WiiGuy86 641 Posted January 19, 2022 Popular Post Share Posted January 19, 2022 This is a fan made sequel to the legendary Gillian’s “Ashley’s Orientation Day”. If you haven’t read it, I’m attaching it. If you have access to the easyshag archive, I’d strongly recommend checking out the rest of Gillian’s work. I can also upload the archive to this site if there’s demand for it. Dividing this in to 2 parts for now. Part 2 hopefully coming soon. ————————————————————————————————————————————— After a week of struggling to make friends in her dorm following her spectacular pee accident on orientation day, Ashley decided to join a sorority, hoping to get a social fresh start at her new college. Ashley was delighted to find all of the girls quite welcoming, despite the fact that they had all apparently heard about her orientation day disaster. After a month of continuing to get to know all of her sisters, Ashley was feeling much better about everything, happy to have a found such a great group of friends. She felt confident that the sisters would soon allow her to become a full member of the sorority. ————————————————————————————————————————————— Waking up on an unusually warm October morning, Ashley felt a flutter in her stomach as she looked at her phone and saw she had a text from the sorority’s president, Michelle. Michelle was a bit of intimidating character who took everything quite seriously and was always very put together. Ashley made sure to dress well that day, and went through her classes a bit distracted by her looming meeting. After class, she made her way to the sorority house, careful to be on time, and entreated Michelle’s study. “Hello Ashley” Michelle immediately began, “We’ve really enjoyed your company over these past few weeks and we’re just about ready to make you and a few of your other classmates full fledged sisters.” Ashley’s heart leapt with joy “I know you had a bit of a rough start here at the university, but we believe that everyone deserves a second chance. That’s why we’re inviting you to our annual Lakeshore beach cleanup on Saturday. The only pledges at this event will be those we’ve selected to become full fledged sisters. It’s traditionally sort of the final right of passage.” “Thank you thank you thankyou” Ashley stammered, a smile breaking out across her face “This is such an honor, I am so happy to have found such an amazing group of girls, I will not let you down!.” Michelle smiled back warmly “Of course Ashley. I have to meet another one of the pledges now, but I’ll see you a dinner downstairs?” “Yes of course” Ashley replied as she got up to leave the room “Oh and Ashley” Michelle interrupted “I’m not saying this to be condescending or anything but, just as a heads up, there’s often a bit of drinking on this trip, it’s a 90 minute ride and the buses do not have bathrooms. There are bathrooms at the lake, but they’re usually a bit dirty…. all I’m saying is this trip has resulted in some full bladders before so, be sure to take precaution… wouldn’t want you to have another… accident.” “Of course, thank you again” Ashley replied as she exited the room, blushing wildly. 90 minutes, she thought to herself, that was easily manageable. She wasn’t excited at the prospect of using the dirty bathrooms at the lake, but she would grin and bear it, it would be worth the peace of mind. ————————————————————————————————————————————— Ashley woke up and silenced her alarm. Today was the day. She had already selected her outfit, a pair of grey leggings and a simple hoodie. She opted for comfort over style, figuring they would be doing community service anyway. Ashley arrived at the sorority house early and greeted her future sisters, taking a final precautionary pee before the old yellow school bus arrived to take them 90 minutes to the beach. She found herself sitting toward the back of the bus with one of the girls she had gotten close to, Courtney. Courtney was a year older than Ashley and had taken her under her wing, acting as a friend and mentor, something Ashley greatly appreciated. Michelle and some of the other senior girls were sat in the back of the bus just behind them. As soon as the bus was underway, the older girls immediately began breaking out their drinks and the girl sitting just in front of Ashley, Ellen, handed her a can of beer. Fearing that she would be mocked if she declined, Ashley decided to take the beer but drink it very slowly as she enjoyed the ride and conversed with her new friends. 45 minutes later and Ashley had finally finished her first beer and was being handed another one. She looked at it nervously before opening it, she didn’t need to pee at all, but was a bit scarred from her previous accident. She pulled out her phone and checked their progress, they indeed seemed to be on track to reach the beach in 45 minutes and there didn’t appear to be any traffic. Feeling a little buzzed from the first beer, Ashley felt confident that she would be fine, she was an adult and she could have some fun with the other girls, she cracked open the can and took a long first sip. 20 minutes later, her second can was going in to the trash and she was being handed a 3rd. Ashley hesitated this time, she was starting to need to pee and they were still 30 minutes away. She felt like she would be fine, but just to be safe, she decided to drink this can very very slowly so that she could finish it just before they arrived, then hopefully only have to pee once before they left. Ashley was relieved as they finally