Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 17, 2022 ✨ Legendary Member Popular Post Share Posted February 17, 2022 8 thousand 8 hundred and thirty six days thinking about her I should have kissed her. I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. I was just about to then she looked at me nervously in the car and shyly said ‘I had better head in now. I really need a wee.” And that was why I never kissed her. 24 years of wondering: what if I had kissed her? Dec 19th 1997 The work’s Christmas meal, the Mandarin restaurant in the next town along. Same place every year and the same teasing from Sadie and Jaqueline. My fifth year in the printers. Not like your standard printers. Voice is different. It’s a voluntary organisation set up to help voluntary organisations. Confused? I guess they always were ahead of the times. Social enterprise is the modern title these days. Basically I design and print things for voluntary groups and organisations at a not for profit price. I do get paid. That was never up for debate. Sadie is lovely. Much older, big build woman, like your mum at work sort of person. She works part time and knows everyone that comes in, or at least makes out she does. Her memory isn’t quite what it used to be but she’s good at what she does and always bubbly and cheery. I think deep down we all need to work with a Sadie. I miss her even all these years later. Then there’s Jaqueline, tall, in her early twenties, friendly, peaceful and hard worker but so focussed on church stuff she’s not a threat to anyone. And she’s not my type anyway, not at all. Lovely girl, just not for me. Plus she’s got a boyfriend. So this work meal every year is a plus 1 thing and every year the teasing gets a little bit closer to my heart. Rub it in women why don’t you! Yes I’m still single at 27. I’m balding already, not overly tall and wear glasses. I’ve grown a beard and moustache to hide behind and I still live with my parents. What’s a guy like me meant to do with a plus 1 invite anyway? Unless I can bring my guitar? Now that might work. This year though they are both teasing relentlessly about this one girl. She’s becoming a regular here and what Sadie and Jaqueline don’t know is that I’m secretly infatuated with her. Not sexually, well not just that. More in a deep connection type friendship. She’s different. Probably too young for me. I really must stop thinking about her. It seems every time her image pops up in my mind or I read or see something and think about her she just somehow walks into the building. I first met her about 6 months ago. She popped in to our old building looking to photocopy something for a charity registered with us. I was so busy packing I just walked over to the photocopier and showed her how to use it but then just as she was leaving I realised that if someone else other than the contact we have for a charity comes in we need to get their details. It’s just for invoice purposes but also to check they are who they are. So I got her name and phone number off her and thought nothing more. Then we moved to the new building and she came in again. Just another customer really and I was busy. She started looking at a display of fancy paper and envelopes and then Jaqueline had to answer the phone so she waved me over to see to her. It’s wasn’t love at first sight or anything, or even infatuation for that matter. She was just a young girl in the enquire about something. I introduced myself and made light talk. She had a folder tucked under her arms and she was curious about the paper. “Is it only voluntary groups who can buy these and get things photocopied?” “Yes. Why do you ask?” “Oh don’t worry. I was just looking to make something for my gran for Christmas and really liked this paper.” “What is it you’re making? It’s not really the crafting sort of paper. You’d be better going to the art shop at the bottom cross for art paper. This is quality printing paper I’m afraid.” “It isn’t for crafting. I’m literally rubbish at that. It’s to print a poem to frame.” A poem? Now I was intrigued. “Like a famous poem?” “No. No. Just one I wrote myself.” She let me read it and that was it. Her writing had depth, wonder, beauty to it and before I knew it I had taken a piece of her chosen paper and smiled at her. “Were you thinking of doing, hand writing or photocopying? I’m afraid you’d be better writing it darker for photocopying as otherwise it won’t show over the ingrain so well. Or were you thinking printing?” “Oh I hadn’t really thought. Maybe writing it on Word. Can I just put this paper into the printer at home?” “Depends on your printer. You in a hurry?” “Not really, why?” “I could type this and print it for you if you’d like?” “Seriously?” “Only because it’s such a beautiful poem. Did you really write this?” She nodded and I spent a lovely half hour with her as I typed up her poem and we messed about with fonts and I printed the finished piece out. I found out so much about her that day. She was called Heidi, she was 18 and she was at university studying to be a teacher. But the most significant thing she shared was that she wrote poetry. I desperately wanted to ask if I could read more of her poems but chickened out. Another regret. Anyway, I’m taking way too long to get to my point, aren’t I? So I secretly, ashamedly I confess, copied her details off the contact cards on Sadie/Jaqueline’s desk before closing and after over a week of building up the courage I began writing to Heidi and sending her my own poems. Actually some of them were songs but she didn’t need to know that technically. I never told her who I was and I always used quality paper, the expensive stuff. Because she was that type of girl. I had a new pseudonym: ‘the mystery poet’. Of course when Jaqueline and Sadie teased me about asking Heidi to the Christmas meal they knew none of this and only knew this girl was coming in for the smallest of reasons these days and asking for me. One time she stayed in the print room chatting to me while I worked for over half an hour. She was such a breath of fresh air, so smart and lovely and…so stuck in my head all the time. I eventually did ask her and amazingly she agreed. I guess that was obvious since I almost kissed her but it was still a shock to me. Work does were rather an intimidating thing with this company. They were all like family and talked shop non stop even at Christmas. I was sure Heidi would take a run for the hills and be bored the entire time. She surprised me though, especially only being 18. She held her own, joining in like she was with long lost friends and I found myself drawn to her more and more. I knew there was something between us, a friendship, a connection, but I blew it. I drove her back to her parents and as we sat outside in my mini I let my hand move slightly off of the gear switch and towards hers. Then I got scared. What if I ruined the connection we had? What if this wasn’t what she wanted? She was at university, she had plans, for all I know she might even be seeing someone. I liked her, not just in a sexual way but in a deep appreciation and affection way. But yes I really, really, really wanted to kiss her too. But the moment passed and she wriggled in the front seat as I had to blink and look away. “I had better head in now. I really need a wee.” I got out, held the door open for her and that was it. I went home, wrote her a song and got way too turned on thinking about her, especially her little wriggle in my car. We talked on the phone a lot and I made this really long tape recording for her of songs I liked and stuff I played on my guitar. I sent her more ‘mystery poet’ poems too. She came less and less to the printers though and then one day, less than six months later, I heard on the grape vine that she had a boyfriend. She popped in a few months later to show me her engagement ring. I stopped writing to her and took Lyndsey to her wedding. It broke my heart seeing her get married but I walked away and kissed Lyndsey that night and pretended my life was great. 