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Here's a little something I just whipped up on a lark. Enjoy!

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You are walking hurriedly through a massive office building. You are weaving around a seemingly endless maze of desks, cubicles, and printers. For a brief moment, you forget where you’re heading in such a rush. Then you realize you need to deliver an important portfolio of reports to the Big Boss. He’s going to be in a bad mood, and you’d better hurry.

You’re so worried about making your delivery, you don’t notice that the office floor is very dimly lit, and you can only see a few yards ahead of you. You don’t care that the brightest objects you see as you speed through are soda machines, seemingly everywhere, all with bright florescent signs advertising Wet! Cola, all gurgling with the sound of running water, like normal vending machines. And you don’t have time to consider all these wet spots on the carpet, or where they came from, or why you have an urge to splash in them.

You are only focused on two facts: One, if you don’t deliver these reports soon, you’re going to be in a lot of trouble with the Big Boss. And that’s unfortunate, because you have no idea where you need to deliver it, only that you need to hurry. And two, you need to go to the bathroom. Badly. But there’s no time for that now!

But by sheer luck, you suddenly find yourself right outside the Big Board Room! Success! Without knocking, you open the large double doors and waling on in.

The Big Board Room has a long conference table that seems to run on for a quarter mile. And a businessman in every chair is looking right at you, annoyed at the interruption. At the far end of the table, you see the Big Boss, standing, his face red with anger. You walk down the length of the table, all the businessmen swivel in their chairs to stare at you. Until finally, you reach the end.

“Here are those reports you wanted, sir.”

But even as you hand the portfolio to the irate Big Boss, you realize with a sinking heart that you forgot the most important report of all: Analysis P!

“Where’s the P Report? Damn it, we need that P!” he says, slamming the papers down on the table for emphasis. “The P is mission critical! And if you can’t handle it, you’re going to be let go!”

In the corner of the Big Board Room, just behind the Big Boss, you see a toilet, sitting right out in the open. You want to walk right over and pee, but the Big Boss is in the way. You start to raise your hand to ask if you can use the toilet, but the Big Boss pounds the table again. “What are you waiting for. We need the report. Go P!”

You start rushing back toward the door on the far end of the room. The dead-eyed businessmen are still swiveling to look at you, except now you’re in your underwear and embarrassed. And each of them parrots the Big Boss as you go past: “P.” “P.” “P.”

Mercifully, you get back to the double doors and close them behind you as you exit back into the office. The floor is still dark, but there’s a soda machine, and the light from the Wet! Cola sign is especially bright. What are you going to do? You don’t know where your office is, and you don’t know how to write the report. And if you don’t deliver the report, the Big Boss will never let you use his toilet. This is terrible! You’re almost about to cry.

“But you don’t need him. And you don’t need to use his toilet.”

A bright light appears above you, and you see a beautiful angelic creature descending from the sky, bathed in white light. You sense that that she is kind and that she will rescue you.

Almost in sobs, you say, “I need to make a report for the Big Boss, and I need to use the toilet. I don’t know what to do. Can you help me?”

She reaches to your face and wipes a way a tear. “But don’t you see? You’ve been making it all day. It was inside you the whole time. You just needed to let it out.” You look down in your hand and see a report in your hand, the title page reading, “P Analysis: Good to Go.”

The goddess then gently guides towards another smaller door. The men/women bathroom symbol is displayed on the door, but when she opens it, instead of a toilet, there’s a warm soft bed. So inviting.

“I really don’t think I should,” you say to the goddess. You’re suddenly wearing your pajamas. “I’m supposed to pee in a toilet, not in bed.”

“But you’ve wanted this for so long. And this is your big chance. You can climb in and wet the bed. Right now.”

You smoothly glide over to the bed and snuggle under the sheets. The goddess is hovering over you now, murmuring into your ear. “Go ahead. Pee. It’ll feel so good. Wet. Warm. Lovely.”

Your bladder slowly starts to loosen. “Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Yes. It’s okay to be a bedwetter. You can wet the bed, wet the bed, wet the bed… wet… wet… wet… pee… pee… pee...”

Your bladder opens up and you start to pee. You feel the warm liquid soaking your pajama pants and bedsheets. You feel it pool around your body. You feel even more pee coming out, while the goddess keeps whispering encouragement into your ear. “You’re doing it! You’re wetting the bed! You’re peeing so much! Great job!”

Finally, after a blissful eternity, your flow starts to taper. You wiggle your legs in the wet spot and feel how some of it has soaked up to your chest. The angel whispers in your ear one last time, “You wet the bed. You’re a bedwetter now. It’s okay to be a bedwetter…” She kisses you lightly on the ear. You turn over to look at her, but her white light seems to have been replaced with daylight coming in your window…

 

You sit up in bed and pull back your sheets to admire your handiwork. You finally did it! After months of hypnosis tapes, of waking up at 3 and not being able to get to sleep again, you successfully wet the bed in your sleep. You give one light splash on your sodden sheets, to punctuate your success, then lie back down and reach into your pajama bottoms, to, well, reward yourself.

That was an intense dream! Too bad you can’t remember anything. Something about a soda machine?

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