approached the beach, she was feeling a solid need to pee now, and still had half her beer left, she was glad she had been careful. The bus pulled up to a gate, apparently a parking entrance, and Ashley felt a pang of anxiety as she saw a long line of cars ahead, it was unseasonably warm today and apparently the beach only had one entrance open for an unusually number of visitors for this time of year. “I hope this line moves fast” Courtney commented next to her “I really have to pee”. Ashley looked over and noticed that Courtney was sitting with her legs tightly crossed as she deposited her fourth empty beer can in to the plastic bag between them. “I kinda have to go too” Ashley replied “I’m sure it won’t take long” The next few minutes dragged on as the bus inched forward in line and several of the other girls openly declared their need for a bathroom. Ashley was so glad she had been careful, she couldn’t imagine the panic she would be feeling if she were desperate right now. 10 minutes of tightly crossed legs later and the bus finally entered the parking lot and came to a stop. The girls gathered their things and file off, forming a large group just outside the bus. “Okay first stop bathroom” one of them declared as the last of the girls, including Michelle, stepped down off the bus. Most of the girls formed a group to head off to the bathroom. Ashley, feeling quite a need now, followed them. Ashley was deep in conversation with one of the other girls as the group approached the brick building, before she heard a gasp from the front. “Oh God” on the girls was saying “They’re closed for the season, they must have closed everything down early this year. This is bullshit”. Ashley immediately felt a sinking feeling in her stomach, but at least she was not alone. “Maybe we can squat somewhere” one of the girls suggested “NO” Michelle boomed immediately before standing up on the back of a nearby car “Girls, there can be no squatting or public urination, multiple other sororities have been getting sighted for this recently. There are way too many people around and no good cover, we can not take the risk. I understand everyone’s been drinking, I have has well, lets unpack the equipment, take some pictures, then we can get back on the bus and head back early, there’s a rest stop only about 20 minutes here we can stop at. There were some murmurs of anguish among the group, but everyone seemed to accept Michelle’s plan and head back for the bus. Ashley was given what looked like a hiking stick for collecting litter and Courtney grabbed a trash bag and they went off to look for something to clean up and the other girls posed for photos with their equipment and some of the surrounding trash. As they separated from the group a bit, Courtney curtsied a bit while crossing her legs as she turned to Ashley “I really hope we’re not here long, I need to pee so bad right now” “Me too, hopefully we’re out of here fast” Ashley replied, as one of the older girls approached them with a camera. Courtney was forced to stand still as the girls took some pictures pretending to pick up trash. Over the next 15 or so minutes, Ashley couldn’t keep her mind off of the rapidly expanding pressure in her abdomen. Why had she drank those beers? She was hardly even buzzed any more, all she could think was how many more minutes it would be until she could get a toilet. She tried to focus on the task at hand and not on the idea of having another humiliating accident, but Courtney’s anxious pacing wasn’t helping much. She would be fine, she tried to assure herself, this wasn’t nearly as bad as Orientation day, she could hold it. Finally Michelle announced they were leaving and all the girls quickly piled back in to the bus. The party mood had dissipated and everyone was mostly just anxious to get back on the road, with several of the girls emphasizing that they really needed to find a bathroom soon. Ashley was happy to sit down, immediately slouching back in her seat to give her bladder as much room as possible. Sitting next to her she noticed Courtney unbutton her shorts and tightly cross her legs, leaning forward a bit and rubbing her hands over her thighs. The bus’ engine roared to life and then idled for a few tense minutes as the girls finished packing up and boarding the bus. Courtney was bent over with her arms folded across her chest and her head down as Ashley tried to look out the window and see what was taking so long. Finally Michelle boarded the bus and Ashley saw her talk to the driver for a moment before the bus lurched forward and they were on their way. As Michelle passed Ashley’s seat to retake hers at the back of the bus, Ashley noticed her normally happy face looked very stressed and she was walking slightly hunched over. Ashley was feeling much better now that they were on their way to a bathroom. She had to pee bad but it wasn’t critical, not nearly as bad as it was when she woke up in the car on her orientation day, but under normal circumstances she would certainly be looking to get to a bathroom as soon as possible. Ashley had overheard some of the older girls saying that the rest area was 30 minutes away once they got out of the beach area, that was certainly doable, she was more worried about Courtney who at this point seemed to be extremely desperate, her legs frantically jiggling up and down as she remained hunched over. Ashley felt her anxiety creep back in as the bus joined a long line of cars to exit the beach area. She was at least comforted