8,836 days ago now. I’ve regretted not kissing her ever since and never stopped thinking about the way she wriggled in my car that day and the way we connected. No-one has ever came close to Heidi. ————- 17th February 2022 I’m still living at my parents house aged 52. Never did marry. Still playing my guitar. Still writing songs and poems. Left the printers in 2015 and been self employed since. Dad’s really getting on now and mum died a number of years ago. Dad wants a letter posted so I put on my coat and shoes and walked down to the post office on the Main Street. It’s not a big town this so I wasn’t expecting a little white car to pull up and ask directions. It’s actually hard to get lost here to be honest. She pushed her window down and called over in a friendly voice. “Excuse me, you couldn’t tell me where Saltire Crescent is could you?” I jump and turn to look at her. That’s my street. No-one comes to my street unless they are Amazon or a supermarket delivery firm or the postman. I politely give her directions then pause. “What number are you looking for?” “32.” That’s my parents house. That’s where I live. I do a double take of the woman in shock. “If it’s a parcel you’re delivering I can take it for you. That’s my address.” She looks at me smiling. After all these years surely it can’t be? “Euan?” “Heidi?” “I feel so embarrassed now. I was hoping to pop this through your letterbox and drive away quickly. We weren’t meant to meet. You probably don’t even remember me?” “Heidi? Long time no see! You in a hurry?” She smiles. Was this not what I said to her back in 1997? Then she laughs. “We’ll I’m on a double yellow line and need to get back for the kids getting out of school this afternoon but that’s not for a while yet. I can’t believe I found you! How are you doing? We must catch up?” “There’s a new Starbucks a mile up the road. Never been yet.” “Jump in if you want. I can’t believe it’s you! Euan Frame! After all these years!” I open the door and get in. Her car is tidy and fresh smelling and I’m suddenly nervous. I’m getting in a lady’s car at 57 and I’m nervous. How crazy is that! I direct her to Starbucks and she parks up. I unclip my belt to get out but she just sits there quietly. I suddenly remember she had a letter for me. I’m desperate to know what it’s about but scared to ask her. “You must think I’m a stalker or something, finding your address online and writing to you.” “I hadn’t even thought about it until you said.” She’s blushing and gone quiet but then she looks at me, the bald man with glasses and a beard and moustache. A man who hasn’t even ever left home or got married or ever had kids. “I’ve looked for you loads over the years. Thought about you loads. Then I came across a box in the loft and I needed to know. You…you were the mystery poet weren’t you?” I smile and gulp. If only she knew how many more poems I had written for her, how many songs I had composed but had no-one to sing to, no-one to send them to. “Did you really never guess?” “I think I liked the idea of it being a mystery. I loved my poems and songs so much. I was broken when the mystery poet stopped writing.” “You got married. It didn’t seem right.” “I guess not. God I loved those poems so much. Took my breath away reading them again. And listening to your tape again.” “What? You still have that?” “Of course! Not easy to find a way to play it these days but I kept everything you ever sent. I just wish I could have kept the phone calls too. We talked a lot and shared so much.” “We did.” “I felt so connected to you. I…I fell in love with you you know.” I turn and stare at her. It’s so long ago now she may as well know the truth. “I was in love with you too.” “But that Christmas? That works meal? You never even kissed me.” “I couldn’t. I wanted to so much but I was scared to ruin what we had together. Then when you…actually best I don’t go there.” We’re looking right at each other and she’s every bit as I remember her. Do I dare share what really stopped me kissing her? It’s been over 24 years since then and she’s married with kids now. Does it matter anymore? God she’s beautiful and lovely still, so young looking despite the odd strand of grey hair, her eyes deep and trustworthy, her smile open and sweet, just like she always was. “I quite like the privacy of the car. Fancy a drive through coffee?” I pay, like I should really, and we sit back in the same spot staring at the back of some random building drinking our coffee as she tells me how she never ever forgot me. She got married and had kids but was never really happy. Her husband was depressed and lazy and sex was scarce. I’m listening and drinking and still in shock that I’m actually sitting right beside the woman I haven’t stopped thinking about in over 24 years! Time seems to freeze as we catch up on the lost years and her voice makes my heart come alive. Then she wriggles. The same cute little wriggle I’ve fantasised about all these years. “I should head inside the shop. I really need a wee!” I don’t have a door to hide behind now. I can’t drive home sweating profusely and shouting at myself because I’m so turned on I can’t believe I never kissed the girl I’m besotted with. I slide my hand over hers on the gear stick and look right at her. I should ask her if it’s ok. She hasn’t mentioned if she’s even divorced or still likes me or… I kiss her. Really kiss her. And it’s way more than I ever dreamt it would be. My heart is dancing a melody and my body is shaking. I should stop. I gently pull away and look at her but she’s beaming and blushing and giggling. “I wish you’d done that 24 years ago Euan. I’ve wanted it every day since!” There’s so much I should say but then she does that wriggle and I’m putty in her hands. “I really need a wee but can you…would you kiss me again first? I want to remember it like I do your poems, your letters and all your phone calls.” So I kiss her again. This time even more intensely. I’ve waited 8,836 days to do this and I’m not regretting it again. The fact she really wants to pee is the icing on the cake. Once we stop kissing I might even tell her how incredibly sexy that is and how her saying that to me years ago made me so hard I practically came on the drive back to my parents. No woman has done that to me since. No-one. ————- stinklerus, Despguy123, LilMiss and 8 others 8 3 Quote Link to comment
rebeljaffa 562 Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 Two from two this week! Another winner. There's hope for everybody then, but eight thousand, eight hundred and thirty six is a very long time to keep the dream alive!! I aren't even sure if I have that many days left 😂 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 17, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 17, 2022 44 minutes ago, rebeljaffa said: Two from two this week! Another winner. There's hope for everybody then, but eight thousand, eight hundred and thirty six is a very long time to keep the dream alive!! I aren't even sure if I have that many days left 😂 There’s more to come on this one. One thing I can say is that this is based on a true story so there’s always hope. LilMiss and david_578 1 1 Quote Link to comment
wannawatch 255 Posted February 17, 2022 Share Posted February 17, 2022 Personally I think you've really outdone yourself here It's.. beautiful. Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 17, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Popular Post Share Posted February 17, 2022 How far do you go with someone you’ve dreamt of being with for 24 years? I know how far I want to go in my head, though my hormones are fighting for so much more. Besides the fact we’re sitting in a Starbucks car park in the town I live in and the car isn’t exactly a limousine I also don’t want to push Heidi any more than I already am. So she did actually love me over 24 years ago but things might be different now? You can never assume anything. She’s not holding back with her tongue mind you and fighting against my own body is getting more and more difficult. Her lips taste of strawberries and her hair smells of mango. The mixture is tantalisingly delicious and the warmth of her tongue against my pallet is sending heat waves right down my spine (and beyond). There was none of this with Lindsey, or Helen, or Molly. Things with them only went so deep really, like buying a chocolate chip cookie and only finding two tiny chips of chocolate in it. Heidi…Heidi is like a double chocolate cookie covered in extra chocolate which melts in your mouth making you yearn for the next bite. I gently put my hand on her hair accidentally knocking her clip out and finding her hair suddenly in my eyes. Heidi isn’t upset, thankfully, as she pulls away from my mouth smiling at me while effortlessly grabbing her hair back again and tying it in a scrunchie that she must have had on her wrist. Incredible woman. Her face changes quickly though as I notice her hand slide down to..well I ought not to be looking there really but…but…gulp. She’s wearing pattered black and while leggings and a black polo neck and I can already predict what she’s going to say and I plan to savour every word. “Thank you. Now please don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back but I really must go for that wee now. I’ve been wanting to go since before I stopped you to ask for directions! That coffee hasn’t helped at all!” I smile. She can’t read my mind can she? I have my arm covering my upper leg so she can’t (hopefully) see how hard I am. Go? Apart from the fact it’s a fair bit of a walk home (though not that far that I can’t do it if I wanted to) I have waited thousands of days to see Heidi again so I’m most definitely staying where I am..until either of us really has to be somewhere else that is. I gaze at Heidi as she slides out the car and marches towards the front doors. Just