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non-binary Enbies have magic powers?!

  • non-binary

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Chapter 2: A coup already?!

"But Lee said—"

"How could it possibly not work?"

It was a new moon. Crickets were chirping, there was light traffic in the distance, and the stars were clear against an empty sky. The grassy field would have been lost under a blanket of complete darkness if not for the two figures walking through it, a faint glow eminating from their party. A gentle breeze was blowing intermittently and flitting through both beans' hair.

"But Lee said—"

Shay stopped in her tracks and spun around to glare at Green. One hand perched on her hip; the other grasped a knife, which she held with its flat side towards the enby, reflecting a blotch of light from their fingertips back onto their shirt. Light: one of the only spells that could be cast continuously for as long as desired without depleting one's mana.

"It's a knife," she said. "Honestly. Watch." She bent over and picked up a crushed soda can that was lying on the ground, and jabbed the knife clean through it with a metallic pop. "Just like that."

Green grimaced. "Come on. The military is figuring something out. There's no reason to risk it."

"You've been figuring something out for a century," Shay said coldly. "How long was it going to take before someone thought of using a sharp stick?"

"Shay..." Green whined.

"Listen, Green. If you don't want me to shove this into Prince Ben's heart, then take it from me. Use your attack magic."

"I keep telling you, that's not a thing!"

"Then what's your plan for dealing with him?"

Green looked helplessly at their companion. As if their paltry voice didn't declaw their arguments enough in Shay's eyes, their form was even less threatening. Their body was short, thin, and frail, their eyes were big and round, their shoulders were straight but narrow, and their hair was permanently a mess — in a word, they were smol. Their gaze dropped to the ground and they began to sulk. They hated losing arguments.

That had seemed to be the end of the discussion, but Shay wouldn't turn around. Green wished she would. They were feeling awkward and embarrassed, but there was also another feeling brewing inside them that was making them urgently need to be moving again. Their feet wanted to shift or shuffle around or start tapping, their fingers wanted to play with their shirt, their knees wanted to press together... but they couldn't do any of that, couldn't let on what was happening to them, not while Shay was watching, they—

"Do you need to pee?" Shay asked.

Green squeezed their eyes shut and turned away. "No?"

"God, you're a baby."

Shay resumed walking, and Green hurried to keep up.

"We've been out here for hours! Anyone would need to go!"

"Shh. Keep yelling and you'll get us caught."

Green lowered their voice to a whisper. "...can we stop so I can pee, at least?"

Shay sighed. "Fine, baby, make it quick."

Green disappeared into the bushes for two minutes, and then came back, still visibly stressed and tense. The pair continued on.

The grand castle which had been sitting on the horizon for ages was finally starting to get close, peeling off the backdrop and becoming a real three-dimensional object that the travelers would be able to reach. When they got within a hundred meters of it, Shay slung her backpack off her shoulders and opened it up. Out came a set of leather clothing: a tunic, trousers, booties, and a hat. The dress of a castle guard. She donned the armor.

"What is that for??" Green wailed.

"Oh my god, shut up," Shay hissed. "Please lower your voice, Green, please. Please? Pretty please, don't get us caught before we have a chance to do what we're here to do?"

Green was dancing on the spot, their feet stamping down patches of grass, their hands balled into fists and flailing wildly at their sides, their eyes shiny with tears, practically frothing at the mouth. "Is that what you need me for?" they whispered. "You're gonna dress up as a guard and turn me in??"

"Pretty sure I told you to stay home."

"You said I should stay home if I wanted to be a square!!"

"Yeah," Shay said. "Cause it'll be cooler if you're there to see it. Now come on. Now's the last moment to turn back. Are you Green, or are you yellow?"

Green was miserable, but they stayed put.

"All right," Shay said. "Let's go."

So they made their way to the castle. It was an ancient thing, preserved through the ages by endless restorations even as modernity encroached from the city side — roads, cars, phone lines, electric billboards — and seeped in through the front gate — indoor plumbing, air conditioning, wifi. But the back side of the castle faced the empty field where the two travelers had come from, and was unguarded.

"How are we gonna get in??"

"We're gonna go around, dummy." Shay started walking.

"Wait!" Green said in a cracked whisper. "I- I-...!"

Shay turned to see what the problem was, and found Green frozen in pain. Their legs were crossed, their knees were bent, their toes were curled, their teeth were clenched, and their neck was craning forward. One hand was clamped to their thigh while the other clawed at their tum.

Shay rolled her eyes. "Do you seriously need to pee again?"

"I- I couldn't go! Just gimme thirty seconds, I'll—"

"No," Shay said. "If someone catches you peeing out here, we'll be done for before we even get inside."

"But it's, I- I really—!"

"We can't. You'll just have to hold it."

"Don't you need to go too??"

"Not really."

Green was once again defeated. Their bladder was killing them, but there was nothing they could do about it. Shay's persona was too overpowering. She took them by the arm and began leading them around the castle, and they had no choice but to uncross their legs and come along, doing everything they could not to cry.

As the two beans emerged from behind the castle, they got a glimpse of something neither of them had ever seen before: a city inside of Laves. The crisscross streets were shockingly plain and familiar. Shops were lined up shoulder to shoulder in all directions. In the distance there were skyscraper apartment buildings. Cars were driving on the roads. A cyclist was out for a midnight ride. Drunk party-goers were hollering in the distance. There were flowers and trees planted along the sidewalk. The only difference was, visible by the entrance of every public restroom in sight, there were a series of dim red lights indicating the idle status of the machines they were attached to. Card readers.

They didn't have time to stare. Shay marched Green right up to the front gate, and looked the two guards square in the eye.

"Hey buddies," she said. "Caught this bean trying to run off. No idea how they got out. Wanna let us back in?"

"What do you mean 'got out'?" one of them asked. "Why were they in the castle to begin with?"

"They're with me," Shay said. "Extra special treatment for poor behavior in the POW camp."

The guard squinted at her. "I don't recognize your face or your voice. Who are you?"

"Come on, I told you I was working on my fem voice... do you seriously not recognize me?"

"Uh," she said. The other guard was looking at her expectantly. "Oh, uh, Gracie?! Holy cow, sis, you sound amazing."

"Thanks," Shay said. "Kinda need to get back inside now, can we chat about it later?"