by the fact that she wasn’t alone as she heard several load groans as the bus came to a stop. After a few minutes of inching along, Courtney finally picked her head up and asked Ashley what was going on. “There’s a line to leave the park, just like there was to get in.” Ashley said “Oh gooddddddddd” Courtney replied, her head briefly dipping back down as she plunged a hand in to her unbuttoned shorts “How long is this going to take? I don’t know if I can do this, I have to pee soooooo bad” “Er…” Ashley stammered “At this rate… probably only like 10 minutes Courtney didn’t reply, just letting out a huff before putting her head back down. Ashley recrossed her legs and took her phone out, scrolling through social media to try and take her mind off of the pressure in her abdomen. The distraction seemed to help, passing about 5 minutes before Courtney let out a moan and looked back up, only to still see a line of cars in front of them. She gasped, stood up, hand still in crotch, face beet red, and turned to the older girls behind her. “Guys, I need to get out and squat somewhere, I have to pee so bad I literally can’t hold it” “You can hold it Courtney” Michelle responded coldly “We’re all in pain, just grin and bear it and we’ll be at the rest stop soon.” “You don’t understaaaand” Courtney wailed, actively massaging her crotch now “It HURTS, it hurts so bad, I’ve never had to go like this, never in my life. I HAVE to pee NOW or I’m going to go in my shorts, there’s nothing else, I can do, I have to get out.” “Courtney!” Michelle snapped “Sit down and shut up! We’re all in pain, there is no cover here, you’ll end up on the internet and get us all in trouble. I know this sucks, trust me, just hang on and I promise it won’t be much longer” “Oh god” Courtney gasped to herself as she plopped back down next to Ashley, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She resumed her hunched over position but this time with her hand still in crotch and one leg repeatedly slapping against the other one. As the bus finally approached the toll booth to exit, Ashley was getting increasingly concerned about the state of her own bladder. She could no longer focus on her phone and was now feeling a persistent, urgent pain which seemed to be growing fast. After a few minutes of squirming, the bus finally cleared the booth and was out on to the open road and more importantly to Ashley and many of the other girls, on its way to a toilet. Just 5 minutes later though and Ashley’s need had risen to new heights, it was now to the point that she was occasionally dropping a hand to her crotch to help herself as her legs were constantly squirming. Despite her own developing ordeal, she continued to worry about Courtney as well. She was still locked in her hunched over posture so that Ashley couldn’t even see her face, but she could hear her frantic, labored breathing as she was clearly in immense pain and making a huge effort not to pee through her shorts on to the floor of the bus. Ashley was trying to look out the window and focus on the passing scenery when she noticed a figure dart down the aisle. It was Michelle, walking quickly to the front of the moving bus. Ashley monitored the situation closely as Michelle spent a few moments talking to the driver before heading back to her seat, as she passed, Ashley noticed that she also had her black skinny jeans unbuttoned and her face was getting very red as well. “There’s a gas station 5 minutes ahead, we’re going to stop there” Michelle gasped, clearly frantic as well. Abby checked her watch, relieved that they would be stopping earlier than expected, but eally getting to the point that she would be counting down those minutes. Ashley.rtf cruiser79, TimboUnsliced, TBN93 and 10 others 13 Quote Link to comment
LifeIsStrange 1,003 Posted January 19, 2022 Share Posted January 19, 2022 Wow you must've read my mind cause I was thinking of writing a sequel to this story exactly like this for years! Really well done, I was wondering if you'd considering writing to sequel to some of Gillian's other stories? I've got ideas for a few(and also ideas for sequels to stories by other authors on Shara and Ger's). Just one minor quibble, the whole "scrolling through social media" thing I found a bit distracting as the original story was written in 2003-well before social media and smartphones were a thing, just a minor nitpick. So i'd recommend trying to keep the story period accurate. Other then that great job! Looking forward to what happens next, i'm hoping you also follow up on the ending of the original story with Ashley's sister desperate while on her way to ballet class(and i'd also like to see her parents get some karma for deliberately manipulating their daughters like that). pguy69 and cruiser79 2 Quote Link to comment
GreenChile 828 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 OMG love it, can't wait for the rest and maybe more sequels to other stories Quote Link to comment
pguy69 497 Posted January 22, 2022 Share Posted January 22, 2022 Well this is the best thing I have read in ages! Literally can't wait to see part two! As others have said, would love to see some of Gillians other works revisted too cruiser79 1 Quote Link to comment
docsteve 57 Posted January 23, 2022 Share Posted January 23, 2022 Fantastic! Can’t wait to read more. Gillian’s stories were some of the very best. And yes, please post the archives. Quote Link to comment
