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female To Have and To Hold


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Martha loved going to renaissance faires. She loved to act, and they gave her such a wonderful opportunity to perform.

She was just really starting to second guess her choice of costume. 

She was wearing a huge purple gown with a long, wide hoop skirt that billowed out around her and went all the way down to her feet. She had been hoping to look like a princess, and according to Lana, she did. It had taken a while to put the costume on, and Lana had needed to assist her a couple times, but now that she was fully dressed, she was positive that she was gorgeous. 

But, when picking out such an elaborate costume, she’d failed to consider what would happen when she inevitably needed to pee. Like she did now. She knew it would take several minutes to get her clothing adjusted in a way that allowed her to urinate into a toilet, and that doing so would require a great deal of space, and probably help from Lana, too. 

But, the only toilets at this particular faire were portaloos. Two people couldn’t cram into one of those things together. Martha doubted she could even fit into one by herself while in this costume. And, if she tried to wrestle her way out of it in there, she could fall over, or a part of the costume could even dip into the filthy toilet. It was just impossible. 

The one upside was that no one who looked at her would be able to tell her tightly crossed her legs were, the skirt concealed that perfectly. But, since it was the whole reason she was being forced to hold it in to begin with, she couldn’t feel very grateful for that. Especially not when she realized the protruding hoops got in the way of her cupping herself when particularly strong spasms assailed her midsection. 

The worst part, however, was the fact that she knew Lydia and Avery were here today as well. Lydia was Martha’s ex-best friend, they’d had an enormous fight over a year ago and Martha had done some pretty awful things to Lydia in a misguided effort to avoid losing her, succeeding only in pushing her further away instead. Martha had said she was sorry several times, but they were never again on good terms. It had taken Martha a long time to realize that while she DID owe Lydia an apology, Lydia did NOT owe her forgiveness. They now didn’t speak to each other, and Lydia treated her with nothing but coldness.

Martha had accepted that, after the things she’d said and done to Lydia during their big blow-up of a feud, the coldness was what she’d earned. But, that didn’t make it hurt less to see Lydia and remember all the time they’d spent together and how she’d never get to experience it again. When she spotted Lydia laughing with Avery, and recalled how not too long ago it was HER whom Lydia would be having fun with, her heart twisted and her chest ached. 

When she’d first spotted Lydia and Avery in one of the shop stalls that had been set up, Martha had gripped Lana’s shoulder and quickly hurried in the opposite direction. But, they just seemed to keep turning up at the same places at the same time. As Martha’s bladder filled and grew more and more uncomfortable, she’d also had to put in extra effort to hide from her former friend. 

Now, she could barely focus on keeping an eye out for Lydia, though. As Lana browsed through a selection of scarves in a shop, Martha jumped on the balls of her feet, crossed and uncrossed her legs, and overall just did the best pee-dance she could manage while under the cover of her annoyingly huge skirt. She wished she could cup herself, wished she could rip the skirt and the wire, hooped skeleton it was attached to from her body and launch herself onto the closest toilet. Even the knowledge that no one could see her twisting, spasming legs was not enough to keep her from feeling embarrassed. She couldn’t believe she was so close to having an accident in public.

She knew, if she had an accident, she wouldn’t be able to hide that. True, it would just all pool beneath her legs, the wiring pushing out the material of the skirt would keep it away from the line of fire. But, it would still make a sound. Her pees tended to be pretty noisy; especially if she’d been holding it for too long like she had today. Her urine would come out with extreme amounts of force, resulting in a startlingly penetrating hiss. Once, when she’d been sleeping over with Lana, she’d woken up in the middle of the night to pee, and when she’d gotten back, Lana was wide awake and asking if it had begun to rain outside. 

Martha’s embarrassment that time had been palpable, but it would have nothing on how she’d feel if she gushed out a puddle right here, right now. “Um… Lana?” Martha said timidly. 

“Hm?” Lana draped a scarf over her neck. “What do you think of—“ 

“I have to use the restroom…” 

“Oh, that’s alright. The closest ones are—“ 

“My costume, though,” Martha said. 

Lana removed the scarf, put it back on the rack. “Oh, right… Um… Not really sure what to do there…” 

Martha whimpered, jiggled in place. “It’s kind of an emergency…” 

Lana thought for a moment that Martha really ought to have spoken up before it had gotten so urgent, but knew scolding her wouldn’t help. “Um… Maybe we can find someone else in a similar costume and ask them what they did about it?” 

Martha covered her face. “Ughhh, I don’t wanna do that!” She couldn’t even imagine it; Asking a stranger for help peeing! 

“I know it would be embarrassing, but I mean— I don’t know how to get you out of that thing while squished into a portaloo, so we have to ask someone else, don’t we?” 

They left the shop and began walking down a trail… And directly into Lydia and Avery. Lydia was carrying an accordion she’d bought from one of the shops, and Martha fought down the memories of all the other ridiculous items Lydia had impulsively bought over the years they’d still been friends. 

“Oh…” Martha said nervously. “It’s… You…” 

Martha tried not to look at Lydia, but when her gaze fell on Avery her bladder began to seize and shudder. It was clear that Avery was enduring the same plight that she was. His legs were twisting against one another, ankles rubbing together. Since he wasn’t wearing a costume that concealed his legs, his pee-dance was extremely obvious. But, the upside for Avery not wearing a costume that was anything like Martha’s was that even if he couldn’t hide his fidgeting, his clothing was not restricting his access to relief. 

Lucky bastard. 

Lydia raised a hand a little awkwardly, “Yeah… Hey…” she said quietly. 

After that, they all just fell silent. The tension between them was heavy enough it ought to have created a visible cloud of fog. 

Finally, Avery broke the silence; “I—I’m sorry,” he said. “Have either of you seen a restroom anywhere? Sorry— I’m… I’m really bursting…” 

That broke the tension a little bit as Lydia and Lana both laughed. 

“Yeah,” Lydia said. “He’s been telling me he’s got to pee for the past two hours—“ 

“Two and a half!” Avery whined. “And, you kept telling me 'in a minute', but I don’t have any more minutes left, so—“ 

“And, I’ve been trying to find you a restroom,” Lydia interrupted. “I promise, I have. I just can’t find one.“ 

“Well, then it’s your fault if I get a bladder infection!” Avery said. 

Lana giggled, still smiling. It was obvious Avery did not like the level of amusement she clearly found in his suffering, but she couldn’t help it. He looked like he was trying to do an Irish river dance while slightly intoxicated. Jumping from foot to foot over and over and occasionally getting tangled up on his own legs. 

She did know how to get to the nearest portaloos though. She could show him the way… But, she probably shouldn’t bring Martha. Lana knew it would be cruel to take Avery to pee before she’d figured out a way to help Martha relieve herself too. “I know where the toilets are,” she said. “I can take you, if you wa—“ 

“Oh, thank you so much,” Avery said. 