"Sure, sure," the guard said, unlocking the gate. "Sorry about that... it's so hard to see out here."

"No prob."

The guard opened the gate for Shay and Green to go through, and they stepped into the castle. Shay brought them around one corner, then a second corner, and finally a third, and then, seeing that they were alone, pulled Green over to the side and leaned against the wall to rest.

"Phew," she said. "Tell me that wasn't some impressive social engineering. Go on, say it."

Green's hands were jammed between their legs, and their mouth was locked in a grimace. They didn't answer.

"No no, Shay, that was awesome! You really saved the day!" Shay cooed. "Aww, thanks Green! I really get the sense that you appreciate how well I'm pulling this off."

Green was silent once again.

"Okay," Shay said. "Come on, let's find the prince. I've got some intel on where his room is."

"...how?" Green whispered.

"What, now you're talking? I have a contact who defected from the court a few years ago. They remembered some of the castle layout. It should be this way."

So they walked through corridors and climbed flights of stairs, until eventually they arrived at a quite large and well-decorated wooden door with two guards standing outside of it. Up until this point they had confidently walked passed many guards who were wandering the halls (or at least, Shay had been confident — Green had been freaking out too hard to say or do anything). But these two would be a different story, Shay reasoned. Prince Ben wouldn't choose someone as a bedroom guard who would just let them waltz by if they were cocky enough about it. She would need to be clever and decisive.

"Hey buddies," she said quietly. "Mind doing me a favor? Just keep an eye on this enby for me while I go use the bathroom?"

One of the two made to speak, but Shay didn't wait around to hear what he had to say. She lifted her leg high in the air and brought it cracking down on the door handle, sending the door flying open. The guard who had been about to speak changed course and lunged at her, but she grabbed his arm, flung him to the ground, and stomped on his back to make sure he'd stay down for a bit. The other guard threw herself into the door frame to block Shay's path, but frame was too wide for one bean to cover it all — Shay faked left, then faked right, then finally ducked left and slipped around the guard into the room. The guard went after her, but Shay landed a hard punch on her cheek, and down she went.

The room was fairly large, its main feature being the huge bed in the middle of the floor. It was one of those fancy beds with the ceiling above it and the curtains that go around, but even through the curtains one could see that a form was sitting bolt upright inside, having been awoken by the sound of the door slamming open.

"Out!" Shay yelled, brandishing the knife towards the bed. "Show yourself, coward!"

The curtain parted, and out stepped an unusually tall bean with blonde hair, pale skin, and a European face. Those who didn't recognize it from the propaganda might know it from the banknotes used within the kingdom. And, tunnel-visioned though she was, Shay took note of the crown sitting atop the bedside table. There was no doubt about it: this was Prince Ben.

"C'MERE YOU ROTTEN BASTARD!!" Shay screamed. She cleared the distance between them in under a second, threw herself into a kneeling position, and, before Ben could react, thrust the knife diagonally upwards for what she knew would be a clean kill.

Time stopped.

Literally.

Yes.

Gray descended from the sky, painting the room in monochrome as it trickled down the walls. The whole world lost its color, except for the knife, which took on an accusatory red aura as it hung in the air just shy of piercing skin. Shay watched through frozen eyes as the light turned blue, then green, then white, and then began to grow brighter and brighter, ramping up until it was intolerable to look at, until Shay thought she would go blind. Finally, the bubble popped: the glow exploded into a billion tiny stars, leaving only the empty outline of a knife where an actual knife had been moments before. Color returned to the world in the same manner it had left. Shay's body thawed, and she looked around in astonishment. The blade was completely gone, and her hand hung empty in front of Ben's chest.

"Are you quite finished?" Ben asked.

"Wh..."

Green stumbled into the room, both hands still buried in their crotch.

"I-I-I-... I told you," they whimpered. Pee was trickling down their legs and collecting in a puddle at their feet, which was connected by a trail of dribbles to a second puddle out in the hall. Shay was too stunned to respond. Green finished peeing, and then collapsed.

"GUARDS!" Ben called. In seconds, six more guards dashed into the room, assessed the situation, and seized the intruders, two guards on Green and four on Shay.

"H-h-... how??" Shay asked breathlessly.

Ben knelt down in front of her, close enough that their faces were only inches apart.

"A word of advice, dear," came the ghastly voice. "Don't go for brilliant checkmates if you don't understand the rules of the game. The king can be very slippery if you don't know what you're doing. Do you play chess? Well, I shouldn't even ask. You obviously don't, or you wouldn't be making this kind of mistake."

One of the guards spoke up. "The camp, your majesty?"

Ben nodded. "Yes. That was an act of war, so these two are prisoners of war."

So they peeled Green blubbering up off the floor, forced Shay to her feet, and dragged them both out of the room.

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  • 2 months later...

Chapter 3: A special enby prison?!

Green and Shay were separated when the guards escorting Shay dragged her out the front gate of the castle while those with Green continued on down the corridor. Shay was too angry over the failed plan to look back at Green, and Green was too out of it to look anywhere in particular. It would be a while before they saw each other again.

"Stop flopping around, bud," one of the guards said to Green.

"wHeRe aRe YoU tAkInG mEeEe????" Green screamed in despair. Wherever it was, Green was doing everything in their power to avoid getting there.

"You're not getting away from us," the guard said. "If we need to put restraints on you, we will."

The threat only made Green flail harder, but there was nothing they could do to escape the firm grip of the four hands on their arms. The guards took them to a room at the end of a long corridor and forced them through the doorway. Inside, there was a bean reading a book at their desk, surrounded by shelves showcasing all manner of chains, ropes, handcuffs, and so forth. They looked up at the party of three.

"Hey fellas. What do you need?"

"Hey Dan. We need a straightjacket and an anti-magic patch. Better start with the straightjacket."

Dan fetched the straightjacket and helped the guards get Green into it.

"Easy now, easy now," they said. "Come on, thrashing around like that isn't gonna make this any easier for ya." They reached over to something that looked like a stack of coasters and pulled a round piece of rubbery-looking fabric off the top. The front was blank, and the back displayed the geometric insignia of Laves.

"wHaT iS tHaT????" Green cried.

Dan put a hand on their arm. "It's alright, it won't hurt you. I just need you to turn around so I can stick this on the back of your neck."

"nOOOOoooooooo!!" Green sobbed.

