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Am I asexual?


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I’d have thought in a strict sense it meant you weren’t sexually attracted to any person… though I guess there’s degrees of it. You’re still experiencing a degree of attraction to a person if it’s only when they are linked to a specific fetish object or scenario. Whereas if you were only aroused by, say, wetting yourself or wearing diapers etc. without the involvement of another person, that would fit more obviously with asexual.

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32 minutes ago, nappypants said:

I’d have thought in a strict sense it meant you weren’t sexually attracted to any person… though I guess there’s degrees of it. You’re still experiencing a degree of attraction to a person if it’s only when they are linked to a specific fetish object or scenario. Whereas if you were only aroused by, say, wetting yourself or wearing diapers etc. without the involvement of another person, that would fit more obviously with asexual.

Even then I'd say autoerotic. I think "asexual" is used far too widely these days.

The only way I can imagine an asexual interest in wetting is if it was literally just for the warm, wet feeling, with no masturbation or desire involved. I think there are some people on here who are like that, but it's rare.

Edited by Uniform Skirt (see edit history)
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I think it depends on how broadly you interpret asexual. My primary turn ons are desperation, tickle torture and embarrassing nudity, none of which involves actual penetrative sex. So I have very little desire for actual sexual intercourse, but those fetishes are definitely sexual in nature, so I wouldn't say I'm totally asexual in that regard.

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That's really for you to decide how to define yourself. There are many degrees of asexuality from sex-repulsed to uninterested to simply low sex drive. My partner identities as asexual because they have virtually no drive to have sex, but very much enjoys sex while having it, i would call it low sex drive, but it's not my place to determine how she identifies herself.  Some asexuals have a sex drive but aren't interested in sex with a partner. It's really an umbrella term to refer to a number of possible orientations

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7 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

I think it depends on how broadly you interpret asexual. My primary turn ons are desperation, tickle torture and embarrassing nudity, none of which involves actual penetrative sex. So I have very little desire for actual sexual intercourse, but those fetishes are definitely sexual in nature, so I wouldn't say I'm totally asexual in that regard.

You said elsewhere that you're lesbian, though, which isn't "penetrative" sex aside from maybe using a strap on.

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@Uniform Skirt

"You said elsewhere that you're lesbian, though, which isn't "penetrative" sex aside from maybe using a strap on."

I think that that's where these situations get rather tricky because most people define sexual intercourse as a penis entering a vagina, but no lesbian really desires that obviously, but that doesn't mean that we don't have any sexual interests whatsoever. But the way I see it my primary turn ons are tickle torture, embarrassing nudity and a full bladder, which most people wouldn't say qualifies as actual intercourse. So if you define being sexual as desiring actual intercourse, and asexual as not desiring actual intercourse like that, I suppose then that most lesbians might qualify as asexual by that definition, which again I don't feel is accurate.

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I would say so.

At it's core, the definition of asexual (an an orientation, not the biology term) really just is "low to no desire to have sex." If you don't have any desire to have sex, or only desire it in specific circumstances, I'd consider that to be asexuality. I myself am an asexual with numerous 'fetishes' (i wouldn't really call them fetishes in my case because it implies a sexual undertone, and i personally don't fit that bill. hobbies would be more accurate for me tbh.)

However, the more important thing is whether you would consider yourself asexual. If you feel that the term fits you, nobody else can decide that it doesn't. If you don't feel that the term fits you, nobody else can decide that it does. The most anyone can do for you is point you in the right direction, but ultimately your choice of how to label your attraction is just that; it's your choice.

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I honestly rarely get any sexual drive, even omorashi is not something I consider a fetish, only something cute and adorable ^w^ instead of being aroused by stuff I mostly just get really excited and flushed haha, I really relate to cringing to vanilla porn, sex in general to me is just unappealing and quite gross xD So I feel ya there and yeah I'd definitely say you could call yourself asexual

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2 hours ago, Stinky Pikachu said:

I honestly rarely get any sexual drive, even omorashi is not something I consider a fetish, only something cute and adorable ^w^ instead of being aroused by stuff I mostly just get really excited and flushed haha, I really relate to cringing to vanilla porn, sex in general to me is just unappealing and quite gross xD So I feel ya there and yeah I'd definitely say you could call yourself asexual

Honestly this is pretty dang close to how I feel myself lol

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Once again it sort of a tricky question, I am primarily turned on by omorashi, tickle torture and embarrassing nudity, and while I consider all of those situations and interests to be sexual in nature I have very little desire for genital contact sex, traditional actual sex sex in that regard, but wouldn't be entirely opposed, but I would say that those fetishes are much much more strong than any desire for actual sex in the traditional sense, for which I have relatively  little desire and rarely fantasize about.

