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female Why does it feel like I will never find my person?


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hi friends ♡.

this is just the rant of a little that is tired. It feels like I've been trying to find my other for so long that maybe they are just not out there. Every time I feel like I connect with someone it turns out they are halfway across the world (and I know that isn't the end of the world) but there are days where I wish someone would just take care of me and there is no one. I always get told to be patient but I have been so long.

I'm just really tired 😞

(and I hope everyone is having a better month. I'm sending my love to everyone)

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26 minutes ago, venustasvirgo said:

hi friends ♡.

this is just the rant of a little that is tired. It feels like I've been trying to find my other for so long that maybe they are just not out there. Every time I feel like I connect with someone it turns out they are halfway across the world (and I know that isn't the end of the world) but there are days where I wish someone would just take care of me and there is no one. I always get told to be patient but I have been so long.

I'm just really tired 😞

(and I hope everyone is having a better month. I'm sending my love to everyone)

I know this feeling I’m trying to find a woman who is into this not kinkshame me for this but oh well it won’t happen for me. Maybe you but not me

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1 hour ago, venustasvirgo said:

hi friends ♡.

this is just the rant of a little that is tired. It feels like I've been trying to find my other for so long that maybe they are just not out there. Every time I feel like I connect with someone it turns out they are halfway across the world (and I know that isn't the end of the world) but there are days where I wish someone would just take care of me and there is no one. I always get told to be patient but I have been so long.

I'm just really tired 😞

(and I hope everyone is having a better month. I'm sending my love to everyone)

So many people on this site feel exactly the same way you do. I know it seems like searching for a needle in a haystack, but with so many of us here, and all over the internet — and so many of us looking for our person — the odds are better now than they’ve ever been in history for you to find the puzzle piece who fits you perfectly. Putting your authentic self out there in forums like this can only help. I’m sending you hugs and cheering you on as you continue your epic hero’s quest. 

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I can relate as pretty much everybody who shares my fetishes that I would be compatible with lives nowhere near enough to make a meeting feasible. As someone who is about a week or two away from being a 39-year-old virgin I wouldn't say that I'd necessarily given up trying to find somebody but I also don't expect to ever have success.

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The best tip is, don't look. It's like the saying with a watched pot never boils. When you aren't looking someone will turn up out of the blue. 

And who is the one? 

If you asked me 15 years ago I would never have guessed who I ended with. What I am trying to say is something or someone might not be perfect. But when you "grow" together, what you build together might over time be close to perfect. 

Anyhow I wish you the best in the future! 

P

 

 

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Personally, I felt the same for a while. I always worried why I haven't found the one or even been in a good relationship yet. I think what caused me to change my mindset is literally not worrying so much about it. Media always puts love on a pedestal but it's not always going to be the perfect soulmate romantic story; rather, it's whatever you and whoever you find make of it.

And I don't think you should frantically look for the one but I don't think you should ENTIRELY stop looking either - as in, don't close yourself off if someone in your life ends up connecting with you. Just don't sacrifice your mental health desperately trying to find the one.

What helped me not worry about it so much is spending time in other venues. I have a main hobby that I dedicate my time to and very good friends that I am very comfortable with. Obviously this is dependent on your situation, but if you have good friends then hopefully spending time with them will help you realize that love isn't just what you need. Spending time with my friends, doing my hobby, and doing other things in life definitely helped in not being so worried about finding love.

Ik I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but since I've dealt with similar feelings before, I'm willing to lend an ear if you ever want to chat.

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12 hours ago, Roguepoet said:

I feel exactly the same way. We are few and far between. I honestly gave up searching. Energy now is spent making myself happy 😊. If someone comes along great if not I’ll just keep doing me 😏🤣.

Exactly my thoughts, I was there too many years ago. When I stopped searching one came along. I've heard if you don't search, and as you say make your self happy, that happiness shines through, that makes you more attractive to others. Both mentally and physically. 

 

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My best advice to be frankly honest to anyone on this site…. Dont find someone who shares the same kink. If they do thats a bonus! But do not make it your goal to only search for those in this community. Find someone who you share a genuine connection with and is accepting and open minded. Ive come to learn over the years that not only your love life and also sex life will be very empty if kink is all you base it on. 
 

your person will come! It takes time, believe me there are a ton of hurdles, but its not impossible I promise 

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I hate to be the Debbie Downer of the thread, but the reality is, if you're over a certain age and still single, you're never going to find a partner. Especially if you're a guy, the single women of today have raised their standards so high that most men will never be able to reach them, and it doesn't bother the women that they'll be alone forever. I've found myself for so long on the losing end of interactions, blind dates that get cancelled when they find out who I am, women who freak out and run away when I express any desire beyond friendship, online dating matches that should be ideal fits for me that end up just ignoring or blocking me... so often that I just gave up. And no, unlike the myth that keeps getting circulated that it'll happen when you stop looking, it didn't. 

I could learn to accept it if it weren't the only way to reproduce. But if my life doesn't have enough inherent value for me to continue it to the next generation, then the way this planet is going, I'm better off dead and not consuming anymore!

Until our society finally realizes that the way we are doing things is horribly broken, I don't see any hope for the future. Look at the stats: more people are dying than being born in most of the developed world, age of marriage is rising to far beyond peak fertility... I think we've forgotten the point. Maybe I'm old school. I'll admit that. But we've progressed over a cliff if you ask me.

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7 minutes ago, p33sh33tz said:

I hate to be the Debbie Downer of the thread, but the reality is, if you're over a certain age and still single, you're never going to find a partner. Especially if you're a guy, the single women of today have raised their standards so high that most men will never be able to reach them, and it doesn't bother the women that they'll be alone forever. I've found myself for so long on the losing end of interactions, blind dates that get cancelled when they find out who I am, women who freak out and run away when I express any desire beyond friendship, online dating matches that should be ideal fits for me that end up just ignoring or blocking me... so often that I just gave up. And no, unlike the myth that keeps getting circulated that it'll happen when you stop looking, it didn't. 

I could learn to accept it if it weren't the only way to reproduce. But if my life doesn't have enough inherent value for me to continue it to the next generation, then the way this planet is going, I'm better off dead and not consuming anymore!

Until our society finally realizes that the way we are doing things is horribly broken, I don't see any hope for the future. Look at the stats: more people are dying than being born in most of the developed world, age of marriage is rising to far beyond peak fertility... I think we've forgotten the point. Maybe I'm old school. I'll admit that. But we've progressed over a cliff if you ask me.

If your aim is to reproduce, you could always be a donor…

I don’t think it’s right to say to anyone that they either will or won’t find someone. Everyone’s different, as are their situations, requirements etc. I’m not convinced there’s “someone out there for everyone” as some say, but equally, wouldn’t write anyone off completely, including myself (how many people/couples do you meet and think “how the hell did they find someone?” A fair amount.) One thing I am sure of though is that coming across as desperate (not in the bladder sense!) will never get you anywhere.

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7 hours ago, Brittanybunny said:

My best advice to be frankly honest to anyone on this site…. Dont find someone who shares the same kink. If they do thats a bonus! But do not make it your goal to only search for those in this community. Find someone who you share a genuine connection with and is accepting and open minded. Ive come to learn over the years that not only your love life and also sex life will be very empty if kink is all you base it on. 
 

your person will come! It takes time, believe me there are a ton of hurdles, but its not impossible I promise 

disagree. if your partner does not share your kink, how will you get off except if youare polyamorous

why dont we all date EACH OTHER then? on this site. thats a quick solution for ya. assotative mating

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