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anyone else not like hearing about desperation IRL?


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@Raziel

"I can't help you there. Maybe you just need to find someone who would willingly hold it for you so you can experience what you're missing out on?"

I've had others hold it for me online but it's not quite the same as being out in the elements without a bathroom while you are communicating with people who have access because there is no out for you technically.

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@Foxlover

"Oh absolutely. I hypothesize that because we associate pee desperation with sexual pleasure, arousal or at the very least kink, the feelings of talking about pee desperation in public would be akin to talking about sex. For us, it could be the same as hearing someone nonchalantly mention they were gonna go masturbate."

You know even though I consider a full bladder to be sexually arousing I don't feel saying I need to pee is the same as saying I'm going to go masturbate. For a person who is not a fetish is sent to the majority of people saying I have to go pee wouldn't have a sexual association, where as if you said you were going to masturbate everybody would know obviously that you are going to pleasure yourself.


The awkward thing though is having a full bladder and being aroused by it in a public situation such as at my job where I was frustrated by my lack of bathrooms but aroused by it at the same time which sort of compounded the problem.

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2 hours ago, Raziel said:

Have you tried explaining to them that it makes you uncomfortable? Maybe leave out the sexual aspect and just say you had a bad childhood experience that you're reminded of any time someone announces that they need to pee but doesn't go right away? If they've worked with you for years they should understand. 

yeah I've said this many times but it doesn't change anything unfortunately. I've just accepted that I'm gonna have to hear it lol

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Adding on to this, I totally understand. In my head, I'm fine with putting fictional characters in scenarios that would be downright embarrassing and torturous for real people.

I haven't been in a situation yet where someone I know IRL who was desperate, so I can't draw any experience from there. The only person who I've seen desperate (because she often would come home from high school desperate) is my sister, but of course I'm not sexually/romantically attracted to her.

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I have had some recent experiences with this at work. I currently have a co-op position with another student from my class which is a guy, and due to the nature of our job there are sometimes not toilets available so we are both forced to wait. I've already experienced a close call with him which I felt really really bad for sexualizing in my stupid head but I can hardly help it that's just how I think 🤷‍♀️ 

I think actions are much more important than thoughts though, as long as you act appropriately that's most of the battle

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@Kiwi_Rebecca_C

"I have had some recent experiences with this at work. I currently have a co-op position with another student from my class which is a guy, and due to the nature of our job there are sometimes not toilets available so we are both forced to wait. I've already experienced a close call with him which I felt really really bad for sexualizing in my stupid head but I can hardly help it that's just how I think 🤷‍♀️ 

I think actions are much more important than thoughts though, as long as you act appropriately that's most of the battle"

I agree that as long as you act appropriately there is nothing wrong with it but still it's kind of still awkward and difficult to deal with. I mean if you are turned on by desperation it's hardly possible to just stand there feeling neutral while you are ready to explode in more than one sense of the word with others doing likewise. It's a situation of such extraordinary sexual tension it's almost maddening, and I can say that speaking from extensive experience!

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@DesperateJill Yes haha. The worst is when I also have to pee which would turn me on regardless, and when there's a pretty attractive guy sitting beside me feeling the same way my brain just starts thinking about all the muscles that he must be using to store that urine and it turns me on more, but I just try to pretend like its just another day on the job "nothing weird going on here" 😆

It almost reminds me of when I was in grade school, and boys were allowed to wear essentially whatever they wanted but girls had all these weird restrictions on shirts, bras, and shorts with the concern that it might be distracting I guess. Well... with the same logic it should be illegal for people to say they are holding their pee because I find that extremely "distracting" hahaha. I'm joking of course, but to some extent feel like I am a minority with a disability that society hasn't responded to yet 

Edited by Kiwi_Rebecca_C (see edit history)
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@Kiwi_Rebecca_C

"Yes haha. The worst is when I also have to pee which would turn me on regardless, and when there's a pretty attractive guy sitting beside me feeling the same way my brain just starts thinking about all the muscles that he must be using to store that urine and it turns me on more, but I just try to pretend like its just another day on the job "nothing weird going on here" 😆."

Yeah I would never try to bring up the topic of my other female coworkers didn't mention that they had to pee or something like that. My male coworkers I was mostly frustrated over the fact that I was thinking about them going to the bathroom while I was standing there holding it all day. I don't know if any of them with fetishists but it is still somewhat a self-conscious and embarrassing thing when members of the opposite sex realize that you have to go to the bathroom and it's a very sexually charged event regardless simply because of the tension of the situation.

"It almost reminds me of when I was in grade school, and boys were allowed to wear essentially whatever they wanted but girls had all these weird restrictions on shirts, bras, and shorts with the concern that it might be distracting I guess. Well... with the same logic it should be illegal for people to say they are holding their pee because I find that extremely "distracting" hahaha. I'm joking of course, but to some extent feel like I am a minority with a disability that society hasn't responded to yet"

It's funny because I actually just wrote a story yesterday satirizing that very thing. It's ridiculous that girls get blamed for distracting boys instead of having the boys be reprimanded for sexually objectifying the girls. I don't remember there being that many restrictions on what you could wear in my school, but I do remember one time when we were younger it was sort of the opposite case, where we had sort of a Christmas play and all of the boys were able to dress warmly appropriate to the season for this Christmas play or whatever that we had to put on, but the girls all had to wear like really short skirts even though it was the middle of winter and they were all shivering and it was just so ridiculous.