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1 minute ago, DesperateJill said:

Once again it sort of a tricky question, I am primarily turned on by omorashi, tickle torture and embarrassing nudity, and while I consider all of those situations and interests to be sexual in nature I have very little desire for genital contact sex, traditional actual sex sex in that regard, but wouldn't be entirely opposed, but I would say that those fetishes are much much more strong than any desire for actual sex in the traditional sense, for which I have relatively  little desire and rarely fantasize about.

When I am dating I find it hard to explain that I am extremely interested in sexual matters but less so in actual penetration.  I'm just considered an odd-ball by most of them.  

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@rebeljaffa

"When I am dating I find it hard to explain that I am extremely interested in sexual matters but less so in actual penetration.  I'm just considered an odd-ball by most of them."

I think that is probably an issue more for guys seeing as guys are assumed to be looking for penetrative sex primarily. With lesbians unless you use a strap on or finger fucking there isn't any actual penetration, so I think lesbians are more likely to have other sexual interests that don't involve direct genital to genital contact. Like I said most of my sexual interests don't involve any actual penetration, so some would say that that qualifies me as a exual, but I definitely find that those other interests are sexual in nature and arousing, so I wouldn't say that those were asexual. But if you define asexual as not desiring genital to genital contact necessarily I guess I'd mostly fall into that category.

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Leaving my two cents here. I consider myself asexual, but I still have fetishes (just look at this site). Reason, while these fetishes are sexual in nature, I more of prefer the emotional aspect of it (embarrassment, shame, relief, etc.) and I do like seeing a good butt too. When it comes to wanting to "fill" the sexual aspect, I don't care too much. Matter in fact when it comes to actual sex (penetration, kissing, fingers, etc.) and it turns me off (curse you hentais with good omorashi that ruin it with ACTUAL sex, ugh).

With that being said, it depends on both your view and other tastes. Like, say you decide you do like sex and would want to have sex with a partner; This wouldn't be asexual. Or you have a specific person in mind you want; You would probably be demisexual (a form of asexual). And then ultimately, it's up to you. Sexuality is a personal spectrum, one day you might wake up and come across a fetish/person/situation that awakens something that turns you gay, pansex, bi, etc. Hope this helps!

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Asexuality is a spectrum. You don't have to be on the one extreme end to identify with it. You can just identify as asexual or grey-asexual (basically on a not further specified part of the spectrum) or you can just not label yourself if you don't want to. That's up to you. If you really want to find a label that fits you, I can recommend looking through the asexual spectrum labels on the lgbtqia+ wiki (https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Asexual_spectrum). (Looking at it now, there used to be many more microlabels described in much more detail.)

I for example didn't label myself at first, then I identified as demisexual, until I learned about aegosexual, which fits me much better.

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On 2/15/2022 at 10:45 PM, GipsonTypson said:

Since I remember omorashi is my only fetish. Sex doesn't excite me unless it's omo related. I don't even watch vanilla porn because it makes me cringe... I only get horny watching people pee or desperatly hold their bladder contents. Can I call myself an asexual then? 

"can I-" yes. Nobody gets to decide that but you. If you feel asexual is an accurate label for yourself, then you are asexual. Regardless of kinks or whether you have sex. After all sexual orientations are about who you're attracted to rather than what you do.

In the same vein, if a straight man had a forced bi fetish, it doesn't necessarily mean he's attracted to men - its more about what the act represents for him (being forced to do things he doesn't enjoy).

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I'd say you're an asexual. If your sexual functions still get turned on, then your not a non-libidist, but if they don't get turned on for sex, then you are an asexual.

I'm on the asexual spectrum, but I still masturbate. I think peeing feels nice and cozy sometimes, and it can help me switch gears from the busy day and get in the mood for masturbating afterwards. So, for me, omorashi is kind of sexual sometimes I guess, but not in an allosexual way.

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On 2/15/2022 at 5:45 PM, GipsonTypson said:

Since I remember omorashi is my only fetish. Sex doesn't excite me unless it's omo related. I don't even watch vanilla porn because it makes me cringe... I only get horny watching people pee or desperatly hold their bladder contents. Can I call myself an asexual then? 

I am not sure the issue is whether or not you are asexual and under what context. You say sex by itself doesn't arouse you unless there is peeing involved. Which gender or genders do you feel aroused when holding their bladders? Do you feel the need to get off or actually want to have physical sex with that person? I don't mean to be too personal either the questions. I saw your question and want to help you answer your question but I think more information is needed.

Also just feeling aroused by either gender or actually wanting to and doing sex with that person because of the fetish performed (of course willingly not forced), does it count as being a sexual or sexual. I am only familiar with the traditional concept of sexual being one who prefers to have sex with a person of the opposite sex or same sex. Again, this post is to better understand the nature of the matter you posted above. 

I think if you feel asexual then perhaps you are. Sometimes the question is found deep within.

Edited by Uroguy (see edit history)
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