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What an original idea! Your writing is fast and loose but fun nonetheless. You give the desperation and defecation all the attention they need. And even though it's not what the story is about you give us a great description of the actions and feelings of getting off work and relaxing on a nice day. The only serious problem is shifting tense.

This is a clever and entertaining messing story that can be read in one sitting, something we could use more of here. Well done!

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12 hours ago, Jimmy Olsen said:

What an original idea! Your writing is fast and loose but fun nonetheless. You give the desperation and defecation all the attention they need. And even though it's not what the story is about you give us a great description of the actions and feelings of getting off work and relaxing on a nice day. The only serious problem is shifting tense.

This is a clever and entertaining messing story that can be read in one sitting, something we could use more of here. Well done!

Why thank you for your encouraging words, I deeply appreciate it. One thing I notice with many stories on the net was the lack of detail to the actual messing itself. Which is something I wanted to severely correct with my stories, giving you vivid imagery in your head as you read, as all great stories do.

Your critique is also highly appreciated. Looking back after looking up the phrase 'shifting tense,' I do realize I'm guilty of doing that and see how it can be a negative. Though I would love if you could elaborate on how my writing is fast and loose, I'm curious and knowing these things will help me hopefully improve as I make more.

Again thank you for the support and critique. Feel free to do the same for my other stories as well. The more outside perspective I get whether positive or negative helps me a ton. 🙂👍

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On 5/28/2023 at 4:42 PM, Messy96 said:

Your critique is also highly appreciated. Looking back after looking up the phrase 'shifting tense,' I do realize I'm guilty of doing that and see how it can be a negative. Though I would love if you could elaborate on how my writing is fast and loose, I'm curious and knowing these things will help me hopefully improve as I make more.

It's hard to explain precisely.  It's just a way of doing things.

I'm happy you found my critique helpful.  I hope to see more messes from you!

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