Desperation IRL not a turn on?

[Poprad853 9]

I have been turned on by desperation and accidents since I have understood what being turned on meant. I have had a few IRL desperation encounters; some genuine and some playing it up because they knew it turned me on and/or they were turned on by it. I have yet to witness an IRL accident though, save for one instance where it happened to my soon-to-be ex wife but I didn't see anything as she knows about my fetish but has never participated. This applies to both wetting and messing desperation and accidents. Also if it matters to anyone. I am a cisgender male and I have only ever dated cisgender females. I tagged everyone in this because I am curious if any of this applies to anyone and I wanted to be inclusive.

All of that being said, the times I have witnessed the genuine desperation by that of a significant other, I wasn't turned on by it in the moment. Seeing someone I care deeply about being in a genuinely stressful situation that could turn into public humiliation/embarrassment made me just want to help them not have an actual accident. Full transparency, after the fact either during masturbation session or during sex, my imagination goes a wild with the situation embellishing details to create a scenario in which I would be turned on. I have had a few past relationships where my significant others would play up their desperation. I have had a few pee in the toilet in front of me just because and one poop in the toilet in front of me out of desperation. It has been fun for them to play up the desperation because they were enjoying it. I feel like if they are genuinely desperate, aren't into playing it up, and are genuinely distressed and aren't okay with having an accident, I can't be turned on by it. 

I am curious if any others have felt the same way with how having this fetish is kind of a delicate balance in that sense. And this extends even beyond just a significant other. I mean I have seen people desperate for a bathroom in public that I didn't know and couldn't be turned on because of the genuine fear they were experiencing. Oddly though, the recounting of such stories do turn me on like reading desperation accident stories on Toiletstool and the like because at that point the person is willing to share the story. At that point, it feels like they are okay afterward and by proxy me being turned on by it (with imaginative embellishment) takes out the genuine stress they were feeling while it happened. 

This is all very complicated but the question is. Has anyone not gotten turned on by genuine desperation and/or a public accident IRL essentially because you felt bad for the person in that moment?

Thanks and I look forward to your replies! 

Edited July 15 by Poprad853 (see edit history)

[petitewonder 440]

I think this is the case for many people (myself included). If someone is genuinely desperate and a little bit embarrassed/shy, and/or joking about it, then to me it's a turn on. But if there is ever a situation where the person becomes or is genuinely distressed, it doesn't do anything for me, other than wanting to help them out. 

Fantasizing about genuine desperation 100% makes sense. If it's fictionalized, there are no real world consequences for the person so mentally, or in a story, you can easily up the stakes. 

And yeah, reading or hearing about stories in retrospect are definitely a big thing. I'd always read those "most embarrassing story" sections of magazines to see if any of them were wetting-related. Because in these cases, someone is openly, willingly share a story, maybe even looking back and laughing about it, as opposed to being in a potentially humiliating situation that they didn't intend.

[Hitman Hart 824]

11 hours ago, petitewonder said:

I think this is the case for many people (myself included). If someone is genuinely desperate and a little bit embarrassed/shy, and/or joking about it, then to me it's a turn on. But if there is ever a situation where the person becomes or is genuinely distressed, it doesn't do anything for me, other than wanting to help them out. 

Fantasizing about genuine desperation 100% makes sense. If it's fictionalized, there are no real world consequences for the person so mentally, or in a story, you can easily up the stakes. 

And yeah, reading or hearing about stories in retrospect are definitely a big thing. I'd always read those "most embarrassing story" sections of magazines to see if any of them were wetting-related. Because in these cases, someone is openly, willingly share a story, maybe even looking back and laughing about it, as opposed to being in a potentially humiliating situation that they didn't intend.

So True.  Could probably associate this with most porn in general.  A lot of the most interesting stuff is overly fictionalized, but irl I'm never trying 80% of the stuff I've seen on the web. A lot of it feels really demeaning, which again, is fine on camera, but would kinda just make me feel bad in person. lmao

[Kinkhold 92]

I'm turned on by my irl desperation 

[dansdelit 10]

IRL desperation with no protection is a major turnoff for me...or rather there is no stimulation from it..just panic that I ewill not be able to hold it. Happened a couple of times and I was lucky to get away with it . HOWEVER, going out in public with either limited protection, being limited to one bladderful which offers the risk element of overdoing i and being put in a bad situation, or with full protection when you can release in greater or lesser amounts voluntarily or involuntarily, but in total safety and enjoyment.