thinking of her bursting is making me hyperventilate as I cover my head in my hands and try my best to calm down before she gets back, words floating across my mind forming lines of songs and poems I know I will be writing as soon as I get home again. Words and phrases all about Heidi. All about Heidi… I’ve somehow managed to calm by the time she comes back looking so much more relaxed. I’m hoping we can pretend her holding herself and pronouncing her need to me then marching hurriedly across the car park never happened, not because I didn’t enjoy it but because I enjoyed it way too much! I don’t want to scare her off. Not now. Not after waiting this long to meet her again. But she smiles at me as she gets back into the driver’s seat. “Oh thank goodness they had a ladies! Have you ever been so desperate for something that you think you might burst? When, even after you get what you wanted so badly, you still feel..almost giddy? I think I seriously underestimated quite how much I had to go! I felt like I was weeing for forever! Sorry about that!” So much for trying to forget about it then! She’s more relaxed though now and sort of..excited looking. Her eyes are sparking and she’s chattier too. “I can’t get over meeting you today Euan! I really was planning to just post the letter and drive away.” “What…what made you suddenly look for me again? And want to write to me?” “It’s stupid really. It was my birthday the other week and my kids..well you know what kids are like. I mean even if they did get me anything, which they didn’t, it would be my money anyway really since it’s me who gives them pocket money. I felt a bit…well miffed I guess. My husband ‘forgot’, though we don’t live together these days anyway and he barely ever remembered even when we did. My parents have both passed away and my brothers never bother. Well they expect me to remember their birthdays of course, but mine? Nah, mine is just another day. My sister sent me an Amazon voucher for £20. That was it. Some Facebook messages on my wall, but not sure those really count? Anyway I guess I was feeling sorry for myself and when I do that I tend to sort out stuff. Sort of deflecting my frustration as you will. So I sorted some of the old box games and jigsaws and boxed them up to put in the loft and that’s when I came across the box with all your letters and the cassette. I spent almost a full day rereading them and felt an idiot for not realising all those years ago that you were the mystery poet. I was sure you were but then…well I just wanted to see how you were I guess. How life was treating you? I started wondering if you’d ever got married or had kids? I googled you, again, and when I found an address I decided to just go for it. Nothing ventured nothing gained I suppose.” She pauses to look me in the eye and smile. “I’m so glad I did now. I can’t get over how…amazing…you look still. Exactly how I remember you. I always did love your bald head you know.” My hand instinctively goes to my head. I’ve been bald since my early twenties and it’s often been a real issue for me and hard to accept. I never ever thought anyone would find it attractive. I feel a little self conscious all of a sudden but Heidi leans over to kiss me on the cheek. “I hope we can stay in touch again. I’d really like that.” “I’d really like that too.” Heidi leans down into the pocket of her car door picking up a piece of paper, looking at it then looking around, presumably for a pen. “Can you see if there’s a pen in the glove box please Euan? Thanks.” I open the glove box just as a pen rolls out onto the floor. Closing the glove box I hand the pen to Heidi as she scribbles something down and rips the paper to hand me a bit. I gaze at the ripped bit of paper immediately thinking back to the card that was once in the old fashioned ring address book on the office table of the printers years ago and which I tore out and kept so I could write to Heidi. Her surname has changed, and her address obviously too. I even have a phone number too! I blink, scared it’s all a bit of a dream, my hands shaking. “Can I have your details Euan? Is that ok? I won’t hassle you, I promise.” I take the paper and pen from her, desperate to reply, ‘you can hassle me as much as you like. In fact please do!”, but I refrain and shakily write down my details quietly instead. “I guess I had better drop you back home so I can get back home in plenty time for the school run. It’s made my day seeing you again, even if I did nearly wet myself because I didn’t want to stop kissing you to go for a wee!” I rest my arm over my crotch again. She never saw how hard she made me 24 years ago and I’m still trying to hide it even now. I mean it’s difficult enough just seeing her after all this time but then that kiss..and her talking about how much she had to pee and her earlier wriggle…I turn and clip my belt back on as the engine starts, concentrating only on my breathing and words of songs in my head. I’ve been hard many times in life before but not like this. Not so sweaty, dry mouthed and needy that I want to cum right this very second being driven along the high street of the town I’ve lived in all my life. I was much more controlled at 27 than I am now at 51. But then I hadn’t kissed Heidi then or heard her talking about almost wetting herself had I? Thank goodness I’ve reached home at last. I want to kiss Heidi goodbye but just like all those years ago I can’t. Doing so this time would have the same effect it would have had the night of the Christmas work meal when I first took her out and that might just ruin everything all over again. I can’t risk that. I can’t risk kissing her goodbye…again! stinklerus, rebeljaffa, wannawatch and 4 others 5 2 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 18, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Popular Post Share Posted February 18, 2022 So I smile at her, close the car door just like I did that cold December evening and walk alone into the only house I’ve ever lived in hearing my elderly dad shouting, “Is that you Euan?” “Yes it’s only me dad.” I go straight upstairs, rush to the bathroom, find myself totally unable to do what I came in for because I’m so stiff and hard, wash my hands and then run to my bedroom closing the door behind me. I flop onto my single bed grabbing the pencil and notebook on my bedside cabinet and begin writing out some of the words racing around my head. My hands are sweating so much the pencil keep sliding out my grip and my handwriting is so messy even I can’t read it. It’s no use. I put the paper and pencil back down, take a few steps across my room and grab my acoustic guitar. After quickly checking it’s in tune I slide my bedside cabinet drawer open and switch on my iPad to record. The words and music flow easily as I close my eyes thinking of Heidi, thinking of the kiss, the feel of her hand, her needing the bathroom…I’m emotional now and not just singing and playing but sort of bouncing, on the bed. My arm is hitting on my pillow so I stop and grab it and straddle over it, still playing, singing, rocking to the music, consumed by the lyrics, my thoughts, my memories. I’m sort of jerking to the rhythm, rubbing back and forth against my own pillow, my fingers tight on the guitar strings, my voice husky and guttural. You were better than a million dreams The way you spoke, the spark of your eye, Worth the wait and more it seems The way you were moving it makes me ask why… Why did I hang back, why did I wait? Why did I drive away when you looked so great? Why did I give up the closeness we had? Why didn’t I kiss you, I must have been mad… My body is so tense, so needy, so turned on that I’m repeating the chorus as I hump my own pillow knowing exactly what it’ll do and unable to stop myself. My underwear is so warm and wet and clinging to me like clingfilm sticks to itself, my mouth so dry, my head thumping. I haven’t been this needy since that fateful day in 1997. This was why I never kissed her! She consumes me too much, makes me lose control of myself. Suddenly I remember the iPad and click the recording off. I’ll play it back later and cringe. I might even delete that one. I’ll do that once I’ve showered and changed..and peed! That’s what I tried to do earlier and couldn’t because I was too aroused. I toss my guitar gently on my bed, stumble to the bathroom and pull my wet clothing down to my ankles in front of the toilet. Oh what a relief! Did it feel this good for Heidi earlier? Remembering her remarks about still feeling giddy even after you’ve released that sums up perfectly how I feel right this minute. Giddy. Giddy with excitement, with possibility, with memories of earlier today that carry me high on a cloud. That kiss. It was so worth waiting those 8 thousand 8 hundred and thirty six days for. So worth it. I sing more in the shower, love songs and erotic songs about Heidi needing to wee as the warm water soothes me and relaxes me. I’ll