Jump to content
Existing user? Sign In

Sign In



Sign Up

Recommended Posts

Like the last few stories I've posted, this was originally written using characters from a non-kink book I've written. So, name-changes were made and the setting was kept vague to keep it from being recognizable, I hope the vagueness does not distract from the desperation content. 

A little bit of background that you need for this one to help it make a bit more sense is that Alex was raised in a cult. He grew up extremely isolated and has little understanding of how a lot of things work. He and Adam don’t really talk about the cult by name, just with terms like ‘how you grew up’ or ‘that place from before’, so I just want to spell it out clearly up here.

*** 

There were many firsts Alex had with his boyfriend Adam. Adam had been his first kiss, his first sexual experience, his first everything. The first time Alex ever went to see a movie, it had been with Adam. The first time Alex ever picked out his own clothes, it had been with Adam. The first time Alex ever drank soda, it had been with Adam. 

Alex’s life up until a couple years ago, when Adam and his family moved in next door to his own, had been very unusual. Alex rarely ever went far beyond his family’s property and the woodland that surrounded it. He’d only been inside a restaurant a small handful of times. When his Mama took him grocery shopping, he was to stay right beside the cart and not look at anyone else. The only time Alex, or any of his five siblings, really interacted with people outside the family was at their church, but their church had been very unusual as well. 

Then, Adam moved in next door. Adam and his parents were so different from anyone Alex had ever seen. Adam was so free, and he seemed to always know exactly what he wanted out of life and how to get it. Alex never knew any of those things; Adam had helped him learn, and soon they discovered how much they truly had in common. 

Adam eventually came out to Alex; When Adam was born, people had assumed he was actually a girl, a notion that he’d protested from the moment he could speak. At first, Alex had been upset by this news, he’d been taught that people like Adam were horrible, monstrous even. But, Adam wasn’t monstrous at all, Adam was still Alex’s friend. 

And… Everything Adam was saying, all the descriptions he’d provided about his feelings and his identity, all of it had made so much sense to Alex. And, that was when Alex realized that he wasn’t a girl, either. 

When tensions between their families erupted, Alex’s family split apart. His Mama and a few of his siblings moved to the city with Adam and his family, while Alex’s other siblings stayed with their Papa. Adam began to help Alex transition, Adam bought Alex special garments with which to flatten his chest, as well as a prosthetic device he could use to pee standing up, and taught him how to use it without making a mess. These were things that gave him a more masculine appearance and made him feel at home in his own skin for the first time in his life. 

That had all happened some time ago, Alex had been living authentically for quite a while now. He and Adam had their own place, and slept cuddled together each night like they’d always wanted to. When the nightmares came to Alex, reminding him of events whose only redeeming quality was the fact they were over, he could wake up in a comforting set of arms, catch his breath, and realize that he was always going to be safe now.

The biggest ‘first’ Alex had with Adam was this; Adam was the first person that made Alex feel complete and understood. 

Today, Alex was going to have another ‘first’ with Adam; His first time going to a rock concert. Rock music had been banned at Alex’s house growing up, just like all music with vocals, except for hymns; And even then, only the hymns that were approved by their church. Alex had never heard rock music until Adam had played some for him. 

Alex had been taught that rock was all about devil worship, but nothing in the songs Adam had shown to him had ever sounded evil. Most of it only made Alex feel pumped up and happy. 

Before they left for the concert, Alex nervously asked Adam how he looked. To Adam, Alex always looked hot; He liked to keep his hair long and tied back in a ponytail, which made him look a little like a rockstar, and he’d been blessed with every trans-man’s dream of a naturally masculine build, which only looked better now that he’d begun lifting weights. “You look great,” Adam told him. 

“My chest?” Alex asked. “Is it on right?” 

Adam knew Alex meant the binder. It had taken a while for Alex to learn how to put it on in a way that didn’t pinch or make it hard to breathe. It had been a while since Adam had needed to wear a binder himself, his top-surgery had been his eighteenth birthday present from his parents. He and Alex were still working on getting Alex onto the same path. 

Adam assured Alex that his chest looked fine, and that if nothing was pinching or squeezing too hard, that meant he’d put it on right. He added that he’d find Alex a binder with a zipper on the front, one that would be easier to put on and take off. “Are you ready to go?” he asked. 

Alex nodded, a little uneasily. The concert was being held at a stadium. Alex had never been inside a stadium before. He’d never been anywhere so big, and so full of people. It made his skin feel fluttery. “What is it like there?” he asked. 

“It will be loud and crowded,” Adam said. “And, I won’t lie, it’s pretty easy to get lost. But, just stick right next to me the whole time, and you’ll be okay.” 

“Okay…” Alex said, a hint of trepidation in his voice. 

The ride there was long. Partway through, Alex was given a very unwanted reminder that he had neglected to use the restroom before they’d left. He honestly just hadn’t felt any urge to go then, but he certainly did now. 

Adam probably wasn’t going to want to stop anywhere. It could make them late. And, Alex knew that lots of places didn’t let anybody use their restroom unless they bought something first. Some places didn’t let anybody use them at all. If they stopped at a place like that, they’d have to leave and find somewhere else, and maybe Alex wouldn’t be able to go there, either. It would just be a huge inconvenience, and Alex did not want to inconvenience Adam when he was so excited about the concert. 

The stadium would have a restroom somewhere, surely. Alex could hold it until then. And, he wouldn’t even have to worry about waiting for a stall. Now that he had his STP, he could use a urinal and be out in just a couple minutes, no time spent bouncing up and down as he waited anxiously for a free toilet. All he’d need to do was get to a vacant urinal, pull down his zipper and— 

Alex shook his head fiercely, trying to erase the fantasy as if his brain were an etch-a-sketch. Thinking about how nice peeing was gonna feel was going to turn what was now just a slight, thrumming annoyance into more of a true emergency. He flexed his thighs a little, adjusted in his seat, and looked out the window. 

Looking out the window didn’t really help him gauge how close they were. Even now, he’d seen so little of the city, and so much of it all looked identical to him. A bunch of big, tall, silver buildings, one right after the other. He could barely tell different areas of town apart from one another, he relied on landmarks to determine what things he was close to. And, he had no clue what things were near the stadium. Adam had told him earlier what street it was on, but Alex could barely remember the names of the streets close to their home, much less how they were all connected. 

“What places are next to the stadium?” Alex asked Adam suddenly. 

“Like restaurants?” Adam asked, assuming Alex was getting hungry. “Well, there’s a couple fast food places, and a pizza restaurant called Palazzo’s. That one’s really good, they make meatless pepperoni there. If you want, we can go there after the concert, but there will be snacks and stuff at the stadium.”

Alex nodded. He’d never been to Palazzo’s, so the information didn’t make him any more certain of where they were going or how close they were. He tapped his foot a little impatiently. He sure hoped they were getting close! His urge to pee was quickly transforming itself into a need that he didn’t think he could go without fulfilling for much longer. He kept picturing his stream flowing through his prosthetic to trickle gently into a urinal, tension easing from his body as his bladder steadily deflated and stopped trying to bother him. He squeezed his eyes shut against the image. He needed to stop thinking about it. But, it was getting really, really hard not to. His knees knocked together as the pulses of urgency started to come closer and closer together. 

He noticed a gas station out the window. He’d be allowed to pee there, wouldn’t he? But, no. On TV, gas station toilets were always really gross, and usually the characters had to do something to get the key to open the door, anyway. And, it was always something really time-consuming that just dragged out the whole process way longer than it needed to be. Alex didn’t want to make Adam late. He could hold it. 

So, he held it. He said nothing to Adam about his need for a urinal. He didn’t point out any of the gas stations they passed on their journey. He just sat there and held it in, as his bladder throbbed away at near constant intervals. 

Finally, they did arrive, and Alex exhaled. His bladder pulsed more strongly than it had at any point during the ride, and he clenched his fists and ground his teeth together as the wave of desperation passed through his body. Once it subsided and he could stand, he opened the car door and gingerly rose to his feet. “Nnnh!” he cried as he suddenly found himself fighting against gravity. All his liquid seemed to move straight downwards against his sphincters, begging and pleading to be permitted to flow just that extra bit further. 

Alex looked up at the stadium. It was a massive, circular building covered in super bright lights and huge screens. Tons of people were rushing in and out of it, and Alex felt intimidated. The hairs on his arms stood on end and, remembering what Adam had said earlier about sticking close to him, he dashed around to the other side of the car and pressed himself into Adam’s side. 

“Hey,” Adam said easily. “Don’t worry. I know you’re not used to things like this, but it’s okay. It’s perfectly safe.” 

Alex took Adam’s hand and squeezed it firmly. 

Well. Adam wasn’t going to complain about that… He simply squeezed back and led Alex towards the entrance. 

It took a while to get through. First, a man had to check their tickets with a scanner thing that looked sort of like the barcode readers at checkout in the grocery store. Alex wasn’t sure what the point of it was, because Adam had paid for the tickets online already. And the guy didn’t ask for any money. It was weird. 

Next, they had to take off their shoes, and Adam had to take off his bag, and then put it all into some bins so they could go through a tunnel thingy that x-rayed them. Alex wasn’t sure what the point of that was, either. But, it was really, really hard for him to bend down and unlace his shoes. As he knelt, it felt like all of his body weight was being placed right on top of his poor bladder. He could feel it being crushed and partially flattened in a way that was just awful! The overfull organ was practically screaming in pain, and Alex bit his lip against a whimper. 

After that, and after they’d gotten their shoes back, Alex just slipped his feet into them. He didn’t have it in him to crouch down a second time. He’d tie them after he’d peed. Hopefully, the peeing would come soon. 

They were past all the confusing security stuff now, and Alex once more planted himself to Adam’s side. “We’ve got some time before the concert,” Adam said. “There are some gift shops, and some places you can buy food. Or we can go right to our seats.” 

Alex’s bladder surged when none of the options Adam had presented had involved a toilet. So… Were there not restrooms here, then? There must have been, right? It was too big a building to not have any toilets, wasn’t it? But, as he glanced around, he didn’t see any signs for a restroom… Maybe that was a thing? Stadiums didn’t have restrooms because they were too full of other stuff? Maybe that should have been obvious, something everyone on Earth already knew except for Alex since he’d never been allowed to go anywhere. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever seen anyone on TV go to a stadium and use a restroom… 

Alex didn’t want to feel stupid asking Adam for a urinal if he ought to have already known there weren’t any here. He bounced on his toes as panic set in; How long was the concert gonna be? He really, really needed to go! But, it sounded like he was gonna have to wait until after, when they went to eat. Ohhh, the restaurant better have a toilet! 

Or… Or maybe he could tell Adam he had to pee badly, and could they please go somewhere with a restroom? But, no, then they’d have to do all that security stuff again, and he didn’t know how much time was left before the concert was due to start. There wasn’t time for Alex to pee. But, he just needed to. He needed to so much. “Adam, I—“ 

“Let’s get some pretzels,” Adam said. He’d noticed Alex turning paler, and swaying on his feet. Poor thing must have been starving! “You like those.” 

“O—Okay,” Alex said, gripping Adam’s hand tightly again as he was led off to a concession counter. He bobbed in place, lifting first his right foot and then his left. There was a big lemonade dispenser behind the counter, and as the liquid inside of it was mixed and spun around, the liquid inside of Alex did the exact same thing. 

While Adam ordered some pretzels, Alex drug his eyes away from the tortuous lemonade dispenser. He looked instead at the huge, wide hall that circled around the stadium. There were more concession counters, and the gift shops Adam had mentioned, and— His bladder suddenly began to push very firmly against his opening, recognizing relief before Alex himself had. There it was, a sign designating a men’s room. Ohhh, thank goodness! 

He felt a little silly for thinking there weren’t any restrooms here, but sometimes out in the real world, things were just so confusing that he was never certain what he could expect anywhere. His bladder urged him to dash straight down the hall and give in to his throbbing, pounding need. But, knew he had to stay right next to Adam. If they got separated, Alex knew for a fact he would be totally lost in a matter of seconds. He just had to wait until Adam finished talking with the concession man, then he’d say he had to pee, and Adam would take him to the restroom. 

Except, now that Alex knew he’d be peeing soon, his need to do so ramped up considerably. He was close to jumping up and down now. and every so often he’d palm his crotch. It was strange, but whenever he held onto the tip of his prosthetic when he needed to pee, it would actually make the urge subside a little bit. He knew it shouldn’t have had such an effect, but it did anyway. 

Adam finally finished with the concession guy and handed Alex one of the pretzels. “Here, eat,” he urged. “You don’t look so good.” 

Alex didn’t FEEL so good… It registered to him that it would be pretty gross to bring the pretzels with them into the restroom, so he decided he’d go after they’d eaten them. He immediately began scarfing his own down, just to get to his relief faster. 

“Heh,” Adam laughed. “Wow, you really are hungry, huh?” 

‘Not really,’ Alex thought. ‘I just need the restroom so bad!’ 

“Show’s about to start,” Adam said, taking a bit of his own pretzel. “We should go sit down.” 

Alex frowned at that. ‘But I have to pee first!’ he wanted to say, but his bladder wasn’t worth making Adam miss the start of the show. He kept his hand around Adam's as he was led into the main area of the stadium, and into a seat in the middle of one of the rows. Adam sat down beside him, and soon someone else had taken the seat on his other side. He was boxed in now, and his bladder felt like it was trying to kick and punch its way out of the prison he now found himself in. He whimpered in the back of his throat, crossing his legs at the ankles. 

Adam swallowed the last of his pretzel and gave Alex a concerned look. He’d known all the bright lights and crowds were going to make Alex a little tetchy, but he looked downright miserable in his discomfort. He was visibly shaking all over, vibrating with anxiety. Adam patted his hand, a reminder that he was there and Alex was safe. This was just something new, and Alex had always eased himself into new things eventually. 

Alex felt a little comforted by Adam’s soft touch, but the comfort fizzled away when he imagined how disgusted Adam would be if he had an accident all over his seat. Adam wouldn’t want to touch him at all then… Alex scissored his legs, bounced his knees up and down. He thought he could remember the way to that restroom from here, but all the aisles and rows looked identical! He’d get turned around and never find Adam again. 

‘Just stick right next to me the whole time, and you’ll be okay.’ Adam had said, and Alex had intended to do exactly that. Just… He didn’t want to make Adam miss the start of the show, and he really, really couldn’t hold it much more! He pulled his hand out from underneath Adam’s, then squeezed Adam’s hand so hard it started to turn red. 

Adam winced, not so much from the pain— Though, Alex was pretty strong— but from the knowledge he’d brought him somewhere that was obviously too stressful for him. Maybe he should have brought him to a smaller concert before this one, something outdoors and with fewer people… This was too much all at once. He frowned, he’d really wanted to see this band perform, but… “Alex…?” he whispered lowly. “Is this too much for you? Are you feeling freaked out?”

Alex shook his head, continuing to bounce in his seat. He wasn’t freaked out, he was just bursting! 

“Are you sure?” Adam asked. “We can leave if you’re uncomfortable.” 

Well. He definitely WAS uncomfortable. But, how could he make Adam skip seeing one of his favorite bands live just because he needed to pee? “It’s okay,” he insisted. “I’m okay…” 

“If you’re sure…” Adam said. “Just, keep holding my hand, try to feel better.” 

A couple minutes later, the performance began. The loud music was enough to shake the floors a little, the vibration pummeling Alex’s poor bladder like it was the pawn in a game of Whack-A-Mole. He was whimpering, quivering and twitching, and felt little, tiny droplets of urine forcing their ways out of him. He was losing it, he was gonna have an accident!

He couldn’t remember ever needing to go this bad! And, he’d been desperate lots of times before. When he lived in the old place, the line for the toilet each morning would be massive, all of his siblings always managing to beat him there. When he was younger, sometimes this had even led to accidents when his bladder just hadn’t been able to hold it together for long enough.

But, the desperation he’d felt all those mornings completely paled in comparison to now. 

Up until now, his worst experience with desperation had been when he’d been severely punished by his Papa for sneaking out to see Adam after they’d been forbidden to have contact with one another. Alex had been locked into his room all night, every night. And, one of those nights, he hadn’t been able to pee before the lock had been put into place. He’d tried desperately to find something—Anything!!— he could empty his bladder into, but could find nothing; His Papa had stripped his room of everything except for his bed, one pillow, one blanket and his Bible. None of which made good emergency toilets, and one of which would probably result in him going to Hell if he even tried. 

That night, he’d actually ended up praying for God to send him a miracle. God had answered Alex’s prayers in the past, had shown him the way, had even led him to Adam… And, again, God came through for Alex that night; Because, as soon as he’d finished praying, he saw that Papa had missed something under the bed; a towel. And, by bunching that up underneath himself and adjusting it whenever one patch got too sodden, he was able to fully relieve his aching bladder. 

Remembering the relief from that night made Alex wish he had a towel with him here and now. He wouldn’t expose himself in a stadium full of people, obviously. But, at least if he had a towel to sit on, the mess from his inevitable accident wouldn’t be as bad. 

He continued to squirm and fidget, kicking his legs out in front of himself and crossing them, tightening his hold on Adam’s hand, and just hoping for everything to be over soon so he could go. 

It did end eventually, and Alex scrambled to his feet, losing a short stream in the process. He jumped from foot to foot as he waited for the other people in the row to make it out onto the stairs so he could rush for the toilets. 

“Did you like the music, at least?” Adam asked with concern. Alex still didn’t look very good. He was so pale, and hadn’t stopped shaking at all. Throughout the concert, Adam had bit back a moan several times as Alex seemed bound and determined to just snap his hand clean off. 

Alex hadn’t even really heard any of the music. All he’d been able to hear were the shrieks coming from his bladder, the screams of ‘PEE NOW!’ He nodded slightly at Adam anyway. 

“Th—That’s good,” Adam said. “We’ll be outside soon, I’ll take you to that restaurant, it’s gonna be much quieter there, you’ll feel better.” 

“C—Can we do something here first?” Alex asked as they inched forward up the stairs. 

Adam was surprised. “You… Want a t-shirt or something? The lines might be long since it just ended, can you handle tha—“ 

“I need to pee,” Alex interrupted. “Please, Adam? I’ve had to go since before we got here.” 

Adam took a moment to readjust to his new perspective. Alex wasn’t trembling because the crowds scared him. He was just trembling because his bladder was really full. “Oh… Why didn’t you say anything?” 

“First, I didn’t know if there was even anywhere to go here,” Alex said. “Then, I didn’t want you to miss the start of the show having to take me so I wouldn’t get lost.” 

“I… I wouldn’t have been upset,” Adam said as they finally left the main area and were back in the hall. “Oh, Alex… you should have told me! You didn’t need to hold it through that whole thing!” 

Alex was dancing all over the place now, his legs were in constant motion, making it appear almost like he was jogging. His hands were between his legs, squeezing the tip of his prosthetic; Again, the action helped ease his agony even as the logical part of his mind told him that it shouldn’t. 

Adam was staring; He’d never seen Alex in such obvious distress before. He took Alex’s hand and led him as carefully as he could through the crowd and to the… Massive line sprawling out of the nearest men’s room. Alex moaned at the sight, his legs trembling madly beneath him. 

“Yeah, you’re probably not gonna make it through this,” Adam said. “But, that’s okay.” 

“I don’t want to have an accide—“ 

“You won’t,” Adam cut him off. He again began leading Alex away. Alex whimpered as he was now being taken in the opposite direction of the restroom he needed. 

“Adam, stop!” Alex pleaded. “I need to go!” 

“You’re gonna go,” Adam said. He took Alex outside of the stadium, and walked him down the street a little. Alex whimpered and fidgeted the whole way, and Adam tried not to pay attention to the hissing sound of liquid coming from Alex’s midsection. Adam stopped at the entrance to an alleyway. “Go,” he said. 

Alex looked around confused. There was nowhere for him TO go! “Where?” 

“I know you’ve peed outside before,” Adam said. 

“In the woods,” Alex said, pacing around on twisted up legs. “Aren’t the rules different here?” 

‘Not if you don’t get caught,’ Adam thought, but had a feeling Alex wouldn’t exactly agree with that. “No,” Adam said. “You can pee on a wall when you really need to go. That’s allowed.” 

Alex still looked unsure. 

“Hey, I’ll go with you,” Adam offered. “Would that help you feel more comfortable?” 

“I guess..” Alex winced out. Without even fully realizing it, his hand had already connected with his zipper. 

“Okay,” Adam said. He went deeper into the alley and unzipped, pulling the head of his STP out. He held back his flow, however. If he let out a stream while Alex was in earshot, his partner would explode for sure. “Ready when you are!” 

Alex scurried down the alleyway until he was shoulder to shoulder with Adam— Admittedly a little closer than Adam liked to be to another person while urinating, but if it helped Alex, he’d put up with it. 

Alex loudly yanked his zip down and positioned his prosthetic, a clear jet of liquid slamming against the lower part of the wall not but two seconds later. It took a moment for it to register to Alex that he was finally peeing, and for a second he didn’t even feel the relief. He’d been so full that it wasn’t until a bit had drained out that he began to feel the pleasurable sensations of release. “Mmmm…” he hummed softly through his nostrils. 

Adam let his own stream go. It wasn’t nearly as powerful as Alex’s was. He’d needed to go a bit after such a long drive and show, but his own urge had been nowhere near the emergency Alex’s had been. His liquid lightly pattered against the wall, darkening the material. 

When Adam’s bladder had let out all it had to give and he’d zipped himself back up, Alex was still pouring away. Adam winced at that, realizing just how desperate his poor boyfriend must have been for all that time. Alex gave one final push and the last of his urine trickled against the now thoroughly drenched wall. He shook out his prosthetic and zipped up, trying to catch his breath. 

Adam rubbed his boyfriend’s back, feeling the tension still present there. “Better?” he asked. 

“Better,” Alex nodded a little shakily. “You’re sure that wasn’t against the rules?” 

“Positive,” Adam said, though in the back of his mind he hoped this wouldn’t cause Alex to make a habit out of peeing in alleyways.

Link to comment

Alex’s knees rubbed against one another as he miserably sat on the bus. He’d been needing the restroom for at least two hours now, and the fact that he was seated in the very back of the bus where he was forced to feel the full brunt of every bump in the road, didn’t help. 

He and Adam were on their way to the state fair. It would be Alex’s first time attending, and he’d had no idea it was taking place so far away. If he’d known he was going to be on the bus for this long, then he wouldn’t have agreed with Adam to take it instead of having Adam drive them. If he was in the car with Adam, Alex could have asked him to please, please, PLEASE pull over somewhere ages ago. He didn’t know if he could ask the bus driver to do the same… And he couldn’t even find out; Adam was asleep, so Alex couldn’t check with him. And Adam was asleep against Alex’s shoulder, so Alex couldn’t just get up and go to the front of the bus to find out for himself. 

Each time the bus stopped to drop people off or let them on, Alex wished he could bolt through the doors and find the closest restroom. But, the bus would only stay parked there for a minute or two, and Alex knew he wouldn’t be able to find a toilet, unload his bladder, and rush back before the bus left. Then he’d be stranded without Adam in an unfamiliar area. The thought sent shivers up his spine. 

He just… He wished he and Adam were in THEIR car, the one that would stop and stay put until Alex was finished peeing! But, Adam had insisted taking the bus would be better for the environment, and Alex knew how much Adam cared about that sort of thing, so he just HAD to agree with him. He’d only been thinking about how Adam was worried about climate change, he should have been thinking more about his bladder! 

Had he even remembered to go before they’d left home? He knew he went right after he’d woken up, but couldn’t remember going at any point after that… Not that it mattered, whether he’d emptied his bladder two seconds before he'd walked out the door or not, that didn’t change the fact that it was absolutely filled to the brim now. 

He shimmied his hips as much as he could, wary of waking Adam up. He wished he could squirm for real. He wished he could twist around and cross his legs and bounce up and down in his seat and do whatever it took to make his need feel a little less critical. But, he couldn’t He didn’t want to bother Adam. He felt like such a burden on him all the time, Adam always had to explain so many basic things to him, he didn’t want to end up costing him sleep too! 

So Alex just sat there, fighting to stay still as he restrained the need that was ferociously panging through his body. He kept staring out the window, every time they passed a building that he was sure contained a restroom he could use, he needed to clench his thighs tighter as his bladder refused to get the memo that he wasn’t going to be entering it. 

After a while, Adam’s eyes began to crack open. He sat up straighter and yawned. “How long was I asleep for?” 

“I—I don’t know…” Alex whimpered. Time had become little more than an illusion to him. It felt like he’d been stuck on this bus, enduring the awful strain in his midsection, for over five centuries. 

Adam peered out the window, “Ah. Well, it looks like we’re nearly th— Are you alright?” 

“Can I ask the driver to pull-over?” Alex pleaded, voice filled with hope. “I need the restroom…” 

Adam frowned, “No… The driver can’t stop when he’s not supposed to, he has to stick to a schedule…” Adam’s heart twisted at the panic that swept over Alex’s face. It only lasted a brief second, but it said a million words about how he was feeling. “But, we’re really, really close to the fair. I promise. You’ll be able to go very soon!” 

Alex gave a shaky nod, doubling over on himself with his hands between his legs. His eyes were big and watery. He inhaled sharply and scrunched up his face, and a moment later Adam saw a small dark spot forming on Alex’s shorts. Adam looked out the window again. “It should be about half an hour, okay? Can you make it that long?” 

Alex shuddered and shook, feeling more of his liquid dribbling outwards, unable to restrain it. “I— I don’t think I can!” He felt tears building in the corners of his eyes. “Will I be in trouble if I go on the seat? I’ll— I’ll try and pay them for it somehow, I just— I can’t hold it, and—“ 

Adam plucked his bag from between his feet, hoping against hope that there was a bottle inside of it, or some kind of receptacle Alex could let flow into. He’d have to give Alex a few pointers on how to relieve himself into a bottle with his prosthetic, and learning how to do that while having a full-blown emergency wasn’t gonna be easy, but even if he messed up it would still be better than a total accident. 

There WAS a bottle, but it was tiny. It wouldn’t fit much, and Adam debated whether having Alex let out a bit of his burden before having to cut his flow off midstream would be more helpful or more hurtful. “Alex,” Adam started. “I have an empty bottle, I don’t think it will hold very much, but if you wanted to get SOME of it out—“ 

“I can’t do that!” Alex squeaked, horrified. “Th—There’s people! I’ll get in lots of trouble!” Even as he protested the idea, his bladder continued to spurt its contents into the fabric of his shorts. 

“We’re the only ones back here,” Adam said quietly. “Everyone else is way up front… I’ll let you cover up with my sweater, and if you go slowly enough it shouldn’t make as much noise. Hopefully nobody’ll notice what you’re doing. But, like I said, you’ll only be able to go a little, you’ll have to stop before you’re done. Do you think you can do that?” 

Alex really, really wanted to let some out. Technically, he already WAS letting some out since he couldn’t get his leaks and dribbles to cease, but still. If he could actually just let his muscles relax for a few seconds, that would feel so ridiculously good. “O—Okay…” 

Adam began taking off his sweater as he thought through how to get this done. Even if STPs were wonderful things, they weren’t capable of defying gravity. Alex couldn’t aim it into the bottle and let flow from a seated position. He was gonna need to get up onto his knees a little, spread them apart, position the prosthetic and bottle, then let it out. Hopefully he could do all that without having an accident. When the bus stopped at a red light, Adam talked Alex through the motions, wincing as Alex bit down hard on his lip while trying to assume the proper position. “Adam, I have to go so bad…” he whimpered. 

“I know, I know,” Adam said. “Are your legs far enough apart?” 

“Yes.” 

Adam handed Alex the bottle, and awkwardly held his jacket up around Alex’s waist as he heard a zipper frantically being yanked downward. Adam sighed. Who was he kidding? Anyone who looked back here would know that they were doing SOMETHING out of the ordinary… He just hoped Alex was too far gone to realize that himself. 

For a few seconds after Adam had heard Alex unzipping, he didn’t hear anything else. Alex whimpered slightly in the back of his throat. “Now I can’t go,” he whispered, sounding panicked. “Why can’t I go?” 

“You’re… You’re nervous,” Adam said. “Just try and—“ 

The bus started moving again, jostling Alex pretty badly considering that his current position was not ideal for riding in a moving vehicle. The jolt slammed into his bladder like a fifty pound weight, but even that wasn’t enough to get his flow going. Perhaps that was fortunate, however, since it no doubt would have caused a mess if he’d let go in that instant. 

Alex let out a frustrated sigh that quickly transfigured itself into a pained moan. “I can’t do it,” he whimpered out. 

“That’s… That’s okay,” Adam said. We’re almost there. We’re really close. I promise.” 

Alex tucked his prosthetic back into his boxers and gripped hold of his zip, his bladder spasmed as he yanked his zipper back up tooth by tooth. His shorts dug into the swollen bump in his core, his hips shimmying and his toes tapping as he handed the still-empty bottle back to Adam and sat down properly once more. 

“It’s okay,” Adam repeated. “We’ll be there very soo—“ 

“Can I just not pee anymore?” Alex asked in a panicked, breathless voice. “I don’t understand, why couldn’t I—“ 

“No, you can still go,” Adam said. “Sometimes when you’re tense, it doesn’t come out even if you really want it to. It happens. That was an unusual position to try and pee in, your body probably didn’t understand what it was supposed to do. That’s all.” 

“This would be so much easier if I was just a normal guy!” Alex sighed. “If I was, then I wouldn’t have to get into such a weird, tense position to go in the bottle, I could just do it, and I would have been able to relax, and—“ 

“Hey,” Adam said. He stroked Alex’s shoulder. “You ARE a normal guy. You just… You ‘froze up’. And you know what? Cisgender men also ‘freeze up’ sometimes. There are lots of cis men that would feel uncomfortable trying to take a leak on a bus when there are strangers a few rows ahead of them, and they wouldn’t be able to get it to come out either. You’re normal, you’re okay.” 

“Th—Thanks,” Alex gritted out. “I’m… I’m not okay, though. I can’t hold— Oooh!— I can’t hold it!” 

Adam patted Alex’s shoulder, he didn’t want to agree with the poor thing, but it certainly LOOKED like he was correct. Alex was in constant motion, all tied up in knots. “It’s okay…” Adam said soothingly. 

But, Alex couldn’t be soothed. Every time he stayed in the same position for longer than one second, he felt urine beginning to push against his throbbing urethra, trying to slam its way right out of the prison of his bladder. He crossed his legs, he fanned them in and out, he bounced them up and down as fast as he could. None of it took the edge off his desperation even the tiniest bit! He just… He just had to PEE so bad! He felt like he wanted to crawl out of his skin. He wanted to stand up so he could bend around more, but if he could stand that would mean they’d finally arrived. And if they’d finally arrived, that would mean he could rush for the nearest restroom, unzip his shorts and just let it all loose. And if he could finally let it all loose, that would mean that he could finally stop holding it, could finally be free from the agony and— 

He ordered himself to stop. Thinking about how amazing peeing would feel only made him need to do it worse— He was shocked that he COULD need to do it any worse, but as a horrific throb pulsed through his entire lower half, he realized that he could. ‘Think of something else!’ He told himself. He tried to mentally recite every Bible verse he’d ever memorized, but then he started thinking about The Genesis Flood, and hoped Noah had had plenty of places to pee on the boat otherwise listening to all that rain for so long must have been agonizing… 

That… Was probably NOT the sort of thought he should ever HAVE about a Biblical figure, but he couldn’t stop himself. And now that he’d thought about it, he couldn’t stop thinking about the sound of rain, gushing, pouring, splashing… He imagined HIMSELF gushing away, inhaling and exhaling as his urine was finally allowed to work its way out, pouring away and splashing even louder than the most brutal rainstorm ever could! 

‘Stop it!’ Alex scrunched up his face and squeezed his eyes shut. ‘You can hold it. You can hold it. Just wait. PLEASE just wai— OHHH, I HAVE TO GO!! IT HURTS!’ He couldn’t take it any more. He had never needed to pee this badly before. He couldn’t take it. He just couldn’t. Too much pressure. Too much liquid. Too much. Just… Too much. He was certain he was gonna lose it. He squirmed and tightened himself up so much that he was totally out of his seat. 

A surge of pressure tackled him so hard it almost knocked him off his feet. “Ohhh, please….” he whimpered, not even realizing he was speaking aloud. “I have to goooooo!” His muscles were tiring out, losing the ability to function. He HAD to let them take a break— Just for a second! Just one second would feel glorious! 

He couldn’t keep it together. He just couldn’t. First, it had been uncomfortable, then urgent, then painful, then it had felt like he was going to have an accident, and now… He didn’t even know what to call what he was feeling now. His heart was beating like a wild drummer, it was actually enough to make his chest hurt! He had never felt desperation like this before, he was panicking and out of control. He was going to die if he didn’t go. 

He was rocking back and forth, his hands pressed his thighs tight together, his feet tapping. ‘I have to go… I have to go… I have to go… I can’t wait. I can’t do it. I have to go right now. I have to find a urinal. Please, I just need a urinal so bad!’ He whimpered out loud, a sharp, panicked noise as he sucked in his cheeks, feeling some of his leakage beginning to go down his legs. 

Adam’s eyes were fixed on the window, just as desperate as Alex was for the ride to be over with. He exhaled when they passed a sign pointing toward the fair. “Alex, we’re here!” he said. “You’ll be able to go in a couple minutes— Just a couple more minutes, can you do that?” 

Alex’s hands fidgeted between his thighs, “I’m trying…” 

The bus soon came to a stop and the people ahead of them started to exit. Sitting in the back of the bus HAD given them ample privacy for Alex to attempt to make use of the empty bottle, but now it only meant they had to wait for everyone else to depart before they could leave. “Just a few more minutes,” Adam repeated, but Alex’s body didn’t believe his words and for a second Alex couldn’t do anything aside from swaying back and forth on his tightly crossed legs, doubled over in agony. 

“Hurry…” Alex mumbled under his breath. “Hurry. Hurry. Please hurry up…” His abdomen was totally distended and felt like it was made of concrete. He was going to pee on himself. He knew he was. He couldn’t make it. Any second now, his leaks and dribbles would turn into a stream and he’d flood his shorts and the floor below his feet. He was straining with all his strength, but the pee was relentless in its efforts to shove its way down and out. 

Adam took him into the aisle a moment later, and the people ahead of them were too slow! Now that he was more visible to others, Alex was trying so hard not to contort himself too ridiculously, but he couldn’t control it, his body acted of its own accord now as it fought against the odds to keep his urine where it belonged. ‘HURRY!’ he thought desperately. ‘PLEASE. I’m going to have an accident if you don’t! Hurry, hurry, hurry!’

Step by agonized, throbbing step, Alex exited the bus, Adam right after him. Adam opened his mouth, “Oka—“ 

“Adam, where can I go!?” Alex cried out instantly. The pressure was everywhere now, in every last corner of his bloated, waterlogged body. 

“There are portable toilets in the fair, we’d have to get tickets fi—“ 

Alex noticed the line for the tickets, “N—No, I can’t! I’m— I’m already going, I can’t stop it!” 

Adam pretended like he hadn’t noticed his partner’s leakage. “Okay, okay, don’t panic.” He spun around and around. It was daylight, the parking lot they were in was barren… If Alex went somewhere here, he’d have an audience and a lot of explaining to do. 

But, across the street was a restaurant. “Let’s eat before we go to the fair,” Adam said, pointing towards it. 

“I need—“ 

“I know what you need, you’ll be able to go there, it’s just a short walk, you can do this,” Adam promised. 

Alex followed Adam across the street, every one of his steps was slow and clumsy and hurt so, so bad. He thought of the stories of Hell that had frightened him throughout his life, and felt certain that THIS was something every sinner must have felt for all eternity as they suffered in that awful place. If his theory was true, then he feared Hell more than ever before. His holding muscles felt as if they really were being bathed in Hellfire from restraining so much pee for so long. He tried to hurry, his body begging for relief louder and louder with every second. 

As fast as he dared to move, he made it to the other side of the street. He was close. So close. So very, very close. Encouraged, Alex picked up his pace until they were at the door. Adam pushed it open, both of Alex’s hands immobilized between his thighs. A hostess began to greet them, then stared at Alex, “Our restrooms are only for custo—“ 

“We’re going to eat here,” Adam interrupted, putting an arm across Alex’s back. He felt very protective of his poor, full boyfriend, and hoped that this reminder of how truly blatant his desperation was hadn’t embarrassed him too much. 

“Alright,” the hostess said. She led them into the dining room, but before they’d been shown to a table, Alex saw the precious, blessed sign depicting a blue stickman tucked away in one corner of the restaurant, and just took off towards it before he’d even consciously thought about it. He just put one foot in front of the other, unable to think of anything else. It felt like he was walking for miles and miles. He looked up, only a few feet from the door, only a few feet from sweet, sweet, glorious relief… His bladder squeezed downward and a pulse of urine shot into his boxers as he shoved the door open. 

There were a few other guys in the room, something that always made Alex nervous. Adam had told him about a time when something really scary had happened to him in a public restroom; Early on in his transition, when people didn’t always read him as male, there had been a few that didn’t approve of him and thought they could teach him a lesson with their fists. Adam hadn’t told Alex that to scare him, just to make him aware that sometimes, places weren’t safe. This was why normally when Alex had to go in public, Adam came with him, so that if the place wasn’t safe, Adam could try and MAKE it safe. 

But, this time Alex had just been so desperate he hadn’t waited for Adam, and now, even with as full as his bladder was, even with as intense as his need was, he felt frightened. Surely, if anyone was questioning if he was a guy, they’d stop doing so when he unzipped himself at the urinal, ri— 

The door opened, and there was Adam. Alex’s momentary fear flooded from him, and immediately afterward he received a harsh reminder that something ELSE needed to flood from him as well. Adam put a hand to his back, and Alex found himself again enough to dash for the urinals. He was unzipping before he was anywhere near close enough, but that meant that the instant he was stood before it, his STP was out and right where it needed to be. 

And then he just… Relaxed. 

PSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

The floodgates slammed wide open and urine gushed out of his body, splashing into the urinal as he grit his teeth together to keep from letting out a moan that would have been just way too perverse for his liking. This felt… This… There were no words to adequately describe how this felt. It felt like he was being blessed. It felt like he was being slathered in warm goodness from head to toe. It was just… It was just a such a relief. Even if he was fighting not to moan, he couldn’t stop the heavy exhale of air through his nose, a loud and satisfied sigh. 

Adam had never been comfortable using public restrooms that weren’t meant for a single user ever since the incident where he’d been hurt. He only did it if it was an emergency and he had no other option. Since he’d started accompanying Alex, however, sometimes the sound of Alex’s release would just… Really get to his own bladder and he’d have no choice but to join him. 

With as much as Alex was spraying that urinal, this was definitely one of those times. Adam took one of the other urinals and unzipped to let out his own stream. After he’d been going for a few seconds, the sensation of relief washing over him, he realized that he’d gotten pretty full on the bus ride as well. He’d just been so focused on Alex’s needs that he’d failed to notice his own. 

By the time they’d both finished— Alex doing so with one of the most intense pee-shivers Adam had ever seen a person have, the room was emptied and they both felt a little safer. In addition to safer, Alex now felt thirty pounds lighter. “Phew…” he sighed as he zipped up. 

“Better now?” Adam asked, zipping his own shorts. 

Alex nodded, blinking a bit dazedly. “Can’t believe I—“ he stopped abruptly as he began to walk towards the sinks, the damp, clammy feelings of the wet patches on his shorts registering to him. He felt himself turning red. “I didn’t— I didn’t make it completely,” he said. “I… A lot came out before I could—“ 

“It’s okay,” Adam said. “Don’t be emb—“ 

Alex looked down now, inspecting the damage. It didn’t help that his shorts were grey, all the wet spots showed up really well. “Adam, I can’t go to the fair like this. Everyone will see and know that I— That I didn’t totally make it…” 

Adam thought for a moment. Then he turned on one of the sinks. “Uh-oh,” he said. “They should get someone to fix the sinks here! They spray a lot!” 

“But, Adam, it’s not—“ 

Adam reached his hand under the faucet, then flung it back to splash Alex. “Yes, it is! See?” He splashed Alex a few more times, his shorts got wetter, and so did his shirt. Soon, he had wet patches going up all the way to his neck. 

“Adam!” Alex whined. “What was—“ 

“Nobody is going to think you’re wet because you couldn’t hold it now,” Adam said. “Not when you’re wet all over.” 

Alex thought that over, “I… I guess people don’t usually have wet shirt collars when they pee themselves…” 

“Exactly, no one will be able to tell that it’s not ALL water,” Adam said. 

“Th—Thank you,” Alex said. “I’m really sorry that you always have to take care of me and stuff.” 

“Alex…” Adam said. “I’m supposed to take care of you, I love you. It’s my job… We take care of each other.” 

“But, I’m always messing stuff up, and getting confused, and now I can’t even make it to the toilet in time…” 

“You don’t always have to do things perfectly the first time,” Adam said. “And, it makes sense that things confuse you. The… The way you grew up, it just didn’t prepare you for the world, and that’s not your fault. And… Everyone’s had accidents, it’s normal.” 

“But, I’m an adult,” Alex said. “I’m too old to—“ 

Adam held up a hand, “Can you keep a secret for me?” 

“You’re the only person I’d tell a secret to,” Alex pointed out. 

“I guess that’s true…” Adam said. “I had an accident not too long ago. That day you were out with your Mom and your little siblings? You accidentally took both the keys to the apartment. I got home, just DYING to go, and I couldn’t get in. I tried to hold it, but I couldn’t. So, I was gonna try and go in the bushes out front instead, but I was scared to do that out in the open in case one of our neighbors walked by before I’d finished. And I ended up taking too long trying to decide if I should do it, then my body just… Decided for me. I went right where I was standing, and I couldn’t stop it.” 

Alex thought about this. “Wait… Is that why you were soaked from head to toe when my Mom dropped me off?” he asked. “You said you tried to water the bushes and something went wrong with the hose!” 

“…Yeah, after I was… Done. I went and soaked myself with the hose to try and cover it up. And, I mean, I only sorta lied. I WAS trying to ‘water’ the bushes, and something DID go wrong…” 

“Heh… That’s how you thought of the thing with the sink just now, isn’t it?” 

“Yeah. Drenching myself worked on you, so drenching you should work on other people.” 

“Thank you, Adam… I do feel better now.”

Link to comment

Alex and Adam enjoyed their lunch. Their waiter seemed to be confused as to why Alex was so wet, but didn’t comment and likely didn’t assume any of it was pee. Alex was much calmer as they ate now that his bladder wasn’t an aching ball of misery. Once they had paid and were about to leave, Adam looked at Alex and said; “You should go one more time before we leave here, okay?” 

Alex paused. He… sort of needed to go again. It wasn’t bad, though. And he was frightened to go into a public restroom again if it wasn’t an emergency… “Why?” 

“You just… When you hold it too much like you did earlier, you get a little sore,” Adam said. “Have you ever noticed that?” 

Alex thought it over. He supposed that after the night where he’d needed to resort to soaking one of his towels, he had been more eager for his morning pee than he usually was once he’d woken up. “Yeah.”

“I’ll go with you,” Adam said. “I don’t want to have to pee at the fair, either…” 

As Alex walked after Adam, he felt anxiety creeping up in his chest. “How come? Is that where…” he lowered his voice. “Is that where those people hurt you?” 

“No,” Adam said. “Nothing THAT bad. It’s just— Well, if you DO end up needing to go while we’re at the fair, you’re gonna be really grateful that you can pee standing up now.” 

Alex felt a little better once Adam had told him the fair had not been the location of his assault, but if that was the case he didn’t understand why Adam would be worried about having to relieve himself there. He’d said Alex would be thankful for having an STP if he needed to pee at the fair, so did that mean there were only urinals there? That would be pretty discriminatory… Alex had been learning a lot about discrimination and about how sometimes things were unfair for no real reason from Adam; Maybe this was just one more of those things. 

Alex was relieved the restroom was empty once he’d pushed the door open. Without even a hint of nervousness he got himself in front of a urinal and unzipped, letting it flow a couple seconds later. As his stream struck the porcelain, he felt a little bit of tenderness in his middle. His bladder really WAS tired out after all that desperation earlier… 

Adam peed alongside him, and once he was done, Alex noticed he stood there for a few extra seconds, like he was trying to make extra certain there was nothing left in him. When he shook his prosthetic out and zipped up, he asked Alex; “You’re sure you’re empty?” 

“Yeah…” Alex said. 

“That’s good. Just trust me. You really, really don’t wanna have to go at the fair if you can help it. And I don’t think the restaurant will let us keep coming back here to use their toilet.” 

“Okay,” Alex said, still confused. 

Once they were at last exploring the fair, Alex finally solved the mystery that had been puzzling him. The toilet facilities at the fair were absolutely filthy. They were like the outhouses Alex had read about in books about the pioneers. Except, these were blue and made of plastic instead of wood. “I thought those didn’t exist anymore,” Alex said. 

“Hm?” Adam asked. 

“Well, except on like, really old farms and stuff…” Alex added. “Didn’t we get indoor plumbing so we don’t need those anymore?” 

“Oh…” Adam said. “Well, yeah. You’re not gonna find a regular old outhouse in many places anymore, but since everything set up here is temporary, they aren’t gonna build flush toilets here.” 

“So then, do you like them?” Alex asked. Adam had mentioned a few times that it was a waste of water to flush a toilet if all you’d used it for was to pee, but Alex always forgot and just did it anyway out of habit. One night, Alex hadn’t been thinking and had accidentally peed in the tub when they’d been showering together. Before Alex could even finish apologizing Adam interrupted to tell him that it was actually good to pee in the shower. That was one less flush, so it was better for the environment. “Those use less water, right?” 

Adam gave him a strange look; “No human being who has ever lived likes portable toilets,” he stated. “I guess they DO use less water, but they’re just… Not sanitary. And I have bad memories of them. And they’re cleaned with formaldehyde, which isn’t good for the environment at all. When it breaks down it can create formic acid and carbon dioxide, and—“ 

Alex tuned Adam out after a minute. Adam could go on long rants about subjects like that. But, he sometimes didn’t realize that Alex didn’t really understand half the words that came out of his mouth when he did it. He got the general gist of it; The portable toilets were gross and the stuff you cleaned them out with was bad. Alex agreed wholeheartedly with the first point, and if Adam was right about the second, then Alex would agree there as well. 

He also understood now why Adam had said he’d be grateful for his ability to urinate without having to sit down. The less skin contact he had with any part of those toilets, the better. But, in the time he’d been learning to use his STP, he’d learned a great deal about ‘splashback’, and that was something he’d prefer to avoid when the stuff splashing back at him would be so vile… 

He took inventory of how much he’d had to drink with lunch; Only one glass of water. That was good. Even with his bladder all sore and worn out, he shouldn’t feel full enough that he absolutely NEEDED to relieve himself for quite a while. But, then he remembered that Adam had downed four glasses of lemonade because the meal he’d gotten had been too spicy for him… 

Alex could tell that his boyfriend would probably rather stub every last one of his toes than use a portable toilet, but with how much he’d had to drink, it was likely he’d NEED to do it. Unless… Water could come out of a person’s body in other ways; If Adam just sweated out all that liquid, then he wouldn’t need to go, right? 

And, it WAS hot today… Hopefully that was enough to keep Adam from needing to go while they were here. 

It wasn’t enough. Especially not when Alex wanted to ride the bumper cars, and after being jostled and knocked around for several minutes, Adam’s bladder was irritated enough that it seemed to be working overtime at filling itself up. 

Adam did a pretty good job of hiding how uncomfortable he was after the ride. And, after a few minutes of not being bumped to and fro, his bladder began to settle back down again and it felt much more manageable. 

Alex had figured out that if he got Adam to do some kind of physical activity, that could help get him to sweat out all the lemonade he’d drank before it even reached his bladder. When they started to pass by the carnival games, Alex thought fast. There was an enormous teddy bear set aside as a prize for a game where you had to knock down pyramids of milk jugs with baseballs. That was kinda physical, wasn’t it? “Adam, look at that huge bear,” he said. 

Adam turned and noticed it, as well as the game he’d need to win in order to get it. “Alex, carnival games are all scams,” he said. “It’s impossible to win that. They glue some of the bottles together so you can’t knock them over.” 

Alex didn’t really care about the bear, he just wanted Adam to sweat so much none of the lemonade could reach his bladder. He pouted. “Awww, Adam. Pleaaaase?” 

Adam sighed, envisioning the beaming smile on Alex’s face if he was able to carry that bear around. And, it would make a good bed for their pet rabbits. “Okay…” Adam said. As he paid the carny and received the baseballs, he rocked slightly on his feet. His urge was returning, and now took a more concentrated effort to fight down. No way was he gonna use one of the portable toilets with their toxic, environmentally destructive chemicals. He couldn’t encourage that. If he wasn’t part of the solution, then he was part of the problem. If the fair HAD to use temporary facilities, they should have set up compost toilets instead. They’d still be nasty after a day of use, but far better for the planet. 

Shifting his feet, Adam raised one of the baseballs and took aim. 

He missed. 

“You were close!” Alex encouraged. “Try it again!” 

Adam’s hands had momentarily clasped themselves in front of his body, his legs nervously turning inwards. “Right…” he said, squinting as he refocused on the targets. Jiggling a little, he threw the second ball. It smashed into the bottles, but only knocked the topmost three out. 

“That’s better!” Alex said. Adam did look a little sweaty now… Hopefully that meant this was working. 

Adam rocked back and forth even more, then forced himself to go still. His bladder was firing off a lot of really alarming warning bells. His middle was aching with needy fullness. He hoped that his twisting was seen more as him just trying to line up his shot, and not as the pee dance it was starting to become. He launched the final ball and took out the remaining bottles. He was shocked to see them all actually fall over as he’d been positive at least one of them had been glued down. 

Knocking down one tower was enough to earn a small prize, Alex picked out a stuffed iguana that he liked and then gave Adam a quick kiss on the cheek. 

Adam was surprised, normally Alex was too worried about the possible reactions of others to kiss him in public. Adam really enjoyed when Alex worked up the nerve to do it, though. And, as an added bonus, it proved to be a nice distraction from needing to pee super badly, so he let it happen, took in all the feelings. “Wanna go on more rides?” Alex asked. 

Adam nodded and followed after his partner. Each step proved itself a new obstacle, his bladder being knocked and bobbed around every time he moved. He was beginning to realize the full extent of his problem; If he was not going to pee in a portable toilet, where exactly WAS he going to pee? As he’d told Alex earlier, he doubted the restaurant would let him in to use their toilet unless he bought something again, and he couldn’t remember if anything else around here would have an available toilet for him. So… Where could he pee? He didn’t think he could hold it the rest of the day, especially not when he had to add on the whole bus ride back to their neighborhood… 

Suddenly, a hand gripped onto his and tugged him backwards harshly. The surprise and shock of it all caused his bladder to pound all the more violently in his core. 

Alex was pointing up at something. “Oooh,” he said. “A roller coaster. I’ve never seen one in real life before! And there’s no line!” 

Instead of waiting for Adam’s answer, Alex led him off towards the ride. “A—Are you sure?” Adam asked. The rollercoaster here was big, and a little rickety since it was taken down and then re-built at different fairs so many times. The first roller coaster Adam could recall going on was a little kids’ one with a single hill… He didn’t know if this was the best choice for Alex’s first roller coaster ride. It may be too scary for him… And even if it wasn’t, it was DEFINITELY too bumpy for Adam’s bladder.

The operator led them onto the ride, and Adam was shaking as he sat down. This was an awful idea. This was a really, really awful idea. He was gonna pee himself on this thing. But, before he could bolt up and run off (where exactly he’d run off TO he didn’t know), the safety bar was over their laps. 

Alex looked at him, “Oh… Do roller coasters scare you?” he asked. “I’m sorry, you should have said…” He took Adam’s hand and pulled him in close. “I’ll keep you safe!” 

The pulling made Adam wince and he squeezed his thighs together as his knees knocked. Roller coasters did not scare him. Pissing himself in public, however? Definitely did. Alex wouldn’t want to tug him in so close anymore then. 

The ride began and Adam pressed his legs inwards tightly while the car began to trail up the first hill. He screwed up his face and squeezed his eyes shut. 

“Are you okay?” Alex asked. 

Adam knew how nervous he must have looked. “Yeah…” 

“I didn’t know these scared you!” Alex reiterated, pulling him close once more, oblivious to how the squeezing was affecting his bladder. 

After the first hill, the ride sped up tremendously. In any other circumstance, Adam would have been enjoying it, but every sharp turn and sudden drop was felt with extreme intensity as the liquid inside him sloshed to and fro and desperately searched for a way out. 

Alex at least seemed to be enjoying himself, he didn’t look scared or sick, or like he wanted the ride to stop. So, that was good. 

Adam’s ankles were knotted together by the time the ride finally ended. Once the safety bar had popped up, Adam did as well. He stumbled away from the ride and bobbed in place as he tried to think of a way to relieve himself here. 

“Wow!” Alex said excitedly. “That was really fun! I see why people like that! Sorry it was scary for you, but I had so much fun, and— And, can we go again?” 

Adam swayed from foot to foot, “Maybe later?” 

“Okay… Okay— Oh, I’ve never been on a ferris wheel before, either!” Alex announced, and Adam winced as Alex yanked him off towards the ride. Alex was running way too fast for Adam’s liking. He couldn’t keep up with Alex’s pace and keep his legs tight enough together at the same time. He felt his first leak as they arrived at the ferris wheel. His hands twisted around near his waist, he wanted to hold himself (As weird as it was, gripping the prosthetic always helped him out when he was bursting.) But, he didn’t want to hold himself in public. There was just a constant, thrumming urgency in his center. He really, really had to go… 

They went up the steps to the ferris wheel and took a seat before a worker shut them in. The pressure in Adam’s bladder seemed to amplify when the door was shut and he realized he was stuck. Alex was right across from him and Adam had no idea how he could hide his urge from him now that they were face to face. He jiggled as subtly as he could. It was only when his feet started to throb that he realized how tightly crossed his legs had gotten. They got even tighter when the ride began to move. 

As they were lifted into the air, Adam was a squirmy, fidgety mess. His feet were tapping, he was bouncing, he dug his fingers into the tops of his thighs. The way the ride constantly rocked to and fro was doing him no favors. “Nnnnnhhh!” he exclaimed. 

“Adam?” Alex asked. “Are you okay?” 

Adam flinched. No use denying it now. He gave in and clutched himself. “I… I have to pee. Like, real bad.” 

Alex frowned. So, the hot sun hadn’t been enough to stave off Adam’s need after all. “Too much lemonade,” he commented. 

“Yeah,” Adam nodded. “Way too much…” 

Alex took his hand and gave it a squeeze, “Is it an emergency?” 

“It’s real, real bad,” Adam said, squeezing Alex’s hand back as hard as he could because he just HAD to squeeze onto something. 

“We’ll be down soon,” Alex said. “We’re at the top now, so it will be just a couple minutes. You can pee then.” 

“I’m not using one of the portables,” Adam said. 

“‘Cause they’re gross?” Alex asked. 

“Mostly because of the chemicals I told you about,” Adam said, straining not to double over as his bladder wailed for relief. 

Alex tried not to laugh, “You’re… You’re making this into one of your protests?” 

“If I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem.” 

“You really think you’re gonna save any trees by not peeing when you’re about to have an accident?” 

Adam lowered his voice, “Um… That and… All the toilets are back at the entrance and, um… I don’t think I can make it…” he admitted. 

“…Oh,” Alex said, realizing that Adam did seem to be in a REALLY bad state… “Um… We will think of something,” he said. “And the ride is almost done.” 

Adam tried to stop thinking about the possibility of the ride getting stuck while he continued to fidget in his seat. He wasn’t sure WHAT Alex would think of to save him, he didn’t think there was anything that could. “Oh, lemme distract you!” 

“I don’t think you can anymo—“ 

Alex placed his lips over Adam’s, an action that surprised Adam so much that a jet of piss shot into his boxers. His thighs squeezed even more as he tried to cut off the flow. After a moment though, the kiss was a great distraction as Adam felt heat rising up his body. He’d… Actually had to TEACH Alex how to kiss when they’d first started dating, but by now it was like he was a professional. The way he could move his tongue was just… There was nothing in the world better than that. 

Except, maybe peeing? Yeah. Maybe peeing would feel even better… 

Soon they were back on the ground without a puddle forming beneath Adam. Adam was off the ride the instant he was able to get up. “A—After I’ve gone,” he said to Alex. “I want you to do that again, okay?” 

Alex smiled. “Aw… I’d love to! Now… Let’s find you somewhere to go.” He glanced around for a few seconds, trying to think of some way for Adam to pee… Poor Adam was doing such a blatant, nonstop pee dance now that passersby were starting to look at him a bit. He didn’t even seem to care, focused only one keeping his clothes dry. 

“Oh!” Alex said suddenly. “I’ve never been on a log-flume before!” 

Adam stared at him for a second, wondering how he could have possibly forgotten about the emergency they still needed to resolve. “We can do that once I—“ 

“Come on!” 

Before Adam could say anything more, Alex had yanked him off towards yet another ride. “Alex, I can’t— I— Especially NOT a water ride, come on!” 

“It will help,” Alex insisted. 

Adam whimpered in the back of his throat, fighting to understand why the Hell Alex would try and bring him onto a freaking log flume when he was about to piss himself. “Alex, stop this. I can’t. I’ll have an accident.” 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “But, it’s gonna be like the hose, and the sink. You can go and nobody will be able to tell it’s not just water.” 

Adam stopped his protestations, decided that maybe that WAS a good plan after all… He just had to make it there… Which wasn’t easy when each step felt like a knife through his bladder, like a pin being poked into an overfilled water balloon. Despite the agony, however, he tried to move a little faster. 

When they reached it and had settled into one of the logs, it took every ounce of Adam’s strength not to let it flow right there before they’d even hit the water. He could hear the trickling water of the ride already, the sprinkler effects and cascading waterfalls… He realized he’d started to spurt already, and no matter how hard he tried it wouldn’t stop. ‘Oh, hurry…’ he silently begged the ride operator in his mind. He twisted in his seat as he tried to blot out the water that was now all around him. 

The ride finally started, and the log began to be propelled up a large hill. Once it made it over the top of it and plunged down into the pools below, Adam would be able to go. Just a few more seconds. Just a few more seconds. “Ohhh…. I have to peeeeee…” He whimpered out as he doubled over. 

“We’re almost in the water,” Alex said, reaching a hand out to stroke Adam’s back in front of him. 

“They’re gonna have to drain the ride after this,” Adam said. 

“They won’t have to clean it out,” Alex said. “Don’t feel bad, it’s just a little—“ 

“They’re gonna have to drain it, because I’m about to overflow it,” Adam corrected. 

At last, the log went over the top of the hill and began to drop down. The sudden downward plunge was too much for Adam’s bladder, and he was peeing before they’d hit the water. A few seconds later, though, it didn’t matter, the water went all the way up over their laps as the log continued on its track. Now that it was finally safe to let flow, Adam stopped fighting it and just allowed it to happen. He tried not to moan or sigh, knowing how obvious that would be, but just the look on his face was enough to make it clear how relieved he felt. 

The water the ride had submerged them in was cold, but it rapidly grew warmer and warmer as more and more pee flooded from Adam’s overburdened bladder. The pain flooded out along with it. This was better. This was just… So, so much better. He allowed his head to tip back as he continued letting it all loose. 

Alex laughed, “All better now?” 

“Yeah…” Adam panted. 

Alex smiled. Then realized that peeing on a log flume was ALSO something he’d never experienced before. He took a few seconds to relax himself enough, but soon he was helping the water ‘warm up’ a little as well. “Ahhh,” he sighed. 

Adam chuckled, “Heh, you going too?” 

“May as well…” Alex said. “Still pretty sore after earlier.” As they rounded a bend about half a minute later, Alex let Adam know he’d finished. 

Adam was a little alarmed then, he’d started peeing before Alex had, but he still didn’t feel close to done… He realized the ride would be coming to an end soon and he had to make sure his pee was finished before then. Nobody would be able to tell that it wasn’t just water soaking him through, unless of course there was still a trail of liquid gushing down his leg. THAT would be obvious. And, he definitely couldn’t cut off his stream now. His bladder was gonna keep draining until it at last had nothing left to give. He pushed down as hard as he could, trying to make sure his bladder would be empty by the time he had to get up. 

Once the log had made its way to the exit point, Adam still wasn’t empty. Even with as hard as he’d been pushing, there was still more that had to come out. Alex got up, but Adam stayed seated. “Alex… Ohhh, you know how my knee gets?” he asked, loud enough for the ride operator to hear.

Alex gave him a puzzled expression. 

“How it’s hard for me to stand up right away?” 

“Ohhhhh,” Alex’s expression melted into one of understanding. “Do your…” he thought for a moment. “Do your exercise to get it working right again…” 

Adam bounced his knee up and down a few times as he gave a final push and, at long last, felt his stream cease. “That’s better!” he said, and not just to convince the operator he’d only remained seated because of his knee. He got up and followed Alex through the exit as the operator hit the button to send the log forward to the starting point. 

Once they were out of the operator’s earshot, Adam gave a long overdue moan of relief, “Ahhhhh… Thank you,” he said. “Never would have thought of that.”

Link to comment

Trigger warnings for this chapter: Transphobia, assault, slurs.

***

Alex had never been to a mall. Before, the biggest store he’d ever been in had been Wal-Mart, and then he’d had to stay close to his siblings and parents, with strict orders not to speak or make eye contact with anyone else. Normally, he’d just keep his hand on the side of the cart, looking down at his feet and at the uncomfortable, long skirt. The kind he and his sisters had all been required to wear back then. 

In those days, he hadn’t understood why the skirt had made him feel so bad. He hadn’t understood why the idea that all the strangers he was surrounded by could see the skirt bothered him as much as it did. He hadn’t understood why the way the skirt made his hips look rounder made him want to somehow float away from his own body. 

