Jump to content
Existing user? Sign In

Sign In



Sign Up

Recommended Posts

I know that this is fantasy, but if you are going to write a story about the Navy, you should learn the correct terminology. The Navy, does not have Sargeants. Senior enlisted ranks are called Petty Officers. Commisioned officers are always senior to Petty Officers, and junior officers are not recuits. That's reserved for junior enlisted. A junior officer would be an Ensign and Ensigns would never report to a Sargeant. You will not find a Canteen in the Navy, but a Mess hall, commonly referred to as the Mess. A Navy bathroom or restroom is called a Head. 

Link to comment

I can't tell you how much I love this story! I have been into desperation for well over 20 years and actively reading and writing desperation stories throughout that time, This is one of the best I have ever read. I really cannot undersell how much it turned me on, it is probably in my top ten stories of all time and ticked off so many of my favourite desperation tropes. It is simply sublime! Bravo!

 

As for the criticism, I really dont think it matters. I guess those things may irritate if you have served in the Navy, but it certainly didnt take anything away from the story from my perspective, it was clear at every point who the senior ranks were.

Link to comment

Absolutely great story and absolutely perfect written!

I love it that Clara was forced because of some circumstances to hold it for so long and she had to put it off again and again,although her bladder was near to explode.

Hot and arousing that Jane asked for permission to pee and that she was allowed to go, but Clara who was full to burst and frantic from needing to wee so bad had to wait and to hold.

That must have been absolutely torture for Clara!  
So great that Jane said as she came back totally relieved to the bursting full Clara       “ You have no idea how bad i had to pee the whole time!” 

 

 

Link to comment
On 11/5/2022 at 7:09 AM, dwp said:

I know that this is fantasy, but if you are going to write a story about the Navy, you should learn the correct terminology. The Navy, does not have Sargeants. Senior enlisted ranks are called Petty Officers. Commisioned officers are always senior to Petty Officers, and junior officers are not recuits. That's reserved for junior enlisted. A junior officer would be an Ensign and Ensigns would never report to a Sargeant. You will not find a Canteen in the Navy, but a Mess hall, commonly referred to as the Mess. A Navy bathroom or restroom is called a Head. 

Not entirely true, while yes there is no “Sergeant” in the Navy, the Navy very frequently the Navy works with Marine Corps personnel as instructors, so it’s possible the instructor could be a Sergeant. Also, an officer in training is below an NCO, as they are not formally commissioned yet.

Link to comment
2 hours ago, Bf1fan said:

Not entirely true, while yes there is no “Sergeant” in the Navy, the Navy very frequently the Navy works with Marine Corps personnel as instructors, so it’s possible the instructor could be a Sergeant. Also, an officer in training is below an NCO, as they are not formally commissioned yet.

You’re exactly right, at least for the US armed forces (because that’s where I live). And if anyone has seen An Officer And A Gentleman, you might remember Louis Gossett Jr. as the Marine sergeant who terrorized the officers in training.  Anyway, great story! I could feel Clara’s desperation! And I didn’t think she was going to make it!

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...