“You guys wait here, we’ll be back in a bit,” Lana said to Lydia and Martha. She started off down a path, Avery entering a fumbly, hobbling jog beside her. 

And then, Martha was alone. With Lydia. 

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes. Martha just kept rocking back and forth, each hand holding the opposite arm in a vice grip, and her breaths coming out in choppy, panicked gasps. Urine was beading down her legs at an alarming rate, her bladder was dying and was now constantly issuing tiny dribbles of warmth as her kidneys continued pumping away. She was full and overflowing, and the last thing she wanted was to have an accident in front of Lydia. Please. No. Not Lydia. She’d even rather do it in front of Lana. At least, she knew Lana would comfort her afterwards. But Lydia… Lydia had been an ice queen towards her since their fight, and the best Martha could hope for was that Lydia just wouldn’t say anything at all. 

Martha kept up her rocking, it was the only thing keeping the tide at bay. The only thing that—

“Do you have to go too?” Lydia asked suddenly. 

“What?” 

“Because you should have just gone with them.” 

Martha scowled and looked away. “I don’t need your advice, Lydia.” 

“Well, okay,” Lydia shrugged. “Be that way. If you want to wet yourself that’s not my problem.” 

Martha squeezed her thighs tight as the dribbles picked up in pace. Lydia’s prediction was quickly coming true. “I wanted to go with them,” she said. “I really did, but…” she gestured at her skirt. “This thing’s in the way.” 

Lydia finally turned her body to fully face Martha. “…Oh. Yeah. It does look a little complicated…” 

“I should have worn something else… It’s dumb anyway. I’m too old to play princess.” 

“No. It… It looks good on you… I mean, it’s not my style. But, on you it’s… Fine.” 

Martha tapped her feet, began practically stomping them. “How did anybody ever pee during the actual renaissance!?” she demanded angrily. 

“Oh,” Lydia said. “I think I— I remember reading something this one time. Like, when women wore gowns like that, they’d literally just spread their legs overtop of something and just… Go. And, I don’t think they wore underpants back then, or at least not anything like what we have today, and the skirts were so wide nothing would—“ 

“Lydia, stop talking. You’re making it worse.” 

“I’m just saying, you could maybe go in the grass somewhere that’s less crowded. Nobody’d even be able to tell so long as you just stood really still and didn’t make a funny face.” 

“Somebody could still hear it,” Martha pointed out. 

Lydia frowned, then looked down to the accordion she held. “Not if there’s something to cover up the noise!” 

“Do you even know how to play that thing?” 

“No, I just got it,” Lydia said. “But, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t have to be a nice sound, just a sound.” 

“Would you actually be willing to help me?” Martha asked. She thought, in the back of her mind, that Lydia was just taunting her. Offering her a chance for relief before cruelly taking it back away. 

“Yeah,” Lydia said. “Just because we aren’t friends anymore, that doesn’t mean I think you deserve to have an accident in public.” 

“O—Okay,” Martha said. And with that, the two ducked into a bit of the brush that flanked the trails. 

“Do you have um… Anything on that you need to take off first?” Lydia asked, hoping that Martha could manage that herself. 

Martha’s face flushed. “Um, no…” she admitted. “It’s… A very accurate costume.” 

“Eheh… Okay, then…” Lydia began to play her accordion. Though ‘play’ was perhaps not the best word. It was more like she was torturing it, and the anguished wails that sounded from its body were a testament to that. 

Martha cringed at the awful sound, but spread her legs as far apart from one another as she could. Now that nothing was in the way and attempting to obstruct the flow, the dribbly spurts she’d been unable to control for the past several minutes instantly gave way to a torrential downpour. 

She was at last relieving herself with typical gusto, and even the decibels of her infamous hiss didn’t manage to overpower the sound of Lydia’s horrid attempts to produce something that could be considered music. Panicked, she looked down at herself, but no portion of her skirt was darkening, no part of her outfit felt damp. In fact, there was no visible sign that she was peeing at all. The skirt went all the way to the ground, and none of the liquid now spattering the grass between her legs could be seen. She could somewhat feel a few wayward drops flicking against the sides of her feet, but other than that, she could reasonably say that she’d made it; She hadn’t had an accident after all. 

Remembering what Lydia had said, she concentrated really hard on keeping her expression nonplussed. But, it was really hard to do. The sensation of release after so much time of agonizing restraint was making her almost lightheaded. She bit the inside of her cheek as she tried not to sigh or moan. She fought very hard to keep her eyes open as her torrent gushed on and on and on. 

She pushed harder, making her stream increase in intensity and speed. As good as this felt, she wanted to finish up before Lana and Avery got back and wondered where she’d gone. And, truth be told, she wanted to put a stop to Lydia’s abysmal accordion skills before they gave her the biggest migraine in history. 

When her gushing waterfall came at last to a stop, and she was no longer burdened by her bladder, Martha realized she didn’t have anything to wipe off with. But, deciding a little bit of dampness between her legs was better than a full-blown accident, she just took a step back from the puddle she’d made and told Lydia she’d finished. 

Lydia ceased her infernal racket, and then Martha actually did exhale a well overdue sigh of relief. “Um… Thank you,” she told Lydia. 

“You’re welcome. And, if you were worried, I won’t tell anybody about this. I promise." 

Martha knew there was a reason they’d been friends once.

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Martha took costume shopping extremely seriously. Extremely. Seriously. And it showed; Whenever Martha dressed up, she looked absolutely stunning. She went all out. One year when attending a faire, she’d dressed as an elf, complete with pointed prosthetics over her ears that blended seamlessly with her own flesh and looked completely real. When she wanted to dress as a hideous witch, she somehow managed to change what Lana saw as a beautiful face, perfectly clear skin and altogether gorgeous body into a lumpy, monstrous form like something from a nightmare; Covered in boils, warts and pustules from head to toe. 

When Martha was in costume, she truly did transform. 

Lana did enjoy seeing the new ways Martha concealed herself and tried on new skin like a chameleon, until today; This would be the first Halloween the two dressed up in a couples’ costume. Lana had been excited about the idea at first, only to discover exactly how seriously Martha took this whole thing. They’d been to dozens of stores already, none of which had been up to Martha’s implausibly high standards. Lana had tried on what felt like hundreds of garments, but Martha found a flaw in every piece of material they came across. 

Lana didn’t usually like shopping to begin with, unless it was for art supplies, but this was by far one of her worst experiences with it to-date. Not only was it exhausting to try on pile after pile of clothing, but Lana’s bladder had been angrily needling at her for at least two hours now. 

It certainly didn’t help that the stalls in the changing rooms were all painfully similar to the stalls in a restroom. The visuals seemed to be confusing her bladder, because every time she stepped into one of the changing stalls, it spasmed and tried to loosen itself, and she’d need to squeeze her legs tight to keep any spillage at bay.