WiiGuy86 641 Posted January 27, 2022 Author Share Posted January 27, 2022 PART 2 ———————————————————————————————————————————————————— Time continued to inch by for Ashley as she tried to focus on anything other than her bulging bladder. Even in normal circumstances this would have been difficult, but given what was going on around her, it was completely impossible. Courtney was still panting heavily, hunched over with her hand down her unbuttoned pants, and several of the other girls were now loudly complaining as well, some of even coming to the back of the bus to plead with the senior girls, who continued to reassure them they would be stopping soon. Sure enough, Ashley soon saw the gas station coming in to sight. As the bus slowed down and begin to turn off into the parking lot, several of the girls on the bus began to stand up pre emptively and express that they would absolutely have to go first, starting a bit of an argument about who would get to pee first. This was the first time it occurred to Ashley that this small gas station would likely not have enough bathrooms for this bus full of girls, and that she would probably have to wait a little longer. Thankfully she was clearly not as bad off as some other others, but she still had to go very, very badly. “Oh godddd” Courtney moaned, finally looking up “I absolutely can not wait in a line. I need to go first or I’ll just have to pee on the ground, I literally can not hold this in” This caused Michelle to stand up “NO ONE IS PEEING ON THE GROUND” she boomed. “ANYONE WHO DOES WILL BE PUT ON PROBATION IMMEDIATELY”. There were several groans in response to this as the bus finally pulled up outside the gas station. Before the bus had even come to a complete stop, Courtney jumped up and took off down the aisle. Ashley looked up and noticed that several other girls had done the same and as the doors opened, all the girls began attempting to get out of their seats, awkwardly jockeying for position. Standing up, Ashleys need to seem to increase and she quickly hunched over, and realizing absolutely no one was going to care right now, gave herself a quick squeeze as she looked at the group of frantic women trying to get out of the bus ahead of her. As she painstakingly watched the girls file off the bus, there was a suddenly a loud buzz. It scared Ashley a bit and she was immediately thankful she didn’t have to go any worse or it might have caused her to leak. Turning around, she saw that Michelle herself was opening the emergency exit door and climbing out of the back of the bus, Ashley and all the other senior girls quickly followed, beelining immediately for the gas station. The girls quickly realized that this was an older gas station with bathrooms that had to be accessed from outside the small shop, and that a key had to be obtained from the attendant. As a couple of the more desperate girls at the front ran inside to get the key, a massive queue quickly formed outside of the station’s two single bathrooms, one of which was designated for women and the other for men. Ashley was dismayed to round the corner and see that she was already at the back of the line. Courtney wasted no time immediately going right to the front and joining an apparent argument over who was getting first dibs. As Ashley, Michelle, and some of the other senior girls joined the back of the line, one of the girls from the front of the bus finally emerged from the gas station, going straight to the front of the line and unlocking then entering the women’s bathroom. “We need to get the key to the mens room!” one of the girls near the front shouted, before dashing back in to the gas station with a hand in her crotch. Ashley took a deep breath and took inventory of the chaotic situation. It seemed every girl on the bus badly needed to pee, which made sense, it had been hours and they had all been drinking, thinking they could go at the beach. There was no order at the front of the line, with all the girls standing in an unorganized, group, many of them frantically pacing in circles and moaning about the severity of their need. Ashley caught a glimpse of Courtney, who looked like she was really crying now and still had a hand down her pants doing one of the most frantic pee dances Ashley had ever seen. As the bathroom door opened and the first girl finally came out, there was a rush toward the next opportunity to use the toilet, and Courtney wasn’t able to push her way in before another girl did. She retreated back a bit in anguish, gasping and moaning. Ashley herself was not doing much better, now that she was standing and anticipating relief, her need had increased dramatically, to the point that she couldn’t keep her feet still and was constantly stepping back and fourth, her mind racing with ideas of how she could escape this situation as soon as possible. She was now well beyond her “I really have to pee” stage and crossing quickly into panic mode. She considered joining the group at the front of the line and begging for mercy, but as a girl who was trying to shake a reputation for peeing her pants, she really didn’t want to call attention to the fact that she again had to pee so badly that she needed to cut in line. Ashleys thoughts were interrupted by the return of the girl who had gone to get the men’s key. She was empty handed and complaining that the attendant refused to give it to her, sparking even more outrage and frustration amongst the other girls. “ughhhhhh” Ashley heard behind her, turning to see one of senior girls, Kelly, stamping her feet in a little cirlce ”this is absolute