Dan's eyes were full of sympathy. "It's just a little cloth that's designed to restrict your mana usage," they explained. "We put it on your body and refresh it once a day. I promise it doesn't hurt."

The guards turned Green around, and Dan made to affix the cloth to Green's neck, but their hand knocked against a translucent section of a sphere that sprung up to cover their entire back. Shield: the bubbles weren't completely indestructable, but even at Green's level, they were pretty damn strong.

"This won't help you either," Dan said, resting their hand on the green forcefield. "Listen, kin, what's your name?"

Green didn't respond. Tears were falling from their eyes.

"Well, you don't have to answer. But this is gonna happen one of two ways. Either you drop the shield now and I put this on you without any fuss, or we stand here until your mana runs out and I put this on you then. There's no getting out of it. May as well save yourself the trouble."

Green kept the shield up for another fifteen seconds, until finally they lost hope and allowed it to disintegrate. Dan put the patch on them, and as they pressed it down, their hand briefly emitted an impossible black glow.

"Try putting your shield back up?"

Nothing happened.

"All right. You won't be able to perform any magic while this is on you. Don't try to take it off — that really will hurt, trust me."

The guards thanked Dan, and escorted Green out of the room, this time with no resistance.

They lead Green out the front gate and through the city, and onlookers turned their heads to watch. It was common for multitudes of prisoners to be taken through the streets after a battle, but a single prisoner was something unusual, and interesting. People wanted to know what the poor bean — whose pants were still soaked with pee — was guilty of.

Eventually they came to a tall, wide, plain building, whose front entrance was labeled by a large metal placard: "Capitol City Nonbinary Detention Center (Site I)". They entered. The first room behind the door was a large, pleasant lobby, and the guards led Green to the front desk where they checked them in.

"Your cell number is #2771," the clerk said. "Elevator is over there."

Green was blushing furiously. "c-can... can I have—"

"You'll be given fresh pants in the morning."

The guards led Green upstairs, deposited them in the cell straightjacket and all, and shut the door behind them.

The enby looked around. It was a pretty nice room, for a prison cell. It had four bunkbeds attached to the walls, two desks facing the window, and a bookshelf by the door. On the windowsill there was a potted plant, and on the bookshelf, alongside a few dozen books and some art supplies, there was a Switch sitting in its charging port. Lying on three of the beds were three other beans, two of whom were sleeping, and one of whom had woken up and was looking at Green.

"Are you new?" they whispered.

"Y-yeah..."

"Welcome to the Center. We'll show you around in the morning."

Green stared at the floor. They knew it was pathetic, but it had been a stressfull night, and stress always did this to them.

"I... I need to pee..." they whined.

The other bean shook their head. "Yeah. You're gonna get used to that."

"Wh—"

"Let's talk about it in the morning, okay?" they said, and went back to sleep. So Green climbed into the unoccupied bunk bed and shut their eyes. Despite their bladder, their straightjacket, and their soaked pants, sleep found them easily.

Morning came, and Green woke up to sunbeams shining in through the cell's window, a sore spot on their neck where the anti-magic patch was affixed, and an aching bladder in their tum. They looked around and saw one of their cellmates still lying in bed, and the other two sitting at the desk playing Mario Kart on the Switch. The one closer to Green was the one they'd spoken to last night, who Green now saw was a fat, feminine-presenting bean with pale skin and large breasts. Their hair was brown and thick and had been hacked into a bob.

"H-hey," Green said.

The fat bean paused the game and looked up. "Hey," they said. "Mornin'. Welcome to our humble abode. Let's get you out of that straightjacket." They walked over to Green and wrapped their arms around them to undo the clasps on the back. "What's your name?"

"Um. It's Green," they answered, trying not to shift around too much in the embrace. The other bean's sizable chest was pressed up against theirs, and they looked to the side to avoid coming across as a pervert.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Flora." Flora pulled the straightjacket over Green's head, tossed it to the side, and returned to their seat. They turned and looked expectantly at the other player, a short, sturdy, cranky-looking brown bean clad only in sweatpants and a binder.

"Ricky," the cranky bean said. "Can you unpause the game? I seriously gotta pee. Every time we pause, it just makes me think about needing to pee more." His legs were tightly crossed and bouncing, and judging by his expression, his bladder situation was seriously pissing him off. It didn't seem to bode well for Green's chances of emptying their own bladder.

"Where's the bathroom?" Green asked.

Ricky rolled his eyes and sighed haughtily at the question, but Flora was the one who answered. "Yeah, there's no bathroom," they said.

"N-no bathroom?"

"Yeah. Believe me, if we had access to a bathroom, we wouldn't just be sitting around playing Mario. We all need to go."

"A-are you sure?"

"Mm-hm."

Green was getting embarrassed, but their bladder demanded that they press the issue.

"Um," they said. "It's just... I... kinda really need to—"

Ricky stamped his foot on the floor and glared at Green. "Are you deaf?" he snapped. "We are all. Bursting. To piss. There are no bathrooms for us in this entire goddamn building. None. I don't know what planet you're from that you don't know how this works, but we don't get to go."

Flora looked at Green sympathetically, their eyes apologizing for Ricky's rudeness. "Is this your first time?" they asked.

Green nodded.

"What happened? Was there a battle?"

"N-not exactly," Green said, and they told the other two their story. Shay; the knife; the con the two of them pulled to get into the castle; the dramatic magical episode at the end that decimated the knife and ruined the attempted coup.

"Your partner is an idiot for thinking that would work," Ricky said when the story was over. "And you're an idiot for not stopping her."

"Shay isn't—"

"Like, wow, get a load of these geniuses. We'll just stab him! Brilliant."

"Shay—"

"I guess you're both from other planets."

"We're not..."

"Really? Then why did she think that would work?"

"I... I—"

"And why didn't you stop her?"

"S-she didn't know about the Anti-Weapons Field..."

"But you knew!" Ricky said, tossing the controllers onto the table. He uncrossed his legs, shoved his hands into his crotch, and crossed them again. "I get that she didn't know. I don't get how she didn't know — I don't know how someone can be an adult and not know about the Anti-Weapons Field — but I get that she didn't know. But listen, Turquoise. You knew. Why didn't you just tell her that that kind of violence was off the table?"