She’d made a few attempts to head in the direction of a toilet whenever she’d managed to spot the signage for one, but Martha seemed to be totally oblivious to her need and always managed to tug her off in a different direction. 

Obviously, she should have just told Martha that she needed to pee, but for most of the day she’d just felt too embarrassed. Then, when her need passed from ‘urgent-but-manageable’ to ‘extreme-emergency’, it was close to time for the mall they were at to close and they still hadn’t found appropriate costumes. There wasn’t time to backtrack all the way to a restroom, pee, and then resume the search. 

Martha picked out several matching costumes and handed them to Lana, whom hobbled into one of the changing rooms to start trying them on. Over the last several hours, she’d discovered that getting undressed and re-dressed over and over again while really, really needing a toilet was the exact antithesis of a good time. Having to bend down and stretch out would compress her bladder, and she’d have to clench her muscles extra tight to avoid leaking. But, the worst part was always unzipping and pulling her pants down. 

After years and years of those actions being the precursor to sitting down on a toilet and letting it flow, her bladder grew more and more confused each time she did this and then didn’t allow it to release a few seconds afterward. Every time she registered the sound of her zipper parting, her muscles would loosen themselves and she’d have to cross her legs and bend over slightly to keep her need in check. 

Another thing that didn’t help was that a lot of the costumes Martha had been grabbing were skin-tight. Ordinarily, Lana would be happy that Martha wanted to see her in something that showed off her body so well, but in her current circumstance the material would cling too much to her bladder. A few times when she’d looked into the mirror, she’d actually seen a bit of a bump protruding in her center. She didn’t think she’d ever needed to pee so badly that it had left her looking swollen. 

Some of the costumes were also complicated to put on and take off. Like the dragon costume she was putting on now. Not only did it consist of a skin-tight, scaly suit, it also zipped up the back, requiring her to bend in an unusual way that made her abdomen feel like it was going to rip wide open. She bit her lip and hissed through her teeth as she finally pulled the zipper up all the way. 

She looked herself over. All things considered, she did like what she saw. If her bladder hadn’t been full enough to be visible, she was certain she would have looked even better, but still this wasn’t bad. The suit accentuated her curves well, and the claws on the gloves she’d put on looked menacing and cool. 

She hoped Martha would approve. That way, they could finally stop with this and she could try and make it to a toilet before the mall closed. She thought she could do it if they left right now. She knew exactly where the closest restroom was. She’d spent the last several hours lingering each time they walked past one. 

Lana stepped out of the changing stall in the costume. “M—Martha?” she called, her voice wavering. She hoped Martha didn’t notice. “Do you like it?” 

Martha opened the door to her own stall. She was dressed in a knight costume, and it looked awesome. Lana told her as much. She’d said Martha had looked awesome in every single thing she’d tried on so far that day, not that Martha had ever seemed to agree. 

Martha was staring at Lana, her mouth open. Lana realized her legs were crossed and that she’d been jiggling in her spot for the last several seconds. She tried to straighten herself out.

“Wow…” Martha said. “These. Definitely these.” 

Lana breathed a tentative sigh of relief. “Okay. That’s great,” she said. She almost added “Because I seriously need the restroom,” but shame held her back. She didn’t need to give all the details, she wanted to preserve a bit of mystery in their relationship and that was just one thing she didn’t have to talk about. It was a long walk back to the part of the city where they lived, it would only make sense for them to stop at the toilets before leaving. No reason to bring it up, or to whine like a toddler in the midst of potty training. 

She went back into the stall, her bladder panging as she pulled the lock into place. Whose idea was it to use the exact same kind of lock in here that was always used in restroom stalls!? She removed the claw gloves, then reached up behind her neck to unzip the suit. She tugged it, and couldn’t get it to move. 
Her heart pounding, she crossed her legs back together once more and felt around the zipper, trying to deduce if it was snagged. She couldn’t tell. It would probably be easier to have someone else get her out of this suit. She just had to wait for Martha. Martha’s costume didn’t have such an irritating zipper on it, so she should be available any second now. 

But, Lana didn’t have ‘any’ second, she only had the one she was currently living in. The one in which she really, really had to pee and she was scared her boiling bladder would sear straight through her skin. She rocked back and forth on her heels before throwing herself down on the bench. 

She doubled over so far that the top of her head brushed against the carpeted flooring. She cupped herself with both hands, trying to catch her breath and regain her fraying control. 

When she glanced to the side and saw her reflection, she moaned aloud at the sight. She looked so pathetic! She tried to straighten herself back out, bouncing up and down over and over on the bench, hands kneading against her crotch. Her bladder was doing cartwheels inside of her body, dismayed by all this extra waiting. She crossed her legs even tighter, the skintight material of the suit cutting into the stone of her bladder. 

There was a knock on the door to her stall. “Lana? You ready?” Martha called. 

“I can’t get the costume off!” Lana replied hoarsely. 

“Oh,” Martha said, and Lana heard her laugh a little. “Want me to help you?” 

“Yes, please!” Lana called. She forced herself to her feet, feeling a tiny dribble of urine slip out with the motion. It was a good thing she was buying the costume she had on… She pressed a hand to her mouth, trying not to moan out loud, before unlocking the door. 

Martha stepped in and looked Lana over. She didn’t look so good… She was swaying on her feet and looked positively frazzled. “Tired?” Martha guessed. “It’s been a long day…” 

Lana tried to nod. “I’d like to get out of here,” she said. 

“Okay,” Martha said, reaching to the zipper on Lana’s back. “Sorry. I guess I got carried away, I just… I wanted our first Halloween to be perfect, you know?” 

“…Yeah,” Lana said. 

Martha tugged the zipper. “Oh, it’s a little stuck,” she said. “Hold on.” 

Lana, who had been so preoccupied by her need for the toilet took a few seconds to fully realize— Martha was undressing her. The agony of her bladder pulsing under the suit was too intense for her to feel that turned on, but it was still exciting. 

Then Martha tugged again and announced that it may take a minute, and Lana couldn’t stop herself from moaning as she bounced some more. 

“Hey, it’s alright,” Martha said. “There’s still fifteen minutes until they close, don’t wor—“ 

“I need to use the restroom,” Lana said softly. 

“…Oh,” Martha said, now understanding Lana’s tight posture and twitching body. “Well, I’ll have you out in a minute or two, just—“ 

“Hurry…” Lana pleaded, and now that Martha knew she needed to pee she felt no reason to keep hiding it. Her hands went back to clutching between her quivering thighs. 

“I will, I’m hurrying,” Martha set to work yanking and pulling on the zipper, finally it came loose and was able to be dragged downward. Soon the upper part of Lana’s back was bare and a second after that, in spite of how tightly she was cupping herself, Lana was peeing. 

Panicked, Lana pressed even more firmly against herself and looked down to find no puddle forming. 

