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Maybe you don´t mean it the way I read it, but I think that if you feel like you have to engage in something or accept it just to have them doing your kink in return, it´s not gonna work out in the long run. Of course it´s ok to try something your partner wants to do even if you´re not 100% sure you´ll like it, but it´s crucial to find a way to actually enjoy it for yourself. It doesn´t mean you have to share the kink, sometimes just knowing/seeing what it does to the other person is enough for you to start loving it.

My partner is into 3 piece-suits with shirt and tie, both wearing himself and see me wear it. If I wear a suit for him it´s because I enjoy doing it. Some of the things I get in return is to see him on fire, and the pleasure of sharing that intimate moment, but we have also developed our own individual ways of enjoying the other´s fetish. It has helped of course that we´re both fetishists and can understand and mirror ourselves in the other, but in that moment I´m just there, I don´t do it to get something else.

it´s the same the other way around, if my partner would wet himself for me only because he wanted me to dress up for him in return, I wouldn´t be able to enjoy it. 

Our fetishes are also great to combine, and that´s awesome. Then we can both be in that fullblown fetish space at the same time. 

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Well yes and no.. (I apologize in advance, but we are a little old fashioned my wife and I) 

My wife and I have been married for many years, my argument is that it works just fine in the long run. I had not imagined this kind og debate 🙂, but anyhow, with this kink, you have limited options if you want to practice it.
1. You find another omo fetishist, which can be problematic, as there are not so many and they are hard to find. Given that you find one, what are the odds that you actually match on all other aspects? is it worth not dating a non omo-lover if you are compatible in all other ways?
2. You persuade your other half to practice it with you. 
3. Keep it secret.

Anyone in a marrige knows that it's all about compromise if you want to live together as a "team". Take a vacation as an example, how many things do you not do during such, just to please your partner? the next day, then you'll probably do something that you enjoy, (which maybe makes your partner want to kill him/herself) But the essence is that living together is about doing something for the other to please them, and then it will go the other way around too.

We all know what it means when you come home to your favorite dish, followed by her hinting to having to pee, then it's because she wants something fixed in the house 😛

And then as you say, you are just very lucky if your fetishes can combine, and yes there is something true about getting the joy of pleasing each other, just to see their reaction/enjoyment. That is also kind of why my wife engages in omo for me. She recently discovered that (being payed)/told what to do is kind of her thing, and that is also a part of why she can enjoy omo.(Kind of a sex worker fetish)

What I meant with this thread was just to hear those synergies between fetishes, are they compatible or not? is it something you like doing or something you only do to please your partner? 

I hope it makes some kind of sense 🙂 

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This is an interesting one which funny enough i gave my similar two cents in a different thread. My take on it is are you doing it just to have peace like you HAVE to for the relationship? or are you compromising because you honestly dont mind? 
 

Kinks are not the most important to me when i think of a relationship, as like you said, you could find someone in this community, but then share nothing else in common together and then it’s basically a kink relationship rather than a genuine love and connection that lasts a lifetime. You aren’t getting love out of that kind of relationship, just someone to please your dirty side. (If that’s something you want in life thats your preference).

Ive met guys where they had fetishes that i was like absolutely not, and fetishes where im like “possibly”, and guys have been the same with me. I think if you are willing to try your partners kink or even just witness what they do or like, to get an understanding, then you can know whether you can compromise and engage with one another in it, or if it simply isn’t for you, then you can find standard or your own unique things that satisfy both of you. 

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On 1/31/2023 at 9:32 PM, Brittanybunny said:

This is an interesting one which funny enough i gave my similar two cents in a different thread. My take on it is are you doing it just to have peace like you HAVE to for the relationship? or are you compromising because you honestly dont mind? 
 

Kinks are not the most important to me when i think of a relationship, as like you said, you could find someone in this community, but then share nothing else in common together and then it’s basically a kink relationship rather than a genuine love and connection that lasts a lifetime. You aren’t getting love out of that kind of relationship, just someone to please your dirty side. (If that’s something you want in life thats your preference).

Ive met guys where they had fetishes that i was like absolutely not, and fetishes where im like “possibly”, and guys have been the same with me. I think if you are willing to try your partners kink or even just witness what they do or like, to get an understanding, then you can know whether you can compromise and engage with one another in it, or if it simply isn’t for you, then you can find standard or your own unique things that satisfy both of you. 

If you mean relationships in general, then my belief is that compromise is the key. And that goes both ways! I would never "do something" to have peace in a relationship. 

But when that is said, well both have to for instance enjoy sex. For a non omo lover, well maybe you dont fancy thinking about piss during sex. Do you do it for your partner? well yes, do you enjoy seeing her/him happy, well yes of course, else it would be pretty dysfunctional. Anyhow I know what my wife likes to do in the bedroom, if I let her have her way, then afterwards I will have mine. That was kind of my thought, you are not always so lucky that your fetishes are 100% compatible.

Very much agree that a relationship based on kinks is going to be empty at some point. And another thing comes in to play in my case, my fetish is kind of "strange", and does not fit anywhere. I have talked to various people in the omo community, I have been enjoying this fetish for many years, the people I have talked to in the community would not have been any closer to my preferences. If you very roughly have to put people in boxes, the majority I came across were:

Wetting fans, who does not care for regular pissing, or toilet pissing at all.
ABDL - self explanatory
Watersports and hardcore
Desperation/bladder bulge - Who does not care for the peeing either.

(yes I know that there is many many more, this is just the majority that I have met on 1 on 1 conversational level)

I am kind of in between, which is why I chose not to look for a " non fetish compatible partner". It actually brings me closer to ideal, to persuade my wife to do exactly what I like in exchange for what she likes, instead of someone with a slightly different fetish. She is just like, well it is not my fetish so you can have it your way.

That is kind of what I meant with compromise. 

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I guess i see that, its a compromise but also shows you both dont mind each others fetish is what i was getting at. 
 

For some, someone elses fetish may not be their thing, but they do it because they actually dont mind doing it (what sounds like your situation) where as for others, some it may turn them off completely and they dont even want to think about it, but its a matter at that point of “are you in the relationship only to get your fetish satisfactions? or do you have something else in common, sexually and non sexually, that you both can enjoy together” is what i was trying to explain. 
 

People that are able to do what you do in a relationship i guess in my opinion i dont see it as a compromise per say because you both dont mind doing each others fetishes and kinks, and it makes you happy in the end knowing they are happy, thats just generally sweet and shows you have more going for you than just fetishes. You both understand each other which is super awesome! 
 

long story short that i was getting at is it depends on the situation. Some people fulfill each other’s fantasies in a relationship because no matter how strange it is, they are open, some people they have their limits and its a hard no. But if whether or not engaging in a kink your partner likes that makes you uncomfortable or not is the thing that makes it or breaks it then it isnt a relationship at all. 
 

There are fetishes others have liked that ive been open to, but rarely find anyone who likes my kink, and for me i dont make a compromise if they literally are not comfortable engaging in it, because besides pee and diapers, i have plenty of other things that i enjoy, so i dont come out completely empty handed

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Before I was married, I did play the field quite a bit, and many women do have fetishes and quirks!

I once dated a woman dress up in a leather cat thingy. During sex, she made noises like a cat and scratched the living hell out of me. Probably the more common fetish I have personally encountered with women is "man-handling" where she enjoys being "playfully and contextually" abused. Women have asked me to hold them down, tie them up, strangle, spank, bite and give hickeys. One woman enjoyed being 'fisted', which actually worked to my advantage as it sometimes lead to a few squirts!

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  • 5 months later...
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