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On the edge of telling my girlfriend


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Hi there,

So since I was 11-12 I have a high interest in wearing/peeing diapers and omorashi.
I love to see girly/cute woman hold their pee to the extreme, and pee their pants or diaper.
I am not an AB, only a diaper lover, but I do love when a women is acting like an adorable girl in her diaper, wearing pink etc.

I am almost 29 years old now, and I have a lovely girlfriend for 8 years now, she is a few years younger than I am.
She is (finally!!! :D) moving in this summer which I am very excited about, but it's gonna make things difficult when it comes to my diaper/pee fetish, so I am thinking about telling her.
She is a bit aware of the fact that I like to have sex when I or she has to pee, we push on each other's bladder sometimes, and she's sometimes teasing with 'Oooh you have a pee fetish dont you?'. Shes not trying to be mean though.

So I was thinking about a way to tell her.
There is some kind of cartoon on YouTube we both think is funny, and they also have a music video singing about a girl that likes poopsex, it's quite funny.
Sometimes I randomly play it out very loud for the laughs. (I am not into poopsex or pooping in diapers though!).
So I was thinking about playing that video again, and then ask her 'What would you do if I had a fetish like that, what would you do if I would say right now that I have a poop fetish? Would you leave me? How would you deal with that?'
This way I could see how she would react and decide if I am going to tell her about my two fetishes or not.
If I decide to do it, I would start with the pee fetish first, because she is partly aware of that. I would explain her the fetish goes further for me, and that I fantasize about woman peeing their pants, especially her.
Then I would explain that it goes it combination with a diaper fetish and all. That I like to wear them, but that it is mostly because I want so simulate how it would feel for a woman, and sometimes for convienence and relaxing. But I would also tell her that if she doesn't want to do anything with it, it would be completely fine, she goes first, ALWAYS.
Of course my dream and fantasy would be to share this fetish with her. Let her drink lots of water, putting a diaper on her. Since she has pee shyness(paruresis) it can become even more interesting. Holding till she can't hold back and let her pee her diaper and have sex. But if she refuses, I'll accept that, I don't wanna push her.

The only thing that is holding me back though is the fact that I am a bit older and I am her 'man'.
I'm afraid she is going to look different towards me because I like diapers, I might be no longer the man that protects her. She might think I am a vulnerable little boy after telling her.

How did you guys deal with that?

Edited by blackdiaper (see edit history)
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If there was ever a time I wished real life had a Save / Load feature, it was telling my best friend. It was not my first choice but there were extenuating circumstances and I knew that delaying the inevitable would not improve the outcome.

I used very precise technical terminology, almost clinical, and to this day I have no idea if that made it better or worse.

We are still best friends years later. The topic has only come up one time since I first explained it. That was well over a decade ago.

Any sort of romantic relationship, of course, adds another layer of complexity. Be honest, but stick to generalities and clarify with details if and when you get asked about them. Otherwise you risk overwhelming somebody with details while they're still trying to process the main point. That's my take.

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3 minutes ago, DrBorderline said:

If there was ever a time I wished real life had a Save / Load feature, it was telling my best friend. It was not my first choice but there were extenuating circumstances and I knew that delaying the inevitable would not improve the outcome.

I used very precise technical terminology, almost clinical, and to this day I have no idea if that made it better or worse.

We are still best friends years later. The topic has only come up one time since I first explained it. That was well over a decade ago.

Any sort of romantic relationship, of course, adds another layer of complexity. Be honest, but stick to generalities and clarify with details if and when you get asked about them. Otherwise you risk overwhelming somebody with details while they're still trying to process the main point. That's my take.

I know exactly what you mean with the Save/load feature, I wish there was something like that indeed.
I don't want to lose her, never. She being my girlfriend saved my life, literally. (Due to depression).
That's why I want to start off by just asking what she would do IF i had a poopfetish for example.  The reason I chose that fetish is because I know she wouldn't like that, but what IF I had that fetish, would she dump me. If she says she wouldn't, I have some reassuring that she probably won't dump me for my diaper fetish. I'm almost sure that she won't dump me for my pee fetish because she already thinks I have some kind of pee fetish, but she doesn't know it goes a bit further than just having sex on a full bladder.

What would you call the generalities of all this?

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I'm actually thinking about telling her tonight through a call...
I had a very bad night of sleep just because I keep thinking about telling her, making my heartbeat raise and keeps me out of my sleep, very nervous.
I definitely don't want to do it over text, but a call would make it a bit easier than personal as well for me. I get ashamed very quickly in person.

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UPDATE:
So this just happened...

I sent her a TikTok video about fetishes, and I just asked the question 'What would you do if I had a weird fetish?'.
She responded 'Depends what kind'.
So I responded to her 'Well imagine an extreme one, like a poop fetish. What would you do if I'd tell you right now I had a poop fetish for example?'
I think she gave the best response I could wish for. She responded 'WellI wouldn't do anything with it, but if that would be your kink, go ahead, I wouldn't break up or anything. Everyone has a reason to do something'.


