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3hrs, 24oz(710ml) of coffee, and 2.5L of water later:

Y'all...so like, I'm not gonna "Pics Or It Didn't Happen" this until I have permission from the Mods, as it involves, depending on your state/province/country, possible illicit substances but...I just scored a bigolgodam bag of Edible Gummies THAT I DIDN'T EVEN FUCKIN' PAY FOR!

Some dude next door I know just fuckin' slapped a 5er in my hand and said "'Ey, lookout [My Street Name](which I'm NOT sharin' unless you're local), take this 'ere an' go see [Other Guy's Street Name] downa block. He got sumthin' fo' ya." To which I responded, "A'ight bet." I procceeded to go "Downa Block," found [Other Guy], and told him what my neighbor told me, handin' him the $5. He went inside for a bit and came back out with a bag almost the size of my fist full of Magick little cubes! He put the bag down in my hand and then he just gave me that nod that all Drug Dealers in the U.S. give you. It's a nod that directly translates into "Our Business Transaction Has Concluded, Would You Kindly Kick Rocks And Go Fuck Off."

I turned heel and did my best attempt at a "Thug March" I could muster back to my place. I located the Catalyst of this whole Adventure and asked exactly what I'm supposed to do with this, fearing in the back of my mind that I just inadvertantly got initiated into a Gang or something. I'm not knockin' the Gang Life, it's just I'm pretty sure the streets of ATX aren't ready for a 36 year old D&D Slingin', Video Game Crushin', Star Trek Online-Watch-Party Havin' OG-Nerd Thug. It's just not the right time.

So anyways, he told me "Nah [Word I'm Not Ethnically Allowed To Say], that's fo' you, Dawg. Enjoy 'em, Bruh." He clapped me on the shoulder and went inside. I'm just sittin' here now like, I posted in my Funny Drug Stories thread earlier this morning sayin' "Everyday's a fuckin' adventure in The 'Hood" or some shit, but...I'm feelin' like the Skweezy Jibbs of East ATX right now, y'all! This is turnin' into a dope-ass Saturday, it's making look forward to my wet inevitability even more!

More to come!

 

#Omo'HoodLife

Edited by solous.persona (see edit history)
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As day rolls into evening down here in the Lone Star State, I'm still Holding strong. Chalk another liter up on the board.

I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and my neighbors were outside chillin'. One of them waved me over and they generously shared a Clutch Blunt with me. We chilled out there for a little bit, until one of the dude's girlfriend just strolls up out of nowhere and just BAM. Instant argument. And I'm talkin' full-blown, hood-ass, just yeah. I immediately extricate myself from that awkward situation. Now I'm just hangin' out in my room, 'bout to watch a Let's Play.

I'm probably not gonna go back outside again as I'm starting to have to be very mindful of making any sudden movements. My neighbors are cool and all it's just...Gangstas don't "get" Omo. Golden Showes? Hell yeah! But wetting, and holding and stuff? Yeah they shy away from it.

 

#Omo'HoodLife

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That's it! I couldn't hold it anymore! I made the mistake going into the bathroom as I was looking for something. All the sudden my whole lower abdomin tenses up and I knew right then and there I wasn't gonna make it! I had just enough time to crab-walk over to my phone and back, strip off my shorts and shirt, and hop in the shower. Video is on it's way!

[satisfied sigh] What a great fuckin' Saturday!

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Sounds like someone from achievement Hunter got some goodies for the lads lol. Thanks for the hints in your story to back up my claim here by the way. Anyway enough joking aside don't be a thug please we have already had enough people in omo die this year from bad things happening to them, I don't want to have another one because you went and became a thug and got something that depending on your state you live in is now legal anyway.

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6 hours ago, Lovetoholdin said:

Sounds like someone from achievement Hunter got some goodies for the lads lol. Thanks for the hints in your story to back up my claim here by the way. Anyway enough joking aside don't be a thug please we have already had enough people in omo die this year from bad things happening to them, I don't want to have another one because you went and became a thug and got something that depending on your state you live in is now legal anyway.

I'm not a thug, nor do I strive to be one. I just so happen, thru my own inability to make good decisions, to live in the 'Hood. I'm also just really comfortable around criminals; it's an occupational hazard of working in kitchens for over a decade. And trust me when I say it's not legal; I live in Texas. We'll be the last fuckin' state to legalize ANYTHING.

I get what you're sayin' tho. I am careful wherever I go; you learn to be super wary of your surroundings. The rest is just knowing when and how to approach people. I just try to make the best of what I got in life right now; just like everyone else "Downa Block." 😄 If I can turn it into a series of funny stories and make some people smile along the way, then I feel like I've done my part in bringing some form of positivity into this world.

Edited by solous.persona (see edit history)
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