He understood those things now. And now when he went shopping, he did so in clothes that felt comfortable, and he was allowed to look wherever he wanted. With this being his first time at the mall, there were lots of things he wanted to look at. All the window displays in the stores were so fascinating to him. He’d never seen so many different kinds of clothes before. He’d had no idea people dressed in such unique ways… 

That was kind of why they were here. Alex didn’t have very many clothes. Most of what he did have were things Adam was sharing with him. Alex had needed to get rid of basically all his old clothes. Pants had been forbidden in his old home and he definitely wasn’t comfortable continuing to wear any of those long skirts and dresses. He’d been able to keep a couple of his shirts that fit him okay, but other than that he was basically wearing whatever articles Adam had gotten tired of. 

And Alex definitely needed new shoes. He and Adam may have been close enough in height and build to be able to share shirts and pants, but their feet were completely different sizes. Adam’s feet were larger, and when Alex wore his shoes for too long, they caused blisters. Alex was still wearing the shoes he’d had from before, light purple slips that were undoubtedly made for women. They’d begun to look weirder and weirder on Alex as he continued to try to look more like himself.

“You don’t have to, like, find a style or anything today,” Adam said. “When I started getting guy clothes, I thought I had to pick a certain style and make it part of my identity or whatever. But, that’s hard to do when you’ve only been able to shop as a girl for so long. We’re just gonna find some stuff you’re more comfortable in today.” 

“I never shopped as a girl, either,” Alex admitted. “Father got all of our clothes for us. We didn’t pick.” 

“Oh…” Adam said. He fervently disliked Alex’s father, the man had been controlling to a grotesque degree “You do know what size you are for stuff, right? I mean, I know we’re about the same, but some of my stuff looks big on you…” 

Alex shrugged, “I don’t know. Father cut the tags and stuff off before he gave any of the clothes to us. But men’s sizes are different anyway, aren’t they?” 

“They are,” Adam said. “I’d just been planning to use this conversion chart thingy I have on my phone to make it easier to figure out. But, like I said, we’re about the same. You’re probably just one size smaller than me.” 

They spent some time helping Alex find pants and shirts that fit and that he felt comfortable in. After a while, they were both hungry enough to want to stop at the food court. “What is a food court?” Alex asked. “Is that where food goes to stand trial?” 

“No, it’s—“ Adam stopped himself and laughed. “You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah,” Alex grinned. 

Adam felt good. Alex had been doing that lately. Making a joke out of how little he knew about the world. Adam liked that, it meant his boyfriend was starting to feel less ashamed of his naivety and past isolation. It meant he was feeling more comfortable, and that was wonderful. 

Alex was still scared to order food for himself. In his old life, restaurants had been an incredibly rare treat, only visited once or twice a year. Alex seldom had it in him to actually speak with any of the waitstaff— None of his siblings did. They’d been told to distrust anyone who wasn’t part of their church, they had no way of knowing if the waitstaff were okay to talk to. So, normally, Alex’s dad had ordered for him— Usually something that Alex didn’t really like to eat. 

This still persisted, Alex still struggled with ordering his own food, and Adam did it for him. Except, Adam actually asked Alex what he wanted and then got it for him. So, when Alex said he wanted a corn dog, that’s what Adam ordered for him. 

Behind the counter, there was a big machine filled with blue stuff. “What’s that?” 

“Oh, that’s a slushy machine,” Adam said. 

“Slushy?” 

“Yeah, it’s like a frozen soda,” Adam explained. “You want to try one?” 

Alex hadn’t had much soda before, but what he had tried he’d liked. He’d probably like it frozen, too. “Okay!” 

Adam ordered a couple slushys and the two took a seat at one of the tables. Alex poked a straw into his slushy and curiously took a sip. 

Wow! He decided that he REALLY liked slushys! It was so sweet, and he loved how it felt as it melted on his tongue. He took a few more sips eagerly, and then— “Ouch!” Alex exclaimed, rubbing his head as a peculiar pressure built inside it. It felt like the migraine he sometimes got if he was super dehydrated… Then, just as quickly as it had arrived, it vanished. 

“Don’t drink it so fast,” Adam said. “Or else that happens.” 

“Why?” Alex asked. 

“I… Don’t actually know,” Adam admitted. “But, it’s called ‘brain freeze’.” 

“Aw, come on, Adam. You’re supposed to know everything!” Alex said. 

“Heh… You like the slushy though?” 

“I love it!” 

“That’s great!” 

Alex finished his corn dog and slushy, then asked Adam for a second drink. 

Adam handed over his own half-empty cup. He’d finished with the fries he’d gotten and wasn’t that thirsty. 

Alex eagerly polished off Adam’s slushy as well, trying to take slower sips so that it wouldn’t make his head hurt again. “Can I have another one?” he asked. 

“Alright,” Adam said. “One more, but we need to save the rest of our money to get you your shoes, okay?” 

“Okay,” Alex said. He was looking forward to getting new shoes. His old ones had become incredibly uncomfortable for several reasons. They were so clearly meant for women that people were always staring. They reminded him of some of the more unpleasant parts of his previous life. And, they were worn out and just pinched his feet terribly. 

So, they returned to shopping. They continued through the mall, visiting a seemingly endless stream of stores. But, as more time passed, those slushys made their way through Alex’s system, and soon enough he really had to find a place to let out a seemingly endless stream of his own. The urge first hit him while he was in a fitting room trying on some jeans. They ended up being slightly too small on him, and when he buttoned them, they pressed with enough vigor against his bladder that he’d needed to squeeze his thighs together. 

He tried to ignore it for a while, but after he’d realized he needed a restroom, he couldn’t get the feeling to turn back off. It was constantly there, nagging at him. Sending him little surges and throbs every so often to scold him for drinking so many slushys. 

And, as they’d continued on, the urge had only gotten worse and worse to where he was now, where his need had built into a tight, aching thrum in his center that he couldn’t stop thinking about. Each time they stopped and Adam asked if he wanted to check out a particular store, Alex would shift his weight from foot to foot, wishing they could just start walking again. 

The problem was that Alex had no clue where he could find a toilet here. He and Adam hadn’t passed any restrooms, or at least none that Alex had seen. He knew he should probably tell Adam that he had to go, but then he started worrying that all the toilets were at the other end of this huge building, and that was why he hadn’t seen any. If that were the case, then he’d be inconveniencing Adam if he said he couldn’t wait and that they had to go over there right now. 

And, it wasn’t like he couldn’t still wait. It wasn’t that bad. It was very uncomfortable, and he did really, really wish he could go, but he knew he could hold on a bit longer. 

He shuffled after Adam, squeezing his thighs together as he walked. As Adam continued to ask him questions about which stores he wanted to see, Alex did his best to answer normally. But, he knew he was probably acting weird. He shifted from side to side, trying to act like he was just getting restless, but those meager, little squirms did little to quell his need. 

They arrived at last at a store selling shoes. Adam gestured to the ones in the window display. “Do you like any of those?” he asked. 

Alex started to speak, to answer that he liked the white ones, but his bladder gave off a new throb that was much, much more insistent than any of the little, achy throbs he’d been experiencing up until then. He whimpered and crossed one leg over the other one, jiggling a tiny bit as his thighs pressed against one another. Once the sudden spasm passed and he no longer felt quite as close to exploding, he was able to answer. “Y-Yeah, the white ones are nice,” he said. He hoped Adam hadn’t noticed any of his bouncing… 

Adam had his back turned though, he too was looking at the shoes in the window. “Alright, let’s see if they have them in the right size for you,” he said. 

Alex limped after Adam into the store, hoping that this didn’t take too long, and that there actually was a restroom really, really close by that he just hadn’t noticed. Adam took Alex over to a bench and had him sit down. 

Sitting down compressed Alex’s bladder in a painful, agonizing way. The need to let it release was taking control of his entire body. His knees both bounced with urgency and his fingers curled against the bench. It was starting to become an emergency. 

Adam took off Alex’s uncomfortable, purple shoe and placed his foot into the measurer. Alex’s bladder contracted at the feeling of the cold metal object against the sole of his foot. He hissed a little, shutting his eyes tight and gritting his teeth. 

“Hm?” Adam asked. “Did I hit one of your blisters?” 

It was a good enough excuse. Alex’s feet were coated in blisters thanks to his worn out old shoes, and it was very painful when one of them got bumped. “Yeah.” Once Adam had finished measuring him and had let go of his foot, Alex immediately coiled his legs together, rubbing them against one another. His bladder spasmed once more, ordering him to bring it to a toilet right away before it tore right through his skin. 

He’d tell Adam he had to go as soon as they were done here, he decided. Once they had the shoes, they’d have everything they needed. It wouldn’t matter if Alex’s need caused them to backtrack all the way to the entrance anymore. He focused on his breathing, hoping that if he calmed that down, the rest of his body would follow suit. 

They did have the shoes in Alex’s size, at least. And when Alex tried them on, they were comfortable. He wasn’t able to lace them up, though. He told Adam he’d just never been taught how, but the reality was that he couldn’t bend over without putting too much pressure onto an area of his body that was already close to a nuclear meltdown. 

Shoes chosen, Alex looked at the front of the store. He held back a groan when he saw the short line of people at the checkout. He quickly counted up the number of people ahead of them, both to distract himself from his bladder and to try and gauge how long the wait was going to be. 

The line moved way too slowly, but Alex was certain that even if each person was able to get checked out in less than thirty seconds, that would still be too slow for him and his rippling, sloshing bladder. He barely held back a yelp of surprise when he felt himself beginning to drip into his boxers. He froze, ramrod straight, tensing each and every muscle he had to cut off the leak, his thighs straining together as tight as he could get them. 

This was not good. This was not good at all. Even if the line was finally starting to move, Alex wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold out. He was too full, too many slushys, way too much pee… It was making him more desperate just thinking about how much liquid he’d poured into his body! He groaned out loud then, his teeth clenched. 

“Hm?” Adam asked. “What’s the matter?” 

“Nothing,” Alex said quickly. 

Adam still looked concerned, but they were next in line, so he put Alex’s strange behavior out of his mind while he paid for the shoes. 

As they left the store, Alex wished he could press his legs together, double over and limp slowly and carefully, but he didn’t want to be so obvious when there were people around him that he didn’t even know. Once they were outside, Alex finally blurted it out in a tight, intense whisper; “Adam, I have to use the restroom!” 

Adam didn’t respond. 

“Adam,” Alex repeated, bouncing up and down as he tried to relieve the atrocious, throbbing pressure pulsing between his hips. “Can you take me? Please?” 

“I…” Adam trailed off. He had a look on his face Alex had never seen before. “Can you hold it a little longer?” 

Alex shook his head quickly. He’d already held it as long as it was physically possible to hold it! As if to voice its agreement, Alex’s bladder spasmed and he felt a long, hot jet of pee squirt into his boxers. 

“Not that much longer,” Adam said. “Just… Just until we leave here, and I find you a gas station or something?” 

Alex shook his head once again. He was already going! After that last leak, two more had managed to force their ways out. The pressure in his body was spiking with an intensity he could hardly stand as his bladder begged him to just give up and let it do what it wanted to do. He managed to cut off his flow again by crossing his legs and squeezing them together, but he was certain that if he spurted again, it would quickly turn into a real stream and he wouldn’t be able to stop it. His body was so tense and exhausted… 

Adam shut his eyes. “It will only be five extra minutes, I promise. Maybe even less than that.” 

Alex didn’t have five extra minutes. He barely had a minute at all! Alarm bells were ringing everywhere up and down his spine, he doubled over on himself and pressed his hands against his straining thighs. “I’m r—really sorry,” he managed. He was certain he was causing Adam inconvenience somehow now. But, he couldn’t figure out how. They were done with their shopping, so it wasn’t that he didn’t want to waste time. Maybe there just weren’t any toilets in the mall? Was that why Adam wanted him to wait until they got somewhere else? “Are there not restrooms here?” 

“…N—No,” Adam said. “There are…” 

Alex was then lost in a haze of desperation and confusion, and the two of those things combined made frustration build. There was pressure in his head and throat now as well as the pressure in his bladder. Why was Adam tormenting him!? Adam was usually so nice and caring! Had he made Adam angry, or what? “Then why can’t I pee!?” Alex snapped out. He felt heat flood him then. Not only had that been entirely too loud, he also felt deep shame that he’d lost his temper, even if it had only lasted a second. 

He’d been taught all his life that showing anger was one of the worst sins he could commit. And now he’d gone and done it anyway. And even worse, he’d done it to Adam, the person he loved most of all. He would have to pray for forgiveness tonight. Hopefully God accepted his apology, and hopefully Adam would too. 

“S—Sorry,” Alex said, softer now. He couldn’t stop squirming now even if someone offered him a million dollars. His body was flashing hot and cold, the wet spots on his boxers kept rubbing against his thighs, teasing him with the relief he couldn’t have. “I just… I drank so many slushys, Adam.” 

“It’s okay,” Adam said. “I’m sorry… It’s an emergency, isn’t it?” 

“Yes,” Alex choked out, letting out a humiliating groan. The spasms were happening faster and faster now, his control fraying as he fought to get each one of them under control. He was in such a state of desperate need that none of the dancing he couldn’t stop doing was helping. His teeth sank into his bottom lip enough to draw blood, but the pain in his mouth was actually a welcome distraction from the pain in his bladder. “Can I please go? Please take me?” 

Adam still hesitated. 

“Adam, please? I don’t know where the restrooms even are, and- Ahhnnnnn…- I’m scared to go without you,” Alex begged, tilting his head back and staring at the ceiling of the mall as he hissed out through his clenched teeth. 

Adam wanted to help Alex. Alex’s eyes were filling with tears and looked huge on his face now, he was so doubled over he was practically folded in half. It was obvious Alex needed his help, but Adam was frozen. He was scared to do what needed to be done to help Alex. 

Adam only knew where one of the mall’s restrooms was.

But, that restroom was where ‘it’ had happened. 

‘It’ happened a few years ago. He’d been at the mall with his parents. He’d had two cups of soda at the food court, and really needed the restroom. He’d put it off for as long as he could, hoping to make it home before he had no choice but to go. But, soon enough it was an emergency, he couldn’t wait until he was home.

So, he’d had no option. He’d had to do it. He’d found a restroom and took a deep breath, the action shaking his full bladder even more, then went inside. He only made it a few steps before a hand was on his shoulder. 

“Miss, you’re in the wrong place.” a voice said.

Adam had turned finding himself looking at three men. He’d thought, at first, that the men meant well. They thought he was a girl and that he was confused. But, Adam wasn’t a girl. “No,” he said. “I’m in the right place. I’m a guy.” 

But, then the man’s expression had tensed. His two friends laughed. And Adam knew that their intentions weren’t good. 

Adam stepped away. “I’m a guy,” he repeated. “Leave me alone.” 

“Hell no,” one of the other men said. There was something in his voice that scared Adam deep in his bones. “Are you sure you’re a guy? Because you look more like a dyke.” 

It was only a word. ‘Dyke’ was only a word. But, Adam was weak, and it pierced him like a knife. Adam had started to sweat, the stress and fear was having an affect on his bladder. He felt a leak just at the cusp of breaking free. “I have to pee,” he said. 

“Then go,” the third man said. “Use the urinal. Standing up.” 

Adam knew what the guy was trying to pull. But, he also knew it wasn’t going to work. He was actually a little relieved then. Once the guy saw him take his place at the urinal, he’d stop questioning him. He’d have no reason to think Adam wasn’t the same as any other man. 

He’d unzip, aim his prosthetic and, while he didn’t think he’d be successful in getting his flow started with these people breathing down his neck, once they were satisfied that Adam had a cock they should just leave him alone, right? 

He was naive to think he’d even get that far. 

He shouldn’t have stayed. He shouldn’t have stayed and convinced himself that if he gave the men what they asked for, that he would then be left alone. He shouldn’t have become so focused on proving himself. He should have known better.. But, it was just… He’d wanted to prove himself. He’d wanted the men to see that he had just as much right to be in there as they did. 

So, he’d approached the urinal and gripped his zipper. 

But, before he could pull it down, the fists were already flying. They called him horrible things. They called him a dyke, a freak, a sick cunt. They spat on him and left him bloodied. At some point during it, Adam released his bladder onto himself, but everything else hurt so much that he didn’t even notice. He’d barely managed to escape from them, run out the door and into the light, where it was safe and there were witnesses. Only then did he let himself cry. 

He’d found his parents again, and they were stunned by his bleeding nose, wet pants, and roughed up shoulders. He just told them he had to go home, and that was where they took him. Then they asked him for descriptions of the men whom had beaten him, said that they could have hate crime charges brought against them, but Adam just hadn’t felt like pursuing it. It was bad enough what they did, he didn’t need to drag it out even longer by having to relive it while he spoke to law enforcement. He just had to put it behind him. 

But, it was never fully behind him. It was always there. It was always a part of him. 

He was protective of Alex, but he had a reason to be. 

Adam was scared to go back in that room. And he was scared to take Alex into it. 

Alex was naive, even more than Adam had ever been. If anyone ever challenged Alex in a restroom, chances were he wouldn’t even realize there was a hint of danger until it was too late. 

He knew it was ridiculous to think those three assholes would be in that restroom again today, but Adam had nightmares about that place. He had nightmares about the tiles on the floors and the shapes of the mirrors. He didn’t want to go back. 

But, Alex needed him to. 

“I’m sorry,” Adam said. “I’ll take you. Come on.” 

That restroom was close to where they were at least. Alex lost several more long, hot spurts of pee as they walked the short distance, cursing the way the waistband of his pants cut into his abdomen. They arrived at the door and Adam stopped cold. He had that look on his face again. The one Alex couldn’t recognize. “What’s—“ 

“This is… Where it happened,” Adam said softly. 

“Where—“ Alex cut himself off, another spurt of pee threatening to dribble forward. “Oh…” He wriggled his hips, now feeling apprehensive of the room that two seconds ago had looked like salvation. A long stream of pee began to cascade down his legs, his bladder squeezing itself. He felt like he was going to cry from how badly he needed to pee, from how scared he felt, and from how much he wanted to hug Adam and make him feel better. He couldn’t hug Adam now though, if he did he’d have an accident and drench them both. 

Adam took a deep breath. “Come on, I’ll keep you safe,” he said. 

They entered. It was empty, which made Alex feel better. He moaned as he tried to get to the urinal, placing one shaky foot down in front of the other. Once he’d made it, he jammed his legs right up against each other and tugged down his zipper, tearing the head of his prosthetic free and finally letting it all go. 

His brain filled itself with static as the haze of relief settled over him. He tipped his head back to stare at the ceiling again, this time in pleasure rather than agony. His legs started to feel extremely wobbly, like he might actually lose his balance. His pee splashed loudly against the urinal and he let out a nice, fluttery sigh, releasing the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding along with his pee. 

Adam’s heart was beating hard. His eyes were fixed on Alex. He knew they shouldn’t have been. Alex was freaking PEEING, Adam shouldn’t stare at him while he does that! Adam also knew that he didn’t NEED to watch Alex. Those three men weren’t here to harm him. No one was. But, being in this place again, seeing the tiles, seeing the mirrors, smelling the cheap air freshener… It was making Adam feel everything he’d felt on that day all over again. All the same fear. All the same embarrassment. All the same shame. The shame in who he was; A shame he hadn’t felt in so long. 

“Phew…” Alex exhaled as he shook out his STP. 

Adam remembered where he was again. Wow, that must have been at least a minute and a half… Alex really had needed to go… No way would he have made it to a gas station like Adam had suggested. 

Alex zipped up and headed for the sink. “Thank you, Adam,” he said. “It’s really brave of you to come back in here just so I can feel safe.” 

And, like that, the shame went away again. Adam had no reason to be ashamed of himself. He wasn’t a bad person. He could be courageous, and he could look out for the people he loved. Nothing about that was wrong or shameful. “You okay?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah, I’m better,” Alex said. 

And so was Adam.

Link to comment

Alex was going to the corner store all by himself today. He was really nervous. He had never gone anywhere alone before in his life. Even now, he was always either with Adam, or with his Mom and younger siblings. He was never, ever alone unless he was at home while Adam went to his job. And, even then, Adam would be calling him to check in and make sure he was okay. 

Alex needed to learn how to go places on his own, though. He needed to gain the independence that he’d been so totally denied growing up. Adam liked spending so much time with Alex, of course, but it wasn’t the most healthy thing for Alex to be so reliant on him that he couldn’t set foot outside without him. 

“It’s a very short walk,” Adam said. “Just a couple blocks. You know the way, don’t you?” 

“I do,” Alex nodded shakily. He felt ridiculous. He was an adult, such a tiny amount of time spent outside the house by himself shouldn’t have seemed so terrifying. 

“Good,” Adam said. “And you have the money?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Okay, you just have to pick up one bag of chips,” Adam said. “And, try to talk to the cashier if you can, alright? You can call me if you need anything, but I’m sure you can do this.” 

“O—Okay,” Alex said. He was much less confident in his ability than Adam was… He kept imagining himself getting kidnapped, or mugged, or any of the other terrible things he’d been told would happen to him if he ever left home by himself when he was growing up. 

“You ready?” 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be,” Alex admitted. 

“That’s okay,” Adam said. “I just want you to try, if it’s too much you can just come back right away. I won’t be disappointed in you.” 

Alex nodded, he felt a little better. Still, he wanted to impress Adam. Adam was always so calm and relaxed and cool… He was hardly scared of anything, and he knew so much about everything… Alex wasn’t cool at all, and practically everything confused him or felt threatening. “Alright,” Alex said. “I’ll try.” He headed to the front door of the apartment. He paused at it, trying to grab the knob to open it and step outside. 

He looked back over his shoulder at Adam. 

“You can do it!” Adam said. “I know you can!” 

Feeling a tiny surge of confidence, Alex flung open the door and began to clomp down the steps leading down the building. Once he was on the ground and approaching the sidewalk, the confidence started to fade away. He was alone, and there were people he didn’t know walking around. He didn’t have Adam to lean on. He didn’t have his Mother to hide behind. He didn’t have his siblings to disappear into. He only had himself. 

He felt like everyone was looking at him, when in reality he knew they probably weren’t. As he became more and more aware of how being alone outside felt, he also became aware of the pressure in his bladder. Alex quickly recounted his morning to himself, and realized that he’d been so nervous about the mission that he’d neglected to visit the toilet after waking up. 

Now that he’d remembered that he hadn’t peed all day, his need to do so started to feel very intense. He wondered if he should go back up to the apartment and relieve himself. He’d tell Adam he wasn’t giving up on the mission, he just really had to go and hadn’t noticed. But…Alex wasn’t sure if he’d be able to make himself leave a second time. If he went back inside, he knew he would end up staying there. He’d never make the trip to the corner store alone. 

It would be okay, Alex decided. He knew this was going to be a short trip, and even though he really did need the toilet, if it turned out that he couldn’t wait through the whole thing, the store would have a restroom he could use. It would be okay. 

Alex began walking in the direction of the store. He kept whipping his head back and forth, looking over his shoulder and trying to check for suspicious, white vans or people who looked unfriendly. People he never would have been fearful of if Adam was beside him appeared threatening now that he was by himself. The nerves were making the throbbing urge in his bladder grow worse. He felt like his bladder was a balloon twisted around a gushing faucet, tons of liquid being pumped into it with each passing second. 

He needed to cross one street before he got to the store. He’d never crossed the street alone before, either. Alex’s bladder convulsed as he suddenly stopped walking and started to bounce up and down on his heels instead. He looked left, then right, then left again. Then right again. Then another left. He just kept looking up and down the street, and even though he neither saw nor heard any approaching cars, he was convinced that the instant he stepped out onto the road, one would just spontaneously appear out of nowhere. 

It was the urging of his bladder that finally prompted Alex to start moving again. His need was quickly approaching a more critical level, and the waistband of his shorts was beginning to feel entirely too tight. He made up his mind right then and there that he was going to have to pee at the store, no way around it. 

As he walked the rest of the way, his need for the toilet became much more troubling to him than the unpleasant sensations and anxieties that being on his own had prompted. He actually started to forget that he was outside and by himself as he started to focus only on placing one foot in front of the other, shuffling along the path that was going to lead him to what he needed. 

The ache inside his body grew heavier and heavier with each beat of his heart. He began to crumple inwards under the weight of the accumulating mass condensing within his bladder. He was doing everything he could to move quickly and discreetly, grimacing all the while. By the time he reached the store, Alex needed to pee so much that he was actually a little scared. He pushed open the door of the shop and shuffled inside. He bypassed the aisle containing the chips that Adam had told him to get, instead moving hurriedly to the door in the back that contained the image of pink and blue stick-people. Relief at last! 

Except, when he tugged on the door, it didn’t open. Alex worried at his lip as he crossed his legs, thighs clenching and knees knocking. He hoped whoever was in there didn’t take too long, Alex thought he was bordering on a medical emergency. Pee was swirling and tossing around in his middle, like water being thrown around a washing machine. Alex’s urine was thrashing to and fro, angrily trying to force its way out of his body as it screamed at him, demanding to know why he hadn’t used the toilet that morning after waking up like he always had before. 

More time passed with the door remaining firmly closed. Alex started to wonder if maybe he’d just messed up with the door. He hadn’t pushed hard enough, or maybe he was actually supposed to pull it instead. He tried both of these things, but the door separating him and his bladder from the oblivion of release still didn’t budge. He let go of the knob, balling his hands into fists and swinging them back and forth at his side as he jiggled up and down on his tightly crossed legs. 

Alex thought about knocking on the door and asking the person to hurry up, but was worried that would be rude. There were strict rules about etiquette and politeness at his old home, and knocking on the bathroom door, even if someone really, REALLY had to go, was not allowed. Alex was thinking now about how, really, the rule hadn’t made much sense. Because if Alex or his Mom or any of his siblings were in the bathroom for too long, Dad would just open the door, walk in, and yell at them to hurry it up… That was much ruder than knocking, but for some reason the rules never seemed to apply to Dad like they did to everyone else. 

Maybe the person in there was mad at him for messing with the door so much, Alex thought. They were going to stay in there for as long as they could now to punish him for being rude. Alex managed to stay standing at the door for a few more minutes, until he just couldn’t hold still anymore and had to rush off. He grabbed the first bag of chips he saw and nervously brought them to the cashier. He shifted from foot to foot as the cashier rang them up. He could barely stand up straight as he continued to endure the agony of retaining a boiling boulder of piss in his core. 

Adam had told Alex to try to talk to the cashier, and before Alex was nervous because he didn’t know what he could say. Now though, he definitely had something he wanted to say. “I—Is there another restroom?” Alex stammered. “The one in the back is—“ 

“Sorry, man,” the cashier shrugged. “The lock got jammed, I’ve been waiting for the guy to come fix it all day.” 

What was at first dismay quickly worked itself up into panic when Alex noticed the way the cashier was shifting around behind the counter. The idea of release had gotten so prominent in Alex’s mind during his walk here that being met with denial instead left Alex feeling scared. “And there’s not a second one?” he asked. 

The cashier shook his head, “Trust me, if there was, I would have found it by now,” he said. And, Alex genuinely felt bad for the poor guy, stuck here for the rest of his shift with nowhere to pee and obviously feeling the urge. It didn’t take much imagination for Alex to put himself in the cashier’s shoes, he practically already was after all. 

As Alex handed the money to the other desperate man, he had to fight back against fantasies soaring through his mind. Fantasies of undoing the button on his shorts just to squeeze out a tiny bit more room for his intensely full bladder. He fantasized about dashing behind the building, yanking down his zip and blasting a stream of boiling hot piss against the wall. He fantasized about using the remainder of his money to buy a large bottle of soda, pouring its contents onto the grass outside and refilling it with all the liquid his kidneys had rudely dumped into his bladder. He fantasized about running outside, knocking on someone’s door and begging to use their restroom, being granted access and finally being allowed to gush his ocean of misery out into a toilet. 

But, the only option he actually had was to keep holding it. 

He took the chips and got his change. The bag of chips was small enough he could fit into one of the pockets in his shorts… He was a little surprised by that, the pockets on all of his old clothes had been TINY— Sometimes the pockets would just be FAKE and he couldn’t put anything in them at all!

He didn’t have time to think about that, however. He had to get home. He stumbled back out of the store. He looked up and down the street, wondering if there was anywhere else he could hope to find a usable toilet, but he had no idea if any of the other stores on the block would let him go in just to pee. He knew he could just go in and ask, but if they said no, that just added on more time he was gonna have to wait. 

He had to go home. It was such a short walk! He could make it, for sure! He started the trek, focused once more just on placing one foot in front of the other. Over and over and over again in an endless trudge of ever increasing desperation. He made it to the street he’d have to cross. He spent much less time checking for oncoming cars than he had the first time. He couldn’t stand still long enough to look up and down the road repeatedly, and it seemed safe enough. 

He hurried across the street as fast as he could, terrified that he’d been wrong and a car would materialize out of thin air to mow him down, and bursting full of so much urine that he knew he had no time to dawdle if he was going to make it in time. 

After what must have been only twenty minutes, but felt more like two hours to Alex, he was back at his apartment building and staring at the steps he now needed to climb. His bladder shuddered as he gritted his teeth. He didn’t have a choice but to drag his water-logged, piss-filled body up those steps. The sooner he did it, the sooner he’d get to pee. He knew he had to bite the bullet and start moving, but as he raised his foot and set it on the first step, a shockwave of urgency fired through the sole of his foot, up the line of his leg and slammed right into his bladder. 

Alex leaked. 

The first few drops of his dam breaking apart soaked into his boxers. It was such a tiny, meagre loss of control but it still terrified him. He was going to lose it. He was going to pee all over himself when he was SO close to being home and being safe… Alex dared not move for the longest time. His breathing was tense and short and his hands dug deep into the material between his trembling legs. 

His situation had already been such an extreme, awful emergency when he’d reached the door to the restroom at the store, and that felt like it had been four hours ago! Alex shakily made his way onto the next step, and leaked again. His focus was set entirely on the very extreme effort it took to restrain all of the liquid torture inside of his body. That second leak left him teetering right on the edge of an accident. 

The need to relax his sphincters and let his pee flow freely reduced him to his base, animal instincts. His legs were moving without control as his mind— Alex’s body was now so full of liquid it felt like it was beginning to pour into his brain— ceased to function beyond the basic things. Left foot, right foot, up the steps. Just move. Just hold it. Please, please hold it! He was making progress, but he knew the end was coming quick. His bladder felt like an incredibly heavy bowling ball, and he was doing everything he could not to drop it. Every step he took seemed to add even more liquid into the overly full, bloated organ. 

Instinct kept him moving. Instinct kept him climbing. Instinct got him to the door to his apartment. Instinct gave him the strength to tear a hand away from his crotch to open it and step inside. 

Before Alex could run to the toilet, Adam was hugging him tight, “You did it!” Adam said happily. “I knew you could!” 

The weight of Adam’s body squeezed into Alex’s bladder like it was caught in a vice. “Adam—!” Alex cried out, feeling a choppy, hesitant stream begin to pour from him. “Don’t!” 

“What’s the—“ 

“Lemme go!” Alex said. 

Adam stepped back, concern clear on his face. 

Alex felt bad, but he just couldn’t hold it, and he couldn’t explain, there just wasn’t any time to! He ran as fast as he could to the restroom, already unbuttoning his shorts. His slow stream picked up speed as he rushed to the room that would grant him his relief, but he didn’t care. He just had to get in there!

“What’s wrong?” Adam called after him. “Did something happe—“ His question died on his lips when he saw Alex dash into the restroom, and two seconds after heard what sounded like an explosion of hissing water slamming into the toilet bowl. “…Oh,” he said. Adam slowly headed towards the open door of the restroom— Alex often forgot to shut it. He got a quick glimpse of Alex standing there and emptying a waterfall into the toilet, shivering and pink in the face. Wow… Poor guy had to go BAD… “Alex? Sweet thing? You okay?” 

Alex panted a couple times, trying to catch his breath. His spine was tingling now, his muscles going so loose and slack… “Hff… Hff… I’m… Okay… Now…” he managed to gasp out between heavy puffs of air. 

Adam averted his eyes and tried not to listen to Alex’s downpour. It was a little tricky NOT to, however. Alex was gushing like a broken sprinkler, peeing like he hadn’t visited a toilet in days… His release was so noisy. 

Alex’s jaw was still clenched a little bit. He was trying not to let himself moan uncontrollably, not to let himself make such improper, vulgar noises. But, at the same time, he wanted to make those primal sounds, to lose himself in the wondrous feeling of relief after so much restraint. He allowed himself to emit a pleased sounding hum as he poured and poured into the bowl. “Mmmm….” 

Slowly, his stream tapered off. He leaned forward and shook out his STP before zipping back up. He nearly flushed the toilet out of habit again, but he remembered Adam had told him not to do that if he’d just peed so he could save water. And Adam was right there. Alex blushed when he realized that. He’d forgotten about the door again… He went to the sink and washed his hands off, “Um… Sorry if I was rude when I got home. I had to go to the restroom really, really bad.” 

Adam cracked up, “Really? I couldn’t tell!” 

“Eheh…” Alex laughed softly. He took the bag of chips out of his pocket. “I did it, though!” he said. “I got the chips— And guy-pockets are so convenient! You can actually FIT things into them!” 

“Heh, yeah,” Adam said. “They’re cool. So, everything worked out okay?” 

“Yeah, I was scared at first, and I REALLY needed to go the whole time,” Alex said. “But, I did it. I went out by myself.” 

“You know, that store does have a restroom,” Adam said. “You didn’t have to—“ 

“The lock was broken, I couldn’t use it,” Alex said. 

"You still did really good today. Now you know you don’t always need me to take you places.” 

“But, I like to go places with you,” Alex said. 

“I do, too!” Adam said, hugging Alex. “But, it’s okay to do things apart sometimes, too. When you got away from your old home, you wanted to find independence, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah…” 

“Well, part of being independent is spending time on your own and learning how you like to handle things,” Adam explained. “We’re always going to do new things together, but we both need things of our own too, you know?” 

“Yeah, I get it,” Alex said. “Can we spend the rest of today together though?” 

“Of course we can,” Adam said. “I’m so proud of how you handled today, we should do something to celebrate.”

Link to comment

Alex was so tired. He looked to the clock on the nightstand and saw that it was approaching 3 AM. He wished he could just fall asleep, but trying to sleep through the discomfort of a really, really full bladder had proved impossible. 

Alex crossed his legs back and forth beneath the sheets, trying not to accidentally kick Adam asleep beside him. Alex had resigned himself to a sleepless night and just hoped he could hold it until morning without soaking the sheets. He was starting to doubt it though. His pajama pants were normally very loose, but now the waistband was cutting like a knife. His bladder was swollen. Visibly swollen. He could see a bump protruding in his abdomen. He was that full of piss. 

The bathroom was just down the hall. Relief was just down the hall. But, Alex couldn’t reach it. He couldn’t make himself stand up and leave the safety of the bed and of Adam. 

A torrential thunderstorm was taking place outside. The hiss of rain pounding on the roof was doing nothing to help Alex’s bladder, and the claps of thunder and shocks of lightning were the precise reason he couldn’t work up the nerve to hobble down the hallway for a pee. Alex was terrified of thunder. He had a good reason to be, he thought, at his old home thunderstorms were tools for punishments. As God punished the sinners by flooding the Earth, if someone committed a sin at Alex’s old home and a storm was taking place, they would be locked outside to endure it, usually in the middle of the night. 

The house Alex grew up in was surrounded by deep woods that were fun to explore during the day in the sun, but absolutely horrifying in the pitch black of the night with wind and rain transforming all the shadows into vicious beasts, and thunder roaring ferociously. He would quickly grow soaked, cold and very scared. Sometimes he’d wet himself out there, either from the fear or from just not being able to hold it until he was let back inside. The warm urine gliding down his legs mixed with the cold rain water and made him feel absolutely worthless. When he was let back in in the morning, Papa would snarl at him that he looked indecent, his shirt clinging to his chest and making the parts he could barely even reconcile as being his all the more visible. 

Alex hated thunderstorms. 

He didn’t want Adam to know that they scared him, though. Adam was just so cool and relaxed and sure of himself all the time… Alex already felt lame next to him, certain that one day Adam would realize that Alex wasn’t cool enough for him and move onto someone better. Being scared of thunder was childish, un-manly and not cool at all. So, when the storm had begun to pick up outside, Alex had worked very hard not to let his fear show. ‘Adam is not going to lock you out in the storm,’ he reminded himself. ‘You don’t need to be scared. You can stay inside.’

But, as the loud booming claps grew stronger throughout the night, so too did Alex’s fright. When getting ready for bed, he stayed closer to Adam than he usually did, hoping the other didn’t pick up on the fact he was terrified. Adam didn’t thankfully. “Wow,” he had said. “Aren’t you affectionate tonight,” and then he’d given Alex a quick kiss that had made him feel a lot better, but then after Adam had pulled back away, Alex was back to feeling trembly and scared. 

When they’d gotten into bed, Adam was still under the impression that Alex’s sudden clinginess was just from a desire to cuddle. In a way, it was, because when Adam held him softly once the lights were turned out, Alex had felt safer. Adam’s arms were around him. Adam was breathing so gently. Alex was safe and warm under the covers, with a roof over his head, and the person he loved wrapped around him. He had no reason to be worried. 

But when another crash of thunder exploded outside, Alex’s heart pounded like a scared rabbit’s. And, half an hour later, when he heard Adam start to snore and knew he was asleep, Alex realized he hadn’t peed before bed. He hadn’t peed since before dinner, during which he’d drank three glasses of water. Eventually, he’d squirmed away from Adam, not wanting to wake him up with all the fidgeting he was unable to stop, and now he was staring longingly at the clock, trying to convince himself he could wait until morning. 

Or, perhaps the storm would end before then. Alex hoped so. If the thunder stopped, he’d feel brave enough to leave the bed and relieve his poor bladder. But, rain was thrumming against the roof in a constant, splattery hiss— so much like the constant, splattery hiss Alex wanted to let flow into the toilet down the hall— and he knew it wasn’t going to stop any time soon. 

Alex tried to will himself out of bed. He sat up slowly, feeling the stretch inside his body cramping, and gently set one foot down on the floor. 

THOOOM! 

An enormous clap of thunder, loud enough to shake the building and followed immediately by a bright bolt of lightning, caused a slow trickle of urine to leak into Alex’s pants, and Alex to dive back into bed, wondering how Adam hadn’t even woken up. He just laid there, thighs straining as he tried to will his drippy bladder to close itself shut again, body shuddering with icy fear. 

He couldn’t do it. 

He couldn’t be brave enough to walk down the hall and pee like an adult. 

He was glad Adam hadn’t been woken by the sounds of the storm. If Adam had seen that, if he knew, Alex would probably be dumped right on the spot. 

*** 

Adam was sitting on a rickety raft in the middle of a roaring ocean. The raft rocked violently up and down, back and forth, as the waves around him built in intensity. Rainclouds were dumping gallons of trickling liquid into the ocean, water noisily splashing against water. 

All of it was Hell on Adam’s bladder, and as he sat there on his torn up, unstable raft, his legs were shaking with the effort of holding back his flood. If the raft would stop bobbing around so much, if it stopped behaving like an out of control roller coaster and went still, he’d be able to unzip and pee over the side of it. If the ocean would settle down and he no longer had to worry about being swept away with nothing to float on, he could just get in the water and let go. But, the sea was too violent for any of that. He couldn’t even use his hands to help hold it, because he needed them to cling onto the raft that felt, with each twirling wave, like it was trying to throw him into the ocean to drown. It was less like a raft, and more like one of those mechanical bull rides at the state fair. 

Adam couldn’t actually remember how he’d ended up here, apparently lost at sea with an absolutely painful and all consuming need to urinate. All he knew was that he WAS here, and he didn’t want to make the miserable experience of being stuck in the middle of an ocean during a thunderstorm even worse by having to sit in his own piss too. 

It didn’t look like he was going to have much of a choice in that matter for much longer, however. He was soaked through from head to toe because of all the rain and crashing waves that had drenched onto him, but every so often he’d feel a spurt of liquid that was warm rather than icy cold, and he knew that meant he was losing control of his bladder. 

He considered just giving it up and letting it all go, so that he could focus on clinging to the raft instead. But peeing his pants proved difficult as well. When he finally decided that enough was enough and he was just going to allow his accident to happen, his bladder no longer seemed as eager to get spraying. He pushed down on himself, trying to force it out, but it still wouldn’t come. He grew frustrated, first he was struggling not to piss his pants, and now he had to struggle TO do it as well? That didn’t even make sense! 

A huge roar of thunder sounded in the distance and Adam was annoyed for two reasons; First, the noise was startling and obnoxious. Second, it was not startling and obnoxious enough to scare the piss out of him. He continued to strain against his stubborn bladder, continued trying to coax it into releasing, but for some reason it just wouldn’t let go. 

Slowly, he started to feel himself growing warmer, which he thought must have been because he’d finally started pissing, but his bladder still felt as hard and swollen as ever. And he felt the warmth everywhere, not just around his crotch. 

His eyes slowly blinked open and he realized he was not lost at sea, he was in bed. That had been a dream. But, when he noticed how much the bed was shaking, he realized all the rocking and bouncing he’d endured during his nightmare hadn’t just been figments of his imagination. A second later, the fact that a certain other aspect of his dream had followed him into the waking world slammed into his abdomen. ‘Oh, wow, I gotta GO!’ he realized, noticing that at some point in his sleep his hands had tucked between his coiled together legs. 

He didn’t understand why the bed was being jostled around so much until he sat upright. As the waistband of his pajama pants cruelly squeezed into his full bladder in his new position, Adam realized his boyfriend was squirming and tossing back and forth, his legs scissoring with obvious urgency. Assuming poor Alex was probably enduring the same sort of dream he’d just woken himself up from, Adam debated if he should wake him. The only reason he was second guessing it was because he didn’t want Alex to ask to go first. It was mean, but Adam needed to pee so bad that it felt like he hadn’t visited a toilet in over a month, and he didn’t think he could wait for Alex to pee first. 

He’d get Alex up after he’d finished, Adam decided. Sucking in a breath around his teeth, Adam carefully stood from bed. Now, suddenly fighting against gravity, Adam folded almost totally in half as his bladder shrieked in a wild frenzy. ‘Oh my God…’ he thought, stepping in place and fighting to get this under a little bit of control. ‘Can I even MAKE IT down the hall?!’ “Oooh!” he whimpered, totally involuntarily. His heart was beating very fast now and he noted with dismay that it was probably going to take him a while to get back to sleep. ‘Nothing like a desperate need to take a leak to really wake a person up…’ he thought bitterly. 

Alex sat up, “Adam?” he asked. “What’s—“

“Ohh, Jesu—“ Adam cut off the word mid-syllable. “Jeez,” he corrected himself. Alex always got upset when he took The Lord’s name in vain, which was a difficult thing for Adam to remember. “I didn’t mean to wake you. Just… Had the most intense pee-dream of my life, I think. Sorry.” He started to hobble towards the door, when he heard Alex whimper. 

That sound made him stop. “Hm?” 

“Take me with you…” Alex murmured softly. 

So, Adam was right. Alex did need to pee too. Despite his earlier wish to go first, he made himself ask; “You want to go first? I can wai—“ 

Alex was shaking his head. “I— I want to go with you,” he said. “I’ve been— I haven’t slept all night, because I’ve been holding it and—“ 

Adam went as still as he could go while containing such an aching bladder. Which honestly wasn’t that still at all. He was doing a very peculiar march in the spot where he stood and his hips twisted back and forth. “Why have you been holding it all night?” 

“I can’t tell you,” Alex said. “Just forget it. If you don’t want me to go with you, I’ll just keep—“ 

Adam really wished Alex could pick a time that wasn’t ‘the middle of the night when we’re both desperate to pee’ to suddenly be so cryptic. “Sweet thing,” he said, teeth chattering as his arms wrapped themselves around his upper body. Everything above his waist was in knots, while everything below was in endless, frantic motion. “You can tell me anything.” 

“… I’m too scared of the thunder to go,” Alex mumbled. “I’m sorry, please don’t think I’m lame now. Please don’t leave me. Just, Papa used to make me stand outside at night in the storms if I disobeyed, and—“ 

“Slow down,” Adam said. “You think I’d break up with you because of this?” 

Alex nodded. 

“I would never,” Adam said. “I—“ he cut himself off as he felt a dismal trickle start to slide lazily down his leg. “We can talk more about this later if you need to. Just, for now, know that I love you, but I really, really need to pee and I can’t do ANYTHING else until after I’ve done THAT.”

Alex made himself get up, and Adam noticed the hunched way he walked, knees rubbing together and toes pointed in towards each other. “Take me with you?” he asked again. 

“Of course, but you gotta hurry,” Adam said, not that he thought Alex really needed encouragement for that. Poor thing was clearly in a very similar state of need. Adam was concerned if either one of them could wait on the other to finish at this point… 

When they got to the door of the restroom, which was only a few short paces down the hallway, they were both dribbling. To Adam’s surprise, the next words out of Alex’s mouth were “Y—You can go first…” 

Adam fought not to jump on the opportunity as his bladder shrieked at him to take it. “Alex, that’s sweet of you,” Adam replied. “But, you’ve been waiting all night.” 

“I’m bugging you,” Alex retorted. “You go first.” 

“You aren’t bothering me,” Adam said. “You can go.” 

“You can go,” Alex said. “I can wait while—“ 

“Alex, you’re going!” Adam said, noticing the dark patch forming over the crotch of Alex’s pants. 

Alex stared at the evidence of his loss of control in horror. He forced his thighs together and managed to stop it, noticing the state of Adam’s clothes as he did. “S—So are you!” Alex exclaimed, nodding down at Adam’s pants. 

Adam stared down and saw that, yes, the damp spot on his pants was growing. Clenching his fists until his knuckles turned white and jumping from foot to foot, he plugged his leak back up but his bladder was still so eager to spray out the rest and he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t wait, he couldn’t wait. “L—Let’s go together!” he said. 

“Wh—What?” 

“You are wearing your—“ 

“Yeah,” Alex said. He knew it was best to take his STP off before bed to give his skin time to breathe, but it felt so much like it was actually a part of his body that sometimes he just forgot to do that. 

“Then we can just stand next to each other and go at the same time,” Adam said. “Hurry before we both lose it.” 

Alex danced nervously, but soon the urging of his bladder was enough that he dashed into the restroom and up to the toilet. Adam followed closely behind him and lifted the lid and seat, before pulling his pajama pants down with one harsh tug and aiming his prosthetic. He made himself keep holding it however, and that was the hardest thing he’d endured that night. Having to stand there at the toilet, with his dick out and pointed at his target, while still restraining his bloated bladder… But, he didn’t want to let go before Alex was ready to pee as well. 

Alex hooked his fingers over the waistband of his pants and stopped. “Th—This is… Okay to do?” 

Adam was confused why Alex would think it wasn’t. He knew Alex was pretty strict with himself in regards to following rules, but it wasn’t like ‘Only one person can pee in a toilet at a time’ was a rule that was set in stone, especially not in their own home, at their own toilet. “Who’s going to get mad at you for it?” Adam said, and against his will a spurt of his piss hissed into the toilet before he was ready. He cringed as he bore down on his muscles and brought his flow to a halt. “Alex, please, I’m at the end of my rope here.” 

Alex was beet-red as he pulled down his pants and aimed. He didn’t know how to explain how strange this felt to him. He knew there was no actual rule against this anywhere, but it felt like he was breaking some kind of code and doing something forbidden. Perhaps that was why his bladder didn’t start to release as soon as he’d gotten situated. 

“Ready?” Adam asked eagerly. 

Alex wordlessly nodded. 

“Oh, thank Go— goodness,” Adam managed to correct himself as he dropped the control he had been fighting to keep for what seemed like ages. The sound of a stream splashing into the water rang out. “Ahhhh…” Adam moaned out loud as he felt the liquid he had been holding back leave him. The feeling of relief swept over him, but was soured when he realized that his stream was the only one blasting out. 

‘Maybe he’s a little nervous,’ Adam thought. He took one hand off of his dick and gently rubbed Alex’s back. “Shhh, you’re okay, just relax. This is fine.” 

And that was all it took. The sound of hissing liquid intensified as a second stream of long held piss began to pound into the bowl. Alex immediately shivered with pleasure the second it had begun pouring out of him. “Phew…” he exhaled quietly. 

“That’s better, isn’t it?” Adam said softly. 

“Mmm, yes…” Alex agreed with his eyes partway shut. 

As they both continued gushing away, Adam remembered something his younger brother had talked about doing with a friend once. It was before Adam had gotten his STP, and hearing about it had made Adam feel a strange, hollow sensation. He’d felt silly for feeling left out and like he was missing out on something, but at the time it had been a piercing reminder to him that he wasn’t like other guys… Now though, he had an STP, and he had an opportunity to know how this felt. 

He hoped Alex wouldn’t be offended by it, or think he was weird, or anything.

He adjusted his aim and allowed his stream to cross overtop of Alex’s. 

“Oh!” Alex said, thinking that had been an accident. “Watch out, don’t make a—“ 

“It’s like a game,” Adam said. “When you pee with another guy, sometimes you cross the streams. My brother did it with his friend once, I just… I wanted to know how it fel—“ 

Alex gave a small laugh, and directed his stream against Adam’s. “L—Like this?” 

“Yeah, like that” Adam chuckled. 

Alex’s face grew even warmer. “Heh, this is kinda fun!” he said. 

Adam gave another, different sigh of relief. Alex wasn’t bothered by this after all! They kept it up for a while, both of them had been so ridiculously full that it took some time for them to get empty. Adam’s stream tapered off first, and Alex’s did as well several seconds later. When Alex finished another massive shiver tore through him. 

“All done?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “Thank you. I don’t think I could have made it until morning.” 

Adam’s heart clenched as he remembered everything that had happened before they’d peed… “What’s this about thunder? Your Dad made you stand outside in it?” 

“Yeah, me and my brothers and sisters. If we did something wrong and there was a storm that night, that’s what we’d have to do.” 

“That’s just…” Adam shook his head. “Well, it’s perfectly reasonable for you to be scared of storms, then… I can’t believe you thought I’d break up with you for being traumatized. I’d never do that.” 

“But, it’s… Only little kids should be scared of thunder,” Alex said. 

Adam shook his head, “It’s okay you’re scared, Alex. Don’t ever think I’d be upset with you over something like that.” He pulled Alex in for a hug. “You were hurt a lot, you didn’t deserve that.” 

Alex snuggled closer to him, “Th—Thank you…” 

Thunder crashed outside once more and Alex jumped, trembling in Adam’s arms. “Let’s go back to bed,” Adam said. “You can sleep right up next to me if you want. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

Link to comment

This was supposed to have just been a quick trip to the grocery store. Adam and Alex had gotten all of their stuff easily, check-out had been moving fast, and there was no issue leaving the parking lot. After that, it should have taken them about ten minutes to get back home. 

It should have. 

But that wasn’t what happened. 

Instead, what happened was a massive traffic jam caused by a wreck, and they were trapped on an overpass. And, of course, neither of them had been aware enough of their bladders back at the grocery store to think it may have been a good idea to relieve themselves THERE before heading home. 

Adam drummed his fingers against the steering wheel anxiously, muttering to himself. Alex, whom had spent the last several minutes bouncing his knees and trying not to feel too frightened by the debris from the wreck he could see, asked Adam if he was alright. 

“I’m fine,” Adam said. “Just gotta pee.” 

Alex nodded, “Me too,” he admitted. “I kind of had to at the store, but I thought we’d be going straight home…” He allowed his legs to cross at the ankles. “I should have gone before we left…” 

Adam had had a feeling Alex was getting as antsy as he was. It was kind of weird, but it seemed like their bladders both operated on the same ‘schedule’ and they tended to need to go at the same time as one another pretty often. And, sometimes, that meant they couldn’t really wait on each other to finish up. It wasn’t uncommon for them to return home from somewhere, both dying of desperation and deciding to just go together so neither had to suffer an extra couple minutes. Sometimes, they even woke up in the middle of the night at about the exact same time to go. Adam was admittedly a little fascinated by how in sync their bodies seemed to be in this regard. It was funny that they managed to simultaneously reach the bursting point so often.

He couldn’t spend too much time thinking about that now, though. It would probably be for the best that he didn’t think about peeing at all if he could help it. Now that he’d confessed his need to Alex, Adam squirmed freely, his hips twisting back and forth and one foot tapping frantically. A few times, he’d been desperate enough for a piss while driving that he’d had to pull over, jump from the car, and release his flood on the side of the road. 

But, every time he’d resorted to that, he’d been on a barren road, with no witnesses, and plenty of foliage to hide behind. This time he was on a very crowded overpass, no way he could relieve himself here without everyone around him seeing what he was doing. 

And, it wasn’t like he had to go THAT bad, anyway. He could still hold it. He was just a little uncomfortable was all. And the boredom of being stuck in a car with wall to wall traffic was making it hard to think about anything other than how good peeing was going to feel when he got home. 

The cars ahead of them moved at a snail’s pace. After a while, Adam looked to his side and saw that Alex was beginning to really struggle. He was changing his position over and over again and seemed to be wrestling with his seatbelt, trying to find a way to keep it from pressing into his bladder. His face was tinged pink and his breathing was much heavier than it usually was. 

Alex noticed Adam watching him squirm and tried to stop as heat swarmed through his veins. “S—Sorry,” he said. 

“Why are you apologizing?” Adam asked, his ankles starting to rub up against each other. “I’m doing a pee-dance too.” He tried to laugh to lighten the mood, but cut himself off to hiss through his teeth when his bladder began to feel like it was squeezing in on itself. 

Alex stopped trying to restrain his motions. Not that he really could, anyway. He was mentally kicking himself for not peeing at the store. He wished so much that he had. Just the knowledge that he could have gone a little while ago and had passed up the opportunity was making his need worse. He scissored his legs quickly, fingernails digging into the edge of his seat as he puffed out short, choppy breaths. 

Adam was growing very concerned by how much discomfort his partner was obviously feeling. His need to protect Alex almost outweighed even his need to release a long, hard stream of piss. He noticed Alex take his belt apart and unbutton his shorts. He heard him sigh as the release of that pressure brought him a little bit of relief, but within a moment he was back to his heavy, panicked breathing. 

Adam’s hand worked on its own volition to open the glove compartment. There HAD to be some kind of container in there, surely. He’d have to help Alex get himself into a good position to make use of one, but he knew from past experience that it was possible to use an STP to fill a bottle while stuck in traffic. Adam’s own bladder throbbed with pounding anticipation as the glove compartment popped open, his own need slamming back into him full-force. Maybe there would be TWO bottles in here, that way HE could go too! 

That was an empty hope, though. There weren’t two bottles. There wasn’t even one bottle. There was absolutely nothing of use, nothing that could hold any liquid. 

Alex hadn’t needed to be told what Adam was looking for, and his heart sank when he saw there were no potential emergency urinals in the car. Because, if there was one thing Alex was having by that point, it was a total emergency. His sphincters felt like an old, worn out wall that was beginning to split and fill with cracks. Against his will, a low, whimpering moan tore through his throat and he doubled over on himself. They’d been stuck in the same place for so long and hadn’t moved at all!

Adam’s legs were now twisted up in the most agonizingly tight bow he could manage. He swore he was cutting off all the blood flow to his feet just in an effort to keep the car from transforming into a swimming pool. When he heard Alex make that noise, however, his instincts took over. Alex was obviously panicking, and he needed to be taken care of. “It’s okay, sweet thing,” Adam said, fighting to keep his voice soft and soothing as the pain in his midsection kept forcing it to crack and squeak. 

“Adam, I have to use the restroom really bad…” Alex said softly, miserably. 

“I know…” Adam twitchily placed a hand onto Alex’s thigh and began to rub. He hoped the pattern was soothing for Alex, but his hand was so clammy and shaky that he knew it probably wasn’t helping much. “I know… It’s alright.” 

Alex suddenly got very still, before bouncing rapidly in his seat for several seconds. “Oooh—!” 

Adam assumed he must have just leaked a bit, so continued trying to calm him. “It’s alright,” he repeated. “We’ll be home before you know it. We’ll park, go right up the stairs to our apartment, and then we’ll go together, alright? We’ll both make it just fine,” Adam assured, hoping his mouth wasn’t writing checks that his bladder wouldn’t be able to catch. He was trying so hard to look relaxed and in control in front of Alex to keep him from panicking too much, but he was having a harder and harder time projecting an air of calm confidence when he could feel his bladder stretching further than a bladder should ever be expected to stretch. 

Truth be told, Adam had zero clue how he was going to keep containing himself if traffic remained at a complete lockdown like this much longer. He had zero clue how he was going to drive when he couldn’t uncross his legs long enough to work the pedals. He had zero clue how he was going to climb the stairs to their apartment without turning them into a waterslide. He had zero clue how he was going to make it to their bathroom and unzip before the pressure overwhelmed him and he transformed into an incredibly powerful sprinkler. 

But, Alex didn’t need to hear Adam whimper and moan that he couldn’t possibly hold it. Alex needed to hear that he could make it, that they could both make it. “It will be oka—“ 

“Adam, what if I go in the car?!” Alex interrupted, and Adam saw his face beginning to turn almost deathly pale as his eyes widened tremendously. The pink tint of his embarrassment was gone from his cheeks. All the color was. 

Adam was worried now that Alex was making himself sick trying to hold so much in. “You’re not going t—“ 

“But, what if I do?” 

“Don’t worr—“ 

“Adam, please? I have to know!” 

“If you have an accident,” Adam said, a hand reaching up to grip and tug on his bangs as waves of desperation surged through him at the thought. “We will clean it up. That’s all. I won’t be mad at you, you won’t break anything, you’ll be okay.” 

“O—Okay,” Alex tried to nod, but his body was spasming and vibrating so much that it was hard to tell. He felt like his bladder was being strangled, like someone was trying to twist it like a soaked towel and wring out every last bit of liquid contained within it. Fantasies began to fill his mind’s eye as he started to lose the ability to think of anything other than urinating. He wanted to pee, just for a second. Just one second where he could let it flow and didn’t have to keep straining his muscles. Just one. But, he knew that if he allowed himself to leak a few drops, rather than taking the edge off of his need, it would just make it all the harder to hold. 

Beside him, Adam’s hands firmly planted themselves between his still squirming legs. He’d leaked already, and was trying to plug up the opening of his prosthetic to keep it from seeping all the way into his clothes. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, trying not to conjure up images of toilets or urinals in his mind, trying not to picture how his powerful, clear stream would look when it blasted out of him. He leaked again and let go of himself, urine trickling warmly against the material of his boxers. He pressed himself against the back of his seat, staring up at the ceiling of the car’s interior, knees bouncing and legs twisting as he chewed hard on his lip. He tasted blood on his tongue, but the cut he’d given himself was nowhere near as painful as the horrific pressure in his bladder. 

“I can hold it…” Alex softly whimpered to himself. “I can hold it, I can hold it, I can hold it…” He was hoping that if he repeated the phrase enough times, he’d start to actually believe it. It wasn’t working though. It felt like his skin ought to have been splitting apart, it really did feel like something inside him was being torn open, seams loosening and breaking. “I can hold, I can hold it, I can hold it…” 

Adam was muttering too, but he was speaking to the horrendous block of traffic separating him and his boyfriend from badly longed-for relief. “Come on…” he begged the wall to wall cars in front of him. “Come on, come on… Please move, please…” He was still dreading how he was going to have to retain control of his contorting legs long enough to work the pedals and get them both home. Sweat was pouring off of him in waves, and he hoped that meant there wouldn’t be any more liquid added to his bladder. Just one more drop and he’d explode, he was certain of it. 

Adam tried not to pay attention to Alex’s whispered pleading with his body, his feeble attempts to convince it to keep waiting. It made Adam feel so awful for him. It was horrible to watch Alex suffering so much agony, watch him need something so badly, and have no way to help him out. No way to make him feel better. Again, Adam shakily set a hand on Alex’s thigh and stroked circles around it. “You’re okay,” he said. 

Adam wasn’t sure how much longer he could lie to Alex like that. He knew Alex wasn’t okay. HE wasn’t okay himself. “It’s alright,” Adam said, knowing that wasn’t true either. The situation was so horrid, both of them so desperate for the toilet they could barely breathe and with no idea of when they’d be able to use one. “O—Once it clears, I think there’s a gas station between here and the apartment. We can stop there, it will be faster.”

Alex seemed to show a faint glimmer of hope then. “Is it close?” 

“Yes, I think it’s just a block away,” Adam said. “We’ll go there.” 

“Wh—What if it’s closed?” 

Adam didn’t think it would be, but he replied “We’ll go behind the dumpsters then.” 

“I—Is that allowed?” 

‘Well, no. Not really,” Adam thought. But, what he said was; “Yes, it’s okay to pee behind a dumpster when it’s an emergency. And there’s no reason the gas station would be closed anyway, so don’t worry about that.” 

Adam kept rubbing Alex’s leg and, slowly, the hope Alex had been feeling when Adam suggested stopping at the gas station dwindled away. Traffic still wasn’t moving. The gas station couldn’t help them if they couldn’t ever manage to get to it. “I can hold it…” Alex said to himself again, the phrase sounding less and less truthful the more times he repeated it. “I can hold it, I can hold it, I can hold it…” 

Inside his head, Adam was trying to convince himself of the same thing, trying to convince himself that BOTH of them could hold it however long this took, but his pelvic muscles were so worn out, exhausted. His sphincters felt like a worn out rubber band that had lost all of its elasticity. He could barely believe he was even still holding on. It hurt so much that he knew he was probably causing some sort of damage to himself by continuing to keep all this fluid at bay. If nothing else, he was sure he’d feel horribly sore in that area come tomorrow. 

Adam suddenly felt slick warmth beneath the hand he’d been pressing against Alex’s thigh. Even though his only thoughts for the last hour and a half had been about pee, he was still confused by the sensation for a second. Then it clicked. Alex was going. His legs were beginning to get drenched as urine pulsed angrily from his burst, overtaxed bladder. 

It took Alex a second to realize what had happened as well. He was still chanting his mantra to himself “I can hold it, I can hold it, I can hold it,” not noticing that his body had already disagreed with the statement. What he noticed first was the absence of the tight, painful pressure right at his opening. It was suddenly gone, even though his bladder still felt uncomfortably full. Then, he noticed the pressure had been replaced by swishing heat and the sensation of something deflating and shrinking in his center. Then, it all registered to him; He was peeing. He was peeing uncontrollably into his clothes in his cool boyfriend’s car! 