"I don't... I... I don't know, I-I tried t—"

"For hell's sake. I've been stuck in this tarpit for six months getting my ass handed to me every single day by a team of asshats who don't know which end of a goat to fuck. Every time they play with us it's a different game of bladder torture. I'm never not bursting to piss. We all wet ourselves at least once a week, and every time we do there's a harsher punishment. This is like my twentieth time being detained. You know why this war keeps dragging on? You know why this godfucking war never ends? It's because losers like you let yourselves get dragged into the shittiest schemes imaginable, follow through with D-tier execution, and then get captured before you ever have a chance to be useful."

Green said nothing.

"Rinse and fucking repeat."

Green was glowering at the ground in silence. "...Shay isn't my partner," they finally said.

"Gah. Whatever, I don't care. You're both incompetent either way."

Tension hung in the air. Flora's finger rested on the menu button of the controller, ready to unpause the game when the air cleared, but before they could, there was a knock at the door. Ricky and Flora stood up and whirled around to face the front of the room, and the bean who was still in bed lept up, threw on pants, and joined them.

"Stand next to us," Flora told Green.

Green scurried to obey.

"Put your hands at your sides," Flora said. "And stand up straight."

"B-but... nnnnng..." Green whined. Anyone looking at their body language would have known immediately that their bladder was giving them hell, but they slid their hands out from between their legs, and straightened their back as best they could.

The door opened, and in walked a very tall blonde bean, whose small, round face featured a huge smug grin.

"Good morning my darlings!!" she cooed. "How are my lovely kitties today~? How are they!"

The four enbies said nothing. The woman walked over to Ricky, crouched down so that her face was level with his, and pinched his cheek between her fingers.

"How's my favorite lil' guy~? Your pants are still dry! You didn't piss yourself last night! Yayyy!"

Ricky's face was red with fury, but he stayed silent. The woman stood up again and walked over to Green.

"And who's this? Someone new? Oh, how exciting!!!" She knelt down in front of them and put her hands on their shoulders. "What's your name? What's your name?"

"gn..." Green mumbled.

"Hmm??"

"...Green," Green said.

"Green!!" said the woman. "What a wonderful name. How did you choose it? Or is that your given name?"

Green didn't say anything.

"It reminds me of... wait... hold on a minute, dear." She sniffed around in the air. "I think I might smell pee. Is that you?" She put her hands on Green's legs and felt the day-old stains. Her face turned pouty. "Goodness, Green. Looks like someone had a lil' accident."

Green's face was burning too now. They were too embarrassed to speak. The woman stood up.

"You'll have to make sure not to do that anymore, now that you're with me. Okay hun? Sound good?"

Green nodded vigorously. Anything to get out of the spotlight.

"Good." the woman said. She switched to an announcer's voice. "Okay dears, time for today's first activity. We're going to be playing some chess! Right this way!" She reopened the cell door and marched back out. Green's three roommates fell in behind her, and Flora motioned for Green to follow, which they did. The woman led them through some corridors to a large open room where a dozen other groups of cellmates were standing in lines behind a dozen other guards. There were tables and chairs set up all around the room, with chess boards and game clocks on each table. Green's group was the last to arrive. The woman led them to where the other inmates were, then stepped out into the center of the room.

"Dearies!" the woman said. "Each of you please find a seat at a chess board. You may play against whoever you like. Each pair will play a series of three games, and the winner of the match will be allowed to use the bathroom. You may begin as soon as you are seated. Hop to it!"

The enbies all shuffled to their seats, many of them red-faced, most of them moaning softly or clutching their tums, and all of them looking quite tense. The only one more sprightly than the rest was Flora, who grabbed Green's hand, whisked them across the room to an open board, stationed them in one of the seats, and then plopped down opposite them.

"Do you play?" they asked in a hushed voice.

"N...n-no, not really," Green said.

"Do you at least know how the pieces move?"

"I... I guess? I think everyone does."

"All right. I'm a pretty strong player, but don't worry, I'm not gonna hang you out to dry. I'm gonna win one, lose one, and draw one. If we draw the match, we each get a partial piss. That's fair. Make sure you pay attention during the second game; that's the one I'm gonna lose, and you need to be ready to take your chance when I give it to you."

Green nodded and looked down at the board, ready to begin, but Flora wouldn't look away from them.

"...I'm bursting, you know," they said. "I might not show it like Ricky does, but my bladder feels like it's about to pop out of my gut." Their voice was cool and measured. "I'm in pain, Green. I don't think I've fully emptied my bladder in a week. And I could crush you on the board if I wanted to. Instead, I'm offering you a draw, which I'm not supposed to even do."

Green was writhing in their seat at all the pee-talk, rubbing their knees together and pressing their hands against the tops of their thighs, desperately trying not to grab between their legs. But they froze and clammed up when they felt the sudden firm grip of Flora's hand on their shoulder, and looked up to see the other enby's eyes fixated on theirs.

"A little gratitude would be nice?"

Green's face flushed yet again. "...thank you, Flora..." they mumbled.

Flora nodded. "Let's begin," they said, and made their first move.

The games passed semi-peacefully, the silence of the room punctuated only by the sound of pieces knocking against each other and an occasional whimper, moan, or slosh. Green lost the first game in eighteen moves, won the second in seventy-five moves with much hinting and gesturing from Flora, and drew the third after forty-one moves when Flora stalemated them.

"What do we do now?" they asked, after the guard who had come over to note down the result of their last game had returned to their post against the wall.

"Now we sit here and wait for everyone else to finish."

Green's tum took the opportunity to grumble audibly. "I need to peeeee..." they whined. They looked up at Flora. "Have you really not emptied your bladder in a week??"

"Not fully, no. Partial pees are pretty common. It's how they keep us full most of the time without everyone constantly having accidents and ruining the fun." They looked away. "Listen, Green... I'm sorry I was rude to you before the match. I'm just cranky because my bladder is so sore and tired. It really..."

They trailed off, closed their eyes, and brought a hand up to their mouth. A few moments later they bit down on their own thumb to suppress an audible cry, squeezing their eyes in pain as they did. It took twenty seconds for the wave of pressure to release them from its grip.

"...it really hurts," they finished.

Green didn't know what to say, so they just stared down at the chess board between them, and tried not to make a big deal out of the fact that their bladder was also ready to pop.

It wasn't long before the same woman from before spoke up again.

