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Why do women cross their legs and show more signs of desperation in line


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At this local beach park near where I live every summer evening there are long lines for the mens and womens restroom. Men only get one urinal and two stalls while women get three stalls. There are hundreds of people at this park near sunset. I have noticed that it's only women who seem to cross their legs, look impatient or even bend their knees while men just stand their stoically. Any thoughts on why? Is it because women have a harder time holding in their pee on average or is it because its more accpetable for women to show signs of desperation? I cant count how many times I have seen women after drinking all evening at the park rush to the restroom and cross their legs constantly or lots of bodily movement while men are just patiently waiting still in line. 

@DesperateJill - I think you once said women are more patient but it seems like at this park its men who are lol

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I think I’ve seen this talked about before and I agree with something one commenter said was guys take desperation as a sign of weakness. Crossing legs or bouncing acting like you are to a point of having to pee so badly puts that weakness on display for everyone. 
 

when I have to go really badly in a public situation I’ll usually put my hand in my pocket and pinch. It’s more discreet and if it gets bad enough I’ll even start to sweat. I think what it comes down to is as a man you don’t want to show to everyone one that you are in a moment of weakness.

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@Angusburger

"I think you once said women are more patient but it seems like at this park its men who are lol"

I see the difference as patient being when you have to wait due to circumstances not when you choose to wait . The difference is that I think men don't have to go nearly as much or nearly as quickly, and when they do have to go they can usually go without much of a wait. Women on the other hand have to go usually more urgently and rapidly and often do have to wait, and for me that is what really patience is about, waiting when you really need it but having to put it off.

@Kat_ie

"I mean (some/most/idk) we also just cross our legs on a normal basis and doing nothing in line tends to also provoke similar behavior?"

I think that's a good point as there are plenty of situations where women just cross their legs in general having nothing to do with desperation. Although I do think it's because partially because anatomy is different. Guys have something there protruding between their legs, so it's probably not as comfortable to cross their legs. Also women have a shorter urethra so there's really nothing to grab, where as a guy would grab if he was extremely desperate a woman doesn't have much of an option other than to cross her legs to try and take the pressure off.


I remember reading somewhere that by crossing your legs it is sort of trying to pinch your urethra shut as a way of trying to hold it in more. How much of a difference this makes is hard to say though, as I think it's more of a nervous habit than anything.

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I actually experience it the opposite direction. When I am desperate to go I usually moves in my seat all the time or put my hand in my pocket trying to pinch. But when my wife is super desperate she only mentions that she is desperate and almost peeing herself but she never shows any external signs of desperation.

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I think some of the reasons are that women went to the toilet only when they are almost bursting cuz you said that they drank all night before rushing to the toilet. It can also be that women have a harder time to hold when like they know they can go soon but still need to wait a bit. Also as mentioned by some people above men don’t like to show that they are desperate and will try to hide their movements

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The autonomic nervous system is also involved in controlling urination. The autonomic nervous system consists of the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system, which acts as the accelerator and brake.

When the sympathetic nervous system is dominant, it relaxes the bladder and contracts the internal urethral sphincter. This causes the urge to urinate to subside. Resting the external urinary sphincter does not lead to incontinence. These are the effects of suppressing the sensations in the organs in order to concentrate on the fight.

When the parasympathetic nervous system becomes dominant, it contracts the bladder and relaxes the internal urinary sphincter. The result is a strong urge to urinate. When the force of contraction of the bladder exceeds the force of contraction of the external urinary sphincter, incontinence occurs.

Men tend to have a more dominant sympathetic nervous system than women. When they are able to get in line, men do not change their urge to urinate because they are in the middle of the fight, but women feel relief and their parasympathetic nervous system becomes dominant, and they suddenly have an incredibly strong urge to urinate. I had an accident the moment I opened the door to the restroom stall at work. I was sobbing in the stall. lol

The pelvic floor muscle group is also weaker in women due to childbirth, and the external urethral sphincter included in it. There is no other way than to tighten it with own legs. If you are a man, think of the sensation of holding #2.

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On 5/30/2023 at 2:05 AM, uguisuAnn said:

The autonomic nervous system is also involved in controlling urination. The autonomic nervous system consists of the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system, which acts as the accelerator and brake.

When the sympathetic nervous system is dominant, it relaxes the bladder and contracts the internal urethral sphincter. This causes the urge to urinate to subside. Resting the external urinary sphincter does not lead to incontinence. These are the effects of suppressing the sensations in the organs in order to concentrate on the fight.

When the parasympathetic nervous system becomes dominant, it contracts the bladder and relaxes the internal urinary sphincter. The result is a strong urge to urinate. When the force of contraction of the bladder exceeds the force of contraction of the external urinary sphincter, incontinence occurs.

Men tend to have a more dominant sympathetic nervous system than women. When they are able to get in line, men do not change their urge to urinate because they are in the middle of the fight, but women feel relief and their parasympathetic nervous system becomes dominant, and they suddenly have an incredibly strong urge to urinate. I had an accident the moment I opened the door to the restroom stall at work. I was sobbing in the stall. lol

The pelvic floor muscle group is also weaker in women due to childbirth, and the external urethral sphincter included in it. There is no other way than to tighten it with own legs. If you are a man, think of the sensation of holding #2.

But I’m a male and when I am standing still when I know that I’m close to a toilet but can’t use it my urge immediately gets very bad but it’s usually controllable when I move around a bit. Yesterday I walked past a toilet in a train station and didn’t use it cuz I wanted to hold it home. My bladder was already bulging a bit and about 12h of pee is inside me. I missed a bus cuz 2 people were blocking the elevator and I couldn’t run up to catch the bus and when I waited for the next one which is in about 10 minutes I had to keep scratching myself or moving my legs every few seconds in order to hold it as the bus stop was quite close to the train station and I couldn’t find a seat at the bus stop. I was able to just make it to the toilet at home before losing control

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Most of the best answers to this phenomenon have been exhausted at this point about women giving birth and having weaker muscles. I just want to add that women probably get more from crossing their legs than men do in a holding situation. I'm a man, and when I get spurts of desperation in public I do instinctively squeeze my legs a bit but it doesn't really help and it really does more to shift around a bit than any dramatic movements. I'm guessing this isn't the same for women.

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