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Fetishists unite


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Typically it seems like fetishists try to stick to their own subgroups, sometimes feeling very lonely, wondering why their fetish can´t be more mainstream, so they have a better chance to find like-minded.
I have realised it´s much more empowering to identify as a part of the larger group of fetishists. I now have a bunch of irl-friends with different fetishes. I can be myself even with people who has never heard of omorashi, because they still can relate to what it feels like having a fetish. We all share the same childhood experiences, the past loneliness and shame, but we also share the same positive experiences. A fetish has so much potential to be a great thing in your life. When we meet and talk about our fetishes as the most natural thing in the world, share the pride and joy, it feels amazing.
There are many of us, and I think fetishists should unite much more, help each other to find self-acceptance and the courage to be as open with our sexuality as we want to be. Educate the world around us if we can, so that we can change how we, and other people look at us, slowly break the strong stigmas and misunderstandings around fetishism to make it easier for other fetishists to embrace who they are.

It´s a common opinion, even among kinksters, that we should just keep hiding and never come out to anyone but our sex partners. But how is that going to make a change for all those who suffer from the stigmas so much that they can´t even identify as a fetishist, enjoy their fetish, or tell a partner about it? You shouldn´t have to live a whole life denying yourself. Being open about the existence of fetishism and how it works, isn´t the same as telling intimate details about your sex-life, as some people seem to assume.

I think it´s important also, to never build your own self-acceptance upon shaming other fetishists. To value different fetishes and say things like “my fetish is pretty harmless/mild/natural compared to some other fetishes” is to go the wrong way about it.  

Does anyone here share these thoughts? Do you have experiences of getting together with other fetishists? Does such networks exist where you live?

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3 hours ago, Tellnoone said:

Typically it seems like fetishists try to stick to their own subgroups, sometimes feeling very lonely, wondering why their fetish can´t be more mainstream, so they have a better chance to find like-minded.
I have realised it´s much more empowering to identify as a part of the larger group of fetishists. I now have a bunch of irl-friends with different fetishes. I can be myself even with people who has never heard of omorashi, because they still can relate to what it feels like having a fetish. We all share the same childhood experiences, the past loneliness and shame, but we also share the same positive experiences. A fetish has so much potential to be a great thing in your life. When we meet and talk about our fetishes as the most natural thing in the world, share the pride and joy, it feels amazing.
There are many of us, and I think fetishists should unite much more, help each other to find self-acceptance and the courage to be as open with our sexuality as we want to be. Educate the world around us if we can, so that we can change how we, and other people look at us, slowly break the strong stigmas and misunderstandings around fetishism to make it easier for other fetishists to embrace who they are.

It´s a common opinion, even among kinksters, that we should just keep hiding and never come out to anyone but our sex partners. But how is that going to make a change for all those who suffer from the stigmas so much that they can´t even identify as a fetishist, enjoy their fetish, or tell a partner about it? You shouldn´t have to live a whole life denying yourself. Being open about the existence of fetishism and how it works, isn´t the same as telling intimate details about your sex-life, as some people seem to assume.

I think it´s important also, to never build your own self-acceptance upon shaming other fetishists. To value different fetishes and say things like “my fetish is pretty harmless/mild/natural compared to some other fetishes” is to go the wrong way about it.  

Does anyone here share these thoughts? Do you have experiences of getting together with other fetishists? Does such networks exist where you live?

I absolutely agree! No fetish is exactly the same. Even with omorashi, there are dozens of different branches to it. All these fetishes are special and unique in their own right.

No one should be shaming others or putting others down for their fetish. We all should band together. It is great there is this place for omorashi lovers like us, but I do wish for a place where all sexual fetishes can come together.

Great post and great ideas!

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Interesting concepts.

 

I have two main fetishes and I'm very happy to share them here in this non-face-to-face world of aliases. But do I feel comfortable sharing them with people in my physical world? Even my wife only knows about one of my fetishes because I'm not sure how she would feel about the other one.