"Dearies!" she said. "The matches have all finished. Those of you who lost, please accompany your escorts back to your rooms. Those who won or drew, come with me."

Flora and Green stood up and got in line behind her, and when Green turned around they noticed that Ricky was right behind them, standing with his legs crossed and an impatient scowl on his face. Once they were all lined up and all the losers had left the room, the woman led them out down a long corridor that ended at a single rickety wooden door with a restroom sign on it. Below the sign, somebody had graffitied the word "Enbies". Somebody else had crossed it out in a different color and written "lol no" underneath. The woman opened the door to reveal a room hardly larger than a broom closet with a single toilet inside of it, and the first enby in line rushed in, yanked their pants down while the door was still open, and began pissing loudly.

"Don't we get privacy??" Green squeaked, their hands buried in their crotch.

Flora gave them a look over their shoulder, and shook their head.

Enby after enby dashed into the bathroom to relieve themselves, with the woman reminding each one whether they had earned a partial pee or a full pee. Finally it was Flora's turn.

"You drew your match with Green," said the woman. "Partial piss."

Flora nodded and walked into the bathroom with dignity, despite their desperate internal situation. They dropped trou, sat down, and immediately began spraying piss like a faucet into the toilet. Their expression didn't change as the pee poured out of them, even though judging by the sounds alone it could have been the most urgent piss of their entire life. It went on and on, and the indecently loud splashing was just starting to drive Green insane when the women called "Stop!" and the stream stopped on a dime. Flora took a moment to collect themself, stood up, pulled up their pants, zipped and buttoned them, and exited the room, brushing past Green on the way back to their cell.

The woman looked at Green. "You drew your match with Flora," she said. "Partial piss, dearie. And since you're new here, the rule is to sit down and face the line, even if you're able to pee standing up."

Hardly had she finished speaking when the gloomy, irritated sound of Ricky's voice rang in Green's ears. "Come on Turqoise, I don't have all day."

Green walked up to the toilet, turned around, gingerly undid their jeans, looked up at the line of other enbies waiting their turn, then squeezed their eyes shut and all in one motion tore their pants down, slammed their butt down on the toilet, covered their groin with their hands, and began to pee. They couldn't help but whimper in relief as their bladder emptied itself. It had been over half a day.

Just when it was getting good, the woman cried "Stop!". Green clenched their kegel muscles as hard as they could, and the pee stopped momentarily, picked up again, stopped again, then dribbled some more, until finally Green fought it down and managed to halt the flow. They shivered hard. It was the first time they'd ever done that.

"I still heard some peeing after I told you to stop," said the woman. "You need to stop peeing right when I tell you to next time, dearie."

"S-s-... s-sorry," Green said. They looked out at the line again, stunned, embarrassed, and worst of all, still needing to pee.

"Come on!" Ricky said, glaring at them. His face was red, his body was twisted into a knot of pain and urgency, and his voice was cracking from his usual practiced tenor up to its higher, more natural register. Green stood up slowly, worried they would start leaking pee again if they moved too fast, and bent down to pull up their pants, all the while hearing Ricky's growls and moans getting louder in their ears. They pulled up the zipper and were just fastening the button when finally—

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck!!" Ricky screamed. Green looked up to see that he had fallen to his knees, doubled over in pain, and was now kneeling in a growing puddle of his own urine, his hands powerless to stop the flow even as he crammed them desperately into his crotch.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" Green cried as they dashed out of the bathroom, running around the accumulating puddle of pee before it got big enough to block the path. As they scurried off back to their cell, they heard the woman's cruel voice reprimanding Ricky behind them.

"Tsk tsk, dearie. You'd earned yourself a full bathroom break in your match against Gina, but I guess you couldn't quite wait for it, could you? Oh well. I'll write you up, and you'll find out what your punishment is in a day or two."

"FUCK YOU!!"

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  • 9 months later...

Chapter 4: Worst boyfriend ever!!!

Keita woke up in the same state they usually did after a night out drinking: groggy, achy, and badly needing to piss. Their bladder always woke them up half an hour before their alarm went off, which was good, because half the time they forgot to set it after coming home anyway. They slid a hand under the covers and laid it on their tum, waiting for the sharp discomfort to die down a little before they opened their eyes. A minute or two of thigh-squeezing and careful breathing later, they were ready to slide out of bed. They walked over to their desk and plopped down in front of their computer.

"Hey Cortana, what's my daily briefing?"

The robotic voice answered. "Here's what I found for that online," it said. On the screen, it pulled up a listing of denim jackets for sale. Keita closed the window.

"Cortana."

"Yes?"

"What's my daily briefing?"

Cortana paused for a few seconds, and then began talking, starting with the news, which was never very interesting, at least not to Keita. More than anything else, they used it as a distraction from their bladder, which they wouldn't be able to empty until a few hours from now, in the late morning when the first piss break of the day got pushed out to their bathroom card. For the last week or two, enby bathroom cards had been receiving two pees per day, one added at 11am and the other at 9pm. Last night, Keita had tried to put off using their 9pm pee for as long as possible, in preparation for work the next day when they knew they would need to hold it, but they only lasted until around 9:30 before they had to stumble over into the bathroom, on the verge of pissing their pants, to use it.

Keita stared at their desk to find said card... and found to their confusion that it wasn't there. It also wasn't under the desk, in their sweatpants pocket, in last night's jeans' pockets, or in any of the pockets of their backpack. Fuck.

"HYUN!"

"What?"

"DO YOU— ugh." They stood up from their desk and ran to the kitchen, where their boyfriend Hyun was standing at the stove in his boxer shorts, frying himself an egg. "Do you know where my pee card is?"

His face was covered in a smug grin. "Is it where you left it?"

Keita rolled their eyes. "Gosh, is it? I didn't think to check."

"Maybe check there."

"Maybe shut up."

"Love you baby."

"Hmph."

"Love you~~"

The enby walked over to him, and put their hands on his shoulders, giving the boy an affectionate firm rub.

"Were you awake when I got home last night?" they asked.

"I don't remember."

"Did you see where I put my pee card? Did I have it with me?"

"Babe, I said I don't remember."

"Well, you have that look on your face that says you do."

"Well, I don't!" But if anyone had a look on their face, it sure was Hyun. The grin hadn't left him for the whole conversation.