need to make dad and myself some tea soon but first I need to find that good paper again. It’s so much easier to write than say it in person. I want to explain, finally, why I didn’t kiss her. I only hope she understands… wether, rebeljaffa, stinklerus and 4 others 6 1 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 19, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 19, 2022 The words pour out onto the paper so much easier than they ever come out my mouth, unless I’m singing and playing guitar that is. By the time I feel I’m finished it’s three sides of A4 paper and as I read over it I get nervous all over again. What if I’ve been too honest? I mean there’s definitely a line you shouldn’t cross especially after waiting over 24 years to tell someone something. But then I see a photo of my parents and myself on my bedroom drawers facing me. Mum always freely told me how she felt about me, how much she loved me, how proud she was of me even when I didn’t feel worthy of any of her praise. I, on the other hand, always found telling her I loved her so hard. It made me feel embarrassed and vulnerable and saying it out loud left me feeling exposed even though it was my mum. When she was in the hospice I wrote my thoughts down and read them to her but by then I could only just hold her hand as she was too weak to speak. Writing is just what I do. I fold the paper carefully, slide it into a matching envelope and leave it sitting unsealed while I go and make tea for dad and myself. We eat together in the kitchen, like always, and I clean up with dad and then leave him to his programmes and whatever else he does and take a tea to my room as always. I switch my computer on but then see the letter and reread it again and again. I know I could text her or call her but there’s stuff in the letter I just can’t yet say. I’ll post it in the morning. The problem is I can’t stop thinking about her. I pick up my guitar and write another song then just lie in my bed thinking and staring at the ceiling. What if I had just kissed her all those years ago? But what if I can rekindle that all over again and after finally kissing her today she’s still keen? What if she reads the letter and thinks I’m a freak? I mean what will she think hearing that her saying casually she needed to pee caused me to panic so much I had to race home before my body embarrassed me? She’ll think I’m a freak. I’ve blown it again! I seal the envelope by pulling the paper off the sticky top and pressing it down. Expensive envelopes are like that. None of this licking stuff. The next morning I walk back to the post office, buy an entire book of first class stamps and post the letter, pausing as I have my hand right inside the post box ready to change my mind. Then I go home, do some work and try to forget about her. Who am I kidding? I stare at the ripped piece of paper with her details on and do what everyone does these days: I google her! Oh my word! Oh my word! I read and read and read until my eyes are sore. So Heidi has been busy! Very busy! There’s nothing about her husband though, everything I read is about her or her children. She’s been right there, the exact opposite of hiding, in the local paper, even on TV and yet I never ever saw her. How was that even possible? She’s made a bit of a name for herself it seems. Writes a highly popular parenting blog and is very open and honest. Seeing photos of her just makes me admire her and feel drawn to her even more. Her smile, her different hair styles over the years, the depth and emotion of her writing. She’s everything I thought she would be and more besides. Amazing, wonderful, clever and so beautiful. She doesn’t need me. Why on earth did I even post that stupid letter? Four days pass and I am getting more and more infatuated by her. I’m addicted to her public Facebook page even though I don’t have a Facebook account refreshing constantly in the hope she’ll post something else. I’ve started reading her blog from the very first entry. I laugh, and smile and cry at her journey. I feel I know her somehow. I write more songs and poems about her, how strong she is, how much I admire her, thanking her for making me feel so much happier even though her blog is clearly aimed at other parents like her. I won’t tell you all her story, though she’s written it publicly anyway, but she’s been through a lot, her children have too, but she’s not bitter, not sad. Just using her life and experience to help others while I stare around at my room wondering what on earth I have ever achieved in my life. She doesn’t need me. It was probably for the best we never kissed all those years ago. Probably for the best. Who on earth is phoning at this time of night? I glance at my watch as I race downstairs for the house phone to not disturb dad. It’s almost 10pm. He’ll be in bed. If this is a wrong number or crank call I will be so angry. Jeez…10pm! Seriously who phones someone at 10pm? Ah. Why do I not give her my mobile number? Oh…she got my letter. Ah….. rebeljaffa, arg08, ola93 and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 19, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Popular Post Share Posted February 19, 2022 At first it’s awkward. Of course it is. I keep thinking did she get my letter? What does she think of me? I can’t bear to ask her. It’s too…embarrassing. She talks away though like we did last week in her car. When she asks about Sadie and Jaqueline I update her that Sadie passed away a good number of years ago now and the last I heard Jaqueline was working in a Christian bookshop a few towns away. It’s only as I’m talking that I even wonder how she remembered their names. I comment about that and hear her laugh a little on the other end of the phone. It’s such a natural refreshing sound which makes me smile sitting in the living room of my parent’s house with the living room door closed so I don’t wake dad. I’m amazed when she tells me how she used to park across the road from where I worked longing to come in and see if I was there but feeling she couldn’t. I can’t help asking why she didn’t. I’d have loved to have seen her anytime. “Because…well it’s a long time ago isn’t it? I met someone else and he was so keen to settle down. He was lovely and sweet and…well he was safe and everything but I still couldn’t stop thinking of you. This must sound crazy but I still really fancied you so much and I missed you. I missed my mystery poet. I missed our phone calls. I missed you. I actually used to dream about us kissing.” I mutter something hoping she doesn’t hear but she does anyway. “Me too. Me too.” “Can I tell you something Ewan? I’m all embarrassed here and stuff but it’s easier not seeing you to say this. But when we kissed on Friday. It was…it was way better than I ever thought it would be. There I said it!” “Same”, I just about manage to say, my mouth dry, my cheeks red and my body sweating. I’m so warm in fact that I get up off the sofa and go to the kitchen for some water. Even on the phone I feel embarrassed. And that’s without any mention of the letter. She hasn’t even mentioned that. Not even hinted. I’m way too nervous to ask. Thankfully she changes the subject asking if I still have my little red mini. I loved that car and can’t believe she even remembers what I drove! We start talking about cars, then she tells me about having a car crash a few years ago. I nod because I know all about it. She wrote about it on her blog and how it affected her children too. I can’t help thinking what if she had died? It was quite a crash and the photos on her blog were terrifying. One thing leads to another and back in the living room I notice the wall clock and realise we’ve already been chatting over an hour! And there’s still be no word about wether she got my letter! Finally she asks if I still play the guitar. That’s when I get more animated saying I absolutely do and then hesitantly mentioning quietly that I even wrote a song for her after we met again on Friday. She sounds so animated and touched by this asking if she can hear it. Forgetting all about what happened when I wrote it and recorded it I quickly say I have it saved on my iPad and she replies asking if I can send her it. She rattles off her email address and I write it down on a post-it note on the coffee table. I promise to send it to her later and then she goes quiet. Has she fallen asleep? It’s way past 11pm so it wouldn’t surprise me. Then she says it. Like a whisper; a sexy, seductive, but happy whisper. “Ewan…I got your letter.” “Oh…oh…” “I loved it!” “You…you…but…” “Don’t sound so concerned Ewan. And don’t ever feel bad about how something makes you feel ok! Never! Have you honestly worried about that for over 24 years?” “Yes. Yes I have.” “Have you had other relationships? You didn’t tell any of them?” It seems crazy but I tell her about Lyndsey and Helen and Molly, how I met them, how long I was with them, how none of them were like her. “None