Anybody have a hard time discussing kink, even in a safe space?

[EXNIHILVS 4]

Basically what the title says. That said I also have enough mental health issues to make anybody constantly on edge and I REALLY don't expect people to accept me as i am and I absolutely LOATHE being or feeling emotionally vulnerable irl (much easier to type things out as i find it provides some distance between myself and the subject matter.)

... also humiliation is not my thing. I've dealt with that enough already in my humble opinion (baggage of an ADHD/NVLD and possibly ASD childhood without much in the way of emotional support.)

OH! I'm a DL just FTR.

Oh gawd this is just getting sad, so ima drop it. Anybody feel me though?

Edited January 23, 2022 by EXNIHILVS (see edit history)

[RWJdiapers 1]

That's very true and relatable. I'm also just a DL that carries some of that baggage.

[koopatroopa 72]

You're not alone! For me, Ive only opened up to one person and luckly that person became my wife.  Unfortunately this fetish is pretty rare so there isnt much support (or general knowledge about it) in the greater community. But people with this particular lifestyle are out there, even if you only really see us online :p

I cant offer much advice, other than maybe joining a abdl discord (more to talk openly or find like minded people) but I hope you find someone that you can talk freely too. 

[dobeesdream 18]

Yeah I don't feel comfortable with it within myself so how am I meant to talk about it with others, even friends who say they'll be understanding and nonjudgemental, because you just know they won't really -get it- and will be a bit weirded out. Which is like, fair enough. I would be weirded out too if I was in their position.

[Tailsuser 93]

Safe spaces, huh?

For a space to be regarded as safe by me there would be a few boxes to check:

• Digital safety. Everybody got a smartphone. Those things need to be physically stopped from listening. If they are not, I might as well be talking publicly.
• Personal safety. The persons there must be persons I can either trust - or the information they receive in this safe space cannot be linked back to me. Ideally both.
• I should be able to reach the space without being traced there.

If this is fulfilled I might be able to open myself. I am not completely sure about it, but I think this is the case. Since your question was about kinks in general, I have something more to share. I have noticed I do not have real problems discussing kink, as long as I am not discussing MY kink. If I am talking about what I like about ABDL it just feels insanely personal. And I am not very sure if I can let people that deep into my mind.

Edited February 3, 2022 by Tailsuser
clarification. (see edit history)

[SlendrWetr 64]

Kind of as touched on above, it all depends on either how much you trust someone/people to accept you to the level you expect, or how they react when you start to explore sharing your interests. Sometimes it's easier to engage others first and try to find out what their interests or kinks are (if any). This might help them to relate on why you like the things you like.

[dandeliontea 17]

I relate to this pretty hard. The only person I've been fully open with about this IRL was very sweet & accepting about it, but also not personally into it and didn't want to hear about it in much detail (which I can understand). 

I'm just now getting to the point where I don't get completely ridiculous anxiety talking about kink stuff in a completely anonymous way on a site like this? Hoping real life openness will also come easier with the right person someday.

[DrBorderline 258]

Safety is always relative, especially when it comes to kink / fetish specific circles. What is tame in one is often still taboo in another.

There's definitely a sociology PhD waiting for somebody willing to do a detailed analysis of why this is. My own theory is that each fetish subculture has to push back against the negativity associated with their specific kink in the popular consciousness, and the easiest way to do that is to put somebody else lower on the ladder. "I may be into X but at least I'm not into Y." That kind of thing.

[Brittanybunny 1,231]

Oh absolutely, but then I remember like a lot of other people, everyone thinks their kink is weird to others, i think my general fear would be if i were back where i used to live in jersey, near everyone knew me, so if secret got out id probably die of embarrassment. But i try and remember everyone has something about themselves they think others will judge on and i think psychologically if i provide someone a safe space first to be open to me, then they will do it back. 

[Cailo 1]

Yes, I’ve always been super awkward around most bedroom stuff, fortunately in a way most previous partners have found endearing.

Kink stuff has always been a step out of my comfort zone to bring up, I do wish I could be more open about it, I’m recently single from a long term relationship so kind of considering pushing myself to get out there a bit.