The sudden feeling of fading pressure had merely been the area of the suit that had been pressing into her bladder loosening away. It had just given her bladder more of the room it needed to expand. The absence of the tight material was such a relief that it felt almost like peeing… She felt more capable of holding it for however long it took to get to a toilet. When the suit was finally off, she could see even more clearly the straining bowling ball that had taken up residence in the center of her body. 

Martha noticed it too. “Wow… You… You DO need to go…” 

Lana wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. This was her first time being totally naked in front of Martha, and the first thing she’d noticed was her bladder! She crossed her legs and tried not to let the embarrassment show, “I—“ 

“Hurry and get your clothes on,” Martha said. “I… I really think you might be starting to hurt yourself! Jeez, you should have told me it was so bad!” 

So, Martha had only zeroed in on that out of concern, Lana realized. That was a little better… That meant Martha was just worried, not that she didn’t find Lana attractive. Lana hurried to tug on her shirt, then pulled her pants up as fast as she could. She could not, however, bring herself to button them. The pressure of closing her pants around her waist would most definitely be too much, so she just pulled her shirt down a little further to cover it up. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Martha said. “I’ll buy the costumes, you just go pee, alright?” 

“O—Okay,” Lana said, trying not to let her voice tremble too much. 

Lana rushed from the changing rooms, but then found her gait slowing to a painful, mincing, contorted hobble as her bladder protested the harsh pounding of her feet against the ground. She was dribbling again, and she didn’t want to hold herself anymore now that she wasn’t in the privacy of a stall. But, she couldn’t help it, if she didn’t try to press herself shut, she’d burst. 

She made it out of the store with only a couple more leaks. She tried to remember where the closest toilet was, and realized it was just a couple shops down. Each step was like a knife through her body and when she finally saw the sign for the women’s room, she thought she may have cried. 

She shoved the door open, and was stunned by how happy a person could be to see a row of toilet stalls. She immediately ducked into the nearest one, noisily drew the lock into place, yanked down her pants and threw herself down onto the toilet. 

She collapsed back against the tank of the toilet, relief flowed over her and out of her, her lips fell open in slack-jawed bliss. She actually started to tear up from the sensation. The pure goodness of letting her bladder drain after such a long time spent holding it back was all Lana could understand for a long time. Pee just continued to jet out of her, pounding against the water in the toilet bowl. The room was empty and aside from the sounds of Lana’s thunderous stream and all the sighs that continually fell from her lips, there was no sound. 

After an age, her bladder was at last emptied, but she just sat there for a moment in a daze. It took her a bit to remember how to stand back up again. Once she’d pulled her pants on and washed off her hands, she exited the room to find Martha waiting for her. Lana felt herself going warm with humiliation. “I’m sorry, that was gross,” Lana said. 

“What?” Martha asked. “You just had to pee. Are you okay? You feel good now?” 

“So good,” Lana admitted. “But, I should have said something earlier, I just—“ 

“Yeah. You should have.” 

“I just didn’t want to waste time, I know the costume stuff is important to you.” 

Martha hugged Lana close, “Not as important as your health, silly.”

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“This is the best number in the whole show,” Martha whispered excitedly. 

“Shhhh!” A number of people around her within the dark theater hissed. Offering them a forced smile from her blushing face, she silenced herself. 

Lana reached a hand over to give Martha’s a squeeze. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” Lana whispered. “I know you can’t help how excited you get over musicals sometimes.” Her gentle grasp and soothing words caused Martha to sigh and loosen up again. 

“Thanks, Lana,” Martha said, making sure to keep her voice down. “I’m glad I’m seeing this with someone who doesn’t judge me for getting too excited over the stuff I love.” 

Lana squeezed Martha’s hand again, feeling a tingle run through her as she returned her attention to the stage. 

A couple hours later, the performance met its end and the audience began making their way out. “Wow,” Martha said. “It’s even better seeing it a third time!” She wrapped her arms around Lana, giving her a tight hug. 

While Lana melted into the embrace, the strong grip elicited a strong spasm from her center, powerful enough to make her squeeze her legs together. “Ah, let go!” Lana said as she pulled the other’s wrists away. “That was a pretty long show, and I didn’t use the bathroom before leaving.” 

“Oh,” Martha said. “I didn’t realize you had to tinkle.” 

“Don’t say it like that, Martha,” Lana said with a nervous laugh. “It’s embarrassing.” 

“Lana has to tinkle,” Martha repeated, making Lana laugh again as they left the theater. 

“If you keep making me laugh, I’m not going to make it,” Lana said. 

“Okay,” Martha said, leaning over to give Lana’s cheek a light kiss. “I should probably go too. It’s a long way back home.” A few minutes later, they’d made it to the end of the line for the women’s restroom. After several minutes of waiting and hearing streams flow and toilets flush— Sounds which had made Lana cross her legs and jiggle even as embarrassment bolted through her— The two were finally at the front. Both of them took stalls side by side. 

Lana shut and locked the door behind her, her bladder starting to loosen up at the sight of the toilet. She realized now just how full she was and was surprised she’d lasted through that whole show. She pulled her pants down and took a seat on the toilet. 

Before she could relieve the pressure swelling her bladder, her eyes flicked down and caught the sight of the shoes in the stall next to hers. Oh right, Martha was right beside her. While she was sitting on the toilet, peeing. 

Or, NOT peeing, rather… 

Lana’s ears picked up on the sound of a stream hissing in the next stall, followed by a small sigh from Martha’s lips. Now, of course, Lana had peed in bathroom stalls beside other women lots of times, more than enough times to know how audible the trickling was, but this time the knowledge made Lana feel different. When she started peeing, Martha was going to hear every last drop. 

Lana tried to shoo those thoughts from her mind and just do what she’d come here to do. She really did have to pee after all, and had expected it to just burst right out the instant she’d seated herself. But, her stream was still locked away inside her body. What the Hell? Confused, she tried to kind of push down on her muscles, but this action did not make her feel any closer to letting it flow. She even tried prodding a hand over her lower abdomen, but this only produced pain rather than a stream.

She just kept thinking about how Martha was gonna be able to hear her peeing, and the more she thought about that, the more determined her bladder seemed to be to remain full. A few seconds later, she heard Martha stand up and flush and panic flooded her veins. Lana really had to hurry up and go now, or Martha was gonna get real confused why she was just sitting in a restroom stall and not doing anything. 

Lana shut her eyes tightly and told herself Martha was at the sinks now, she wouldn’t hear her, but now that she felt the need to rush, her muscles were just tightening more and more and she couldn’t get anything out. The sensation of the toilet seat beneath her was making her need worsen, but her body still refused to give in. Finally, and with a great deal of frustration, Lana stood and pulled her pants back up before exiting the stall, with a bladder that felt fuller than it had been when she’d entered it. 

She could NOT understand what had happened in there, but decided she could wait until she got home to pee. Even if washing her hands at the sink made her want to turn back around and try again as her bladder throbbed with new vigor. 

“Better?” Martha asked Lana once she’d left the restroom. 