Tears welled up in his eyes then and quickly spilled down his cheeks as he began to cry. He could no more stop his sobbing than he could stop his accident. 

“Alex,” Adam said. “Hey, no, don’t cry!” he pleaded, so overcome by the need to tend to Alex, to comfort him, that he didn’t notice the sudden drop in pressure taking place in his own body. “It’s okay, it’s okay!” 

“It’s not,” Alex insisted throatily, still shamefully peeing away. He could hear it hissing so loudly, he could feel it pooling hot underneath his body and soaking the seat. “I— I—“ 

“It’s okay,” Adam said once more, scooting closer, and only then did he register the warm liquid gushing between his own legs. He glanced down and saw how wet his shorts were, judging by the amount, he knew he must have been peeing for quite some time already… “L—Look, I couldn’t wait anymore either.” He gestured to his rapidly soaking clothes. It felt very weird to be directing someone’s attention to his crotch while he was releasing his bladder. It felt especially weird to be doing that while he was releasing his bladder into his shorts and not a toilet, urinal or anything else that could reasonably be considered a proper place to relieve oneself. 

Alex saw how drenched Adam was getting and his crying began to die down, “A—Are you okay?” he sniffled. 

“I’ll live,” Adam said, noticing how Alex was still trembling, a few more tears sliding down is face. Adam took Alex’s hand and squeezed it. This was certainly a first. He’d never held hands with someone while taking a leak before, especially not an accident… “It’s okay.” 

Alex squeezed back, his bladder still dumping out what must have been gallons of pee… He was stunned by the amount. No wonder it had hurt so bad… And what a relief it was to— “Ohhh,” Alex moaned. “Why does this have to feel good?!” 

Adam snorted out a laugh and realized that Alex was right. This DID feel good. It felt really, REALLY good! Adam had needed to let this flow so much, the pain had been so intense… Giving in and letting his body do what it had to do felt absolutely wonderful. “We… Really needed to do this,” he said. “Of course it feels good.” He almost didn’t want it to end… The relief of urinating after so long, the feeling of Alex’s hand in his own… It was nice. 

And he knew that after it was over, it was certainly going to feel a lot less nice. 

Alex let his eyes drift shut. He tried to forget that he was in the car, he tried to forget that he was making an awful mess and had lost control over his body. He tried to just focus on how he was peeing, and on how incredible the release felt. All that fullness and all that fluid, the horrible, aching stretch numbing away to be replaced by delightful tingling… He started to shiver and knew that meant he was nearly done. Wow, that had been a lot… 

Adam’s stream began to taper off as well and reality crept back in. He was going to have to sit in this now. He was going to have to sit in smelly, wet clothes in a smelly, wet seat for however long it took to get home. Already, his urine was cooling down and making the material in his boxers and shorts cling uncomfortably to his skin. 

Alex shifted around, at long last empty. “I’m… I’m so sorry,” he said. “The car…” 

“I already told you I wouldn’t be mad,” Adam said. “I know you didn’t want to do that. You didn’t have a choice, you were hurting yourself.” 

“I’m sorry…” Alex repeated. 

“Don’t be,” Adam said. “I did it too. We couldn’t help it. You know, the only reason your body makes you have an accident is to protect itself from damage. You hold too much for too long and you could get sick, when you have an accident that’s just your body trying to stay safe. It’s okay.” 

“But—“ 

“I care a LOT more about your health than I do about the car,” Adam said. “I don’t even really like this car that much, I’ve been wanting to replace it with an electric one.” 

“You’re gonna replace it just because I— Because we—“ 

“No,” Adam laughed. “I’m not going to be able to replace it any time soon, I’m just saying it’s not THAT important. Better we have to clean off the car a bit than we get sick, right?” 

“I—I guess,” Alex said. He squirmed again. “I want to shower…” 

“I do too,” Adam agreed. “Want to do that together?” 

Alex felt himself growing warm all over again. “Uh—Um… Y—Yes, please…” 

“Awww, there’s a smile!”

Link to comment

(This one gets a bit more explicit at the end.)

Alex was nervous. Adam had said it was time to get flu shots. Alex had never gotten a shot before— He’d never even been to a doctor before! The sort of… ‘community’ he grew up in didn’t believe in going to the doctor. Alex wasn’t so sure what to expect from this.

He did kind of have an idea how ‘shots’ worked; Adam gave himself a shot every week as part of his transition. Alex had always thought it looked super painful to get poked with a sharp thing like that. But, Alex hoped to begin physically transitioning someday soon as well, so figured he needed to get used to the idea of needles and injections. So, maybe a flu shot would be good practice for that? 

He just… He wasn’t sure what all happened when a person got the shot. Adam had said they were getting them at the pharmacy where he picked up his testosterone prescriptions, and where Alex would get his as well when that day finally came for him. Alex had gone to the pharmacy with Adam lots of times, but had never seen anyone getting a shot there. Adam promised him the doctors there knew what they were doing, and that he had nothing to worry about. 

So, Alex assumed that this was going to be like a doctor-visit. But, having never had one of those before, he still wasn’t quite sure what that would entail. “What all do they do while we’re there?” Alex asked. 

“Oh, it’s not that much,” Adam assured. “They do some preparatory stuff, give you the shot, and then it’s all over.” 

Alex had nodded, but realized later that the phrase ‘preparatory stuff’ was a little too vague. He didn’t want to come unprepared and cause Adam problems. So, he found some episodes from TV shows where a character visited a doctor. From there, he learned that he would have his height and weight measured, have some blood taken out with a different needle— An idea which was very scary for him— And he’d need to pee into a cup. 

When he found out about that last one, he was glad he actually had something he could aim with now. But, even if he was confident he didn’t have to worry about making a mess of himself when trying to fill the cup, he was still anxious about it. 

What if Alex didn’t have to go when it came time to use the cup? What if he could only get out a little dribble, and that wasn’t enough? And then, Adam had to wait around for Alex’s bladder to fill adequately? What if the doctors got annoyed with his poor performance? What if Alex messed everything up, and they ended up not being able to get their shots? 

He made a decision then. He would make extra sure his bladder had enough liquid inside of it to fill a cup. Tomorrow when they went to get their shots, Alex would skip his morning pee. Then, he would drink as much as he could. By the time they got to the pharmacy, he’d surely be so full of pee that he’d need more than just one cup to fit it all. 

That night, he and Adam got ready for bed. Adam brushed his teeth while Alex had what would be his final pee until some time tomorrow afternoon. Adam blushed as Alex stood and relieved himself right in front of him. There had been a lot of people in the house Alex had grown up in, privacy just wasn’t really a thing. Alex had even said once that if he or anyone else was in the restroom for too long, his Dad would just yank the door open and barge in to demand what they were doing. 

Adam had thought it was very strange that, considering their doctrine valued ‘modesty’ so much, Alex’s Dad would so flagrantly violate people’s right to basic privacy all the time. 

So, Alex was just used to peeing with others around him, it wasn’t a big deal. And, Adam assumed, now that he could go standing and didn’t have to take his pants all the way down, it felt even less like a big deal to let it flow with an audience. 

Alex peeing like that beside him as he brushed his teeth was having a bit of an effect on Adam’s bladder now. He normally kept the sink running while he brushed, but he flicked it off now… Not that it did much to remove the taunting sound of running water from the room and he began to shimmy a little in place. 

Alex had been made to hold it a lot in his past; He’d been locked up in rooms that lacked toilet facilities for long stretches of time, and the result was that he could hold an awful lot in. Adam brushed his teeth for two minutes, and it took Alex about that long to finish peeing. 

“Ahhh,” Alex exhaled as he put himself back away. “I needed that!” He tried not to think about just how bad he was gonna be needing it again tomorrow. 

Once Adam had relieved his own bladder, the two adjourned to their bedroom. Alex quickly reached beneath his shirt to unzip his binder, then immediately ducked under the covers. Adam remembered all the times he’d done the same thing; It was unhealthy to leave a binder on overnight, but having to look at what it was meant to conceal was hard. Someday, Alex would get to have surgery just like Adam had had, and he wouldn’t need to worry about it ever again. 

Adam slid into bed beside Alex and hugged him close. Alex had nightmares a lot, and Adam wanted to make sure that if it happened again tonight, he’d wake up within a comforting pair of arms. 

Morning dawned, and Alex woke to a brimming bladder. Most people usually woke up needing a pee, but for Alex he woke up most mornings just about dying for one. Other people, he knew, did not feel quite this desperate first thing in the morning. Back when he’d lived in that tiny house with tons of people and one restroom, he’d come dangerously close to accidents early in the morning multiple times. Some days, he actually did end up wetting himself as he bobbed up and down in line and begged his body to hold on just a little longer. 

Then, when his pee began to gush down his legs, he would have the sinking feeling that told him punishment was coming. 

But, today, Alex remembered he wasn’t going to have a morning pee. He had to save it for when they saw the doctor. And on top of that, he had to drink more water just to be extra safe. So, when Alex entered the restroom to get ready for the day, he forced himself to go right past the toilet he already really, really needed to use, and straight for the shower. 

Ever since he left the place from before, he’d been able to take warm showers. In the old place, the water was always ice cold by the time Alex got a chance to get in the tub. Warm water was much more relaxing… Except, it wasn’t very relaxing when you were trying to hold in a lot of pee! 

Both the sound of the gushing shower head and the sensation of warm liquid dripping down his body made Alex’s bladder begin to lurch and tremble. He had to cross his legs extra tight as he soaped his hair to keep everything inside where it belonged. He felt silly doing a pee dance in the shower— Everyone peed in the shower sometimes, didn’t they? But, he wasn’t trying to hold it to avoid an accident, he was trying to hold it so his appointment would go well! 

Once he was dried off and dressed, he opened the door to his squirmy boyfriend. He wondered if Adam was doing the same thing, trying to hold it so he would be sure and have enough pee in him to fill up a cup. But, when Adam re-emerged from the restroom several minutes later, all his fidgeting had ceased, his bladder clearly freshly emptied. 

Alex hoped Adam filled up again fast… 

Alex jiggled in his chair as he and Adam ate breakfast. His body protested loudly when he downed a couple glasses of water. It insisted that he was already too full, he shouldn’t put even more in! He knew that he had to, though. He would inconvenience everyone at the pharmacy otherwise. 

Alex was relieved their appointment was early in the day; Right after breakfast, it was time to go. Adam drove; Alex still didn’t have his license, and the idea of controlling a car frightened him to no end anyway. Even if Alex was legally able to drive, he wouldn’t have been physically capable of it today. His legs would have been too tightly crossed to be able to work the pedals. Every bump in the road sent an electrically charged knife through his bladder. He felt himself leak a couple times when Adam had needed to come to a sudden stop. 

Adam noticed Alex twisting around, as well as the panicked, pained look on his face. “Hey,” he said. “It’s no big deal. I know, needles look scary, but I promise it’s just a little pinch. It only lasts a couple seconds, and then it’s all over.” 

Adam frowned as Alex continued to tremble. “You’ll see, after it’s over you won’t even know why you were so scared. And, think of it this way; Once you know you can handle a shot, you’ll know you’ll be ready to take T.” 

Alex nodded. Adam had gotten him an appointment set up for hormone therapy soon; In a month, he’d be able to get the ball rolling on that. He’d have the deep voice, the muscle growth, the facial hair… Everything he’d wanted! 

Would he have to pee in a cup for that appointment, too? He hoped not, because this was really hard! Alex was already leaking so bad, no matter how tightly he clenched his thighs, the dribbles kept on coming. 

Adam parked the car and got out. Alex was shocked at how relaxed his partner looked, as surely he was holding back a huge ocean for the sake of the appointment too, wasn’t he? But, it didn’t look like he had to go at all! 

Alex gingerly stepped out and took hunched, cross-legged step after hunched, cross-legged step into the pharmacy. Adam directed him to an area in the back where chairs had been set up and told him they just had to wait there. A few minutes later, a lady came out and had them fill out some forms, then took those forms back into a different room. “See?” Adam asked. “They’re nice here.” 

Alex knocked his knees together and jiggled them; “A~And how long until I get to pee in the cup?” 

Adam stared at him for a few seconds. He blinked once. Twice. Three times. “Um… What?” 

“Because, on TV, when someone goes to the doctor, they have to pee in a cup?” Alex said, crossing and uncrossing his legs as his bladder screamed at him to just let it empty. “And, I hope that happens soon?” 

Adam shook his head, “Um… That usually happens at a physical, or if they’re checking to see if you’ve got certain diseases. You don’t pee in a cup when you get a flu shot.” 

“…Oh,” Alex said. “But—But you said they have to do preparatory stuff!” 

“I meant, like, filling out those forms, and swabbing your arm with alcohol, you don’t have to pee in anything!” Adam started to snort a laugh, but Alex interrupted him, rattling off how he’d deliberately skipped his morning pee and then drank a ton of water because he’d been worried he wouldn’t be able to fill the cup otherwise. Except, now there wasn’t gonna be a cup, and Alex’s poor, aching bladder just couldn’t handle that!

Adam was stunned when he heard all that, realizing that maybe Alex’s nervous shimmying hadn’t been due to a phobia of needles at all. “Okay,” he said. “The restrooms are right over there,” he gestured over his shoulder. “They’re single stall here, so you don’t have to worry about anybody being a jackass to you while you’re in there.” 

Alex began to scramble to his feet… But then, the door in the back opened, and the lady from before returned with a few syringes and cotton balls. He sat right back down and whimpered as his waistband dug into his bladder, prompting a few more leaky spurts. 

“Hey,” the lady said. “Ready?” 

“Almost, my friend just REALLY needs to go to the restroom first,” Adam explained. 

“This will be over in just a few minutes,” the lady said. 

Alex kept squirming up a storm in his chair. His legs actually managed to end up double-crossed. One knee went over the other, and his ankles twisted against one another. 

“He’s also super nervous,” Adam said. “He’s never gotten a shot before.” 

“Oh,” the lady said. “Well, it’s not a big deal. I won’t lie and say it isn’t gonna hurt, but it’s not bad. Which hand do you write with?” 

“R-Right," Alex managed to squeak out. “C—Could I go to the bathroom first?” 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “We have a tight schedule, but I promise it will only be a second. I’ll be fast, you aren’t the first person to get an upset stomach from the nerves.” 

Alex wanted to say that it was his bladder that was demanding release, not his intestines; But, then he’d have to explain the whole cup mix-up and he definitely didn’t want to do that. The woman rolled up the sleeve on Alex’s left arm and began patting it down in one place with the cotton ball. 

Alex kept bouncing in his seat. Would it really upset their schedule that much if he ran off and relieved himself for a couple minutes? “I really, really gotta—“

“Just a second,” she interrupted. “I’m very sorry. I’m not meaning to torture you.” She reached for the needle. “Now, you’re gonna feel a small pinch.” 

When the needle punctured his skin, Alex did feel a pinch. He felt two pinches, actually. One in his arm, and one a lot lower. His sphincters were failing him, and pee was beginning to hiss into his clothes. Whimpering, he shoved a hand against himself, pleading for the flow to stop. 

“All set,” the woman said after a moment. She stepped over to Adam. “Your turn.” 

Alex barely managed to force himself onto his feet, he could feel liquid beginning to run down between his thighs. He forced himself forward one step at a time, forced himself toward the restroom door and barreled through it. He didn’t have time to lock it, nor did he have time to fight with the button and zip of his shorts. Thankfully, they were so loose he could just tug them down. With barely enough time to ensure the cup of his prosthetic was properly positioned, a stream of liquid began to gush into the toilet bowl in front of him. 

He couldn’t control his flow at all, and felt the prosthetic getting dangerously full beneath him, and a few rivulets snaking down his legs as a result. He told himself that was okay, his clothes were bunched up around his ankles, so he wasn’t wetting them. Once he was able to restrain himself that extra little bit, allow his bladder to drain but not to drain so ferociously that it overflowed his prosthetic, he relaxed more. “Ahhhhhhhhhh…” 

He felt silly, peeing half-naked after getting so catastrophically desperate, all because of a ridiculous misunderstanding. But, he felt about twenty times more relief than he felt silliness. He didn’t have to fight his desperation any longer, he could just give in and let his body drain away for as long as it wanted. 

And, it seemed it was gonna want to do that for a very, very, very long time. He actually sort of started to feel the swelling in his midsection go down after about a minute, and it wasn’t until another full minute passed that he began to merely dribble rather than gush. A few more seconds of that, and he was done. He sighed loudly, the sound more or less echoing off the walls. That was better! 

He pulled his pants back up, washed his hands, and left to find Adam. “I’m sorry,” Adam said once they were reunited. 

Alex looked confused, “What for?” 

“I should have made sure you knew EXACTLY what to expect,” Adam said. “If I’d known you thought it was gonna be necessary to hold it like that, I would have said something.” 

“It’s okay, I should have asked you more questions when I got confused,” Alex said. “I just… I don’t like seeming like an idiot.” 

“You’re not an idiot,” Adam promised. “Just… Where you grew up; It didn’t prepare you at all for the world, and that’s not your fault.” 

“I know, but… I feel dumb all the time,” Alex said. 

“You shouldn’t…” Adam hugged him. “Made it okay?” 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “I overflowed my… my thing a little. I tried to go slow like you said to, but I just…” 

“Yeah, it’s not so easy to do that when you’re bursting,” Adam said. “But, that’s alright, your clothes still look dry.” 

Adam could tell Alex was still beating himself up over what had happened earlier, and thought he had something that may put him in better spirits. That night, he surprised Alex with two new prosthetics. These were different from the STPs they wore each day, and were meant for use in bed. 

Both of them loved spending the night together, but sexual activity had been difficult. They could kiss one another all over, and slip their hands down each other’s pants, but when they tried to go further, it started to feel wrong and disjointed and like they were coming away from their own bodies, instead of melding both of their bodies together. 

These prosthetics were called Pack and Plays, and were meant to help with that. A vibrator could be inserted inside the sheath, and a soft, textured piece of silicone could be added to the tip of the vibrator for added stimulation. Adam had tried his out already and could attest to how amazing the head attachment felt, especially with the vibrator turned on. And, the prosthetic looked so real that even with the lights on, he felt like he was just like any other guy stroking himself. And it even had a reservoir he could fill up with lube or water, so when he orgasmed he could squeeze down on it and actually feel like he was spurting cum. 

Adam had only gotten himself off with the prosthetic once, just to make sure it actually felt as good as the website he’d bought it from claimed. He wanted the next time to be with Alex. “But, if you aren’t ready,” Adam said. “I can wait, I won’t make you do something you’re not comfortable with.” 

Alex nodded. He thought he WAS ready. He wanted to know what it felt like to have Adam, and for Adam to have him, with none of the dissociation and discomfort that their birth anatomy caused them. Hearing Adam describe how he’d climaxed made Alex’s heart pound and caused heat to flood down, down through his body. He’d felt that build up of tingling warmth between his legs a few times during other nights he and Adam had touched each other, and sometimes when watching Adam shower, but it had never really… Gone anywhere. It would build and build and grow more intense, like an itch he was just dying to scratch, but then when it came time to lean into those feelings, they would fizzle out. Like an intense fire having an enormous bucket of cold water dumped on it. 

Maybe, this was what Alex needed to not lose that feeling, and to finally learn what lay on the other side of it. “I am ready,” he said. 

So, they tried it. It was uncomfortable for both of them to need to take off their STPs and switch to the pack and play, some of the mood was killed by the necessity to pause and do this, not to mention the dissociation it took to acknowledge that their genitalia was, in fact, detachable. 

“You’re sure you’re ready?” Adam asked. 

Alex nodded, heart thrumming in his ears. Adam looked… Wow. There was no other way to describe it. He had shed all of his clothing, and Alex was taking him all in. The hair on his chest and trailing down his stomach. The small scars beneath his nipples that made Alex think of him as a brave warrior that had triumphed so greatly. How firm his legs were… And now, between his legs, he sported a stiff cock that Alex now had the urge to put his lips around— And had he really just thought that?! He’d never had such… lewd thoughts before… But, there they were. 

The sight of Adam and the direction of his thoughts had made the heat between Alex’s legs intensify. His body was crying for attention and touches. He shimmied his hips, rocking forward and back on them and— Ohhhh, the head attachment on the vibrator that was poking into his body felt so, so good, even with the vibrator itself still off. Alex’s back arched as he felt the ribbed edges of the attachment stroking gently against his most sensitive parts. “Mmmm—!” 

Adam laughed, his own body starting to catch flame. “I haven’t even touched you yet and you’re already moaning?” 

“Touch me!” Alex begged. He wanted Adam to take control of him, to rub this magical, wonderful thing against him until… Until… Until whatever happened finally happened. 

“I will, I will,” Adam climbed into bed beside Alex. Alex had left his shirt on, understandably, his binder still zipped as well. Adam reminded himself not to touch too high up on Alex’s body, no matter how into this he found himself getting. Alex wouldn’t want Adam’s hand to brush against the wrong thing and bring him out of the moment. He noticed Alex was rocking forward and back and knew he must have been experiencing the pleasure of the ribbed attachment. “Want to feel even better?” 

Alex already didn’t think he’d ever felt anything as good as this. And now it could get even better? He nodded, and Adam reached to squeeze lightly on Alex’s prosthetic, turning the vibrator on as it emitted a quiet buzz. 

“Ohhhhhhh….” Alex moaned. He didn’t need to rock anymore for the prosthetic to stimulate him, but after a moment he couldn’t help it and did it anyway, wanting more and more. 

Adam stroked his hand up and down Alex’s shaft, “Let me know if I do anything wrong,” he said. 

“Mmmm, more, Adam…” Alex murmured. Adam’s motions were adding to the stimulation Alex already felt, making it more intense than ever. The thought that Adam was really rubbing his cock right now, that Alex HAD a cock that COULD be rubbed, only made it that much better. “Oooohhh…” 

‘Wow, he’s loud,” Adam thought. But, he didn’t mind. He liked loud. He liked knowing that this made Alex feel good. Adam got his own vibrator started and began to pump his own cock with his other hand, the sight and sound of Alex’s pleasure making Adam’s arousal almost painfully intense. 

Alex moaned continuously, he’d had no idea it was even possible for something to feel this good, to feel this right. His body was in ecstasy, and his mind was at such complete ease… He didn’t think he’d ever felt this comfortable inside his own skin. He and Adam were doing it, they were touching each other, making one another feel good, and not one part of it felt wrong or off or out of place. It was all right. All completely, totally right. The desperate, needy bucking of his hips never stopped, his moans turned into grunts and low squeals of pleasure. 

He was very, very close to something. He could feel it. A peak? Would it somehow get even better? Alex had no idea. He just knew that he liked this, and the feeling wasn’t fizzling out this time, it was doing the exact opposite. How far could it go? He wanted to know, he had to know. “Mnnnn, Adam…” He murmured, panting and gasping.

And then his thoughts suddenly became clouded and disjointed, his hips bucked so hard the bed began to squeak. The burning fire rose up, and— 

“Ooooh…. Oh, God! Adam! God!” The cry Alex let out trailed off into the air. A flurry of fluids drenched the sheets beneath him. For a moment, he grinded so roughly he thought he might turn to dust. But, almost as suddenly as it had began, the feeling started to fade. 

Adam was momentarily so stunned that Alex had actually just taken The Lord’s name in vain that he didn’t realize that he’d just managed to give his boyfriend what was almost certainly his first orgasm. When that finally did register, he increased the speed at which he was pumping his own cock, until breathlessly, Alex brushed Adam’s hand away and began to stroke him himself. “I… I want… You have to feel that…” he panted out, still trying to catch his breath. “Made me… Feel so good… You need to feel it…” He babbled on and on, barely making sense, but even so his words were having a profound effect on Adam. 

The litany of gasping, choked praise mixed with the physical sensation of Alex stimulating him, quickly brought Adam over the edge. He wasn’t as loud as Alex when he climaxed, but he was wracked with intense shakes and shivers that made him feel like he was falling deep into the bed. 

Then they both just laid there, breathing heavily. 

Finally, Alex got ahold of himself enough to speak. “So… So… That’s… What all the fuss is about?” 

Adam, managed a laugh through his gasps. “Yeah, that’s it.” 

“I… I liked that,” Alex said. “A lot. I… don’t think I would have with someone else. Is that normal?” 

“It’s good,” Adam said. “I wouldn’t have liked that as much with someone else either. That means that we both just did this with a person that we really love. And that’s the most important part.”

Link to comment

Adam was glad his Dad worked in the medical field. It meant that Adam knew that, no matter how he may have felt, he could not actually explode from needing to pee really badly. Then again, he would have learned that by now even if his Dad wasn’t a doctor; Because, if it was possible for someone to need to pee so bad that they exploded, Adam would have already done that an hour ago. 

He was astounded he was still holding on. Doubtless, he should have flooded his pants ages ago. And they’d deserve it, too. It was their fault that he had to go so badly to begin with! 

He’d gotten these awesome new Tripp pants with chains, rings and extra zippers all over them. He’d tried a pair on a few weeks ago at the mall just to see what they were like, and he’d never forget the way Alex stared, his mouth partially open as his cheeks reddened. Obviously, Alex liked the way they looked a lot… 

So, Adam had ordered a pair online, and had put them on today while Alex was off with his Mom and younger siblings. Adam had been excited to see Alex’s reaction when he came home and saw him wearing them… 

But, now Alex was going to come home and find Adam wearing them while drenched in pee. Because, the most important zipper on them just refused to budge. 

Even though he was home alone, Adam felt embarrassed by how much dancing he was doing. Every time he shifted his weight, crossed his legs or jumped in place, the chains on the pants would rattle noisily. It was like they were mocking him. It was bad enough that they’d prevented him from having a piss, now they were gonna make fun of him about it too. 

“Oh my God…” Adam groaned, doubling over on himself. “I need to peeeeeee!” The phrase felt like an understatement to him. ‘I need to pee’ did not even do the surging, agonizing frenzy in his bladder justice. He didn’t think there existed a phrase in the English language that could adequately describe the sheer scope of his need. 

He’d tried a few things to get the zipper down. He’d tried to force it apart with nail clippers. That didn’t work. He’d tried to rub vaseline on it as a lubricant. That didn’t work. He’d tried to yank it down using all his strength and brute force. That didn’t work. 

Finally, he’d tried the thing that Alex always did when he was stuck and needed help out of a jam. He prayed and begged God to send to him a miracle. 

Apparently, God only listened to Alex. 

So, that was why Adam was going to piss his new pants the very first time he’d ever worn them. His surprise for Alex was going to be ruined. And, despite all medical consensus on the matter, he probably really was actually going to explode. 

He wasn’t even sure why he was still bothering to hold it. It was a foregone conclusion that he was going to have an accident. All he was doing was prolonging the inevitable and putting himself through unnecessary agony trying to force his pee to stay inside his body. He’d never had to go this bad in his entire life, and he’d been desperate lots of times before. It felt like he had to piss even more than he had a few weeks ago when he’d had an accident in the car! 

The worst part was that the door to the restroom was visible. The room he’d emptied his bladder in tons and tons of times was right there, and it just couldn’t understand why he hadn’t brought it there yet. The view of the door was toying with his bladder, making it lurch and scream out of control. His legs were crossed so tightly together he felt his feet going numb from the lack of blood flow. He doubled over like he was suffering the most intense food poisoning of his life. “I can’t hold it…” he winced out. “I can’t hold it… I can’t hold it…” 

But, still, he did hold it. Even when he knew that wetting himself was inevitable, consciously telling himself to just get it over with wasn’t easy. As much as his bladder wanted release, it still understood that he wasn’t supposed to do it in his clothes. He’d had countless leaks over the last hour, but the full-blown gush he needed to let out still wouldn’t come. 

He heard the front door opening and cringed. He really wished he’d managed to soak himself before Alex had gotten home… He didn’t want to do it in front of him.
He heard the door shutting and Alex walking into the room. He got to see Alex’s reaction alright… But, it wasn’t the blushing, drooling “Oh, gosh, you got those pants… You look so good…” reaction that Adam had wanted. 

Instead, Alex had only noticed the pain and suffering on his face and the way he was curled over on himself in clear anguish. He rushed over in concern. “Oh my goodness, Adam! Are you okay?” 

“I need to pee!” Adam cried out, which again was a shocking understatement. 

Alex stared at him in confusion. “Then pee?” 

“The zipper is stuck!” Adam said urgently. “I can’t get it down, and I have to go so bad, and I’m gonna piss my pants if I don’t—“ 

“Oh,” Alex said. Ordinarily, he would have scolded Adam for the use of the word ‘piss’, but not today. Not right now. Not when his boyfriend was so miserable. “Let me try.” 

Adam turned to Alex, removing his hands from between his thighs— He hadn’t even noticed himself putting them there! “Please…” He begged. 

“It’s okay,” Alex said. “I’ll help. And… If you… If you can’t wait, that’s okay too.” 

Adam whimpered. He really hoped he could wait… He didn’t want to pee himself in front of Alex. He didn’t want to pee himself while Alex’s hands were over his crotch and bound to get wet.

Alex knelt down, then looked over the zipper, frowning. “Hmmm… I don’t… Oh!” He stood abruptly and ran off. 

Adam’s hands went back between his legs as he jumped up and down. “I thought you were gonna help!” 

“I am, I just gotta get something,” Alex said. He returned quickly, holding a pencil. 

Adam was confused, then Alex began rubbing the pencil lead over the zipper. After a few seconds of that…

Adam had a passion for music. He loved rock bands, he loved power ballads, he loved every kind of music. 

But, the most beautiful sound he’d ever heard was that of the zipper finally, finally coming down. 

The worst sound that he’d ever heard was the hissing that immediately followed it. 

The minute he’d registered that his zipper was down, his bladder had decided that enough was enough and proceeded to dump out all of its contents right then and there. Adam jumped in place, grinding his thighs together and mentally screaming at himself to run to the restroom, to at least get SOME of it into the toilet, but he couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t do anything other than just continue to pee. 

He’d never felt anything like this before. He was completely out of control. No matter how hard he tried to tighten his muscles back up, his stream just kept gushing with uncontainable fervor. It cascaded down his legs in wide rivulets, soaking the pants completely and making the material cling to his skin. 

Finally, he realized how good it felt. It shouldn’t have felt good; He was having a total accident in front of his boyfriend and ruining his brand new pants. But, he’d been in so much pain for so long, having it all flow away little by little, having his straining, bloated bladder gradually ease back down to its proper size… It felt really, really good. It felt good enough that he groaned, even as a furious blush spread across his face. “Ohhh…” 

Alex had stepped back as soon as Adam had lost control over his bladder. He didn’t want to leave the room, certain Adam was going to need to be comforted after this, but he didn’t know where to look. He felt it awful rude to stand there and stare as his partner peed his pants, but he couldn’t look away. As the hissing continued and the puddle at Adam’s feet spread further and further, Alex’s chest started to hurt. Poor Adam must have been in agony holding so much. 

It took almost two minutes for Adam’s flow to stop, and then he just hunched over and tried to catch his breath. “Oh my God…” he whimpered as buckets of shame fell onto his shoulders, weighing him down. 

Alex came to his side. Normally, he would tell Adam not to take the Lord’s name in vain, but this time it was more than understandable. “Adam, it’s okay…” he said, remembering things he’d told his younger siblings after they’d wet themselves. “You just had to go. Accidents happen.” 

“I wanted to surprise you with the pants,” Adam said. 

‘You kinda did,’ Alex thought, but knew that wasn’t the right thing to say. “I do like them,” he said. “They can be washed, they’re black so they won’t stain very easily. Everything’s okay, we just have to clean up.” 

Adam finally looked up, “I’m sorry,” he said. 

“It’s okay,” Alex repeated. “This isn’t your fault. You didn’t have any way to go, it had to come out.” He hugged Adam, not caring that he was still wet. “Don’t feel bad…” 

“Thank you,” Adam said.

Link to comment

Adam was surprised that Alex actually knew how to swim. He tried not to let it show, but apparently it was obvious. “There was that lake by my old house,” Alex said. “Sometimes, we’d go there and swim. Papa taught me, and then I had to teach the little ones.” 

“So, would you like to go to a waterpark?” Adam asked. “It’s like a theme park, but with swimming pools and waterslides and stuff.” 

“That sounds fun,” Alex said. “But, how do I…” He looked down. He knew he couldn’t wear a regular guy’s swimsuit, his chest still needed to be fixed for that. He definitely didn’t want to wear a women’s swimsuit, something that would emphasize the parts of his body he wanted to leave more concealed. At his old home, when he’d swam in the lake, he’d just worn his regular clothes, but he was pretty sure that that wouldn’t fly at a waterpark, and he didn’t think his chest binder would work so well if it was wet anyway. And, he was worried he’d get hurt leaving it on while doing something so active; especially something that caused him to hold his breath. 

“There are binders made for swimming,” Adam said. “Put it on under a shirt and wear some trunks.” 

“Is it okay to wear a shirt?” Alex asked. “Won’t it look weird?” 

“No,” Adam said. “Lots of cis guys swim with shirts on; If anybody asks, you can say that you have a really freaky looking scar that you want to hide, but I doubt anyone will care.” 

The mention of scars made Alex ask; “Are you gonna wear a shirt?” Adam had had top surgery, and the scars remained visible; Distinct lines beneath his nipples. 

“Would that make you feel less alone?” 

“No, I mean, what if somebody asks about your scars?” 

“Wanna know how I got these scars?” Adam asked, putting on a weird voice. 

“Huh? I… I already know where they’re from,” Alex said. 

“Oh, no,” Adam said, once again being reminded of just how little popular culture Alex had ever been exposed to. Apart from being permitted to read the Narnia series, Alex had missed out on most of the franchises Adam had grown up with. “I meant… It’s… It’s from a movie. Never mind.” 

“Oh,” Alex said. “But, what if somebody DOES ask about them, won’t that be bad?” 

“I can just say that it’s from a surgery,” Adam said. “I don’t HAVE to tell anyone what kind of surgery it was if I don’t want to.” 

The next week, Adam drove Alex down to the local waterpark. “It’s going to be crowded here,” he said. “So stick close to me, and if it’s too much you just need to tell me, alright?” 

Alex nodded, but he didn’t think it would be too much. He was starting to feel less scared in big crowds, he was getting used to seeing strangers and hearing unfamiliar voices. He was pretty sure he’d have fun here, he’d enjoyed the rides at the state fair a lot, after all. 

Once they were in the park, Alex had to admit he was a little on edge. This was one of the most crowded places he’d ever been in, and he took Adam’s hand apprehensively, trying to ground himself. 

Adam squeezed his hand back, “You’re okay,” he said. “I’m here.” 

Alex tried to take deep breaths. He reminded himself that the things he’d been taught at his old place, that those who didn’t belong to his family’s group were outsiders, and that outsiders were corrupt, evil and looking to hurt him, had all been lies. He felt better when Adam started to caress his hand. Adam had never belonged to Alex’s family’s group, and he wasn’t the least bit evil. 

Adam decided to take Alex on his favorite water slide first. There was a line, but it wasn’t super long. It felt long to Alex, though. It was so hot today, the swim binder was thick and the added layer of his shirt on top of it made it worse. He could feel sweat rolling down his back and front, getting caught in between the binder and his skin. It made him itchy. It made him so itchy he wished he had claws like a cat’s so he could give his skin a good, hard scratching. It was very hard to scratch himself through the binder, and as he kept trying, he grew worried that his actions would look strange to anyone watching. 

Adam was so lucky he’d had his chest fixed already. He didn’t have to wear a thing that made him sweaty and itchy and made it so, so hard to scratch. His chest and back could be bare, he could be nice and cool and comfortable. Alex normally didn’t mind having to wear a binder, often he forgot it was even there, but now as it trapped buckets of sweat against his irritated skin, he minded it a lot. 

Adam noticed Alex fidgeting and wavering his hands about around his chest. He was about to ask what was bothering him, when he remembered his least favorite part of the Summer months before his top surgery. “Once we’re on the ride, you’ll be good and cooled off,” Adam said. “It will feel a lot better then.” 

“I want to get ‘it’ fixed soon,” Alex said, still trying to dig his nails against his back enough to scratch the unbearable tingling underneath his skin. 

“You will,” Adam said, he lowered his voice to a whisper, mindful of the other people in the line. “You’re taking hormones now, you’re seeing the doctors you need to be seeing, that’s the first step. You’ll get surgery soon now, I promise.” 

For the next half hour, Alex stood in line with Adam, and endured the oppressive heat beating down on him making him sweat even more buckets, endured the awful prickly tickle flaring just below the surface of his skin, hoped that Adam was right and that the nice, cool water on the ride would make it feel better. 

To his immense relief, the water was like magic. It chilled his overheating body, and soaked him through enough that his skin no longer felt so irritated. Even after the ride had ended and he wasn’t in the water anymore, Alex had gotten damp enough that he still felt significantly cooler. 

“Better?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah,” Alex said. “What can we go on next?” 

Adam smiled, he was glad Alex was excited again now. He must have been feeling worlds better. “First,” he said. “We need to get you something to drink. You’re probably pretty dehydrated now.” 

Alex was disappointed that they were taking a break from the fun already, but when his senses jumped at the water in his mouth, the refreshing way it pooled on his tongue and cascaded down his throat, he had to admit Adam was right. He’d been really, really thirsty. He finished one bottle of water and still felt the scratchy, sand-papery feeling in his throat, so he asked for another. After draining the second bottle of every last drop and tossing them both into a recycling bin, Alex again asked what ride they could go on next. 

So, Adam took Alex to the line for another slide he’d always enjoyed. This line was less painful for Alex, now that he was damp and hydrated, the Summer heat wasn’t all that intense anymore. They went on several more rides, and between each one Adam would remind Alex to rehydrate. Since Alex was having so much fun, he didn’t even realize the effect all the beverages mixed with the constant sound of running water had taken until it got so intense it was suddenly the only thing he could think about. 

It hit him while they were on a lazy river styled ride. Alex had been resting in his tube when suddenly his bladder sent a very harsh, urgent signal. It kind of startled him. He knew he must have been needing to go for a while for the spasms to be so intense, but he honestly hadn’t even noticed. Now though, he couldn’t NOT notice it. He had to get himself to a restroom as soon as possible. All that water had decided that it was time to check out. 

But, the ride was slow, and he didn’t know how much further it was to the exit. Adam was beside him though, and he’d been here lots of times, so Alex asked him. 

“I think it’s about ten more minutes until we’re at the end,” Adam said. “Why? Is this one boring?” 

“No, I just need the restroom,” Alex whispered, unable to hide the desperation in his voice. Come to think of it, he was pretty confused as to why Adam wasn’t getting squirmy yet himself, they’d both had the same amount of drinks… 

Adam didn’t reply for a second, then he shrugged. “I’ll find you one as soon as we’re out,” he said. “Don’t worry.” 

“Okay,” Alex said, another twinge from between his legs making him tense up his thighs. Now that he was aware that he had to pee, it was quickly building into a serious emergency. He could feel himself growing more desperate with each second that ticked by, the sound of water sloshing all around him wasn’t helping his situation at all, it was only causing the torrent of urine to knock against his dam with even more fury. It wasn’t very easy to squirm while stuck in an inner-tube, and after a few more minutes of rapidly increasing urgency, Alex let out a feeble whine in the back of his throat. 

After what seemed like an eternity of sluggish movement, they had reached the exit of the ride. Alex was the first to spring onto dry land, where he immediately began bouncing on his feet and looking around every which way. 

Adam calmly joined him, noting his boyfriend’s antsy motions. His hands were balled into fists at his side as he tapped first one foot and then the other, before jumping back and forth between them. Adam was a little perplexed by it, honestly. “If it’s THAT bad, why didn’t you just—“ 

“Adam, where are the restrooms?” Alex asked. He hoped they were close. He wasn’t sure he even had ten minutes to spare before his bladder gave up and released his flood. 

“There’s one close by,” Adam assured. “Come on, I’ll take you.” 

Alex followed after Adam and felt immense joy when they passed a sign pointing in the direction of the restrooms. They were close! He’d make it! He picked up his pace. He was going to have to use a stall, his swimming trunks didn’t have a zipper and pulling his prosthetic out over the waistband of them didn’t work; He’d end up having to pull it too far out from underneath him, causing leakage as his urethra was no longer over the funnel. And, no way was he pulling the trunks all the way down to use a urinal. 

That wasn’t a big deal, though. Alex was already imagining himself bursting through a stall door, yanking down his trunks and taking aim, allowing his body to finally do what it had to do. 

Alex’s joy perished after throwing itself off a thirty story building when he got into the restroom, however. There was only one stall, it was taken, and there were three people in line ahead of him. He scurried to the back of the line, grinding his teeth together, wanting to beg to be allowed to cut to the front of the line when another twinge of his bladder told him he couldn’t handle the wait; No way could he last long enough for FOUR people to finish up in the stall before his sphincter gave up and surrendered to the demands of his bladder. 

He could picture it so clearly; Frozen at the back of the line as his body waved the white flag and a stream of pale yellow liquid trickled down his legs and dripped to the floor beneath him against his will. Everyone would see Alex standing there in clothes that were no longer only wet from pool water. Adam would be disgusted, probably. They’d have to leave. He would have ruined the entire day just because he’d been unable to register his body’s needs until it was too late. 

‘Oh, please, no!’ Alex mentally begged, knowing he had about two minutes before the ticking time bomb that was his bladder finally exploded. And still the line hadn’t moved! He jumped in place, he shifted his weight, he internally begged for the person in the stall to hurry up, but nothing worked. The line stayed at a stand-still, and Alex’s bladder seemed to only pinch at him with even more fury. 

The worst part was that he could hear the urinals being used. He could hear streams hitting porcelain, he could hear the rush of water as they were flushed. He could hear the sinks pouring too. And each of these sounds sent harsher and harsher pangs through his overburdened bladder. It activated some kind of fight or flight response in him, and he began to seriously consider going to the urinal and taking his trunks down all the way, asking Adam to stand directly behind him in order to block the view…

“Alex,” Adam whispered. “I don’t think you can make it through this line, why don’t you just—“ 

“I have to!” Alex whimpered. 

“You can’t. It’s been, like, five minutes, and it hasn’t moved.” 

Alex moaned in the back of his throat, using his hands to help push his thighs even tighter together. He didn’t want to admit that Adam was right, because he didn’t want to admit that he was going to have an accident. He didn’t know where the next nearest restroom was, but he was positive he couldn’t make it there in time. And, even if he did, what if there was another line? He couldn’t handle it. He had to go right this second! 

“Alex, why don’t you just go in one of the pools?” Adam asked softly. “I don’t get it, if it’s THAT bad, why didn’t you just do it while we were in the lazy river?” 

Adam couldn’t be serious. Alex couldn’t do THAT! He knew exactly what would happen if he did! He saw it on TV once; Swimming pools all had a special dye in them that only became visible once the water made contact with urine. If Alex peed in the water, the dye would activate. Everyone would know right away that Alex was peeing. He’d get into loads of trouble. He and Adam may even be banned from the park! He couldn’t do that! Didn’t Adam know about the special dye? Adam was supposed to know everything! Why was he teasing him like this, offering a method for relief that he knew was off-limits?

Alex shook his head back and forth, scrunching his eyes shut as the most intense spasm of his life wormed through his bladder. He had to use every bit of strength he had not to pee right then and there. A few seconds later, and Alex felt a little more in control again, but then the wicked, awful pangs returned. 

“Alex, seriously,” Adam said. “Just go in the water.” 

“What about the dye?” Alex asked, stepping frantically in place. 

“The… Oh!” Adam said in realization. “You’re talking about…That’s a really old urban legend. That doesn’t actually happen anywhere.” 

“How can you know?” 

“Because, I peed when we were in the lazy river, and nothing bad happened,” Adam said. “You can pee in the water too, it will be fine.” 

Alex’s face was still scrunched up. He supposed he had to believe Adam; It was the only thing that could possibly explain why Adam wasn’t also jumping around and out of his mind with desperation after having so much water. He nodded. “Okay, I’ll do it.” 

Adam took Alex by the arm, noting the constant tension now present in his muscles, and led him from the restroom. Alex had to ignore the confused throbs from his bladder as he left the room without letting it empty at any point. “Hurry, hurry, hurry…” Alex muttered under his breath as he followed Adam towards the wave pool that now promised him mind-breaking relief. 

When the water began lapping at his feet, Alex felt like he was gonna lose it. He had to tighten practically every muscle in his body to make it a few more steps until he was deep enough that the water covered him up to the waist. He looked to his side at Adam, eyes watering and a silent plea on his lips. 

Adam nodded, and Alex felt more confident that this was actually an okay thing to do. He at last gave his body permission to ease some of its tension. 

What followed was a very weird sensation. He felt his bladder starting to deflate, felt his muscles going slack and relaxed, felt himself peeing very, very forcefully after so much agonizing desperation, but he also felt warmth and heat building up around his body. And, he didn’t hear his urine splashing into a toilet bowl or urinal. It felt strange to be peeing so hard and yet have it be totally silent. It felt strange to be peeing in such a public location, there were loads of other people in the pool, and it made Alex’s heart pound as he realized he was taking an enormous leak in front of all of them. 

But, then he realized that since his pee wasn’t making a sound, and when he looked down the water was unchanged, nobody could actually tell that he was going. And, when he felt more secure about that, the relief of his release took over. “Ahhhh…” Alex breathed out as the awful pressure in his middle began to fade away. His eyes drooped shut, his head tipped back, and his mouth dropped open with another blissful sigh. 

Adam jumped at Alex’s first exhalation, and began to redden as his boyfriend kept on groaning. ‘Oh, God… Could he be any MORE obvious about it!?’ he thought. Adam looked to his side at Alex and discovered that, yes, he could in fact manage to make the fact he was pissing like a firehose into the pool even more blatant to everyone around them. His face was totally glazed over, the picture of relief. Mixed with the noises pouring from his mouth, it was clear as day that Alex was peeing… 

Adam remembered the pee he’d had on the lazy river ride; Yes, he’d had to go pretty bad, and it had felt really good to let it out, but he’d kept his jaw tight to keep from making a sound. He’d concentrated very hard on pretending he was just admiring the flowers that surrounded the ride. He’d done everything he could to NOT look and sound like he was relieving himself. 

Alex, however… People were either going to KNOW he was peeing, or think he had a very unusual and specific fetish for wave pools. Adam wasn’t sure which was worse. “Alex, sweet thing,” Adam said with a nervous laugh. “Shhh…” 

Alex was too lost in the haze of his relief to realize Adam was talking to him. He was beginning to think his pee would never end. He’d have to live in the wave pool forever, and have Adam bring him food and drinks as he peed out a never ending stream. It did stop eventually, and Alex shivered intensely with yet another deep sigh of relief. “Ahhhh…” His eyes slowly peeled open, and he noticed how red Adam was. He panicked and looked down, certain that Adam had been wrong and there really WAS colored dye in the pool, and now everyone knew Alex had peed, and— “What’s the matter?” he asked. “There’s no dye! Nobody can tell!” 

Adam covered his mouth with a hand. He wanted to ask Alex “Do you have ANY idea how loudly you were sighing!?” but didn’t want to make him feel ashamed, not after Adam had been the one to convince him to do that in the first place. If nobody else said anything about Alex’s noises and facial expressions— not to mention his full-blown pee-shiver— then Adam wouldn’t either. “Um… Yeah. Sure. Nobody could tell.”

Link to comment

Alex had always been abnormally short. Adam was about the same height as Alex, but Alex was nowhere near as bothered by being small as Adam was. For Adam, being short was a major source of anxiety and stress, it made him feel inadequate and lesser than other guys. For Alex, being short was simply just a part of who he was. 

Alex had tried to help Adam feel better about his height many, many times before. “You can’t change it,” he’d reminded. “And, there wasn’t anything you did that made you short, it’s just how you are.” 

Adam knew that, of course. Being short wasn’t his fault, he couldn’t have controlled it. But, when he got into moods where he couldn’t stop comparing himself to cisgender men, his height was always something that hurt him the most. 

“Lots of cis men are short,” Alex would say. “Your Dad is short and it doesn’t make him any less of a man.” 

“I know, but—“ 

“There is a prayer I like,” Alex said. “It goes like this; God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.” 

“Isn’t that from Alcoholics Anonymous?” Adam asked. “We don’t dri—“ 

“Yes, they use it,” Alex said. “But, it doesn’t have to only be about addiction, it can be about other things. You can’t change your height, you can just work to change how it makes you feel. But, there are lots of things you can change, lots of things you have changed, and that’s taken so much strength. You should be proud.” 

“Thanks,” Adam said, pulling Alex in for a kiss. “You’ve been really brave, too.” 

Alex shrugged. He didn’t think he was as brave as Adam. He still hadn’t gotten surgery like Adam had, or gotten hormones. He’d never been to a doctor for anything before, and it scared him. He’d been told his whole life that doctors were dangerous and not to be trusted. He’d been in a hospital once now when something had happened with his Mom, and the doctors there had all been nice, but still… “I’m not that brave,” he said. 

“Of course you are,” Adam said. “You left behind everything you knew so you could live as yourself. That’s the bravest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do.” 

A few days later, Adam announced that he’d found a solution to his height problem. He’d bought a pair of shoes with very high raised platforms. When he had them on, he looked three inches taller. He’d bought a pair for Alex as well, but Alex quickly discovered that walking on those things wasn’t as easy as Adam made it look. Alex would lose his balance easily, and he found the shoes pretty uncomfortable as well, they felt weirdly heavy. Since he didn’t care about his height the same way Adam did, he didn’t really bother with the clumsy, stilt-shoes. 

One evening that month, Adam was invited by his Dad to a fancy dinner where he was going to deliver a speech. Adam’s Dad was a doctor— The first doctor not to make Alex feel scared— and had been asked to speak on a topic to several of his colleagues. The dinner was going to be held at a very upscale restaurant that was located in the top floor of a ritzy hotel. Adam thought this would be a good night to show off his new shoes and the extra height they granted him. He asked if Alex wanted to wear his, but Alex shook his head. 

“I still can’t figure out how to walk in those things!” Alex said. “I don’t mind if I look shorter than you tonight.” Instead, Alex chose to wear the dress shoes he wore to church. These were nice and flat, they didn’t pinch his toes or weigh him down. 

Alex had no idea that the hotel was very far away from his and Adam’s home. If he’d known, he wouldn’t have had so much water before they’d left. Because, after the drive all the way across the city, getting stuck in traffic a couple times, waiting as Adam found a vacant space in the parking garage that wasn’t reserved, shuffling through the hotel’s lobby and riding the elevator all the way to the top floor… Alex’s bladder needed some very serious emptying. 

As the elevator doors pinged open and Alex took in the scene before him, he realized that blurting out “Adam, I have to use the restroom now!” would be entirely inappropriate. Everyone was dressed in black suits or dresses, speaking very softly to one another and plucking hors d’oeuvres from gilded trays that were being carried around by servants. Sparkling beverages were being poured from expensive looking bottles into very expensive looking glasses. 

Alex tried very, very hard not to look at that last thing, rubbing his thighs together. He felt a little under-dressed now. He’d worn his fanciest clothes, the suit he’d picked out for church on Easter Sunday, but it looked totally inadequate alongside what everyone else was wearing. A twinge from his bladder informed him that he may end up looking a lot more inadequate by the night’s end. A wet spot on his nowhere-near-fancy-enough suit pants would be inexcusable. 

He craned his neck around, seeking out the toilets, but he had a feeling a place like this would keep the all important restrooms tucked somewhere out of the way where they wouldn’t be easily noticed. As he and Adam were led to their places, Alex kept looking, but still failed to find any sign that directed him to where he needed to go. As soon as he’d sat down, someone started to pour sparkling water into the glass in front of him. 
Alex stared as the water drizzled and flowed into the glass, shimmering in the muted light of the restaurant. He tried not to bounce in his seat as his ears registered the gentle tinkling sound the liquid made. He didn’t want to be rude to the employee who’d just filled the glass, so he raised it to his lips and took a hesitant sip. 

He’d never had anything carbonated before. It felt funny on his lips and tongue, but not in a bad way. It didn’t taste like normal water, either. It had a really faint hint of a lemony flavor. Like lemonade, but a lot less sugary. He liked it. But, when he swallowed, he felt his middle swell as if it had gone straight from his throat to his bladder in no time at all. 

Alex made himself hold on until someone had come to take their dinner orders. Adam ordered for him. Alex had no idea what half the items on the menu even were, and couldn’t even really concentrate enough to read the descriptions when all he could focus on was his poor bladder. He just hoped that ‘Focaccia bread’ ‘Pasta Con Pomodoro E Basilico’ and ‘Calamari’ were things he’d end up liking. He at least knew what ‘pasta’ and ‘bread’ were, of course, but he had no idea what the rest of those words meant. 

Noticing Alex’s confused look, Adam said; “That’s just Italian. It means pasta with tomato and basil sauce. You’ll like that. Focaccia bread’s kinda like a pizza crust, and the calamari is fried squid.” 

“Squid?” Alex repeated. “People eat squid?” 

Adam looked at Alex for a moment. He knew that when Alex lived in his old home, he’d eaten squirrel once. Squid really shouldn’t have seemed so unusual to him… “Yeah, it’s really good, you’ll like it,” Adam said. “I promise. It’s really good if you squeeze a little lemon juice on it and dip it in marinara sauce.” 

Alex had liked the lemon flavoring in the sparkly water… And he was just starting to realize he’d finished off his entire glass of it, too. What a stupid thing to do! How could he have willingly put another glass of water into his body when he still hadn’t peed? He crossed his legs and let his toes tap against the floor. He looked around for a few seconds, still not seeing where the restroom was. Then, he turned to Adam; “Um… Adam?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I…” Alex lowered his voice even more, trying to decide what the most polite, fancy, sophisticated way to say this would be. “Um…” He wriggled in his chair. “I need to relieve my bladder very urgently.” 

Yes, Alex decided. That sounded very sophisticated. 

But Adam shut his eyes and snorted a laugh through his nose. “WHY would you say it like— Never mind, I’m sorry,” he shook his head. “I guess that was a long drive… Come on,” he said. He stood and Alex followed. Adam being taller than him did feel at least a little strange to Alex, but that was just because he wasn’t used to it. It felt weird. 

Alex hoped Adam knew exactly where the toilets were here, because standing up and moving around was making the liquid inside him roll and slosh with ever increasing neediness. But, as Adam looked back and forth and stood in one place uncertainly, Alex knew Adam didn’t have a clue where the restroom was, either. 

Alex crossed his legs and swayed his fists near his sides. He was grateful he hadn’t worn big, heavy shoes like Adam had. It would be really hard to pull off a very helpful pee dance if he could barely maintain his balance just trying to walk in a straight line. Not that the pee dance Alex was doing was helping him all that much. He needed to really writhe, and to hold himself, to bounce up and down… But he didn’t dare do such a thing in his current surroundings. 

Adam took Alex’s wrist and began to lead him off. “Found it,” he said. “Man, they really want to keep these things hidden!” The restrooms were in the very back of the large dining room, their signs concealed behind tall potted plants. “Would it really wreck the atmosphere so much to have visible toilet signs?” he asked. “I think it would be way worse if people kept wetting their pants because they couldn’t find the—“ 

“Adam!” Alex whined out, now tugging at his shirt collar with both hands to keep them from going between his legs instead. 

“Okay,” Adam said. “I know, I’ll come with you and keep you safe…” 

They entered the restroom, and Alex fought not to tease Adam when he saw how quickly he got himself in front of a urinal. Evidently, his partner had been waiting for this through most of the drive as well. 

Alex eagerly headed for the urinal next to Adam’s, and… 

It was too high up. 

Alex’s STP may have been a wonderful thing, but defying gravity was not one of the things it was capable of. Urine could only flow down through it, not up. If he tried to aim his stream upwards so that it would actually go into that urinal, it just wouldn’t work. He’d make a mess of himself and the floor. 

Alex released his zipper before he’d even pulled it down. This… Happened sometimes. Sometimes the urinal was just too high up on the wall, and he’d have to pee in a stall instead. It was never a big problem unless there was a line for the stall. But, that wasn’t an issue here. He simply stepped away from the urinal as he heard Adam zipping up. “What’s the matter?” Adam asked. 

“Can’t reach,” Alex said, feeling a little embarrassed as he made his way to a stall and pushed the door open. 

It took Alex’s desperate, waterlogged brain a few seconds to process what he was actually looking at. At the other end of the stall was what appeared to be a square, black trash can, the kind that people kept in their kitchens and had lids that opened by pressing down on a foot pedal. But, there wasn’t a foot pedal. It was raised up from the floor slightly and the space below it glowed slightly. It was a weird shape and color for a toilet, and Alex had certainly never seen one that lit up, but it still must have been a toilet, and Alex was dying to use it. He rushed towards it and gripped the edge of the lid, trying to pull it up as he would with any other toilet. 

But, it didn’t budge. 

Alex uncrossed his legs, only to hook them back around each other the other way. Even if his brain was having a difficult time processing that this weird, lighted cube thing was a toilet, his bladder had no qualms with accepting that it was. It did not, however, accept that Alex couldn’t get the lid to come up. 

He tried again to raise it, his thighs straining together. He couldn’t understand what the problem was. The thing was just sealed shut! It felt like he was attempting to pry open a locked briefcase. For a second he thought maybe that was the issue, he had to put some kind of passcode into the toilet to get it to open up for him. He didn’t see any combination lock attached to it, though. He frowned, and settled upon a more likely explanation; A prankster had superglued the lid down. 

Perhaps the other stall wouldn’t be like that. He exited the first one and, ignoring Adam’s confused look, hurried into the second stall. He was met with the same weird cube toilet, and he groaned when he saw that its lid was down too. Shakily, he tried to lift it up, but this one wouldn’t budge either. 

Time for a different plan. 

Whenever Alex didn’t understand something, Adam would usually have the answer. Alex didn’t understand why the toilet wouldn’t open, so Adam would explain to him what he had to do. It was probably something really simple and obvious that he’d missed. Like, this was a special, fancy, sci-fi rich person’s toilet. So, maybe he was supposed to just pee right onto the lid and the special, fancy, sci-fi rich person technology would make it evaporate right away. Or. Something. 

Alex was pretty sure THAT wasn’t the answer, but he really, really didn’t think too well when he had to pee so badly. He left the stall, now even more hunched over than before. His bladder pinched against him, it squeezed its way down and tried to force its way through his clenched sphincters. 

Adam was confused. He didn’t understand why Alex had ducked out of the first stall like that, as he doubted a place like this would let the restrooms become too filthy. Adam hadn’t heard Alex’s stream hitting the toilet water at any point, and clearly he still had to go… Before Alex said anything, he groped for an explanation. This didn’t happen to Alex often, but… “Did you have a little stage fright?” Adam guessed. “I know, fancy places make me a little nervous too, I can turn the sink on for y—“ 

“I can’t get the toilet open!” Alex blurted, shaking and pressing his thighs together. He couldn’t stop staring at the urinals behind Adam. They were such an immense tease on his bladder. The knowledge that he’d be able to let go right this second if he was just a couple inches taller was like a punch to the gut, directly into his swollen bladder. 

Adam stared for a moment, uncomprehending. “Uh… What?” 

“I can’t get it open,” Alex repeated. “Please show me how?” 

“Um, okay…” Adam said. He followed Alex into a stall. Like Alex, he was a little confused by the odd shape of the toilet, and by the unusual neon lighting beneath it. “I… Guess it looks kinda weird,” Adam said. “But, you’d still just…” He reached to open the lid, and… It didn’t move. “Er… Alright…” he said softly. He tried again. And again. “I’ve been on T for two years,” he said. “I know I’m strong enough to open a toilet lid!” 

Alex knew Adam was trying to make him laugh, but he just wasn’t in a laughing mood. His bladder was thrashing even more violently now that it looked as though Adam didn’t have all the answers after all! If even Adam couldn’t help him pee, then how would he pee at all? He whimpered a little, “Adam… It’s… An emergency,” he said. He was seriously starting to consider bolting from the room and to one of the potted plants just outside the door. If he wasn’t so afraid of being caught, he’d have no qualms about ‘watering’ those things in a serious way! 

“I know it is…” Adam said sympathetically. He tried to think of something. They could go ask someone how in the world a person was supposed to use a toilet that was apparently housed in the same sort of container that would protect a priceless diamond in a museum… But, who could they ask? He thought going up to one of the workers and asking them a question relating to peeing would really mess up the atmosphere. Dad may think he was being rude, or feel like Adam had embarrassed him during his big moment… 

Alex kept rocking back and forth, rubbing his hands together, his entire body shaking with strain. He bounced in place, letting out needy, whimpering “Nnnnh!” and “Ooooh!” noises. 

Adam felt just terrible. It must have been torture to be so full of pee and stuck in a restroom with no way to use any of the toilets. He looked down at his feet and tried to— 

His feet! 

Yes! 

Alex may not have wanted to wear the uncomfortable, fancy, lifted shoes, but Adam had worn his. And, Alex wouldn’t have to worry about falling over, because he wouldn’t have very far to walk. “Alex, come on,” Adam said. “I know how you can pee.” 

Alex doubled over and moaned, he couldn’t keep his body still anymore. His toes tapped, his hips twitched. The need had moved from his bladder up into his back, consuming his entire body a second later. His heart pounded rapidly in his ears and he took in shallow puffs of air as he asked; “You know how to open it?” His voice was full of hope, but his hope was dying as he felt himself spurt into his boxers. His fingers and toes curled and contorted as much as the rest of him already had. 

“No,” Adam admitted. “But, that doesn’t matter. I know how you can use the urinals.” 

“I can’t reach,” Alex reminded, his entire body surging and trembling. 

“I know,” Adam said. “But, I could. Remember? And we’re pretty much the same height, so that means all you have to do is trade shoes with me, okay?” 

Alex nodded quickly. He needed to be taller! Just a tiny bit taller! He twisted his legs back together, the spasms from his bladder near constant. 

Adam began removing his shoes. “Take off yours,” he said. “You’ll be able to go in just a minute…” 

Alex made to crouch down so he could unlace his shoes, but the instant he began to squat, his bladder began to spray. “Ahhh!” he gasped out, hands flying in between his legs as he shot back up. The amount of liquid contained in his body was far beyond his ability to hold unless he gave his bladder all the room it could possibly get. “I can’t! I’m peeing!” he managed through his panic. He cut the flow off, whimpering all the while. 

