Jump to content
Existing user? Sign In

Sign In



Sign Up

non-binary What do you think is your actual, psychological cause for having this fetish?


Recommended Posts

Well when I was younger like 5-13 years old my family used to always lock me into my own room 

I always had to ask if I was allowed to pee, shower or anything else 

And when they said no, then I wasn't allowed to and they told me to hold it and stop crying about it 

I think I got this fetish because of a "trauma" I got from that 

Because I love it when someone doesn't allow me to go pee or make me hold it until I wet myself 

Link to comment
  • Replies 122
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

Why do you think you're into omo? I'm pretty confident about why I'm into it: I'm autistic, but I didn't know that growing up and so I just didn't understand why people did certain things. I espe

@caedar "Also boys peeing outside behind a tree or something was seen as normal but girls didn't do it, and instead of seeing this as boys having an "advantage" I just kinda felt like boys weren'

I know (At least I think I know) my psychological cause for liking this fetish is very simple - it coincided with discovering intimacy and sexuality. My first sexual experiences were with my fema

This is something I've always wondered about for other people. I'm autistic too, though I don't know how much that factors into my fetish itself as much as how I express it. I write about it - I just published my 65th story on Literotica and right now I've released four short stories in the past two weeks. My name is on there is BubbleMonarch, and I have some embarrassing art too. 😄

Most of what I do is writing, and it allows me to play with sex, gender, and sexuality. My elders denied that being anything but straight and cisgender was even possible when I was growing up. I'm also demisexual and have never felt like I had a gender, and writing was the only place I could explore the concepts of gender and sexuality without adults or peers giving me crap for it. At first, I experimented with writing fanfiction, and wrote myself a long, rambling story with lots of omorashi-type situations that I kept a HUGE secret (you know, huge for an eleven-year-old). I wrote a lot of incomplete stories alongside my own fiction in my teens and 20's, and even might have accidentally sent a group member one of them for a college archaeology project because I saved everything as "document" like an idiot. Later, I finished that document and decided to publish it to Literotica in 2018. Four years later I have omorashi and pee fetish stories with some added fantasy stuff (like wings, hyena-like genitals, cultural practices, etc) and a lot of worldbuilding, to the point where I'm merging my omorashi with my regular fiction.

Because of my living situation and a peculiar disinclination toward romantic and sexual relationships, watersports shenanigans are mostly kept to art, writing, and video-watching for me, and I wish I could talk to more people about my writing because it's one of those things I really love doing. Writing is such a huge part of my identity and I can only share like 5% of it with half my friends and family without it being weird, because the other half wouldn't like that so many of my characters are queer. My writing teacher from my religious elementary school (whose name hilariously sounds like "Butts") would be horrified at what I'm doing with the skills and love of writing that she instilled in me when I was a but little towheaded weirdo.

For myself, I really loved running off and exploring places and secretly peeing in the corners. It came with a little mini adrenaline rush, and later I realized I enjoyed when other people needed to go too, though I always feel slightly guilty about it. It's why I love writing - I can control the situation, and no one's feelings get hurt. Well...except for all the times I've dunked on my ex subtly in my smut. I know they read them too, because they'll get a one-star rating a day or two after it's published. I'm also nice to the people in my fiction - my stories usually end with their partners helping them clean up and getting food.

Link to comment

This is apparently a suuuuuuuper hot topic in psychological and neurological circles. Some people think it might be more of a neurological thing (from the physical makeup of your nervous system), to trauma, to even just completely healthy early sexual experiences. Personally, I like to think there's no one cause for kinks and that everyone is different.

Personally, I wonder if kinks explicitly evolved in early sexually-reproducing animals as a kind of sexual selection (people who had kinks were more likely to try and have sex because they would have more things to be attracted to). Ultimately, though, I kind of worry that if it's caused by something like trauma or neurodivergence, then that would make people think it's not "normal", when in reality, kinks like these are perfectly healthy.

Link to comment

I think that there are a lot of potential factors that contributed psychologically to me having this kink. (I don't think this is the case for everyone though; some people just like it because they like it, and some people don't discover that it's even a thing for them until later on in life.)

I think the main thing though, was being constantly anxious when I was younger, being sent mixed messages all the time by my parents (who also have anxiety), and as a result of both of those things, feeling terrified to make my own decisions for fear that I would do something wrong and then be disappointing them. And so, the idea of gradually having more and more responsibilities was scary to me, and I felt like I was pushed into certain milestones before I was ready. That I just had to deal with it, grin and bear it, no matter what. And if I failed to do so, then it was my fault and I'd feel like a bad person. 

The idea of wetting and accidents specifically was appealing to me because it could be this like, huge mess you were making, and it wouldn't be your fault, and someone would clean you up and take care of you and wouldn't have all these heavy expectations of you. 

 

Link to comment
14 minutes ago, caedar said:

@petitewonderTotally makes sense. Feels akin to my explanation of 'small child misunderstanding the power dynamics of peeing' and getting those wires crossed with sexuality somewhere down the line.

Agreed!  I'm sure that for me, the association between the sensations from a full bladder and sex developed in my early teens when I used masturbation as a means to hold my pee longer.