of them were the sort of person I could ever dream of sharing what I shared with you. None of them had any idea that seeing a girl with a very full bladder was my ultimate nemesis, my biggest turn on ever. Kissing them was nice and sex was good with Molly (I never even got to that point with the other two), but there wasn’t the same connection, the depth of understanding and”…I can’t seem to find the words as I’m speaking…if onlyI had my guitar down here…”there wasn’t that extra something they gave me, especially when you wriggled and said you needed to wee, sheesh that first time you told me that…” “What if I told you that right now, while I’m sitting on my own couch in just my silk nighty and knickers, with not even a bra on, that I was…perhaps…holding myself because I really need a wee so bad.? What if I said I’d been drinking tea for hours before I called you hoping we’d talk long enough that I’d be wriggling and squirming listening to you and talking to you whilst I was perhaps bursting for the bathroom?” “I….I….” “It’s ok to tell me your honest thoughts Ewan. Just think about what you would say if you were writing me a letter right now, if you were singing about me like this..” “Heidi…I need to go…” “Ewan..it’s ok…don’t go…please…” “But thinking about you…it’s…” “Ewan it’s ok. I promise. It’s honestly ok to feel like this. It’s ok to be…to be excited thinking of me like this. I don’t mind at all. In fact it’s really quite enjoyable…you know..really needing to wee this bad…holding myself and fidgeting like I am, it’s…well if we’re going to be really honest with each other then you really should know that doing this…talking to you like this…thinking of you…having a very full bladder like I have and touching myself, remembering that feeling I had when you kissed me on Friday…I’m very excited too if that helps. Very excited indeed.” “Heidi…Heidi…you’re em…you’re..” “Look Ewan we’re adults aren’t we? You like me, I really like you. You do know that, don’t you? I never stopped liking you. I accept you exactly as you are. In fact I more than accept you. I fancy you so much…” “Have you been drinking Heidi?” “Only tea. Loads of it. Oh Ewan…I so need a wee wee honey. Like you wouldn’t believe! I’ve been changing position while I’ve been chatting to you for ages, sitting on my heel, wriggling on my couch, squirming and everything. And you know what? It’s lovely, and tingly and…I never knew how nice this felt before. The more desperate I’m getting the more I want..,you know what…” “Heidi…geez Heidi…” “Ewan…relax..” “Heidi…I’m anything but relaxed here! You do realise that, don’t you? Oh heck…if dad wakes..if…” “Ewan sweetheart, just go with it. I can assure you I am….I am…” Struggling to even form words because my heart is beating so loud and my penis is throbbing frantically in my pyjama trousers. I can barely form words…. “What…what are you doing?” “Can you hear this ok? Oh I need to pee so so badly. I really do…” I hear this sound that makes me feel so crazy that I drop onto the couch in a daze pulling my pj bottoms down and touching myself, urgently panting and gasping for air. I can’t even see her or touch her but just knowing she’s that desperate to pee, that…wet and squelching. “That’s my fingers Ewan. But I wish it was yours. I wish you could feel me this bursting, this desperate. Feel my urethra warm and throbbing against your finger tips, feel how swollen and moist I am, see how hard my clitoris is. Oh I wish you could see and feel how genuinely needy I am right now Ewan. I really really need to wee so much. I’m worried I might pee on my couch actually! Oh I should have went earlier but it just felt so good holding and thinking about you. It still feels so good. So warm and wet and tingly and slippery and shaky and…” I can’t speak. In fact I can barely hold the phone to my ear. It’s sliding out my sweaty hand. Her words are…her words…argggg…ohhhh….ooooohhh. Heidi bursting for a wee, kissing her, ..feeling her there, licking her there, right now, right when she’s so close to doing a wee…I can’t control what it’s doing to me, I can’t control what’s happening anymore. Lying sideways on the sofa with the phone pressed against the back of the sofa with my ear leaning on it so I can still hear, my other hand pretty much pre occupied with something else now as I hear Heidi moaning and I know what she’s doing. I know what she’s doing because I’m doing the same thing. I don’t do this sort of thing. I’m reserved, controlled, focussed. Except with Heidi I’m none of those. With Heidi I’m shaking and vulnerable, nervous and needy and…with Heidi I cum just talking to her on the bloody phone at ten to midnight on a Tuesday night! What have I been missing for the last 8 thousand, 8 hundred and forty days? Why didn’t I kiss her! Why didn’t I bloody kiss her! david_578, arg08, stinklerus and 4 others 3 4 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 19, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 19, 2022 Now I seriously don’t know what to do! Do I text her or call her or what? It feels like we’ve done something extremely naughty, very private and way too sexy together, but now what? Where’s the website or self help book that explains all this? I’m totally lost and like a deer in the headlights. I want her. Geez do I want her! But she has a life, she has kids, I have work. I can’t stop thinking about her but then I can’t stop worrying either! I wrote her more songs,plus a few poems and letters. Things I really wanted her to know like how beautiful the sunset was last night from my bedroom window the other day and how hearing birds chirping happily for no other reason than they are alive sums up exactly how I feel since we met again. She probably thinks I make all this up. Except I don’t. It’s just honestly how I feel. It’s the following Tuesday before I hear from her again. How can 7 days feel so long when I’ve been waiting over 8 thousand 8 hundred days already? I think it’s because I kissed her and then that phone call. I actually know she likes me now and that changes everything. It makes the infatuation even more consuming, if that’s even possible. It’s a text she sends (I actually gave her my mobile number on the phone call) in the morning asking how things are and thanking me for my letter. I’ve sent a few letters already so I really don’t know which one she’s just had. It takes me ages, well it feels like ages, before I try to work out what to text back. In the end I settle for ‘Good thanks, though can’t stop thinking of you. X’ Is that too forward of me? What if she’s with someone and they see it? Yikes. I hope I’m not dropping her in it. Maybe she just wants me as some fun, some bit on the side? I can’t blame her to be honest. From all I’ve read of her life online (though I’m well aware that anyone can put on a front even for the years she’s been blogging) she’s not been treated like she deserves to be. It definitely sounds like she’s raised her kids predominately on her own. Or maybe I’m reading into that? I just don’t know any more. I get a text back right away asking if I would like to go for a coffee again. Would I heck! I reply yes with sweaty palms, almost dropping my phone. I expect the next text to say when and where but instead it reads: ‘Great. Just been listening to you singing again. I can’t get enough of that song “better than a million dreams” Was that really what you thought of me?” It’s only then that I suddenly remember what happened when I wrote that song, and I actually can’t believe I sent her it on email! She’d asked on the phone call and as soon as we hung up I sent it without even thinking. Can she tell what was going on? I seriously hope not! ‘Absolutely! And I still do!” Shit. I’m too full on again. I know I am. I sound desperate…and in many ways I am! I can’t lose her though…not again! ‘What about tomorrow at 10? Same place as before?’ ‘See you there. Can’t wait. X’ I should be working! I’m getting behind on things and if I’m taking another morning off tomorrow I really need to get some work done. But all I can think of is Heidi…again! So I stick some music on and make myself a mug of tea and go into my office and start designing. That’s what I do. That’s what I have always done. Design and printing, that’s my life. That’s what Euan Frame does. I surprise myself by actually feeling energetic, inspired even, and I get designs completed for two very particular clients and send them both away. I deal with sone important emails, send a few invoices, then turn my computer off and check on dad. He’s fiddling with something in the kitchen, looks like a plug or something similar but he’s chatty, healthy, well as healthy as you can be in your late eighties, and alert. I offer him a coffee then make some tea for us both. “I’ve got a meeting tomorrow morning dad. I should be back to make your lunch though. Don’t go making anything yourself though ok! Lynne will be about if you need her.” Lynne’s the cleaning lady dad and I decided to get after mum died. I mean I can clean but I was trying to set up my business back then and dad was in bits and it was just one less things to worry about. Lynne’s great, though I keep out of her way. She’s great with dad too and he likes her so that’s fine by me. Anyway, at least when I’m meeting with Heidi I know dad won’t be left on his own. That’s a big relief. I don’t sleep that well on Tuesday night. I’m nervous as heck wondering how I look Heidi in the eye after our antics on our phone call last week and after all the things I’ve written to her. Is tomorrow even such a good idea? If she’s not interested or still with her husband then this has to be the end of it. My heart can’t take it otherwise. Then I start wondering what to wear. Suits trousers feel too formal but jeans give that air of I couldn’t be bothered. Neither feels right. Does it matter? It’s not like I’m going for a fashion show! But it does matter! Heidi matters. What she thinks of me matters! This is so hard. I get there early which just makes me even more nervous. I scan the car park for a small white car. There’s none there. Do I go in? And if I do do I order myself a coffee already or wait for her to come? This is why I don’t do dates. They are so confusing and stressful. I walk into the coffee shop and look around. I’ve met many a client in a coffee shop, though never this one. I don’t see anyone without a drink so I decide I should order first. Waiting in the small queue I can feel my hands sweating and feel the back of my neck tingling with nerves. I order a basic cup of tea and look around for a seat. I sit down and cradle the cup in both hands nervously so I don’t spill it and focus on the door longingly. What if she doesn’t come? Or even worse, what if she mentions needing the ladies here? Sitting close to her in public if that happens will not be good. She wouldn’t do that, would she? rebeljaffa and stinklerus 1 1 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 20, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 20, 2022 Then in she walks confidently and lovely, seeing me and waving. I wave back just lifting my hand enough off my cup for her to see. I’m a very private man and huge waves are not my thing. I buy her a tea and we sit talking with me looking mostly at her hands much more than her face because all I can think about when I see her face is one that I want to kiss her again so much, and secondly what we did last week while on the phone. She talks more than I do, which is kind of how it was even 24 years ago, but that’s fine by me. In fact more than fine as I love hearing her talk. It’s definitely awkward though and there’s no mention of my letters or my poems or even our phone conversation at all. It’s all how her kids are doing, the roadworks in her town and how she can’t wait for all the Covid restrictions to be over with. I’m listening to every word but still avoiding looking at her too much. I get away with it by sipping my tea and nodding at the right times and Heidi seems to be fine. But then my tea finishes and Heidi asks me something and I look up to answer her and see her face, shining, radiant, and beautiful. “So you said you were self employed now? What do you do these days then?” “Still print and design. Mostly for small businesses and that. A lot of social media adverts these days rather than printed brochures…and logos. I get a lot of logo work these days. What about you?” I kind of already know what she’s doing from her blog but I don’t want her to know I’ve been reading that…not yet. She might think I’m stalking her or something. I probably am really! She tells me about looking after her kids, and her elderly mum and how she failed her degree but went back later and completed it. That takes a lot of courage to do something like that. I’m once again amazed by her strength. She talks about the TV and radio stuff and the amount of newspapers she’s been in. I’m not surprised having read her stuff, though she seems very modest and in shock at it all. She clearly doesn’t see herself as I see her! When she’s finished her drink she puts her hand on the table. The first thing I notice is that she isn’t wearing any rings. Not one. I tentatively move my hand slowly towards hers. She notices and smiles and moves her hand nearer mine. It’s funny because we’ve kissed and we’ve got excited over the phone but yet here we are giggling about our hands touching. It’s childish and cute but I really don’t know what I’m doing at all. Our fingers touch and Heidi smiles at me. “So what’s your plans for the rest of the day then Euan?” “After here I’ll go home and make my dad some lunch then I will probably work for the rest of the day, What about you?” She shrugs. “Probably some lunch then housework before the school run. After the kids are home that’s it. I’ll be in until they go back to school tomorrow. How is your dad? How did he cope when your mum…you know?” Suddenly I feel I can talk to her about something I truly care about: my dad. She mentioned she cares for her elderly mum so maybe she will understand? I tell her how dad went to bits after mum died, how I did too. How we have a cleaner but dad refuses to get carers in saying he doesn’t need them but how I am doing more and more for him that is now just expected and how I worry what might happen if anything happened to me. “Oh I understand that one Euan. So much. I worry about my mum and my kids and how they would manage if anything happened to me. It’s such a huge worry to carry around all the time. Like a heavy weight around your shoulders.” I knew she’d understand! Lyndsey and Helen and Molly, none of them had any idea. They thought I stayed at home for convenience, financial gain even, but it was never about that. It was, and still is, about supporting and honouring my parents and being there for them as they were for me. As I tell Heidi this she holds my hand tightly and looks right at me, her face full of compassion and care. “The world needs more men like you Euan. So…do you have an office or anything where you work from now?” “I have an office at home.” “That must have been handy with all that work from home stuff with the virus?” “I suppose. Thought there wasn’t much work during the lockdowns. I spent far too much time on my own playing guitar and stuff. All very boring…and lonely.” “It was a tough time wasn’t it? My kids seriously struggled and home schooling them was awful for us all, even with a degree in education! But yes the loneliness…geez that was really tough.” I see something in her eyes. Isolation maybe? A sense of this is just what life is like for me? Regret? I’m not sure. My thoughts are interrupted by a waitress who comes over for our mugs. “Can I get either of you anything else?” I look at Heidi unsure if she wants another drink but thinking I ought to be getting back to my dad soon, though at the same time not wanting to leave Heidi. “I’m fine thanks. I suppose I ought to get back to my laundry pile, my hoovering and tidying up. It’s been great seeing you again Euan. I hope we can meet up again?” How can we have went from kissing to sexy phone calls, letters and songs and poems to this? I’m no expert on dating but this..it’s not what I want and I’m guessing it’s not what Heidi wants either.Maybe I should kiss her? Or offer that she comes back to mine? Once again I chicken out though and instead walk her to her car. I’ll kiss her before she leaves, that’s what I’ll do. No-one watching us then. Plus I sort of need to pee myself I realise as I stand up. We can meet again. It’ll get easier. It has to. I walk her to her car, which is sort of ridiculous since it’s just two cars from mine in the small car park, and I stand there like an idiot while she unlocks her car and gets in. “Maybe I can call you later? If you’re not working?” “Yes. Yes. I’d love that.” I’m staring at her. I know I am but I can’t help it. I’m an idiot letting her go but what can I do now she’s in her car with her seat belt on? It’s like my mum is watching down on my all of a sudden as Heidi goes to start her car and it doesn’t catch. She puts her windows down looking embarrassed and upset. “I honestly don’t believe this! I was running late then all nervous about meeting you and I saw the light on but thought it wasn’t far. I’d be fine. Aren’t you supposed to get like 50 miles even after your light goes on or something?” “Sometimes. That’s mostly at optimum driving though at about 50 miles an hour on a motorway. You don’t get much extra in town driving at all. I think I’ve got a canister in my car. I can take you to get petrol if you’d like? I can’t leave you stuck here.” “Thank you. You’re my knight in shining armour Euan. Thank you!” “I’ve not done anything yet!” As I take the few steps to my car with Heidi behind me that sentence repeats in my mind. I haven’t done anything yet. Some coffee date this is! I really need to…I don’t know…kiss her? Actually