How do i get over the self shaming?

[Fae_Enby 31]

Hey guys,

So i have been off and on this site for years, and I am finally able to bring myself to having an account and everything. I am trying my hardest not to be critical on myself about this kink (wetting,messing,diapers, etc.) but it gets hard. I work almost everyday and I'm going for a masters Degree and everything. I have a loving and caring partner who I have known for years and intend on marrying. They know vaguely about my kink and are not judgmental in the slightest. I do not bring it up with them but that is because I do not discuss it with really anyone because  am ashamed. My partner not judging me is all I really need. But how do I not be so critical on myself? I feel as though I am getting better at it but what do you guys do?

[andrewWetter 208]

Terrific words from @PeeNewbieGirl above. 
 

In case you should still need any further support here;

These kinks are all absolutely harmless, and absolutely wonderful to enjoy. Just look how many great people frequent this site alone… there are many of us out there, and I do hope that over time you can convince yourself of indeed just this. 
 

It sounds like you have a busy life, with work and studies - respect to you for holding it all down - but just another reason I would make sure to enjoy these and any other kinks in your downtime. I’d go as far as suggest it might be healthy… if not physically, at least psychologically. Great stress relief (for me at least).

 

It sounds like your partner is fine with it, and even if it is not their thing, then you can participate on your own when you have a little time/space to yourself. You can have an amazing relationship (for life) without necessarily sharing each and every flavor and desire. 
 

All the very best to you both. 
andrew

Edited August 2, 2022 by soakingboy (see edit history)

[Fae_Enby 31]

On 8/2/2022 at 2:40 AM, soakingboy said:

Terrific words from @PeeNewbieGirl above. 
 

In case you should still need any further support here;

These kinks are all absolutely harmless, and absolutely wonderful to enjoy. Just look how many great people frequent this site alone… there are many of us out there, and I do hope that over time you can convince yourself of indeed just this. 
 

It sounds like you have a busy life, with work and studies - respect to you for holding it all down - but just another reason I would make sure to enjoy these and any other kinks in your downtime. I’d go as far as suggest it might be healthy… if not physically, at least psychologically. Great stress relief (for me at least).

 

It sounds like your partner is fine with it, and even if it is not their thing, then you can participate on your own when you have a little time/space to yourself. You can have an amazing relationship (for life) without necessarily sharing each and every flavor and desire. 
 

All the very best to you both. 
andrew

Thank you!! This was great too 

[hemakesherwet 32]

It took away the tension and shame out of this kink once I was open about it with my partner. She isn't into it and only participates passively, but still this didn't disgust her or anything.

In your case the outcome can be anything, but from what you say (they're sort of have a vague idea) chances are it's going to be okay.

And if it's not, well sooner or later they'd know anyway, so better to get things sorted before they went too far. If you plan on living together, all your demons will be in the open want you or not.

Edited August 16, 2022 by hemakesherwet (see edit history)

[Amomonya 141]

I used to live with a lot of shame about this.  As you've already figured out, this isn't a good mindset because you're never going to completely get over your kink(s).

The reality is, a piss fetish isn't really uncommon - at all.  Between social media and my personal (IRL) interactions with people it seems to me that it's only getting more popular; or people are becoming more open about it.  Yes, omorashi/wetting is a bit more specific and not nearly as well-known but it's still a subcategory of piss fetish.

I do think most sexually open people are willing to try piss activities, if brought up.  It's a warm, mostly sterile bodily fluid that comes from the sexy bits.  Not super hard for people to understand why a person would like that.  Diapers OTOH are a bigger leap, but only a hop away from wetting - so it could be deduced most people who tried/enjoyed wetting would be willing to try diapers.  Of course messing is a lot more taboo and I don't think it's nearly as common.  But it's still a harmless fetish.  Considering the many extreme things other people are into, it's really nothing to be ashamed of either, even if most people don't get it.

What really helped me get over the shame was discussing this with other people.  Online is a great start!  But talking about your kinks face-to-face with your partner makes a whole world of difference.  If your partner cares about you, they are very likely dying to know more about it - but don't want to embarrass you!  Don't brush off the topic when it comes up.  You NEED these conversations to happen if you want to stop feeling this way.  And if you're going to spend your life with this person, they surely want to understand what gets you going.  I promise you that - unless your partner is, well, not a good partner - you're going to find the conversation a lot easier than you thought, once it's actually happening.

I told my last two partners about my kink.  The first partner's reaction was actually relief - she'd been with others who had much darker ideations, and was glad to know my sexual preferences are totally harmless.  She indulged me quite a bit after that.  The other partner found it entertaining - she asked lots of questions, teased and indulged me as well.  Both were not only open to the idea, but also seemed to take an interest in it themselves.  If you haven't ever engaged in any of these activities with another person I guarantee you'll feel a lot better about this once you do.

Nowadays I don't really care at all if people know I like to piss myself.  It wouldn't even embarrass me if anyone found out - to the point where it's come up in casual conversation, and I've talked about it openly with friends.  People really don't think it's that weird.  Sure I'd be embarrassed if other people learned I wear diapers sometimes, but I don't feel shame about that.  While I don't poop myself, I imagine it would be similar to the diapers, if I did.