"Babe. Baby. I need to pee. Did you see me with it when I got home or not?"

"No, cutie. It just came back to me, I think I passed out when you texted me saying you'd be another hour. I was asleep when you got back."

Keita's eyebrows furrowed in confusion and annoyance. Hyun made Bambi eyes at them.

"Sorry I can't help you, my dear. Do you... sniff... do you still love me?"

"You're the worst." Keita started heading back to the bedroom.

"Hey, look under the desk!" Hyun called after them.

"Already did," they said.

Like most queer folks in Laves, Keita had long since mastered the art of showering with a full bladder. No, they couldn't just pee in there — the government was smarter than that. Shower drains came equipped with internet-enabled urine detectors that would notify a local agency if they detected pee coming down the drain. We all pee the same, so that meant even cis people couldn't go when washing up — but of course, cis people had the option of emptying out beforehand. Keita did not.

Toweling off, Keita glanced at the toilet, and the card reader mounted on the wall to the side. A locking mechanism kept the toilet's lid shut most of the time, unlockable only by swiping one's card. Yep, even private toilets had them. A galling violation of privacy and autonomy, Keita knew, but by now they were bored of thinking that thought. It was old hat.

But here's a thought they weren't bored of thinking, that in fact they were thinking for the very first time right this minute: HOW THE FUCK AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH WORK WITHOUT PEEING?! Their hands grasped the towel much harder than normal with the stress of their predicament, almost giving themself a rash as they themself dried off. They needed to pee. They had to pee. Obviously they were hardly a stranger to that feeling. But god, the thought of needing to wait until after work — at least after work — before they could go again made it SO MUCH WORSE. Their tum, normally only a little chubby, was protruding noticeably more with the fullness of their bladder, and they felt like they were going to explode.

Keita put on their underwear, and without bothering to put their shirt or pants on yet burst out of the bathroom and rushed back to the bedroom. They needed to head out the door in the next 10 minutes to get to work on time, and still had no clue where their piss card was, so the search mission continued in the bedroom as they got ready. The hairbrush floated in the air at their behest, autonomously brushing the enby’s hair as they looked for the card. Under the sheets? No. Under the bed? No. In the closet? No. On the windowsil? No. On the desk now? Still no.

"Couldn't find it?"

"Gah!" Keita covered themself up as they whirled around to see Hyun standing in the doorway. They'd forgotten he had the day off today. Something about a burst pipe in the building he worked in (yes, hilarious). Ordinarily Keita wouldn't mind giving him a good look at their body as they got ready for work, but he'd caught them by surprise, and to be honest, they weren't feeling particularly sexy right now, stepping from foot to foot in anxiety and desperation as their mind flipped through various circumstances under which they might piss themself in the office later today.

"A little privacy, please?"

"Sure." Hyun turned around. "So. Couldn't find it?"

"No."

"Damn."

"Hyun."

"What?"

"..."

"..."

They stomped over to him and slammed their hands down on his shoulders. "Hyun."

"What, baby?"

"Do you know where I put my card?"

"Babe, we've been over this. I got no idea."

"Do you want me to go into work in 10 minutes knowing full well I won't be able to get through the day without pissing myself?"

"..."

"Hyun!"

"I don't know how to answer that, babe."

"Fuck!!"

They grabbed their hairbrush out of the air and threw it across the room, then shoved past Hyun and back to the bathroom to get dressed in today’s outfit — white jeans, a belt, and an understated solid-red blouse. The spent the last six of their ten minutes scrambling around the apartment, looking under and behind every piece of furniture for their piss card and shouting curse words both at no one in particular and at Hyun to help them look, which he at least went through the motions of doing. But soon, time was up, and with one last burst of profanity, Keita donned their backpack, stepped outside, and slammed the door behind them.

The first hour wasn't so bad, as these things go. The fuming anger in their head and the cold, twisting panic in their stomach were by far the more unpleasant of the physical sensations Keita was feeling, and work was engaging enough to take their mind partly off their bladder.

The second hour was different.

Because you see, the second hour was the last one before the 11 o'clock break would be pushed out to enby bathroom cards. Keita had always had a large bladder, and during the more lenient times when enbies got three bathroom breaks per day (or even, rarely, four) they generally got along okay. At three per day, they could use the bathroom when their bladder got full. They didn't need to participate in the mad rush enbies made for every public bathroom in the city the minute the breaks went out; they could hold it, wait for the chaos to die down, and then stand up from whatever they were doing and calmly, casually wander over to the nearest restroom to relieve themself. Sometimes they even waited a while longer, just to show off their composure to anyone who happened to be watching. They prided themself on this. The public didn't need to know how badly they needed to pee. It was their own business.

But at two pee breaks per day — and it absolutely tore them up inside to admit this, but it was true — at two pee breaks per day, they just couldn't control it. Maybe it was physical, more likely it was psychological, but whatever the reason, when Keita was limited to two bathroom breaks per day, they always broke down in the last hour. They'd squirm in their seat, procrastinate on whatever they were supposed to be doing, give dumb answers when people asked them questions, and generally show just about every sign imaginable of someone who was bursting to go. Even at work. They couldn't wait half a day between breaks without letting the whole world know what a desperate state their bladder was in.

Well, they'd thought today. Maybe since I know I won't be able to pee at work, the effect won't kick in, and I'll be able to get through the day without my bladder giving me too much trouble.

They were wrong. And when eleven o'clock came, when the moment arrived at which their bladder was expecting to finally empty its oversized, overloaded, overfull load of hot piss into the toilet, and it didn't happen... when that moment came and went, Keita only got wronger.

So, at around quarter past eleven, after 75 minutes of writhing in agony, watching cat videos at their desk, and fruitlessly poking at their months-old draft of an open letter to Prince Ben (which one day they swore they'd publish, even if it landed their enby butt right in enby jail) they snapped up from their seat, stamped their foot on the floor in disgust, and made their way over to Grace's cubicle.

Knock knock. The cubicles didn't have doors, but they rapped their knuckles on the wall to get the woman's attention before coming through the empty doorway.

"Hey," they said.

"Hi. What's up?" In their desperation, Keita didn't notice that Grace didn't seem particularly comfortable herself, despite the fact that, since a couple of weeks ago, trans women's cards were getting a pee break at 11am as well — one of their four daily ones, on the current schedule.