SO FAR SO GOOD!!!

So I told her I have a reason I slept badly last few nights, and that I am about to tell her a big secret of mine, a fetish I have.
She already said that shes might have an idea what it could be, but I said it is more than that. So I told her it's something I have since I was young, and that I want to be honest and open towards her, especially now we are going to live together.
After that she even said, literally: This could make our relationship even more exciting >:)'
She asked some questions like why I didn't tell her before, so I explained it's a big secret, which makes me feel vulnerable etc, and I didn't want her to find out herself.
So she asked if there were any objects involved, I told her yes, but I will explain it more tonight.
I  stated I have fantasies about her involving the fetish, but I also clearly stated that I don't want to push her, and if she doesn't want to get involved she doesn't have to, and I would be 100% fine with that.

So there is that, there is NO way back now.
We are going to call tonight. She already said I could text it to her aswell if I found it easier, but I said it's too much to just text.


To be continued...

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Edited by blackdiaper (see edit history)
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Alright then, update time:

So I told her. 
I started off saying it was quite a common thing, and I asked her if she could guess. She first thought I was into cute clothing style, which is true, and has partly to do with the fetish of course  but still. 
So I asked if she remembered the fact that I sometimes pushed on her bladder and she does that to me too, well that's a part of the fetish.
So I told her I was into omorashi, and she looked it up and read about it.
Her first response 'Oooohh... well I knew this about you! It's not a big deal and very common...'
So the next thing... the diaper fetish. I just started off if she knew about ABDL. She said she heard about it somewhere. So I showed her what it means and told her I am not the AB, but just the DL, and that I'm definitely not into pooping etc, just no1.

She said 'Well whatever works for you! It all make sense now too!'.
She started asking some questions about when I was wearing for the last time, if I sometimes wear an entire day, or if it is on my mind every single day. To the last I responded that sometimes I can be into it for an entire week, and then I don't want to think about it for a week or so, it all varies.

I also honestly told her that in all my fantasies shes in it, and that my big wish would be that she would wear as well.
She told me she isn't into it, and that she probably doesn't want to either because she is just not into it, she also doesn't always like to be pushed on her bladder either haha.
I told her that it is perfectly fine, and that many girlfriends aren't into it, but sometimes are still willing to explore it because their boyfriend really get turned on by it. 
So I told her if she would like to explore the fetish, she can just ask anything.
I asked if I need to keep it away from her, if she doesn't want to be involved or see it, she said she doesnt want to get involved for now, but she doesn't mind if she would see anything.

Because she did ask some questions, it seems like shes interested, so who knows what the future brings.

After I told her, she even continued talking about what we need to do when she comes to live here, that was really reassuring because that means she is not going to leave me. I love her, very much.


I wish I could keep talking about it with her, but I don't want to make her uncomfortable. 
I'm very excited in some way 

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Just now, LittleOtterPup said:

Good for you! That's awesome! She sounds super cool and understanding 🙂 Enjoy it and have some fun wearing around, just try your best to not be pushy 😅

I don't think I would wear when she's around. Feels a bit weird to me and I would feel ashamed, but it seems like she would be okay with it.
I told her that I don't think I would to that, I'd rather do it together instead.

There is hope though, time will tell.

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Hey, it's awesome that you dared to tell her your secret and that she dealt with this like an adult should do! I'm very happy to hear about a good outcome.

Of course getting involved in such a fetish is a different story, but a relationship still works without that. What I learned from my past is that it's important to not push each other. Some partners don't want to practise a fetish, but they're still ok with talking about it, while others don't even want it do be mentioned all the time. Some partners will get involved in a fetish and have fun with it, but don't take sexual pleasure from it (altough they'll still get that pleasure if they intend on turning you on). In case of my girlfriend, we do something like a "fetish exchange": If she does something that turns me on, I'll in turn get involved in her fetish and the other way around. From here on things can still evolve. And if not, you still have the understanding of each other.

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12 hours ago, Dwayne said:

Hey, it's awesome that you dared to tell her your secret and that she dealt with this like an adult should do! I'm very happy to hear about a good outcome.

Of course getting involved in such a fetish is a different story, but a relationship still works without that. What I learned from my past is that it's important to not push each other. Some partners don't want to practise a fetish, but they're still ok with talking about it, while others don't even want it do be mentioned all the time. Some partners will get involved in a fetish and have fun with it, but don't take sexual pleasure from it (altough they'll still get that pleasure if they intend on turning you on). In case of my girlfriend, we do something like a "fetish exchange": If she does something that turns me on, I'll in turn get involved in her fetish and the other way around. From here on things can still evolve. And if not, you still have the understanding of each other.

Thanks.
I know I shouldn't push her. I'll do my best.

I've seen her last weekend again and we've had the best (vanilla) sex in a while. I just wanted to show her how much I loved her, and that I really appreciate the way she's accepting how I am.

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