Link to comment
On 8/27/2022 at 10:49 PM, DesperateJill said:

I do think that there is something to that because I think that desperation is a very gendered thing and mostly a feminine or female thing. Again there are some people who are attracted to male desperation but to me desperation has always seemed like more of a feminine thing. And one guy told me he thought that I was more feminine after I had my experience of desperation at my job because somehow being in that situation is just very specifically female and everything like that. So I do agree that several poses like that do just come across as very feminine and maybe that is why more men are attracted to desperate women then there are straight women attracted to desperate men as came up in another thread not that long ago. Also perhaps why more lesbians like myself seem to be into this particular fetish.

@DesperateJill
You are sharing desperation with your co workers? - that's awesome 😀

I thought about it the last couple of days, maybe it's feminine because guys always have a "last option"? I know this in general has been discussed so many time on this forum about guys and girls, anyhow, guys can always "pull it out", where woman NEEDS to find a toilet, for many it's not an option to go anywhere else. A toilet is a hard requirement, the only other option is wetting. That's probably what makes it more attractive (to some), it's seems less urgent when it's a guy because there always is another option.

Which reminds me of a episode back when I was driving a cab. My car was full, mixed girls and guys, and I remember this guy, he sat on the front seat. He had to piss so bad, we had no option but to continue to their destination, because it was kind of urban, and you simply don't stop to piss in the street. Anyhow, when I turned in to the drive way, he unbuttoned his pants. As soon as I pulled in to the driveway of the house, he opened the door, before I even had brought the car to a stop. He pissed right at that spot, like half a meter from the car. as soon as he got out he started peeing. Again he did not seem vulnerable, or exposed or anything. He simply just turned his back to the car and he had all the privacy he'd need. Imagine that being a girl? She would be way more exposed, and it would probably had been hard for her. 

After this I remember he was just like: "come on you guys.. what are you waiting for?" Like he did not care at all.

 

Link to comment

@potte

"I thought about it the last couple of days, maybe it's feminine because guys always have a "last option"? I know this in general has been discussed so many time on this forum about guys and girls, anyhow, guys can always "pull it out", where woman NEEDS to find a toilet, for many it's not an option to go anywhere else. A toilet is a hard requirement, the only other option is wetting. That's probably what makes it more attractive (to some), it's seems less urgent when it's a guy because there always is another option.

Which reminds me of a episode back when I was driving a cab. My car was full, mixed girls and guys, and I remember this guy, he sat on the front seat. He had to piss so bad, we had no option but to continue to their destination, because it was kind of urban, and you simply don't stop to piss in the street. Anyhow, when I turned in to the drive way, he unbuttoned his pants. As soon as I pulled in to the driveway of the house, he opened the door, before I even had brought the car to a stop. He pissed right at that spot, like half a meter from the car. as soon as he got out he started peeing. Again he did not seem vulnerable, or exposed or anything. He simply just turned his back to the car and he had all the privacy he'd need. Imagine that being a girl? She would be way more exposed, and it would probably had been hard for her. 

After this I remember he was just like: "come on you guys.. what are you waiting for?" Like he did not care at all."

I think that actually is a big part of it yes. While I realize a guy is not going to just whip it out in the middle of a city street or someplace really visible and obvious I still think that guys generally have that option to just whip it out and relieved themselves in a relatively discreet manner in a way that women simply would not be able to do without exposing themselves and leaving them very vulnerable and being very obvious what they were doing. I mean even if a guy is obvious what he is doing if he has his back turned he is not exposing himself to anybody where as a woman would pretty much have to get half naked just to relieve herself in a similar manner which is why it simply doesn't happen all that often.


I have also wondered if there is sort of a dominance submission thing going along with this. A man being able to relieve himself while a woman meekly holds on for her bladder hoping to find some place private to relieve herself desperately while holding on and holding back all of that pressure in a form of self denial while a man is just able to relieve himself in a really aggressive and forceful manner I think does create a power dynamic.


And I think that on the other side when a woman is willing to pee outside like a guy like that a lot of people find that exciting simply because it's a reversal of the gender norm where the woman is actively being dominant and not letting gender roles dictate her situation and forcing her to keep holding.


So yeah I do think that there definitely is a dominance/submission and masculine/feminine thing going on when it comes to going to the bathroom and I think like any highly gendered behavior that many people of the opposite sex or the same sex will find these things attractive. Some people are attracted to masculine and dominant and some people are attracted to feminine and submissive and some people are attracted to dominant feminine and submissive masculine and all these different reversals of the gender norms. But I think that everybody has one particular set up that tends to excite them more than others, sometimes multiple different ones as well.


I can only speak for myself but if a guy knew was peeing forcefully and discreetly and I was sitting there holding on for dear life to me that would almost seem like a power play. On the one hand he's just relieving himself and probably doesn't think anything of it but it's also stating clearly I am marking my territory, I am in the dominant position because I can relieve myself, and you are sort of in the submissive position because you have to go on holding.

Link to comment
39 minutes ago, DesperateJill said:

I think that actually is a big part of it yes. While I realize a guy is not going to just whip it out in the middle of a city street or someplace really visible and obvious I still think that guys generally have that option to just whip it out and relieved themselves in a relatively discreet manner in a way that women simply would not be able to do without exposing themselves and leaving them very vulnerable and being very obvious what they were doing. I mean even if a guy is obvious what he is doing if he has his back turned he is not exposing himself to anybody where as a woman would pretty much have to get half naked just to relieve herself in a similar manner which is why it simply doesn't happen all that often.