[SoggyRunner 81]

I experienced this with my own IRL desperation just today. My kid's school band was in a parade this AM. My plan was to park at the start, walk halfway with the band, then peel off, walk back to the car and drive to the finish to meet them. We waited around at the start about an hour, then it was slow going for the first half with lots of stops and starts, and I started to notice a slight feeling of needing to pee early in the walk. By the time we were nearing the halfway point, it was a couple of hours after leaving the house and the pressure in my bladder was rapidly building. I looked for somewhere with a restroom to stop, but we were in a mostly residential area with nothing open. I decided to just head to the car, knowing I could find a restroom near the finish. For some reason today, my urgency seemed to be increasing unusually quickly. By the time I was halfway back to the car, I was pretty desperate, and by the time I reached the car about 15 minutes later, I was holding myself from within my pocket and starting to worry I might not make it to the finish area without an accident.

Normally, I’d be turned on by this and would enjoy the desperation if I were driving straight home by myself. I have often set myself up for a hold when the possibility of an accident is in a safe place. Today, however, I was headed to a very public festival at the finish where I’d have to meet a number of other parents I know. Due to the parade, traffic was a mess, and it took way longer than I expected to drive to the finish area. I had just enough time to get there as the band finished the parade, and no time to find a closer restroom. I finally found parking still at least 10 minutes walk from the finish area, and by this point was in desperation panic mode. It was a real possibility I might wet myself before I finished the walk to the festival, and once I got there I’d still have to hold on and find the restrooms. I had a disposable absorbent mat in the car and I thought about putting it under me and just letting go. I didn’t know how I was going to avoid an accident, and that way at least I would wet myself in private, but I had no spare clothes and would have to walk to pick up my kid in obviously wet shorts. As I turned off the car, I felt a small leak dampen my underwear. I was moments away from losing control, and with no other options I could see, desperately rummaged under the passenger seat for the mat and found an empty cup. I ended up hunched over in the front seat peeing in the cup while trying to cover myself with the mat, hoping none of the nearby pedestrians could tell what I was doing. I finished peeing, avoiding (mostly) dribbling on the seat or my pants, discreetly emptied the cup in the grass by the car, and headed to meet the band, just avoiding a very public and embarrassing accident.

As a fantasy, a scenario like this is a real turn-on for me, but the IRL desperation and very real risk of a public accident around people I know was not at all enjoyable in the moment. A few times with my wife while she was in a public desperate to pee situation, I felt the same way - I only wanted to help her avert an accident and avoid the humiliation and embarrassment. When she has related such an incident to me after the fact, though, it is quite a turn on, but in those cases she chose to share knowing I would find it exciting. I have a feeling it will be the same with recollection of my desperation today now that it is in the past.

[CuteDemonGirl 125]

My omo fetish mostly revolves around myself wetting, and when I read stories/watch vids its usually to try to make myself feel like im experiencing those things.

When someone else has to pee I sometimes get a little embarrassed but I'm like the most sympathetic person ever and will go to the ends of the earth to help them find a bathroom. When it's female desperation I actually sometimes feel a little bit of jealousy.

[DesperateJill 3,573]

Admittedly in a situation like that I would feel sympathetic and try to help the person go to the bathroom and wouldn't deliberately keep them from a bathroom, but I definitely would enjoy them desperate in a situation whether they wanted to be in that situation or not, even though we having been in that situation myself extensively I realize how frustrating it is, because to me those are still the most interesting situations, so once again it's ironic that I have been almost entirely on the receiving end of that!

[IvyWilliams89 1,438]

I personally love being in such a desperate state, where humiliation could happen, but for those who actually struggle and feels embarrassed or what have u, then I wouldn't wish it upon anyone