He felt Adam’s hands on his feet, “Alright, I can do this, it’s gonna be—“ 

“I’m peeing!” Alex repeated, his eyes squeezed shut. “Hurry! I can’t make it much longer!” 

“Hey…” Adam soothed, helping Alex step out of his shoes. “It’s alright, just one more minute.” 

Alex was bent completely over as Adam slipped the fancy, lifted shoes onto his feet. Alex’s hands were buried between his legs, his hips shimmying back and forth as he fought not to cross his legs or bounce on his feet as Adam laced the shoes. He and Alex were not the same shoe size, and these were a tight fit on Alex’s feet, but he’d only need to wear them for a few minutes, nowhere near long enough to get a blister or anything. 

“There you are,” Adam said. “You shouldn’t have any problem with the tall urinals now.” 

Alex opened his squished shut eyes and found that he did feel taller. It was weird how much a couple inches of lift changed his perspective of his surroundings. But, he couldn’t focus on that now. He had to get moving. 

But, if he’d thought walking in lifted shoes was hard normally, doing it with a full bladder ought to have been an Olympic sport. Maybe they should have waited to swap until Alex was actually at the urinal, but then again if he’d been able to see it he probably would have pissed himself before he had the chance to use it. His steps were so wobbly, and he couldn’t even be sure if it was because he was struggling to balance or because he was struggling not to pee. 

Adam put a steadying hand on his back. “Almost there,” he said. “Sweet thing… You can make it.” 

Alex felt more confident in himself at Adam’s soothing words. He managed to make it the last few steps and found to his great relief that he was now positive he could actually direct his stream into the urinal. It was now level with his crotch rather than above it. Eagerly, he tugged down his zip and pulled out his prosthetic. The torrent was immediate, it felt like his holding muscles just dropped out from underneath him. There was no build-up, he went straight into a full-on, noisy, and intensely powerful gush. He tried not to moan, it was such a perverse sound that he should no better than to make in a public place, but as an all-consuming shiver worked its way up from the soles of his feet to the top of his scalp, he cried out in ecstasy involuntarily; “Ahhhhhhhh…! 

Adam knew Alex didn’t mind being looked at while he peed, his upbringing hadn’t granted him much privacy after all, but Adam still tried not to look. However, when he heard that noise fall from his boyfriend’s lips, he couldn’t help it. He’d only heard Alex make a sound even close to resembling that one the night Adam had discovered where Alex most liked to feel his tongue. 

When Adam looked and noticed the strength of the jet of piss Alex was letting out, he did feel the need to say something; “Hold back a little,” he said. “You could overflow the STP if you go too fast.” 

Alex groaned, but his stream began to slow so Adam knew he’d at least managed it. 

“I know,” Adam said. “But, you don’t want to have gone through all that only to pee some in your clothes anyway, do you?” 

Alex sighed out an affirmative sounding noise. And, when he shivered again, Adam knew that even if he’d needed to control his flow a little, it wasn’t tampering down the relief he felt very much. He shuddered one final time as his stream tapered off and he shook out his prosthetic. He zipped back up with a sigh. “Th—thank you,” he breathed out. “Want to switch back?” 

“Yeah,” Adam agreed. “You… really can’t walk in those things, can you?” 

“Not really,” Alex laughed. “And, I think I can get them off myself now…” he added, crouching down. He noticed then that he was a little sore in his center, but it wasn’t too bad. 

Adam followed suit. “I have never seen anyone get pee-shivers as much as you do,” he informed, before quickly adding; “I hope that’s not weird to say. I just… I read they’re more common in men than in women, and—“ 

“In that case, I’ve never been so glad to get them as much as I do!” 

After they’d swapped their shoes back around and washed up, they returned to the table. Adam had been right; Alex really did like calamari. And, now that he knew there was a way he could use the tall urinals, he didn’t hesitate to drink a few more glasses of the delicious, lemony water… 

Adam’s Dad gave his speech, and afterwards he followed the two down to their car to talk with them a bit. At one point, Adam mentioned some aspects of the mishap they’d had in the restroom. “Do those toilets need, like, a password or something?” he asked. 

“Oh,” Adam’s Dad said. “I’d forgotten about that… Yeah. There’s a really, really small remote built into the wall behind the toilet. If you press one of the buttons, then it will open. I don’t understand why something like that exists, either. It’s very confusing. Hope it wasn’t too big of an issue.” 

“No, we figured something out,” Adam assured.

Link to comment

Okay… So, I hope I do a good job explaining everything here, some parts might be a little difficult to visualize if you’ve never used an STP yourself, so I hope I’ve described it all well.

*** 

“Oh, God…” Adam murmured as he pulled his car into the parking lot of a gas station. “Finally…” He glanced over at Alex; His boyfriend really didn’t like it when he “took The Lord’s name in vain” like that. Adam had never understood what the big deal was, and it was hard to remember not to do it. 

He needn’t have worried this time, though. Alex was fast asleep in the passenger seat. 

Adam released his seatbelt, and groaned as it finally, FINALLY stopped strangling the tar out of his bladder— Which had felt on the verge of rupture for the past hour and a half. 

He and Alex were taking a road trip down to Florida for the week to visit a theme park, and Adam had a bone to pick with whoever had decided to place so few rest stops along the last stretch of road they’d been on. He’d never had the displeasure of trying to control a half ton hunk of metal along a highway with some foot buttons and a wheel while absolutely dying for a freaking piss before. He’d never driven drunk before either, but he had a feeling that his need for the toilet had affected his driving ability as much as being intoxicated would have. When he’d finally seen the sign for this rest stop, he’d almost teared up with relief. 

He scrambled from the car, cringing as his stiff legs straightened out and his feet hit the ground. He practically doubled over on himself and felt like, even after all that, he was going to soak himself right where he stood before he could get to the restroom. He caught his bearings enough to get moving, and scurried for the building that promised him release. He darted through the automatic doors and immediately began hobbling for the restrooms in the back. 

The guy behind the register called out to him that he’d need to buy something first. 

Adam cringed, reached a hand into his pocket and waved around a few dollar bills. “I’ll buy something when I get back, I promise!” He said, continuing his half-doubled over rush. 

The guy didn’t protest, and Adam shoved open the door to the men’s room, already tugging down his zipper. “Finally…” he muttered again. “Finally, finally…” He situated himself at the urinal and, at long last, allowed his muscles to relax for the first time in hours. Clear liquid trickled from the tip of his STP prosthetic, and he moaned softly. His bladder slowly deflated back to its proper size and he shook out his STP as he fought to catch his breath. Phew… That had been ENTIRELY too close… 

After washing up, he returned to the guy at the register. “Sorry…” he said. 

“No problem,” the guy said. “I wouldn’t want to have to mop the floors tonight.” 

Adam felt himself blush as he went into the snack aisle. He wanted to find something Alex might like. He was stunned by how few chips Alex had actually tried in his life. At his old home, his diet had been about ninety percent pasta and tomato sauce, since that was cheap and fast to prepare, and snacks between meals were a very rare treat. 

Adam had a feeling Alex would really like pork rinds… Alex loved meat. Adam was a vegetarian, apart from fish. Adam had never tried to persuade Alex to become one as well, just as Alex had never tried to convince Adam to become more religious. Adam was surprised that two so very different people could also have lots of things in common, and could love each other so much. 

Adam bought Alex the pork rinds and headed back to the car. Adam loved his new car. He’d finally saved up the money to replace the worn out old truck he’d gotten from his Dad with a used electric car. Alex seemed to like the new car, too. He especially liked the soft, comfy seats. Clearly, since he’d spent the last few hours fast asleep in one of them. 

Adam wondered if he ought to wake Alex up and have him use the restroom. Alex had drank just as much as Adam had the last time they’d stopped for food. He probably needed to go… Adam got into the car and gave Alex a quick nudge. “Alex? Wake up…” 

Alex didn’t budge. 

“Sweet thing…” Adam said, nudging him a little harder. “Do you have to go pee?” 

Alex still didn’t move. 

Adam tried a few more times to rouse his partner, but Alex was too deep in sleep. So, Adam eventually gave up on it and got back on the road. Hopefully there would be more stops going forward, in case Alex did have to go when he woke up. 

*** 

Alex and Adam had been in line for this roller coaster for at least five hours! Alex had grown very bored, and sweaty, and he really, REALLY wished that the line was for a restroom instead. He wanted to tell Adam that he had to pee and couldn’t wait much longer, but they’d already been in this line for SO long and he didn’t want for them to lose their place. If Alex could just go off on his own to pee while Adam saved their spot, he would have. But, this place was so big and so crowded, and Alex knew he’d get badly lost if he tried to go somewhere without Adam. 

So, Alex held it. He jiggled in place, jumped from foot to foot, begged for the line to move faster, and he held it. His bladder felt fuller than it ever had before. He needed to go so much that it hurt. When he looked down, he was startled by how swollen he looked. His middle was protruding, and almost rippling. He was shocked his body could even hold that much pee! 

Suddenly, the roller coaster made a strange noise and the guy running it said it had broken down and needed repairs. Alex wasn’t too disappointed. Now he could use the toilet! He immediately turned to Adam and let him know the current, agonizing state of his bladder. 

“That’s okay,” Adam said cooly. “I’ll find you somewhere to go.” He took Alex’s hand and led him off. They found a restroom right away and Alex was so relieved. But, when he opened the door and stepped inside, there were no urinals on the wall, just pipes protruding from where they should have been. Squeezing his thighs together, he opened the stall instead and found that instead of a toilet, there was just a regular chair for some reason. He was very confused and assumed he wasn’t allowed to pee there. 

He returned to Adam and said that there hadn’t been any toilets in there. Bouncing up and down, he added “I can’t hold it!” 

Adam seemed weirdly accepting of the fact the restroom didn’t have any toilets inside of it, and took Alex to a different one. This time, when Alex entered the restroom, he was met by a series of brightly colored doors like at a funhouse. He pushed one open, hoping it would contain a toilet. But, it didn’t. It just led into a long hallway lit with flashing lights. Alex felt his confusion build and build, but he could barely process anything when he just had to PEE so bad! 

He shoved open door after door, walked through a seemingly endless collection of winding hallways, constantly hoping that a toilet would present itself soon. He could hardly believe he had to go so badly. Soon, it became hard to fit through the doors because his bladder had swelled so much! Every time he squeezed himself through one, his need to go would ramp up considerably, to the point it was making him cry from the pain. 

Finally, after what must have been hours of stumbling and searching, Alex shoved through a door and found a dark room containing a huge staircase lit by a series of candles on either side. At the top of the staircase was a urinal. Finally! Alex tore up the staircase, every step jostling his poor, bloated bladder. He was amazed he hadn’t leaked yet. But, finally it was almost over. He was gonna get to pee! 

He got up the staircase strangely quickly considering its massive height, but Alex didn’t care about that. That didn’t matter. All that mattered was that he was here now, and he could relieve himself at last. He unzipped, aimed his prosthetic, and unleashed an enormous spray of liquid. It was like what came out of the huge sprinklers on the water ride he and Adam had been on earlier in the day. It was like a super soaker being fired at full blast. His pee looked like a laser beam shooting out of him, and it felt— 

It felt like he STILL really, really had to go! 

He didn’t feel any sensation of release, no relief whatsoever. If anything, he felt like he needed to go even worse! 

Alex’s eyes began to open. 

The urinal was gone. 

He wasn’t deep in the catacombs of a strange, labyrinthian restroom at a theme park. 

He was in the car with Adam still.

He wasn’t peeing. 

He really, really, really, REALLY needed to, though! 

“Oh my goodness…” Alex winced out quietly, his thighs straining together as he backed himself against his seat as much as he could, trying to give his bladder a little more room. He looked out the window, hoping he’d see a gas station that he could beg Adam to stop at, but there wasn’t anything like that. 

What there was, however, was wall to wall traffic. 

And it wasn’t moving at all. 

Alex whimpered loudly. “Hnnng…” 

Adam heard him. He reached a hand over to rub Alex’s thigh, trying to ease away whatever was bothering him. “Sweet thing,” he said. “What’s wrong?” 

“Need the restroom,” Alex mumbled.

“Oh…” Adam said, noticing the knots Alex’s legs had become. “I’m sorry— I really tried to wake you when I stopped earlier, but—“ 

“I—It’s okay,” Alex said, bouncing fiercely in his seat. “Will there be somewhere soon?” 

Adam bit the inside of his cheek. The pink flush coating Alex’s cheeks and the sweat cascading down his face was worrisome. “I don’t know…” he admitted. “Traffic’s been backed up like this for a long time.” 

Alex shuddered. He didn’t have a ‘long time’ left to wait… He looked out the window again, there were a few, small bushes in the space in-between the lanes. “Can I go outside?” Alex asked, hopeful. 

“…No,” Adam said. “That wouldn’t be good, it’s too light out. There’s people around. Not any cover. You’ll have an audience.” 

Alex writhed. He was so desperate that he didn’t think he’d care if everyone on Earth saw him pee, so long as he actually got to pee. But, he knew he’d feel absolutely terrible afterwards, filled with shame that he’d given in to his body’s wants and exposed himself to others in such a primitive, animalistic way. So disgusted with himself for falling to temptation rather than engaging in restraint. 

But, he was to the point that ‘restraint’ wasn’t going to remain possible for much longer. His pee had to come out somehow, and it had to come out very soon. He fidgeted, shimmying his hips and twisting every which way. The car still hadn’t moved, and Alex couldn’t go outside, and there was nowhere to go inside, and he couldn’t not go! He was going to pee all over the seat! “Adam,” Alex said. “Um… I’m not sure how much longer I can wait.” 

Adam looked at Alex with sympathy in his eyes. He’d been desperate on long drives tons of times, and it was never fun. Having nowhere to pee and no idea of when such a place may present itself was nerve wracking, and only made the need to go feel so much worse. One of the times it had happened to Adam was just before he’d met Alex, and shortly after he’d gotten his STP. He’d been with his Dad, and stuck in wall to wall traffic like they were now. 

Adam’s need for the toilet had been so extreme that it felt like the rock hard, round curve of his bladder was stretching and warping his entire body as it tried to find more room to expand. He’d been tapping his feet and crossing his legs, holding himself and just begging for the cars ahead of them to move, just like Alex was doing now. 

When Adam had begun to tear up, when he’d started to actually cry from how much his bladder hurt and how badly he wanted to let his muscles relax, his Dad grew concerned, patted Adam’s knee, and told him that he could pee in the car. Adam had begun to protest; He didn’t want to have an accident! But, instead, Dad had given him an empty bottle. 

It had taken a few minutes for Adam to figure out how to make use of it. It was incredibly challenging to think through the process when all he wanted to do was pee until he was so empty he’d feel like he could fly away. 

Adam’s STP was funnel based. If the funnel was warped or blocked in any area, or if his anatomy wasn’t lined up correctly with it, then it wouldn’t work, it would overflow or spill. He also needed to create a seal around his anatomy with the funnel by making sure the entirety of the top was pressed tightly against his skin. If there was any space between his skin and the silicone surrounding the wide top of the funnel, it was more likely to leak. He’d quickly realized that he could not pee into a bottle while sitting in a car seat because that would block the funnel, and things would not be lined up properly. After some struggle, and a little help from his Dad, Adam had gotten himself into a position that would allow him to flood the bottle without making a huge mess. 

Adam looked around the car, he opened the glove box and rifled through it… There was a bottle in there. A nice, big one too. He could save Alex today just like Dad had saved him. Hopefully. There had been another time on a bus where Adam had tried to have Alex pee into a bottle, and it hadn’t worked. Alex hadn’t been able to unclench and allow his bladder to drain out. But, there had been other people around them that day, and the bus had been moving. This time, it was just the two of them, and it looked as though the car was going to be remaining stationary for quite a while. Adam assumed it would work better this time, and he really, really hoped he was right, because Alex’s bladder control was clearly not long for this world. 

“Alex, I’m gonna help you pee,” Adam said. “Part your legs.” 

Alex looked horrified at the suggestion. His legs felt like the only thing keeping him from turning the car into a mobile swimming pool. “I—I’m gonna go if I—“ 

“Trust me, alright?” Adam said. “I’ve got you. Part your legs.” 

The instant Alex’s thighs stopped straining against one another, he was spurting. He felt dampness collecting in his boxers, and heard tiny hissing sounds every few seconds. He clenched his eyes shut tight. “I d—d-don’t wa—want to ruin your car, Adam…” 

“You won’t,” Adam promised. “Just scoot forward a little, so your butt’s not in the seat anymore. Keep one hand behind yourself on the chair so you can balance. And angle your… self down towards the floor.” 

Alex whimpered, sweat rolling down his face. He tried to do as Adam said, but he just had to pee so badly and he didn’t know how this was supposed to help. His bladder shrieked tyrannically as he moved forward off his seat, and his legs shook with exertion as his nails dug into the seat behind him. He realized he couldn’t stay balanced with just one hand when his body shuddered and jolted and he lost another spray of pee as he wobbled. So, his second hand clamped onto the seat as well. 

Adam was about to tell Alex that he needed his other hand, but decided against it. The look on Alex’s face was pure agony, and he seemed barely able to keep himself positioned as it was. Adam supposed he could give him a little more help than he himself had gotten from his Dad. “I’m going to have to pull your pants down for you, is that okay? I promise, this will help.” 

“Y—Yes,” Alex pleaded. A frantic spray of pee spurted from him, re-soaking his drying clothes as he shimmied his hips uselessly. 

Adam quickly yanked Alex’s shorts down. His prosthetic was in the correct place, and with how he no longer had a carseat beneath him, no part of it was smooshed, nothing would block a stream of liquid from rushing through its funnel as intended. He was angled properly so fluid should just flow straight down it. Adam received a confirmation that the prosthetic was properly positioned when he saw Alex leak again. A thin, clear jet of pee rushed from the tip and splashed loudly into the footwell. “I—I’m sorry!” Alex said.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Adam tried to soothe. 

The harness Alex wore to keep the prosthetic attached to his body was tight, but not enough to form the proper seal necessary to keep anything from spilling out from around the top once Alex really started going. Alex needed to keep his hands on the seat behind him to keep from falling over, he couldn’t press the prosthetic against himself. “I’m also going to have to touch you a little, alright? You’ll be able to go in just a second.” 

“Okay,” Alex said. “Hurrryyyy!” It was taking every ounce of strength he had not to start peeing right then. He felt Adam pressing his prosthetic up against his body, creating a seal. Then, he watched as Adam placed the bottle beneath his tip. 

“Go,” Adam started to say, but Alex already was. 

Alex had released a wavering, hissing stream of urine. He was still so nervous that he was about to make a mess, and his body couldn’t relax all the way due to the strain of his position. But, he was peeing. Thank goodness… He heard his pee trickling into the bottom of the bottle, and didn’t feel the warmth building up around his thighs that told him he wasn’t using his STP correctly. Just to check, however, he asked; “I—Is it okay?” 

“It’s just fine,” Adam promised. “Keep peeing.” He kept a careful eye out the front window of the car, nervous that the traffic would suddenly clear before Alex was done and people would start honking at them to move. But, the cars ahead of them remained at a standstill. He noticed Alex still had that pinched, distressed look on his face. His cheeks were bright red and sweat was running in buckets down his forehead. His eyes kept darting out the window of the car. Probably because it was difficult to balance… Or maybe it was because Alex had been brought up to value modesty very heavily, he was punished and shamed even for just showing his shoulders in public, and this—Sitting half-naked in a car in heavy traffic while someone held his dick for him as he peed into a bottle— was definitely NOT modest at all… 

“Sweet thing…” Adam said. “You’re okay. No one in the other cars can see what you’re doing. It’s just us.” 

Alex released a shaky sigh then and allowed his eyes to drift partway closed. He was trying to stay as still as possible to make Adam’s job easier, but before long an uncontrollable shiver went through his body. 

“Careful…” Adam said, a light sprinkle of liquid spurting onto the floor instead of into the bottle. 

“S—Sorry…” Alex said. 

“It’s okay,” Adam said. “Feeling better?” 

“Yes… Th—Thank you…” Alex felt silly for it, but he didn’t know if he’d ever loved Adam more than he did right now. Adam had saved him. Adam had been smart enough to know how to give him what he so badly needed. Adam had made him feel so, so good… 

“Wow…” Adam said, feeling the bottle growing warmer and heavier as Alex’s stream continued its slow trickle. It looked like they were going to be here a while. Not only had Alex’s release failed to pick up in speed or force, Adam was also now realizing that his boyfriend’s bladder had been fuller than could have possibly been healthy. “Poor thing. You really had to go… ” Of course, that had been obvious from all his squirming and clear discomfort, but it was still amazing to see so much come out with no end in sight. 

“I’m r—really sorry…” Alex said. 

“Don’t apologize!” Adam said. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

Alex was getting really sore from keeping himself in such an awkward position. He tried to push and go faster, tried to loosen the muscles that he’d been straining to keep taut for so long, and finally his stream picked up a bit, and the relief he felt practically tripled. Before it had felt really, really good, but now that he was letting it out in a nice, steady flow, it felt like a reward from God Himself. “Haaahhhhhh….” he breathed now, blushing even more. That sound certainly hadn’t been very modest… 

Adam grew increasingly concerned as to whether Alex’s bladder’s capacity was actually higher than the bottle’s was. It was a huge bottle, but Alex had almost filled it. “Al—Almost done?” 

“Just about…” Alex murmured. One last, long spray of urine spattered into the bottle. “Okay. Finished.” 

“There you go, all better…” Adam released Alex’s cock and twisted the bottle’s cap back on. “Sit back in your chair now,” he said. But, Alex was already doing that. 

He’d pulled his shorts back up and was now resting calmly and limply in his seat. “Thank you…” he sighed out again, still blushing. 

Adam rubbed his thigh once more. “You’re welcome,” he said. 

“I love you so much…” Alex added blearily. 

“Heh… I love you too, sweet thing.”

Link to comment

Alex had never gotten to see Santa at the mall as a child, and now he was way too old for that kind of thing. But, his younger sister Charity was just the perfect age for it, so he and Adam had decided to bring her to the mall today. 

Alex loved Christmas. He always had. It was the only time of year that Papa loosened up. Normally, when Papa spoke of God, he emphasized the importance of obedience, the evils of sin, and what would await a person in Hell if they stepped one toe out of line. He painted horrific pictures with his words of all the ways Alex or his siblings would suffer for eternity if they didn’t follow the rules Papa set for them, and it took many years for Alex to realize that those ‘rules’ did not even come from God, but just from Papa. God had never actually said most of the things Papa liked to say He did. 

But, during Christmastime, when Papa talked about God, he talked about the love He had for His creation, and about the birth of Jesus. Instead of feeling terrified and like he needed to carefully think about each and every move he made for fear of condemning himself to Hell, Alex felt warm and safe and like God was watching over him and guiding him. The caring God was the only one Alex spoke to now, not the vengeful, angry one his Papa had raised him to fear. 

Now that he was away from Papa and only around people who loved him, Alex felt warm and cared for all the time. But, now that it was Christmastime, he was feeling those things even more. He and Adam had decorated their apartment, and Adam had lots of ornaments Alex had never seen, like snow frosted pickles and rock band logos. Normally, Adam said his family put a rubber chicken on top of the tree dressed as Santa, but Alex said that he wanted an angel. They compromised by giving the chicken a halo, which wasn’t quite what Alex had had in mind, but he couldn’t help but think it was funny. 

What Alex didn’t like about Christmastime was the temperature. He’d always been more sensitive to cold than most, and even with his scarf and sweater on, he was shivering inside the mall. Adam noticed him trembling and immediately offered to buy him some hot chocolate. Charity perked up at the word chocolate, so Adam bought cups for all three of them. 

Alex had tasted hot chocolate before, but not like this. This was a lot sweeter than any hot chocolate he’d ever had. And that made it better. His body started to heat up more with each gulp. “Mmm, thank you, Adam,” he said. He looked down at Charity. “What do you say?” he prompted. 

“Thank you,” Charity repeated. 

Adam ruffled her hair, “You’re welcome,” he said. 

The three finished their cups quickly and Alex shivered again. Now that he didn’t have anything warm to sip on, the chill was coming back into his body. “Adam, may I have another?” 

Adam nodded, “Of course, sweet thing.” 

“Can I have more?” Charity asked. 

Adam paused. He wasn’t sure if that was a good idea. Alex and Charity’s Mom might be mad if they dropped her off at home hopped up on sugar. Alex was old enough for a sugar rush not to be a big deal, and the poor thing was still shivering and needed some more help warming up! “No, one is enough,” he said. 

Charity frowned, “How come Alex gets to have more?” 

Adam had always hated it whenever one of his parents had told him “Because I said so,” growing up, so he tried to explain the reason. “Don’t want to make your Mom upset by giving you too many sweets,” he said. 

Charity started to pout, so Adam reminded her she’d be seeing Santa soon and she brightened again. Alex smiled after Adam as he walked him walk off. He was impressed by how good Adam was with the little ones… 

Once Alex had his second cup, they left the food court and started in the direction of the Santa display. Alex continually took sips from his drink, feeling the heat rise in his body. His shivering slowly eased away and he felt much, much better. When they got to the line for Santa, they found two problems; One, it was extremely long, and two, there was a sign saying that no beverages were allowed within it. 

Alex had been hoping to savor his chocolate a little more, but with how long the line already was he didn’t want to waste time. So, he downed the rest of his drink in a few large gulps and tossed out the empty cup. 

Half an hour later, Alex was beginning to have regrets. 

When he’d been enjoying the hot chocolates and focusing on warming himself up, Alex had neglected to consider where those two big cups were eventually going to end up. They were still pretty far back in the line, and Alex needed the restroom. And he needed it bad. 

He swayed from side to side, hoping his antsy motions would be written off as him just being bored of the line, but his body was urging him to move around a whole lot more than just that gentle rocking to and fro. His body wanted him to dance around, to cross his legs, to jump from one foot to the other. Mostly though, his body wanted him to leave this enormous line and go find a restroom so it could rid itself of all the urine that had accumulated inside of it. 

But, he couldn’t do that. The crowds today were massive, and Alex knew there was no way he’d be able to find an empty bathroom. And, if he went into one with people in it, what if something bad happened like what had once happened to Adam? He knew he’d feel safe going to use the restroom if Adam was with him, but they couldn’t leave Charity on her own in line. And, he couldn’t force all three of them to leave just because he needed the toilet real bad. 

Which left Alex with one option; Holding it. 

He didn’t bother telling Adam what he needed to do, knowing that it would just make Adam worry. Alex tried peaking around the people ahead of them to figure out how much longer he was gonna need to wait, but he couldn’t even SEE Santa from where he was. He knew he was going to be stuck here a long, long time. 

He tried to think of other things. This was his first Christmas with Adam! What should he get him as a gift? It had to be something big, something that showed how much he loved him and how thankful he was to him for sharing this new world with him. What did Adam want more than anything in the world? 

Maybe an autograph from one of his favorite rock stars. Alex knew a lot of the musicians Adam liked best had died years ago though. Maybe he could still find an autograph for sale somewhere? Except, he knew it would be extra expensive if the person it had come from wasn’t alive anymore… 

Oh, maybe Adam would like to have his own guitar, and lessons so he could make his own music? Yeah, that could work. He imagined the look on Adam’s face when he unwrapped it. They’d be snuggled together under the tree and Adam would take out the guitar and smile so wide, and then Alex would cuddle up closer to him and tell him he deserved it for being so cool and awesome. And Adam would hug him and snuggle him, and Alex would say “Hold on a second, Adam, I really need to use the bathroom,” and he’d stand up and hurry to the toilet and pee, and it would feel so, so good, and— 

Alex shook his head, trying to clear it. His thighs clenched as his bladder throbbed at the fantasy. They’d moved forward a little bit. Just a little bit. A teeny, tiny bit. And Alex felt at least twice as desperate to go as he had before. ‘Oh, this is bad,’ he thought. If they kept moving at this pace, and his bladder kept filling at this rate, there was no way Alex was gonna make it to a urinal in time. The thought scared him. There were so many people here, all around him! He didn’t want to have an accident with such a huge audience! 

‘No, no,’ he told himself. ‘Stop thinking like that. Just… Try and distract yourself again.’ It hadn’t worked out so well the first time, but maybe his next attempt at filling his mind with something that didn’t involve really, really wanting to urinate would go a little better. “Adam?” He whispered softly. He was doing more of a dance now, lifting first one foot and then the other, basically doing a very strange march in place. 

“Hm?” Adam asked. He’d been looking at his phone, trying to entertain himself as he waited. 

“Um…” Alex bit his lip. He hadn’t really known what he was going to say. He knew what he WANTED to say, which was “Adam, I need the bathroom really bad! Can we go?” But, he knew he COULDN’T say that. “Wha—What are you looking at?” 

Adam showed Alex the game he’d been playing, and for a little bit this kept Alex’s mind off his bladder as they slowly inched forward in line. Alex barely noticed the way his hips were twisting, the way his feet were bouncing, the way his weight was shifting. He didn’t notice it at all until Charity spoke up. 

“Alex has to tinkle,” Charity loudly announced with a giggle. 

Alex hadn’t actually NEEDED all that hot chocolate anyway. Now that Charity had said THAT for everyone to hear, Alex felt warmer than he had all day! He covered his face and looked away, trying to stop his dancing but finding that he couldn’t. If he stopped moving for longer than a second, he could feel his pee trying to push itself out of his body. “Charity…” he said. “Don’t say stuff like that…” 

“When you have to go potty, you’re supposed to go right away,” Charity recited something Alex had said to HER on many previous occasions. “Or else, you might have an accident.” 

Alex grew even WARMER. “Charity, please…” 

“Shush…” Adam said to her. He turned to Alex. “Um…” he whispered. “Do you…?” He hadn’t noticed Alex’s little dance before, assuming he was just getting cold again and shaking because of that… But, he HAD downed two HUGE cups of hot chocolate pretty quickly… 

“Y—Yes,” Alex whispered back. “Really bad. But, I can wait,” he promised. “I don’t want to ruin this for her. She’s only gonna be this little for so long.” 

“Ruin… Oh,” Adam said, realizing the same things Alex had realized earlier. Going into a crowded public men’s room alone was too scary for Alex, and they couldn’t leave Charity by herself, and— “Um… Once we’re done here, what are we gonna do?” 

Alex stared at Adam in confusion. “Um… We’re gonna go to the restroom?” he said. 

“We can’t leave Charity alone,” Adam said. “And, you don’t feel safe using public bathrooms alone…”

Alex figured out what Adam meant. Either Alex was going to have to work up the nerve to go in there by himself so Adam could stay with Charity, or they were going to have to bring Charity into the men’s room. Was that… Okay to do? It must have been, if a dad was out with his daughter and she was still little enough to need help in the bathroom, then that was probably what happened, right? Charity still needed help sometimes, so that meant she was young enough for it not to be a big deal. 

How weird, Alex thought. Nobody cared when a really little girl was in the men’s room because they’d assume there was a good reason for it. But, Alex was a GUY that had to be scared to go into men’s rooms alone just in case someone thought he LOOKED too much like a girl and got angry with him. He didn’t think that was very fair. Why did people even care so much? 

“We can take her with us, right?” Alex said, jumping in place before turning himself in a tiny, frantic circle. He really wanted to stop talking about this. Talking about the logistics of his upcoming pee break was making him more and more eager for it to come. 

“Take me where?” Charity asked. 

Alex cringed. He hoped SHE was okay with this. Just like him, Charity didn’t like to break rules. Even if those rules were things that only really existed in her head. 

Adam knelt down next to her, “After we’re done here, Alex has to use the bathroom. But, he doesn’t like going by himself so I need to go with him. We don’t want to leave you alone, so we need to take you in too.” 

“How come Alex can’t go by himself?” Charity asked. “I can do that! He’s bigger!” 

She only actually managed to use the bathroom alone without making any kind of mess about half the time, but Alex didn’t say so. 

“It’s… Scary to him,” Adam said. “It’s scary to me too. And to lots of other people. We feel safer if we are togeth—“ 

“Is it ‘cause of how he used to be my sister?” Charity asked, way, way too loudly. 

Alex stiffened and went still for the first time since his urge had first presented itself. Did someone hear that? Did they know what it meant? Did it make them upset? Panic was building now, and along with it, the first leak spurted into Alex’s pants. He clenched his thighs to cut off the flow, but now he was frightened, and his bladder was so full, and he wanted to go home where it was safe and he could pee, and— 

“Charity,” Adam said, voice firm. “Don’t say that.” 

“Why—“ 

“Just don’t,” Adam repeated, lowering his voice. “I know you aren’t meaning to, but you are making Alex feel bad, so don’t say that. You can talk about that in private if Alex says it is okay, but not outside. Alex doesn’t like it. Some people wouldn’t understand, and sometimes they get angry when they don’t understand something.” 

“Okay…” Charity said. “I’m sorry, Alex.” 

“It’s… Alright,” Alex managed. The panic was beginning to flow out of him, but it was taking more and more effort to keep his pee from doing the same. He was hunched over now, unable to stand fully upright without feeling like he was going to lose it. 

Adam rubbed his shoulder soothingly. “It’s okay, sweet thing. She doesn’t understand what she’s saying, she didn’t mean—“ 

“I need to go SO bad…” Alex interrupted miserably. 

Adam kept rubbing him. “I know…” he said. They’d moved forward quite a bit, they were finally close to the front. “It shouldn’t be too much longer… If you want to… Try to do it on your own—“ 

Alex trembled more at the thought. After what Charity had said, he felt so on edge. He knew she hadn’t meant to shake him up so much and make him worry, she’d had no idea saying that would make him feel this way, but there was no way he was going to try and use a public toilet alone now… “No,” he said. “I can hold it…” 

Adam continually stroked his arm, concern growing. He understood Alex’s fear better than anyone, but the poor thing was clearly having an emergency… He was worried Alex would end up not making it. 

Eventually, they were next in line, and Alex’s bladder felt like it was splitting apart down the middle, drips and dribbles escaping him every minute or so. His teeth were clenched and he was leaning against Adam for support. 

Charity ran forward to meet with Santa. Alex heard him asking her what she’d like for Christmas— Alex knew what HE wanted. He wanted a toilet to spontaneously materialize in front of him right now!

“I want a rabbit, like my big brother and his friend Adam have!” Charity said. Alex would have thought that was cute if he wasn’t so, so close to peeing his pants. 

“Is that your brother over there?” Santa asked, pointing at Alex. “

“Uh huh,” Charity nodded happily. 

“Does he like Christmas music a lot?” Santa asked. “He’s—“ 

“Nah, he just has to go potty REALLY bad!” Charity said. “That’s how come he’s dancing!”

Alex wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He hadn’t even known this level of embarrassment was physically possible. He thought a person enduring this level of humiliation really ought to be hospitalized… Oh, and the hospital would give him one of those portable urine bottle things and he’d FLOOD it with so much pee that— 

Ohhh, what was wrong with his brain today!? 

Santa laughed, “Oh…” he said. “Well, I don’t want to keep him much longer then. Do you want your brother in the photo with you?” 

‘Please, no,’ Alex thought. ‘I can NOT stay still for a photo…’ 

But, Charity nodded. So, Alex reluctantly headed up there with Adam squeezing his arm the whole way. Trying to smile for the camera was close to impossible and Alex could only barely manage a half-hearted grimace. Adam hurriedly paid for the photo and then he was leading Alex in the direction of the closest restrooms. 

“Sweet thing,” Adam said. “It’s okay, you’re alright… Just keep walking. Just a little further.” 

“Is Alex gonna tinkle in his pants?” Charity asked. 

“Not if we all hurry!” Adam said. 

Charity giggled and picked up her pace. They turned a corner, and found another huge line. Even bigger than the one for Santa, but this one was for the men’s room. 

Alex teared up at the sight of it. “I’m not… I can’t… I can’t do it,” he said. 

“Shh… Shhh… Shhh,” Adam said, rubbing more soothing patterns into Alex’s back. There was a zero percent chance of Alex making it through that line dry… “Okay, come on.” 

“Adam, I’m gonna—“ 

“I know,” Adam said. “I’ll find you somewhere, just come with me.” He quickly led Alex and Charity out of the mall. 

“I am going to explode…” Alex groaned miserably. 

“Shhh…” Adam spun about on his feet… ‘Come on, come on, there’s gotta be something…’ he thought. ‘Anything, please,’ he felt almost as desperate as Alex must have! 

A tiny crevice in the mall’s architecture, just wide enough for Alex to fit into… “Okay, found it,” Adam said. He was prepared to have to convince Alex that it was okay to hose down that wall, but as soon as he’d brought Alex to the tiny space and had stood himself at Alex’s back to block the view from anyone passing by, he heard Alex yanking down his zipper, a few seconds of frantic rustling, and then a very satisfying sounding hiss. 

Adam let out a sigh of relief at the same second Alex did. “Ohhh…” Alex moaned, instantly growing lightheaded as all his suffering came to an abrupt and very pleasurable stop. A stream of crystal clear pee was spraying out, wetting the wall and darkening the material, and it felt so, so, so good… It was almost enough to make it all worth it… All that agony was kind of okay if it meant he’d get to feel this amazing at the end of it… He was shivering and shuddering, and it wasn’t because of the cold at all. “Thank you…” he murmured softly, barely loud enough to be heard over the torrential downpour of his stream. “Thank you, Adam… Thank you so much…” 

“Heh, you’re welcome…” Adam said. “All better?” 

“So… Much… Better…” Alex agreed. 

Alex’s wits returned to him a bit more after he’d drained away enough of his burden, and he started to worry about where Charity was and if she’d wandered off. He didn’t have to stress about it though. She’d stayed close, and he realized as much when he heard her voice. “Neat! Alex is making a fountain!” she said. 

“Ah! N—No. D—Don’t look…” Alex said, alarmed. His body shook with one final, massive shiver, and his stream finally came to a stop. He shook out his STP and zipped back up, wobbling backwards and against Adam. 

Adam held him, “Done?” He asked. “You’re okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine now,” Alex said. “Still really, really embarrassed,” he said. “But, I feel way better.”

Link to comment

Adam had never actually set foot inside of a church. He’d joked with some of his friends that he couldn’t walk into them without his feet burning. This was a joke which he was certain Alex wouldn’t find particularly funny, so he refrained from making it when Alex requested that he accompany him to church for the Christmas Eve service. 

“I know you aren’t religious,” Alex said. “And, I’m not trying to force you to be. It would just mean a lot to me if we could share this together.” Alex said that the church he went to now was nothing like the one he used to go to growing up. There were no strange chants, no long tirades about all the different reasons everyone was going to burn in Hell, nothing like that. “For Christmas, they said it’s mostly just like a big party,” Alex added. “There are cookies and we wrap donations to deliver to poor families. They do read some things from The Bible first, but that doesn’t take too long.” 

Right after Alex left his old home, Adam had been confused that he’d even still WANT to go to church after how much his Dad’s interpretations of religion had damaged his view of himself and his relationship with the world around him. But, if anything, discovering who he was meant to be and connecting with others had actually strengthened Alex’s belief in God. “Papa said that Jesus spoke through him, and he was lying,” Alex explained. “It wasn’t Jesus that said I had to stand all night in the rain, or starve myself. Jesus never said I couldn’t wear pants or love you. Only Papa said that.” 

So, Adam agreed to go. There was a brief reading from The Bible at the start, and Adam was a little bored by it. He was also a little impressed that Alex apparently could UNDERSTAND all those really old words. After that, everyone went into another room for the celebration. There were cookies and things as Alex had promised, and a warm, friendly atmosphere that made Adam understand a little better why Alex liked it here. 

Adam definitely liked the eggnog they served at the party. It was extremely tasty and felt good going down his throat. He kept refilling his mug, partly just so he’d have something to do with his mouth other than talk to people. He was worried he’d say something wrong that he hadn’t known was offensive if he tried to talk about religion. So, he stayed quiet and drank, sticking close to Alex. 

It was a strange role-reversal. Alex being the more outgoing, more talkative one that knew exactly how to act and what was expected, while Adam stayed quiet and let Alex lead him around. It felt weird, but at the same time Adam was glad to see that Alex had somewhere that he felt completely confident and at home. 

Alex’s Mom and younger siblings were there too, and Adam said hello to all of them. It was while Alex was catching up with his Mom that Adam noticed where all that eggnog had ended up, and that he was going to have to find the restroom pretty soon. He glanced around, trying to find the sign for it, but he didn’t see one. He also didn’t know if it was okay to ask anyone. He had a feeling talking about needing to pee in church probably wasn’t proper. 

Once Alex finished talking, he decided he’d ask him.

Except, Alex and his Mom had a really close relationship, and when they talked, they talked for a long, long time. And, with nothing to focus on other than his bladder, Adam was starting to get very, very uncomfortable. He wondered if he ought to walk off and try to find the toilet himself. But, he didn’t want Alex to think he’d ditched him or something. Alex had been so worried that Adam wouldn’t like it here, if he just disappeared on him like that, then he knew Alex would feel awful. 

Sure, once Adam got BACK from the bathroom and explained he’d just been busy peeing, Alex would feel fine, but Adam didn’t want him to be stressed out for even one second on what was such a special night for him. Swaying back and forth in indecision, Adam was just about to tap Alex on the shoulder to interrupt and say he really had to take a bathroom break. 

But then two of Alex’s younger sisters, Prudence and Charity, started to tug on his sleeve. “Wanna play charades?” Prudence asked. “We need a third person to make it fun, and Ben doesn’t wanna play.” Ben was one of Alex’s brothers. 

“O—Oh, yeah,” Adam said. The little kids liked playing with him a lot, and it kind of warmed his heart a little whenever he made them happy. They both looked so hopeful right now that he didn’t want to let them down. “Okay.” 

“Mama,” Prudence said. “Adam’s gonna play charades with us over there.” She pointed to one corner of the room. 

“Okay,” Alex’s Mom said, before turning back to Alex.

Adam and the kids went into a quiet corner to start their game. Prudence took out a box of cards and let Adam pick one. His first word was ‘firefighter’, so first he pointed to his head and tried to make the shape of a fireman’s hat. Then, he tried to mime that he was holding a hose. He pictured the forceful way water always sprayed from such powerful hoses and tried to make it seem like the invisible item he was holding was very sturdy and heavy. 

He was picturing the jet of water a little TOO clearly for his bladder, though. Imagining himself holding and aiming an item that was quickly and noisily shooting out gallons of liquid was making him wish he was aiming something else instead. His knees pinched inwards and began to rub together. 

“A firefighter,” Charity guessed. 

“Yeah, a firefighter” Prudence agreed, and just as Adam started to nod, she added “A firefighter that has to pee really bad.” 

Adam felt embarrassment churn in his stomach. “Um… Yeah,” he said. He tried to straighten himself out a little more, and his bladder thrashed in irritation as his skin strained against it. 

Charity went next, and to Adam’s relief Prudence turned her attention immediately to her sister and didn’t notice the way he kept rocking from side to side. Charity danced and twirled in a circle and Adam correctly guessed she was a ballerina. After Prudence’s turn, during which she pretended to lasso a whip around in the air until Charity called out that her word was cowboy, Adam went once more. 

This time his word was pirate. Oh, why did all of his words have to have some connection to water? He still hadn’t managed to stop his subtle, foot to foot pee-dance. Each time he let himself go still for longer than a few seconds, the searing pressure in his bladder would press so hard into his opening that he feared he might leak. Still shifting his weight back and forth, he gestured to his hand and attempted to curl his fingers into a hook-like shape. Then he bounced up and down on his toes as he placed a hand over his eye as if it were an eyepatch.

“A pirate,” said Charity. 

“Ye—“ 

“That has to pee REALLY bad,” Prudence chimed in. 

Adam let both his hands drop back down to his sides, before balling them into fists, his thighs squeezing tightly together as another spasm soared through his body. He hoped he wasn’t blushing, but considering how warm he suddenly felt in spite of the chilly Winter season, he knew he was. “Yes…” 

They kept playing for a while, and each time Adam had a turn, the kids both thought that ‘needing to pee really badly’ was part of the prompt the card had given him

“How come all of yours have to tinkle?” Charity asked him after another round had finished. 

Adam shrugged, struggling to uncross his legs without letting loose a spurt into his pants. He managed the first part of the mission, but not the second. Heat bloomed warm and wet between his thighs as a tiny bit of his agony squirted out. He couldn’t understand why he felt too embarrassed to tell a little kid that was barely toilet-trained herself that the reason all his characters needed a toilet so much was because HE needed one so bad he couldn’t stop dancing. He wasn’t usually so shy about relieving himself, but he definitely was now. 

It was just that… Well, he still wasn’t one hundred percent sure what behavior was appropriate inside a church or not. It was stupid, but he honestly didn’t know if saying “I have to pee” in church was frowned upon or something. He was probably worrying over nothing, but he so wanted to be on his best behavior for Alex tonight. 

Speaking of Alex, he’d finally stopped talking with his Mom and had come over. “Hey guys,” he said. “What’cha doing?” 

“Playing charades,” Charity said. 

“All of Adam’s characters need the bathroom,” Prudence giggled. “And he keeps doing such a funny dance!”

Adam covered his face, trying to shield his blush as he continued on doing that ‘funny dance’ Prudence found so amusing. He stepped in place, his heels striking the ground in rapid succession. He swung his arms at his sides, his hands still curled into tight fists. He bounced up and down. 

Alex laughed too, “Heh, I’m glad he’s kept you entertained. And it IS a funny dance,” he agreed. He looked back to Adam with a smile. “It looks super real, too! I didn’t know you were such a good actor, you must be awesome at this game!” 

Adam chewed on his lip. He knew this was the perfect opportunity to tell Alex what he needed. He could easily say “Actually, I’m NOT acting, I really DO have to go, and I don’t know where the toilet is!” And, he was JUST about to say that, but Alex kept talking. 

“We have to wrap the donations now,” Alex said. “Come on, I’m sure you’ll be great help.” 

Charity and Prudence followed after Alex and Adam reluctantly did the same. The words “But I really have to pee!” were right there in his mouth, pressing against the back of his teeth, begging to spray out just like the liquid contained in his bladder. But, then he had a thought; What if Alex thought he was trying to get out of helping? 

‘That’s ridiculous,’ Adam told himself. ‘Alex knows you too well to think you wouldn’t work on a charity project with him. Just tell him you have to go and you’ll be right back.’ 

His nonsensical worry chased away from his mind, Adam picked up the pace as he shadowed Alex into a new room. There was a pile of toys set up on a large table alongside several reams of wrapping paper. Adam grabbed hold of Alex’s arm and squeezed. 

Instead of turning around and asking Adam what the matter was, Alex just reached to grab Adam’s hand and squeeze onto it. “Thank you so much for coming here with me,” he said. 

“Alex, I—“ 

Alex led Adam to one of the chairs surrounding the table, then sat down beside him. He grabbed one of the toys and some of the supplies, then grabbed another box for Adam. As soon as Adam’s legs were hidden beneath the table, he wound them together and started to jiggle them like mad. His hands gripped tightly to the edge of his seat as his teeth ground against each other. He felt another spurt of pee slowly dribble out of his body, and the sweat that had been pouring down his back ever since he’d started getting desperate began to turn icy cold. He was going to burst! 

“See?” Alex said. “ I told you, it’s nothing like where I used to go. It’s nice and friendly and—“ 

“Alex,” Adam said. “I need—“ 

“Oh, have you never wrapped stuff before?” Alex guessed. “It’s tricky the first time, I’ll help y—“ 

“Alex, I…” Adam lowered his voice as much as he could, which was a struggle because the intense pressure flooding his body was enough to make him scream. “I need the bathroom. Like, right now.” 

Alex froze and stopped reaching for the wrapping paper. So, Adam wasn’t just a great actor, then. His silly dance had been genuine and Alex hadn’t realized. “Oh,” he said. “Um, can you wait until after we—“ 

“No!” Adam blurted before Alex could finish. “I can’t wait. It’s seriously SO bad, like you have no idea!” 

If Adam had been dancing around the whole time he’d been playing with Prudence and Charity, then Alex knew that must have meant he’d been holding it a very long time and that it would be cruel to make him endure it much longer. He just didn’t want anyone to see them leave and think they were ditching. Granted, with how wriggly his poor boyfriend was he doubted anyone would really question where they were headed. “I’ll show you where the restroom is,” he said, pushing back his chair and standing up. 

Adam followed suit, doubling over with a low groan as soon as he was back on his feet. He needed to pee so bad that he was getting kind of dizzy! The room was spinning and his cold sweat was becoming more like a cold shower! 

Alex’s chest hurt as he watched Adam struggle to start walking again. Once they were out of the room, Alex grabbed onto his arm and squeezed it as he led him in the direction of the restroom. Alex knew they were really close, but as he felt Adam trembling beneath his touch he grew concerned that they weren’t close enough. “Why didn’t you say anything?” he asked. 

“I… This is probably dumb, but is it okay to say ‘I need to pee’ in church? Like, is that a sin, or like… Too vulgar, or—“ 

Alex couldn’t help it; He laughed. “Oh— Gosh, Adam… Why in the world would you think that?” 

Adam worried at his lip, “I— I don’t know, I was just really worried I’d do something weird here without realizing it and mess up, and—“ He was interrupted when a long jet of pee hissed into his boxers. “Ahh— Please tell me we’re almost there?” 

“We are, we are!” Alex assured. “And you haven’t messed anything up, I know you’ve never been somewhere like this before, but—“ He stopped himself. ‘Adam feels the same way I do all the time now…’ he realized. That meant, now it was Alex’s turn to show Adam that things weren’t as complicated as he thought. “Everybody’s really friendly and understanding here, they certainly wouldn’t condemn you for asking where the bathroom is…” He finally stopped at a pair of doors. “And they’re right h—“ 

Adam shoved his way through the door to the men’s room and Alex heard him ripping his zipper down before the door even swung shut behind him. ‘Poor thing…’ Alex thought, following him in. Instantly, Alex could hear the forceful splashing of a stream, and felt immense relief when he got further into the room and confirmed that it was hitting a urinal instead of the interior of Adam’s pants. 

Adam was stood at the urinal, his head tipped back and his lips parted in utter relief. The slow drop in pressure taking place within his center felt like an early Christmas present to him. The simple fact that he didn’t have to exert any effort anymore, didn’t have to strain his muscles and could just relax and let his body complete this process on its own was such an immense joy. “Ahhhh….” 

Alex decided he may as well go too and unzipped at the urinal next to Adam’s, a moment later a second stream began to gush away and Alex was shivering. Now that he was peeing, Alex was surprised by how good it felt and realized he must have been needing this a lot more than he’d thought. He’d been so caught up in the festivities he must not have been paying attention. 

Alex’s release tapered off first, which was a bit of a concern to him. Adam had been spraying away before he’d even started going, and now he was still going strong after he’d finished. He hoped Adam hadn’t been holding so much that he’d hurt something…

Adam finally finished a few seconds later, fighting to catch his breath as he zipped he shook his prosthetic out and zipped his pants. “Thank you…” he said. 

“Um… You’re welcome,” Alex said. “You’re good now? Ready to go finish the presents and stuff?” 

“Yes, I’m very good now,” Adam promised.

Link to comment

The camping trip was supposed to have been fun, but ever since night had begun to fall, everything started to go wrong. Adam had severely overestimated his ability to set up a tent. He’d gotten it to stand up eventually, but it was very lopsided. He’d also badly underestimated how hungry hiking through the woods was going to make him and Alex get. They’d eaten nearly all the food that was supposed to last them the entire weekend just in one afternoon. Upon realizing that they hadn’t brought enough supplies they decided they should probably leave. But, then it had started to rain. And not just a little rain, either. It began to pour.

Adam had been busy relieving himself against a tree when the sky split open and released an even bigger flood than the one Adam was letting out. It hadn’t been fun being stuck there, held hostage by his bladder as he tried to get it to finish emptying so he could go inside the tent where it was nice and dry.

But, shortly after he and Alex had gone into the tent, Adam was grateful he wasn’t still holding his pee. Thunder had begun to roar in the distance, and Alex had huddled himself against Adam, trembling harshly and clinging on tight. “Shhh…” Adam kept whispering. It felt nice to have Alex so close to him, but knowing the poor thing was pressed against him due to terror dampened the warmth he felt. “It’s okay… It’s okay… I’m here…”

Adam also felt horribly guilty. This trip had been his idea, and he’d completely neglected to check the weather forecast when he’d been planning it. He just hadn’t even thought about it. It was his fault they were out here in such a bad storm, and it was his fault Alex was so scared. All he could hope to do now was to soothe Alex enough that he maybe managed to fall asleep and ride out the storm. “It should be over in the morning, and then we’ll go home… Try to rest.”

Alex sniffled harshly, burying his face in Adam’s shirt as he continued shaking.

Adam stroked a hand down his back. “I’m right here,” he repeated. “You’re safe.” Adam tried to fall asleep as well, but it was hard to do with all the noise outside and the knowledge that Alex was so upset. He wrapped his arms around his partner and nuzzled him close, clinging to him and trying everything to make him feel safe. “I’ve got you…” he whispered.

Adam’s presence did seem to be comforting Alex, and eventually he stopped crying. Adam wished he would say something. Alex’s silence— apart from his sobs— during all this had been off-putting. “Are you feeling better at all?” Adam asked.

“Mmm…” Alex made a vague sound, that seemed neither positive nor negative. But, he did put his own arms around Adam, squeezing very tightly to him, like he was a life-raft in the middle of a vast ocean.

Even if Alex’s tears eventually stopped flowing, his trembling just kept on coming. If anything, it seemed to be getting worse. Alex shook restlessly in Adam’s arms, continuing to make those feeble, whimpering noises. Adam pressed his lips lightly against Alex’s cheek, “You’re alright…” he said, trying to impart some calm into him, but it didn’t work.

A couple hours passed in this way until Adam started to feel something warm against his leg. He was pretty confused until he heard Alex begin to cry again. “Alex, what’s—“

“I have to go!” Alex sobbed. “I can’t hold it!”

“Go…?” Adam repeated, before realizing what the sudden heat against his leg must have been. He started to sit up, even as Alex failed to let go of him and remained clinging to his body. Poor Alex! He must have been desperate to pee for so long already if he was starting to leak. Adam felt bad that he hadn’t realized the true meaning behind at least SOME of his fidgeting and shivering. “It’s okay,” he said for what must have been the thousandth time that night.

“It’s not,” Alex insisted, tears continuing to flow— But thank goodness his bladder wasn’t still doing the same. “I’m gonna pee my pants because I’m scared, like a baby!”

Adam shook his head, “You’re not a baby,” he promised. He wished Alex had said something a little sooner about needing to go, it pained him to see him so upset when he knew he should have been able to help. “I need you to let go of me, okay?”

Sniffling, Alex did so. He first wrapped his arms around his body for comfort, before jamming his hands between his legs to hold back his flood instead. His eyes squeezed shut and he moaned as he felt fresh heat flare against his palms.

Adam crawled over to his bag and started to rummage through it. He really didn’t want to make Alex go outside in the storm. It was the last thing he’d ever want to do to him. But it was obvious that, one way or another, Alex was going to pee before the storm was over. Adam just had to hope there was somewhere he could do it inside the tent. Other than his pants, anyway.

He found something pretty quickly; One of the large water bottles they’d drained throughout the day. Back when the sun was out and Alex had still felt safe and had been having fun and Adam had been certain nothing could go wrong. He twisted off the cap and Alex’s eyes cracked open when he heard the bottle’s top come off. His eyes widened when he saw it. He wanted nothing more than to relieve his poor, aching bladder into it… “Adam… Nnnh…” He strained as his legs coiled together and he bounced where he sat. “I don’t want to ruin your bottle.”

“Alex, that doesn’t matter right now,” Adam said. “You’re bursting.”

Alex thought he’d been ‘bursting’ a few hours ago. Now, he was pretty much in the process of exploding where he was. Pee was still leaking haphazardly from his bladder, his muscles feeling like they were being yanked and torn apart piece by piece. “You won’t be mad?”

Adam stared at him. In his eyes, Alex was the one who ought to have been mad at him. Adam had been the one that failed to pay attention to the weather forecast and caused Alex to spend a night in the dark woods as thunder roared. “Of course I won’t be, I’ll be more mad if you DON’T go and end up making yourself sick.”

Alex worried at his lip. He knew Adam obviously cared more about HIM than he did about a water bottle, but he was still going to feel bad about this. But first, he knew he was going to feel really, REALLY good. His bladder got ahead of him a bit and sent one more squirt of liquid into his boxers. “Ah! The bottle now, please?!” He whimpered.

Adam tried not to laugh as Alex went from hesitant, reluctant acceptance to eager begging in a matter of seconds. “Of course, here you go.” He placed the bottle in front of Alex and began to turn away.

Alex started lowering his pajama pants, muttering desperate, nonsensical gibberish about how much he needed a pee to himself. “Ohh… Can’t hold it! Gotta go so bad!” He got up onto his knees, positioned the bottle beneath the opening of his prosthetic and—

THOOM!

A loud crash of thunder made Alex jump, and his pelvic muscles tensed. “Ah!” he cried, beginning to shake once more. His eyes had gone wide with fright, and his heart had started to pound. Often, if Alex was startled like that when his bladder was full, he’d pee at least a little bit without meaning to. But, this time, the fear had caused his urine to remain locked inside his body instead. He sniffled as his tears returned and he tried to just relax and do what he had to do.

“Alex?” Adam asked, still facing the opposite direction.

“I’m scared, Adam,” Alex said. “I’m so scared that I can’t pee, and it hurts!”

Adam turned around then, “Shh… Don’t be scared,” he said. “It’s just the weather.”

“I know,” Alex said tearfully. “I’m so stupid.”

“You’re not, shhh…” Adam said. “I’m here, just relax.” He was a little alarmed now himself. While Adam had endured a few instances of his bladder getting stage-fright once it was time for it to do its thing, necessitating him taking slow, deep breaths while thinking very hard about waterfalls, he knew Alex very rarely had this happen. And, Adam knew also, that when it DID happen to Alex, it was scary for him. And, since Alex had already been scared more than enough tonight, Adam really didn’t want him to continue on feeling frightened.

Indeed, when Alex realized his body was going to be disobedient and not release his liquid, he did get scared. Being unable to relax his muscles enough to pee was such a rare occurrence for him that whenever it DID happen, it terrified him. It scared him that he could need to do something really badly and yet find himself incapable of it. It made him worry that that could happen with other body parts too. Like, one day he’d wake up and his lungs wouldn’t want to accept oxygen anymore even as he suffocated.

Adam had told him that that was incredibly unlikely. He’d told him that sometimes people just had a little trouble peeing and it was nothing to be afraid of. But, it still stressed Alex out the rare times it happened to him. And then it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy, because now that he was stressed out because he couldn’t pee, the stress was making it even harder to pee, which made him more stressed, which made it harder to pee. On and on and on.

When another crash of thunder startled him badly, but failed to startle the pee out of him, he began to tear up once again. “Adam…” he cried. “It hurts!” He felt so pathetic, sobbing to his boyfriend who was always so cool and calm and capable. Sobbing to him that he just needed to go pee… He couldn’t believe Adam hadn’t realized how unworthy he was of him yet.

“Shhh…” Adam hushed again. “I know…” He had one idea of something that may help Alex settle down and find the comfort he needed, but he wasn’t sure if Alex would want physical contact from him while he tried to do something so private. Still, he asked anyway. “Do you want me to hold you again?”

Alex remembered how soothed he had been at first by having Adam’s arms around him while he’d tried to sleep through the storm, feeling his body heat and hearing his breath. Up until his bladder had announced its intention to explode, Alex had been as comfortable as he could hope to get… “Yes, please,” he said.

“Okay,” Adam said. “No problem.” He crawled behind Alex, sat up onto his knees and gently held onto him, stroking a hand down Alex’s stomach. Adam almost jumped when his palm ran over the strange, hard lump in Alex’s lower belly. That hadn’t been there before. And Alex whimpered loudly at the contact, like it was causing him pain. ‘Holy shit, is that his bladder?’ Adam thought, his heart beginning to pound. THAT could not have been good for Alex’s health. “Sorry…” Adam whispered, moving his hand up higher and rubbing a soothing circle into Alex’s stomach.

If that solid swell in Alex’s center really WAS his bladder—Adam couldn’t think of anything else it could possibly be— Adam was concerned about if the bottle would even be big enough. It was a bottle meant for use at a gym, so it held an entire liter. Adam just had to hope Alex’s bladder couldn’t ALSO hold that much. Making the poor thing stop midstream so Adam could get him a second bottle would be brutal.

But, before he worried about the capacity of Alex’s bladder, Adam had to worry about getting it to empty out at all. Alex still hadn’t started to pee, and his choppy, panicked breaths were very loud to Adam now thanks to their close proximity. “Shhhhh…” Adam said, still stroking Alex’s belly. “Relax…”

“It hurts so bad, Adam,” Alex moaned.

“I know…” Adam said.

“I’m scared, what if it never comes out?” Alex asked.

“It WILL come out, I promise,” Adam said, hoping he wasn’t going to end up having to take Alex to a doctor to make that happen. He didn’t mention that to Alex though, planting the idea in his mind that this could result in hospitalization would do absolutely nothing to help him now.

Adam tried to think of something that WOULD help, and remembered an early Saturday morning a few months ago. He and Alex had woken up and had had nowhere to go, so they stayed in bed and cuddled for a while. Then they started to roughhouse with each other a bit, and at one point Adam had Alex pinned against the bed and was tickling him in every spot he could reach. He’d had no idea Alex was so ticklish, but no matter where Adam tried, Alex would laugh and snort and Adam’s heart would flutter at the sound. But, then Alex suddenly stopped laughing so hard and his face turned very pale. “Ahah— Adam—Adam, STOP. STOP NOW.”

Adam was unused to hearing Alex speak in such a firm, serious tone of voice, so he immediately stopped and backed away. “What’s the matter, did I pinch y—“

Alex immediately bolted to his feet, his hands between his legs, and a wet patch growing over the crotch on his pajama bottoms. Adam realized then that he’d made Alex laugh way harder than a person should before they’d had their morning pee.