I need the bathroom. That’s what I need. But Heidi needs petrol. I’d better take her to get that first. waterrat, david_578, arg08 and 2 others 4 1 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 20, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 20, 2022 I check my boot to find I do indeed have a plastic canister so I hold the passenger door open for Heidi and then get in the driver’s side. The nearest petrol station is less than a mile away and I tell Heidi to stay in the car while I go to fill the canister. I tap on the window just to check it’s unleaded petrol she needs then get some and pay. As soon as I get back in the car Heidi offers me money but I refuse to take it. I drive her back to Starbucks and pour the petrol in for her, all the time tapping my foot and debating going into the shop to use their bathroom. Heidi looks nervous though and cold. It’s February and wet underfoot where it’s been raining and there’s a cold breeze. Suddenly I have a thought. “This should get you to the nearest petrol station. Would you like me to follow you until you get there just to make sure you’re ok?” “Yes. Yes please Euan.” I nod, twist her petrol cap back on and take the empty canister back to my car. I hear her starting her car again and breath a sigh of relief. Getting back into my own car I feel another urge from my bladder but ignore it. I’ll be home soon enough now. Once Heidi has got petrol I’ll leave her and go back home to dad…and a toilet. I follow the little white car in the opposite direction to my house and indicate in unison to pull into the Esso petrol station on the main road. It’s then I have another idea. While Heidi fills her car at the pump I pop into the shop thinking they might have a loo but also because I really want to pay for Heidi’s petrol. I can’t see any sign of a toilet and I’m way too embarrassed to ask so I wait while Heidi finishes then I pay and walk out, way too shy to tell her what I’ve just done. I sit in my own car turning redder by the minute watching her going inside then looking out at me smiling. She comes back out and right over to me as I put my window down as she leans in taking me by surprise and kissing my cheek. “Thank you. You didn’t need to do that. But thank you. I’d offer you a coffee and some lunch at mine as a thank you but I know you probably want back for your dad. Maybe we can meet up again, my treat next time?” Having her face so close, feeling her breath on my face, her lips on my cheek, send shivers through me. I’m not thinking of my dad right now. Not even for a minute. Before I realise it I’ve blubbered something about ‘I’m sure my dad will be fine and he knows I’m at a meeting and…’ She winks and says to follow her home. I don’t tell her I already know the way. I looked up her house on google street map and worked out my way there the day she gave me her address. But still I follow her closely now, realising that I’m going to have to ask to use her bathroom when I get there. Coffee seems to just go right through me these days. Must be my age. Her house is tidy and welcoming looking but I’m so incredibly nervous now I am here and parked up. I also really need a pee now which isn’t helping my nerves one bit. I swallow a lump in my throat, get out my car and follow Heidi to her front door. She welcomes me in and I follow her through to her main room. I can’t help looking at her rather than her house as she quietly apologised for the state of the place. It looks perfect to me. Homely, comfortable and warm. Lived in like my parents. “Sit down. Make yourself at home Euan. A toasty ok? It’s so cold for sandwiches I think. What would you like with it? Tea or coffee or a cold drink.” “Emmm. A toasty and some tea would be great thanks.” I sit down on her couch but I can’t get comfortable because my bladder is way too full so I stand back up again looking for the kitchen. Standing at the doorway watching Heidi I cross my legs and mutter quietly under my breath. “I couldn’t use your toilet could I?” She doesn’t seem to hear me but then she turns a minute or so later to smile at me. “It’s so good to have you here you know. I know you can’t stay long but..” “Sorry. Heidi, is there any chance I could maybe use your bathroom at all?” “Of course! Feel free. It’s right at the top of the stairs. First door facing you.” Oh thank goodness! I feel so much better now. So much more relaxed. I really needed that so much there was no way I could have had lunch first! I come back down to see Heidi has made the tea and toasties and she’s smiling at me. A flirtatious, twinkly eyed smile that makes me weak at the knees. She’s even more beautiful after 24 years that I could ever have imagined. I’m hungry but geez I want to kiss her yet again. I always seem to want to kiss her somehow! As she hands me my plate and drink I smile at her hoping she realises what I’d rather be doing. We sit opposite each other in the lounge with a coffee table between us. I can’t stop looking at her. I can’t stop wanting her so much. stinklerus, waterrat, rebeljaffa and 1 other 3 1 Quote Link to comment
rebeljaffa 562 Posted February 20, 2022 Share Posted February 20, 2022 That would be me! Straight off for a pee, which has probably spoiled some of Heidi's fun, but now hoping that Heidi doesn't go to the loo! Double standards, yeah I know! 😂 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 20, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 20, 2022 1 minute ago, rebeljaffa said: That would be me! Straight off for a pee, which has probably spoiled some of Heidi's fun, but now hoping that Heidi doesn't go to the loo! Double standards, yeah I know! 😂 Given what she knows about Ewan I suspect she’s in no hurry to use her bathroom while he’s there ; rebeljaffa 1 Quote Link to comment
rebeljaffa 562 Posted February 20, 2022 Share Posted February 20, 2022 1 hour ago, Mbgpeelover said: Given what she knows about Ewan I suspect she’s in no hurry to use her bathroom while he’s there ; I'm hoping she doesn't! Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 20, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 20, 2022 She seems nervous, moving more than you’d expect on the arm chair, sort of fidgety. I get it. I’m anxious and nervous too. I eat my toasty, she does too, and I drink my tea, and she does too. In between we’re talking and smiling and…well just looking at each other. I didn’t have this with the other woman. With them it was pleasant company, friendship. I was attracted to them all but not like this. Not anything like this. I ask about her home, the kid’s schools, anything to keep my mind off what it’s really thinking. But then she wriggles. I know that wriggle. I adore that wriggle. I’ve replayed that wriggle non stop for thousands of days. I can see it in her eyes, in her body language, in everything about her. She’s going to say it. Help me! She’s going to say it and I’m looking right at her, pretty much in touching distance of her, and we’re alone. Shit we’re alone! “Please excuse my wriggling Euan. I really should go for a wee.” Is she flirting? Teasing me? She knows what saying that does to me? She’s read my letters? I say the only thing that seems reasonable and wise in the moment. “Don’t let me stop you going Heidi. Not if you’re em…bursting.” I’m blushing. Geez I’m so hot, so uncomfortable, so hard!! Trying to hide it I sort of shift sideways on her couch trying not to fixate on her wriggling, her legs bouncing, her squirming. “But I’m enjoying you’re company…a lot. So, as long as you don’t mind, I’ll go a bit later maybe. Did I tell you how much I loved your sunset poem? And the one about the birds first thing in the morning? You are really talented you know. I always thought that, you know, back when you wrote to me all those years ago. I used to read your poems over and over and each time they just seemed to get better, deeper…more beautiful than the time before.” “Thanks. I sort of…I kind of..I still have all your poems too. Do you remember writing me a hand written book of some of your poems?” “Oh goodness! Now don’t ever show that to the sites I wrote for now ok! I have a reputation to keep up. The last thing I need is for those to reappear after all those years!” “But they are timeless Heidi. I read them a lot still. You are an incredible writer you know. You write with such an understanding of life, such emotion, such power. I’m not at all surprised that you have so many followers.” “You mean on Facebook, Twitter and Wordpress? Wait…you’ve been reading my stuff? My page? My blog?” I nod nervously as she wriggles more, her foot now under her bottom and her back bent forwards. I’m in awe of her, transfixed by her…lusting after her so much I can hardly bare it. “I em..I googled you. Sorry.” “Oh. Well I guess that’s understandable. If you had a pound for every time I googled you, searched for you over the years, you’d be a very rich man I guess. I very nearly emailed your work too