I have also wondered if there is sort of a dominance submission thing going along with this. A man being able to relieve himself while a woman meekly holds on for her bladder hoping to find some place private to relieve herself desperately while holding on and holding back all of that pressure in a form of self denial while a man is just able to relieve himself in a really aggressive and forceful manner I think does create a power dynamic.


And I think that on the other side when a woman is willing to pee outside like a guy like that a lot of people find that exciting simply because it's a reversal of the gender norm where the woman is actively being dominant and not letting gender roles dictate her situation and forcing her to keep holding.


So yeah I do think that there definitely is a dominance/submission and masculine/feminine thing going on when it comes to going to the bathroom and I think like any highly gendered behavior that many people of the opposite sex or the same sex will find these things attractive. Some people are attracted to masculine and dominant and some people are attracted to feminine and submissive and some people are attracted to dominant feminine and submissive masculine and all these different reversals of the gender norms. But I think that everybody has one particular set up that tends to excite them more than others, sometimes multiple different ones as well.


I can only speak for myself but if a guy knew was peeing forcefully and discreetly and I was sitting there holding on for dear life to me that would almost seem like a power play. On the one hand he's just relieving himself and probably doesn't think anything of it but it's also stating clearly I am marking my territory, I am in the dominant position because I can relieve myself, and you are sort of in the submissive position because you have to go on holding.

Well some does that.. I had a delivery guy at my old job, pretty much just piss in the middle of parking lot behind his truck. Some guys are not shy at all, I am on the other hand. I avoid public urination to the extent that I am able to.

On my old job I was driving with a collogue for about 4 hours unfortunately he was driving. The first stop we did to get coffee, had restrooms where you have to pay. Which is NOT normal in my country, it's kind of looked down upon as most people are of the belief that you should be able to use a bathroom for free. Which on a sidenote is also the law in my country in fact. The law clearly states that you may not leave a person in a humiliating situation, which basically means that if you go in to a random shop and tell that you need to go, they actually have to let you use their personel bathroom. Anyhow that law is rarely used, normally only when you have a kid with you who might not be able to hold it. To get back on track, I did have to pee at the reststop, but did not want to pay(principle, stupid I know) and I did not want to let my collogue know that I had to go. We just had coffee and went on. We then reached out destination, and my collogue suggested that we find a supermarket to get some lunch so we did. And I had to piss SO bad. I think it's the most desperate I have ever been. The supermarked had no toilet, and I still did not want to let him know that I was dying for a piss. Then we went back to the car with our lunch, he acted like nothing. I thought how does he not have to pee??? When I sat back down in the car I felt that no.. this is not going to work. Again, I did not want to come across desperate, I tried to stay cool, you know like : "Since there is a gasstation right there, well I think I could go for a quick whiz", and he was like "yeah-yeah I could do with that too". 
Not for the better, we could not find the toilet, and there was a que at the counter. He went directly out and hid behind a tree and took a piss. I couldn't even though pain sat in 30 mins ago. I waited and got the directions to the toilet.

 

But the essence is, why didn't any of us want to simply say I have to pee? I sure think it's because it seems feminine.

I think you are absolutely right about a Sub-Dom thing to it for many. I know for certain that there is not for me, sub/dom stuff never worked out for me. But I do understand why. Speaking of that I once saw a vid on thisvid, that is exactly what you just described. In short it's a desperate girl doing a desperate pee dance, it is obvious that she needs to go bad! Then while she is holding it, a guy pisses on her while she is desperate, in other words, he wets her. So wetting with no relief. Even though it's not my thing, I found it unbelievably hot!!

While writing this, another thought came up on the topic. I don't know if it fits exactly into the male/female aspect but still. Having seen thousands of females peeing in videos over the last 17 years, something I noticed, every girl peeing outside a toilet, has her own unique style, or her own unique way of solving the problem. That's why it seems so intimate and private, compared to men. I mean for men there is one way of doing it, I don't even need to describe it. And that is even the same as if he is going in the toilet in most cases. 
For girls however even after seeing SO many vids, every time you come across a new actress, her way often differs ever so slightly from all the others.

Just to mention a few, Some squat legs open, some squats legs closed. few can stand like a guy, others can shoot the stream backwards. Some strip naked from the waist down, others keeps the panties on, pulling them out of the way while going(incredible seen on video). I could go on and on and on, there is so many variations. Which makes it even more private and intimate that simply seeing the genitalia.        

Link to comment

I can pretty much pinpoint where it all started. The overall theme got mixed in with my first female friend. I was in preschool and was good friends with a girl that would always hold it instead of wanting to give up her toy to take a break. She would just keep her legs crossed until she had an accident and would always tell me to do the same if I told her that I needed to stop and take a break myself. And then it just went from there.

Link to comment

@potte

"But the essence is, why didn't any of us want to simply say I have to pee? I sure think it's because it seems feminine."

Personally I don't get this, maybe because I'm a woman who doesn't be to shy about the fact when I want the bathroom and quite insistent on it, but the way guys would just hold on when they could easily be relieving themselves doesn't really make sense to me from my perspective. I don't get this whole macho I have to be stoic and hold the attitude, women hold because they don't really have much of a option but I think the guys when they can relieve themselves I would always be baffled as to why they don't do so simply out of a stubborn sense of pride. I'd rather admit that I need to go to the bathroom and get relief right away than hold out of a matter of pride.
Although I will hold out of necessity and will probably try not to draw attention to the fact that I have to go if I know that relief is not imminent.