When Alex came back from the restroom, red in the face and trying to catch his breath, Adam wasn’t sure if he should apologize or pretend it hadn’t happened. Alex seemed keen on not acknowledging it, so Adam didn’t either.

Remembering it now, Adam thought that maybe if he made Alex laugh again, he’d finally go. “Um… Remember that morning I tickled you too much?” He asked.

Alex somehow managed to go tenser. He definitely remembered it. And, he’d thought that since Adam hadn’t said anything to him about it after he’d relieved himself, that the other hadn’t noticed how he’d nearly had an accident. Apparently not, though. “Y—Yes…”

“Well, you’re having… trouble now. Maybe if I do it again…?” Adam trailed off.

Alex was willing to try anything to get his bladder to drain. “Okay,” he said.

And Adam began to lightly tickle Alex’s belly. He didn’t want to put Alex into hysterics, if he got him rolling around and flailing like he’d been that morning then if he DID start peeing, Adam doubted much of it would end up in the bottle where it belonged.

It was enough to get Alex laughing though, his body shaking even through the pain still swelling his abdomen. After only a few seconds, Alex’s bladder broke open and his stream spilled forth. It really spilled, hitting the material of the sleeping bag at first. “Heheh—Adam stop, I’m—Haha—I’m going!— I gotta aim!”

Adam stilled his hands and just continued to hold Alex as the other corrected his aim so that his stream hissed and poured into the bottle. Once the sound of liquid loudly splashing against plastic became audible, both of them let out sighs of relief. Adam because he was so happy Alex was all better now and had overcome his nervous bladder, and Alex because… Well, he was finally PEEING.

“Ahhhh…” Alex moaned, finally from pleasure instead of agony. He felt his bladder starting to shrink down, pressure fading as all the liquid he’d been made to restrain inside himself was finally being ejected.

Adam felt weird hugging onto Alex like this while he was urinating. It didn’t gross him out or anything, Alex couldn’t help this after all. It just— Well, it was such a personal, private thing to do, and so having him resting in his arms as he did it felt unusual. After a few moments of Alex letting out relieved, steadying breaths, Adam realized that it didn’t feel unusual in a bad way. Alex must have trusted him a whole awful lot to feel comfortable enough to do this in his arms.

Then, Alex started to shiver, and Adam felt the way his body shook all up and down his spine. This wasn’t like the terrified shaking he’d been doing earlier, this was obviously something much more pleased. Alex kept shivering and shuddering with the relief of it all, and Adam felt every jolt of it. It made him feel like he was experiencing Alex’s relief for himself.

After Alex had been spraying away for a bit, Adam knew he had to ask. “Um… Keep an eye on the bottle, okay? Make sure you don’t overflow.”

“Ahhh…” Alex sighed in response. “It’s not full yet…” his voice was soft and light and breathy. “An’ I’m almost done…” After a few final spurts, he was empty and started to pull his pants back up before closing the bottle, one last shiver passing through him as he did so. He scooted back onto his sleeping bag, now starting to blush as he remembered all the crying and whining he’d done earlier. “I’m sorry…” he said. “I’m so weak.”

Adam crawled over to pick up the bottle. “Um… No,” he said as his eyes widened. “Alex, I’d say you’re actually really, really strong.”

“I’m not… I cried because I had to pee, I’m—“

“Well, you were holding almost an entire liter,” Adam said. The bottle was nearly filled to the top, only a tiny bit of space left inside it. “So, I’d be more surprised if you DIDN’T cry… That must have hurt.”

“It really did… Is that a lot?” Alex asked.

“Yeah,” Adam said. “And, I’d say the fact you actually kept that in you for so long means you’re super strong.”

Link to comment

Alex’s top surgery and his recovery had gone wonderfully! The moment the bandages had come off and Alex finally got a good look at his new, perfect body, he’d very nearly cried with happiness. He looked just like how he did in his best dreams. He no longer had to change his shirts in the dark, or feel scared whenever someone bumped against his chest. Adam could touch him anywhere now, and it would feel good! Front-hugs wouldn’t be uncomfortable anymore, swimming would be so much easier… And, best of all, he knew that from now on when he looked in a mirror, he would like everything that he saw there. 

He had a new appreciation for his body now. When he’d gotten the chance, he’d taken off his clothes in the bathroom and just looked at himself. The shape of his hips was still a little wonky, he was still shorter than the average person, he still had that embarrassing birthmark on the left side of his butt, he still had a bit of unwanted roundness around his stomach… But, none of that bothered him like it once did. His body was his. It finally felt like HIS body, these little flaws and all. 

Adam opened the door to the restroom and jumped slightly. “O—Oh, sorry. Didn’t know you were in here.” 

Alex blushed. Instinctively, he reached to cover his chest. Then felt like an idiot. The whole reason he was so happy was because there wasn’t a problem with his chest anymore. No reason to hide it. “H—Hey, Adam…” 

Adam stepped in. “Alex, you look amazing, you know that?” 

“I FEEL amazing,” Alex nodded. 

“I mean, you were hot before,” Adam said. “But now… Jeez, Alex. I never noticed how buff your shoulders are!” 

Alex smiled, “Eheh… You like?” 

“I love,” Adam said. “You’re so… You’re a REALLY good-looking guy, Alex. Can’t believe I get to have you all to myself. I’m so lucky.” 

Alex knew he was turning even redder. He’d always felt unworthy of Adam. Adam was so cool, and knowledgable and capable. And Alex just… Wasn’t. “I love you,” Alex said. “I wouldn’t even be ME if it wasn’t for you. I’d still be trying to force myself to be what Papa wanted and not even understanding why it all felt so wrong.” He felt awkward having this conversation with his clothes off, but he could tell by Adam’s blushing and staring that he didn’t mind the view. He DID notice Adam was rocking on his feet a little for some reason though. “Why… Why do you like me?” 

“Because you’re the sweetest, most kind, most understanding and open-minded person I have ever known,” Adam said, crossing one leg over the other. “And, the fact you turned out this way when you were brought up by people trying to make you the complete opposite means you’re the strongest person I’ve ever known, too. I could never love anyone as much as I love you.” 

“Even though I need help with stuff all the time?” 

“Part of being together is helping one another,” Adam assured, uncrossing his legs and recrossing them the other way. “Taking care of one another. I love seeing you learn and discover new things, it makes me feel like I’m seeing them in a whole new way.”

Alex smiled, “I have a lot of fun learning stuff with y—“ he stopped, realizing that Adam wasn’t staring at HIM as much anymore. His gaze kept flicking to the toilet he was blocking. “Oh, right. You… Came in here because you need to go, didn’t you?” 

“Yeah…” Adam said with a blush. “You… Distracted me. But. Yeah. I really have to—“ 

Alex stepped out of his way. 

Adam felt a little awkward unzipping and pulling himself out in front of Alex. He knew he shouldn’t have since they peed together so often, but it still felt weird doing it when he was the only one peeing. It actually took him a few extra seconds to get started. “Ahhh…” he sighed as his stream released. “We should go out to dinner tonight to celebrate your surgery,” he said. 

“Okay!” Alex agreed happily. 

So, that was what they did. They went out to a nice restaurant and had a very, very nice dinner. Alex had ordered some chicken wings, but he had no idea what made ‘jerk chicken’ special until he’d taken a bite and his tastebuds caught fire. The flavor was very, very good. But, it was also the spiciest thing Alex had ever tasted. Immediately, his eyes were wide and his brow was sweating. “Oh, hot…” he said, poking his tongue out and reaching for his water glass. 

“You okay?” Adam asked, looking up from his own plate of food. 

“Not… Not used to spicy stuff,” Alex said. He’d tried hot potato chips before, but they couldn’t compare to whatever spices were on those wings. 

“Do you still like them?” 

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. “They taste good, just… wasn’t expecting them to be so hot.” He took another bite. Again, the meat was delicious and the flavor was intense… But, the heat made him feel like steam was going to come out of his ears. After every bite, he swallowed a few more mouth fulls of water, and he had to continually get up to refill his glass. 

Adam watched his boyfriend’s face turning pink and blotchy, watched as sweat went down his face in rivers, watched as he chugged down more and more fluid… “I think… I think, like, ranch dressing can cool down spicy foods some. Maybe I can ask if they’ve got some of that to dip those in?” 

“N—No,” Alex said. “It’s weird, but I… I think I like that it burns? Is that bad?” 

Adam cracked up. “Well, no. It’s not bad. Just means we found one more new thing you enjoy.” 

Alex nodded, “I really like this,” he agreed. He took another bite, and washed it down with another half a glass of water. “It hurts, but… It hurts in a good way. I don’t know. My mouth’s all tingly.” 

Adam smiled, “Heh, well if you like spicy foods I know a few recipes. Just never tried them with you because I didn’t think you’d enjoy that.” 

“Make them all,” Alex suggested. 

“Of course, sweet thing.” 

By the time they’d finished eating and had paid, Adam had lost track of how much water Alex had gulped down. He’d finished every last bit of his food though, and Adam had even noticed him trying to discreetly lick his fingers off without anyone seeing. It had made his chest feel warm. He’d meant what he’d said; he loved seeing Alex discover new things, especially when he ended up really enjoying them. “Ready to go?” Adam asked. 

Alex nodded and stood up. Now that he was on his feet and no longer distracted by eating or by having a conversation, he was able to better recognize a VERY pressing need he’d been ignoring. It was only a half hour drive back home, but Alex did NOT think he could make that. “O—Oooh… Adam, I… I gotta go before we leave, is that okay?” 

Adam wasn’t surprised. Alex had drank so much water that he ought to have been growing gills. “Of course that’s okay. I kinda need to go too,” he said. 

The two headed to the bathroom in the back of the restaurant, and while Adam’s bladder was empty in around twenty seconds, Alex continued to gush into the urinal for almost an entire minute, shivering the whole time. He stepped back and zipped up, exhaling. “Ahhh, wow. I really needed that…” 

Adam nodded. It sure was a good thing Alex had done that before they left… No way would he have made it home holding so much… 

*** 

“Adam, I don’t think I’m gonna make it!” Alex moaned, bouncing up and down in his seat. One of his hands was gripping onto his seatbelt, trying to pull it away from his entirely too full bladder, while the other one was wedged firmly between his legs. “I can’t hold it!” 

“You can do it!” Adam encouraged. “We’re almost home! Just a few more minutes!” 

“Can’t wait…” Alex chanted to himself miserably. “Can’t wait, can’t wait, can’t wait!” His hips wriggled, his thighs clenched themselves together, and his legs scissored back and forth so fast they were little more than a blur. He couldn’t believe he had to go this bad again already! He just couldn’t! It could not have been more than twenty minutes since he’d last relieved his bladder, but apparently that was just enough time for his kidneys to dump another gallon of liquid down into it. “Ooooh!” he whimpered. “Hurry… Hurry, please hurry up?!” 

“I’m going as fast as I can,” Adam assured. His eyes scanned the surrounding area, searching for a gas station or a particularly dense patch of foliage in which Alex could empty himself out, but there was nothing. They were already in their neighborhood, the only buildings were homes or apartment complexes belonging to people Adam wasn’t familiar enough with to go knocking on the doors of. The only bushes were growing out in those people’s yards, and even with as desperate to pee as poor Alex clearly was, he’d never be willing to do it on someone else’s property like that. He’d be terrified of the owner seeing and getting angry, maybe even calling the police… “Just a few more streets, alright Alex? Just a few more, I promise.” 

Adam was scared that even that little bit of distance would prove to be too much… And then, of course, Alex would have to climb up the stairs to their apartment. Adam had had to reach the apartment while carting a full bladder plenty of times to know it wasn’t a fun experience. He’d had a few instances of quick, embarrassing little dribbles on those steps and knew there was a very slim chance of Alex reaching the toilet completely dry— Hell, he may have leaked a tiny bit already. 

“Nnnnhhh,” Alex whined harshly in the back of his throat. “I’m never drinking that much again!” He’d been mostly doubled over for the last ten minutes, but now he threw himself backwards against his seat, leaning his head back to stare up at the ceiling and hiss out a fierce, pained gust of air through his clenched teeth. 

Adam felt terrible of course, even though there was nothing he could have done. He’d done everything he could have to prevent this. He’d taken Alex for a pee right before they’d left the restaurant, and he’d thought that would be enough to tide his bladder over until they were home, but clearly it wasn’t. He’d never before seen anyone get THIS desperate for a piss so soon after just taking one, but he’d also never before seen anyone drink THAT much in such a short period of time… “Almost there,” he kept repeating, and he was no longer sure if he was trying to reassure Alex or himself. “Almost there, almost there…” 

“Hurrrryyyyyy!” Alex begged. He stopped fiddling with his seatbelt and held himself with both hands. When the car went over a speed bump, a splash of pee wet his boxers and tears joined the sweat that had been cascading down his face. 

Adam made one final turn, and they were in the parking lot for their building. He quickly found a vacant spot to leave the car, thankfully one very close to the apartment. He shut the car off and turned to Alex. “You made it!” he said. “We’re here!” 

Alex frantically tore off his seatbelt and flung open the door, throwing himself outside… He regretted his harsh, hasty movements when his feet hit the ground and sent a ripple of sheer, needy pain through his bladder, which responded by ejecting yet another spurt into his boxers. “Ahh—! Adam, I can’t wait anymore, it’s coming out!” 

Adam got out of the car and frantically looked back and forth. The stairway leading to their apartment was pretty dark this late in the evening… Though, Alex would be mortified with shame once his head cleared and he realized what a big puddle he’d left on the steps. There were bushes outside the building. And, hey, a few of them were turning kind of brown and could maybe actually USE a bit of ‘watering’… 

The complex DID have security cameras though. Would they be in trouble if Alex released his flood on the plants? Even if they were just met with a light reprimand, Adam knew Alex would be in tears after being called out for his desperate act… 

Alex. had begun to head in the direction of the apartment, but had stopped at the foot of the stairs. He was hopping up and down, more or less skipping in place there, then he went very, very still and crumpled in on himself. Adam hurried over, afraid that he’d started to have a total accident. But, when he reached his partner, he was miraculously still dry. 

“I can’t do the stairs, Adam,” Alex moaned tearfully. “I can’t, or else I’ll—“ 

Adam looked at the staircase, then back at Alex. He and Alex were about the same size. They were EXACTLY the same height, and Adam was only very, very slightly broader than Alex. Adam HAD been trying to work out a little bit more lately, and he could now exercise with twenty pound weights for quite a while before he got too worn out… Alex no doubt weighed a LOT more than that, and Adam’s weights had never been squirming and twisting as he’d lifted them, but it was a short walk up the stairs. And Alex needed him. Adam liked to think he was ALWAYS strong enough to be what Alex needed. “Would it help if I carried you?” 

Alex uncrossed his legs for a moment, then urgently crossed them back in the other direction as Adam picked up on a very, very quiet hissing noise that he tried his best not to acknowledge. “I can’t go up the stairs…” he repeated. 

“Okay, I’ll get you up them,” Adam said. “You’ll be alright.” 

“Mmmf,” Alex made a vague sound as he nodded, but didn’t look certain of this at all. “But, Adam… What if I— What if— And you’re holding me!” 

Adam really HOPED Alex didn’t end up losing the fight against his bladder while in his arms. He wouldn’t be angry if Alex DID do that, of course. He’d know he certainly hadn’t done it on purpose. Still, one of their rabbits had had a little accident while in Adam’s lap once and that hadn’t felt particularly good… And, unlike a rabbit, Alex would be incredibly upset and humiliated if he not only wet his pants, but drenched someone else along with him. Adam didn’t want Alex to have to suffer through the embarrassment and mortification of all that, he’d be devastated! “If you… Do that,” Adam said. “Then, that’s just an excuse for us to shower together, right?” 

Alex’s teeth sunk into his lip, which he’d already chewed raw and red while they’d been in the car. “You won’t be mad?” 

“Of course not,” Adam said. “I’d just feel bad that you were in so much pain your body couldn’t handle it anymore.” 

Alex swayed on his feet uncertainly, looking up at the staircase. His bladder convulsed and shook just at the sight of it, pounding and pounding away inside him. He shook his head. “I can’t. I’ll… I’ll go. I need you.” 

“Okay,” Adam said. “On the count of three… One… Two…” 

On three, Alex’s world tilted, his legs were flung into the air and Adam’s arm wrapped around his back. “Hnnnng!!” he moaned, an urgent, uncontainable jet of urine spraying through his trembling muscles. He tried to hold as still as he could to make Adam’s job easier, but his hips continued to twist back and forth, hands kneading themselves into his crotch. The unwanted spurt of pee quickly grew into a shuddering stream. “Hurry!” he begged. 

And, Adam did. Alex was heavy, and it felt awkward carrying someone that was the same size as him, but Adam was surprised at how easy it was after a few steps. “I’ve got you,” he said. “You’re gonna make it. Almost there. Almost there.” He tried to pretend he hadn’t noticed the sound of Alex’s pee soaking into his boxers. 

As Adam carried him up the stairs, Alex’s bladder sloshed back and forth with the movement. But, he was still pretty sure this wasn’t as painful as trying to traverse them on his own would be. When they reached their apartment, Adam set Alex down as gently as he could, but even though the impact of his feet touching the ground was very light, it was still enough to send a searing, bright hot bolt of pain into his bladder. “I’m— I’m gonna—“ 

Adam hurriedly yanked out the key and unlocked the door in record time. He flung it open and held it in place for Alex to limp his way through. “You made it,” Adam told him. “You made it…” 

Thank goodness the bathroom was so close to the door… Alex hurried into it, not bothering to shut the door behind himself. There was no time for that, not when he’d already started to have an accident. Bobbing in place and jumping from side to side in front of the toilet, he tore down his zipper and freed his prosthetic. He actually carried on squirming a little as his pee hissed out. He blinked away a few tears as it registered to him that he’d finally made it. He was stood at the toilet, peeing away. He didn’t have to hold anything anymore. He could finally relax. When he at last accepted that he was safe and free and that everything was better, he started to shiver. “Mmmm…” he hummed out a satisfied breath. 

His pee stream was incredibly clear. Not even a hint of yellow coloration. It was like he was peeing out pure water… It splashed and hissed into the bowl and Alex felt so, so much better… Once he’d finally stopped pouring, he tucked himself back into his shorts and zipped up. “Phew…” he exhaled. That was close! 

Adam entered the restroom. He’d been waiting right outside the door. He knew it was maybe a little silly to wait for Alex out in the hall when Alex relieved himself in front of him so often, and they shared the toilet at least once a week, but he still felt weird about watching Alex at the climax of such a private catastrophe. “You okay?” 

Alex nodded. “Sorry… I… Sorry I made you carry me like that.” 

“Don’t be sorry,” Adam said. “I offered to do it, didn’t I? And now my sweet thing is all better!” He stepped closer to Alex and reached up to wipe a tear off his cheek. “Isn’t he?” 

Alex blushed and laughed under his breath, “Heh… Yeah, I am a lot better,” he agreed. “Um… Even though I didn’t… Um… Do you still want to shower together?” 

“I’d love to,” Adam said. “You need something to help you relax after all that!” 

The shower did help Alex relax. He loved showering with Adam a LOT. And, now that he’d gotten his chest fixed, he liked it even more because there wasn’t anything that got in the way of their fun. Alex loved it when Adam rubbed soap over his body for him. He loved it when Adam lightly kissed his way down his back. And, after surgery, he’d discovered that one thing he really, REALLY loved was how it felt when Adam rubbed his nipples. 

It was so strange. Before, when his chest had been all wrong and had hurt him to look at, if Adam accidentally touched him there— even through his clothes— he would tense up and get that icky, bad twisting feeling… But, now that his body looked how it was supposed to, having Adam stroke around his nipples made him break out into moans so perverse he could barely believe they were coming out of his mouth. It felt so good to have Adam run his hands down Alex’s nice, flat, smooth chest. It felt so right. 

Partway through the shower though, Alex had to pee yet again. The fault of all the running water, no doubt. “Adam…” Alex mumbled into his partner’s mouth mid-kiss. “I— I need to… Go. Again.” 

Adam pulled back, “Just let it out, we’re in the shower,” he said. “No big deal.” 

Alex had peed in the shower lots of times, he just usually tried NOT to if Adam was in here with him. But, if Adam didn’t mind… Alex spread his legs apart slightly and relaxed, another clear stream of pee trickling out of him and making him shiver in spite of the warm water pelting him. 

Adam did watch as his boyfriend relieved himself this time. It was a little hard not to given their close proximity. He was a little startled by how long his boyfriend’s release lasted, considering he’d only just gone… That had certainly been too much water at the restaurant. Poor thing was probably gonna be peeing all night… 

Well, at least he was at home now. A toilet would be easily available until all that fluid finally finished flushing out of him. 

Once they’d finished getting ready for bed, the two each had one last pee before sleep, this time choosing to go together even though neither of them had been in a particularly severe state of need. This habit of theirs of sharing the toilet had started because sometimes they just couldn’t wait on each other to finish, it was just a necessity. But, at some point it had begun to feel… So intimate. Doing such a private thing in each other’s company made them feel closer and closer to one another. Neither one had ever said as much, both thinking that it was too strange to talk about, but even if they never spoke of it, neither thought they’d stop doing this any time soon. 

Both now with freshly emptied bladders, the pair climbed into bed. “Goodnight, sweet thing…” Adam said, kissing Alex on the cheek. “I love you.” 
Alex’s body warmed. He was surprised at how good Adam’s kisses still made him feel, even after having received so many… “I love you, too.” 

*** 

This was the longest bathroom line Alex had ever seen. And, of course, he and Adam had to be stuck at the very, very end of it. And, of course, he had to be holding what felt like thirty seven lake’s worth of pee. And, of course, there had to be a trickling, decorative fountain not too far away. 

Alex’s hands were clinging onto Adam’s arm, his nails leaving little indentations in his skin, but he couldn’t help it. He had to squeeze SOMETHING and he didn’t want to hold himself in public if he could help it. “Adam…” he whispered. “I can’t hold it!” 

“I’m sorry…” Adam said. “I wish there was something I could do… But, you heard what they said, only one of the urinals is working right now.” 

“They need to fix the other ones!” Alex whined. “I’m gonna explode!” 

“Just… Just try to hang on,” Adam said. “There’s nowhere else to go. It will be your turn soon enough, I promise.” 

Unless Alex’s turn came in the next ten seconds, then no. It wouldn’t be his turn ‘soon enough’. He hopped from foot to foot before leaning himself into Adam. “I can’t wait…” 

“Just… Try your best,” Adam said. “You’ll be okay.” 

Alex didn’t think he’d be okay at all! His insides felt all engorged and stretched out. His bladder HURT. His urethra was BURNING. He felt horrible pressure all throughout his body, intense fullness swelling every nook and cranny in him. And the line was barely MOVING. 

It hadn’t moved at ALL for a few minutes, and then a man left the bathroom, sighing very loudly, “Ahhh… Did NOT think I was gonna make that…” he said softly, just barely loud enough for Alex to hear. Those words were like a mallet to Alex’s bladder, striking it and making it shoot out a little squirt of its burden. “Adam, I can’t hold it!” he said yet again. “I’m… I’m gonna— Please, find me somewhere else? Please? I’ll go anywhere!” He released Adam’s arm from his grip and tucked his hands between his legs. He didn’t care about looking decent in public anymore. Flooding his pants here would be a whole lot worse than holding himself. 

Adam craned his neck to get a better view of the line, then shook his head. “I… I guess you can’t wait through this…” he admitted. “Don’t worry, I’ll find you somewhere.” He led Alex away from the line and past the giant fountain. As liquid spurted in heavy streams from its openings, liquid tried to do the same thing through Alex’s own opening… He doubled over on himself and moaned, imagining himself jumping into the fountain, sitting down and just letting it all flow into his pants without anyone being able to tell. 

“Maybe I can go in the fountain!” Alex said to Adam. “Please, Adam?” 

Adam seemed to consider it, but then he said “No, look…” he gestured to a sign next to the fountain Alex hadn’t seen before. 

‘NO PLAYING IN THE FOUNTAIN. PENALTY; FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR FINE.’ 

Well. That was a little… Disproportionate, Alex thought. He wanted to argue that he wasn’t going to play in it, just pee, but THAT would probably result in an even bigger fine if he was caught. 

“I’ll find you somewhere better, don’t worry.” Adam stated once more, and they were off walking again— Or, stumbling in Alex’s case. It was not easy to walk and cross his legs at the same time. He wished he could fly… Or teleport. That would be nice. He’d teleport himself inside a restroom, right in front of a urinal, and then he’d go and go and— 

Hss! 

Alex’s legs snapped together as his all too tantalizing fantasy coaxed out a short spurt of his burden. “Oooh!” 

Adam put an arm around him. “Alex? I think we’re the only people here. So, if you can’t wait…” 

Alex looked up. He was in a big, grassy field now. Apparently, Adam had led him outside and he’d just been so caught up in his desperation that he hadn’t noticed. But, that didn’t matter. They were outside, alone. And when they were outside, alone, Alex could just… unzip and pee! He squeezed his eyes shut as his hand went to his zipper and began to tug it down— 

“Heh, sweet thing… What are you doing?” Adam asked. 

“I can’t wait anymore! I gotta do it here!” Alex cried out, his hips twisting and legs shaking. 

“Um… You can’d do it here, silly,” Adam said. “I promise, we’ll get off at the next stop and find you somewhere.” 

Alex’s eyes popped back open and he realized that they were now on a bus. A very, very crowded bus. He couldn’t believe he’d almost whipped it out and pissed onto the floor in front of all these people! “Wha— Where’d the field go?” he demanded in confusion. 

“What field?” Adam asked. “Look, I know we’ve been on here a long time, and I know you REALLY have to go, but you’ve gotta hold it for now, okay?” 

Alex nodded miserably. He wanted to be back in the field… The field had been filled with the promise of relief… This bus was filled with the promise of desperation, pain, accidents and humiliation. 

The bus came to a stop. “Alright,” Adam said. “Come on, time to get you to a toilet.” 

Alex allowed Adam to lead him from the bus, allowed Adam to maneuver him down the sidewalk, allowed Adam to take him into a store, and stood there, dancing quietly as Adam asked; “Hey, is there a bathroom we can use, please?” 

The man behind the counter shook his head. “Bathroom’s for customers only,” he said gruffly. 

“I understand, but it’s an emergency,” Adam said. “We were just on a bus for seventeen hours.” 

‘Seventeen hours!?’ Alex thought. Wow! No wonder he was about to blow! Weird that Adam didn’t seem to need to go as well… “Pl—Please?” Alex squeaked. “I promise I’ll be fast!” 
“No,” the man said. 

“Fine,” Adam said. “I’ll buy something. What can I get for—“ 

“I don’t even serve your kind here,” the man interrupted. 

And now he’d done it. Now, Adam was mad. Alex could tell from the way his back straightened and his chest puffed out. “The Hell does that mean? Our kind?” 

“Queers,” the man said. “Why would I let you use the bathroom here when you don’t even know which bathroom to use?” 

Now, Alex was both scared right down to his bones, and so full of pee he could feel it all the way up to his ribcage. He shook from much more than desperation. What had he done wrong? His voice had cracked a lot when he’d begged for the toilet, was that it? Was it his long hair? But, lots of guys had long hair, right? Alex LIKED his long hair! Was it because he was too short? Lots of guys were short, too! 

“You know discrimination is illegal, right?” Adam asked. “I could report you.” 

“Don’t care,” the man said. “I don’t need a couple of freaks in my store, get the Hell out.” 

Alex was trying so hard not to leak. But, his body wanted to leak from everywhere. His body wanted him to cry. His body wanted him to pee… “C—Come on, Adam,” Alex said. 

“Yeah,” Adam said. “Screw this guy, he’s a piece of shit…” He took Alex by the arm and led him back out. “You know what?” he said. “Go pee on the wall. He deserves it.” 

Alex didn’t have to be told twice, he scrambled around to the back of the building. “Come keep watch for me, okay?” he asked, fighting with his zip. 

“Of course,” Adam said, standing himself at Alex’s back. 

Alex’s bladder already felt light and loose as he lowered his zip… Finally, relief… Beautiful, beautiful relief at long, long last… 

But, then when he started to pull himself out, the wall in front of him was gone. There was nothing for him to release his bladder onto. He was staring straight down at some carpet… Some very, very familiar carpet. 

“She was talking to the neighbor again Papa,” Alex heard his sister Patience saying. “I saw her.” 

It took him a few seconds of bleary confusion to realize that when Patience said ‘she’, she was referring to him. The neighbor was, of course, Adam. When Alex looked down again, he wasn’t himself anymore. He was the person he’d pretended to be at his old home. His chest was back to the way it had been before, and he wasn’t even wearing anything to help flatten it. He WAS wearing a long skirt, and when he opened his mouth, and spoke, his voice sounded high and airy. “Wh—Where’s Adam?” he asked. “What happened to me?” 

Papa was looking at him now, “She corrupted you, that’s what happened to you. And you won’t be seeing her ever again.” 

Again, it took Alex several seconds to figure out that ‘she’ referred to Adam. “He didn’t!” Alex said. “Why am I back here again? I left!” 

“You didn’t leave,” Papa said. “You’re never leaving. I won’t allow it.” 

Alex took several terrified steps back, tripping over his long skirt, and needing to steady himself against a wall. The sudden jolt reminded him of his need for the bathroom and he put a hand between his legs. He was startled when he didn’t feel his prosthetic, but realized he should have expected that. “Y—You’re lying! I did leave! I left, and I’m never coming back!” 

“Young lady,” Papa raised his voice. “You have no right talking back to me, and don’t you dare touch yourself like some kind of heathen.” 

Alex couldn’t let go of himself though. If he did, he’d pee, and that would make Papa even madder. “And— And Adam didn’t corrupt me! You did! Adam’s only ever told me the truth, and all you’ve ever done is lie!” 

Papa reached forward and grabbed him by the arm, “In your room,” he snarled, dragging him off. He took Alex back to his old room and shoved him in. Alex heard the lock click on the other side and knew he would not be seeing a toilet any time soon. Tears fell from his eyes and momentarily blinded him. Once they cleared, he was no longer in his old home. His Papa was gone. He was laying on a blanket in the grass.

Alex hurriedly sat up and looked down at himself. His body was back. HIS body. His real one. He was wearing the clothes he liked, and when he felt around his front, his prosthetic was back. And Adam was beside him. Immediately, Alex turned and hugged him. 

“Aww…” Adam said, nuzzling him. “Did you have a nice nap?” 

“I had a nightmare,” Alex said. “I was back at the old place, and Papa was telling me I never really left, and—“ 

“You DID leave,” Adam reassured. “You’re right here with me now, and you never, ever have to go back…” He gave Alex a soft kiss on the cheek. “Don’t worry…” He stroked Alex’s arm. “Poor thing, you’re shaking! That must have been a really bad dream!” 

Alex nodded, “It was awful!” he said. “My body was all wrong again. And, Papa was shouting. And I…” The pressure from his bladder returned full force. “I also had to go to the bathroom really, really bad. And I still do.” 

“Oh,” Adam said. “Well, that’s the only part of the dream that was real. Do you want me to take you now?” 

Alex nodded, “I’m gonna burst!” he insisted, pressing his hands back against his crotch and shimmying his hips, jiggling where he sat. 

“No problem,” Adam said. “There probably won’t be much of a line since the show’s about to start…” He stood and held out his hand for Alex, whom finally remembered then that they were at an outdoor music festival. Oh, he hoped that didn’t mean he was gonna have to use a gross portable toilet… Even if he didn’t have to sit down on it, the smell was still awful to have to endure. 

Alex took Adam’s hand in his own and gently stood. Standing made it even more apparent just how badly he needed to go. “Is it close?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Adam promised. “Come on…” He gently helped Alex traverse the crowd in such a way that he didn’t get knocked around too much, and his bladder didn’t get TOO angry with all the jostling. Once they were out of the crowd, they were standing in front of a small building with two doors, one with a blue stickman and the other with a pink one. Good. Actual, flushing toilets. And not second too soon. 

“I’ve kinda gotta go too,” Adam said, opening the door to the men’s room and stepping inside. Alex followed after, very eager to make use of what was in there. “That’s weird…” Adam said. 

“What’s weird?” Alex asked, peeking around Adam. He understood then. There wasn’t anything in here Alex could empty out into. There were marks on the floors where the stalls and toilets used to be, but that was all. Where the urinals and sinks once were, there were now just protruding, leaky pipes. And boy were those leaky pipes loud! Every drip, drip, drip that plinked out of them seemed to cause another new drip to be added to the ocean already being contained in Alex’s bladder. “Adam… It’s an emergency!” he said. 

Adam had started to rock back and forth, “Oh, yeah. It definitely is. I’m seriously bursting all of the sudden.” He jiggled and crossed his legs, dancing an awful lot for someone that had seemed perfectly fine a few seconds ago. 

‘The leaky pipes must be bugging him, too,’ Alex thought, coiling his legs together and leaning against the wall for support. 

“Maybe the women’s room is better?” Adam suggested. 

“We’ll get in trouble!” Alex said. 

Adam shrugged, “Like you said, it’s an emergency,” he reminded. “Besides, the kind of person who’d get mad at us for being in there is the same kind of person that would say we should be FORCED to go in there if they knew we were trans. Isn’t that kinda funny?” 

Alex didn’t think anything was funny right now. He needed the bathroom too badly to find humor in anything. “I— I don’t— I just need to GO, Adam…” 

“I know, I know,” Adam said. And the two left this room and tried the women’s side instead. They did not have better luck there. Again, the bathroom had been dismantled. No toilets to pee into, not even any sinks to use as a last resort. 

“Adam, I’m gonna have an accident,” Alex admitted miserably. It felt like he’d been holding it for DAYS. No doubt the result of his VERY elaborate pee dream from earlier. 

“We’ll find somewhere,” Adam said, exiting the room. 

But, they didn’t. They looked for a toilet for what felt like hours. They tried just relieving themselves on the grass or behind a bush, but no matter where they went there was always someone watching, someone who would yell at them that they were absolutely NOT allowed to pee outside here. Through it all, Alex’s misery grew and grew and Adam’s pee dances became more and more obvious. 

Alex leaked several times, but he always managed to hold back the massive flood that constantly felt like it was JUST about to come pouring out. When he looked down at himself, his bladder was swollen. Seriously. Swollen. EXTREMELY swollen. His lower abdomen was protruding out several inches, his shirt no longer able to cover it. He looked like a watermelon was growing in his belly— Something Alex had believed was actually possible until a few months ago when he’d swallowed a seed, promptly freaked out, and had needed Adam to tell him that that was a myth. 

The memory made him laugh, and laughing made more pee squirt into his boxers. He cringed and doubled over before falling to his knees. He couldn’t take much more of this… 

*** 

Adam knew he was dreaming. He knew he was dreaming because he was flying, and of course that could only happen in a dream. It was fun to be able to tell that he was in a dream, because he could make whatever he wanted to have happen actually happen. Like, if he wanted to be a world famous rockstar, he could do that. And, a second later, that’s what he was. He had millions of adoring fans that all loved his music, and he was more skilled with a guitar than anyone else in history had ever been. 

Alex was his biggest fan though. And he proved that after every show, showering him in kisses and compliments and “I love you”s. And after that, they’d go into Adam’s dressing room and have some private fun. Since this was a dream, Adam’s body could be whatever he wanted, too. If he wanted to have a fully functional penis that was no different from a cis man’s, then he could have one. And so could Alex. So, that’s what they had. Fully functional, and attached to their bodies without the aid of a harness. 

Since this was a dream, he could climb on top of Alex and ride him. He could pump Alex full of his cum. He could make Alex ejaculate thin ropes of semen onto the floor beneath them. He could— 

Ouch!

Ouch!

OUCH! 

Something was REALLY hurting his back all of the sudden. Something was slamming repeatedly into the very sensitive area just beneath his rib cage. What WAS that?! 

His eyes slowly cracked open, and even though he’d known all along that it was a dream, he still missed his fame and his idealized body and— OUCH! 

He sat up and rubbed his back, still trying to figure out what was causing the pain, but it didn’t take long to work it out now. Alex was SQUIRMING. He was flopping and floundering and twisting in every direction. He had a pinched, pained look on his face, and when he turned himself over yet again, his hands crammed between his legs. 

And, it didn’t take a genius to figure out that more of that gallon of water Alex had chugged at dinner had decided it was WELL past time to check out. ‘How in the world is he sleeping through that?’ Adam wondered. He was even more shocked Alex hadn’t woken up when he tossed back around and his shirt rode up his belly a little bit. There was a bump in his lower abdomen, his bladder clearly WAY beyond full. 

Adam knew he needed to wake Alex up right away or else he’d risk the both of them waking up in wet sheets, and Alex being utterly devastated by what he’d done. He needed to nudge Alex and say “Alex, sweet thing? Wake up, okay? I think you need the toilet very badly.” 

But, when Alex got woken up suddenly, he tended to jump. He tended to get startled. And, when Alex got startled while carrying a full bladder, he tended to… Go. At least a LITTLE bit. Not a full blown accident, but a big enough leak to be obvious. With how bad Alex obviously had to go NOW, Adam wasn’t sure if startling him was the best idea. 

But, what could he do? If Alex didn’t wake up on his own, he was going to wet the bed for sure… He remembered what he’d done earlier in the evening; Carrying Alex up the stairs so he could make it to the restroom in time. Maybe he could do something like that again? 

Clearly, Alex was in a deep, DEEP sleep right now if what was clearly a PAINFUL need for the bathroom wasn’t rousing him… It could work. Adam climbed out of bed and walked around to Alex’s side. He lifted him up very carefully, not wanting him to wake up before they were in the bathroom. He was glad their apartment was small, it wasn’t going to be a long walk. 

Alex was still thrashing around a little in his arms, still in very obvious distress, and Adam moved as quickly as he dared towards the toilet. 

*** 

Adam was carrying him now, because by this point Alex was so desperate for a pee that he had lost the ability to walk. His bladder was so swollen now that he’d had to unbutton his shorts to keep them from ripping. Adam had wet himself trying to carry Alex, and Alex felt terrible. He wanted to pee himself too to make Adam feel better, but he didn’t want to do it until Adam set him down. “Adam, just let me go!” he begged. “I can’t hold it anymore, and I don’t wanna get you wet!” 

*** 

Adam stepped into the bathroom. He pulled up the lid on the toilet and shook Alex gently. He didn’t wake up. He shook him again. Nothing. 

*** 

For some reason they were on a bus again. And it was going over lots and lots and lots of bumps! Every one jostled Alex up and down and made his bladder hurt more! He and Adam were the only people on the bus, and conveniently there was a rubber mat beneath Alex’s feet, so if he peed his pants like Adam had, the mess wouldn’t be too bad… 

*** 

Adam continued shaking Alex. “Sweet thing, wake up. You need the toilet REALLY bad…” he whispered. “You need to let it out now.” 

Alex remained asleep. 

*** 

“Sweet thing,” Adam said. “Just let it go. You need the toilet REALLY bad. You need to let it out now.” 

Feeling reassured by Adam’s words, Alex uncrossed his legs over the rubber mat and told his body that it was finally okay to relax… 

*** 

Hssss… 

Adam saw a damp spot spreading on Alex’s crotch. Crap, crap… He was going! God, how heavy a sleeper WAS he? He was gonna totally pee his pants now!

Panicked, he leaned Alex against the sink counter and yanked his pants down. He saw Alex’s stream trickling out and hurried to sit him down on the toilet. Pee continued to pour from Alex’s body, hissing away. But, now that he was on the bowl, that was perfectly fine. Adam propped his head up a bit for him and leaned him backwards against the tank of the toilet, then breathed a sigh of relief. Crisis averted. 

*** 

Psssshhhhhh!!

Alex released a massive flood into his shorts, it rolled down his legs and splashed against the rubber below him. He was wetting himself. He was having an accident. But… It felt too good for him to care. He was peeing! His poor, tired, aching, exhausted, swollen, throbbing bladder was at long last being allowed to empty. “Ahhhh…” he sighed, shivers working up and down his spine. 

*** 

Adam kind of had to watch as Alex peed this time. He didn’t want him to slump over in the wrong direction in his sleep and… Fall off his seat or something. ‘Jesus, Alex…’ Adam thought as Alex’s extremely forceful spray continued pounding into the bowl. ‘How in the world could you sleep with all THAT in you?!’ When Alex’s body started to shake, Adam felt a funny smile and blush creep across his face. ‘Aww… He gets the piss shivers even when he’s asleep!’ 

“Just let it out, Alex…” Adam said softly. “Let it all go.” 

*** 

“Ahhhhhhhh….” Alex continued to moan as wave after wave of boiling piss splattered beneath his feet. The swell in his center was finally starting to shrink. His shirt was beginning to actually fit him again, and he no longer looked like he’d swallowed a bunch of bowling balls. 

“Just let it out, Alex…” Adam encouraged, rubbing his back. “Let it all go.” 

And that was what Alex did, he let his bladder keep spraying away. He didn’t want it to ever, ever stop. By the time his abdomen was back to being nice and flat, he was still going strong. And it took like what felt like five hours for his pee to finally come to a stop. “Mmm… I NEEDED that,” he said. 

*** 

Adam watched as Alex continued to pressure wash the porcelain beneath him. Alex was smiling in his sleep now, and he hoped that whatever he was dreaming about was nice. Must have been really nice if he couldn’t be bothered to wake up for THIS. Listening to Alex’s pee go on and on and on like that was making Adam need to go VERY badly himself. He hoped Alex finished soon. And he hoped that he’d actually wake up so he could walk HIMSELF back to bed while Adam took care of his bladder… 

Alex’s release finally slowed down to a trickle, then it ceased altogether. Adam stepped closer and ran a hand through his boyfriend’s hair. “Wow… That’s better, isn’t it?” 

*** 

Adam was staring at the humongous puddle Alex had made. “Wow…” he breathed out. “That’s better, isn’t it?” 

“Muuuuch better!” Alex agreed. “I thought I was gonna explode! I feel so light now, like I can fly!” He jumped up into the air, and then… Then he WAS flying. 

And Alex knew he was dreaming. Because, of course, he could only fly in a dream. But, that enormous, massive, oh so relieving piss he’d just had had felt SO, SO real… And so had all the desperation leading up to it, and— 

He’d wet the bed. 

He knew he’d wet the bed. 

Oh no, oh no, oh no! He’d peed his bed! He’d peed his AND Adam’s bed! They were both gonna wake up in a very big puddle all because of him! No! 

His eyes shot open, and a hand went between his legs to feel— Huh? Why was he sitting upright? Why were his legs bare, and— 

“Oh,” Adam said. “NOW you wake up.” 

“Adam?” Alex asked, his sleep addled and very confused brain struggling to process WHERE he was and what was happening. His eyes started to adjust to the darkness and he finally recognized that he was in the restroom. He looked down at himself and he realized he was sitting on the toilet… “Did… Did I make it?” he asked dazedly. 

“I REALLY couldn’t get you up,” Adam said. “But, I could tell you were having an emergency, so I brought you here and sat you down, and… You made it.” He laughed. “You seriously slept through the WHOLE thing, though.” 

Alex yawned. Now that he knew everything was okay, that Adam had saved him just in time, he wanted to go BACK to sleep. He stood and pulled his pants back up. Then, he hugged Adam, “Th—Thank you…” he said. “And, I’m sorry for all the trouble.” 

“It’s not a problem,” Adam said, squeezing him back. “I already told you, taking care of each other is what a relationship is about.” 

Alex noticed him eyeing the now vacant toilet, “You have to go too now, don’t you?” 

“Yeah…” Adam said. 

Alex yawned again, “Well, I’m gonna go back to sleep… Thank you so much…” He began to stumble back to the bedroom. 

Adam hurriedly unbuttoned his pajama pants, aimed his prosthetic, and released his stream before going to join him.

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Alex had gotten a call from his Mom, whom wanted him and Adam to look after his little siblings for a few hours while she and his grandmother were both out. Alex, of course, was delighted to help out. He loved his little siblings, and Adam was good with kids as well. 

Alex was only concerned about ONE thing; His youngest sister, Mary was in the process of potty training, and right now it wasn’t going too well. She’d gotten a urinary tract infection over the course of the process, it had cleared up quickly, but now she was scared to try using the potty chair again. 

Alex understood it perfectly well, the first time she’d felt pain was when she was using the potty instead of a diaper. Alex may have been a pretty experienced childcare provider thanks to his many siblings, but he didn’t even need all that expertise to be able to figure out that Mary now associated sitting on the potty with being hurt. 

Mom had asked him and Adam to do what they could to help her get over her phobia. “My brother and I,” Adam said as they started driving. “I’m not that much older than him. I don’t remember much about when he was getting potty trained.” 

Alex could remember the process for some of his littlest siblings, but the two born right after him he couldn’t recall very many details for. About the only thing he really COULD remember was a sort of embarrassing story involving Jed, his brother that was barely a year younger than him. “Um… Jed and I, we were so close together in age that I remember they just trained us together. Papa only got one potty chair, and we used to argue over it for so long that… er… neither of us would actually make it in time…” He blushed, then frowned. The next part of the story wasn’t as funny. “Papa always got so mad…He yelled.” 

Adam frowned as well. It unnerved him that Alex’s father would choose to buy only one of such an essential item, and then get angry when a couple of toddlers had trouble managing that properly. What had he expected to happen? “Um… Well… The image of Little-Alex shouting at his brother that he NEEDS to go first is sort of cute.” He laughed. “I have only ever seen you fight with Patience, and that was when she was being mean to me. I’ve never seen you argue with your siblings otherwise.” 

Alex nodded. Since he was the oldest of the family, he’d always been told it was his responsibility to look after everyone else, and to always be kind. It helped that, for the most part, his siblings were good and easy kids. If it wasn’t for Papa’s alleged ‘lessons’ sinking in too deeply for Jed and Patience, he was sure they’d still be close, too. “Y—Yeah,” Alex agreed. “I hate fighting with them. I love them all too much.” 

“Heh,” Adam grinned. “Poor Little-Alex must have really had to go all those times then, huh?” 

Alex blushed even more, “I— I WAS just a kid then, you know? I couldn’t wait for long, and sometimes I forgot to—“ Alex stopped, what he was about to say suddenly prompted him to run through everything he’d done this morning. 

He’d woken up. 

He’d gotten the call from his Mom. 

He’d agreed to come over. 

He’d told Adam. 

He’d gotten into the car. 

Alex had missed an important step through all of that… “I forgot to go…” he mumbled. And, now he was starting to notice that he needed to quite a bit. So far, he’d been able to ignore the little bit of tingling taking place at his opening, but now that he’d fully acknowledged it, the sensation was insistent! 

“Aw, I know,” Adam said, and at first Alex was embarrassed because he thought Adam had for some reason been monitoring him that morning to make sure he peed. But, then he added; “All kids do that, I’m only teasing you.” 

Alex wanted to correct Adam, say “I meant this morning. I forgot to go THIS morning, and I need to now.” It was a long drive out to where Alex’s Mom and Grandmother lived with his siblings, and Alex was sure it wouldn’t be a very comfortable one if there wasn’t a pee stop along the way. 

However, asking for a bathroom stop in the midst of THIS conversation would feel humiliating. Alex could easily hold it a while longer, and there were plenty of locations to stop between here and their destination if he got desperate. Just, as soon as Adam had stopped thinking about how Little-Alex had a habit of forgetting to go pee. After that, Big-Alex could say that HE’D forgotten to go pee without having to feel so awkward about it. 

Alex bounced a knee and looked out the window as they drove past a gas station, his still filling bladder sending a tiny, little spasm through him at the sight. He’d relieved himself there a couple times, it was impressively clean for a gas station toilet. That was actually one of the first places he’d peed into a urinal in. He remembered how amazing that had felt, and how he’d laughed afterwards at how silly it was that peeing into a stand-up toilet had delighted him so much. He remembered Adam messing with his hair and laughing with him, agreeing that it felt really good to be able to do that. 

Mostly, Alex remembered how his bladder had been empty… And that, currently, it wasn’t. Currently, his bladder was uncomfortably full and getting fuller by the minute. His knee started to bounce a little faster. 

Adam was nervous from Alex’s sudden silence. He hoped he hadn’t gone too far with the teasing, he really hadn’t meant to hurt the guy’s feelings. He honestly just liked hearing the cute stories about Alex’s childhood. There were just so many that WEREN’T cute that it was nice when one turned up that was… “Um… I’ve got lots of embarrassing stories like that, too,” Adam said finally. 

“Hm?” 

“You know, times I held it too long,” Adam said. “You already saw what happened that time my zipper got stuck,” he added, pointedly skipping over the accident they’d BOTH had while caught in traffic that one day. “But, there are others you weren’t there for. Like, in sixth grade, back before I was being homeschooled; There were these super sour liquid candy things that got really popular. They came in these pretty small bottles, and kids at school would, like, dare each other to drink a lot all at once without cringing from how sour they were…” 

Alex nodded, but he kept looking out the window. There was a corner store; Probably one with a vacant urinal… His knee bounced harder and harder, and when he saw Adam look at it, Alex gripped it harshly with his hand, digging his nails in as he tried to make it go still. 

“An—Anyway,” Adam said. “I loved these candies a lot, and I was, like, the best at chugging them. My classmates were actually really impressed. So, one morning before school, I wanted to show off, and I just… Pounded like fifteen of the things, one right after the other. And, the thing was, all the other times we’d played this game, it had been AFTER school and I’d gone straight home, where I could just use the bathroom whenever I felt like it. And the ride home from school was super short, too. So, I’d never actually NOTICED that something in those candies just makes them… Shoot RIGHT through you. But, one thing I HAD noticed was, of course, the sour stuff kinda burns your tongue and throat a bit and makes you thirsty. So, after downing all those things, I went to the water fountain and drank for a pretty long time.” 

Alex tried to smile. If Adam had been telling a story about ANYTHING else, it would have made for a good distraction. At the moment, a story about peeing was the last thing Alex’s bladder wanted to be subjected to. The liquid inside him twisted and churned as he imagined where Adam’s tale was no doubt headed. 

“Then, I go to my first class,” Adam said. “Halfway through, I seriously needed to go. I was a little surprised, because I just went before school and it hadn’t been that long. But, we were just watching a movie in that class that day, so I was sure I could get permission to go. I ask the teacher and—“ He stopped. “I dunno if you know this, since you were homeschooled your whole life, but sometimes teachers do this whole ‘Is it an EMERGENCY?’ thing. And, they seriously ALWAYS say it really loudly and it’s SO embarrassing, because then you end up having to admit to the whole room that you’ve REALLY gotta go.” 

Curiously, Alex felt his own face turning red, even though Adam’s actually wasn’t. Alex had never been in a regular classroom, had never had a teacher condescendingly ask him if he could hold it, had never had to admit to them that no, he really couldn’t. But, somehow just imagining the humiliation Adam must have felt back then made Alex feel it too… 

“And,” Adam said. “By that point, I am really squirming, so I have no choice but to be like ‘Yes, it is.’ And, she lets me go, thankfully. This was before I had an STP, and I swear I barely even sat down in time. I actually remember thinking ‘I wish I could go standing up, it takes way too long to have to pull my pants down!’” 

Alex did laugh then, a memory suddenly being unlocked. His laughter caused a powerful volt of need to spark through his abdomen, and he let his legs cross at the ankles. “Oh— Oh my gosh, that just reminded me! When I was around four, I asked my Mom where my… Where my penis had gone and what I had to do to get it back!” 

Adam cracked up. “And what did she say?” 

“She mostly just hushed me, told me not to let Papa hear me say something like that,” Alex shrugged. “I… I honestly think Mom knew before even I did, but she was too scared of him back then to help me like she wanted to.” 

Adam took Alex’s hand with the one not attached to the steering wheel. He noted that his boyfriend’s hand was tense and shaky. “Well, she helped you a lot in the end,” he said. “It’s what you do last that counts the most. She loves you, don’t worry.” 

Alex squeezed Adam’s hand… It felt pretty good to be squeezing something right now, seemed to help offset the sharp little spasms that kept flaring against his opening. 

“And you know what?” Adam asked. “That’s not the end of my story; those candies weren’t finished with me yet.” 

“Oh no…” Alex said, smiling genuinely even as his bladder throbbed and shouted that it didn’t WANT to hear the rest of the story until after it had been emptied. He considered asking for a stop now, but a glance out the window told him that they were pretty close anyway. He was fidgeting, he definitely had to pee, but he’d have no problem waiting out the rest of the drive. He simply tensed his thighs and told himself that relief was on its way in just twenty or thirty minutes. 

“Yeah, ‘oh no’,” Adam agreed. “I go back to class, sit through the rest of the thing we were watching, and then it’s time for me to go to my NEXT class. I grab up my stuff, and realize that my bladder feels kinda full again. I’m like ‘What? I JUST went!’ And, I actually walk RIGHT past a set of bathrooms on my way to the next class, but I’m thinking ‘There is no way I ACTUALLY need to go again right now, it’s gotta just be in my head. I NEVER need to go this often!’ And, I just… Go to class.” 

Alex’s thighs got a little tenser. Adam’s overconfidence in his story sounded a little… Familiar, and Alex wondered if he was making a mistake by not requesting a stop. He kept his gaze fixed straight ahead… There were only a few blocks left! Mostly residential streets too, very low risk of being caught in a traffic jam. He could hold through that! It would be just silly to ask to pee NOW when they were so close! 

“This day, the desks were all arranged in a circle, and the teacher’s chair was in the middle— Which means this is a day where we’re going to be doing a lot of discussion. I sit down at my desk and, like, five minutes into class I realize I have made a horrible mistake. Not only was my need REAL, it was INTENSE. I had to go, and I had to go bad. So, what SHOULD I do? I should ask for permission to leave, right? But, here’s the thing; A lot of those kids had been in my FIRST class, and they’d already heard me say I was having an emergency like, half an hour ago, and I’m way too embarrassed to say I’m having ANOTHER one in front of them.” 

“Awww, poor Adam,” Alex said. Again, this sounded familiar; At the moment, Alex needed to pee pretty badly, but was too embarrassed to speak up and ask to go. Just like Adam in his story.

“So, I think; ‘No problem, I’ll hold it until the teacher passes out our worksheets for the day and goes back to her desk. Then I can go over there and ask, nice and private. No one has to hear.’ That was what usually happened on discussion days; The class would go over a topic for about fifteen minutes, then we’d be given a worksheet to fill out. I knew I could handle fifteen minutes. But, guess what?” 

“What?” Alex asked, bringing one foot up onto the seat with him and leaning against his leg. He hoped the action looked casual, because the pressure of his leg against himself was helping out quite a bit… 

“This was, for some unfathomable reason, the ONLY day that year that the discussion part took up the ENTIRE class!” Adam said. “It had never happened before, it never happened after. To ask for the toilet, I would have to raise my hand, interrupt everyone and admit for everybody to hear that I was dying to go after JUST peeing a little bit ago! I heard absolutely NOTHING that was said in that room that day, I just kept noticing moments where there was a lull in the conversation, when the room went quiet, and I’d be all ‘Ohhh, finally! I’m gonna get to ask soon!’ But, then it would pick back up again and I’d just have to keep holding it.” 

Alex started to rock against his leg, “Um… Did you make it?” 

“Yeah, I made it,” Adam said. “It was really close. There was this moment when class finally ended, and I stood up to leave and I thought for sure it was all over. Like, the sides of my vision actually started to blur, that’s how bad it was. If there wasn’t a restroom directly next to this class, I probably would have embarrassed myself a LOT more than I would have if I’d just asked to go, but luckily I made it, like, by the skin of my teeth. And, for the rest of the day, I peed between every single class, I literally just didn’t trust my bladder anymore at all. It wasn’t until I got home that I made the connection between all those candies and what had happened to me.”

“Do you… Still drink those candies?” Alex asked. If he’d put something in his body that had made him get desperate over and over for a whole day, he’d never touch it again… 

“Sometimes,” Adam shrugged, then laughed. “After that, I ONLY had them if I was at home or at least close to home, though… Heh, actually, you remember that day the rabbit got out while I was at the store, and you fell in the mud trying to catch him?” 

“Y…Yeah?” Alex said. He remembered that day well, how scared he’d been that their bunny would get hurt or lost if he didn’t catch up in time… He also remembered the hiss of the pouring rain pummeling against him. He remembered how loud all those splashes were. He remembered how, if he was in the rain right now, he could pee and nobody would notice… And, he put his hands around his leg, trying to pull it against his crotch even more firmly. 

“Well, the store actually had a few of those candies, and I bought a couple. Drank them on my walk home, because I knew I’d be near a toilet by the time they were kicking in… Which they did right at the bottom of the apartment’s stairs. Like, I went from 0 to 10; Gotta go NOW in the span of about three seconds or something. I basically ran up the stairs, and I was jumping and twisting as I got the door open… And then the bathroom door was locked. You were showering off the mud.” 

“Ohhhh,” Alex said. “I forgot about that part!” 

“Y—Yeah,” Adam said. “So, now you know why the second I was home I was knocking on that door so much.” 

Alex shook his head, remembering with some fondness how strange it had been to hear his usually calm and controlled boyfriend frantically pounding on the door and begging, “Alex! Alex! PLEASE let me in! I’m, like, three seconds away from wetting the carpet out here!” 

But, of course, after that he remembered how he’d quickly gotten out of the shower, wrapped a towel around himself, and flung open the door. He remembered how he’d said, “Oh, Adam, are you okay? I’m sorry! I didn’t mean t—“ He remembered how Adam hadn’t waited to hear his apology, had only dropped the shopping bags, scrambled in front of the toilet and unleashed a massive, gushing stream, panting hard. He remembered how noisy that release had been, how every drop had hissed and spattered into the bowl, how Adam had moaned and thanked him repeatedly, muttering about how close a call that had been… 

And all of that made Alex squirm. He bit down on his lip, shifting more and more against his leg. He had to go. He had to go. He had to go so very badly. But, they were just a couple streets away now, so close to much needed relief… He was gonna have to head STRAIGHT for the bathroom as soon as possible, but there was no question at all that he WOULD make it. 

“I felt kinda bad,” Adam chuckled. “I needed to pee so much that I couldn’t pause for a second to let you know how hot you looked right out of the shower.” 

Alex’s trembling calmed down for a second, “Heh… That’s okay. You’ve told me that plenty of times to make up for it.” 

“But, yeah, those candies ARE really good,” Adam said. “Just, so long as you know you’ll have somewhere close by to pee after you finish them.” 

Alex wasn’t so sure if he ever wanted to try that candy. He’d never felt himself go from totally fine to completely bursting with no build-up like that before, it certainly didn’t sound pleasant… Speaking of having somewhere close by to pee, though, they’d finally finished the drive. 

‘Oh, thank goodness!’ Alex thought, gingerly pulling his leg away from himself. He unclasped his seatbelt, and was briefly amazed by the immediate drop in pressure within his middle. He hadn’t realized how much that thing had been strangling away at his poor bladder until it was suddenly gone. Carefully, he opened the car door and stepped out, wincing and bending at the knees as the liquid inside him pulsed feverishly downwards. Any relief that the removal of the belt brought him was immediately vanquished by the power of gravity. 

Adam came around to join him. He noticed Alex’s tension and asked “Sit still for too long?” 

“S—Something like that…” Alex said, eagerly walking up to the front door, relief in sight at last. He rang the doorbell, and his Mom answered. She thanked him and Adam repeatedly for coming out here today, and reminded them to keep an eye on Mary and try to help her with her potty issues. 

“W—We will,” Alex promised. He’d help Mary just as soon as he’d alleviated his own ‘potty issue’. 

“Grandma’s already out,” Mom added. “Charity is still napping, but Mary’s already awake. Prudence has ALREADY had three cookies today, so don’t let her tell you otherwise. Ben is at a friend’s house, but should be home for lunch. Make sure he brushes his teeth before bed, he’s been trying to skip that. We’ll be back by nine, so try to have everyone at least IN bed by then, okay?” 

“Yes, Mom,” Alex nodded, shifting back and forth on his feet. He didn’t want to rush her, but Alex was in such a major rush himself right now that that was hard to do! 

Mom glanced down at Alex’s tense legs, at the way he was swaying. He felt himself blushing under her gaze. If anyone could tell when he needed to urinate, it would be the woman who’d raised him. He wouldn’t be surprised if the pee-dance he was performing now was exactly like the one he’d done when he was little… 

“Alex…?” Mom asked. “Do you…” she stopped and shook her head. He knew what she’d been about to ask, but was glad she hadn’t. She’d probably realized it was a little silly to ask her adult child if he needed a toilet break; Of course he’d be heading straight there as soon as he was inside, he was more than responsible enough to do that now without being reminded. She’d just gotten so used to being around the younger ones… 

“We can handle everything,” Adam promised, though he was less confident than Alex. Alex had a way with kids that Adam felt like he didn’t— Alex was an amazing older brother, and somehow managed to keep up with ALL those children when he had to. It had taken Adam nearly two months to memorize which name went with each kid; There had just been so many of them!

“Good, thank you,” Mom said. “Call me if there is a problem,” and she began to head for her car. 

‘Ohhhh, finally,’ Alex thought, seeing the now vacant doorway. So close, so close, so close… He hurried inside, and was immediately swarmed by Prudence and Mary. “Alex!” Prudence beamed, hugging him tightly… An action that made Alex cringe and suck in a sharp breath. At Prudence’s height, when she hugged him, her arms wrapped right around his midsection. She was unknowingly squeezing the heck out of his poor bladder… 

“H—Hello, Prudence…” Alex winced. “I—It’s v—very nice to see you, but not so tight, okay?” 

Mary clung to one of his legs, which wasn’t as horrible as having his bladder gripped, but it DID mean he wasn’t able to cross them anymore… His aching sphincter could REALLY use that extra support right now! “Mary…” Alex said. “I’ve got to be able to walk, remember?” 

Mary snuggled his leg for one second longer, then let go. Prudence finally released him from her grip as well. “Let’s play, Alex!” Prudence said. 

“Play!” Mary cheered in agreement. “Play with Alex!” 

“Alex has something he has to do first,” Alex said gently. “After he does that, he can play all the games you want.” 

“Awww, play first!” Prudence pouted. “Just for a little bit? Please?” 