Lana couldn’t bring herself to admit that no, she didn’t feel better at all, she still really had to go. So, she forced a nod. She was extremely confused. Nothing like THAT had ever happened to her before. Ordinarily, the second she felt the toilet seat underneath her body, her bladder would instantly know what it was time for and release. She didn’t have to think about it, it just happened. So, why was it different this time? 

As she and Martha left the building, Lana wondered if maybe her need for the bathroom was just her imagination. She was a little unsure how that could be the case, because it definitely REALLY felt like she had to pee, but if nothing was coming out, then that had to mean there wasn’t actually anything in there, right? But, as she and Martha kept walking down the street, every step made Lana more and more aware of the pressure within herself. She could practically feel her bladder sloshing. She definitely DID need to pee! 

But then, why wouldn’t it come out? That, to her, sounded like a serious problem. Peeing was a basic necessity, it couldn’t be put off forever. If she couldn’t get her bladder to empty, then the discomfort she was feeling would become unbearably awful. Her heart actually started to pound, what in the world was the matter with her? Was there something wrong with her bladder? Were the muscles… broken? Could that happen? Or, did she have a kidney stone? She was only eighteen! Did eighteen year olds even GET kidney stones? Was the problem… Lower? Like, was something… Obstructing the flow? How would that even HAPPEN, though? 

Cancer could happen in the bladder, couldn’t it? Was this one of the early warning signs? Oh, God. What if it was? What if she had Cancer? There WAS a history of Cancer in her family, so it wasn’t too inconceivable that— 

“Lana?” Martha abruptly stopped walking. “You’re breathing funny… What’s the matter?” 

“I was… Thinking about something,” Lana said. “But, I’m okay. Don’t worry.” She felt a little silly now for jumping straight to thinking that she had a fatal illness just because she couldn’t pee. There were probably a myriad of other explanations that weren’t deadly, even if she didn’t know what they were. Maybe once she was home and had another chance to use the toilet, whatever this problem was would have resolved itself and she’d be able to go just like always. 

The thought of that made her tense her thighs a little as she and Martha paused at a crosswalk. She wanted to bounce in her place, but doing so would grab Martha’s attention again and Lana didn’t know if she’d be able to come up with a decent excuse for being so wriggly. And she really didn’t want to admit she had to pee when Martha THOUGHT she’d only just gone! 

“What were you thinking about?” Martha asked when the sign changed and they were able to cross the street. 

Lana worried at her lip, “N—Nothing,” she said. “It was… Nothing…” She was mentally counting down the blocks they still had left to walk before they reached a subway station. Then the stops they’d have to wait through before they reached Lana’s. Then all the distance she’d still have to walk to get home… Her bladder seemed to swell more and more at the thought of all the ground she still had left to cover before she reached a toilet— One that she still wasn’t one hundred percent positive would grant her relief. 

What if when she got home and sat on the bowl, her bladder STILL didn’t want to empty? What would she do THEN? 

“Lana—“ 

“It’s nothing,” Lana insisted. 

Martha fell silent. The worst feeling in the world overtook her stomach. The one that felt like it was opening up and turning itself into a bottomless pit. She knew Lana was not rejecting her right now, that whatever this was was simply not something she wanted to discuss, but the ache was still there. The painful tug of feeling closed out and abandoned. She tried not to feel this way, her therapist had told her many, many times that her intense fear of being alone caused her to overreact and cling to people when they needed space. She knew that, for the most part, her fears were unfounded; Lana not talking to her about one thing did not mean that Lana no longer liked her, but the spinning wheels in Martha’s brain insisted to her that Lana was trying to shut her out. 

She very nearly tried to push it further, but ‘pushing things further’ when the other person hadn’t been in the mood was part of the reason she and Lydia were no longer friends. So, Martha fought down the urge and told herself that if Lana wanted her to know what the problem was, she’d tell her. 

Lana absolutely did NOT want Martha to know what her problem was! But, it was becoming increasingly difficult not to make the problem more obvious. Every time they stopped walking, Lana would cross her legs. She tried to make it look casual, but she was squeezing them so tight she knew that it couldn’t have appeared very natural. Her bladder felt like a water balloon that was wrapped around a nozzle turned on full-blast. It was expanding and expanding, stretching out further than it was meant to. It was in danger of popping. 

They finally reached the subway station. Martha easily walked down the steps, but Lana struggled to follow her. She felt like one wrong move would cause the balloon inside her abdomen to break apart and flood its contents all the way down the stairs. Every time she eased herself down a step, her bladder would convulse and she had to fight down the urge to cup her hands against herself. The twisting ache within her body was becoming more and more painful by the second. 

When she finally reached the bottom of the stairs, Martha was looking at her. Lana forced herself to straighten up. Forced herself to smile. Forced herself to pretend that she HAD peed back at the theater, that she’d sprayed out a nice, thick stream into the toilet and so now had a perfectly empty bladder and didn’t need anything at all. 

Martha was very worried. Lana had basically stumbled down the stairs as if both her shoes had pointed spikes embedded in their heels. She’d been bracing herself with the handrail the whole time and appeared to have been having a very difficult time not falling down them. Maybe she was dizzy? A stomach ache? She SO badly wanted to ask Lana if she was okay, but Lana didn’t seem to be in the mood to talk. What if Lana got mad at her for continuing to ask her questions? 

“Martha…” Lana said. “I’m… Not feeling well.” She knew she couldn’t possibly pass for ‘normal’ anymore. Better to have Martha think she was coming down with the flu than know she was holding back what felt like several liters of piss. “How much further to my apartment?” 

Wow, Martha thought. Lana really must not be feeling good if she couldn’t even remember the way back to her own home! “We’re close,” she said. “Is… Is your stomach hurting?” 

It… Actually kind of was. The pressure in Lana’s bladder was beginning to course through her entire lower half, and it WAS making her stomach ache. She nodded. 

“Hopefully you’ll get a place to sit down on the train…” Martha said. “Come on…” 
A few minutes later, Lana was sat on the subway, her bladder protesting loudly every time it jostled her. She was sitting atop her hands, trying to keep them from pressing into her crotch as her knees jiggled and fanned in and out in front of her. Her pulse was racing as she counted down the stops that were left. Her bladder was painfully full and she was scared now that she’d never make it home. 

Whatever problem had plugged her up at the theater must have been gone now, because she’d leaked the first uncontainable spurt of urine into her pants a few minutes ago. This had been equal parts horrifying and relieving. It was horrifying that she’d wet herself a little in public, but relieving that doing so had confirmed that she COULD, in fact, still pee. 

Maybe she’d go to a store or something on the way back to her apartment building. That could work! Martha got off at a different stop, so she wouldn’t be there to think it was weird Lana already had to go again. It would be fine! She’d dash into the first place she saw with an available bathroom, fling herself onto the toilet and release everything at long, long last… 

The fantasy was perhaps a little too vivid, as another little squirt of liquid hissed out of her and her thighs clenched and rubbed together as she fought to stop it. 