"I think you are absolutely right about a Sub-Dom thing to it for many. I know for certain that there is not for me, sub/dom stuff never worked out for me. But I do understand why. Speaking of that I once saw a vid on thisvid, that is exactly what you just described. In short it's a desperate girl doing a desperate pee dance, it is obvious that she needs to go bad! Then while she is holding it, a guy pisses on her while she is desperate, in other words, he wets her. So wetting with no relief. Even though it's not my thing, I found it unbelievably hot!!"

I still think even if the people don't have a particular fetish but some kind of power dynamic still exists. In a situation where a woman is holding it and a guy is peeing he is almost sort of asserting his dominance, almost like rubbing it in the fact that he gets to go. It may not be as bad as actually being peed upon while you are desperate but it still comes across as sort of a power-play move. I mean I probably only see it that way because I have the fetish, but I think even a non-fetish situation the empty bladder full bladder dynamic does create some type of a power structure even when it's not intentional.


Like when I was at my job and the guys were peeing in the woods while the women were holding it they probably weren't thinking anything of it in all honesty, but just the fact that they were doing that gives you sort of like a submissive feeling, like they are getting to relieve themselves and we are not so that puts them in control of the situation.

"While writing this, another thought came up on the topic. I don't know if it fits exactly into the male/female aspect but still. Having seen thousands of females peeing in videos over the last 17 years, something I noticed, every girl peeing outside a toilet, has her own unique style, or her own unique way of solving the problem. That's why it seems so intimate and private, compared to men. I mean for men there is one way of doing it, I don't even need to describe it. And that is even the same as if he is going in the toilet in most cases. 
For girls however even after seeing SO many vids, every time you come across a new actress, her way often differs ever so slightly from all the others.

Just to mention a few, Some squat legs open, some squats legs closed. few can stand like a guy, others can shoot the stream backwards. Some strip naked from the waist down, others keeps the panties on, pulling them out of the way while going(incredible seen on video). I could go on and on and on, there is so many variations. Which makes it even more private and intimate that simply seeing the genitalia."

I haven't thought about it specifically like that but you are right, when a guy keys it's pretty much always the same, he whips it out stands and just pisses straightforward. With a woman you have to do all sorts of complicated maneuvering just to relieve yourself. Like I said in numerous posts it really is an amazing thing just how that little extra tubing that men can use day makes everything so much less complicated, it really is astonishing.


I am often made the analogy that men peeing is like having a hose that you can spray everywhere, whereas women peeing it's like you have a watering can between your legs and in order to aim it you have to pretty much maneuver your whole body. A guy can maneuver the hose, but the woman has to do all sorts of gymnastics to move her body in a way that she can relieve herself without pissing all over herself, and I think that most people, myself included, don't have that level of gymnastic ability!

Link to comment

I really wish I knew, but this isn't a topic I feel comfortable discussing with a professional . I mean "so Dr. I like the feeling of holding my pee past getting really desperate , and wetting my pants. I find watching, or having a female do the same with me, or just watching /reading about them  doing it sexually arousing ", would be really awkward.

That said I do have a couple of theories. Part of it I think is  partially genetic, or part nature and part nurture.  Perhaps I am reading my own feelings into it, and without going into detail here, I strongly believe some close relatives share this fetish. My parents were very strict God help us if we showed signs of desperation, let alone wet our pants. Urination was in the toilet period full stop. While waiting control yourself. I also went to Catholic school, and the nuns were very strict. Bathroom breaks were limited, and asking to be excused was a big awkward embarrassing production. And that was just getting past the teacher. Because of the way the school was laid out we had to walk past the principles office to get to the restroom, and she really gave the students what for, and you should be able to control yourself.  She was harsh like we were in trouble .I was always pee shy and afraid to ask, but so were most kids, because of the hassle. So we held it to the point we were risking wetting our pants. A few girls did. While I didn't , I came very, very close. I say all this thinking my fetish, that I might have been predisposed to anyway, was exacerbated initially as a form of rebellion. 

I noticed a serious interest in peeing, especially desperate girls about age 6, way before I knew anything about sex.

As I have stated previously the sensation at the tip of my penis when my pee is about to come out involentarly is very similar to the feeling just before I ejaculate. I even use the same muscles to try to hold off cuming for maximum enjoyment. The  only difference is obviously the hot tingling, electric jolts of pleasure before ejaculating replaces the bladder and penis pressure of needing to pee badly.

Link to comment

@wettingman

"I also went to Catholic school, and the nuns were very strict. Bathroom breaks were limited, and asking to be excused was a big awkward embarrassing production. And that was just getting past the teacher. Because of the way the school was laid out we had to walk past the principles office to get to the restroom, and she really gave the students what for, and you should be able to control yourself."

I find that interesting because my parents went to Catholic school or at least my mom and her sisters did and they rarely ever use public bathrooms and seemed to go to the bathroom infrequently and I wonder if that had something to do with being raised in Catholic school as they told me that it was a frequently abusive environment, in fact friends I know who went to Catholic school say the similar thing, so maybe things haven't changed in the last couple of decades.