Alex spotted the door leading to the restroom, and his bladder seized up at the sight. It didn’t WANT Alex to play ‘for a little bit’. It wanted him to take it in there right away! “Um…” 

Adam saw Alex hesitate, he wasn’t sure what his boyfriend’s issue was, but still wanted to help out. “You can play with me until he gets back from whatever he has to do,” he offered. 

“Play with Alex!” Mary repeated. “You’re not Alex!” 

“Yeah, but I’m fun, too,” Adam promised. 

“Alex!” Mary insisted. 

Alex’s bladder was throbbing, but his heart was melting. It was so cute how badly she wanted his attention, how could he deny it from her? “O—Okay,” he said. “You’re lucky you’re so adorable, though. What do you want to play?” 

“Horsey!” Mary begged. 

Alex’s bladder shook at the very thought! “Wh—What?” 

“Horsey rides!” Mary said. 

Alex couldn’t do that. He could NOT get on all fours and have Mary ride on his back right now. He wouldn’t be able to hold it in that position! Practically ALL of his weight would be on his bladder, and Mary would be weighing him down too, and he’d… He’d— 

“No!” Prudence said. “I’m too big for Alex to do that with, it’s not fair.” 

“Pr—Prudence is right,” Alex said. “W—We need something that everyone can play.” ‘And that won’t make my bladder burst…’ he added to himself. 

“You should draw with us instead,” Prudence suggested. 

Yes. Drawing. Just… Sitting in one place at a table. Alex could do that. “Okay,” he said. “Adam, do you want to draw with us?” 

“Sure,” Adam said, and they followed the girls to the kitchen table where stacks of paper and boxes of crayons were already out. 

“Look, Alex!” Prudence said. “Charity and I drew fishies earlier!” 

Alex did look, mostly zeroing in on the splash of water created by one of the fish leaping out of it. Prudence was a really good artist for her age, the way the water was moving looked pretty realistic. 

Which was unfortunate for Alex, whom tensed his thighs up even more tightly as he sat down. “Th—That’s amazing, Prudence,” he said. “But, um… I think I really should—“ 

“Look!” Mary said, holding up another drawing. “I drew lemonade!” 

Alex nodded shakily. Mary, being only three, was nowhere near as skilled as Prudence. But, still, a lot of yellow marks going into what was clearly a cup was just suggestive enough to make Alex cross his legs. “I— I like that, Mary,” he smiled. “Now, I kind of have to—“ 

“I’m gonna draw an eel to go with the fish now,” Prudence said. “I like eels, they’re like underwater snakes.” 

“I want Alex to draw with me!” Mary said. “Can he?” 

“O—Of course I can,” Alex assured. “But, first I need the—“ 

Mary excitedly grabbed a sheet of paper and a handful of crayons, sitting down next to Alex. She handed him one. “Draw flowers,” she said. 

“Okay,” Alex said. He glanced around and spotted Adam standing behind him. He widened his eyes at his boyfriend, trying to communicate his needs to him without words. ‘Please, Adam, I am going to burst!’ 

Adam did not seem to possess telepathic abilities though, as he just took a seat of his own and grabbed some paper. 

Adam wasn’t sure what he wanted to draw. Maybe Alex would like it if he drew him? He turned to look at his boyfriend, trying to guess if he was talented enough to do him justice… Only then did he notice that Alex looked pretty tense. He had a small tremor in his arm as he drew, as if the muscles there were being pulled very taut… He was shaking in other places, too. 

Adam reached over and rubbed Alex’s thigh, that usually calmed him down when he was stressed about something, even if Adam didn’t know what it was. 

Alex actually did ease up a little at Adam’s touch, at the mere reminder that his partner was beside him. He could tell Adam what he needed to do at any time, and Adam would make it happen, right? The bathroom was so close, Alex didn’t have to worry. He’d finish drawing with Mary, and then he’d tell Adam he had to go and to keep the kids occupied until he was finished. That was all he had to do. 

Alex drew a haphazard array of flowers alongside Mary’s. Alex was to the point now that absolutely EVERYTHING was making him think about peeing. Right now, he couldn’t stop thinking about a particular way that he could WATER a bed of flowers… He bounced up and down in his seat, wishing that he could hold himself. But, Adam’s hand was right there… 

Once the entire sheet of paper had been colored in flowers, Alex started to stand, “Guys, I—“ 

“I’m hungry,” Prudence said. “Can we eat something?” 

Alex supposed he could give them a snack first… “O—Okay, yeah,” he said, struggling not to pop as his feet touched the ground and he pulled himself fully upright. He went to the cupboards and found some granola bars. “A—Are these okay?” 

“Yeah,” Prudence said. 

Okay. Good. The granola bars had been on the lower shelf. If they’d wanted the fruit bars on the top shelf, he would have needed to stretch, and he felt like he’d probably be ripped in half if he tried that right now. 

Adam watched as Alex handed the girls their snacks. He was a little concerned by the twitchy, antsy way Alex was moving. He looked like he was panicking over something, but Adam couldn’t work out what it was… 

“Th—There,” Alex said. “Now, I’ll be right—“ 

“Mary has to go,” Prudence announced. 

“Do not!” Mary insisted. 

“Mom doesn’t want you to have accidents anymore,” Prudence said. “You should go.” 

Alex glanced down, and noticed his littlest sister was doing a bit of a dance… Fire erupted beneath his cheeks as he recognized its similarity to his own… “Mary, if you need to go, you should go right away,” he said, twisting his hips at a rippling spasm from within. His hand very nearly went to his crotch when he felt his urethra starting to quiver, but he stopped himself at the last second. His hand pressed into his lower stomach instead, which only succeeded in making his need feel a whole lot worse. 

Alex’s bladder seemed to be trying to tell him to take his own advice. 

“But… Hurts,” Mary said fearfully. 

“I know,” Alex nodded. Sucking in a sharp breath, cursing himself for what he was about to do, he forced himself to crouch so that he was eye-level with her. Immediately, it was like a forty pound weight had just been rested atop his bladder, he felt like it was being smooshed, like something was squeezing it and forcing the liquid inside of it to push up right against his opening… And out. 

His first leak hissed into his boxers, and then he did press a hand into himself. Just for a second, just to plug himself shut again. “I… I know,” he repeated to Mary. “It hurt you for a bit, but it won’t anymore.” 

“Yes it will…” 

“You’ve seen Mom and Grandma and everyone else go to the toilet, it doesn’t hurt them, right?” Alex said gently. 

“Yeah, only they don’t use the little one,” Mary said. 

So, it was specifically the potty chair that was scaring her. That made sense, that was where she’d been when it had suddenly hurt her to go, not on the actual toilet. Alex made a mental note to remember that detail, he’d pass it along to Mom, suggest she buy one of those toddler seat-adapter thingies so Mary could try using the regular toilet. If she really WAS just terrified of that particular potty chair hurting her, and not of using something that wasn’t a diaper in general, then that could solve everything right away. 

It would still be good if Mary could get comfortable with the chair as well, though. She’d have an easier time getting on and off that thing by herself, she’d definitely need some assistance with the toilet. When he’d been around to potty train a few of his other siblings, it had been important to all of them that they could handle as much of the process by themselves as possible. 

Also… He had to get her to go now. He knew from Mom that Mary cried when she wet herself, and he knew from a couple prior experiences that HE tended to pee when someone near him did… 

“I’ll… I’ll, um… I’ll talk to Mom about getting you something so you can use the normal toilet, if that would make you feel better,” Alex said. Suddenly, he couldn’t stay crouched down anymore, another spurt ripped its way past his defenses and he couldn’t handle all this extra pressure for even one more second! He gently drew himself up, but he couldn’t stand up totally straight anymore, either! He had to hunch over, or else it felt like his bladder was being stretched and torn to shreds…
“B—But,” Alex said. “Th—There really is no reason to be scared of the potty. It only hurt you those times because you were sick, but the doctors gave you stuff to make that go away, so it won’t hurt you anymore.” 

Adam heard the tremors and shakes in Alex’s voice, and thought maybe THIS was what had been stressing him out. He was just concerned for his little sister and the pain she’d gone through. He was just nervous that he wouldn’t be able to fix it. Of course, that had to be it. Alex was such a pure, sweet guy… 

Still, Mary was insistent, “It will hurt!” 

“It… It won’t… I’ll prove it somehow, I’ll—” 

“Er…” Adam said. “I… Have an idea…” he trailed off. It was probably going to embarrass Alex, but it might help. 

“Hm?” 

“How about you… Show her it doesn’t hurt?” Adam suggested. “Just… Sit on it for a minute, and when she sees it’s not hurting you, she’ll feel safe, maybe?” He had no idea if that would even work, he wasn’t a child psychologist or anything, but it at least SOUNDED right. 

Just like Adam knew he would, Alex was blushing. And, all his anxious, little motions picked up. 

“Hey, don’t worry,” Adam said. “I’m not gonna tease you over it, you’re just trying to be a good brother, and that’s awesome.” 

“O—Okay,” Alex said, his hands balling into fists and swinging tensely at his sides. “I’ll… Show her it’s safe, yeah.” He hoped that maybe the potty chair was kept somewhere other than in the bathroom. If he had to go in there and then NOT pee…. 

But, of course, that WAS where it was located. Mary followed Alex and Adam in, and Alex tried his best not to look at the toilet, not to think about how much he wanted to use it… But, he couldn’t. He didn’t just ‘want’ to use it, he NEEDED to use it very, VERY badly! His hips hadn’t stopped twisting for one second since they’d come in here, his urethra was pulsing, tiny drops kept easing their way into his boxers. “Actually, guys, before we do this, I—“ He stopped. Mary was squirming a lot… He needed to get this over with right away or else she’d have an accident. 

‘YOU are going to have an accident!’ A little voice in Alex’s mind screamed at him, and he knew that the voice was right. His bladder was full, and no amount of squirming was making it feel any LESS full. 

Furthermore, Mary was THREE, if she had an accident… Well, that was just expected, wasn’t it? Alex was an ADULT, if he had had an accident, especially in front of the kid he was trying to help potty-train, it would be devastating!

“I… I know it’s a little embarrassing,” Adam whispered. “I won’t tell ANYBODY you did this, I won’t laugh, I won’t tease, don’t worry.” 

But, Alex did worry… He looked at the small potty chair. He was small and thin enough that he could probably sit on it with only a little bit of discomfort. He could do it, and the faster he did it, the faster Mary would relax and go. And, the faster Mary relaxed and went, the faster Alex could finally use the toilet… 

He sat himself down on the chair. He didn’t exactly fit, he was sort of balancing on it, worried that his full weight would make it come apart. “S—See? It doesn’t hurt at all.” 

“That’s because your pants are still up,” Mary said. 

Oh… Alex blushed more now. He didn’t want to sit on a potty chair in front of his boyfriend, especially not with his pants down as if he was about to actually use it… He also didn’t feel super comfortable taking stuff off with his current audience. 

But… If it helped. If it got him to the toilet faster… He would just keep his body as concealed as he could. 

Alex lowered his shorts only a tiny bit, just barely enough, continually pulling his shirt down to cover himself up even more, then he awkwardly sat back down onto the potty chair, and… Wow, being there must have unlocked some long forgotten memories; The feeling of the plastic seat underneath him, while it wasn't exactly like the cold porcelain of an actual toilet, was making his bladder pulse and pulse and pulse. Somehow, it just seemed to KNOW that he was on something that was designed to be urinated into, and it wanted him to start doing exactly that NOW. He bit his lip and tensed his thighs as best he could in his cramped position. He needed to hold it! “S—See, Mary?” he said. “N—Nothing is hurting me. It’s safe.” 

Mary just looked at him, then pouted. “Looks like it hurts you!” 

Alex was confused, then Adam knelt down and whispered, “Uh… Yeah, sweet thing. I know it’s a tight squeeze for you, but you’re kinda grimacing… Try and relax more.” 

Alex absolutely could NOT relax more! He’d GO! He still tried to even out his facial muscles a bit, tried to make himself appear a slightly less tense. He wanted to get up off this thing so badly! His bladder would calm back down some if he wasn’t sitting in a place where, theoretically, it was okay to release it. 

‘Just let go,’ his traitorous brain suggested. ‘What do you know? It might make Mary calmer if she sees you actually USE it without being hurt.’ He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out those thoughts. Adam was here! It was embarrassing enough to be sitting on this thing at all in front of him! To actually… To actually PEE into it would be downright mortifying! Hold it! Hold it, hold it, hold it! 

Not to mention, Alex felt like he was bursting apart at his seams! His bladder was very, very full. There was a LOT of pee stored in him right now. The potty had… Well, a limited capacity, and with as bad as he had to go, Alex was almost positive that HIS capacity outmatched it. He KNEW it did; He remembered the camping trip he’d gone on with Adam, he remembered how he’d almost filled an entire one liter bottle with his urine, no way could this thing hold THAT much. 

“See?” Mary said to Adam. “It does hurt, Alex is hurt.” Her eyes started to well up. “It’s hurting my brother.” 

“I—It’s not,” Adam promised, feeling VERY out of his element. He whispered to his boyfriend again, “Sweet thing? Did your thigh get pinched on it or something? What’s—“ 

Adam was unable to finish his question. 

He’d been interrupted by a sudden noise. A hiss, punctuated by the sound of liquid trickling against plastic. Adam glanced around for several seconds in confusion, then looked back at Alex. His boyfriend’s eyes were blown wide open, and the deepest, reddest blush Adam had ever seen was spreading across his face. 

Adam’s face, neck and chest erupted with heat, and he knew that HE was blushing, too. He supposed this explained all of Alex’s tension today; From the sound of that gush, the poor guy must have been holding it for a while… Why hadn’t he said anything? 

Alex could not believe that this was happening, his eyes darted to the regular toilet— The thing he SHOULD have been peeing into, and he tried to clench up and make his flow stop. But, he couldn’t. It genuinely felt like his bladder had been broken wide open, he wasn’t even able to slow down his stream, much less get it to cease entirely. Every squeeze he made with his muscles only caused him to void even more powerfully into the receptacle below him. 

After several seconds of uncontainable spraying, Alex realized that he needed to STOP all of his attempts to begin holding it again. The damage was done, he was already using the potty in front of Adam. And, cringing, shifting, whining, or doing anything else that showed how much he DIDN’T want to be doing this would probably make Mary think he was in pain. 

Alex had to relax, he had to appear calm and happy even if he felt himself dying on the inside. ‘Just… Shut your eyes…’ his brain screamed, and he followed the suggestion. He tried to forget the specifics of his current situation, tried to focus only on how good it felt to finally go. He concentrated on the pleasant sensation of his bladder shrinking down, how nice it was to feel his pee gush and hiss, all of the discomfort in his middle fading away… All of those things were very good, and if he did his best to blot out the humiliation underpinning all of it, he could settle himself down. He tried to relax the rest of his body, as well as his facial muscles, let himself smile and exhale slowly with relief… 

Adam had turned away by then, trying to give Alex some privacy. He couldn’t even imagine how embarrassing this all was for him… He must have seriously just not been able to hold it. Indeed, as Alex’s ocean continued spraying out of him, Adam realized his boyfriend must have really been at his limit. 

… At… At HIS limit… 

Adam knew for a fact that Alex could hold around a liter, and now he was a little concerned that this wasn’t going to end very well. 

“Oh, Alex had to go potty a lot…” Mary commented.

‘He sure did…’ Adam thought. He really should have been paying closer attention today. Alex had been FULL, and apparently he’d been full for quite a while, too! Adam couldn’t believe he hadn’t been able to figure that out. Even if Alex had chosen to stay silent about his need for whatever reason, Adam SHOULD have been able to pick up on it himself. Hell, he realized now that Alex had been TRYING to tell everyone that he had to pee pretty much since the moment he’d walked inside the house. Adam had been much too inattentive today! 

“S—See?” Alex forced himself to ask. “I—It doesn’t hurt at all…” His face actually ACHED from how much he was blushing… He wished he’d hurry up and finish, but his bladder STILL felt pretty full, and alarm built inside his chest as he grew more certain that he was going to overflow this thing before he’d emptied. To his dismay, his typical shivers of pleasure started to tingle up and down his back… 

“Is Alex cold?” Mary asked. 

Alex actually felt like he was on fire. He must have been red all the way down to his toes. “Mmmf… I just… Do that when I… go… I dunno why…” And, he just kept going and going and going… He could feel how full the receptacle was getting now, and again he tried to cut off his flow, he knew he was about to— 

He couldn’t stop, and pee began to trickle down the front and sides of the potty chair, slowly ebbing down onto the floor. 

Adam heard his boyfriend’s urine suddenly splashing onto the ground and tried to think of some way to soothe him now, to make him feel at least a little less ashamed, but he couldn’t come up with anything to say. He just had to hope that Mary stayed—

“Alex is making a mess!” Mary pointed out.

—Quiet…

“I… I know…” Alex mumbled. “I— This is why you shouldn’t hold it for too long, Mary…” 

‘Awww,’ Adam thought, his chest going light and warm. Alex was such a sweetheart, he was such a perfect older brother… Trying to turn this moment of utter humiliation into a teaching moment for Mary. 

Alex finally finished, and raised himself out of his crouch, yanking his shorts back up. He felt about ten billion times better now that his bladder was nice and flat and empty… But, at what cost? The potty chair was so full he wasn’t sure how to move it so it could be emptied. If he tried, he’d spill it for sure… And, the floor around it had several small puddles, and… Adam had… Had watched him do that… 

He cleared his throat a few times, trying to speak normally, but his voice was tense and shuddering; “S—So, yeah. It doesn’t hurt you to… To pee in there. You can do it, it’s fine.” He cringed before bending back down and picking up the chair as slowly and carefully as he could. It was extra heavy now… Weighed down by… By all the pee Alex hadn’t been able to hold… 

A few tiny pulses of liquid sloshed onto the ground as Alex did his best to bring it over to the toilet. He tilted it a bit, let all of his urine splash into the place it had been MEANT to go in the first place, then flushed. He sat the potty back down, grabbed some toilet paper, and set about mopping up all his little puddles. 

One good thing HAD come out of this whole ordeal, because as soon as the potty was back on the floor, Mary had nervously taken a seat on it and had begun to use it. Alex had gotten her over her fear, at least… He just wished he could have done that in a less mortifying way. 

Unlike Alex, when Mary finished, nothing had overflowed and spilled onto the tiles. Of course it hadn’t. The potty was MEANT for someone her size, after all. The company that had designed it had never envisioned that a grown man would lose control over his body while sitting on it… 

Again, Alex emptied out the potty, then knelt down and told Mary that she’d done a very good job, told her he was proud of her, told her that she never had to feel scared to go again… It took a great deal of effort to inject cheer and positivity into his voice, but he did it for her. 

Mary then hugged onto Alex’s legs again, and then she said something that made Alex blush so hard he looked sunburnt; “You did good, too! Except for how it went on the floor some.” 

“Eheh…” Alex forced a laugh. “Y—Yeah… R—Run off and play now?” 

Mary nodded and rushed out to find Prudence. Once she was gone, Alex collapsed against Adam and clung onto him. He said nothing, merely shook with embarrassment. 

“Aw…” Adam rubbed his arm, then gave him a small kiss on the cheek. “It’s okay, Alex…” 

“It’s not… I… In front of you!” Alex was fighting very hard not to begin crying. 

Adam struggled to think of the right thing to say. ‘That’s fine, you just should have said you had to go sooner,’ would probably make him feel bad. ‘I really didn’t mind, you actually looked kinda cute sitting there,’ was just…. Weird. Adam didn’t even know where in the world THAT thought had come from, but he had to admit it WAS true. Alex had looked really cute crouching like that, and the way he was obviously trying SO hard to beat down his embarrassment to put his sister at ease was undeniably sweet. Not to mention, for whatever reason, Adam ALWAYS thought those little shivers Alex got whenever he peed were adorable… 

But, Alex surely wouldn’t think anything about what he’d just done was cute… To him, it had been nothing but humiliation tinged with a bit of relief.

Adam actually needed to go now, the sound of Alex’s typhoon had sort of gotten to him… “I… I won’t tease you, or anything. I don’t think badly of you now. It was really nice of you to do that for Mary, you’re a good brother… And… Hey, I’ve gotta pee,” he bounced on his toes for emphasis. “How about I… Use that thing, too? And you can watch? Would that make you less embarrassed?” 

Alex stepped back a bit, “You don’t have to—“ 

“I want you to feel better,” Adam said. “This way, we’ll be even, right?” He rocked back and forth on his heels. “And… I WOULD really like to go soon.” 

“Um… Y—Yeah, if you want to do that…” Alex said awkwardly. 

Adam smiled, lowering his shorts, “Okay, watch me then,” he said. It took him a few tries to sit himself onto the potty in a way that didn’t make his legs cramp up, but finally he was mostly comfortable. The hard part, however, was telling himself to start going… Since he wasn’t basically dying of desperation like Alex had been, the weird feeling of sitting on a potty chair as an adult was enough to keep his bladder’s exit plugged up. 

Not to mention… Well, ever since he’d gotten an STP, Adam pretty much NEVER sat down to relieve his bladder. Standing to go was what felt right to him, so that was what he did. 

He remembered how, when he’d first gotten the prosthetic it would take a few seconds for his brain to remember ‘Oh, right. We can do it THIS way now!’ and give his bladder the clearance to begin draining. His body was just getting used to peeing in a way that it hadn’t really done it before. 

What he felt now, trying to let it flow while seated, was almost the same as what he’d felt back in those days. His body trying to catch up and remember that ‘sitting’ was indeed an acceptable position for urination to take place in. 

Alex had been watching his boyfriend balance himself over the potty. He still hadn’t stopped blushing, but now the heat was caused by the strange realization that Adam actually looked a little cute right now… After several seconds passed with no stream pouring against the plastic, Alex spoke up; “Um… If you don’t wanna do this, you don’t have to…” 

“I’ll do it, I’ll do it,” Adam promised, trying to concentrate. “It’s just… Taking me a minute, don’t worry.” He smiled and let out an easy laugh. “I think I actually FORGOT that I can sit when I pee, haven’t done it in a really long time.” 

“Heh…” Alex grinned. He still did sit to go sometimes, if it was dark and he didn’t feel like turning on a light, or if he wanted to read something while he peed. Just… Anything that could screw up his ability to aim correctly. But, he always left his prosthetic on and peed through it, even if he WAS sitting. He thought it might have been silly, but the way his pee stream sounded when it wasn’t funneled through the prosthetic just really bothered him. Without the prosthetic, his pee would sound like a sprinkler, but with it, it sounded like a hose. He’d told Adam about it once, and Adam had promised that it wasn’t stupid. People got dysphoric over lots of random things, and if Alex felt best using his prosthetic every time he peed, even if he wasn’t going to stand, then that was fine. 

“You want me to turn the sink on?” Alex asked. “Will that help?” 

“Yeah, maybe,” Adam said. “I actually have to go a little bad, I’m sure it’ll start working soon.” 

Alex cranked on the faucet, and water hissed away into the basin. 

“Oh…” Adam cringed, doing a little bounce. “Well, now I have to go a LOT bad…” As soon as he’d said that, his bladder voiced its agreement and his stream began to patter against the plastic. “Ahhh…Not anymore, though. That’s better…” He laughed. “Pfft, can’t believe I’m doing this!” 

Alex was impressed by how unashamed Adam seemed to be. Like, it wasn’t bothering him at all to be letting it flow into that particular receptacle. It was perfectly simple for him, peeing into a potty chair was just happening, and it was no big deal. He was smiling, he looked nice and relaxed, and his pee continued to trickle away. 

“Phew,” Adam said once he’d finished. He stood and pulled up his shorts, noting that he’d almost filled the chair to the top and would have to be careful to avoid spilling it while he emptied it out. “I needed that…” 

As Adam drained the potty out, Alex nervously spoke; “Um… You… Er…. You kind of… You looked cute just now… I dunno why. I guess because you were doing something embarrassing, but you looked all confident still? I dunno…” 

Adam set the chair back on the floor before giving Alex a hug. “You actually looked cute on that thing too, honestly; Trying so hard to stay calm for your sister even though I know you were freaking out inside your head.” 

Alex squeezed him back. “I definitely was… I really just— Couldn’t hold it anymore.” 

Adam kissed him. “Poor thing… How long had you been waiting for that?” 

Alex turned away, a bit ashamed, “I… Forgot to go this morning after I woke up. I was holding it all day. I should have said I needed to go while we were driving, but we were talking about… That. And it felt weird.” 

“Awww,” Adam ruffled Alex’s hair. “Silly boy… Speak up next time, okay? No need to ever feel embarrassed with me, you know that.” 

“I know…”

Link to comment
  • 1 month later...

Mary had, naturally, made an announcement to Prudence the second she’d left the restroom; “Alex had to go potty a whole lot! It spilled on the floor!” 

Prudence had laughed, but had also been confused, then Mary explained it as best as her limited vocabulary allowed and Prudence understood what exactly had happened. 

When Alex and Adam finally exited the restroom, Prudence began giggling. Alex asked what was so funny, she said; “Did you really have an accident?”

Alex turned scarlet; “N—No! Not exactly!” 

Prudence kept snickering.

“Th—The potty chair… It’s not meant for someone my age, that’s all,” Alex said. “I still made it just fine, I didn’t have an accident. See?” he gestured to his shorts. “I’m dry.” He felt, with every word fired from his lips, that he was digging his hole even deeper, but he couldn’t stop talking. 

“But, you tinkled on the floor still?” Prudence asked. 

“I—“ Alex spluttered, a pit of embarrassment had opened up inside his stomach. He was probably blushing hard enough to be glowing by now. “I—“ 

Adam reached and squeezed Alex’s hand very tightly. “Like he said, the potty chair is too small for a grown-up. He…” Adam thought for a moment, maybe it would be best to fudge a few of the details a little.“He wanted to show Mary that it was safe, so he decided to use it himself. He just thought the chair could hold more than it actually could.” 

There. That was a perfectly fine explanation. And one that didn’t reveal how Alex’s bladder had actually just exploded by complete accident while he’d been sitting on the thing.

“Oh,” Prudence said, laughing once more. “Heheh, he still tinkled on the floor, though.” 

Alex sighed. He hoped she dropped this soon and moved onto something else. “Hey, how about we play a game now, or something?” 

Before Mary or Prudence could suggest one, the door to one of the bedrooms cracked open and Charity emerged, awake from her nap. 

Alex really should have seen it coming, but he still felt the blow when Prudence and Mary both ran over to her to let her know all about how “Alex tinkled on the floor!” 

Alex groaned and went to the couch. Adam joined him, “Aw, it’s okay,” he said. “I’m sure they won’t remember this forever.” 

Alex started to nod, but then he heard Charity say; “Oh, when he and Adam took me to see Santa, he almost went in his pants ‘cause the line was really long. He went on a wall instead.” 

This prompted more giggling. 

“Okay… Maybe they DO remember these kinds of things for a while,” Adam said, taking his boyfriend’s hand again. “But, that’s okay. They aren’t trying to be mean.” 

“It’s embarrassing…” Alex mumbled. 

When Ben got home from his friend’s house, he was of course informed that Alex had peed onto the floor as well, but Ben had a somewhat different reaction. “Oh no, did you have that thing where the stream splits in half?” he guessed. “I hate when that happens.” 

“Huh?” Alex asked. 

“You know, where instead of just one stream, you have two and it’s real hard to aim?” 

“He overflowed Mary’s potty, actually,” Prudence explained.

“What?” Ben snorted. “Why?” 

“W—Well, NOW Mary’s not scared to go anymore!” Alex said. “So, it was all okay. We can stop talking about this stuff now.” 

His pleas went unheard. 

“Remember how, at the old place, we only had the one bathroom?” Prudence asked. “And, in the morning Alex always said ‘You all go first, ‘cause you’re littler,’ and when we all got done he was always dancing a lot?” 

Alex remembered those mornings well. Even if he got to the restroom first, even if he’d woken up BURSTING to go, he’d pretty much always step aside and let his siblings use it first. Those waits could get very, VERY long, his bladder would be screaming every time he heard the toilet flush! But, he made himself wait and go LAST because he was the oldest, it was his job to keep the younger ones as comfortable as possible, even if it meant enduring a lot of discomfort of his own. 

Some of those mornings hadn’t ended too well for him; Sometimes, he DIDN’T make it completely, and on a couple occasions he didn’t make it in time at all… Papa had been angry at him then, had called him ‘self-centered’ for wetting the floor beneath his feet just because he ‘didn’t feel like waiting.’ 

Those arguments were one of the many things Alex wondered about when he’d begun questioning Papa’s teachings; Alex had held it to the point of pain and then lost control of his bladder all from a desire to help and care for his siblings. He’d been putting other people first at the expense of his own needs, how in the world could anyone think that meant he was ‘self-centered’? 

Adam had heard Alex talk about the long line for the restroom at his old home before, but hadn’t known he would deliberately choose to go last… “Did you do that every morning?” he asked. 

“Most of the time,” Alex said. “There were some days where I woke up and knew right away that I wouldn’t be able to make it, so I’d ask them all if it was okay for me to go first. But, other than that I always let them all use it ahead of me.” 

Adam was impressed. When he’d lived with his parents and had needed to share a bathroom with his younger brother, if he got to it first then that was just that; He’d be the first to pee. And, sometimes there had been arguments when they’d both reached it at the same time and were both desperate to use it. “Wow, that was so sweet of you,” he said. “You’ve always taken such good care of them…” 

Alex nodded. “Th—Thank you… I wish they’d repay me by NOT talking about all this embarrassing stuff…” 

The kids still hadn’t stopped recounting the funniest stories they could recall of seeing their older brother dying for the toilet. Hearing all the stories aloud now, Alex was actually a bit surprised by how many there were. Some of them were things HE’D forgotten about himself. 

“Remember at church?” Prudence said. “The day the bathroom door there was stuck? I was sitting next to him, and when it was time to pray I could hear him asking God to please open it.” 

Adam snorted a tiny laugh, picturing Alex sitting there when it was time to pray, unable to think of anything other than “Please, please, please make the door come open now, please? I can’t hold it…” 

Alex covered his face, “Um… You know, the thing is… After the service was over, I went back to the restroom, and the door was actually working again… I could go.” 

“Awww,” Adam said. “That’s good.” 

Alex couldn’t stop blushing, and the kids kept telling more stories. He finally got them to stop when he said it was time for a snack and started preparing sandwiches for them. While he did this, he discovered the worst thing about having one’s bladder be a topic of conversation for half an hour; It meant it felt really, REALLY awkward to excuse oneself to the restroom afterwards. 

Alex had held his bladder until it pretty much just broke not too long ago, the organ was sore and worn out now, and already felt pretty full again. He knew better than to let a little embarrassment stop him from voicing his need again, but he still dreaded having to do it. Once he’d set all of the plates down on the table, he immediately told everyone to wait and that he’d be back in a couple minutes. 

“Don’t use the potty this time,” Ben snickered, picking up his sandwich. 

“Keep the floor clean,” Prudence added. 

Alex was positive Ben was making fun of him, but Prudence’s voice sounded… actually genuine. Like, she legitimately thought she was giving him important instructions. 

He wasn’t sure which of those was more embarrassing. 

Alex relieved himself easily— Using the proper toilet this time— and came back quickly. He hoped that maybe he could last until the kids’ bedtime before he needed to go again. 

The rest of the afternoon went well, Alex and Adam played several games with the kids, sometimes struggling to keep up with their energy levels. There was one problem, however. Adam had looked after his own younger brother a few times growing up, but that was just ONE kid and they were pretty close to the same age, anyway. He’d helped Alex watch his siblings before as well, but never for an entire day. 

And, well… There were so many of them to keep an eye on, and when they got into hyperactive moods, they needed to be watched more carefully, and… It wasn’t always easy to find a moment to take a pee break. One of them would always be needing something, or an argument would need to be dealt with, or someone would be playing too rough… And even though this house had two restrooms, any time Adam thought he had a chance to go, he’d find both of those doors shut. 

By the time he and Alex had to start getting the kids ready for bed, Adam was beyond bursting. The relief he’d had on the potty chair while trying to cheer Alex up had been hours and hours ago, and he hadn’t released a drop since. He really should have had a quick pee when Alex had gone earlier, everything had been nice and calm then. Had he known how busy the rest of the day was going to get, he would have been more mindful of his bladder. 

None of the kids put up a fuss about bedtime, at least. It all went pretty smoothly. Mary still wasn’t old enough to take a bath by herself, and the whole time he and Alex were helping her, Adam kept staring at the toilet as his bladder begged him to use it. ‘Just forget it’s there,’ he ordered himself. But that was not an easy thing to accomplish when the room was so small and the toilet was always in his field of vision. 

Not helping his problem was the way Mary kept splashing around in the bathwater. Every slosh of liquid inside the tub made the liquid inside Adam slosh too. Before he knew it, he was sort of walking in place as he rocked back and forth to try to quell the pangs from within.

Alex got Mary all clean and dry and helped her into her pajamas. When he pulled the plug out of the tub and the water began to noisily drain away, Adam had to cross his legs as his own ‘water’ fought to drain out as well. ‘Soon,’ he promised his bladder. ‘Not much longer.’ 

“Thank you for behaving in the tub, Mary,” Alex said, kneeling down and kissing her on the forehead. 

Mary hugged him tightly, and it would have been a sweet thing to watch had Adam not been so desperate for Alex to take Mary OUT of the restroom so he could finally use it… 

But, of course, there was ONE more thing Alex wanted Mary to do before bed, and it was the most torturous thing possible for Adam’s throbbing bladder. 

“Can you go potty for me before you go to sleep?” Alex asked her. 

“Okay,” Mary said. 

Adam was glad that her fears really DID seem to be gone now. He really was! But, he didn’t want to be in here while she did the same thing he NEEDED to do. “Um… I’ll wait in the hall,” he said. “Give her some more privacy, and stuff…” He exited the restroom, his bladder convulsing with confusion when he took it further away from relief. He stood outside the door, jiggling in place with discomfort. 

He wasn’t having an emergency or anything, there was no doubt in his mind that he could carry on holding this for a while longer. It was just extraordinarily uncomfortable. His urge was impossible to ignore, it was always there, bearing down against his opening and occasionally pulsing with sharper and more painful twinges. Bouncing up and down helped soothe those pangs a little bit. Bouncing, and the knowledge that he’d definitely be able to go very soon. 

Even on the other side of the door, Adam could overhear when Mary successfully used the potty. His thighs clenched and his knees turned in to rub against one another. 

“Yay!” he heard Alex cheer. “Great job! No more accidents, right Mary?” 

“Nope!” Mary replied. 

Then, Adam was forced to listen as Alex emptied the potty into the toilet… And the sound of liquid spattering against porcelain was like a hammer against his bladder. He knelt down slightly, hands tugging at the bottoms of his shorts. There WAS a second bathroom, Adam could go there and empty himself out right now, but he knew Alex still needed his help with the rest of the bedtime routine. That wouldn’t even take very long, Adam could definitely still wait. 

When the toilet flushed, Adam’s mind and body went haywire for a moment, trying to prove Alex’s assertion that there weren’t going to be any more accidents incorrect. He flashed back to past experiences of waiting in line for a restroom, and how that particular noise always meant that relief was very close. Without his command, his muscles loosened themselves a little and he felt a bit of heat right at the exit of his bladder. “Oooh…” he mumbled, crossing his legs together tightly as the sensation slowly died down. 

Next, he heard the sink come on as Alex washed his hands and helped Mary wash hers. This got Adam squirming again, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as hearing the toilet get flushed. Then, finally, the door opened. Against his will, Adam’s eyes flew in the direction of the toilet and remained fixed there. 

Alex was holding Mary’s hand to take her to her bedroom, but he paused as he looked at his boyfriend. Before, Alex wouldn’t have been able to tell very easily what was up with Adam. There were, after all, lots of reasons a person would look tense and nervous. But, when potty-training his siblings, Alex had learned to look for certain, subconscious little ’cues’ they gave when they needed to pee. All of them had a particular habit that they’d only do when they needed to go— Things like hair-twirling or knuckle-chewing. 

And, after watching several of his siblings grow up, he realized that no matter how old they got they never actually ‘outgrew’ those little habits. Ben, for example, was well past potty-training age but he still dug his nails into his arms whenever he really needed to go. 

It had been necessary for Alex to look for those signs in his siblings, and he didn’t notice that he’d developed a bit of a habit of his own of watching for those signs in EVERYONE until he suddenly realized that he’d learned what Adam’s ‘tell’ was; If Adam had to pee badly and was wearing shorts, he’d usually tug at the bottom of their legs. 

It was a good thing Alex had picked up on it, though. Otherwise he would have just powered through and asked Adam to help him tuck the kids into bed. But, since Alex could easily figure out what was troubling his boyfriend, instead he said “I’ll get Mary to her bed while you use the restroom, okay?” 

Immediately, Adam was blushing. Alex had predicted that. 

“Awww,” Mary pouted. “I wanted Adam to read me a bedtime story!” 

Alex had not predicted that. “I can do it,” he said. 

“Adam does better voices,” Mary said bluntly. 

Adam blushed even more. But, now it was because he was flattered rather than embarrassed. “O—Okay,” he said. “I can read to you. Let’s go to your room and pick a book.” 

“Yay!” Mary cheered, breaking free of Alex’s grasp and running in the direction of the room she shared with Charity. 

Alex turned to Adam. “I can do it,” he said. “It’s already past her bedtime, and you have to—“ 

“I can wait a few more minutes,” Adam assured, walking after Mary and trying to ignore the way his bladder shook with every step. He really DID need to go, but there were two restrooms readily available to him right now. He had no reason to panic, he could pee after he read Mary her story. 

Alex followed him, and when he saw what book Mary had picked, he thought for sure Adam was going to change his mind; It was one of her potty-training books. One about the importance of choosing to go before it became an emergency. 

But, Adam didn’t change his mind. He didn’t say “Actually, I think Alex should read to you tonight, my throat is sore,” or any other excuse. He just sat down on one of the beds in-between Mary and Charity and opened the book. 

Alex watched as Adam read aloud the story of a boy that was going to his best friend’s house and sort of needed to pee at the start of the visit. But, the boy was too excited to play with his friend and thought that since it wasn’t an ‘emergency’, he could just wait until later. 

Throughout the visit, the boy’s need got worse and worse and worse, but something more interesting always came up. Things like squirt gun fights, new flavors of juice, and playing with water balloons— All of these activities were described with a great deal of watery sound effects. 

Adam kept clenching his teeth together and hissing through them to produce the sounds written out in the book. “Hsssss… Psssshhhh…” Mary was right, Adam was a talented voice actor. Each noise sounded very, very realistic, almost exactly like a real jet of water. 

Just as before, when Adam had been made to listen to all the liquidy noises inside the restroom, the spraying sounds from his very own mouth were making him bounce and jiggle and cross his legs. Even though his squirming was jostling the bed, neither of the girls seemed to be noticing it. 

Alex sure was noticing it, though. He noticed all of it. He noticed how Adam wriggled and bobbed. He noticed how Adam’s legs tangled together. He noticed how Adam’s jaw would tense as he read out the sentence that concluded each scene of the book; ‘Todd had to go pee, but it still wasn’t an EMERGENCY.’ The corners of Adam’s eyes would crinkle slightly with tension every time he said the word ‘pee’, like just speaking the word aloud caused another cup of it to be dumped into his bladder. 

By the halfway point of the book, Adam was constantly leaning forwards and back, unable to decide which was the least uncomfortable. Too far forward, and his bladder was being squished and compressed. Too far back, and it felt like it was being stretched out. 

Now, in the book, the boy had decided that it finally WAS an emergency and that he couldn’t hold it. But, when he ran to the bathroom to go, his friend’s mom was busy showering. She couldn’t even hear him knocking and telling her he had to pee! 

Adam had to tense his thighs very, very tightly as he forced himself to make the hissing sounds the book described coming out of the shower. His rocking picked up in speed as he read out the dialogue “‘Please,’ Todd said. ‘I need to pee! I need to pee! I need to pee!’” It felt to him like he was giving a voice to the panicked cries inside his own body, but doing so wasn’t helping to soothe his urge at all. 

“You do such good voices,” Charity praised him. “Alex always just reads the words, but you sound like you mean them.” 

Adam blushed, unsure if he was grateful Charity thought the pained tone of his voice was just a performance, or wishful that she’d realize the reason it sounded like he really meant what he was saying was because he really, REALLY did… 

Alex watched his boyfriend’s fidgeting speed up, becoming more pronounced and frantic. He was starting to worry that Adam was about to wet Mary’s bed… What a nightmare that would be! The both of them would NEVER hear the end of it. Every time they visited, it would be “Remember the time they babysat us, and Alex overflowed Mary’s potty and then Adam peed in her bed?” 

Alex spoke up, “Adam, is your throat tired? I can read the end for you, if you want.” 

Adam looked up at Alex, knowing right away that a moment to rest his voice wasn’t really what Alex was offering him. “Uh—“ 

“No, I want Adam to finish!” Mary complained. 

Charity nodded with a smile. “Yeah, his voices are so funny with this one!” 

“O—Okay,” Adam promised. “I’ll read the end, don’t worry.” There were only a small handful of pages left, he could last through that. He could! 

Although, those last few pages were absolute MURDER on his bladder. So many water sound effects because of the shower, and then even MORE when the main character’s friend started re-filling the squirt guns in the kitchen. Adam had to read out the line “I need to pee!” more times than he could count, and each time it got harder and harder not to tack on something like “And I MEAN it, I really DO have to pee! Bad!” 

At the conclusion of the story, the mom finishes showering and the boy makes it to the toilet just in time, with the lesson being that he should have gone as soon as he’d first realized he needed to. 

Watching Adam palm his crotch for a split second as he closed the book, Alex hoped his boyfriend would decide to LISTEN to that lesson… 

“Y—You liked that?” Adam asked the girls. 

They both nodded, and Charity gave him a hug. A very, very tight hug that made it feel like a rope was being tightened firmly around his bladder. “Ooooh—“ he winced softly. 

“Oh, I think he’s ticklish!” Charity smiled.

“Wait—“ 

But, it was too late, Charity had begun to dig her fingers all up and down Adam’s side, and then Mary was trying to assail him from the other. Adam was unable to hold in his laughter, which only egged them on even more— “Stop—Stop it!— Stop—“ he begged, very close to being unable to hold in something else. 

“Al—Alright,” Alex interrupted. “Time for bed. That’s enough.” 

The girls released Adam and Charity scurried back into her own bed. Adam tried to catch his breath while he gingerly stood up, cradling his lower stomach as he tried not to let his hands go between his legs. “Goodnight,” he said with another wince. “Sleep well—“ 

“Can’t we have another story?” Mary asked. 

“Only if Alex reads it,” Adam said, letting his legs cross back together. “I have something I need to do right now.” 

“Pleaaase?” Charity begged. 

“N—No, I REALLY need to go,” Adam said, inching closer and closer towards the door. 

“You guys need to go to sleep now anyway,” Alex emphasized. “Adam will read you another story another time. Don’t worry.” 

“Okay…” Mary said.

“Yeah…” Charity agreed. 

Once outside the room, Alex gently shut the door. Adam stood there for a few seconds, lifting his legs rapidly one right after the other. He wanted to break into a sprint for the toilet, but his bladder was convulsing like mad and causing him to remain rooted to his place. 

Alex smiled, “D—Do you need me to help you walk there?” 

“Please?” Adam asked. “Feels like I’m gonna come apart if I move too fast…” 

“You should have gone earlier,” Alex scolded, taking Adam’s arm and leading him down the hallway. 

“I know…” Adam moaned. 

Before they could reach the restroom, they heard the front door opening. Alex’s Mom and Grandmother had both returned home. Mom approached them quickly and started asking all sorts of questions about how the kids had behaved. 

Alex fielded all of them as Adam wriggled beside him. He nudged his boyfriend’s shoulder, trying to encourage him to just GO while he talked to his Mom, but Adam remained where he was in spite of his obvious distress. 

“Did you have any… Any luck with Mary today?” 

“We did, actually,” Alex said. “She used the potty a few times. I figured out a way to make her less afraid of it.” 

“Really?” Mom asked. “What did you do?” 

“Uh—Um… Well…” Alex stumbled over his words. “I… I kind of—“ 

“Act-Actually!” Adam interrupted, hoping to spare Alex from a bit of humiliation by shouldering all the embarrassment onto himself. “Uh— Sp—Speaking of… That… I need to go. Bad. They behaved well, but kept us really busy, so—“ 

“Oh,” Mom said. “I won’t keep you two any longer, then.” 

“Thank you,” Adam said, and he finally resumed his urgent hobbling towards the restroom. “C—Come on, Alex. You can go first if you want.” 

Alex was confused at first, he supposed he could probably pee now if he gave it a try, but Adam had been bursting for a long time… Then, he realized Adam was just trying to rescue him from the conversation and followed after him. “That’s fine, Adam. You can go first.” 

“Thanks,” Adam said, rushing into the restroom and shutting the door behind himself. 

Knowing Adam’s plan to save him from the embarrassment of telling Mom exactly HOW he’d potty-trained Mary, Alex stayed glued to the restroom door and made himself shimmy around; Trying to appear as though he definitely had to pee too badly to talk to someone! 

It felt REALLY weird to be doing a pee-dance when his bladder felt pretty much entirely empty. Alex hoped it still looked real and natural. He hitched his hips from side to side and crossed his legs, but since nothing inside him was actually TELLING him to fidget and bounce it was hard to keep up a frantic appearance. 

Inside the restroom, Adam was having NO trouble at all appearing frantic with need! He was in such a rush to get the toilet open that he accidentally slammed the lid and seat against the tank hard enough to create a loud slamming sound. Now with the bowl available to him, his bladder cramped and sprung a leak. He tensed his thighs to plug it back up, but it didn’t work, so by the time he was freeing himself from his boxers the material encasing his prosthetic was pretty damp and sodden. 

Pee glided out and onto the rim of the bowl as Adam started to pee full-force before he could aim. It splattered off the rim and against his knees and he hurried to correct himself, then his urine was pounding into the water so thunderously that he was glad Alex didn’t ACTUALLY need to go right now— If his boyfriend had really been desperate, Adam would have felt just awful making him listen to this… 

As it was though, Adam felt amazing. The sensation of his bladder compressing, shrinking and crumpling back down to its proper size was enough to get him moaning. He also felt very silly for letting himself get SO desperate tonight, especially whenever he remembered certain lines from the picture book he’d been asked to read. He was a grown adult, but the lesson in a book for toddlers was one that had been lost on him this evening. 

He finished and used a bit of toilet paper to clean up the little puddle from when he’d missed, then dabbed it against his damp knees a few times. When he zipped himself back up, he cringed at the clammy, cold slickness he felt over his crotch… He’d seriously almost had an accident there! 

He left the restroom, and tried not to laugh when he saw Alex’s very exaggerated pee-dancing… He didn’t bounce or hold himself THAT much even when he was ACTUALLY desperate!

Alex’s over-acting continued when he then started to push himself past Adam, “Oh, thank you!” he gasped out. “I’m barely holding on!” 

Adam bit his lip. He needed to teach Alex how to act in a way that was less… Hammy. ‘Silly guy…’ 

Adam stayed by the door, listening as Alex DID actually choose to go. A short trickle hit the toilet bowl, certainly nothing that justified Alex’s performance out here, and then Alex was back out a minute later. 

Even if Alex wasn’t a great actor, it was at least enough to keep him from needing to tell his Mom he’d used a potty chair today. She didn’t need to know that. 

*** 

The following day, Alex received a phone call from his Mom. She thanked him again for helping with the kids, and for convincing Mary to use the potty chair. “But… Charity tells me… Alex, did you… Did you have an ‘accident’ yesterday?” she asked. 

“Wh—What—“ 

“Because… I don’t mean to embarrass you, but I could tell you were having an emergency when you came to the house yesterday… And when you were waiting for Adam outside the restroom you were doing a dance I haven’t seen you do since you were three… Then, Charity said you… Got the floor wet at some point yesterday too… Are you having problems, sweetie?” 

“N—No— I—“ Alex stammered. “I just—“ 

“I know, it’s very embarrassing— Especially when you’re still so young— But, if there’s something going on, you could try kegel exercises. I had to do that for a while after some of you were born, it’s—“ 

“That’s… That’s not it,” Alex said. “I… Um… I did have to go really bad when I came over yesterday, but that’s just because I forgot to pee when I got up!” 

“You shouldn’t do that, Alex…” 

“I— I know… And the thing in the evening… Like Adam said, we were REAL busy all day. That’s all.” 

“And what Charity said?” 

“I… Look…” Alex worried at his lip. “I— Okay. I wanted Mary to stop being scared of the potty, so I… Used it to show her there was no big deal, and I just went too much.” 

“… Oh.” 

“Yeah…” 

“At least it worked… Mary hasn’t had any accidents at all today.” 

“That’s great,” Alex said, genuinely happy to hear it.

Link to comment

Camille was Adam’s friend. But, Alex got the feeling she didn’t like HIM that much at all. In fact, he KNEW that she didn’t. He’d seen text messages she and Adam had exchanged when Adam had first met him, and through all of them, Camille is trying to convince Adam to stay away from him. Warning him that Alex was surely just like his Papa and the others, and making all sorts of assumptions as to why Alex shouldn’t be trusted. Every time, Adam would tell her that he wanted to get to know Alex, that Alex obviously needed a friend and was lonely, that he didn’t think Alex was all that much like his Papa at all… But, Camille still advised Adam against talking to Alex, that one day he’d turn on him. 

Alex was, of course, glad that Adam hadn’t listened to any of that. But, it still hurt that one of his partner’s friends didn’t like him. And for something that he couldn’t control. It wasn’t his choice to be born into a community like the one he’d grown up in. But, it HAD been his choice to leave, so that had to count for something, right? 

Alex knew he probably wasn’t supposed to see those messages, but once he had, he couldn’t get them out of his mind. “Does your friend hate me?” he asked Adam one day. 

“Huh? What friend?” 

“Camille,” Alex said. “I saw all these messages. She said she wants you to stay away from me?” 

“Oh,” Adam rubbed the back of his neck. “When I told her about your family and all that super conservative stuff, and the… group they were in, she thought you’d be… Closed minded and bigoted and stuff. She’s trans just like we are, and back then she thought that if you knew who I was, you’d hurt me. But, you aren’t like that at all. She knows that now. I’ve told her so much about you.” 

Alex wasn’t so sure. 

Alex didn’t go with Adam when he visited Camille. He stayed home in the apartment. Adam wished he wouldn’t, though. 

“Come on, you should go with me,” Adam said. 

“No,” Alex said. “Camille already hates me.” 

“Camille doesn’t hate you,” Adam insisted. “She was scared that you would judge her before you got to know her just because she’s trans, since she’s had bad experiences with religion before. And, because of that, she judged YOU before getting to know you just because of who your family is. She told me she was sorry, and she knows I’m a good judge of character. She wants to say sorry to you too, and to get to know you.” 

“…She does?” Alex asked, sounding skeptical. 

“She does,” Adam said. “Whenever I go see her, you’re pretty much all I can talk about. Of course she wants to meet you.” 

Alex looked away. “I… I don’t know, Adam,” he said. “She said I ‘didn’t deserve’ you…” 

“And she’s sorry,” Adam said. “She rushed to judge you, like I said. Just… Give her a chance, okay?” 

“…Okay,” Alex said. If Adam could forgive Camille, maybe he could as well. 

So, the next weekend, they went to visit her and spend the night. Camille’s place was a lot smaller. But, she lived alone and didn’t have any pets, so that was probably okay. “Adam!” Camille waved energetically as he stepped inside. “And, you must be Alex! How are you liking the real world with all us heathens?” 

Alex blinked a few times, his neck bristling. If what Adam had said about her was true, then he knew she wasn’t trying to make him feel uncomfortable… But he still DID feel uncomfortable. “Um… Hello,” he said. She was wearing a long Summer dress, and Alex thought for a moment about how she must have spent her whole life wishing she could wear that kind of thing while Alex had grown up wishing he could wear literally anything else. 

“Well, come in, I don’t bite,” Camille said.

Alex hesitantly stepped inside. Camille had some unusual decorations. Lots of them were shaped like weird monsters and creatures. Alex could recognize one of the posters on the wall as being for a particularly gruesome horror movie he’d seen five minutes of on TV and then had nightmares about for a month. He gathered from the blood present on the other posters that they were from horror movies as well. 

“Oh, have you seen that one?” Camille asked, noticing him looking at the poster. “It’s great.” 

Alex just nodded. 

“We can watch one of them today,” Camille said. “Help me find the remote— You know what remotes look like, right?” 

Alex felt like his feet were falling out from under him. Was she making fun of him for being sheltered, or seriously asking a question? He looked behind himself at Adam. 

Adam let out an awkward laugh, “Of course he knows what TV remotes look like, silly. He’s not a caveman.” 

“Oh,” Camille said. “Just have to make sure, I know a lot of families like that ban TV so their kids don’t get exposed to the fact society exists.” 

Alex thought it would probably be a bad idea to mention that most TV programs really WERE banned at his old home. He didn’t want Camille to carry on thinking he was totally out of touch. Even if he kind of was… 

Alex found the remote on the couch, “H—Here,” he said. 

“Okay, good,” Camille said. “Just leave it there for now, I’m gonna make some popcorn. Has Adam shown you how to do that yet?” 

Alex worried at his lip. “We… We did make popcorn at my old house…” he said. 

“Oh?” Camille said, genuinely surprised. “Did they make you eat it unsalted and unbuttered?” 

“Huh? No,” Alex said. “Why would they?” 

Camille shrugged. “I just figured, since they didn’t want you to experience any kind of joy, that—“ 

“Camille,” Adam interrupted quickly and sharply. “I’ll help you with the popcorn.” 

Alex slumped onto the couch. This wasn’t going well at all! 

*** 

“Do you have to do that?” Adam demanded in a harsh whisper once he and Camille were in the kitchen. 

“Do what?” 

“You know what,” Adam said. “You are making him uncomfortable.” 

“I’m… I’m not trying to,” Camille said. “I’m just curious. I’ve never met anyone from a different planet before.” 

Adam stared at her, his mouth set into a harsh line. 

“You KNOW what I mean,” Camille said. “Come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t think he came from a different world at first too.” 

“I did,” Adam admitted. “But, I didn’t try to make him FEEL like an alien. I’m sure he feels that way enough on his own.” 

“Oh…” 

“Look, I know you’re not TRYING to make fun of him,” Adam said. “Or, at least I HOPE not—“ 

“—I’m not—“ 

“But, don’t talk to him about that stuff unless HE brings it up,” Adam said. “Growing up that way, and especially LEAVING— None of that was easy on him, sometimes he doesn’t even want to talk to ME about all of it. Just— Forget where he comes from and treat him like every other guy, okay?” 

Adam hoped that Camille could understand and relate to what he was saying. Alex had a life ‘before’ and a life ‘after’. Just like she did. She had her life ‘before’ where she’d pretended to be a man, and her life ‘after’ where she could live as a woman. Much like Alex. Just, in Alex’s ‘before’ he hadn’t just been pretending to be a different gender, he’d been living in a very unusual way as well. Alex had needed to go through two enormous transitions simultaneously; From a fake girl to a real man and from a sheltered, isolated life to living among society. 

“O—Okay,” Camille said. “I didn’t mean to upset him. It’s just… It’s interesting, you know?” 

Adam could understand that to an extent. Alex’s wonder at the world around him was like nothing Adam had seen before, and it was indeed very interesting to watch him discover things that had become so mundane to Adam. “I know. But, remember, he’s a person. Not an exhibit in a museum.” 

They made the popcorn, and Camille ordered a couple pizzas as well. One cheese for Adam, and one with lots of meat for herself and Alex. “What’s it like having to eat vegetarian stuff most nights?” she asked him. “Does it get boring?”

Some of Alex’s tension eased. That question wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable. “It’s not bad,” he shrugged. He wanted to add that he hadn’t really tried that many foods before he lived with Adam, so he was nowhere near bored with any of it yet. But, he didn’t want to give Camille another reason to bring up his past. “Tofu is good.” 

“It tastes like nothing,” Camille said. 

“You just have to season it,” Adam protested. “Of course if you eat it plain it doesn’t taste like much!” 

When the pizza arrived, Adam grabbed Alex a few slices piled high with various meats. He then grabbed a packet of red pepper flakes. “You like spicy foods?” he asked. 

Alex nodded. He LOVED spicy foods. 

“If you put this stuff on the pizza, that will make it hotter. You wanna try that?” 

More nodding. Of course he wanted that! 

Adam pulled open the packet and seasoned Alex’s pizza slices. “There you go, my little spice head,” he said, giving Alex a kiss on the cheek. 

“Awww,” Camille said. “You two are so cute that it’s almost nauseating.” 

Alex chewed on his lip. That… Sounded like a compliment? But, it also kind of didn’t… He wasn’t sure what to make of it. Probably best to stay quiet, he decided. 

As Camille picked a movie for the three to watch, Alex clasped his hands and shut his eyes, beginning to mumble softly. 

“Is… Is he praying to the pizza?” Camille asked. 

“No,” Adam said. “He just likes to say grace before he eats, that’s all.” 

Alex wished the heavy heat would vacate from his chest. He’d always done this before eating a meal. It wasn’t until he met Adam that he learned it wasn’t something everyone did. He remembered thinking it was weird how Adam and his family would just start eating right away, but he hadn’t said anything because he didn’t want to make Adam feel like he was strange. Maybe this was another one of those times where HE was the strange one and Adam had just never brought it up… Once he’d finished his prayer, he looked up. “Is it weird to do that?” 

“No,” Adam promised. “Don’t worry.” 

“Yeah,” Camille said. “I’ve just only ever seen people do that in movies, that’s all.”

Alex felt better after Adam’s reassurance— And especially after Camille’s. He so wanted to show her that he was normal and a good person. 

Adam should have been paying more attention to the movie Camille selected. In the past, Alex had managed to become terrified and wracked with nightmares after watching an absolutely terrible, utterly cheesy ghost movie from the 1960s. The thing was so bad that the wires holding up the ‘floating’ objects were totally obvious in most scenes, and at one point the microphone was even visible above the characters’ heads. The acting had been atrocious, not one person was able to believably convey that they were scared by any of the supernatural events happening in the paper-thin excuse for a ‘plot’. 

But, Alex had been so frightened after watching it that he’d spent the entire night clinging onto Adam— Which became pretty big problem when Adam woke up needing the toilet in the worst way and had had a difficult time waking Alex to let him up. Eventually, he’d had to shove Alex pretty hard and almost shout “Alex, if you don’t let go, I’m gonna pee all over the place!”

There was another occasion where Alex accidentally caught a brief snippet of a much more gruesome horror film, and the very same thing had happened. 

So, given what Adam knew about Alex and his ability to handle scary movies, he was pretty sure that a horror film with top-notch special effects focusing on demonic possession of all things was NOT something Alex should be shown. When he saw the title flash on the screen, he looked over at Camille. “Um… Hey, is there anything else we can watch tonight?” 

Camille frowned, “But, we’ve been waiting for this thing to come out for months!” she reminded. 

“I… I know,” Adam said. He was trying to avoid saying anything along the lines of ‘But my boyfriend gets scared easily by these movies, and I think demons are a topic he’s probably very sensitive about.’ Alex already felt like such an outsider, telling Camille they had to watch something else on his behalf would make him feel worse. “Um… Alex?” he asked. “Is this movie okay with you?” 

Alex had been feeling wary ever since he’d seen what the movie was called and learned it involved exorcisms. But, he so badly wanted Camille to like him. That wouldn’t happen if he complained about her taste in movies. “It’s… It’s fine,” he said. 

“You’re sure?” Adam asked. 

“Yeah,” Alex nodded. He had his pizza to focus on, anyway. He’d just keep his eyes on his plate instead of on the screen. That way he wouldn’t get too scared. 

Camille pressed play and the film began. 

It was hard not to look at the screen, there was so much screaming taking place on it. Alex took a bite of his pizza. Adam was right, the red pepper flakes did make it taste better. But, when another scream tore through the speakers, he jumped and nearly choked. 

Adam put a hand on Alex’s shoulder and leaned in close, “Remember, none of this is real, okay? It’s just pretend.” 

Alex knew that, of course. But, he didn’t know if ALL demons were pretend or just the ones in the movie. At his old home, there had been lots of talk about demons, and about how they could possess people and take control of their bodies and brains. This idea had been horrifying to Alex growing up, that something could come inside him and turn him into something he wasn’t. Whenever he got sick as a child, which happened often since doctor’s visits had been forbidden, he thought that his body was trying to ward off a demon and that he needed to pray extra hard to make sure it didn’t manage to force its way into him. 

He’d had doubts later about Papa’s demon stories. Papa had said Adam and his family all had demons in them. But, every story he’d ever heard about demons had involved people speaking in raspy, hissing voices and being able to climb walls and rotate their limbs in unnatural ways. Nobody in Adam’s family could do those things. Papa told him that was because the demons were smart and knew how to hide when people were around, but his house and Adam’s house had been so close together. He was able to see into their kitchen from his room, and at no point was there ever anything scary and weird going on in there. 

So, he knew Papa had definitely been lying about THOSE demons, but that didn’t mean there just weren’t ANY, did it? 

Alex kept his eyes glued to the plate in his lap and kept eating his spicy pizza. Which prompted him to gulp down all of his water very, very quickly. Once he was out of pizza, he no longer had anything else to pay attention to other than the gruesome scenes taking place on screen. When he looked up, a demon was bursting out of a woman’s chest to scream at a priest reciting prayers. Alex shuddered, and he pressed himself against Adam. 

Adam took his hand immediately and started to rub it soothingly. “Shhh…” he whispered softly. “It’s not real, it’s not real.” 

“I know,” Alex whimpered back. 

Adam pulled Alex closer, “Don’t be scared, it’s just a movie,” he said. “I’ve got you.” 

Alex trembled in Adam’s arms. Adam felt warm at the feeling of Alex’s body pressed so firmly into his own, and he felt terrible for it. Snuggly Alex may have been the best kind of Alex, but it was a lot less fun when Adam knew he was terrified. He rubbed his side. “Shhh…” 

After several more grizzly moments in the film, Alex began to feel a reminder of all the water he’d swallowed. He clenched his already shaking thighs together and told himself to ignore it. Camille had turned out all the lights when she’d put the movie on and by now the sun was setting. It was pitch dark, except for the flickering of the television. The twisting shadows Alex saw creeping into the hallway that he knew led to the toilet looked downright petrifying. He couldn’t get up and maneuver himself through this place. At least not alone! 

