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For the male desperation fans, the Saga of Gordie:

Gordie was a brawny fellow,
Fair of face with temper mellow.
His one weakness, some did think
Was his fondness for the drink.

Every night he took a trip
To the pub for hearty nip.
Pints he chugged, and while he sat
On his stool, with all he'd chat.

'Bout eleven, more or less,
He would stand and then confess
"That's enough for this fine night.
I've got work at morning's light."

Off to his small room he'd wend,
Pausing first, you can depend,
For a massive, beery piss,
Giving him uncommon bliss.

Then in Morpheus' lap he'd bide,
Sleeping until morningtide.
Up and off to work he'd go,
Whether heat or rain or snow.

'T'was the middle of September,
P'raps October, few remember,
But on one autumnal date
Gordie did miscalculate.

It began as any other,
He downed pint, and then another,
While he talked and joked and laughed,
Hardly counting what he'd quaffed.

Not surprisingly, he felt
Growing pressure 'neath his belt.
Just the usual sensation
Telling need for urination.

Always Gordie did ignore
Signals from his lower core,
For he could hold quite a bit
In his body strong and fit.

When, in time, the need was sensed,
Sphincter muscles Gordie tensed.
As his bladder came to fill,
He'd control it to his will.

But this night the urge was strong,
Each contraction lasting long.
Something now had gone amiss.
Gordie really had to piss!

This ain't right, the big man thought.
I can always drink a lot,
Holding it for many hour
With my bladder's muscle power.

Now, however, he was bursting
From his overzealous thirsting.
Extra pints he drank tonight.
All were adding to his plight.

It was scarcely ten past ten,
Nowhere near the hour when
He normally would take his leave,
And his bladder could relieve.

Gordie had a reputation
For controlling urination.
Never did he need to seek
The urinal to take a leak.

Not until eleven could
He leave, although he knew he should.
He had to hold it as expected
Without any strain detected.

From his handsome, scowling brow,
A bit of sweat it did allow.
His callused paw, in motion quick,
Furtively did pinch his d*ck.

He shifted weight upon the stool,
Yet nothing could abate the cruel
Increasing pressure, as he tried
To keep a sea of piss inside.

As he watched the slothful clock,
He pinched again his awesome cock,
To will his muscle to obey
And hold his piss in, come what may.

But then the stronger urges came,
And then he knew no will could tame
Their power, so with fleeting smile
He put his feet upon the tile.

"Friends, the hour has come," he said,
"For me to amble to my bed.
"I know it's early, but I tire.
"Beer has quenched my inner fire."

Stepping toward the outside door,
Urges he could not ignore
Really caught him off his guard.
Gordie squeezed his willie hard.

To his horror, to his shock,
A mighty burst escaped his c*ck.
While his friends' eyes opened wide,
Appeared a spot he could not hide.

His body shook, his visage paled
As his tired sphincter failed.
Rapidly the spot did grow
And he groaned, "Oh, f*ck! Oh, no!"

Now his barmates gasped and tittered,
When the dark'ning stream that glittered
Poured on down the denim blue,
To spatter on his workman's shoe.

Gordie, frozen first with fear,
Saw the barroom portal near.
With a strangled, anguished shout
And face afire, he ran out.

He raced o'er the cobblestone,
His only wish to cower alone
Safe, secure, in his small room,
So he could contemplate his doom.

And while he lay curled in a ball,
From out his door a voice did call.
"Gordie boy! Out of your cot!
"We must give thanks for scene so hot!"

With shaking hand the door he oped,
To greet a crowd that he had hoped
To never see again, his mates
In front of whom he'd sealed his fate.

"That was a sight! That was a thrill!"
They shouted, "So we hope you will
"Come drink with us tomorrow, please.
"Just say you will, don't be a tease!"

It seems that watching Gordie piss
Was more erotic than a kiss.
In pants of those who chanced to see,
Boners popped lasciviously.

"I haven't been so hard in years,"
Said one old man with joyful tears.
"The hottest thing in my long life.
"Can hardly wait to greet my wife!"

And so, dear reader, all is well.
Our Gordie gets to drink a spell
With all his mates, and when he's filled,
His pee-performance leaves them thrilled.

So think of that if you perchance
To hold too long and piss your pants.
It just might make your partner horny
Better than some pictures porny.
 

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