I don't think it's genetic though because although the people in my family hold it I don't think that they get any pleasure from it, they just find that using public bathrooms is really gross to them. I very sincerely doubt that they have any kinks whatsoever. When it comes to fetishes I tend to think that sexual orientation and gender identity are pretty hardwired into the brain but specific sexual likes and fetishes I think are much more nurture. As always it's a combination of both things but I definitely think that it seems like most people who have this fetish can point to experiences that were formative in it. If it was simply genetic and hardwired in the brain I feel that most likely wouldn't be the case.

Link to comment

For me, it started unknowingly. The school i went to(all girls), madams were very strict, and being a member of a tropical country, i used to keep up my hydration level okay, and as a result, you can imagine, tolerating the primary level of desperation was quite common for me! Plus the physical fact that a full bladder creates more pressure on the g spot was also a valid causation to relate this sensation with something sexual. But later on, in my adolescence, probably i had developed some masochistic fantasies, these 'being unable to go', 'told to hold' etc. Categories nicely came under this umbrella of 'being submissive'.

Link to comment
20 hours ago, Lapis Lazuli said:

This is apparently a suuuuuuuper hot topic in psychological and neurological circles. Some people think it might be more of a neurological thing (from the physical makeup of your nervous system), to trauma, to even just completely healthy early sexual experiences. Personally, I like to think there's no one cause for kinks and that everyone is different.

Personally, I wonder if kinks explicitly evolved in early sexually-reproducing animals as a kind of sexual selection (people who had kinks were more likely to try and have sex because they would have more things to be attracted to). Ultimately, though, I kind of worry that if it's caused by something like trauma or neurodivergence, then that would make people think it's not "normal", when in reality, kinks like these are perfectly healthy.

Yeah, mine is trauma-related but it isn't for plenty of people.  Feeling pressure on your body, hiding the secret that you really have to pee, talking to people who have no idea you're in pain or discomfort, all of these seem to share elements with plenty of fetishes.  Also, my longest running and most consistent fetish heterosexually (wetlook) is NOT from trauma, at least not directly.

Link to comment
7 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

@wettingman

 

I find that interesting because my parents went to Catholic school or at least my mom and her sisters did and they rarely ever use public bathrooms and seemed to go to the bathroom infrequently and I wonder if that had something to do with being raised in Catholic school as they told me that it was a frequently abusive environment, in fact friends I know who went to Catholic school say the similar thing, so maybe things haven't changed in the last couple of decades.


I don't think it's genetic though because although the people in my family hold it I don't think that they get any pleasure from it, they just find that using public bathrooms is really gross to them. I very sincerely doubt that they have any kinks whatsoever. 

My experience with Catholic school was way back in the early to.mid sixties.

I don't want to get to specific about close family members, but I have heard comments indicating that it was not just about holding their pee because they didn't like public restrooms, or any other reason. Yes, I could be putting my proclivities into it but my take on some hints was they enjoyed it.

All this said ,though I have given it much thought and am putting out what I came up with, I really don't know what caused my fetish .

I am eternally grateful for the internet for opening this world to me. Until I discoved some rudimentary site about pee holdong and pants wetting about 25 years ago I thought I was some kind of freek that got aroused when observing or thinking about pee. 

Now even though I am 70 I am just still enjoying it.

 

Edited by wettingman (see edit history)
Link to comment

A lot of folks have already mentioned a couple of variations on the "adult kinks are derived from earlier trauma" theory and there's probably some merit to it, in a sort of "coming back to an old enemy and defeating it" kind of way. I haven't had much luck finding professionally documented case studies, for all the reasons you would expect, but there's many anonymous firsthand accounts out there; I remember finding a text file written by a guy who was scared to death of balloons in his childhood, but as an adult blowing up a balloon was the fastest and easiest way to get an erection. (Which he mentioned required a fair amount of discussion with his partners beforehand.)

The social and cultural taboo probably ties directly into that trauma aspect, now that I think about it, especially given all the anecdotes about ridicule and shame and punishments for the apparently unforgivable crime of having a human body. I seem to recall something about engaging in forbidden acts as a self-reinforcing power move in a psych book called Sadomasochism, by Dr. Susanne Schad-Somers, but it's been almost two decades since I read the thing in a library and I only recently (within the last two months, oddly enough) got a copy of my own. This might be a good time to refresh my memory.

On the other hand... there's an old joke about three engineers arguing if God is also an engineer, and if so, what kind. The mechanical engineers points to the skeleton and musculature of the human body as proof of his specialty, the electrical engineer does the same thing with the brain and nervous system, and the punchline is that the civil engineer says "Who else would run a sewage line through a recreational area?" It is entirely possible that this is exactly what happens to many of us, with signals getting crossed early on in our development when our brains are still trying to make sense of this crazy mixed up world.

I can't think of any specific instances that would serve as a catalyst, unless it was so traumatizing that I repressed it completely, in which case it would certainly leave other symptoms and scars, so I think my omo-based fetishes are just hardware short circuits that got out of hand. This would mesh with what a lot of people have said about being on the ND spectrum, since the brain is literally wired differently from what is considered "standard" by medical authorities. (I have some symptoms that resemble those that correspond to ADHD Inattentive Subtype, but no official diagnosis; the American Mental Health Care system and I are not on speaking terms.) I am 80% sure that my power dynamic based kinks all stem from emotional neglect and abusive authority figures in my youth, and those HAVE gotten tangled together into a knot that not even Alexander the Great could cut.