 

Of course how I feel may be entirely different from how others do and I happily accept that. But I quite like keeping the fetish I have shared with my wife as one only to be known by her as far as people who know my identity are concerned.

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22 hours ago, wetskipants said:

Interesting concepts.

 

I have two main fetishes and I'm very happy to share them here in this non-face-to-face world of aliases. But do I feel comfortable sharing them with people in my physical world? Even my wife only knows about one of my fetishes because I'm not sure how she would feel about the other one.

 

Of course how I feel may be entirely different from how others do and I happily accept that. But I quite like keeping the fetish I have shared with my wife as one only to be known by her as far as people who know my identity are concerned.

I see, and of course there´s nothing wrong in keeping things private when you feel fine doing so. I personally have no interest in letting non-fetishists know what fetish I have, so if I tell them I just say I am a fetishist, not more than that. It´s part of the fetish for me that peeing your pants is a taboo thing, and something I do secretly. I like hiding it. But I don´t like needing to hide the fact that I´m a fetishist. That´s a big difference to me. Not that I need to go around telling people out of the blue, but if the topics comes up, or if I have intimate conversations with friends/family about important things happening in our lives, I want to feel like I can be open about it without feeling like I´m a freak.

How open you want/need to be is personal, and also depends on what role the fetish has in your life, I guess.

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I know anything related to sex has an uphill battle in terms of wider social acceptance - homosexuality is still a magnet for legal attacks and harassment even after decades of pushing back, with a considerable cost in blood, and anything transgender is now about where being gay or lesbian was two or three decades ago. And people needed to be out on the front lines of both battles to get as far as they did.

Still, I've always felt this part of me is more of a Deep Cover / Sleeper Agent thing, rather than a Marching In The Streets thing. Or maybe that's just where my skills lie, smiling and nodding until the right moment to stab my enemy in the back. (Why do you think my profile pic is the TF2 Spy?)

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On 11/28/2022 at 9:56 PM, Tellnoone said:

I see, and of course there´s nothing wrong in keeping things private when you feel fine doing so. I personally have no interest in letting non-fetishists know what fetish I have, so if I tell them I just say I am a fetishist, not more than that. It´s part of the fetish for me that peeing your pants is a taboo thing, and something I do secretly. I like hiding it. But I don´t like needing to hide the fact that I´m a fetishist. That´s a big difference to me. Not that I need to go around telling people out of the blue, but if the topics comes up, or if I have intimate conversations with friends/family about important things happening in our lives, I want to feel like I can be open about it without feeling like I´m a freak.

How open you want/need to be is personal, and also depends on what role the fetish has in your life, I guess.

I see what you mean. You reveal as much information as is right for any given situation/relationship. That makes sense.

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I've been around the block to realize that even if you have a kink or fetish in common with someone, that may be the ONLY thing you have in common with them.

I much prefer to keep my kinks and fantasies to myself. It has never bothered me. Other than this board, I just don't talk about it because there's no real need for me to do so. I mean, it's nice to have a place to talk about it more or less openly, but I would never let that cross into my social life, even if—and I say this mainly as a hypothetical because I accepted the reality of my situation a while ago—I were to ever find a partner.

I've always cringed at people who build an identity around some aspect of their lives. For example, being autistic, I have come across autistic social media. And it's horribly cliquey and filled with groupthink. Plus they will let in any self-diagnosed person who agrees with the identity politics.

I mean, we're so much more as human beings than just... that! Whatever "that" may be.

EDIT: I think this is the first time I've been downvoted. Ha!

Edited by p33sh33tz (see edit history)
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17 hours ago, p33sh33tz said:

EDIT: I think this is the first time I've been downvoted. Ha!

But not the first time you've been upvoted ^_^. I totally agree with you, my fetishes are mine and mine alone, only to be shared with those who I know really close (or anonymously on the internet w). I'm definitely not making a "movement" brandishing silly flags out of it.

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