He needed Adam to walk with him to the bathroom. He needed Adam to hold onto his arm the whole way there. He needed Adam to stand right there next to him, to guard him while he urinated. 

But… Camille would see if they went to the toilet together. Camille would think that was very weird! Alex KNEW it was weird that he and Adam peed together so often, he KNEW most couples didn’t share literally EVERY moment like that. Camille would probably ask why Alex couldn’t just go pee by himself. And Camille already thought he was strange, and out of touch. If he admitted a movie had scared him so bad that he couldn’t go to the toilet alone, her opinion of him would definitely not improve. 

He’d hold it. Maybe once the movie was over and the lights came back, he’d feel brave enough to make the walk to the restroom on his own. 

Except, now that he’d noticed he needed to go, it was getting worse fast. Subconsciously, he’d begun to press himself against Adam, almost grinding on him in an attempt to quell his bladder’s fury. 

Adam’s eyes widened at Alex’s movements. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t… Appreciate them an awful lot, but he was a little confused. Alex was definitely not the kind of guy to act frisky like this when they weren’t alone. And, why was THAT on his mind right now, anyway? Wasn’t he currently scared out of his wits? 

Not to mention, Alex rocking against him, bouncing him around… It was making Adam wish he’d taken a bathroom break before the movie had started. He wasn’t desperate or anything, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how nice a quick pee would feel right about now. He could ask Camille to pause the film, he supposed. But… Alex was absolutely GLUED to him at the moment, and trembling like a leaf in a harsh breeze. Even IF Alex managed to let go of him long enough for him to go use the toilet, Alex would be left alone for all that time! And, Adam absolutely did NOT want to leave his shaking, terrified boyfriend by himself right now. He knew that his presence was the only thing keeping Alex from falling apart with fear. 

He’d hold it. Maybe once the movie was over and the lights came back on, Alex would feel brave enough to be by himself for a couple minutes. 

Adam tried not to fidget with his need. Alex was basically on top of him after all, and he had a feeling that making any sudden movements would startle Alex enough that he’d scream— Which would be painfully embarrassing for the poor thing. Adam tried to make do with just slightly rocking his hips back and forth, an action that seemed to do more harm than good as the liquid he was holding sloshed to and fro within him. 

Alex felt Adam starting to tremble. ‘He must be scared, too!’ Alex realized. Adam was surely just putting on a brave face right now for Alex’s benefit, trying not to let on how frightened he really was to avoid freaking him out. That was so much like Adam, to try and assure Alex he was his big, strong protector. Alex tightened his arms around Adam, both in gratitude and a desire to help him calm down. 

For some reason, Adam let out a little squeak when Alex squeezed him— A noise which made Alex jump and his bladder lurch. A single drop exited its prison. Just one. Just. One. But still, enough to make Alex blush and tense his body up even more. 

‘Oh, God, Alex…’ Adam thought. ‘I know you’re scared , but PLEASE…’ The tight, constricting embrace around his body made it feel like an anvil had been dropped on his bladder. Alex’s arms cut into him worse than a belt that was three sizes too small. And Alex was still doing the grinding thing up against him. Every so often, he’d speed up his motions, then go suddenly still and rigid, then continue on. 

It was affecting Adam. It was affecting Adam in a couple of ways. One of them very pleasant— One that made him wish he and Alex weren’t staying the night here and were instead going to be nestled together in their own bed soon. But, the other wasn’t pleasant at all— Alex was mashing and jostling the fuck out of his poor bladder, every bounce making him feel less certain about his ability to keep waiting this out. He tried rubbing Alex’s back to make him settle, but it didn’t seem to be working. 

Nothing could make Alex settle at that point. He was so scared he was fighting back screams, and his bladder felt like it actually WAS screaming. He was so angry with himself, too! There was a perfectly usable toilet not too far away from his current position. There was no real reason that he couldn’t just walk over to it and relieve himself! He was an adult! Adults shouldn’t ever be so scared that they need an escort to go pee!

But, Alex DID need an escort. He hated himself for it, but he did. His bladder seared and kicked and protested against him, begging him to please, please, please just get up and go. But, he couldn’t. Every time he started trying to talk himself into it, another scream would sound from the TV, another spurt would leave his bladder, and he’d find himself totally unable to move. 

Every time Alex got startled, he would press himself more firmly into Adam. Adam’s bladder screamed even louder than the characters in the movie each time this happened. He felt something warm and damp hit his crotch and it completely shocked him, He hadn’t even felt the loss of control at all, he hadn’t felt his bladder loosening, nor the warm rush of pee slipping past his defenses. But, his shorts were indeed growing sodden, so he must have been losing it. He must have simply been so desperate to go that he couldn’t feel any of the relief from his short losses of control. 

‘Alex,’ he wanted to say. ‘Let me up, I’m about to wet my pants.’ But, he couldn’t. Alex needed him right here, holding him, keeping him safe and sound. Alex needed him here a whole lot more than Adam needed to be in the restroom. 

Alex hoped he hadn’t leaked enough for Adam to start feeling it. With their positions, if Alex burst and peed himself, it would hit Adam’s crotch as well and make it look like they’d both had accidents. If Alex lost it, he’d humiliate himself in front of this new person he wanted to have like him. If Alex lost it, he’d humiliate Adam in front of one of his friends! So, Alex had to hold it! He had to! He clenched his thigh muscles and gnashed his teeth together and he held it! 

Finally, after quite a few more jump-scares that caused Alex quite a few more leaks, the movie was over. The credits were rolling. 

Camille finally looked away from the screen and stared at Alex and Adam, hanging off of each other and trembling. That was strange, she’d expected Alex to get kinda freaked out, but these movies never bothered Adam that much. Why was HE so shaky? 

“Did you like it?” Camille asked. 

Adam had barely paid attention through most of it, focused only on Alex and on his bladder. “Y—Yeah,” he said. “Alex? Sweet thing? That wasn’t too much for you, was it?” 

It HAD been too much for Alex. All of it had been too much. The movie had been too much, and the water he’d had to drink had been way, WAY too much. Still, he wanted to appear brave and confident in front of Camille, so he said “I’m okay.” His claim was laughable; He’d made no move to let go of Adam, even as his bladder wept and pleaded for him to let go and run to the toilet before it exploded. 

THAT was a problem for Adam. Was Alex so scared out of his wits that he STILL couldn’t be left on the couch even now that the movie was over? What if Alex clung to him here all night? He’d burst! “Alex,” he said softly. “I’m sorry, I gotta—“ 

“Adam, I need the bathroom now!” Alex blurted out. 

Adam blinked at him. He began to understand why he hadn’t felt it coming out when he’d spurted into his pants. HE hadn’t been the one leaking. He mentally kicked himself. He could have gotten up to pee AGES ago and just brought Alex WITH him! Alex clearly wouldn’t have objected. “You… You do?” 

Alex nodded frantically. His fear hadn’t died down at all since the movie’s conclusion, he still felt like demons were lurking nearby. He still needed Adam to go with him! He struggled to think of an excuse, to think of some reason he needed an escort that DIDN’T involve being frightened. Camille would laugh at him if he admitted how scared he was to go alone! “And— And I don’t know where it is,” he stammered. “I didn’t want to interrupt before! Show me now?” 

Adam knew that that was not the reason Alex was so desperate for him to accompany him. This apartment was tiny. There were only three doors that could possibly lead to a restroom, Alex would have found it for himself easily if he’d gotten up to look. But, he understood why Alex needed Camille to believe that that was the only problem. “Of course, Alex,” Adam said. “I’m ready to burst too,” he admitted. 

At those words, Alex’s heart sank a little. If he’d just SAID something sooner, he would have been able to pee a lot earlier… Camille wouldn’t have guessed Alex was terrified by the movie if he and Alex went together; Not when they were both just really desperate! Alex nodded to him, “Hurry!” he pleaded. 

“You gotta let me up,” Adam reminded. 

Alex reluctantly got to his feet, but he kept one hand clamped around Adam’s wrist for comfort. The other hand was nestled up against his crotch, attempting to plug up any further leakage. 

Adam stood as well. As much as he would have appreciated the ability to hold himself with BOTH hands instead of just one, he made no attempt to squirm his wrist from Alex’s grasp. He had a feeling Alex was always going to be holding onto him in some way for the next several hours at least. 

Camille watched as the two gingerly got to their feet, fidgeting and clutching at themselves. It was a somewhat comical sight; Two adults, joined by their hands, squirming and dancing. “Heh, awww…” she said. “You guys seriously do EVERYTHING together, don’t you?” 

“Y—Yeah,” Adam said with a blush. “Pretty much.” 

“Hurry!” Alex repeated. 

Adam didn’t need to be told twice, he stayed right by Alex’s side as the two of them stumbled towards the restroom and entered it.

Camille was a little surprised when they went in at the same time. Apparently, they weren’t going to wait on one another… Which she supposed was understandable as they were clearly both ready to pop. But, the fact they hadn’t even discussed it with each other suggested they did that often. Often enough that it no longer had to be talked about. 

Inside the restroom, Alex and Adam were both wriggling and shaking so much they were struggling to get themselves unzipped. It didn’t help that Alex was still clinging to Adam’s wrist with one hand. “Can’t hold it…” Alex moaned under his breath. 

“Gonna burst…” Adam muttered. Finally, he managed to grab hold of his zipper and pull it down. “Oh, finally…” he gasped out as he freed his prosthetic and— 

He… Had a very difficult time aiming with a single hand. How he usually did it, he’d use one hand to press the cup of his prosthetic against himself and use the other to aim his stream. One handed just didn’t work for him. He either ‘missed’ the funnel a bit and spilled some of his urine into his pants, or he messed up his aim and got a little on the ground. 

Using just one hand didn’t really work so well for Alex either, which he remembered as he got his own dick out. 

“Gonna have to stop holding my hand for a minute,” Adam said, bouncing up and down in front of the toilet. “You can lean your head on my shoulder if that helps you feel better, though.” 

Alex reluctantly released Adam’s hand and leaned against him instead, pointing his cock at the bowl. 

Adam did the same. Now that he was out and aimed at the toilet, a short hiss of a stream jetted out before he’d given it permission to. He clamped it off, painfully. He needed this SO badly, he wanted to just let go! But, after that awful night in the woods where Alex’s fear had locked his bladder up, Adam didn’t want to allow his own body to relax until he knew for sure that Alex’s also could. 

Alex was just about to let go of his bladder, JUST about to let his muscles cede the fight to the watery torment pushing against them… But, then he noticed Adam wasn’t peeing, that he’d only been able to release a little spurt. So, Alex made himself go tense and rigid. It was torture to make his bladder continue on holding it with the toilet literally RIGHT there in front of him, but if Adam was having trouble, he didn’t want to taunt him. 

When Alex did not release after several seconds, Adam cringed. It had been one thing to help Alex out that night in the tent when he HADN’T also been bursting. It was going to be quite another to do it NOW when he was ready to explode… “Alex?” Adam started to ask, at the same time Alex moaned, “Ohhh, please relax and go now, Adam! I can’t wait anymore!” 

They’d… Been waiting on each other, Adam realized. Just like earlier, during the movie, they’d BOTH been putting one another first without noticing what the other ACTUALLY needed. He felt his cheeks warm as a small smile took over his face. And then he gave his bladder permission to unclench. Pee gushed out and trickled into the water, and Adam’s smile grew as all of his taut muscles instantly grew slack. 

Immediately, Alex’s stream did the same, and his chest began to heave with relief. “Hahhh… Phew…” 

“I… I thought that you couldn’t go…” Adam managed between deep breaths. “Was trying to wait for you…” 

“I thought that YOU couldn’t go!” Alex said. He felt such a delightful sensation of shrinking taking place in his center, the heavy weight of his bladder that he’d been carrying around was rapidly growing smaller and smaller as he depleted it of its liquid. Through the haze of dizzying amounts of relief, he now felt a little worried too. He and Adam certainly weren’t communicating too well tonight! He hoped that didn’t mean they were growing apart from each other! Head still resting against his boyfriend’s shoulder, he nervously nuzzled him as his pee continued spraying. 

“Aww,” Adam said, chest warming. He knew it was awful to take such delight in Alex’s cuddles at the moment; He was doing this out of fear, after all. (Not to mention, Adam was positive that MOST couples didn’t get so touchy-feely with each other while sharing the toilet— Most couples DIDN’T share the toilet at all to begin with!) It still felt good though. It felt even better than peeing did, and that was saying a lot, because WOW did it feel good to pee right now! That was the one nice thing about getting desperate like that, it always made letting it out feel incredible! 

Adam’s stream tapered off first and he let out a long groan as he zipped his shorts back up. Alex finished a few seconds later, exhaling a quiet “That’s better…” while he tucked his prosthetic back away. Immediately, his hand was back around Adam’s wrist, squeezing tight. 

Adam winced. Alex sure was STRONG when he wasn’t putting all his energy towards not pissing his pants… “Um, we gotta wash our hands, remember?” 

Alex nodded, wishing they could do that without him needing to let go of Adam. He did so, very reluctantly, and Adam hugged him, rubbing his back up and down. “You’re okay, Alex. It was just a movie, don’t be frightened.” 

“I’m scared,” Alex said. 

“All of that was fake,” Adam reassured. “You’re alri—“ 

“We’re not good at talking to each other anymore!” Alex blurted out. 

Adam let go of his partner. “Huh? We’re very good at talking to each other, silly.” 

“We both… We held it because we couldn’t tell each other we had to go, and—“ 

“Shhh…” Adam hushed him. “That’s no big deal.” He lowered his voice. “You were real embarrassed to ask me to take you to the bathroom in front of Camille, weren’t you?” 

Alex nodded. “Y—Yeah… And… You probably just didn’t wanna get up and leave me by myself, right?” 

“Yes,” Adam said. “That doesn’t mean we’re bad at talking to each other, it’s perfectly normal that you feel embarrassed saying certain things around certain people.” 

“And… And, it’s good that you wanted to protect me,” Alex said. “You could tell I was scared even though I kept saying that I wasn’t…” 

Adam kept quiet. He didn’t want to point out to Alex that someone would have been able to see that he was scared all the way from Mars. 

Alex hugged Adam again, “Next time, I’ll tell you sooner if I have to go, I promise.” 

“That’s good,” Adam praised. “Hey, if you don’t like saying that in front of everybody, maybe we can use a code-word instead?” 

“Code…Word?” Alex repeated. 

“Yeah,” Adam said. “It’s, like, a phrase that means something different than what you’d think it means. Like, someone could say ‘the canary has landed’ instead of ‘my boyfriend is visiting’, if they didn’t want someone to overhear and know about it.” 

“Oh…” Alex said. “So, I could say… Um… ‘I feel stressed’ instead of ‘I have to pee’ and you’ll know what I need?” 

“Sure. That works,” Adam told him. “And… You know, even if I HADN’T also needed to go earlier, I would have SAID that I did so Camille wouldn’t have figured you wanted a bodyguard. I wouldn’t WANT you to feel ashamed of anything.” 

Alex chewed on his lip. That was another thing he should have known; Adam would have come up with a perfectly reasonable explanation for why Alex wasn’t going to the toilet by himself. One that wouldn’t have been humiliating for him. 

When the two left the restroom, Camille was still waiting in the living room. “Wow,” she remarked. “You guys were gone for a LONG time.” She smiled. “Just what were you boys doing in there?” 

Adam’s eyes flicked over to Alex, and to his surprise he wasn’t blushing at all, just staring blankly. Apparently he hadn’t actually picked up on what Camille was getting at… “Nothing,” Adam said. “We just REALLY needed to go, so it took a while. That’s all.” 

“You know I would have paused the movie, right?” Camille asked. “Because I would totally prefer THAT over having a drenched couch.” 

Alex DID blush then, “We didn’t—“ 

“I know,” Camille interrupted. “But, it sure looked like you were getting close to it. Both of you.” 

Alex looked down at his feet. He knew she was right. He’d leaked a LOT before the movie had finally ended, and if he hadn’t been in Adam’s lap at the time, some of it COULD have ended up on the sofa cushions… If he’d done THAT, then Camille would definitely never like him! “I’m… I’m sorry…” he said quietly. 

Adam squeezed his hand, “She’s only teasing you,” he assured. 

“Yeah,” Camille agreed. “I’m not, like, mad at you or anything. Just… Jesus, were bathroom breaks not allowed where you come from?” 

Adam’s gaze flicked over to her and he narrowed his eyes, trying to communicate the words ‘KNOCK IT OFF!’ without having to open his mouth. 

“Uh—Um…” Alex clutched Adam’s hand tighter. “I… Most of the time they were,” he said. “But, if one of us was acting up, sometimes we’d be locked in a bedroom, and then… Um… I mean SOMETIMES Papa would remember to leave a bucket, but not always, and…” 

Camille’s expression, which had been cheerful and teasing a second ago, fell into a tense line. “O—Oh,” she said. “I’m— That’s— Alex, you know that’s abuse, right?” 

Alex nodded, “Yeah. Adam told me about how it wasn’t normal. He’s told me lots of stuff that happened to me wasn’t normal… Sometimes I mention something that I think must have happened to everybody, and then I find out it isn’t SUPPOSED to happen to anybody.” 

Camille nodded. She was seeing Alex in a new way now. When she’d first heard about him and about the community he was a part of, she’d assumed he must have been an incredibly closed-minded and bigoted person because that was the environment he was raised in. Then she found out he WASN’T actually like that at all and his life of isolation had become a point of interest for her; She’d meant what she’d said earlier, it was like Alex was an alien visiting Earth for the first time. 

But, now she was coming to grasp what all of that isolation had really MEANT for Alex as a person. Not only did it provide a way for his abuse to be hidden from the world, it had kept him from even UNDERSTANDING that what was happening to him WAS abuse in the first place. He’d needed to see a normal family— Adam’s family— interact with one another before the cracks in his own family and community could be visible to him. And that didn’t make her feel curious, it just made her feel sad. What a horrid way to have to grow up. 

“Alex, are you okay?” Camille asked. 

“Huh?” Alex looked up at her. “Y—Yeah, I’m fine now. All better.” 

Camille hadn’t been asking about his bladder. She’d honestly forgotten how this conversation had started. “I meant… I get you don’t wanna talk to me about all that stuff from before, but you DO talk to someone about it, right?” 

“Ohhh,” Alex nodded. “Yeah, I do. I talk to Adam, and people at my new church about it all the time, plus I see a therapist. And I talk to God about it a lot, too. He helps me the most, He’s the one that brought Adam to me, and both of them helped me understand who and where I’m supposed to be.” 

Camille was glad he was seeing a therapist. And, while she didn’t personally believe in God, she still thought it was unbelievably sweet that Alex apparently viewed his relationship with Adam as a gift from a higher power. Alex must have REALLY loved him. Of course, that had been pretty obvious before just from the way she’d seen the two look at each other tonight. And all the way back when Adam had been texting her about Alex, it had become increasingly more and more obvious how utterly smitten he was becoming. 

Every time Camille tried to persuade Adam away from Alex she’d be flooded with messages about how sweet Alex was, how kind and compassionate he was… And, before long, the messages took on a different tone. Adam started to describe how Alex smiled, he started to describe the color of his eyes, the freckles on his face… Then, when Adam gave Alex some things so he could present as a man for the first time… 

‘HOLY SHIT. 

I gave Alex some of my old stuff to try on to help him out, and I saw him wearing it for the first time today, and GOD DAMN. I. I just. I can’t even. He pulled his hair back into a ponytail, and his EYES are like. FUCK. I thought all those romance books you read were just being corny when they talked about getting lost in somebody’s eyes but I GET it now. 

And. Like. He had the cutest blush on his face. And he looked SO nervous cuz all of this is still super new to him and shit. And he was like “How do I look?” and I stg I forgot how to even talk. I just. I couldn’t stop staring at him. And it got him all worried cuz he thought he must have looked bad so I had to be all “Alex no, you look amazing. But, how you FEEL is more important.” and he was like “I feel like ME. For the first time ever. Thank you so much.” And that was the sweetest freaking thing.

God.

I think I love him. 

I really do.

And. Like. I know it probably won’t ever happen cuz I don’t know where he’s gonna end up after all this stuff with his family and that group is over. But. God, Camille. I have NEVER felt like this before. I’ve thought plenty of guys were hot but I’ve NEVER wished I could just. I don’t know. Lay in a hammock with one of them for thirty hours and talk about nothing. I love him so much.’ 

Camille remembered how she’d felt when she’d gotten that message. And the memory made her feel guilty now. Because, when she’d gotten that message, her first emotion had not been delight or happiness for Adam, it had not been hope that he and Alex would be able to be together… She’d instead felt devastated, and she’d hoped that Adam would either stop feeling that way about Alex or Alex would have to go somewhere very far away to escape.

Because, all those things Adam felt for Alex were the things Camille felt for Adam. 

She’d never said a word about it— It wouldn’t have mattered anyway; Adam liked men. But, even knowing that her own crush was doomed from the start, she’d still resented Alex for quite a while. She didn’t as much anymore, but she’d be lying if she said that watching those two cuddle all evening hadn’t been a bit of a gut-punch. “You have a wonderful guy, Alex,” Camille told him. “And I hope you thank God for him every day.” 

Alex smiled, oblivious to Camille’s somberness. “I do!” he said, turning to hug Adam. “He’s the best gift God has ever given to me.” 

Adam hugged him back, “And you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, sweet thing.” 

Camille did her best to ignore the ache in her chest as she went to her room to get them some blankets for the night. They were a cute couple. They really were. They were so sweet, so different from each other and yet so similar at the same time. Like God, or whoever it may have been up there, really HAD made them for each other. She had never seen two people so in love before. And that was great. It was great that they had each other, it was great that they were so happy… 

But, it hurt too.

Link to comment

Alex had been taking testosterone for quite a while now. He liked all of the changes so far. His voice was much deeper and smoother without him needing to make a conscious effort to lower it. He had hair on his chest and stomach, and he liked the way that looked and felt. He no longer got a period, and he was very thankful for that. He had a little bit of stubble on his face now, which he wished would grow faster.


After a while though, Alex started to experience a different kind of change. He HAD been told that it could happen by his doctor and by Adam, but it was still a very new feeling for him. He liked being touched by Adam a lot, and he enjoyed all the times they’d fooled around with each other. But, he’d never been… Distracted by WANTING that at all hours of the day. 

Adam had said that a while after HE’D begun testosterone, there was an ‘increase’ in the frequency of certain… urges. “It’s like you’re going through puberty again,” Adam had explained. But, Alex couldn’t recall feeling quite so ‘amorous’ the first time around. 

At his old home, one of the reasons Papa insisted on timing everyone in the restroom was to make them avoid ‘temptation’. Back then, Alex hadn’t even really known what he was supposed to be ‘tempted’ to do in there. After he’d met Adam and had gotten to know him, Alex did start to fantasize about Adam holding him and touching him— Sometimes underneath his clothes. Then Alex knew what the ‘temptation’ was, and he told himself it was wrong to think about such things, and it was definitely wrong that when he was in the shower, he started to enjoy touching his body and pretending it was actually Adam doing it. 

He’d never actually touched any of his most sensitive areas back then, he’d felt so disconnected from those body parts that there was no desire to. Still, he’d rub his butt or stomach and imagine to himself that his hands were really Adam’s. One night, he overstayed his time limit and Papa busted into the room. He’d barely managed to throw his hands back up into his hair in time. He only gave into the touching ‘temptation’ about once a week back then. 

Now though, Alex had ways to explore his body that didn’t require playing with the parts of it that felt wrong to him. And he was ‘tempted’ all of the freaking time. In the shower, if Adam wasn’t with him, he’d tweak the nipples of his now flat chest and pretend Adam WAS there. When they were out doing things together, a glance from Adam or the feeling of his hand in his own made heat ripple through Alex’s body as he wished they were back home in bed. 

Alex wanted Adam every night. But, he didn’t say anything. He was worried Adam would grow exhausted of fooling around if he did it every time Alex wanted it right now. Alex would wait until Adam asked HIM if he wanted to have some fun, and then give an enthusiastic “Yes, please!” But, that only happened once a week, and with Alex’s sudden burst of friskiness, that wasn’t often enough. 

He wanted it more, but he was nervous about making Adam feel pressured or something. He’d never try to talk Adam into doing it if he wasn’t in the mood, and if Adam was only in the mood once a week, then that was that. 

Alex tried to savor each week’s fun time, tried to keep himself from cumming too soon, but Adam was SO ridiculously good that Alex never lasted long. 

One night, after they’d finished and Alex was trying to catch his breath, Adam said “You know, it could be fun if you took the initiative sometime, too. I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t like to, of course.” 

Alex had mulled that over all the next day. So, Adam DID want him to bring it up on his own sometimes… That night, Alex was again filled with need. He and Adam had showered together again, and watching the water gliding down Adam’s body had gotten Alex so worked up that his body was screaming for attention. “Um… Adam?” he asked. “Uh… I’d… Um… I want… Can… Can we touch each other some tonight, please?” 

Adam looked at Alex’s pink face and wide eyes, looked at the way his lip was caught between his teeth as he stammered out his request. He was absolutely, irresistibly cute. And Adam was overjoyed to see Alex be the one to initiate. 

“If— If you don’t wanna, that’s fine!” Alex added. “I know we just did it last night…” 

“Alex, I would love to do it again tonight,” Adam said. “I’m glad you asked.” 

Alex kept chewing on his lip, even more heat building inside him now that he knew what was about to happen. “I’ve been… Wanting you all the time lately.” 

Adam felt warmth bead through his own body at that. He would be honored to oblige. 

The next night, Alex again timidly turned to him. “Um… Tonight too, maybe? Only if you want to…” 

And again, Adam took care of him. 

Alex’s body was changing in other ways, he had a little bit of growth downstairs, his clitoris now resembling a small penis. When Alex was turned on enough, Adam could suck on it, an action that always got Alex moaning. He was more sensitive down there than ever before, and everything Adam did got him twitching and shaking and gasping. 

Alex really DID want Adam every night, and he began to grow more bold about it. He stuttered less when he asked Adam if he was in the mood, “Did you want to do it again tonight?” and Adam was happy he was now more confident. And he NEVER grew tired of Alex’s moaning, or of the way his eyes would roll back in his head as he finished. The vibrating prosthetics Adam had bought began to devour every battery they owned. 

Every time, after they’d both climaxed, Alex would nuzzle into Adam, thanking him over and over again for making him feel so good. One night, after they’d finished, Alex got a little nervous again. “Is it bad I want this so often now?” 

“Nah,” Adam promised. “It’s normal. I told you before, you’re pretty much going through puberty again. Lots of guys get really horny during puberty, it’s perfectly normal. Just, for you it’s happening when you’re an adult instead of a teenager.” 

“Papa said giving into ‘temptations’ is bad,” Alex said. 

“It’s not hurting anyone,” Adam said. “It’s healthy and natural to explore your body, don’t worry about what your dad said. He never knew what he was talking about. He just liked controlling people, even when it came to things that are supposed to be private.” 

“I’m not bothering you?” Alex asked. 

“No way,” Adam said. “I always have fun. I’ve been looking forward to it every day,” he added with a smile. 

Alex blushed, somewhat embarrassed that Adam now knew to just expect him to be feeling frisky each night. “I love you, Adam…” Alex said. 

“I love you too, sweet thing,” Adam replied, kissing him tiredly. 

Alex cuddled closer and the two drifted off. 

***

When they woke the next morning, they did so with PAINFULLY full bladders. That was one thing about their new nightly escapades, they sometimes fell asleep so fast afterwards that they forgot to pee first. They’d always pay for it in the morning, but this particular morning was worse than ever. 

Adam sat up, his squirming, overly full boyfriend still in his arms. He would have loved to cuddle a bit before getting up, but judging by how his bladder felt right now, if he did THAT they’d be resting in a lake in a couple minutes. He was so desperate it didn’t even register to him that Alex’s bouncing and fidgeting meant he was feeling the same way. “Alex, I’m sorry, I’m about to—“ 

“Adam, I need the bathroom SO bad,” Alex interrupted. WHY did he have to forget to go again last night!? Heck, Adam had even told him a few times that it was really, really IMPORTANT to always go pee after sexual activity. Yet, BOTH of them forgot so often! Alex didn’t even know if he could make it to the toilet now. Just the idea of getting to his feet and walking all the way there made him shudder. “Ah… Can’t hold it…” he whimpered, breaking out of Adam’s grasp and flinging his hands between his legs. 

Adam set his feet down on the floor as gently as he could, but even that minuscule bit of impact made his urine pound viciously against the walls of its crumbling prison. “Nnnnhhh!!” he crossed his legs together so tight it was painful. The bathroom was right down the hall. Not far at all. But, it felt like he was going to have to traverse an entire mountain to reach it. He was shocked he hadn’t woken up at any point during the night to go, surely his bladder must have been searing away for hours if it was hurting him THIS badly now. 

As he hobbled around the bed, he saw Alex still had not managed to get out of it. He was just rocking back and forth, sitting on his hands, eyes squeezed shut. 

“C—Come on, Alex,” Adam said. “You need to get to the toilet.” 

“I can’t move!” Alex cried. “I’ll pee!” 

Was Adam gonna have to carry him again? He could NOT do that in this condition. Exerting himself in any way, using any muscles that weren’t connected to his bladder, placing energy onto anything that wasn’t related to holding it… He’d piss. He COULD just go to the restroom, release what he was restraining, then come back and help Alex… But, the apartment was small. Alex would likely be able to hear his stream. And if he overheard Adam’s hissing spray, then it would be all over for sure. Adam spun around, searching for a container Alex could use in bed, but his desperate, piss-clouded brain couldn’t find anything through the hazy fog of his own desperation. 

“It’s a real short walk, you know that,” Adam said. “You can do it!” He tried to sound confident and encouraging, like he was cheering Alex on to win a tough race against fierce competition. In a way, he was. Alex was now trying to win a very, VERY intense race, just one that was against his bladder instead of against other people. “You can make it!” 

Alex struggled out of bed, his body crumpling and curling over on itself. Alex was still only in his boxer shorts after last night’s activities, and Adam could see the firm, round curve of his bladder protruding just beneath the waistband. Alex’s eyes remained pinched shut, to him it felt like the gravity in the room had been turned up a few notches. It felt like an enormous weight was pressing down on him, trying to mash him against the floor. He tried to say something to Adam, but all he could manage were a few whimpering groans as he took the tiniest steps of his life in the direction of the restroom. 

The restroom was too far from the bedroom, Adam decided as he limped after Alex. Instead of down the hall a few steps, it should have been directly across! Or, better yet, there should have been a toilet beside the bed, one that could easily be used without even having to get up. Whoever designed this apartment building was surely an idiot, they should have known that thirty steps were way too many to take with a full bladder! 

Alex made it to the door first, but was unable to take his hands away from his groin to actually open it. He had to wait for Adam, who arrived just a couple seconds later. Jiggling up and down and taking small puffs of air, Adam turned the doorknob and— 

It wouldn’t move. 

Adam felt a horrific twisting taking place inside his body. His stomach contorted itself into knots, and felt as if it was wrapping itself around his bladder to squeeze the life— not to mention a whole lot of pee— right out of it. 

When they’d moved into the apartment, they’d been warned that the doorknobs got jammed a lot. They hadn’t actually ever HAD a problem, so Adam had mostly forgotten about the warning. Now that it had finally happened— and to what was obviously the most important door here— it all came rushing back. 

“Adam!” Alex cried, his thighs clenching around the hands still straining between them. “Hurry! I’m gonna—“ 

“The door is stuck,” Adam mumbled, miserable. 

Alex almost felt tears pricking in the corners of his eyes. “Nah—No,” he said. “I— Make it unstuck!” he begged. Adam HAD to fix it! Adam fixed everything! Adam always took care of Alex! Adam always made sure he had what he needed and was safe, happy and comfortable! 

Adam pressed himself against the door, turned the knob as hard as he could. But, nothing. It wouldn’t budge. He saw the panic and need in Alex’s eyes, the way his pupils grew large, magnified behind pained tears. He wanted to get Alex in front of a toilet even more than he wanted to be using one himself. “I— I can’t…It won’t.”

Alex chewed on his lip, his panic was building now that it turned out Adam didn’t actually have a solution for him. He was supposed to ALWAYS have the answer! Maybe Alex should… ‘God?’ he thought, shutting his eyes once more. ‘I know this is a really, REALLY weird thing to pray to You about, and I’m super sorry that this is the second time I’ve done it, but… Um… I… I need to ‘go’ really, really bad. Could You fix the door or do something else so that I can? Please?’ 

Adam watched Alex go suddenly quiet with his head bowed. Was he… Asking God for somewhere to pee? If Adam were in a better mood, he might have been able to muster up a smile for how weirdly cute that was, but Adam was definitely NOT in a smiling mood right now. He tried the door one last time, once more finding it unmovable. “Ugh, I wish we had a backyard,” he groaned. 

Alex had begun to pace in place. He could feel pee right at the edge of his opening, could feel the warmth as a drop squirted out of him. “Th—That’s a weird thing to bring up n—“ 

“If we had a backyard, we’d have trees and bushes and a big fence for privacy,” Adam said. 

“Oh,” Alex understood now. And HE really wished they had a backyard too! This wouldn’t even BE a problem if they could just dash outside and spray against a tree… Maybe there was somewhere they could go HERE besides the restroom? There was a sink in the kitchen… But, yuck! They washed vegetables in there! Of course they’d clean the sink out after they’d finished, but still… Probably best to save THAT as the last resort. 

They had reusable water bottles, but again…Ewww. And those bottles were all full now, sitting in the fridge. They’d have to pour the water out first. They’d have to listen to it splash down the drain, struggling to hold it as the sound taunted them ferociously… Not to mention, Adam probably wouldn’t want to waste the water like that. 

There was a small potted plant in the living room… Yeah, that worked! They could just skip watering it today and do THIS instead, right? “Uh—Ummm…” Alex stuttered. He understood that it was okay to go on plants that were outside if there weren’t any bathrooms and he couldn’t hold it, but he was positive that rule didn’t apply to indoor plants. He reminded himself that it was THEIR plant, and so nobody would get mad and punish them for using it to get relief. He tried again to ask. “I— Uh— The plant?” He hoped Adam would understand what he was asking without him needing to spell it out, he was so filled with shame that he’d even thought of it. 

Adam’s eyes snapped over to Alex. The plant, yes! God, it would feel so good to stumble over to it right now, yank his cock out and give it the watering of its life! He felt like he could FLOOD that pot right now, and Alex probably could too, and… Wait. “Th—That’s a good idea, sweet thing,” he said. “B—But, uh… If you give a plant too much water at once, it gets sick. And, since what we’d be giving it wouldn’t even really be WATER exactly…” 

Alex nodded. He was disappointed, but he knew Adam loved the plant, and would be devastated if they killed it because they’d been too out of their minds with desperation to think clearly. Alex felt another spurt of his pee slip out, and now he was embarrassed to be standing there in just his underpants losing control. The growing damp spot on his boxers was clearly visible, and when he felt a trickle begin to roll down his leg, he was sure that was easy to spot too. “I… I really, really can’t hold it,” Alex said. 

Adam too had been trying to think of somewhere else they could pee. Just like Alex, he’d considered the sink and the water bottles, but had written them off as being too unhygienic. He’d thought about finding the bag of chips they’d finished yesterday and ‘recycling’ it, but was pretty sure that their piss would leak straight through it. He thought about something else, and then he felt like a total idiot; The most obvious answer had been there all along. 

“Alex, go put some clothes on,” Adam said. 

As embarrassed as Alex was to be peeing on himself while nearly naked, he didn’t understand why Adam would want him to put on more. All that would accomplish would be ensuring they had to do even more laundry. 

“Just, anything,” Adam reiterated. “We’re just gonna go ask to use a neighbor’s restroom, and I’m sure you don’t wanna do that in your underwear.” 

Alex’s face turned even more red, and he hurried back into the bedroom to get himself dressed. Putting his clothes on proved to be a very, very difficult task. The shirt was easy enough, but when the material kept lightly brushing against his distended bladder, it made him wince and squirm. His shorts were much, much harder. Lifting his legs to step into them sent bolts of pressure right into his midsection. His poor, bloated bladder already felt like it was being pressed on enough in just his boxers, the addition of another waistband constricting around it ached fiercely. 

The worst, however, was when he zipped his shorts up. The noise of the zipper being moved— the sound that he so often heard seconds before he began to pee— was like someone blowing a whistle at his bladder at the start of a race, prompting it to start going! And that was what it did, a strong stream jetted out of him and he had to ram his hands back against himself immediately to put a stop to it. Plugging up his leak wasn’t working out too well, and he felt his palms beginning to grow damp. Panicked, he scurried from the bedroom, babbling to Adam that they had to HURRY. 

Adam hadn’t needed to be told that, he knew they were both barely holding back and only had a handful of minutes left before they erupted. Cringing, he wrenched one hand away from his crotch and gripped Alex’s wrist in it, helping him outside. 

It wasn’t until they were out there, faced with the long row of doors belonging to other people, that Alex began to get nervous. Neither he nor Adam really knew many of their neighbors that well. Alex was going to feel so ashamed going up to someone that was practically a stranger and begging them for a toilet, pee-dancing the entire time! 

He knew Adam would have to be the one to say everything. Alex always locked up when he had to talk to strangers. It became very hard to find his voice. It became very hard to even remember what words were! He felt bad whenever Adam had to do the talking for him, and he’d feel worse this time since what they had to say was so embarrassing! 

Alex followed Adam to the next apartment over, where Adam released his wrist to knock on the door. Then they both waited. 

And waited. 

Jiggling out of control, crossing their legs back and forth as their toes tapped in all directions across the floor, they eventually realized no one was home there. Adam tried the next door, and was relieved when someone answered right away. He was a little less relieved when he got a look at the person. It was a bald man with a severely irritated look on his face. He didn’t look very friendly… But, first impressions could be deceiving, Adam knew. He hadn’t thought Alex would be such a loving, caring, wonderful person at first, after all. 

“What do you want?” the man grouched. “I’m trying to sleep.” 

Adam looked down at himself, and at Alex. He thought it was pretty obvious what they needed right now… They were contorting, bouncing and holding themselves. He wouldn’t be surprised if they were so full of piss that the guy could actually hear it sloshing around their bodies. “I’m really sorry to bother you,” Adam said. “Th—The door to our bathroom is stuck, and we need to—“ 

“Not my problem,” the man replied, and then he slammed the door shut so fast Adam could hardly believe it had ever been open at all. 

Alex moaned loudly when he saw the door he’d hoped would grant him relief close. He’d been taunted WAY too much this morning. First, he’d been positive he was going to make it and pee in his own bathroom, only to have that snatched away at the last second. And now this, too! His bladder was absolutely furious, and sent a long, loud spurt of piss into his boxers as if to scold him for teasing it so much. 

Adam’s head snapped over to Alex when he heard the hissing sound, eyes darting down to the crotch of his shorts. A dark patch was clearly visible there, even with Alex’s hands in the way. When he looked up into his boyfriend’s eyes, they were brimming with tears. “H—Hey, well… The Bible says you’re supposed to love thy neighbor, right? So, I bet if you tell God about that guy next time you pray, something bad will happen to him.”

Alex attempted to smile. He knew Adam was trying to make him feel a little better. “I can’t ask God to hurt somebody,” he said. 

“I didn’t say you were supposed to ask God to hurt the dude, just tell Him what happened and let Him work it out,” Adam said. “If God just decides to give him a winning lottery ticket that immediately gets stolen away by a pigeon, never to be seen again, who are we to question Him?” 

Alex managed to laugh, but it quickly turned into a moan as his swollen bladder leaked once again. “Adam, I can’t hold it…” 

Adam couldn’t hold it much longer either. But, now they’d tried both the other apartments on their floor. To keep looking, they were going to have to go down the stairs… “I… I can’t carry you on the stairs this time,” he said apologetically. “I’m real sorry, but if I do that, I’m gonna—“ 

“I understand,” Alex winced. He didn’t want to cause Adam to have an accident trying to help him. And, he knew, if Adam flooded himself, the sound of his pee hissing and splattering would make Alex explode as well. “I… I can…” Alex stumbled over to the stairs and looked down them. There weren’t that many to get to the floor below, but to Alex it looked like he was staring down an enormous tower. They twisted and turned in his vision, his need for the toilet growing so intense it was making him dizzy. “I can do it…” 

He tore a hand away from his groin and gripped it around the handrail in an attempt to steady himself. He looked back and saw Adam was following him now, so he started to move. He’d gone UP these stairs while having an emergency multiple times, and was pleasantly surprised that going DOWN them with a full bladder was a little bit easier. Pee was still spurting from him at irregular intervals, and the hand still stuck between his legs grew wet and clammy, but he tried to focus on just reaching each new step, and on the hope he’d manage to get at least MOST of his urine into an appropriate receptacle soon. 

Behind him, Adam was struggling. He’d had his first major leak of the morning after placing his foot down onto the first step, and several more had followed as he’d continued. He hadn’t gotten dizzy like Alex had, so both of his hands remained firmly against his crotch. It no longer felt like they were doing him any good, however. There was just so much piss stuck inside his body right now, much more than he could reasonably be expected to hold back. No amount of squeezing and squirming was going to increase the size of his bladder, allow it to contain a volume that was greater than itself. He was going to… He was going to… 

They’d reached the next floor. 

Adam had come too far to lose it now. And Alex was still holding on! If Adam gave in to his body’s incessant pleas now, if he allowed his bladder to burst and spray its contents down his legs, he knew that it would be like a chain reaction. Adam would lose it, he’d pee violently against the floor beneath his feet, urine splashing in all directions. It would feel so good that, even through his shame and humiliation, Adam would sigh. Alex would hear Adam’s ocean hissing away, would hear his gasp of relief… And it would be too much for him, his own bladder would break apart, unleash a torrent of liquid. Then, unlike Adam, Alex would NOT feel anything pleasurable from his release. He’d feel nothing but the humiliation, nothing but the failure. And he’d cry. 

Adam had to keep holding it. He had to keep holding it because Alex NEEDED him to. Adam would do ANYTHING to keep Alex’s face from crumpling, to keep him from sobbing. He would do ANYTHING to keep Alex feeling happy and safe and loved. Even if it meant forcing his own body to go well beyond its natural limit. 

Adam stood there, trying to get a hold of himself enough to walk forward. His feet dragged against the ground as he moved, he no longer had the strength to lift them up. ‘Hold it,’ he kept thinking to himself. ‘Hold it. Hold it.’ He made it to another door and stopped in front of it. He NEEDED for someone to be in there right now. He NEEDED for that person to be nice, or at least humane enough to take pity on him and his suffering boyfriend. He didn’t think even his newfound sense of determination would be enough to drag him to another door after this one. 

He just had to knock on the door… But, he couldn’t! He couldn’t move his hands. Every time he tried, he started to go. Not leak or spurt, but GO. He’d been wrong, his hands WERE still helping! They were the ONLY things helping! 

Alex shuffled beside him, he saw Adam’s trembling body and he knew right away why he hadn’t knocked on the door yet. Nervously, Alex did it for him. 

A woman about their age answered it, and Alex felt more nervous than usual. People his own age made him more anxious than anyone else. Little kids were fine because they didn’t normally know enough to care if Alex didn’t know something or said something weird. Older people were fine because a lot of them seemed to take on a protective, parental role around him. He became so much more aware of how out of touch he was around people who had grown up during the same time he had, and so expected him to just… Know things. 

“Hello?” the woman asked. 

Adam tried to open his mouth, tried to explain the problem and ask for the restroom, but he couldn’t speak. He could barely even breathe without letting go more streams. And then, as he tried one more time, something new happened. He experienced a sensation that was completely and utterly foreign to him, and that made him nearly scream out loud. 

His need to urinate no longer felt like it was contained just within his bladder. All of the sudden, it was like it was creeping upwards, aches and pains assailing his sides before an all-out eruption of painful, terrifying agony exploded within his lower back. He managed to bite down on the shout that threatened to spill from his throat, but he couldn’t hold back the frightened gasp as he wondered if, maybe, it actually was possible to need the toilet so badly that his bladder exploded. “Ah—!” 

Alex saw Adam struggling to talk, struggling to force the words out through the weight of his bladder. This was the most desperate Alex had ever seen his boyfriend get. Even that time they’d both wet themselves in the car, even the time Adam’s zipper had gotten stuck and he hadn’t made it… Even then, Adam had at least been able to speak. Even then, his breathing wasn’t so labored. Alex’s heart clenched in his chest. His own need now taking a backseat to Adam’s. “M—Miss,” he began, very softly. “Um… S—Sorry to bother you. We live upstairs and the door to our bathroom is stuck. We… Have to… Go. Could we please, please use your toilet? I’m so sorry about this.” 

That was… That was the most Alex had ever said to a stranger all at once before. Pride surged through him, until he felt even more full of accomplishment than he did of urine.

“Oh,” the woman said. “Yeah, sure. No problem. You poor guys look like you’re about to wet yourselves.” 

“Thank you,” Alex said, without stuttering! He felt so confident all of the sudden. That confidence, he thought, that was what had caused his leaks to stop for the time being. “Adam, come on, hurry.” 

Adam WAS dizzy now. The entire world had started to blur and fog over, he felt Alex grasp his wrist and begin to lead him, and he was grateful. He couldn’t see straight enough to walk to the toilet by himself anymore. 

The apartments all had the same layout, so Alex found the restroom right away. He took Adam inside it with him, not even thinking about whether or not the woman would think it was weird that they were going in there together. “Almost there,” Alex encouraged. “Just a little more…” He wasn’t looking at the toilet, certain he’d burst upon seeing it. He was looking at Adam. He had to take care of Adam right now, had to make sure he was okay. “You can make it,” Alex said. He removed his other hand from between his legs, and with it gone his leaking resumed, but that didn’t matter anymore. 

“Move your hands, just for a second,” Alex said. 

Trembling, Adam did so. ‘Just go,’ he wanted to tell Alex. ‘Use the toilet now, you’re hurting yourself.’ His bladder throbbed with sick violence and released another shuddering stream, as if to say ‘Not as bad as YOU’RE hurting YOURself!’ 

Alex unzipped Adam’s shorts in one quick tug, his hands immediately darting to his own fly to do the same thing for himself as Adam quickly pulled out his prosthetic and scrambled in front of the toilet. 

Adam’s bladder crunched in on itself at the sight, and a violent stream trickled into the water. It was painful to clamp it off, sending fiery bolts of pain through the tiny ring of muscle controlling his sphincters. But, he had to wait for Alex. 

Alex was both overcome by the love Adam must have had for him to continue restraining his body for his sake, and overcome by panic at what damage Adam was surely doing to himself at this rate. He hurried to join Adam at the bowl, “Go!” he told his partner, using a firmer voice than he thought he ever had in his life. 

Adam jumped at the harshness in his boyfriend’s tone, and his bladder lurched and failed. Adam… Exploded. There was no other word for it, pee was spraying from him so violently that he needed to lean very far forward to make sure it drained through his prosthetic quickly enough. “Ahhhhh….!!!” he moaned an ecstatic cry of relief, the fuzziness fading from his brain as he realized that yes, he was finally peeing. 

Alex let go immediately after him, his stream flowing freely into the bowl. “Mmm…” he hummed happily to himself, his usual bout of shivering beginning almost immediately. “That’s better…” 

Adam struggled to catch his breath, he still felt so dizzy from all the strain and tension he’d endured. That had been… He couldn’t even think of the proper words to describe what all of that was. He couldn’t really think of much of anything anymore. All he could comprehend was that peeing felt really, really, REALLY good right now. 

Alex’s eyes slid over to Adam’s face, and he felt himself blush. He’d never seen his boyfriend so flushed before, had never seen his eyes glaze over like that, and the noises Adam was making, an echo of the ones he’d made the night before. Wow… He’d been so desperate to go that peeing felt THAT amazing to him? Poor Adam, he must have been in a lot of pain… 

They finished up at about the same time, Alex with a monumental shiver that caused the last few drops of his pee to hit the rim of the bowl. He cleaned it up, of course. That woman had been so nice letting them use her toilet, he didn’t want to leave a mess for her. 

He’d… Talked to that woman all by himself, he realized. He’d said several full and complete sentences to her, sentences that had to do with a rather embarrassing topic, at that! Alex’s smile, which had been present ever since he’d begun to relieve himself, grew. “Adam,” he said excitedly. “I said a lot of to a stranger all by myself!” 

Adam, now leaning against the wall with a hand to his forehead as he waited for the room to stop spinning, opened his eyes. Alex was right, he HAD done that, hadn’t he? He’d communicated with someone he didn’t know at all, without Adam filling in any missing pieces. Adam had just been so overcome by the agonizing stretch in his belly to notice it as it had been happening. “You did!” he said finally, and he reached to hug Alex. “That was so brave of you! See, you really CAN talk to people on your own. You don’t have to be so worried…” 

Alex squeezed him back, “I… I had to that time, you were REALLY—“ 

Adam interrupted with an embarrassed laugh, “Y—Yeah… I was seriously dying there… I’m still kinda sore, actually.” 

Alex drew back, “You’re okay, right?” 

Adam nodded, “I think so. I’ve never actually felt this way before, but I think it will go away.” 

“I hope so,” Alex said, going to the sink and turning it on. 

As they cleaned their hands, Adam turned to his boyfriend. “Um… Hey, when I was still holding it in… Um… You ever needed to go so bad that your back hurt? Like, really, REALLY bad?” 

Alex thought about it. The night he’d been locked in his room and had needed to pee into a towel… His back had kind of started to ache right before he started letting it out, but it wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever felt; It hadn’t compared to the burn of Papa’s belt at all, that was for sure. “Well, once my back started to hurt a LITTLE bit, I guess… Is that what you mean?” 

Adam shook his head. He was sure that, had Alex ever felt the scorching, world-ending pain Adam had endured a few minutes earlier, he would have KNOWN what he’d meant right away. “No, I don’t think so…” 

The two left the restroom, Alex thanked the woman over and over for helping them, and Adam apologized for the trouble, and for not being able to speak earlier. 

“No problem,” she said. “And hey, if you need someone to help with your door, I could even call my Dad for you. He likes working on stuff like that.” 

“Really?” Adam asked, amazed. He’d been pretty worried about the door. He had no clue how to remove it from its hinge, or… Whatever it was he had to do with it now. “That would be great! Thank you so much!” 

When they left her apartment a few minutes later, Alex gave a long sigh of relief, and Adam saw some tension leave his body. 

“Alex…” Adam said. “You can talk to people, you did a good jo—“ 

“I was worried she was gonna say something about how we used the toilet together,” Alex explained. 

Adam laughed, “Oh… Well, I think she realized that we either had to do that, or risk one of us peeing on her floor while waiting.” 

They went back to their apartment to wait for the woman’s Dad to come help with the door. Adam was pretty wary about drinking anything until he knew he had access to his toilet again. His bladder felt… Weird. It was still throbbing and pulsing even though he’d emptied it, then there was the soreness present throughout his lower abdomen. 

“So… Um… What were you saying about your back?” Alex asked him. “Like I said, one time when I had to go bad, I had… Sort of a little achey feeling in my back. Like, the feeling I’d get if I slept wrong. Is that what you mean?” 

Adam shook his head. What he’d experienced was not the slight discomfort of a muscle being pulled wrongly. “N—No… I mean, I’ve never been shot before, but I swear that’s what it felt like. I’ve never felt anything that bad before, worst pain of my life by far.” 

Alex immediately grabbed Adam’s hand and squeezed it tight, worry bubbled in his brain. A little while after he and Adam started dating, Adam had shared a story with him; The story of the worst physical agony he’d ever experienced. 

Adam had gotten a filling placed into one of his teeth. Something had gone wrong, though. The filling came out, and took with it a massive chunk of Adam’s tooth. After that, he had a huge abscess in that tooth, the nerves within it exposed and raw. The pain this caused eclipsed everything else in Adam’s life, becoming the only thing he was aware of. 

He couldn’t eat anything without feeling like he was being subjected to the cruelest torture imaginable. Even soup was impossible, it would slosh into the abscess and cause anguish to fire through his head. If the soup was hot, it was terrible, but if it was cold it would be even worse. 

He couldn’t drink anything, either. Water too would glide its way into the hole in his tooth and bring him to tears. He couldn’t speak, his teeth pressing together was like a punishment from the most vile demons of Hell. He couldn’t even really open his mouth, as just the sensation of air flowing against the abscess could make Adam cry. 

Most of all though, he couldn’t sleep. The pain was constant, and it kept him from relaxing enough to drift off. He could only sleep if he swallowed two doses of aspirin at once, the only thing that could manage to bring him even brief respite from his suffering, and managed to get himself asleep before the effects of the pain killers wore off and returned him to his misery. 

After about a week of this, of Adam only barely managing small sips of water and tiny gulps of soup by reminding himself that he HAD to put those things into his body to keep it functioning, his parents finally found a dentist with an opening. They gave him the option of trying to put a new, now even bigger filling into the tooth, but after what had happened the last time, Adam didn’t want to risk it going wrong again. The tooth no longer felt like a part of his body, anyway. It felt like some sadistic entity hellbent on killing him slowly and painfully. He wanted it gone— And it was only a baby tooth anyway. 

The tooth was at last pulled from his mouth, and the relief as he came to and realized that all his torment was suddenly gone was immense. Adam had marveled at how small the hole within it looked when he was able to hold it in his hands. That tiny, half-centimeter gap had been responsible for all of his misery. 

When Alex heard the story, heard Adam describe in pretty vivid detail exactly how much it had hurt, he’d started to squeeze his hand. He’d felt so bad for Adam, but the story also made him feel grateful that he’d left his old home; Doctors had been forbidden there, if at any point Alex had had something wrong with a part of his body that made him feel that much physical pain, help wouldn’t have ever come. When he’d heard the story, heard Adam explain how it had prevented him from completing most of his necessary functions, Alex had doubted if anything could feel worse! 

But… Apparently, something could? 

“It was… Worse than your tooth?” Alex asked. 

Adam thought about it, “I think so, yeah,” he said. “The pain level was definitely even higher, only thing was at least it didn’t last for nearly as long.” 

Alex was frightened. Adam had even ENDED the tooth story by explaining how it had at least given him a super high pain tolerance! He’d told Alex about how he’d gotten swarmed by yellow jackets, gotten second degree burns on his hand, and broken one of his toes AFTER the thing with the tooth. He’d told Alex that, he was able to endure all those things without letting go one tear because, when compared to the tooth, they had been NOTHING.

And now, ALL of those things were being outmatched by just… Needing to pee really badly? “Adam, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. 

Adam’s knee had started to bounce… He already needed the toilet once more. “Um… I think so, but I gotta go again…” 

That wasn’t normal… Adam had just peed ten minutes ago… 

“W—Well, that guy’s gonna fix the door soon. You’ll be okay, right?” 

Adam nodded. And he WAS okay… For a while. But then, when the man showed up and started to take the door off its hinge, Adam was really fidgeting. He had to ask the guy if he could please GO while the door was still off because it was an emergency. The guy had said it was fine, and had gone to wait in the kitchen so Adam could have some privacy. 

Then, once the door had been reassembled, Adam once more felt like he was bursting at the seams. He was in such a rush to get back into the restroom and pee that he barely remembered to thank the man for helping out. Once he was gone, Adam dashed back to the toilet, and released a short stream of pee that he didn’t feel justified the throbbing wails that had been shooting through his bladder. 

He left the restroom and found Alex waiting. “Oh, you gotta go, too? I’m sorry, we could have—“ 

“Adam, I think something’s wrong,” Alex blurted out, taking his partner’s hands and squeezing them tight. “You… Held it too long, or something. You hurt yourself. You’ve had to go really bad two times in the last hour.” 

“I’m sure it’s fine,” Adam said. “Just… My muscles are probably all worn out now, that’s all.” 

“Call your Dad,” Alex said, and the uncharacteristic firmness in his tone told Adam that there was no room for argument here. 

Adam knew he ought to do this… His Dad worked in medicine. His Dad would know how to tell if he really HAD damaged something. But, he really didn’t want to have to call him up and say; “Hey Dad, I had to pee extremely bad earlier and it made my back feel like it was being trampled on by a herd of elephants. And now I can’t go longer than thirty minutes without pissing or else I feel like I’m gonna explode.” 

He sighed, deciding to try and think of a less graphic way to describe the morning’s misadventure. He called his Dad, and when he picked up, he said “Um… Hi, Dad… Alex wanted me to ask you about something…” 

“Ah, hello Adam!” His Dad’s voice was so friendly, so open and inviting. Adam was really lucky to have a Dad like him that cared so much and never judged… That didn’t make it any easier to say what he had to say, however. “What did you need?” 

“Um… Well…” Adam stammered. He knew his Dad could tell something was wrong just from his voice. Adam seldom clammed up like this, he was usually open and confident just like Dad was… “You see… The thing is… I kind of…” 

“Adam, are you okay?” Dad asked. “You and Alex aren’t hurt, are you?” 

“No, we’re… Fine. I think,” Adam promised. 

“You think,” Dad repeated. “Where are you? Are you safe?” 

“We’re at home,” Adam assured. “It’s just… Um…” Adam’s legs started to cross. He needed to go AGAIN. God, this was getting annoying. “This morning, I… Um… REALLY had to go to the bathroom when I woke up…” 

Dad went quiet. “You… Called me to tell me that?” 

“And—And the door was stuck!” Adam quickly went on. 

“If you need someone to help with that, I’m afraid I’m not the right guy…” 

“No, it’s been fixed now, we got someone. But… Like I said, I had to pee super bad, and so we were going around to our neighbors to ask to use their bathrooms… And… Um… It got… SUPER bad for me, and I had… Dad, is it normal to have a really, really awful pain in your back when you need to pee?” 

“…No, Adam, that’s not normal,” Dad said. “What part of you back?” 

“Like, lower down. I think right below my ribs,” Adam said. “It felt… I mean, I told Alex that it felt like how I think being shot must feel. It was bad.” 

“That’s where your kidneys are, Adam,” Dad told him. “If you had pain there, that means you definitely held it for too long.” 

“I couldn’t HELP it though…” 

“I know, you didn’t have anywhere to…Relieve yourself,” Dad said. “But, you remember what I said when you… That night at the movie theater when you were younger?” 

Adam flinched at the memory. It had been years ago, but it still embarrassed him. It was very, VERY early on in his transition, where pretty much the only thing he’d done was cut his hair short. He wasn’t even binding then, just wearing huge sweaters that concealed his chest. And he didn’t have an STP. 

He’d stupidly downed three huge sodas during a two hour movie that he didn’t want to miss even a second of. Then, when the credits rolled and he’d dashed to the restroom, both the stalls were taken. He’d had to just wait… But he couldn’t. Pee streamed down his legs in the crowded restroom and he shook from the humiliation. The most ridiculous part in retrospect was how his first thought wasn’t even ‘Oh God, I’m pissing my pants in public!’ but instead ‘Everyone’s gonna think I’m a girl because of where the pee is showing on my clothes!’ As if ANYONE would seriously scrutinize the damp stain on him to that extent. 

He’d rushed from the theater, and his Dad found him a moment later. He’d said, “Adam, it’s okay. You had an accident, but your body was just trying to keep you safe. You couldn’t hold that anymore without hurting yourself.” 

That was pretty much what he’d said to Alex months ago when they’d both drenched themselves in traffic… 

Now, Adam sighed into the phone, “Yes…” he said. 

“Good,” Dad said. “So… I mean, when it’s… Causing that type of pain, it’s really for the best if you… Let it happen.” 

Adam thought back to how certain he’d been that he was going to have an accident on the staircase, and how the only thing that kept him hanging on was his devotion to Alex and his need to spare him from any sadness… If he hadn’t been overcome with a need to keep Alex happy and dry, his body probably WOULD have made him pee to protect itself. 

“I know,” Dad said. “That’s one of the worst ways something like that can end, but it’s better than allowing your body to do damage to itself. Now, how are you feeling?” 

“I’m… Sore. Like, around… Where my bladder is. And I keep needing to go over and over again,” Adam explained. He uncrossed his legs and crossed them back in the opposite direction. ‘And I have to go NOW, actually…’ he thought. 

“Okay, now when you go, does it burn or sting? Is it painful at all?” 

“No,” Adam said. “That all feels normal…” 

“That’s good,” Dad said. “That means you probably don’t have an infection. But, you’ve definitely strained yourself too much. I want you to drink lots of water to make sure everything gets ‘flushed out’, and I want you to use the bathroom as soon as you need to go. No holding it.” 

“Um… Okay,” Adam said. “Er…” 

“Adam, do you have to go NOW?” 

“…Yes,” Adam admitted, blushing scarlet. 

“Alright… I’ll let you off in a second. Just, promise you’ll follow my advice.” 

Adam sighed, “I will…” And the second the call had ended, he was dashing off to pee once more. 

“What did your Dad say?” Alex asked when Adam came back. 

“I was right," Adam said. “I just wore my muscles out. And the reason my back hurt like that is ‘cause that’s where my kidneys are.” 

“Did you break them!?” Alex asked, horrified. 

“No, with how much I’m peeing they still seem to be in working order…”

Link to comment

Alex was going to the mall without Adam for the first time. It had to be that way; His and Adam’s birthday was coming up soon and Alex wanted to get him a surprise gift. He was worried, he knew the mall would be crowded, and scary to walk through all alone. 

But, then it turned out he wasn’t going to be all alone after all. Camille also wanted to get Adam a present, so they could look for gifts together. Even if Alex still wasn’t sure if Camille considered him a friend, her being there would make him feel better. 

It was very awkward at first, Alex didn’t know what to say to her when Adam wasn’t around to do all the talking. When Camille asked him questions, he’d give brief, half-sentence answers. Sometimes he’d just shake or nod his head, not saying a word. 

“You’re really quiet, you know that?” Camille asked. 

Alex, again, silently bobbed his head up and down. 

“You wanted to get Adam a guitar, right?” Camille prodded. 

More nodding. Alex had intended to get his boyfriend one of those for Christmas, but hadn’t saved up the money until now. 