Link to comment

I am an autistic transwoman with bpd and I honestly feel like the autism alone is a big factor to why I like it so much. I've seen a crazy amount of omo fans on here that are Autistic, my GF is also ASD and loves omo too. I personally believe it is something sensory related to why lots of us Autists find such intense pleasure from a bursting bladder and losing control. It isn't easy to explain, i guess it just feels so freeing to let go of all this pressure in you. Its very soothing and it calms me down a lot, as someone who stresses like crazy all the time 😊

Link to comment

Interesting thread! I've thought about this a lot, but I don't feel like I know the answer at all, really.

I know that I was interested in watching girls hold pee and talk about holding pee from an early age, maybe 6 or 7. Back when all the other kids were playing cooties and running away from girls, I was always interested in talking to girls, playing with girls, and so on. I've always been a sensitive kid and I mostly just got along better with girls.

I also knew from an early age that there was something "abnormal" about it in most people's eyes, and I was evasive about it. I also remember a couple occasions when my mom had to pee but had to hold it, and I remember feeling really bad for her, like some kind of contact suffering. It was actually very emotionally distressing for me, I was having panic attacks (I didn't know that's what they were at the time) and obsessively thinking about it and trying to manipulate the situation so she could go.

Fast forward a few years to early adolescence, and I had a girlfriend who had a habit of holding it, though not for huge periods of time in general. But she liked the power of it. And with her, like with my mom, I got that experience of 'contact suffering' from watching her; but it also became sexually charged. For most of my teenage years It sat in a complex, mixed space between something I felt guilty about, felt contact suffering from, and enjoyed immensely.

When I was 19 I had a girlfriend who was a weirdo herself, but she reacted positively to my sexual interests. She didn't really feel comfortable exploring it with me (plus she had the bladder of a gnat, which is not my fetish); but she thought it was cute that I liked it and she would ham it up for me, or point out other girls who had to pee occasionally. She made me feel accepted in that way, and that completed the transition of my fetish from something I felt negatively about, to something I embraced and felt good about (at least for myself). However even then, I still wrestled with a huge amount of shame, I didn't want to tell anyone and I felt bad that it existed, even though I mostly couldn't get off without it.

Later on, when dating my wife, I opened up to her early about my fetish, and she was intrigued and very accepting. It took some time before she was interested in exploring it with me, but when she did it was lovely... she was very generous with me emotionally, and really knew how to 'ham it up'. She also was blessed with a large bladder and a commitment to doing things as thoroughly as possible, which resulted in some fantastic experiences. Eventually I got to the point (not that long ago really) where I fully embraced my desires, and I don't feel guilty about them at all. Times with her were most of the best sexual experiences in my life. Sadly, the trust between us has mostly fallen apart over our two decades together and we're now just struggling to rebuild from that, with still no real idea of where it's going to go... but I digress.

I think, as a prior poster suggested, a person's sexuality may sometimes be a form of redemption arc for traumatic experiences earlier in life. I had plenty of trauma growing up. My mother was a teen mom who was almost completely emotionally unavailable, my biological father beat my mother, my stepfather was a bully with no self control and occasionally beat me; then her next boyfriend after that was a control freak who ultimately went to jail as a pedophile (not toward me; he preferred little girls and I was way too old. But just as a little indicator of how monumentally bad my mother's judgment was...). I'm not diagnosed ASD but I am diagnosed ADHD, and I do seem to have a number of weird and wonderful traits... like I had incredibly good vision and hearing (before I got older and things started falling apart), and ridiculously good reflexes and balance, but I am an emotional wreck, have zero attention span for most activities, and I get random body spasms that cause me to drop things or ruin art. I can work things out from first principles that most people have trouble with (like computer programming or the lighter aspects of quantum physics), but I can't remember a thing to save my goddamn life (like what was that girl's name that I thought was super friendly and cute, and I really wish I could ask her out?)

Yeah... I guess my point is, I might line up with the neurodivergent concept a bit; and I definitely line up with the trauma concept, although I don't have a specific trauma that equates with pee holding. I was mildly shy-bladder for a while as a teen, but I got over it fairly easily.

So I guess I don't really know?

Link to comment

@wettingman

"My experience with Catholic school was way back in the early to.mid sixties.

I don't want to get to specific about close family members, but I have heard comments indicating that it was not just about holding their pee because they didn't like public restrooms, or any other reason. Yes, I could be putting my proclivities into it but my take on some hints was they enjoyed it"

Yeah that was the same time period in which my parents were in Catholic school or my mom and her sisters were so you probably had a similar experience to them. In their case though I don't really think that they enjoyed it, I think that they just were really repressed about bodily functions and most things. A lot of really strict religious rate places there is that whole repression of the idea that the genitals are dirty and that bodily functions are unholy and all this other stuff and I think that that repression drives a lot of it. There is a ton of stuff about bodily fluids being unclean and unholy in the Bible.


