hunter_makoy 83 Posted January 30, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted January 30, 2023 (edited) This is a first time story from my girlfriend of a real accident she had recently. She is looking for any feedback: Upon attempting to exit Walmart during a horrendous rainstorm my light blue jeans became soaked with the streaming freezing cold raindrops, as I tried to sprint across the parking lot to the bus stop to reach my final destination of home. As the numbing raindrops saturated my thighs and my shirt as well, because I neglected to wear a proper jacket, bring an umbrella or even wear bra today, my nipples hardened enough to be fully visible, and my whole body became absolutely frozen, with every step taken. On top of all that, I had to pee. Bad. Very bad. I had planned to stop in the bathroom before leaving but the bus was coming soon so I decided to try and hold it. By the time I approached the bus stop I was already pretty soaked with rain. Wiping the rain off of my face, down my sleeves off my arms, all the while I was shivering, I paused to check my phone to see what time the bus should arrive…. It wasn’t to be expected for at least another 15 minutes….”Damnit, I must’ve just fucking missed it”, I thought to myself. Just on the fact that I had sprinted across the walmart parking lot to the bus stop in that cold freezing rain I could barely hold the urge to absolutely piss my pants right then and there. I barely stopped that one, how am I going to stop the next surge? Much less hold it for another 15 minutes, just to sit on the bus and ride it out for another 45 minutes to get where I needed to be, nor walk the extra 3 blocks and up my 17 stairs to relieve myself in the comfort of my own home. The bus is still 15 minutes away and I feel like I'm 15 SECONDS away from completely urinating in my pants! I clenched my legs tight as I sat on the bus bench, contemplating what to do, or what not to do, surveying my surroundings to make a decision: I could either sit there and wait and see if I could hold it. But then the possibility of potentially pissing my pants on the bus was lingering, and very real, and my anxiety heightened. I could also just find somewhere to pee behind a bush in the time allotted before the bus arrived, but that was not a guarantee as this was a very bare location as far as privacy... Or ultimately I could just sit on this bus bench and piss my pants, and pray that nobody noticed that I did so since because it had been raining for a while already, the ground and my pants were already wet. I pondered my options again and with no one in sight and nowhere safe to go in private, I decided to allow myself to just let it go. I tried to only let a trickle out at a time so nobody that would happen to approach me would notice, but ended up spurting it out once the warm liquid hit my thighs. I couldn't help it, my small trickle of pee suddenly became strong pulsing jets, and soon I was forced to give up as I let the warmness stream out, down my pants, soaking the ground beneath me. There was no stopping it now as I pissed into my pants at full force. I watched it merge into a puddle with the rain pouring off the sheltered cover of the bus stop, just as I needed to stand up for the bus to know to stop and me to board it I was able to shake the rest of the drops off my pants as if they were merely rain as I boarded the bus, relieved and at peace as I boarded the bus finally. Edited January 30, 2023 by hunter_makoy (see edit history) GoldenG8, OmoJack, hanpi and 27 others 19 1 10 Quote Link to comment
GreenChile 828 Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 I love this story, the scenario of do you just let go and hope nobody is intently watching you even though you could easily get away with it due to the rain, or try to hold and possibly end up wetting yourself on a bus. Ugh, it's an ultimate fantasy but I'm too chicken and polite to go through with it. Mariko-chan 1 Quote Link to comment
Mariner62 1,554 Posted January 30, 2023 Share Posted January 30, 2023 I think you made the right choice in wetting your pants while at the bus stop in the rain. If you had waited until getting on the bus, I'm sure someone would have noticed the puddle at your feet getting larger. Quote Link to comment