When they reached her stop, Lana stood very, very gently. It felt like she was attempting to move while balancing an extremely full glass of water in her hands, trying her damnedest not to let it spill. 

But, spill it did. A third leak warmed her drying pants and then she DID put a hand between her legs, fingers digging firmly against her urethra. The relief this brought was great, but she forced herself to let go a second later when Martha spoke; “I’ll walk you the rest of the way home,” she said. 

“Y—You don’t have to do that…” Lana said. She couldn’t make it all the way home! She had to stop somewhere to pee! 

Martha nodded, “You’re sick,” she said. “I want to make sure you get home safe.” 

“I—“ 

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind,” Martha promised, following Lana as she hobbled from the train. 

Going up the stairs to exit the station was even worse than going down them had been earlier. Martha stayed right by her side and held onto her arm to steady her, unwittingly preventing her from pressing her hands firmly against herself like she so badly wanted to. Every step made a few more drops escape, made her bladder feel like it was being bounced up and down, poked with a sharp pin… 

“Lana, it’s okay,” Martha said. “When you get home, ask your Dad or Grandpa for some medicine. And get lots of sleep, okay? Sleep’s really important when you’re sick.” 

Lana wasn’t listening to a word she was saying. She couldn’t listen. Her bladder was screaming so loudly she could hear nothing else. When they reached the top of the staircase, Martha released her arm and Lana stumbled forward, hands cramming between her legs. “Ohhh…” she moaned. 

“We’re almost there,” Martha promised. “You can lay down and everything will be—“ She stopped, eyes stilling on the placement of Lana’s hands. “Lana…?” 

“Martha…” Lana choked out. It was hard to speak through all the shame and desperation she felt. “I… I need to—“ 

“You didn’t go at the theater…” Martha said, suddenly comprehending at least some of Lana’s behavior. She understood perfectly well now why she’d been walking so strangely, why she’d been breathing so heavily, why she’d been so quiet… But, she didn’t understand at ALL why she hadn’t peed back at the theater. She’d seen Lana come out of a stall. What had she been doing in there if she hadn’t been peeing? 

“I… Couldn’t,” Lana admitted, her explanation making no sense to her even though it was the truth. 

“You couldn’t?” Martha repeated. “What do you mean? I know you got a turn in a stall, what—“ 

“I… I don’t know,” Lana whimpered. Tears had formed in the corners of her eyes. She was just so embarrassed and confused and her bladder HURT… “I… I mean— I… I sat down like always, but… Nothing happened. I… Couldn’t.” 

Martha shook her head. She didn’t understand this at all. What did Lana mean ‘she couldn’t’? She’d been on a toilet, her pants presumably down… There was zero reason she shouldn’t have been able to pee. But, Lana was obviously very upset and in pain right now, and that took precedence over Martha’s confusion. “There’s a store across the street that should have a bathroom,” she said. “Come on.” 

Again, Martha was steadying Lana as they walked along. Again, every step was making Lana leak little drops. But, unlike before, Lana was now cupping herself for dear life, so humiliated that Martha was seeing her do it, but unable to stop. 

They entered the store, and Martha quickly took Lana to the back and flung open the door to the ladies’ room. She helped her hobble to a stall and then finally released her hold on her. “There you go!” she said. 

Lana gave her a short half-nod, then quickly shut the door and fumbled the lock into place. She ripped down her pants and slammed herself onto the toilet seat. This was going to feel amazing! 

Except… 

It still wouldn’t come out. 

She still couldn’t go. 

Her brain began firing just like it had back at the theater. Martha was going to hear her pee as it hissed and sprayed and splashed. And it would be even worse HERE since Martha was not also peeing, just standing there and worrying about her! Lana’s muscles, rather than going loose and light with relief, tightened and twisted around each other, refusing to let more than a few errant drops plink into the bowl beneath her. 

Martha waited outside the stall. She’d been expecting to hear Lana peeing right away, but there was just silence. Maybe Lana wet herself as soon as she saw the toilet? Well, no, that couldn’t be it. Martha would have still heard that, right? ‘She really… Can’t go?’ Martha thought. Even now that she was witnessing the problem for herself, it still didn’t make any sense. She stepped forward and knocked on the stall door. “Lana…? Are you okay?” 

“No!” Lana exclaimed, and then began to cry. “Martha, it hurts!” 

Martha’s chest ached. “Just… Try to relax?” she knew that was horrible advice. If someone had to TRY to relax, then there was no way they could actually BE relaxed. 

“I’m trying!” Lana sobbed back. “I can’t… I can’t…” 

Martha was panicking now too, “Do you need the hospital!?” she asked. “I can— I can call someone? I—“ 

“I need…” Lana managed, her voice hoarse and choked with her misery. “I… Can you go wait outside the room, please? Please, Martha? I can’t… I don’t… I don’t think I can go with you there! I just— Please, Martha, it hurts so bad!” 

Martha took a hesitant step backwards. “You…?” 

“I can’t do it with you in here!” Lana exclaimed. “I really, really can’t! Please, just leave!” 

And that was it. Lana really was shutting her out. “…Okay…” Martha creaked out, hollow. “I’ll go…” She returned to the door, and stepped out of the restroom. She knew that this was utterly ridiculous. Lana wanting privacy while she used the bathroom was NOT Lana rejecting her. She’d meant ‘Just leave, I want to be by myself while I pee’, not ‘Just leave, I don’t want you around’. It was absurd to think otherwise. And it was even stupider that now, Martha was thinking about how a part of Lana’s body didn’t like her; As if Lana’s bladder had an actual brain and could form its own opinions. 

Inside the restroom, Lana heard the door swing shut behind Martha. She was alone now. Martha wouldn’t hear a thing, she didn’t have to worry about Martha overhearing— 

PPPPSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

“Ohhhh….!!”

… That. 

An intense torrent of piss blasted the water beneath Lana, splashing and hissing furiously. This was followed immediately by an involuntary moan of indescribable relief. She slumped forward as her bodily forcibly ejected every drop of pee she’d been forcing it to retain inside. She felt like she was releasing buckets and buckets of liquid, and that feeling was something incredible… She sat up straighter and rubbed a hand over her lower belly, trying to massage away all the aching that was still present within it. To her surprise, stroking herself there as pee swirled out of her overtaxed bladder made it all feel even better. The sensation of something inside her shrinking and deflating became more and more pronounced, and it drew forth yet another moan. “Ahhh…” 

Her stream at last died off and after cleaning herself up and straightening her clothing in the mirror, she exited the restroom, feeling like she could walk on air. “Thank you…” she said to Martha. 

Martha looked at her girlfriend, no longer contorted, no longer crying, no longer pained… And all she’d needed to get to that point was for… Martha to… go away… “Why’d you need me to leave?” 