So yeah would be kind of weird to be blamed for turning people on just because my bladder was ready to explode when they are the ones who are taking advantage of the situation! The way I see it the person who has to pee is in the more awkward position.

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4 minutes ago, Kiwi_Rebecca_C said:

@DesperateJill Yes haha. The worst is when I also have to pee which would turn me on regardless, and when there's a pretty attractive guy sitting beside me feeling the same way my brain just starts thinking about all the muscles that he must be using to store that urine and it turns me on more, but I just try to pretend like its just another day on the job "nothing weird going on here" 😆

Of course, there's nothing weird going on. 🤣

There's a simple explanation. Your bladder is full, his likely is as well, and those thoughts of him using those muscles are living rent-free in those erogenous areas in your brain. It's just another day on the job there.

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I also get anxiety when other people are desperate. I empathize too much, plus I feel awkward that if it was fictional I'd just be completely turned on. Though some fiction also feels bad/gives me anxiety.

Sometimes afterwards if I know it turned out okay I can think about it and enjoy it, but sometimes even then, even with partners, it feels kind of bad.

It can remind me of times I couldn't access a bathroom and I just get upset.

Some circumstances are different - like if it's someone I know well, and they're not upset, I enjoy it. I don't really feel guilty about being a bit turned on if they're not suffering.

Edited by BeeCat (see edit history)
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I understand the discomfort, in my case it happens to me that if someone tells me that they need to do something and they don't want to go, it bothers me that this person has an unplanned accident and therefore is not focused on my affairs.

I relate it more to the fact that unfortunately I never get the chance to see someone have a pee or poo accident, it bothers me to hear or know that a person is doing something or is suffering from it in that place and even more knowing that in many cases he has the means to do it, that he may have a bathroom available but he refuses to use it, it is more anxiety that causes me to tell him, go to the bathroom at once, damn it. As I mentioned, it never happened to me to see a pee or poop accident, but I hatefully saw several vomiting, seeing how people traveling on public transport could not stand a dizzy spell or drunk vomiting in one place and having to breathe the vomit smell of their accident, would be Less uncomfortable if it was pee and maybe poop, but it would be annoying that when traveling I had to breathe the urine or poop of the person on the site, personally, if I got to that point, I would prefer to get off as soon as possible and do it outside the site for This, more than anything because I am one of those who if I start to pee or poop automatically I would lower my pants because if I can't stop it at least I'm not going to ruin my travel clothes, even if I'm in public I'd apologize saying: I couldn't take it, it was either this or getting in my pants. and in the case of vomiting it is worse because you can cause the domino effect, someone can see you and start vomiting out of disgust.

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I know what you mean. The other day I was walking down the street and I passed a lady yelling at a man for peeing in one of those sidewalk patios and he was saying things like “I couldn’t hold it” (which is my absolute biggest turn on phrase) and then turned around and was fighting with her while still holding his dick and it was dripping/dribbling and I was horrified by the actual real life scenario I was witnessing but also uncomfortable with basically witnessing a fantasy scenario for me but in an extremely uncomfortable context 

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@Max1990

"I know what you mean. The other day I was walking down the street and I passed a lady yelling at a man for peeing in one of those sidewalk patios and he was saying things like “I couldn’t hold it” (which is my absolute biggest turn on phrase) and then turned around and was fighting with her while still holding his dick and it was dripping/dribbling and I was horrified by the actual real life scenario I was witnessing but also uncomfortable with basically witnessing a fantasy scenario for me but in an extremely uncomfortable context"

I kind of wonder if maybe she had to go to the bathroom herself and was just jealous and aggravated about how easy he was able to relieve himself. I certainly know that if I was unable to pee and I saw a guy urinating like that it would probably make me go through the roof although I doubt I would confront anybody on it as I am a nonconfrontational person.


But once again it's true that sometimes you can see an uncomfortable situation that you find arousing. Like I always said that my work situation would have been extremely interesting as a fantasy but when you are living the reality of it it's very daunting and you are so concerned with the practicalities of holding it that anything fetish related is secondary even if you find yourself aroused by the situation in spite of not wanting to be.


It was like he was the most frustrating and infuriating situation of my life but it was also the most arousing, which creates a major conflict of interest! If I didn't have this as a fetish I doubt it would have been anywhere near as intense or as memorable but to put a person obsessed with omorashi into a situation where she can't pee all day, well you can see the issues that that would bring up!

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I also find this super uncomfortable. If being desperate is distressing for someone that is like an anti-turn-on for me and I want to help them resolve that situation as soon as possible. I think mostly it's dependent on my baseline sexual attraction to the desperate person which for most people is 0%. Big difference between my girlfriend being desperate vs. a random commuter being desperate. 99.9% of the time if you encounter this in public its the latter.

Edited by MasterOptometrist (see edit history)
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