“Well, we should pick that up when we’re about to leave,” Camille said. “That’s a big thing to have to carry around everywhere… You help me pick out something for him first.” 

Nod, nod, nod. 

“He still has that old record player, right? And it works?” 

Nod. 

“Okay, maybe there’s like an antique store here or something that’ll sell records… You’ll have to tell me which ones he’s already got. And if we can’t find any records, he’s still into those depressing dystopia books, isn’t he?” 

Nod. If Alex could remember how to speak, he’d tell her that the books weren’t ALWAYS depressing, because in a lot of them the good guys won, the evil government was dismantled, and society started to improve.

“Alright, we’ll definitely be able to find books here somewhere. Again, you’ve gotta tell me which ones he’s already read. I can’t keep up with them all. He took you to see a movie based off one of those on one of your first dates, didn’t he?” 

She talked so much, and so fast! “Um… Y—Yes,” Alex said. “He did. It was… Actually my idea. He loaned me the book, and it was about this really strict city that was trying to keep everyone safe, to make a world where no one ever got hurt or anything. So, there were all these rules everyone always had to follow, but sometimes the rules actually just really hurt people, because it kept them from experiencing important things or from being themselves. And, then you find out that the people who broke even one rule got exiled to the desert outside the city that was full of radiation and stuff… Only then it turns out the outside isn’t actually so dangerous, because there are ways to protect yourself from the toxic things. And… I just… I connected with it a lot.” 

Camille laughed, “Finally got you to talk!” she said. “About time… So, did Adam like it too?” 

“Yeah, but not as much as me,” Alex said. “And that date was my first time seeing a movie in an actual theater, too. So, it was really exciting— I hadn’t known it would be so loud, though!” 

“So, you would have been… Seventeen when this happened?” 

“Yeah, either seventeen or eighteen,” Alex nodded. 

Camille tried to imagine being a seventeen year old that had never set foot in a movie theater before… She couldn’t do it. “Was it fun for you?” 

“Yeah…” Alex said. And it had been. He’d watched one of his favorite books be brought to life, he’d gotten to experience something completely new, and Adam had held his hand the entire time… It had been a wonderful day. Except, at the end of the movie, he’d really needed a toilet break— Not only had he been surprised by how high the volume is in a movie theater, the size of the drinks had been a shock as well. And the massive soda he’d drained had screamed to come out the moment he’d stood from his seat. 

At that time though, he’d been so obsessed with making Adam think he was cool that he didn’t say a word. If he’d said he needed to go, he would have had to add how scared public restrooms made him feel and that he didn’t want to do it alone. He was convinced Adam would think he was incredibly uncool if he did that. It didn’t even cross his mind that Adam would surely UNDERSTAND his feelings. 

Alex had also still been living with his Mom and Grandmother at the time, too, resulting in him enduring a long ride back home. But, he lucked out; He made it home dry and none of his siblings were in the restroom when he’d rushed for it. He remembered how grateful he was for his STP then, as he’d barely even managed to unzip quickly enough— If he’d needed to pull his clothing down all the way and sit, he would have had an accident for sure! 

He was glad that he didn’t have nearly as much trouble asking Adam to come along when he had to pee these days. So long as Adam was around, he knew he could safely relieve himself. 

“Alex?” Camille asked. “What are you thinking about?” 

“N—Nothing,” Alex said, blushing. “Sorry…” 

“Well, do you want to get something to eat before we look around?” 

“Um, yeah. Sure,” Alex said. “We can do that.” 

In the food court, Camille didn’t order for Alex like Adam always did, and he was too embarrassed to ask for her to. He stumbled over his words as he told the man at the counter what he wanted to eat. He was sure the guy probably thought he had something wrong with him, his voice all wobbly and tiny, like he’d never spoken before. 

Alex wished he could talk to new people better. He wished that speaking to someone he’d never seen before wasn’t so scary, didn’t make tight bands constrict around his throat… He tried to avoid further speaking struggles when he and Camille found a table by making sure his mouth was always full. Once he was out of food, he just kept sipping from his soda cup even though he didn’t feel that thirsty. He just needed something else to do with his mouth. 

Camille kept telling him to calm down, told him he didn’t have to be so nervous, told him he was shaking too much… But, Alex couldn’t stop feeling anxious; Adam wasn’t here to put him at ease. Adam wasn’t here to do all the talking for him if he clammed up. Adam wasn’t here to— 

Alex’s straw was no longer sucking up any liquid, and as he realized that he’d just guzzled a very large soda, it hit him that Adam also wasn’t here to take him to the restroom. 

Did he have to go? Yes, a little bit… He hadn’t peed since before leaving the apartment, and there was definitely some pressure now. It wasn’t bad, but it was noticeable. And with the addition of that massive soda, it was guaranteed to get a lot worse before long. He shuffled in his seat slightly, peering around. There were bathrooms next to the food court, tucked away in a corner. But, they looked pretty busy, people entering and exiting… People Alex didn’t know. People that could decide to act meanly to him if they thought he didn’t belong. Especially if he didn’t have someone by his side. 

Adding to Alex’s fear was the knowledge that THIS was where Adam had been when those guys had beaten him up. This was the exact place where that awful thing had happened and so, in Alex’s eyes, the bathrooms here were far less safe than anywhere else. 

 

‘Calm down,’ he scolded himself. ‘You barely even need to go. You can make it home without peeing just fine.’ 

“Alex…?” Camille asked. “Is something bothering you?” 

“Um…” 

“I know, you don’t feel right when you’re separated from Adam, huh?” 

Alex shook his head. He didn’t. He really, really didn’t… And he swore that he already needed to pee worse than he had a minute ago. ‘Don’t think about it. Just forget about peeing. Peeing doesn’t exist. Peeing is a myth.’ But, no matter how hard he tried, the anxious tingles inside his bladder refused to fade away. ‘This is ridiculous! You don’t need to go that much!’ It was like his stress was making his urge build, though. The more he thought about how he DIDN’T want to need to pee right now, the more certain his bladder got that it REALLY had to be emptied! 

“Just… It’s okay,” Camille said. “It’s not like you’re alone here. I’m with you.” 

Alex nodded. She was right, he wasn’t completely by himself. He knew he’d be even more anxious if that were the case. ‘She can’t take you to the men’s room though,’ his traitorous brain reminded him. And that was true, too. Even if he told her that he needed to go, and his bladder was continuing to insist that he DID, there was nothing she could do for him. 

The best thing Alex could do for himself right now was to simply ignore the growing pressure beneath his waistband and tell his body that he didn’t really need to pee. It was too inconvenient to have a full bladder at the moment, so that meant he just… Didn’t have one. Simple as that. 

The reasoning was ridiculous, and his bladder punished him for it when he stood from his chair, a long pulsing throb shooting straight through his abdomen. He gave a tiny bounce on his toes, repeating a mantra in his head ‘I don’t need to go, I don’t need to go, I don’t need to go…’ A hearty thrum shook his bladder every few seconds, as if it was protesting ‘Yes you DO, yes you DO, yes you DO!’ 

As he and Camille began to explore the mall again, Alex struggled to put all thoughts of urinating from his mind, fully aware that his constant focus on the subject was only making his situation worse. The problem was that the harder he tried NOT to think about something, the more it became the ONLY thing on his brain. 

When they passed by a shop with a series of mannequins wearing different outfits, Alex stared at the zippers on the pants and instantly thought about unzipping his own in front of a urinal. When they walked by a sporting goods store, Alex thought about swimming, and that day he’d relieved his bladder into the pool. When they passed the enormous fountain in the mall’s center, Alex stopped cold, his legs snapping together as his thighs trembled. Oh, so much water… Hissing, spurting… Spraying out in long, powerful jets… Alex’s knees rubbed together. 

Camille noticed Alex slowing and turned around. He was so shaky, like he barely knew how to put one foot in front of the other… She knew she had said some stupid things to him the first time they’d met, but she hadn’t meant to make him so uncomfortable around her. “Alex?” she asked. “You okay?” 

Alex looked up at her, and his one-track mind made him think back to the big soda SHE’D had. Maybe she had to pee now, too? At that thought, a somewhat more optimistic one followed; Camille would probably UNDERSTAND, wouldn’t she? She’d get why Alex was scared to use the toilet here alone. If he told her, she may even say something like “Oh, that makes sense. Come on, I think there’s an empty bottle in my car. You can go in that instead.” And then Alex wouldn’t have to worry about this anymore. 

He just had to tell her, that was all… 

He just… Had to tell her… 

“…Actually,” Alex managed, his voice creaking. His face was on fire now. ‘Come on, just say you need to pee!’ he mentally screamed at himself. It shouldn’t have been so hard, it should have been perfectly easy to grant a voice to the uncomfortable pinching rippling through his lower half. “I…” his voice got softer. “I…I need to…” 

“Hm?” 

“I’m fine,” Alex blurted out instead. “Nothing is wrong. I just miss Adam. That’s all.” ‘Tell her you miss him even more because you have to go!’ his bladder begged. But, what came out of his mouth was “L—Let’s go to the bookstore now. I think that was th— the best idea you had.” 

Camille gave him an odd look, “Do you need to sit down for a minute? There’s benches by the fountai—“ 

“No!” Alex interrupted, being forced to sit beside all that water was the LAST thing he needed! His bladder was cramping in on itself just at the thought! “S—Sorry, I just… Um…” he scrambled to come up with an explanation through the hazy fog of his still building need. “I w—wanna make sure that… Um… That they don’t run out of books Adam would like. We should hurry.” 

“…Okay,” Camille said. “If you’re sure you’re feeling alright.” 

Alex nodded. He was fine. He was perfectly fine. The heavy sensation in his middle had gotten so much worse, and now he could feel it pulling down against his opening, his thighs squeezing in an attempt to lessen it, even if only a little. ‘I don’t need to go,’ he continued telling himself. ‘I don’t need to go. I really, really don’t. I don’t have to pee at all. I don’t have to. Don’t have to. Don’t have to.’ 

He trudged after Camille, trying to ignore the way each step against the shiny linoleum floor sent an earthquake through his bladder, making the liquid inside toss and turn with reckless abandon. ‘I don’t have to go. I can hold it— I— I mean, there’s nothing to hold. Because I don’t have to go. Don’t need to pee.’ Each mental denial seemed to dump another cupful of pee into his bladder, the achey tingle that had built up at his urethral opening solidifying into a much, much harsher throbbing pain. 

He was so lost in his futile internal protestations against the simmering needs of his body that he didn’t realize how much trouble he was really in until Camille had already started climbing the staircase in front of them. 

The bookstore was on the next floor. 

Alex glanced back and forth, searching for an elevator he could take instead. He didn’t see one, they must have been in another area, and Alex couldn’t come up with an excuse to go looking. He was going to have to try and get up the stairs. Swinging his hands at his sides anxiously, Alex forced himself to place one foot down on the first step— 

‘Ahh! I need to go! I need to go! I really, really, really need to go!’ Alex mentally shrieked as a fire lit itself in the sole of his foot, spread up his leg and torched his bladder. ‘I need to go! I have to!’ his brain kept screaming as he fought to continue climbing the steps, each one causing him to breathe heavier and heavier as pee lurched against his opening and begged for release— Ohhh, climbing stairs was the absolute hardest thing for Alex to do when he was desperate— Desperate, desperate, he was getting so, so desperate… 

Camille was waiting for him at the top of the staircase and she was startled by how sweaty and winded he looked. Alex had… He’d done a lot of farm work and stuff at the old place, a single flight of stairs shouldn’t have seemed like such a work out, right? Was he sick, or something? They’d both eaten the same thing at the food court and SHE didn’t feel sick at all… 

Must have STILL been nerves, then. 

That was the most likely explanation. Alex was definitely still trembling. A lot. She’d never seen someone so nervous that their shaking looked more like jiggling, but that was certainly the case with Alex! “Alex…” she said gently, hoping to settle him enough that he stopped all the bouncing. “Calm down. I DO want to be your friend, I promise. Stop worrying about that.” 

Alex COULDN’T stop all the bouncing, though. No matter WHAT Camille said to him. ‘She… She wants to be your friend. And she’ll probably understand!’ he begged himself. ‘Just tell her that you need to go, maybe she can help!’ 

“I—“ Alex struggled. ‘Just. Say. It. Say it now. Say that you need to pee!’ “I need—“ ‘Come on, come on… Bathroom. Now. PLEASE!’ “I want— I… I want us to be friends!” he finished instead. 

“I want that too,” Camille said. “Now, come on. Help me find a book for Adam.” 

‘And I also need to pee, RIGHT now!’ Alex pleaded with his mouth and vocal cords to form those words, but just as his kidneys were refusing to stop pumping his bladder full of urine, his mouth refused to open and give life to the things he yearned to say. 

Alex felt slightly better now that he wasn’t being forced to climb stairs, but his bladder was still utterly bloated and he was beginning to seriously doubt his ability to make it home with dry clothes. First, they had to find a book, pay for it, then go get the guitar, pay for that… Then Camille would have to drive him home, and there would be MORE stairs after that to get to his apartment, he’d have to unlock the door, get TO the bathroom, unzip… His bladder shuddered, that would all take SO long, and it wanted to be allowed to relax NOW.  

Alex was more nervous than ever when they got to the bookstore; the floor inside of it was carpeted, and he couldn’t stop imagining himself creating a huge puddle that soaked down deep through all the material. He couldn’t stop imagining that the carpet would be ruined after that, and they’d have to pull it all out and replace it, then Alex would be made to pay for it with all the money he’d saved for Adam’s guitar. 

‘That’s not going to happen,’ Alex promised himself. He wasn’t going to pee his pants. He hadn’t even sprung a leak yet. He was holding it. He was containing all of it perfectly fine. Just so long as he didn’t stay still for too long, his urine would remain where it belonged. He’d be fine. 

But, he definitely couldn’t stay still anymore. His hips twisted constantly, his hands ran through his hair in an effort to keep them away from his crotch. He’d lean to one side for a moment and feel a little better, then the awful pressure would ramp up again and he’d shift his weight in the other direction to alleviate it, back and forth, over and over… He had to go so much! 

He trailed after Camille through the aisles of bookshelves, taking teeny puffs of air as even the mere act of breathing was causing his poor bladder to feel even more bloated. His knees rubbed together nonstop, making his gait very slow and clumsy as he forced himself to keep moving in a direction that he knew wasn’t going to lead him to the toilet he needed so badly. 

Camille selected a book from one of the shelves, turned around and showed it to Alex. “How’s this one?” she asked. 

Alex stared at the cover, but its title looked blurry as desperation frayed his vision. He found himself needing to stare at it and take in each letter individually like he would have done when he was little and first learning how to read. He struggled to recall if Adam had read that book before or not, he struggled to recall anything other than the pee he’d taken before leaving his apartment that morning! 

“Uh— Um…” Alex bobbed up and down so fast he was sure he must have been a blur to Camille. “Wh—What’s it about?” He’d be able to remember Adam telling him the plot if he’d read it before. 

“It’s…” Camille trailed off. “Alex, please try not to be so anxious… I—“ she paused. “Um, hugs make you feel better, right?” 

They did usually, but Alex wasn’t sure if a hug would feel that good right now. Still, Camille wanted to be his friend! What if she thought he didn’t like her if he said no? He nodded. 

Camille held him tightly. Way, way too tightly, squeezing him in around his middle. For a terrifyingly long moment, Alex was convinced that he was going to pee all over himself, Camille, and the nice carpeted floor… 

“O— Okay, I feel a little better now!” Alex lied, and Camille let go. 

She read him the synopsis on the back of the book, it had something to do with a massive water shortage caused by global warming, leading to everyone struggling to survive— Alex wanted to jump into the book and tell them not to worry, because HE was full of enough water right now to make up for even the longest drought… 

Adam definitely hadn’t read it before though, Alex knew he would have talked about it if he had. “Y—Yeah, that one’s good. He’ll like it,” he said. 

They went to the counter to pay for the book, and Alex’s legs stayed crossed the entire time. Sweat rolled down his back in cold sheets. ‘You got the first thing over with,’ he told himself. ‘One step closer to peeing.’ But that first step wasn’t enough to satisfy his bladder, it wanted him to already be at the finish line, his zipper down and standing at the toilet letting everything flow out of him. The pinchy sensation at his opening now felt warmer and more electrified, pulsing violently every other second like a blaring alarm. 

An ache bloomed white hot in his pelvic region, a rippling agony tearing through him that was immediately followed by a short burst of wetness and heat in between his trembling thighs. And then another. And another. Tiny, dribbly little leaks that brought him absolutely no relief, but which he also could not stop. Every few seconds, another little bit of pee would spurt out of him, the area between his legs growing warmer and damper as more and more fluid was forcibly ejected from his body. He gave up and finally held himself, cringing at the slick feeling beneath his palms that told him his leakage was probably becoming visible. 

Gripping himself brought him a bit of relief, but all too quickly he had to let go. Camille had finished paying and turned back around to face him. He forced his hands away from his groin and was glad when his dripping didn’t instantly resume. It was back under control. For now. 

But, how much longer could he possibly go on like this? Making it all the way home without urinating no longer seemed remotely possible for him. One way or another, his bladder was going to be empty by the time he got home. He couldn’t hold it! Even after all that had accidentally come out in his pants, he felt like he was stretched to his limit! 

He HAD to tell Camille, he HAD to ask her for help. She’d understand! She NEEDED to understa— 

“Can you hold this for a minute?” 

No! Alex didn’t have any more minutes left! He couldn’t hold it for a minute! He couldn’t! He— 

Camille held out the bag containing Adam’s book, “Just for a minute?” she said. “I have to use the restroom. I’ll be right back.” 

Alex took the bag and silently watched as Camille walked down a narrow corridor that must have led to the restrooms. But… Wasn’t she scared to go all by herself like that? What if someone thought she was a man and did something mean to her? Looking at Camille, Alex didn’t know HOW anyone could mistake her for a man… Then again, Alex didn’t know how anyone could think Adam was a girl, yet that had gotten Adam hurt in this very place! 

Maybe Camille was just very brave… She had to be. She watched all those scary movies. But, even if those movies terrified Alex, he understood they were only pretend; Cruel people were very real. 

But, if Camille apparently wasn’t scared like Alex was, then did that mean she wouldn’t understand his fear after all? Did that mean she would think he was being silly? Did that mean he shouldn’t ask her for help? 

It probably did… Better to just hold it. 

Except, Alex really couldn’t hold it! As his brain became inundated with the thought of Camille getting the relief he so desperately craved, his bladder began to issue more little dribbles into his pants. Drop by drop, Alex was having an accident right where he stood! 

He… He didn’t wanna stand here anymore! He had to move around. He had to move around a lot! He paced back and forth across a tiny section of the floor, he bounced and bounced and bounced. Finally, in a daze, he dragged himself down the same corridor Camille had gone down, and fought back tears at the sight of the men’s room door. He gritted his teeth and tried to will his hands to open it, to grant him access to the thing he needed so, so much… 

But, his hands wouldn’t cooperate, one just gripped onto the shopping bag until his knuckles went white, and the other tucked itself right between his tangled legs. ‘I can’t— I can’t wait, I need to— I’m scared—‘ Fear and desperation fought for dominance inside Alex’s head, until he wasn’t sure which was the most responsible for his shaking. 

WHY did restrooms even have to be segregated by gender anyway? If they weren’t, Alex wouldn’t have a reason to be scared, he could just run in and pee as much as he wanted! But no, he had to stand out here instead, struggling to hold back his flood, because he couldn’t stop thinking that someone would hurt him if he tried to go. ‘Be brave,’ Alex begged himself. ‘Be brave, like Camille is! Can’t hold it, can’t hold it, can’t—‘ 

Alex was so caught up in his thoughts that he barely noticed when a man approached him. “Are you in line?” the man asked with a frown, and Alex noticed the same shimmy in the guy’s hips that was present in his own. 

“N—No,” Alex managed to choke out through the pain. 

The guy stared at him for a moment, then moved through the door Alex needed to enter. ‘He thought you were in line for the men’s,’ Alex scolded himself. ‘That means he didn’t think that you’re a girl. Because you AREN’T. You’ll be okay, even without Adam here. You can do it, you can! Just—‘ 

The door to the women’s room opened and Camille exited. “Ahh, that’s better. Sorry,” she said to Alex. “Too much soda, I—“ She stopped herself. “Oh, I can hold the bag while you go.” 

Alex knew his pee dance was blatantly obvious by that point— He was full-on holding himself now, after all. He still flushed with embarrassment when Camille didn’t even feel the need to ask him whether he had to go or not. 

Camille held out her hand, and Alex eagerly gave her the bag… But instead of running in to pee, he just used his newly freed hand to get a better grip on his crotch as he kept writhing around. “I—“ 

“Alex, don’t worry,” Camille said. “I don’t mind waiting for you. You look like you’re gonna pop.” 

“But…” Alex worried at his lip. ‘SHE. WOULD. UNDERSTAND,’ the rational part of his brain screamed, but when he tried to open his mouth to speak, his teeth just gritted together and refused to allow any words out. So, shakily, he made himself enter the restroom. The world tilted and tumbled as he blearily took it in, the only other person here was the guy from earlier, washing his hands at the sink— And, oh how that noise taunted Alex’s poor bladder! 

Only one other person… And he wasn’t looking at Alex… It was safe. He could go. He HAD to go. He was going to DIE if he didn’t go! He stumbled to the row of urinals and unzipped himself at the closest one. It was safe. He’d made it. It was time to pee… 

There weren’t any dividers between the urinals… And he couldn’t have Adam use the one right next to his like usual… What if someone looked at his… Thing and could tell somehow that it was a prosthetic? Would they be mad? Should he use a stall instead? 

Before he could make that decision, the sight of the urinal in front of him, the feeling of his zip being down, and the sound of the sink’s faucet flowing all became far too much for his bladder to take and he began to void violently into his boxers. Panicked, he pulled his cock out and directed his stream into the urinal where it belonged. 

Then, finally, he started to actually feel a little better. “Ahhhh…” he breathed out with a smile as a thick, clear jet of pee sprayed out of him. His shoulders began to sag as he at last let go… Just as his stream increased in speed, the rock hard pressure within him began to dissipate, and shivers started to tingle up his spine, Alex heard the door opening. 

And Alex clenched up again in an instant. His stream slowed, becoming weak and dismal, and he made a small whimpering noise as the stinging at his pee-hole returned. Four guys had walked in, and now they were at the urinals too, peeing away, and Alex… Alex’s body just… Shut down. He couldn’t pee anymore, even though his bladder was still, undoubtedly, extremely full. 

Alex’s body trembled, the sudden halting of his relief created a horrific pressure below his navel that brought tears to his eyes. “Mmmf,” involuntary noises of displeasure bubbled in the back of Alex’s throat. Why was this happening!? A couple of times when he’d needed to pee, he’d had a little trouble getting it STARTED, but always once he’d begun to go, he’d FINISH. He’d never had it just… Plug up in the middle like this, and it hurt so much! Now, he knew what relief FELT like, and he wanted it back NOW. 

Alex was so scared, there were no dividers, someone could look at his junk at any moment and decide it didn’t look ‘right’. His body was behaving very, very strangely, and he was worried he’d held it so long that his bladder was now… Broken somehow; That it would never allow him to empty it out all the way again, and he’d have to feel this desperate forever, only broken up by brief seconds where he’d be able to let a tiny bit flow. He strained hard against his muscles, begging his release to resume, but it wouldn’t. The shivers moving through his back were not from a place of pleasure, but from a place of terror and pain. 

Then, he was hit by two more awful thoughts; The other guys at the urinals might NOTICE that he wasn’t peeing and think he had something wrong with him, and Camille was WAITING for him to finish and come back out. 

Panicked, burning hot with shame, Alex fumbled himself back into his shorts and zipped up. The button on his shorts dug harshly into his bladder and caused him to cringe as he stumbled to the sinks. He knew he had to wash his hands, but after only a second he had to shut the faucet back off. He couldn’t handle the noise it made, and he definitely couldn’t handle the way it felt against his palms. 

Alex dragged himself back out of the restroom, his bladder somehow feeling even MORE agonized than it had before he’d gone in. That wasn’t fair! He’d let SOME out, it should have felt at least a little better! 

But, it didn’t. It didn’t feel better at all. It felt like he was being tortured. 

Even so, when Camille asked him if he felt better, he made himself nod, made himself say “Let’s go get the guitar now,” and tried to make it sound as though he wasn’t in any kind of rush to get out of here. He wasn’t leaking anymore, at least. His pee was staying inside him again. Now that he’d locked up, he’d REALLY locked up. 

Luckily for Alex, Camille suggested they take the elevator back down to the first floor— The stairs, Alex knew, would have been the absolute death of him at this point. When the elevator doors dinged open and Alex stepped inside, he immediately remembered a story Adam had told him about his dad. 

Adam’s Dad had been at some big conference thing, badly needing to pee. The bathrooms were on a different floor, so he’d gone into the elevator to get to them. But, the elevator had gotten stuck. And it remained stuck for so long that he’d had an accident. It was a funny family story now, but at the time it had been just awful; A grown adult, and a doctor at that, showing up to a work event and then needing to find new pants to change into. 

If THIS elevator got stuck, Alex would have an accident, too! 

Alex did the only thing he could think of. He shut his eyes as the doors drew to a close, and he prayed. ‘God, um… I know there’s probably more important stuff happening right now, but please don’t let the elevator get stuck? Also, can I maybe pee soon, too? Please? I really have to go. And… I shouldn’t tell you how to do your job, but if you make a new species, then you shouldn’t give it a bladder. It’s too much trouble.’ 

The prayer worked and the elevator didn’t get stuck. 

Camille had been watching Alex through the whole ride, though. She’d been watching his bobbing and contorting, his cringing and whimpering…And now she watched as he scrambled out of the elevator like it was on fire. He looked like he really needed the bathroom, but he’d only JUST gone, hadn’t he? It couldn’t have been more than five minutes since he’d last peed, and Camille didn’t think he’d fill up again THAT quickly even if he was sick! 

So, had he not actually peed? What was he doing in there, then? He was gone an awful long time. And there wasn’t a line, Alex had gone in before those other guys ha— 

Oh. 

Camille thought over all of Alex’s behavior throughout the day. His nonstop twitching, the way he’d seemed so upset when she asked if he wanted to sit by the fountain, how winded he’d gotten after climbing the stairs… She’d thought the whole time that he was just anxious, only seeing that he needed to pee when he’d been reduced to holding himself.

Alex was clearly desperate then, but he’d BEEN desperate for practically the entire day, and he obviously STILL was. He just wasn’t saying or doing anything that could put a stop to it. 

Because he was scared to. 

All day, he’d been scared to enter a public bathroom, then when Camille told him to go, something must have happened that freaked him out too much. She felt awful, she should have KNOWN. Adam had told her a few times about how he and Alex always peed together, how safe and secure it made them feel. Clearly, Alex wasn’t comfortable going any other way. 

And, she understood it. She understood why he was scared. She’d been scared to do that alone her first few times as well. For years after coming out, she would ONLY enter public women’s rooms if her Mom went with her. When Mom wasn’t around, she had held it until it hurt before finally giving in. But, the thing was, after she’d done it enough times without issue, it wasn’t scary anymore. “Um… Alex?” she asked, unsure how to broach the subject. 

“Mmmf, what?” Alex moaned. He’d been focusing solely on putting one foot in front of the other as he walked in the direction of the correct store. 

“Did… Uh… Do you still have to pee?” 

Miserable, Alex nodded his head. “I couldn’t finish,” he admitted. “All these people came in, and I just… It stopped.” 

Camille nodded, sympathy lighting in her belly. That must have hurt! “Alex, it’s… I get it. But, if you use the bathroom by yourself a few times, it gets easier. It’s—“ 

“I can’t…” Alex mumbled, eyes welling up with tears when another spurt of pee finally managed to break through his barriers and soak into his pants. “I want Adam…” 

“How about you text him?” Camille offered. “Just, talk to him some? Would that help?” 

Alex didn’t know if it would, but tried anyway. Alex wasn’t very good at texting. The keyboard on a phone was just too small, and he could barely remember where all the letters were located on it. It was even harder when he was just so, so desperate… 

‘Adam 

I am at mall stll. hav to p rly rly bad. Scared to without u.’ 

At home, Adam heard his phone chime and picked it up. He was used to Alex’s somewhat illegible style of texting so had no trouble parsing the message. ‘Oh, poor thing…’ He sent back; 

‘Can you make it home, do you think?’ 

The response came unusually quickly for Alex;

‘No. bout to xplode.’ 

‘Can you TRY to go there, then?’ 

Again, a very abrupt reply; 

‘I did. Couldnt. ppl came in and I couldnt go.’ 

Adam set the phone down and tried to think. He wished he could teleport to Alex’s side to put the guy at ease. He and Alex didn’t handle separation well, but Alex was by far the worst at it. If only there was a way Alex could at least FEEL like Adam was with him… 

Maybe there was… Adam grabbed his phone again and called Alex. As soon as Alex answered, Adam knew how bad a state his boyfriend was in. 

“Adam… Adam” Alex panted out, breathless and needy and urgent, it sounded like Adam’s name was synonymous with ‘I’m about to wet myself!’ “Adam—“ 

“I know, sweet thing,” Adam said. 

On the other end of the line, Alex immediately found himself feeling more at ease after hearing the familiar pet-name. But, it did nothing to calm his bladder. “I really, really—“ 

“Shhh, I know,” Adam interrupted. “I… I understand, Alex. I don’t feel very safe doing that without YOU there, either.” 

Alex was surprised. Adam never SEEMED frightened by much of anything! “Really?” 

“Really,” Adam agreed. “Sometimes, if I haven’t got a choice, I’ll pretend to myself that you ARE there with me, and I’ll feel safer again.” 

“Oh…” Alex said, touched. He didn’t think he’d be able to actually protect Adam if something bad did happen… 

“Now. I… want you to go to the restroom there, okay? Use a stall, you’ll probably feel safer that way. You can’t hold it until you get home.” 

“But—“ 

“And… And put your phone on speaker, put it in your pocket, don’t hang up on me. It will be like I’m there. Okay? Would that help you at all?” 

“Y—Yes, I think so,” Alex said. 

“Okay,” Adam said. “Let’s—“ 

“But… You’ll hear me… Going…” 

“I’ve heard you pee before lots of times, silly thing,” Adam said. “That’s not a big deal. Besides, if you need to go as bad as I think you do, I’ll get to hear all of your cute sighs, too.” 

“M—My…” Alex blushed. “Al—Alright.” He was already feeling a lot better. Much more secure… But that newfound sense of safety was making his bladder get too far ahead of him, causing it to lurch and spasm chaotically as he felt all the more eager to start peeing. He pushed the speaker button on his phone and tucked it into his pocket, then asked Camille to find him a bathroom as fast as possible. “There’s one really close, right?” 

On the other end of the line, Adam could hear the clear urgency in Alex’s voice. He wished he was there, or that he could somehow teleport an empty bottle into Alex’s hand so that he didn’t have to hold it even one more second. 

He was relieved when he heard Camille confirm that there WAS a toilet just a few minutes away, but he knew he couldn’t have been as relieved by that news as Alex was. 

Adam listened as the phone tumbled around in Alex’s pocket, periodically overhearing his poor boyfriend let out tiny, mewling whimpers while he tried to walk. “H—How much further…?” Alex asked after about a minute. 

“We’re close,” Camille said. “Hang in there.” 

Alex’s whining winces picked up the more he walked. Adam couldn’t even imagine how full his bladder must have been; Alex had left the apartment hours ago, he must have been ready to blow… 

Adam heard Alex’s breathing speed up and become heavier and heavier, and the sounds of his footsteps growing faster. Then, he listened as a door swung open and shut. ‘Okay, he’s making it…’ Adam thought. 

Confirming that Alex had indeed entered a restroom, Adam was now able to overhear a sink’s faucet running. Even through the crackly speaker of the phone, it was enough to get Adam’s knee bouncing. He couldn’t imagine what it was doing to Alex… 

“Ooohhh…” Alex groaned softly, followed by the sound of clothing being ruffled as Adam imagined he was likely gripping himself tightly. Then, there was the clatter of a lock being swung into place, even more rustling, a zipper being pulled, and at last the unmistakable hiss of liquid striking liquid. 

Adam blushed at that, now able to hear nothing but the thunderous roar of Alex’s stream. This was then punctuated by a quiet and very contented sigh. Adam pictured Alex standing there with a small smile on his lips, his eyes shut in total bliss as he finally let it out. It was such a cute image that he blushed even harder. 

Alex, meanwhile, felt like pounds and pounds worth of tension were being lifted off his shoulders with each passing second. Even if Adam wasn’t RIGHT there, he was still kind of there. Alex was safe in here, free to do as he needed, and wow had he needed to do this… The sensation of his bladder deflating and shrinking as his burden sprayed out of him was wonderful, and this time when he really started to enjoy his relief as his spine started tingling with shivers, nothing happened that made him lock back up again. “Ahhh…” 

Upon hearing that second sigh, the redness in Adam’s cheeks darkened. It was just such an adorable noise. He loved hearing Alex sounding so relaxed and comfortable, especially after how panicked he’d sounded a few minutes ago. Adam was a little concerned by how long Alex was peeing, though. He’d seen Alex let out a lot before, but he’d definitely been at his limit this time. Adam wouldn’t be surprised if he’d been a little bit swollen in his middle. 

Another concern was that, the longer Adam listened to Alex pee, the more his own bladder pinched. He hadn’t needed to go very much when Alex had initially texted him, but now he was crossing his legs. ‘Alex and I pee together all the time, anyways…’ Adam thought, standing from the couch and entering the restroom. He freed himself a moment later and let his own stream go. 

In the mall, Alex’s release finally tapered off, and he was rewarded with a very nice shiver that shook his entire upper body. He zipped up and left the stall. This time he was able to actually wash his hands without causing himself any pain. On wobbly, tingling legs, he left the restroom. 

Camille could tell right away that he’d actually peed this time, that the poor guy’s bladder was at long last completely emptied. 

Alex took his phone from his pocket and switched off the speaker mode. “Thank you, Adam,” he blurted out. “Thank you! I feel way better now, I—“ he cut himself off, noticing the trickling sound from the other end of the line. “Heh, Adam are you going now too?” 

“Y—Yeah,” Adam responded, embarrassed. “Hearing… um… ‘running water’ makes me need to pee…” 

Alex blushed. He’d peed so hard and for so long that his partner’s bladder had filled up in sympathy… He listened as Adam finished up with a sigh. “Th—Thank you,” Alex repeated. “I… I felt safe knowing you were… At least sort of there with me. Sorry, I know that was probably really weird…” 

“Aw, don’t worry,” Adam assured. “I want my sweet thing to be comfy.” 

“I… Definitely wasn’t comfortable before,” Alex said. 

“I know… If you ever have to go in public again and I’m not with you, you can call me. We can do this every time if it makes things easier for you.” 

“Y—You promise? You don’t mind?” 

“Not at all, Alex. I understand this is stressful for you. I love you.” 

“I love you too, Adam.” 

The call ended, and Alex gave another relaxed sigh. Adam was always going to be there for him, even when they were apart. 

“Everything okay now?” Camille asked. “Don’t need to worry about any puddles?” 

Alex covered his face, “N—No. I’m better now…” he looked down at his shorts… They were grey; Light grey… There were dark patches in a few very obvious spots. It was clear that he’d either spilled something on himself or hadn’t totally made it to the toilet in time. He could also smell a bit of an acrid odor; Anyone who got close enough to him to sniff it would know immediately that the spots on his clothes WERE urine. His eyes welled up again, “I— I—“ 

Camille saw where he was looking. She took off her hoodie and tied it around his waist. “There you go, that covers it all.” 

Alex shrank back. “But… What if it rubs onto your—“ 

“I’ll wash it,” Camille said. “It’s okay. Remember, I want to be your friend. This is what friends do for each other.” 

Alex’s chest grew warm. She really DID like him… “Okay,” he said. “Let’s… Let’s go get the guitar now.”

Edited by secretomoact (see edit history)
Link to comment
  • 2 months later...

Alex was at the grocery store with Adam, waiting to check out. While Adam waited calmly, Alex did so with his legs crossed and his knees knocking. There had been delicious juice samples next to one of the aisles today and Alex had enjoyed them way too much. 

Alex had waited too long, and the line wasn’t moving at all. He was rocking back and forth, side to side, craning his neck to see in front of himself at how many people he had to wait through. 

Only one of them really NEEDED to stay in line, though! Adam could hold the spot for both of them. 

Stupid.

And Alex had already gone to a public restroom by himself before, so it would be okay again now. 

Stupid. 

And… He really, really needed to go. He’d leaked once already standing here. “Adam, I don’t think I can make it through the line,” he said. 

Stupid. 

“I’ll take you,” Adam said. “We can get back in line after.” 

“No,” Alex shook his head. “It’s okay. I can go by myself this time.” 

Stupid. 

Adam squeezed his hand and smiled at him encouragingly, “Okay. If you get lost or anything, just text me.” He was happy. Alex was so much more confident now. So much more secure. 

Stupid. 

Alex exited the line eagerly, tugging at the waistband of his shorts as he tried to draw it away from his aching bladder. Each step he took made his urine slosh and bounce around, all the more eager to begin rushing out. He saw the sign he needed, and followed the arrow towards the restrooms, already feeling more relaxed now that relief was so close. 

Stupid. 

Almost there, almost there… His steps became more disjointed the closer he got to the restroom, a little spurt right at the edge of breaking free, and— 

YANK! 

Psss… 

It took Alex a second to figure out what was going on, at first all he knew was that his head really, really hurt and there was fresh warmth between his thighs… Then he was on the ground, dazed and blinking up at… At a face he hadn’t seen in a long, long time, but that he immediately recognized.

The owner of the face had clearly recognized Alex as well— Why else would he have shoved him to the floor like that? 

Alex’s heart was thumping as he scrambled backwards, his need for the toilet momentarily forgotten as he focused only on one thing; getting away.

“Alex,” Papa said, and Alex froze, unable to make himself move anymore. Something in Papa’s voice had paralyzed him… Or maybe it was the LACK of something in it. 

Alex started to crawl to his feet, but the man shoved him back down hard against the ground, his knees buckled and chafed, but he barely felt it. Why was Papa here, at THIS store? This one was far away from Alex’s old house. THIS store was in the city, not in the mostly empty planes just beyond it where Papa lived.

“Alex,” Papa repeated, and Alex froze once more. He wondered if, now, Papa regretted giving him a gender neutral name, it meant that he didn’t have an older name to spit back into his face right now. “What happened to you?” 

Alex didn’t answer at first. He was too confused to. The question made no sense. “N—Nothing—“ 

“It’s not nothing,” Papa disagreed. “Nothing was wrong with you and— And now… Look at how much you’ve destroyed yourself.” 

A pang at Alex’s opening reminded him of why he’d come here to begin with… But he didn’t want to be here anymore. He wanted to be back in the line where Adam was. He wanted to be anywhere that Adam was. Wherever Adam was, it was safe. Wherever Papa was, it wasn’t safe at all… He tried to stand up and run, but was shoved against the wall. He tasted salt and only then realized that he was crying. 

Papa’s brow wrinkled in disgust as he looked Alex over more closely. Alex knew he looked and sounded lot different than he did last time Papa saw him. His voice was deeper, his chest broader, a thin bit of stubble on his chin… “What have you done?” Papa growled. “What did she make you do to yourself?” 

“Leave me alone…” Alex said softly. He knew Papa was going to do something to him, and he didn’t want to know what it was. “Adam didn’t MAKE me do anything, he just let me be myself; Th—The thing you never did!” He was amazed he was able to say all of that. 

Papa seemed to be amazed by it as well. Amazed and furious; “Alex, I don’t know what kind of nonsense that girl has you believing now, but who you ARE is my daughter.” 

Alex tried to reply, but a sob lodged in his throat wouldn’t let him. He wasn’t Papa’s daughter, not anymore. And he was never going to be his son; He didn’t belong to that man anymore in any way. 

“You’ve mutilated yourself,” Papa added. “How far has it gone? How much have you already destroyed?” 

And then, Papa was GRABBING him, and tugging and pulling and… and Alex wanted to scream at the top of his lungs but all that came out was a little whimpering noise, and Papa was talking about how gross his scars were, how he’d given up his chance to do the most important thing in the world and nourish the babies he was supposed to give birth to in the future. Alex wanted it all to just stop. Stop touching him. Stop shouting. Just leave him alone. Please. Please. Please. He pleaded in his mind, silently begging and screaming for God to help him and just please make them stop, and then Alex’s shirt was somewhere on the ground, and— 

But then, Adam was right there, and Adam was mad— And Adam NEVER gets mad, or yells— But he was yelling now, yelling a lot, yelling “Get your hands off of my Alex right now!” And now Adam had his wrist instead, and Adam was pulling him away really, really fast— And Alex still had to go so bad, but he didn’t CARE because he wanted OUT of here, he wanted Adam holding him somewhere safe. He wanted to be at home, in bed, hiding under the covers with Adam. But, he wasn’t. And Papa was still shouting, and saying Alex was disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, and Alex felt warmth going down his leg and he KNEW Papa was right, and— And— Outside. Outside now. Adam had gotten him outside, but even in the fresh air Alex still couldn’t breathe, and— And he wasn’t peeing anymore, but he was wet and still really needed to— And— And— And— There was no oxygen, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t, he couldn’t— And—In the car now, they were in the car, and— 

“Shhh…” Adam’s hand was so, so tight around Alex’s trembling, clammy one. “Shhh… Sweet thing… Shhhh… I’ve got you. You’re safe. Just breathe with me, alright?”

Alex couldn’t breathe, though! His vision was fraying, pee was dribbling out of him again, but that didn’t matter as much as how bad he needed air!

“In…” Adam encouraged. “Big breath in now, Alex…” 

Alex tried to follow Adam’s directions, tried to suck in air deeply and slowly like his boyfriend was, tried to focus on how firmly Adam was gripping his hand, and slowly… Alex could breathe again. 

“You’re safe…. I’ve got you.” Adam repeated, his eyes welling up. “God… Alex, did he hurt you?” 

Alex’s knees were bruised from when he’d been pushed, and his scalp ached from having his hair pulled so much. He felt some scrapes on his chest and legs as well… “N—Not too bad,” he said shakily. “You got there in time.” Now Alex was squeezing Adam’s hand back just as tightly. He shuddered, imagining what could have happened if his partner hadn’t come… “How did you know?” 

“I…” Adam hesitated. “I don’t…I don’t even really know. I just… Had this ‘feeling’ that something was wrong and that you needed me. It’s hard to explain…” 

“…I love you,” Alex said. 

“I love you too, Alex…” Adam said. “If he’d… If he’d hurt you badly…” He shook his head, tried to steady himself. “I… I love you more than anything, Alex. Let’s… Let’s go home now. We’ll order a pizza or something, I don’t want to… To go anywhere right now.” 

Alex nodded, “M—Me neither… The groceries…” 

“We’ll come back tomorrow, it’s okay.” 

“… Wanna be at home, Adam…” 

“I’ll get us there as fast as I can,” Adam promised, starting up the car. He looked sideways at Alex for a moment, unsure of how to broach the next subject. “In all of that… Did you… Um…” 

“I— I peed some,” Alex admitted. “A little bit. Still… Uh… Still holding a lot of it…” 

Adam reached over to rub Alex’s jiggling thigh— Whether that bounciness was from lingering fear or his still-present need was hard to tell. “Well, I’ll try to get you home even faster, then.” He returned his hand to the steering wheel, but heard Alex whimper, and when he turned his boyfriend was shaking like a leaf during an intense thunderstorm. “Y—You can make it home,” he encouraged. “I know you can do—“ 

Alex flung one of his hands out and squeezed it against Adam’s thigh. 

Oh. 

Adam decided maybe he didn’t really NEED to use both hands to drive right now, and allowed Alex to clutch one of them all he wanted. Letting Alex hold onto him like that made it easier to drive, anyway. It kept him calmer, and it made his sudden compulsion to continue looking at the passenger seat and confirm to himself that Alex was THERE and OKAY a little easier to ignore. 

Alex, meanwhile, did not think his body had ever felt so raw before. All of his nerves were standing at attention, icy fear still coursed through him, his bladder was SEARING and begging him to let it continue emptying out into his pants. He kept his thighs clenched together, but all of his muscles seemed to have minds of their own. He couldn’t decide which ones went tense and which ones went loose and jittery, his body was choosing that for him, and it made it so much harder to hold in his pee. “I— I feel really weird, Adam…” Alex said. 

“You… Had an anxiety attack,” Adam said. “That’s why you couldn’t breathe earlier.” Adam had had a couple of those… But never one while he’d been desperate to pee, that must have been horrible. Adam was honestly stunned Alex was still holding it. If the circumstances were better, he may even say he felt impressed. 

However he felt, it made him more determined to get Alex home in time. Every time Alex’s grip on his hand tightened and he heard his boyfriend whimper, Adam knew Alex’s bladder must have been spasming hard. 

Finally, Alex spoke up, “I— I can’t… It feels extra hard to hold it… I’m so… I’m too shaky all over.” 

“It will be alright, Alex,” Adam soothed. “Do you… Want me to stop somewhere, or—“ 

“Home,” Alex said, and his voice was firmer than Adam had ever heard it. “Home now. Please?” 

Adam rubbed his thumb against Alex’s hand, hoping to comfort him. He’d never, ever seen the poor thing so scared… Alex must have been terrified if wanting to get to his safe-place was more urgent than his need to pee… Adam could tell he was dying to go, he was scissoring his legs around and holding himself, and there was a clear wet spot on his shorts. “Home it is,” Adam said. “You can make it. It’s not too far… Why was he even THERE?” he asked, mostly just to himself. “He lives so far away…” 

“Sometimes… Sometimes, I remember,” Alex struggled, crossing his legs tightly. “If he had extra money at the end of the month, he’d go to the city alone and buy a steak for dinner… I… I guess he did that toda—“ Alex’s voice died in his throat as the car careened over a bump and made him lose a spurt of his pee. “Ah— Can’t hold it—!” 

Adam tightened his grip on Alex’s hand, “You can do it, sweet thing…” 

Alex DID make it back to their apartment building, but when Adam parked he made no move to spring out of the car and rush up the stairs for relief. He just stayed in his seat, crossing his legs and rocking back and forth urgently. 

Did he need to go so bad he couldn’t stand…? 

Adam exited the car, hearing Alex make a pained, pleading noise as he did so. ‘Hang on Alex, I’ll help you up,’ Adam thought as he went around to the other side of the car. He opened the door and held his arm out… Which Alex immediately latched onto like a plank of wood in the middle of a roaring ocean. Alex frantically scrambled from the car, and didn’t let go of Adam once he was out… Just… Kept clinging to him and shivering. “I… I need to go real, real bad…” he mumbled, and Adam hadn’t heard his voice shrink to such a tiny, soft level ever before. 

“You… Can’t do the stairs? Need me to carry you again?” Adam gathered. “That’s okay, I don’t mind.” 

Adam picked Alex up as he’d done the last time Alex’s bladder had been too full to handle a trip up a few flights of stairs. Adam climbed them as quickly as he dared, not wanting to shake the contents of his boyfriend’s bladder up too much. Alex’s eyes were huge on his face, and his nails dug into Adam’s shoulders hard enough to hurt. “Almost there, sweet thing,” Adam promised, and a few seconds later they’d arrived at their door and Adam set Alex down gently. 

Right away, Alex was dancing from foot to foot, one hand cramming back between his legs, and the other… Wrapping around Adam’s arm as he fished out the key. 

Alex winced at the sound of it turning in the lock. His thighs tensed up, his knees bowed inwards. “Ooooh…” he moaned, his grip— both on himself and on Adam’s arm— tightening. “Why’s it so much worse when I hear the door being unlocked?” 

Adam gave a small laugh, “Your bladder knows it means you’re really close to the bathroom,” he said. “It’s getting too excited…” He pushed the door open, expecting Alex to rush in and straight to the toilet. 

But, he didn’t…Instead, he just kept… Standing there and dancing as he held onto Adam. 

“Sweet thing…?” Adam asked. He didn’t hear any hissing… No splashing against the ground… Alex hadn’t had an accident. 

“Need… With you…” Alex managed. “Hurry?” 

And Adam understood right away. Alex was, understandably, still very, very scared and shaken up. But… This level of clinginess; Adam hadn’t seen it since back when Alex had FIRST gotten away from his dad. It wasn’t a good sign that he was seeing it again now. “Oh,” he said. “No problem… Man, you’re right! I REALLY gotta go!” He decided not to acknowledge the true meaning of Alex’s request, to pretend this was just another one of the many times they’d both had to go too badly to wait on one another. 

Alex remained latched to Adam side as they headed for the restroom. He only finally released his grip on him when he was at the toilet and realized he needed both his hands for unzipping and aiming. Alex got himself situated in front of the toilet and once Adam had joined him and tugged down his own zipper, Alex told his body that it was time to let go… 

… 

Alex told his body that it was time to let go!

… 

… 

… 

Alex told his body that IT WAS TIME TO LET GO!!

But, Alex’s body wouldn’t LISTEN. The tears he’d been holding back began to flow. “Adam, it won’t come out! Help me, please? Please make it come out? It hurts!” 

Adam tucked his cock back into his pants without releasing a single drop— His own bladder gave a confused lurch at that. Even though he hadn’t needed to pee that badly, it didn’t feel particularly great to leave the toilet without actually using it. 

“Adam, please!?” Alex begged. “Fix it!” 

Adam was right behind Alex right away, feeling huge bags of concern weighing him down. This was… Not good. At all. None of it was. Alex had been hurt today, he now couldn’t pee despite an intense need to do so, he was falling back into his earlier dependency issues, he was speaking in panicked, little half-sentences the way a young kid might… 

All because of an asshole. 

Fury rose in Adam’s chest at that thought. If Alex’s Dad hadn’t been there, or if he had just left Alex the Hell alone, Alex would have peed and gone about his day and he wouldn’t be in here right now, crying, glueing himself to his boyfriend, and begging for help with a basic bodily function… 

Alex had been doing so well at being more independent lately, too… And seeing that jackass again had managed to knock him all the way back to square one in the span of a few minutes. 

Adam was not a violent person by any means— He’d attended his first anti-war protest when he was in the fifth grade for God’s sake!— But, suddenly he had a very intense urge to wack a man over the head with a plank of wood. He almost thought he could maybe understand the feelings a world leader might experience before declaring war, and it brought his blood to such a high boil he felt feverish. 

Anger would not help Alex right now, though. What Alex needed was calm. What Adam usually was WAS calm! Rage was such a foreign sensation to him that it startled him whenever it DID pop up. 

Rage wasn’t needed now, Adam reminded himself. Calm… Calm… Be calm for Alex… “Poor Alex…” Adam said finally, hugging him from behind. “You got very scared today, and you have every right to feel that way. What happened scared me too. But, it’s over now. It’s all over, and you’re nice and safe at home with me now.” Adam could feel how much Alex’s body trembled. 

Alex sniffed loudly and choked down on a sob, “Wh—What did I do that was bad?” 

“You did nothing bad,” Adam promised, kissing the back of his partner’s neck gently.

“Wh—What if… What if it is bad?” Alex asked. “What if he’s right, and— And I’m disgusting, and Papa was right when he said I’ll go to Hell, and—“ 

“Shhh…” Adam soothed. “You’re not disgusting. You’re wonderful… And— And God would NEVER send someone like you to Hell…” Adam wasn’t religious, but he at least knew the basics enough to know that Alex didn’t belong anywhere near Hell. “Didn’t Jesus just want people to be kind and compassionate? To look after each other? That’s ALL you do!” 

“B—But, what if… Papa said ‘God doesn’t make mistakes like that…’” Alex recited. “And, that’s true. God doesn’t make mistakes…” 

“He doesn’t,” Adam agreed. “So, that must mean God made you the way you are for a reason, didn’t He? Maybe He knew it would HELP you be the wonderful, kind and compassionate person you are, if you grew up experiencing life from varying perspectives?” 

“M—Maybe…” 

“You talked to God about all of this, didn’t you?” Adam asked. “You talked to Him a lot…” 

Alex nodded. He’d always trusted God to show him the correct path, and this had been no different. After Adam had told him about being trans, Alex had been so confused. Then, one day, Adam asked Alex to meet him in the woods behind their homes at midnight to talk about it more. Alex had been unsure if he should go or not, everything was so new, and Papa had said Adam was evil… Alex didn’t think Adam was evil at all, Adam was his best friend… But, what if he was wrong? 

Alex had prayed about it, and then he’d sought answers in his Bible… The first page he turned to was a passage about going to meet a friend at midnight. 

Alex made up his mind right away then. Adam wasn’t evil, and God wanted the meeting, and whatever came of it, to happen. Papa found out about the meeting and he was furious, when Alex explained that God had wanted him to go see Adam, Papa had done something that fully broke Alex’s trust in him; Papa had claimed that HE knew better than God did. 

And then he thought back to earlier today, how he’d asked God to make Papa stop hurting him, and how Adam had just gotten a ‘feeling’ that something was wrong… 

God was on his side. Alex could always count on God to protect him. Just like he could always count on Adam. 

Psss…. 

Slowly, and with far less force than the agony in his bladder justified, a stream emerged and plinked into the bowl. Alex shuddered, but even Adam could tell that his vibrating wasn’t one of his usual pee-shivers. The poor guy was still full of fear. Adam kneaded his shoulders, “There you go, Alex… That’s better…” 

But, Alex still didn’t FEEL better at all, he was having such a difficult time peeing that it mostly just burned on its way out and his bladder was still convulsing as much as it had been when he’d still been holding it all. “Hurts…” 

“I’m so sorry, Alex… Try and relax yourself more, I know it’s not easy right now.” 

It wasn’t easy at all! Alex just wanted to let go and have all his worries and stress drain away along with his pee, but his weak, dismal stream continued to slow until it shut back off entirely. “Ohhh!” he moaned. “Adam, I still—“ 

“I know…” Adam said. “I… Do you want to try sitting instead?” 

Alex didn’t know if that would help, but he was going to lose his mind if he didn’t get more of this pee out of his body. He lowered the toilet seat, pulled his shorts down the rest of the way, turned and sat. He left his harness on, left the prosthetic right where it belonged. After today, he REALLY didn’t want to take it off, to lose the security it made him feel. 

Now, sitting on the toilet with nothing preventing him from releasing his waterfall, Alex bounced his knees and tapped his feet as his bladder continued its angry thrashing. 

Adam rubbed his thigh gently, “Try not to squirm, I think it will be harder if you squirm.” 

“Adam, please make it stop?” Alex begged. 

Adam wished he COULD, but he had zero idea of how he could do that! Alex’s body had to be the one to give Alex what he needed… “I—I— Adam fumbled, seeing Alex in so much pain was making HIM feel like he was being tortured, too! He jerked his hand to the side and flicked the sink’s faucet on full blast. “Listen… Listen to that, okay?” 

Alex did, it sent his bladder into a wild frenzy, made it throb and pulse and jolt all around inside his body. He felt sick. He felt dizzy. The fear was still like ice within his veins. “P…Papa can’t find us, can he? He can’t find where we live?” 

“He can’t,” Adam said. “And, if he does, if he tries to come inside, I’ll call the police. They won’t let him come in. They’ll make him leave.” 

“H—He can’t take me back?” Alex asked, eyes big and watery, like the pee within him was trying to force its way out through any exit it could find. “Promise?” 

“I promise,” Adam assured. “You are an adult now, Alex. He can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.” 

Alex’s breathing seemed to steady for a moment. But, only for a moment. “What about the… The little—“ 

“When your parents divorced, the judge gave your Mom custody of the little ones,” Adam reminded. “The people in charge of all that know which place is safest, they wouldn’t send them to your Dad. They’re safe. You’re safe.” 

Alex reached out a hand and squeezed it around one of Adam’s. “I don’t… I don’t wanna see him again…” 

“I know…” Adam nodded, wincing at how tightly Alex was gripping him. He wasn’t sure if it was fear or desperation causing that, but he wished both of those things would flood out of Alex’s body soon. “I’m so sorry you had to see him today. I really didn’t expect that.” 

“He… He came out of nowhere, I was just… I just wanted to go pee. I still just wanna go pee…” Alex’s knee began to bounce again. “It hurts so bad, Adam…” 

“Shhh…” Adam soothed. “Poor thing… I should have come with you. I should have—“ 

“I told you to stay.” 

“I know…” Adam sighed. “… Alex? You remember… Um… You remember the first time we went grocery shopping together? Remember how bad you had to go that day?” 

Alex nodded. He could never forget that! It was right after he and Adam had moved in together. At that point in Alex’s life, he was so fearful of the world. He’d used a public bathroom as a guy only once— The very first time he’d used his STP, actually. He’d been at the hospital where Mom was delivering Mary, and Adam had given him a bag of clothes and things to try on, including a binder and an STP. Alex looked as much like a guy as he could have back then. 

But, he stayed in the hospital overnight with his Mom, and partway through the morning it had hit him how badly he needed to pee. He got nervous then, unsure which restroom he could use. But, he found one for ‘special needs’ that wasn’t gendered. He knew that probably meant ‘people in wheelchairs’ or something like that, but he hoped ‘Scared of public bathrooms’ counted as well. 

He’d gone in, peed standing up for the very first time, and felt so wonderful and good, so right, so at home in his body… He’d felt relief wash over him, but not just from his bladder. He’d felt it in his brain too, he’d felt… Okay in his skin, something he hadn’t realized until then that he’d NEVER actually felt before. He looked at himself in the mirror after he was finished, and he didn’t think he had ever been so happy. He’d spent his entire life feeling bad and wrong without knowing why, but then he finally felt whole. 

But, after that, he stayed away from public restrooms. Once he’d escaped from his Dad, he’d attended a high school in the city for a little while, but no matter how desperate he got to pee, he always held it until he was back home where it felt safe. He HAD to do that— Some of his new classmates had said that they’d beat him up if they saw him go into the bathrooms there, and he believed them. 

He didn’t last long at the high school. He was so far behind, and being bullied by people who didn’t like that he was trans, thought he was stupid since he knew so little of the world, or both certainly didn’t help. And, it was hard to concentrate and catch back up to speed with people lightyears ahead of him academically when he was ALWAYS dying to pee. 

He’d actually had a couple small accidents in those days, where he’d make it all the way home after school but soak his boxers as he unzipped. He never spilled enough to make a puddle on the floor, but more than once he lost so much that he needed to change his pants. 

After just a few months, he couldn’t do it anymore. He wasn’t getting anywhere, and he wasn’t happy. He had to stop. 

Adam had begun tutoring him then instead, trying to teach him all of the basics he should have been told early on. Alex got better at Math and learned as much as he could about history. Then, Adam finally took him to a new place, where he’d filled out some long tests, and soon enough he’d gotten his GED. It wasn’t quite the same as actually graduating from a high school, but it MEANT the same thing, and Alex was so proud of himself for managing it. 

But, the whole long day he’d been taking those tests, he hadn’t peed. When he got home, he’d flooded the toilet for well over a minute. He was almost as proud of himself for making it to the restroom in time as he was for getting the GED! 

Now that Alex had completed his education, he and Adam began to live together right away, and shortly after that was Alex’s first trip to the grocery store with him; During which he got so desperate to pee that it had sent him into fits of agony. 

“You remember that day?” Adam asked again. 

“Y—Yeah…” Alex said. “I… I remember… I really needed to go…” 

“You sure did…” Adam agreed. “Took me so long to figure out what was wrong. Silly thing wouldn’t speak up.” 

“I didn’t think it would do any good…” Alex said. “I thought… I thought you’d tell me to just go. I didn’t think about how you’d understand.” 

Alex had told Adam eventually, when he stumbled over his own feet and a jet of pee soaked the area between his legs, he blurted it out; “Adam, I need the bathroom REALLY bad!” 

Adam had blushed at Alex’s volume, and then grown tense. Now that Alex had told him the problem, it was obvious to him that he couldn’t make it home… 

But, at that time Adam hadn’t set FOOT in a public bathroom since the day he’d gotten beaten up. He didn’t know if he could do it, he didn’t— 

He looked at Alex’s face again, and knew that he HAD to. 

“Of course I understood,” Adam said now. “I felt the same way… But, as soon as you told me you had to go, I had to ignore that I was scared and get you what you needed.” 

Adam had escorted Alex swiftly to the restroom that day. Alex had eyed the urinals for a moment, but then ducked into a stall and locked it. “Don’t leave!” he called out immediately. 

“I’m right here,” Adam had called back. “No one else is in here.” 

“And…” Alex said now. “When you promised you’d stay, I felt so safe… Like nothing bad could happen, because you were there… And… And I just…” Something finally gave out inside Alex’s body, and a rush of pee began to spray into the bowl beneath his seat. “Ahhhh…..” he groaned, immediately losing his train of thought as the relief overtook all other stimuli. 

“You just peed…” Adam finished for him. “Like you are now… Isn’t that better?” 

Alex nodded, his body jerking and spasming with convulsions that Adam knew WERE his usual pee-shivers this time. Alex decided it was a good thing he’d sat down, his legs were numb and tingly and he was struggling to even stay SITTING upright. Standing would have been a disaster. He peed so hard and so fast that the noise echoed within the bowl. 

There was only one problem with Alex sitting to go; When the sound of his release began to taunt Adam’s bladder, he had no choice but to hold it! Alex couldn’t step to the side and let him join in like normal! Adam bounced on his toes as he waited for Alex to empty. 

Alex’s stream finally slowed down to a trickle, then a gentle dribbling, and then it was over. He stood and shakily pulled his shorts back up. “Th—Thank you, Adam…” he said. “I’m sorry I got so—“

“Anyone would have been upset, Alex. Someone who hurt you just… Appeared out of nowhere to hurt you again, of course you were scared. I was scared!” Adam gave Alex a kiss on the cheek. “But, you’re safe now. No reason to be scared anymore. All better, right?” 

“Yeah… I feel better now that I don’t have to go anymore.” 

“That’s good… I still need to, though.” 

“Oh. Oh, right,” Alex said. He wavered at the doorway, he still didn’t want to be too far from Adam. 

“You can stay here if you wanna,” Adam shrugged as he unzipped. “I don’t mind.”

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...