"Um." Keita was trying to keep their composure, but the crushing urge to pee overwhelmed them, and their legs crossed themselves before they could stop it. "Listen. I have a problem."

"What is it?"

They hated themself for doing this, and blushed with the embarrassment of it, and then hated themself for blushing. But it was really, really a dire emerency. They were going to piss their pants.

"I... listen... I need... I... hhh, fuck. Sorry. I..." They looked at the floor. "I was wondering if... I could... if you could swipe me into the bathroom."

Grace cocked her head at her coworker. "Aren't you nonbinary? Or, oh, did your schedule get even worse?"

"No, it, I mean, I know the pee breaks just went out for us, I, I just... I lost my card."

"Oh, dear." Grace stood up from her seat, crossed her legs, and leaned against her desk. She put a hand on Keita's shoulder. "Hun, really? You lost it?"

Keita's cheeks burned hotter than the sun. "Iwasdrunk,..,," they mumured.

"Have you ordered a new one yet?"

They shook their head. Ordering a new one would invalidate the old one instantly... and then the new one would be mailed to them. Anyone who had ever lost track of their piss card knew that option was a joke, at least until you knew the old one was gone for good. Tears were beginning to well up in Keita's eyes. Their bladder was a time bomb.

"Keita... I'm sorry, hun, but I've already used my 11 o'clock break. I'm sorry. I don't have any stored up right now. I wish I could help you."

"O-okay," Keita said, choked up. "Thanks."

Grace started saying something else too, but Keita had already turned tail and was rushing back to their own cubicle, desperate not to embarrass themself any further. They'd just go home. They'd tell Peter they were sick to their stomach — not that far from the truth, really — and that they needed to take the rest of the day off. And then after that, it didn't matter. Whether they kept their bladder under control or not, it didn't matter. They wouldn't be at work. They could handle anything as long as it didn't happen at—

"Keita?"

They started, and looked up from their feet (where their gaze had been fixed for the past ten minutes or so) to see exactly the man they had just been thinking about. Peter.

"P-peter! Um." They snapped their legs together and put their hand on the wall for balance, their whole body tensing up with the sudden challenge of needing to contain their desperation and wear a mask of professionalism. This time their legs actually cooperated. As embarrasing as it was to show weakness in front of Grace, she would understand. Peter was no jerk either, but as the proud, typically-ungrateful carrier of a piss card with infinite breaks permanently loaded onto it, there were certain things you just couldn't expect him to understand. Not without some hefty trust being established first, at least.

"Keita. Listen, do you want to keep this on the down-low? I don't want to embarrass you, we can talk about in my office if you like."

"Um. Um. ... Um." Keita's bladder threatened to spray piss all over their jeans right at that very moment. They wrenched it back under control.

"Hey um, I overheard some of what you were saying to Grace just now. I heard you lost your card. If you need to take a personal day, or a- a health day, a sick day, then that's okay. You can take the rest of the day off."

"Um."

"Would you like to do that?"

Keita could hardly imagine a nightmare they'd enjoy less than the one they were currently having, but they put on the calmest face they could, and tried to salvage the situation.

"Sure," they said. "I mean, heh, unless you want to give me one of yours?"

Peter's face turned serious and concerned. He looked left, right, and behind him, and then back to Keita, his body adopting a more formal posture. Whoops.

"Keita," Peter said. "That is illegal."

Yeah. Yeah! NO FUCKING SHIT IT'S ILLEGAL YOU FUCKER! YOU ABSOLUTE DIPSHIT!! I KNOW!!! YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW IT'S ILLEGAL BY NOW?! FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!!

"R-right," Keita said.

"It is forbidden under both federal and local law for any individual to unlock a restroom for any other individual besides themself."

"Right. S-sorry, b-bad joke."

Peter nodded. "All right then," he said. "Yes. No worries. So, you would like to take the rest of the day off?"

"Y... yes, I think so, please."

"Okay. Sure. Have a restful rest of your day, then, Keita. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

So they ran back to their cubicle, grabbed their backpack, and rushed out the door.

"Fucking bathroom card. Fucking Grace. Fucking Peter. Fucking cis people. Fucking stupid Prince Asshole. Fucking readers. Fucking fuck. Fuck!"

Keita was muttering to themself as they walked along the sidewalk, a sloshy, frazzled mess. They had tried to take the bus home, but as they'd sat at the bus stop, they found that they were absolutely unable to compose themself for even five seconds. They'd been constantly scissoring their legs, crossing and uncrossing them, shifting from side to side, standing up and sitting down again, and even openly grabbing their crotch. Just being out in public in this state was already excruciatingly embarrassing, but when someone else had walked up and sat down on the bench across from them, they had given up and decided to walk home.

The sidewalks were pretty empty at this time of day, and it was starting to give Keita ideas despite themself. Their whole body was sore with the tension of holding their piss, but the penalty for peeing outside of a bathroom was generally a pretty steep fine, and the thought of giving even a single dollar to the regime if they got caught – the thought of giving them money for the crime of having to pee — was unbearable.

But when the first spurt of piss leaked out uncontrollably into their jeans, the calculus changed somewhat.

Keita stopped dead in their tracks, clutching their tum and twisting their legs around each other. The pain in their bladder was searing. The warm sensation trickling down their upper thigh was liquid humiliation. Everything about it was awful. They couldn't take it. They hobble-ran into the nearest alley, a thin, smelly corridor with an overflowing dumpster in it, ran behind it so as not to be visible from the street, and tore their pants out of the way, already leaking into them again as they did. When they finally let loose, the messy, intermittent trickles became a solid firehose.

For about ten seconds.

"Excuse me zir!"

"GAH FUCK!!!"

The authoritative tone of the call had been unmistakable. Only a cop would be capable of making the ostensibly respectful words sound so derisive, yet simultaneously so empty and mechanical. Summoning all the strength of a trash compactor into their pelvis, Keita stopped peeing, and began frantically getting themself decent again.

The man turned the corner around the dumpster and laid eyes on the guilty enby.

They finished buttoning up, and looked at him with a mix of shame and fury.

"Hi. Mind telling me what you were just doing back here?"

"..."

"If you're planning something, zir, I will remind you that using magic during a confrontation with a police officer is punishable by sentences beginning at eighteen months in prison."

"..."

"What's this on the ground, zir?"