Also interesting is that my family was very germophobic about using toilets and they are also very conservative and they have found that there is a link between fear of contamination & impurity and strong conservative attitudes that produce uptight feelings so I definitely think that that is the case with my family. There is that idea that going to the bathroom is something that has to be controlled that is something dirty and something that you shouldn't really be doing at all even though that's ridiculous to believe since a biological fact that everybody has to go to the bathroom.

@DrBorderline

"This would mesh with what a lot of people have said about being on the ND spectrum, since the brain is literally wired differently from what is considered "standard" by medical authorities. (I have some symptoms that resemble those that correspond to ADHD Inattentive Subtype, but no official diagnosis; the American Mental Health Care system and I are not on speaking terms.)"

I also had ADHD when I was a child and was put on Ritalin for it and I think that that drove a lot of my nervous behavior such as how I would go to the bathroom constantly, and even now still use the bathroom whenever I go someplace, which I often get comments on. When I was in school I would sometimes go to the bathroom for like 45 minutes at a time trying to get like every last drop out so I think that these things do tend to make you obsessed with bodily functions and things like control. The brain simply is just wired differently.


Looking back though I think that they were probably earlier signs of autistic traits but when I went to school in the early 90s it was not as commonly diagnosed as it is today, especially for girls. I am pretty much self diagnosed as bad as I really never formally got diagnosed and I tend to avoid psychiatric treatment due to bad experiences in the past.

@Cantholdit92

"I am an autistic transwoman with bpd and I honestly feel like the autism alone is a big factor to why I like it so much. I've seen a crazy amount of omo fans on here that are Autistic, my GF is also ASD and loves omo too. I personally believe it is something sensory related to why lots of us Autists find such intense pleasure from a bursting bladder and losing control. It isn't easy to explain, i guess it just feels so freeing to let go of all this pressure in you. Its very soothing and it calms me down a lot, as someone who stresses like crazy all the time"

I definitely think that there is a link to that because this website I can say definitely has a disproportionate number of trans, LGBT and neuro-divergent individuals compared to the general population, as in the general population that is only a small percentage but here seems to be pretty common or maybe even a majority honestly.


And I have read a lot about this issue and it does seem that there is a strong overlap between trans or homosexual identity and orientation and autistic traits. I remember reading somewhere that autistic people were 6 to 7 times as more likely to be LGBT or particularly trans. Given the brain scans of transgender and homosexual people have revealed that their brains more typically resembled the sex they identify as rather than their biological sex that does suggest that these feelings are the result of the brain being wired differently, which to me makes perfect sense, if you are different from the typical cis hetero neuro-typical norm of the population that would make sense that all of these things have something to do with the brain being wired differently.


I had also heard a theory that some people feel that transgender feelings are caused by the brain having a body map of one sex that is in conflict with the biological sex. So I could understand how that would also probably produce a fascination with things such as the genitals and urination because if your brain maps say I am supposed to have a vagina when you have a penis you probably would find that extremely incongruent and probably wonder more about what it's like for the opposite sex in regards to going to the bathroom. I never wanted a penis or found them attractive but when I was younger I certainly noticed very much the differences between the sexes especially in regards to bodily functions, and again I think that that has to do with the wiring of the brain.

 

Link to comment
23 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

@potte

"But the essence is, why didn't any of us want to simply say I have to pee? I sure think it's because it seems feminine."

Personally I don't get this, maybe because I'm a woman who doesn't be to shy about the fact when I want the bathroom and quite insistent on it, but the way guys would just hold on when they could easily be relieving themselves doesn't really make sense to me from my perspective. I don't get this whole macho I have to be stoic and hold the attitude, women hold because they don't really have much of a option but I think the guys when they can relieve themselves I would always be baffled as to why they don't do so simply out of a stubborn sense of pride. I'd rather admit that I need to go to the bathroom and get relief right away than hold out of a matter of pride.
Although I will hold out of necessity and will probably try not to draw attention to the fact that I have to go if I know that relief is not imminent.

"I think you are absolutely right about a Sub-Dom thing to it for many. I know for certain that there is not for me, sub/dom stuff never worked out for me. But I do understand why. Speaking of that I once saw a vid on thisvid, that is exactly what you just described. In short it's a desperate girl doing a desperate pee dance, it is obvious that she needs to go bad! Then while she is holding it, a guy pisses on her while she is desperate, in other words, he wets her. So wetting with no relief. Even though it's not my thing, I found it unbelievably hot!!"

I still think even if the people don't have a particular fetish but some kind of power dynamic still exists. In a situation where a woman is holding it and a guy is peeing he is almost sort of asserting his dominance, almost like rubbing it in the fact that he gets to go. It may not be as bad as actually being peed upon while you are desperate but it still comes across as sort of a power-play move. I mean I probably only see it that way because I have the fetish, but I think even a non-fetish situation the empty bladder full bladder dynamic does create some type of a power structure even when it's not intentional.


Like when I was at my job and the guys were peeing in the woods while the women were holding it they probably weren't thinking anything of it in all honesty, but just the fact that they were doing that gives you sort of like a submissive feeling, like they are getting to relieve themselves and we are not so that puts them in control of the situation.

"While writing this, another thought came up on the topic. I don't know if it fits exactly into the male/female aspect but still. Having seen thousands of females peeing in videos over the last 17 years, something I noticed, every girl peeing outside a toilet, has her own unique style, or her own unique way of solving the problem. That's why it seems so intimate and private, compared to men. I mean for men there is one way of doing it, I don't even need to describe it. And that is even the same as if he is going in the toilet in most cases. 
For girls however even after seeing SO many vids, every time you come across a new actress, her way often differs ever so slightly from all the others.