but so glad I didn’t now with you saying you left. That would have been so embarrassing! So…did you find out anything interesting about me?” “There’s a lot on the web about you Heidi. Photos from your blog and videos from your Facebook page and so many newspaper articles and TV clips. It was like seeing someone famous.” “I’m just a stay at home single mum Euan. It’s all just because my blog sort of took off. I never planned any of it. I had a couple of pieces go viral years ago and then some big sites asked me to write for them. Then another piece went viral just when the thing I wrote about was big in the news so the BBC contacted me. Luck I guess really. Then there was the thing my daughter did that blew up. I’m sure you read about that? It wasn’t planned. None of it was planned and the thing is once your name is out there, once you get followers and shares it’s like you’re on a rollercoaster you can’t get off. It’s actually quite a pressure at times. But then if it helps someone, if another parent feels less alone after reading my stuff, if society gets less judgmental of parents doing their best…that’s what keeps me going. It’s incredibly lonely being a lone parent.” The entire time she’s talking she’s wriggling around, bouncing on her heel, circling on it back and forth, changing positions and squirming so much. She must need to pee so much. I can only image how desperate she must be, how urgently she craves release, how powerful the urges are, and every bit of that is driving me stir crazy. So much so that I can’t keep still either as my hard penis throbs in my crotch begging me to touch it, stroke it, play with it. When she gasps and moans and presses a hand between her legs I lose myself, stand up suddenly, sweating. I step over the coffee table in one big swoop, grabbing her face with both hands, cupping her cheeks, as I kiss her so urgently, so deeply that my body is shaking. She reciprocates willingly and urgently moaning under her breath. After about a minute I pull back feeling a bit guilty and looking right at her. “If you want to go for a wee I honestly don’t mind.” “Euan, I don’t mind that this turns you on. In fact I love it! It’s so much more intense like this, being bursting, having a full bladder. It…it tingles so much more…” I don’t let her finish talking as I kiss her again. This time even more passionately, more lustfully. I haven’t had sex with a woman for years but I equally don’t want to push too quickly. I so want to be a gent yet my body is screaming to take her, to fulfil her while she’s still so full. I mustn’t go too quickly…but she’s touching my body, undoing my trousers, unbuttoning my shirt… 8 thousand, 8 hundred and fifty days since I should have kissed her but didn’t and now…now…well I’ll leave you to work out the rest. I didn’t get home until after 3 but dad just smiled at me as I found him in the kitchen washing up some dishes even though we have a dishwasher now. Maybe it was my smile that gave it away, or the aura that made me feel I was floating on a cloud, but dad, even my elderly dad in his 80’s, seemed to somehow know. “You met someone son?” “Yes dad. I have. You ok with that?” “About bloody time!” “Yes. Yes you’re right dad. I mean it only took me 8 thousand 8 hundred and thirty six days before I even kissed her! As you say, about bloody time eh!” He turns and grabs my shoulder affectionately. He might be slowly deteriorating and showing his age more now than ever but he speaks to me with such passion, such love, such care as he looks me right in the eye. “Your mum would be so happy son. I hope she’s the one.” “I really think so dad. In fact she’s always been the one it’s just taken me a very very long time to find her again and make up for not kissing her back in 1997.” “Some things are worth the wait son.” “Absolutely dad. I couldn’t agree more. Fancy a cuppa?” arg08, stinklerus, waterrat and 3 others 4 2 Quote Link to comment
Seifer69 744 Posted February 20, 2022 Share Posted February 20, 2022 Good story. Looking forward to reading more Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 20, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 20, 2022 33 minutes ago, Seifer69 said: Good story. Looking forward to reading more Unfortunately this is the conclusion of this one…unless enough people really want more? Quote Link to comment
stinklerus 389 Posted February 21, 2022 Share Posted February 21, 2022 More would be most welcome if you have any ideas to continue! Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 21, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 21, 2022 1 hour ago, stinklerus said: More would be most welcome if you have any ideas to continue! Having slept on it I do feel this one is now finished and I will leave what happened next to the reader who can come to their own conclusion. Don’t worry I have loads more short stories planned when I get time. pwpj, ola93, david_578 and 2 others 3 2 Quote Link to comment
holdit247 234 Posted February 21, 2022 Share Posted February 21, 2022 The conclusion brought a tear to my eye! Beautiful. My vaguely similar story had a gap of 8,009 days... we live together now, blissfully happy. Mbgpeelover 1 Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 21, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 21, 2022 1 hour ago, holdit247 said: The conclusion brought a tear to my eye! Beautiful. My vaguely similar story had a gap of 8,009 days... we live together now, blissfully happy. A lot of this one is true and I still dream of being blissfully happy. Hearing your story gives me so much hope. holdit247 1 Quote Link to comment
holdit247 234 Posted February 21, 2022 Share Posted February 21, 2022 3 minutes ago, Mbgpeelover said: Hearing your story gives me so much hope. We'd been to school together, never actually a couple but very close as young adults, but when she went back to uni one term she met someone... 20+ years later she messaged me 3 weeks after her marriage broke down. We had a date a week later. We kissed on that first date. Turns out we had both told colleagues each other was "the one that got away". Never be afraid to tell someone how you feel, about emotions or about your fetish, whatever. Life is too short for regrets. Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 21, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 21, 2022 2 hours ago, holdit247 said: We'd been to school together, never actually a couple but very close as young adults, but when she went back to uni one term she met someone... 20+ years later she messaged me 3 weeks after her marriage broke down. We had a date a week later. We kissed on that first date. Turns out we had both told colleagues each other was "the one that got away". Never be afraid to tell someone how you feel, about emotions or about your fetish, whatever. Life is too short for regrets. I genuinely had a mystery poet and fell in love with him. The Christmas night out and stuff all happened too including him not kissing me and me having to go in to pee. The rest, sadly, is fiction but how I’d live it to happen. Obviously names, places of work, etc all changed. holdit247 1 Quote Link to comment
wether 578 Posted February 22, 2022 Share Posted February 22, 2022 Wonderful story! So much different from what we usually read here. More a love story than a pee-related story, despite the pee theme is still an important part of the plot. Especially reading it is interesting, or even exciting, for an over 50-years old man, who has some memories from about 25 years ago. They come back since I've been 40. Although I am luckily married for over 20 years, I keep thinking of the situations that took place before I met the woman who later became my wife. I keep thinking what would happen if I were more more assertive, more firm. I somehow regret I haven't made use of the situations that took place. It's strange to me a bit but that's how I feel. Quote Link to comment
Mbgpeelover 8,719 Posted February 22, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted February 22, 2022 4 hours ago, wether said: Wonderful story! So much different from what we usually read here. More a love story than a pee-related story, despite the pee theme is still an important part of the plot. Especially reading it is interesting, or even exciting, for an over 50-years old man, who has some memories from about 25 years ago. They come back since I've been 40. Although I am luckily married for over 20 years, I keep thinking of the situations that took place before I met the woman who later became my wife. I keep thinking what would happen if I were more more assertive, more firm. I somehow regret I haven't made use of the situations that took place. It's strange to me a bit but that's how I feel. As a woman in her forties I get that so much. There’s not enough stories on here about more mature men and woman. I think I should help with that. Quote Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.