Lana looked away. “Like I said, I don’t know,” she said. “But, when I thought about you hearing me… Go… I just… Couldn’t do it. It’s not that I don’t trust you, if that’s what you’re worried about. I think… You know, I just don’t want the girl that I really, REALLY like to overhear me peeing.” 

Martha felt a little better hearing that. Lana didn’t struggle with peeing around her because she didn’t like her, Lana struggled with peeing around her because she DID like her a whole lot.

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  • 8 months later...

Written for the Omovember prompt "Peeing While Someone Watches."

***

Martha wanted to help Lana. 

It wouldn’t be good for their relationship if Lana couldn’t go to the toilet around her. What would happen if they ever decided to live together? Lana couldn’t just hold it indefinitely, or kick Martha out every time she had to go. That just wouldn’t work. 

Martha didn’t know HOW to help Lana, though. 

The whole idea of this was still weirdly upsetting to Martha. Irrational though it may have been, the thought that a part of Lana’s body really just didn’t like having her around was painful. And it didn’t make sense, either. Peeing was… Just peeing! It was easy, not the sort of thing a person had to TRY to do. 

Martha did her best to recall a time where urinating had required anything more out of her than just sitting down on a toilet seat and letting it happen. But, she couldn’t think of any such occurrence. She’d never had to think about it, she’d never had to work at it, she just… Found a toilet and peed. Wasn’t that how everyone did it? 

Apparently not Lana. 

But, why? 

Martha eventually found herself researching the problem, which wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. She didn’t even know what to search for. The phrase ‘My Girlfriend Can’t Pee’ did pull up a few results, but nothing useful. 

‘Why can’t my girlfriend hold her pee after having sex?’ 
‘Can I urinate on my girlfriend’ 
‘Why does my girlfriend feel like she needs to pee during sex’ 
‘My girlfriend has a weak bladder and can’t hold her pee’ 

Martha frowned. She was at least learning SOME new things, but none of those things were interesting to her or helpful. 

She tried again, now shortening the search to simply ‘can’t pee’. 

This brought up information on something called ‘urinary retention’, which Martha quickly learned could be a serious problem. The article she found even explained that urinary retention usually needed urgent medical attention, often involving catheterization. The condition had numerous causes, a lot of which sounded pretty bad, things like nerve damage, diabetes, or even a tumor! 

The symptoms were simple, with the biggest one being that the person had trouble making themselves pee even when desperate to go. 

That was EXACTLY what had happened to Lana, and Martha’s heart started to pound. Lana could have ended up in the hospital that night! Lana might have something really serious going wrong in her body. What if she did have a tumor? Or diabetes? And, since she didn’t know about it, didn’t know she had to see a doctor, was she just going to get sicker? 

She clicked the links for ‘tumors’ and ‘diabetes’, and a moment later her entire body relaxed. There were lots of other symptoms for those things. Aside from the urinary retention thing, Lana didn’t have any of them. 

So, Martha tried her search a third time. This time, she went with ‘Can’t pee around girlfriend’ and hit enter. Immediately, the top result sounded a lot closer to what Lana was dealing with. 

The article detailed a form of social anxiety in which a person found it difficult or impossible to pee when someone else was near them. To Martha’s relief, the article explained that there was nothing physically wrong with Lana’s body, that this problem was just inside her head. 

There was one thing that didn’t make Martha feel better, though. According to the article, a person with Paruresis had trouble peeing around ANYBODY, but Lana only seemed to have a problem around HER. If this shy-bladder thing was just how Lana ALWAYS was, then Martha thought she’d feel better about it, she wouldn’t stress that it spelled doom for them as a couple. But, since Lana was exclusively pee-shy around her and her alone, Martha felt that she had reason to worry. 

The more she read, the more she fretted. Apparently, people who had shy bladders would sometimes have a ‘pee partner’ to help them out, someone they trusted to have around while they tried to urinate in a public setting. So then, why was Martha the ONE person Lana had this trouble with? Shouldn’t Lana have trusted Martha MORE than anyone else? 

Martha tried to put it out of her head, tried telling herself that this wasn’t a big deal. But, it was. She was hopeful that she and Lana would stay together for years. She was hopeful that she and Lana would one day share a home. How in the world could Lana ever live with someone that she couldn’t use the toilet near? 

Martha’s research told her that maybe, after enough times trying it, Lana would get more comfortable peeing around her. So, Martha decided it would be a good idea to get her some practice. 

That weekend, they went to a mall together. Martha had wanted to talk to Lana about the problem all through the week. She’d wanted to propose a solution to her. But, she’d never managed to work up the nerve. Martha still just couldn’t understand what the big deal was to Lana; Martha had peed in front of Lana once before— She’d even done it naked!— It had been very, very embarrassing, but Lana hadn’t thought it was a big deal to watch Martha pee, so then why did she think it WOULD be a big deal the other way around? 

Martha just had to PROVE to Lana that it was no big deal, she thought. And today, she was going to try doing exactly that. In the food court, she challenged Lana to a slushy drinking contest and, laughing, Lana agreed— She even won! 

Before long though, those slushys were more than ready to come out, and when they walked by a restroom, Lana mumbled that she had to use it. Martha nodded, she needed to go quite a bit as well, all that sugar-water had rushed straight through her. “Okay,” she said. “I gotta go, too.” 

Martha noticed the slight flinch in Lana’s facial expression, a tiny little tug at the corners of her lips. “O—Okay,” she said, heading to the women’s room door. 

Martha smiled. This was easy. Now, they’d pee together and Lana would understand that it was okay. Martha took her stall and sat on the toilet, her pee easily bursting forth the instant she was on the seat. “Ahhh…” she sighed, trying to show how relaxed and comfortable she was with everything that was happening. That was sure to put Lana more at ease, right? 

Not right. Lana’s body was filled with tension as she sat in her own stall. She’d picked the one furthest from Martha’s, but they were the only two people in this restroom so it didn’t really help. When Martha started to let loose a hissing stream, Lana’s bladder had cramped at the noise, wanting nothing more than to join in. But, as more and more pressure built up against her opening, the muscles controlling it only seemed to grow more taut. 


When Lana heard Martha sigh, she nibbled on her lip and pushed down on her pelvic muscles as hard as she could— Surely Martha was nearly finished if she was making noises like that, right? And there Lana still was, just sitting there doing nothing! As the other toilet flushed and Martha got up and exited her stall, Lana tried not to groan as she felt she’d missed her chance for relief. 

And, Lana really, REALLY needed some relief right now. Her bladder was achingly full, and the feeling of the toilet beneath her was a horrendous tease on it. Different parts of her mind and body were all engaged in a brutal tug-of-war. Her bladder screamed‘We’re ON the toilet! Let me go pee!’ and rationality agreed ‘Just go, that’s what toilets are for.’ But then, her anxiety responded ‘No way! It’s too embarrassing!’ Her bladder, growing more insistent, shouted ‘But, I can’t hold it!’, and her tense sphincters yelled back ‘Yes you can!’ 