Odds are, you're deeply compartmentalizing this part of yourself, instead of integrating it into the rest of your psyche.  Compartmentalization can be a useful cope for a lot of things, but for me the cognitive dissonance makes me feel like a fragmented person.  This is part of who you are, so just bite the bullet and accept it for what it is - you'll be a lot happier once you do. 🙂

[Fae_Enby 31]

20 minutes ago, Amomonya said:

I used to live with a lot of shame about this.  As you've already figured out, this isn't a good mindset because you're never going to completely get over your kink(s).

The reality is, a piss fetish isn't really uncommon - at all.  Between social media and my personal (IRL) interactions with people it seems to me that it's only getting more popular; or people are becoming more open about it.  Yes, omorashi/wetting is a bit more specific and not nearly as well-known but it's still a subcategory of piss fetish.

I do think most sexually open people are willing to try piss activities, if brought up.  It's a warm, mostly sterile bodily fluid that comes from the sexy bits.  Not super hard for people to understand why a person would like that.  Diapers OTOH are a bigger leap, but only a hop away from wetting - so it could be deduced most people who tried/enjoyed wetting would be willing to try diapers.  Of course messing is a lot more taboo and I don't think it's nearly as common.  But it's still a harmless fetish.  Considering the many extreme things other people are into, it's really nothing to be ashamed of either, even if most people don't get it.

What really helped me get over the shame was discussing this with other people.  Online is a great start!  But talking about your kinks face-to-face with your partner makes a whole world of difference.  If your partner cares about you, they are very likely dying to know more about it - but don't want to embarrass you!  Don't brush off the topic when it comes up.  You NEED these conversations to happen if you want to stop feeling this way.  And if you're going to spend your life with this person, they surely want to understand what gets you going.  I promise you that - unless your partner is, well, not a good partner - you're going to find the conversation a lot easier than you thought, once it's actually happening.

I told my last two partners about my kink.  The first partner's reaction was actually relief - she'd been with others who had much darker ideations, and was glad to know my sexual preferences are totally harmless.  She indulged me quite a bit after that.  The other partner found it entertaining - she asked lots of questions, teased and indulged me as well.  Both were not only open to the idea, but also seemed to take an interest in it themselves.  If you haven't ever engaged in any of these activities with another person I guarantee you'll feel a lot better about this once you do.

Nowadays I don't really care at all if people know I like to piss myself.  It wouldn't even embarrass me if anyone found out - to the point where it's come up in casual conversation, and I've talked about it openly with friends.  People really don't think it's that weird.  Sure I'd be embarrassed if other people learned I wear diapers sometimes, but I don't feel shame about that.  While I don't poop myself, I imagine it would be similar to the diapers, if I did.

Odds are, you're deeply compartmentalizing this part of yourself, instead of integrating it into the rest of your psyche.  Compartmentalization can be a useful cope for a lot of things, but for me the cognitive dissonance makes me feel like a fragmented person.  This is part of who you are, so just bite the bullet and accept it for what it is - you'll be a lot happier once you do. 🙂

Thank you! This was great!

[qdly 5]

Hmmm, as far as i see it there is only one problem, and its you not accepting yourself. Most people in some matter don't. I would like to be a bit hogher myself, wouldn't hurt to be smarter either, but some have find their problems to be more serious and those can be terrible to live with. Tbh i would suggest looking for help with specialist if you consider your problem to be serious. It will be weird for you, but belive me, people look for help with all kind of stuff and self acceptance isn't worst of it.

Yet, if you just look for our opinion and tips, for me its mostly feeling i dont harm anyone and im not that much diffrent. Sure, some days i feel some guilt, i think i should throw everyting away from my life, but its part of me, and 99% of time i don't feel it that way. More and more people do lots of funny and interesting stuff in their beds. Most dont talk about it, my best friend i knew for 20+ years not long ago told me she was mistress for a while and done some serious bdsm stuff. Most people explore sexuality, look for what they may enjoy. In many relations where one person got kink they try to share it, in my last relation my ex liked ropes, so we kind exchanged our kinks and merged them. Try to get your gf into it, explain everything, think what you can do together. If you can get her into it that will be best medicine, if not, well, no 2 ppl have same taste for everything. 🙂

[TheLoneRanger 253]

For me it's taken a near fatal heart attack, to be able to start being who I want to be.

Now I've still not let old friends know about this side of me, and I don't plan to. 

But I have now started wetting in more public areas.

In the past, I have always stayed hidden behind my computer screen. Secretly hoping that someone else would organise a meet of like minded people. Now I'm the one doing the organising.

I'm no longer looking for "The One" but I am now wanting real Omo friends with which to have adventures.

[PeeNewbieGirl 120]

The main goal is just communication. If you do not talk to anybody about it, no one can help you. 

You should try to just ask your partner (in a cozy, making out scenario) if she/he does mind if you just pee yourself a liiittle bit. You can tell her/him that this will make you more comfortable and you will enjoy it more. And if she/he is not an complete idiot she/he will not judge you at all but be supportive and probable also gets turned on by it. 

I would just try to tell my partner. I think this will also help you with accepting the kink. It is nothing you have to be ashamed of. 

Just be confient and tell her/him. They will find it sexy in a way, because it turns you on, which will turn them on. Infinite cycle. 😉

Wish you all the best. ☺️