Just to mention a few, Some squat legs open, some squats legs closed. few can stand like a guy, others can shoot the stream backwards. Some strip naked from the waist down, others keeps the panties on, pulling them out of the way while going(incredible seen on video). I could go on and on and on, there is so many variations. Which makes it even more private and intimate that simply seeing the genitalia."

I haven't thought about it specifically like that but you are right, when a guy keys it's pretty much always the same, he whips it out stands and just pisses straightforward. With a woman you have to do all sorts of complicated maneuvering just to relieve yourself. Like I said in numerous posts it really is an amazing thing just how that little extra tubing that men can use day makes everything so much less complicated, it really is astonishing.


I am often made the analogy that men peeing is like having a hose that you can spray everywhere, whereas women peeing it's like you have a watering can between your legs and in order to aim it you have to pretty much maneuver your whole body. A guy can maneuver the hose, but the woman has to do all sorts of gymnastics to move her body in a way that she can relieve herself without pissing all over herself, and I think that most people, myself included, don't have that level of gymnastic ability!

For me it just does not seem right. I have always kind of learned to ignore my feelings, both physical and psychological.(And no, not childhood trauma, I had a great childhood). It's the way I was raised, I was never made to hold it or anything, but I was learned that somethings you just have to endure. So that's my mentality. In school one would not use the toilet, so that probably adds to that. I can't speak for other guys but that's how I feel.

Yes, clearly there is some power dynamic to it fetish or not. 

There is little difference among men, only difference I've heard about is the form of the foreskin. Outside it makes little difference, but when standing at the toilet, sometimes it can get messy for some, due to the fact that some has skin in the way distorting the stream. It even makes some men sit down! Again outside - no issue.

Gymnastics yes... indeed, I once tried for fun to squat, I was not able to go, it was so damn hard to stay in the position. I had to revert to a semi squat. To add to that for women, some also has to do some manipulating of "that area" depending on their anatomy. 
So yeah astonishing what a little tube can do. 

Link to comment

@potte

"For me it just does not seem right. I have always kind of learned to ignore my feelings, both physical and psychological.(And no, not childhood trauma, I had a great childhood). It's the way I was raised, I was never made to hold it or anything, but I was learned that somethings you just have to endure. So that's my mentality. In school one would not use the toilet, so that probably adds to that. I can't speak for other guys but that's how I feel."

I was kind of opposite the way my family sort of raise me as they pretty much never wanted to use public bathrooms and they thought that it was weird that I did all the time. They never forbid me from using a public bathroom but if it wasn't convenient to go or if there wasn't a toilet available it was understood that I would hold it. It was perfectly fine for the boys to pee outside or anything like that but I was to hold it until I got to a toilet. But I also think that some of this comes with having a big bladder versus a small bladder. Some people simply wouldn't be able to go all day without a bathroom at school.

"Yes, clearly there is some power dynamic to it fetish or not."

Yes I do find the psychology and sociology or whatever you would call it behind this endlessly fascinating about how people behave in groups when they have to go to the bathroom versus not. In most cases it's a situation where the men are in a dominant control of the situation and able to relieve themselves while the women are supposed to keep on holding it until it's convenient for everybody. But even in groups where there are women who got to go to the bathroom and women who did and it's interesting to see the interactions between these people.


Like I wrote a story based on my experience that I expanded into a novella that I have to get around to publishing called The Bathroom War on the Tour where you had this tour group full of several buses and where the last bus didn't arrive until a half hour later and there was no time to use the bathroom before the tour began. So basically you had a case where after a four hour bus ride you probably had like about 120 people on the tour or somewhere in that neighborhood and all of the guys and most of the women got to go but there were probably about 15 or 20 women or more who simply did not get a chance to go when they were just expected to hold it over the next hour and it was interesting how all of the women who didn't get to go sort of group together with the other women who didn't get to go and the rest of the group was completely indifferent to the fact that these women had to pee desperately bad, so there was sort of like a pecking order situation. It really was fascinating to experience, and I have to admit if I were in the group that did get to go to the bathroom I probably wouldn't have even remembered it at all!

"There is little difference among men, only difference I've heard about is the form of the foreskin. Outside it makes little difference, but when standing at the toilet, sometimes it can get messy for some, due to the fact that some has skin in the way distorting the stream. It even makes some men sit down! Again outside - no issue.

Gymnastics yes... indeed, I once tried for fun to squat, I was not able to go, it was so damn hard to stay in the position. I had to revert to a semi squat. To add to that for women, some also has to do some manipulating of "that area" depending on their anatomy. 
So yeah astonishing what a little tube can do."

Yes I have never been able to squat without falling over backwards. I don't know how people manage to squat in a position like that and manipulate their genitals to peeing, to me it just seems like an impossible task. But going along with some comments earlier about being brain wired differently when I was younger I was given something called Occupational Therapy because I had poor motor skills, so someone like that probably would never be able to master squatting. The fact that some people are able to do that is an astonishing thing to me because I couldn't do it if my life depended on it! I don't know how women in countries with squat toilets managed to adapt to it.

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...