The conflicting feelings in her brain and the stinging warzone in her abdomen combined together to make Lana feel almost dizzy. 

Martha was washing her hands at the sink. She hadn’t heard Lana pee while she’d been going, and Lana was still in the stall so she figured she hadn’t gone yet… That was okay, though. Martha would wait for her however long she needed it. THAT was probably the whole reason why she was nervous! She thought Martha would get impatient and annoyed with her! Martha had to say something, she called back over her shoulder “Don’t worry Lana, take as much time as you have to! I’ll wait here.” 

Instead of those words being reassuring and comforting as Martha had intended, Lana only grew more distressed. She’d been hoping Martha would leave the room after she’d washed her hands, and then Lana could spray out her bladder’s contents as quickly and powerfully as she could manage. 

But, no.

Martha was going to stay. 


“Th—That’s okay!” Lana called back. “You can wait outside and look at some stores! I’ll be done in a minute!” 

“I really don’t mind,” Martha repeated. Poor Lana sure was nervous about this. But, Martha didn’t CARE if she lost a little window-shopping time waiting on her. It was fine. 

Lana frowned. She considered just getting up, pretending she’d finished and trying again later. But, Martha would know she hadn’t gone, because she hadn’t heard any trickling. And the pressure inside Lana’s body was already driving her nuts. 

To her utmost dismay, Lana looked down and noticed both of her knees were rapidly bouncing up and down, occasionally stopping so that she could wind her ankles around each other. She was doing the very same seated pee-dance that she sometimes did on the subway when she’d forgotten to go before leaving school and was straining to hold it. 

Except this time she was doing it while on the toilet. This time she was doing it when she had literally no reason to still be holding it. Frustrated, her hands began to twine through her hair, and she tugged on a few of her curls. She did her best to make her legs go still— How was she ever going to make herself pee if she was twisting around like she really wanted it to stay in?! 

Outside the stall, Martha waited and waited, growing more perplexed. She’d reassured Lana enough, hadn’t she? She’d told her she didn’t mind waiting, shouldn’t that have helped her relax? Did she need more? “Lana, it’s really okay for you to pee, you know that right?” 

Lana’s pulse started to race, throbbing in time with her aching bladder. Martha must have thought she was so weird! What kind of person had this much trouble using the toilet? Especially when they were bursting at the seams to go! “I… I… Could you please go wait outside?” she asked finally. “I can’t—“ 

“I know, you’re embarrassed and stuff,” Martha said. “But, you shouldn’t be. Everyone pees. So, you don’t need to feel so nervous.” After laying it all out so simply like that, Martha expected Lana’s flow to burst forth immediately. 

But it didn’t. 

Martha tried again. “I mean it,” she said. “Just relax, it’s no big deal.” 

“…Please just wait outside,” Lana repeated. “I can’t do it around you. I just can’t. That’s all there is to it.” 

And that clawing, aching pit in Martha’s stomach was opening itself wide once more. They could never work as a couple if Lana was this scared of doing perfectly normal, natural things around her. They’d never live together. They’d drift apart. Martha would have no one and nobody… “You can,” she said simply. “You can do it, you just have to try.” 

Lana’s racing pulse pitched up a few octaves as suddenly her frustration became the only thing she could feel. “Just have to try?!” she repeated sharply. How could Martha believe THAT?! “Martha, I have to pee SO bad! I need it so bad that it hurts, and all I want to do is GO, how am I NOT trying?!” 

Martha stumbled back at the obvious anger in Lana’s voice. She… Really hadn’t meant to upset her. She’d been trying to help! Trying to make her understand that she was being ridiculous, and… 

Lana had said she needed to pee so badly that it was hurting her. 

If it was causing pain, that meant Lana really couldn't control this as easily as Martha thought, could she? 

“I’m sorry…” Martha’s voice was quiet and tiny in the large, echoey restroom. “I’m sorry. I wanted to help, but I don’t think I’m understanding this whole thing right. You really CAN’T control it, can you?” 

“I can’t…” Lana agreed, her annoyance dissipating. Martha wasn’t doing any of this to be malicious, wasn’t TRYING to torment her and make her feel bad. “I don’t— I don’t know why this—“ 

“I read online, it’s called Paruresis,” Martha said. “Means you can’t… Can’t go around other people. Or, at least, not around me…” 

Lana’s knees had started bouncing again, her urethral opening stung and burned as she continued trying with all her might to release the gushing spray of urine imprisoned inside her. “Does that…” she winced as a sharp, fiery spasm ripped through her bladder. “Does that bother you? That I can’t…” 

“It… Does,” Martha admitted. “I know it’s stupid, but like… I want us to live together someday, and if you can’t… ‘Go’ around me, then we won’t ever be able to…” 

Lana suddenly realized there were tears in her eyes, and she wasn’t sure when that had started. Was her body just trying to find any way to shove out its excess liquid, or were Martha’s words doing it? “You… Want us to live together?” 

“Y—Yeah,” Martha said. “Someday… But, you know, you’ll have to be able to pee around me for that to work.” 

Lana’s pulse started to slow, and the coldness of her frustration and agony gave way to the warmth of her love for Martha. “I would really like to live together…” she said. But, Martha was right. She couldn’t share a home with someone that she couldn’t handle peeing close to. She pushed once more on her muscles, so hard that she was grunting, but still not peeing… She just… Couldn’t stand the thought of Martha hearing— 

Lana reached for her purse on the floor, she retrieved her phone and the earbuds attached to it before sliding it under the stall door. “L—Listen to music, Martha, please? You can stay, but listen to music,” she pleaded. 

Martha picked up the phone and put in the earbuds. She tapped the screen a few times and a song began to play loudly in her ears. “Okay,” she said, a little louder than she’d intended.

“You have music on!?” Lana asked, already feeling some of the tension down below ceding. 

“Yeah!” 

“Ohhh, thank you!” Lana cried out, her bladder bursting wide open at that last bit of reassurance. Pee gushed and hissed into the bowl below her, and immediately she felt the glorious sensation of something inside her core slowly shrinking down, down, down… Her liquids hissed, splattered and splashed, but she didn’t mind because Martha was listening to something else, covering up all her noises. 


When her geyser finally finished erupting and she’d left her stall feeling SO much better, Lana nodded to Martha. “O—Okay, I did it…” 

Martha took out the earbuds. Truthfully, she had been able to hear some of Lana’s relief, even with the music overtop of it, it would have been impossible not to. She wondered if she should tell Lana that, say she’d heard her peeing and it had been no big deal at all, but she decided against it. A solution had been found for the time being, and Martha didn’t want to risk it not working a second time. “Okay now?” 

“Yeah,” Lana said. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m like this with you.” 

Martha drew her in for a hug, “Hey, it’s alright. I’ll try to understand it better, and we can work through this together.” 

Lana squeezed her back.

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