Vaine Steele 225 Posted January 31, 2023 Share Posted January 31, 2023 On 1/29/2023 at 7:25 PM, hunter_makoy said: This is a first time story from my girlfriend of a real accident she had recently. She is looking for any feedback: Cute story, I liked it. But you asked for some feedback so I'll give some. Upon attempting to exit Walmart during a horrendous rainstorm my light blue jeans became soaked with the streaming freezing cold raindrops, as I tried to sprint across the parking lot to the bus stop to reach my final destination of home. As the numbing raindrops saturated my thighs and my shirt as well, because I neglected to wear a proper jacket, bring an umbrella or even wear bra today, my nipples hardened enough to be fully visible, and my whole body became absolutely frozen, with every step taken. For this paragraph you used the words rain and frozen a lot. Something as simple as swapping out those for something like "downpour/drizzle/precipitation" and "bitter/chilled/iced" can make the writing flow better and be less repetitive. Don't be afraid to use a thesaurus when jotting your story down if you notice yourself repeating the same verbs and adjectives and even nouns alot, it can really help elevate your writing. This goes for words such as bus and urine as well, although you used a wide variety of phrases for piss so that was good. Only other advice I have for you would be to describe the urination accident in more detail, talking about how wet your panties and vagina got, how it made you feel during and after, if you got horny or embarrassed, etc. Overall, just practice and you'll improve with time, like any other skill. Either way I enjoyed reading this. Now I'm wondering how it'd feel to pee in the heavy rain lol. Mariko-chan 1 Quote Link to comment
hunter_makoy 83 Posted February 1, 2023 Author Share Posted February 1, 2023 On 1/30/2023 at 7:27 PM, Vaine Steele said: Cute story, I liked it. But you asked for some feedback so I'll give some. Upon attempting to exit Walmart during a horrendous rainstorm my light blue jeans became soaked with the streaming freezing cold raindrops, as I tried to sprint across the parking lot to the bus stop to reach my final destination of home. As the numbing raindrops saturated my thighs and my shirt as well, because I neglected to wear a proper jacket, bring an umbrella or even wear bra today, my nipples hardened enough to be fully visible, and my whole body became absolutely frozen, with every step taken. For this paragraph you used the words rain and frozen a lot. Something as simple as swapping out those for something like "downpour/drizzle/precipitation" and "bitter/chilled/iced" can make the writing flow better and be less repetitive. Don't be afraid to use a thesaurus when jotting your story down if you notice yourself repeating the same verbs and adjectives and even nouns alot, it can really help elevate your writing. This goes for words such as bus and urine as well, although you used a wide variety of phrases for piss so that was good. Only other advice I have for you would be to describe the urination accident in more detail, talking about how wet your panties and vagina got, how it made you feel during and after, if you got horny or embarrassed, etc. Overall, just practice and you'll improve with time, like any other skill. Either way I enjoyed reading this. Now I'm wondering how it'd feel to pee in the heavy rain lol. Thanks, I appreciate all the feedback! Thats definitely something I'm trying to work on to get more detail about the actual act. Quote Link to comment
LupusCanis88 70 Posted February 2, 2023 Share Posted February 2, 2023 Love this story. The contemplation is what makes it great for me. Quote Link to comment
hunter_makoy 83 Posted March 31, 2023 Author Share Posted March 31, 2023 On 2/2/2023 at 4:07 AM, LupusCanis88 said: Love this story. The contemplation is what makes it great for me. Thank you! I was hoping that part would go over well! I love that myself! I'm really hoping to work on some extra detail for the next one as well. Its just hard because its a first time thing, but I'm pretty optimistic! LupusCanis88 1 Quote Link to comment
watchingherhold 103 Posted March 31, 2023 Share Posted March 31, 2023 I really enjoyed reading your experience. Plenty of detail about the situation you were in. Thank you so much for sharing. Quote Link to comment
Shaved Monkey 135 Posted April 1, 2023 Share Posted April 1, 2023 i really enjoyed reading your story. Tell us more if there is more! 🙂 Quote Link to comment
hunter_makoy 83 Posted April 2, 2023 Author Share Posted April 2, 2023 10 hours ago, Shaved Monkey said: i really enjoyed reading your story. Tell us more if there is more! 🙂 Quote Link to comment
peepantsrunner 275 Posted April 2, 2023 Share Posted April 2, 2023 That was a good story, although I'll agree that a thesaurus could go a long way in telling future stories with a better flow to them. I always love reading about situations where people kind of call it an accident because they accidentally got way too desperate to make it to a toilet, but it's also kind of an intentional wetting because they chose to let go at some point rather than fight it until they loose control. Quote Link to comment
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