Opinions on creating content for people you know personally?

[Raziel 115]

I have a friend I've known since high school (about 15 years now) who does professional nude modeling. In the early days of covid she started offering custom pictures and videos to help make ends meet due to being unable to travel for work. I won't name her here because I don't want her getting unwanted attention, but she was in two separate issues of hustler, has her own patreon and onlyfans, and has likely worked for over a dozen other private entities. It was a little weird asking someone I knew for this, but I asked if she would film herself needing to pee really bad. She had not done this fetish before but admitted she was familiar with it and was willing to give it a try and gave me a quote for a 3-minute video. I offered more than triple for a longer one. I wanted to help out a friend who needed money, but I'll also admit ever since she got into that field that I had fantasized about her getting into more kink related activity and was glad it was finally happening. Months went by and she kept delaying saying she would get around to it until I just gave up. I messaged her a year later apologizing if that request made her uncomfortable. She said it wasn't that. She was just going through a really rough time and distanced herself from everything to get through it, which I believed. However, I found out recently that she's been doing fetish porn for over a year under a different pseudonym she never mentioned. There are videos of her face sitting on men, lesbian action, having her feet tickled while she's tied up, burping etc. This leads me to believe that she really just wasn't comfortable doing that particular scene because it's for someone she knew before her career took off. 

Does anyone have any opinions or insight they can offer in this situation?  

Edit to add: We currently live in different states and at this point it seems unlikely that we'll ever see each other in person again. We also only talk maybe once every year or two. It's not like this is someone I'm seeing fairly often, so in my mind it made it less awkward but maybe she didn't see it that way.

Edited August 7, 2022 by Raziel (see edit history)

[LifeIsStrange 917]

Yeah I think she might've felt awkward doing something erotic for someone she knows personally. Anyways this kind of topic belongs more in the Guidance/Counseling section.

[tennyson 458]

I agree. If she does get back to you, maybe stick with the original quote. Going with the longer one may have made her nervous, even though you did not mean to. 

 

[Weather 252]

Personally I would let it go, she might be worried about the effects of doing something erotic for you on your friendship.

[SpaceWonderer 654]

4 hours ago, Raziel said:

Does anyone have any opinions or insight they can offer in this situation?  

I think you got it, she likely found anything related to omorashi too weird or uncomfortable. Regarding her other videos... well, I've read some years ago what one producer (I think ti was Love Wetting creator) said. He was telling that even many porn models find pee kink too gross, and he had women who would take facial bukkake on camera for money decline his proposals because peeing their pants was "too gross" for them.

[Raziel 115]

10 hours ago, LifeIsStrange said:

Yeah I think she might've felt awkward doing something erotic for someone she knows personally. Anyways this kind of topic belongs more in the Guidance/Counseling section.

Fair enough about it being in the wrong section. My mistake. 

7 hours ago, SpaceWonderer said:

I think you got it, she likely found anything related to omorashi too weird or uncomfortable. Regarding her other videos... well, I've read some years ago what one producer (I think ti was Love Wetting creator) said. He was telling that even many porn models find pee kink too gross, and he had women who would take facial bukkake on camera for money decline his proposals because peeing their pants was "too gross" for them.

That is really interesting to know. She did mention she wasn't comfortable peeing herself on camera, but I explained that I actually prefer just made it scenarios anyway and asked if she would end the video with her making it to the bathroom, which she said was doable. 

[TheLoneRanger 313]

I've just found this discussion after reading some other stuff.

I hadn't realised it was an old dormant post.

All I can suggest is, its because she knew you in person, but that for me isn't really a good enough answer.

Now this could be my autistic brain coming through, but if I need say a car repaired, and a friend is a mechanic, then that friend and the garage he works for, get my business.

It was the same at the weekend. I've been wanting to buy a tongue drum, I knew some friends were running a hippy type stall at a music festival. Rather than buy it from Amazon I first went to see if I could buy it from them.

If you've decided that your job is the sex trade, then should such a request from a friend be surprising.

As for being exposed, well that goes both ways. I don't think anyone here wants people to know their darkest secrets.

In all honesty it was brave of you to request such a video from someone you know, I'm sorry it didn't work out for both of you.

[Raziel 115]

9 hours ago, TheLoneRanger said:

I've just found this discussion after reading some other stuff.

I hadn't realised it was an old dormant post.

All I can suggest is, its because she knew you in person, but that for me isn't really a good enough answer.

Now this could be my autistic brain coming through, but if I need say a car repaired, and a friend is a mechanic, then that friend and the garage he works for, get my business.

It was the same at the weekend. I've been wanting to buy a tongue drum, I knew some friends were running a hippy type stall at a music festival. Rather than buy it from Amazon I first went to see if I could buy it from them.

If you've decided that your job is the sex trade, then should such a request from a friend be surprising.

As for being exposed, well that goes both ways. I don't think anyone here wants people to know their darkest secrets.

In all honesty it was brave of you to request such a video from someone you know, I'm sorry it didn't work out for both of you.

Better late than never, and thanks for the input. I agree.  It wouldn't have bothered me as much if she didn't initially agree then never come through, and give an excuse a year later and never mention she was still active in the industry under a different name (and yes I am 110% sure it's her and not someone who looks like her). I would have understood if she simply declined then or at least got back to me before I had to reach back out a year later saying she couldn't do it for whatever reason.