"..."

"Is it urine? Is it your pee?"

"..."

"..."

"..."

The pair stared at each other, a picturesque microcosm of the dynamic between Laves and its entire nonbinary population. The officer's face was confident, formal, controlled, righteous; Keita's was flushed, pained, and mad as hell. And they still needed to pee.

"Right. I'm going to go ahead and print you a ticket, zir. Don't go anywhere. You can pay this at your local police station, or online." He took a small machine out of his pocket, typed some information into it, took a picture of Keita without warning them first, and then printed the ticket.

ticket_smaller.png.0777ec0943ad6234da44432cb92a06a0.png

"If you'd like to contest this, you have a week. Otherwise, you've got a month to pay it. All right?"

"..."

He nodded. "Run along, now. I'm not leaving you alone in this alley again."

Keita turned their back, and stalked away.

"Babe! Did you piss yourself?"

Keita slammed the door behind them as they came into the apartment.

"Babe."

"Shut up."

"Babe!" Hyun walked up and slung his arm around Keita's shoulders. "Babe."

Keita shrugged him off. "I'm taking a shower."

"Babe. Did you piss yourself?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Keita made their way into the bedroom, returned with a set of clean clothes, and disappeared into the bathroom for fifteen minutes. When they emerged, they were clad only in grey sweatpants and a black crop top. Hyun was waiting for them, an interested grin spread across his face.

"Hi babe."

"Hi."

"Did you pee your pants?"

Keita rolled their eyes and brushed past him into the living room.

"Keita!"

They grabbed his hand. "Come here, mister," they said, and dragged him over to the couch. They sat down, pulled Hyun onto the seat beside them, and scooted in so that their body was pressed up against his. The stress of the day had finally broken their brain, and had left them in that kind of mood. They pulled his hand onto their tum, and pressed down on it.

"Does it feel to you like I peed myself?" they asked.

Hyun's eyes fixated on his partner's body, and he gave their tum a squeeze. It was firm to the touch, and larger than usual. Their skin was taught over the massive water balloon inside. His eyes went wide, and he exhaled hard.

"M-maybe only a little?" he guessed.

Keita nodded. "Order me a new card, my love?"

"Y... yes, my love," Hyun cooed in return.

As he typed on his phone, fingers flying, Keita wrapped their arms around his torso and slumped over onto his lap. Their bladder was still a throbbing, aching mess, but the little bit they'd let out earlier had taken some of the edge off, and being with Hyun made it better. For all his faults, that pee-obsessed boy had completely stolen Keita's heart. The lucky bastard could date any enby in the kingdom and be drowning in fetish fuel every day of his life, but there was something different about the way he looked at Keita. It was there in his eyes even when they didn't need to pee. He was the one reason that having to hold their bladder wasn't all bad, the one person who was allowed to enjoy their plight. They would hold it for him even if Prince Ben and all those who’d come before had never been born. Suddenly Keita felt something poking at them from inside Hyun's pants, and they grinned. The boy was the hottest thing on two legs... and all the more so because they knew he thought the same of them.

"Done," he said, and threw his phone to the side. He put his hands on Keita's back and began gently scritching them. "How are you, my love?"

"Mmmmmmmmm..." They snuggled tighter.

Hyun slid his hand around to the front of Keita's torso again, to get another feel of their bladder. It was so round and protruded, the enby must have weighed five pounds more than normal just from the weight of the liquid. He squeezed it, rubbed it, massaged it, caressed it, and squeezed it some more. Keita's body shivered from the touches, and the waves of pressure their boyfriend’s hand was sending through them made them squirm and wriggle in his lap.

"Stoppppp..." they moaned, wanting nothing more than for him to continue. The pair had a safeword for times like this — you never knew when horniness would strike and you'd want to jump right in. Their hands were clawing at his body, pulling themself into him, burrowing into his legs, giving themself over to him, bladder and all. Hyun couldn't get enough of Keita's body, and Keita couldn't get enough of Hyun's. In these most intimate moments, they were able to put Piss Fascism out of their mind, to briefly forget the true cause of their bladder's perpetual woes. It was for him, it was for him, it was for him.

The lovers groped each other for twenty minutes, until at last the doorbell rang. Keita sat up to allow Hyun to answer the door, and crossed their legs. They were still averse to showing any desperation in front of strangers, but his constant squeezing and tormenting of their bladder had left them reeling; they needed to pee badly.

"Hey, Doordash."

"Hi, thanks!"

"Don't mention it, have a good one."

Hyun took the bags from the delivery bean and shut the door. The room filled with the smell of Chinese takeout.

Keita cocked their head at him as he came back to sit on the couch. "You ordered food?" they asked.

"Mhm!" Hyun said. "I got the veggie egg rolls you like." He unpacked the food from the bags, setting the takeout boxes on the table in front of them. There was enough food for two people. The gears turned in Keita's head.

"How... did... you know I would be home?" they asked.

"I ordered this after you got home, love."

"When?"

"Didn't you see me on the phone?"

"I... I thought you were ordering me a new bathroom card."

"Oh!" Hyun said. A mischivous grin spread across his face, and he reached into his pocket. Out came two silver-green cards, each with the blue raindrop insignia etched onto the front. He transferred one to his other hand, and held Keita's out to them. "You mean this?"

"What."

"Yeah, surprise! You don't need to wait, I've got your pee card right here."

"You found it and you didn't tell me??"

"I... kinda had it all day. Since the morning."

"WHAT."

"Yeah! You know, it was my day off and everything, and I figured, you know, why not spend it having a little fun with—" But suddenly he found he was talking to an empty room. The couch cushion next to him was still depressed with the weight of a person, but he was looking right through the air where that person would be. Invisible: when an enby casts this on themself in the middle of a conversation, you know you screwed up.

"Nah, come on Keita," Hyun said. "Don't be like that, you know I love you." He made a pouty face. "Come on, love, show me that beautiful body of yours again."

The couch cushion decompressed, and footsteps made their way across the room to the window, then back to the couch, then back to the window.

"Keitaaaaa," Hyun said. "Come on, babe, I'm not giving you this until you—"

But the card flew out of his hand before he could finish what he was saying, and floated over to the bathroom at a brisk walking speed.

"YOU'RE THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER!!!" screamed the air, and the bathroom door slammed shut.

 

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