bullshit” she moaned. “I’m going to go for a walk, it will help me hold it, no sense standing here dancing” “Kelly” Michelle said softly “You absolutely can not think about going outside… if you do it, all the girls will want to do it, and we’re already in bad shape with the dean’s office, we can not take the risk right now.” “I know I know” Kelly replied with a gasp “I just need to walk, it helps, there’s nowhere out here for me to go anyway.” Ashley recrossed her legs, running her hand over her burning bladder and oh so briefly giving her throbbing vagina a squeeze through her pants. She looked around and saw that Kelly was right, there was nowhere to go. The gas station was in the middle of nowhere, not a tree or a bush in sight. The station itself had windows on 3 sides, with only side where the bathrooms are not having any, and that was directly facing the parking lot and gas pumps, where cars were coming and going every few minutes. Not to mention that the building had security cameras seemingly on all sides and near the pumps. There was absolutely no chance of taking an emergency pee here without everyone knowing about it. Ashley heard the bathroom door slam as another girl apparently made it to her turn. Still wasn’t Courtney, and not even a dent had been made in the crowd, a realization that sent a pang of panic through Ashley. At this rate this was going to take another hour, there was absolutely no chance she could hold it that long. Her mind drifting back to contingency plans, she figured that if she absolutely could not hold it, her best bet may be to just get back on the bus and pee herself. All the girls would find out, but at least she wouldn’t get anyone else in trouble or be caught on film. If it came to that, she thought, she might just have to transfer to another school and start over. Looking longingly back at the bus, she noticed the driver still sitting in his seat, reading a magazine. “I wonder if the driver will be pissed we’re holding him up” Ashley said to Michelle, who, since Kelly left, was now standing quietly with both her arms and legs crossed, and an intense look of concentration on her face. “The driver….” Michelle responded, coming out of her daze “Oh God, the driver, Ashley, come with me” she quipped, quickly walking toward the bus without waiting for any further comment. Ashley followed Michelle as she walked awkwardly back over to the bus and approached the driver who was still sitting in his seat. “Ummm… I’m sorry to both-bother do you but um do you think you could um maybe request the men’s bathroom key for us? It would sure get us out of here faster…” The driver looked up from his magazine at the two squirming sorority girls, then lifted his eyes up to the long queue of pee dancers behind them, the look on his face indicating that he was realizing the severity of the situation for the first time. “Um, yeah sure” he said, getting up from his seat and heading in to the station. Ashley followed Michelle back to the line, where she went immediately to the door of the mens room to wait. Now standing outside the bathroom, it seemed Michelle could no longer maintain any kind of decorum. Her pants were obviously unbuttoned and she was rapidly stepping back and fourth. Breathing heavily and groaning loudly every few seconds, frequently rubbing a hand over her red face. Finally, the driver rounded the corner with a key and opened the second bathroom, Michelle made to go in but was quickly interrupted by Courtney. “Michelle” she gasped “Please, please let me go, I can’t hold this any longer, I’m already losing it” There was a moment of hesitation as Michelle contemplated it, she was just feet from the toilet, she could see it, so could Ashley, but trying to be a strong leader Michelle stepped aside and let Courtney pass. “Just hurry” she muttered quietly. Ashley thought for sure she was going to leak as the door slammed, the sight of the toilet had been to much, but she was pretty sure she managed to stop it. She discreetly dropped a hand down to check and although her panties were getting quite damp, she was pretty sure it was just from holding it beyond the point of an emergency, she was pretty sure she hadn’t leaked. She was however starting to have a full blown panic attack at the realization that, if she couldn’t pee soon, she would surely pee her pants again. Her heart was beating hard and felt like it crawled up in to her throat. She wanted so badly to ask Michelle to go next but could hardly bare the embarrassment, just two more minutes and she could go without incident. And maybe after this, some of the other girls would have some empathy for her previous accident. It seemed like only a few seconds had passed before Ashley heard a gasp from the other line, and a girl she didn’t know very well, Lyne, surged forward. Lyne was possibly one of the prettiest girls in the whole sorority, a tall blonde sophomore who today had made the mistake of wearing a form fitting white denim romper. “Please I HAVE to go next. Oh my god oh my god oh my godddddd” The rest of the girls seemingly tried to ignore this outburst as Lyne stepped up to the door of the ladies room and began banging on it “come on come on PLEASSEEEEE GO- oh no…” Lyne let out a yelp as she turned her back to the building and took about 2 steps away before bending over 90 degrees and burying both hands in her crotch, she stayed like that for a very brief moment before suddenly an absolute JET of piss shot out behind her and splattered across the ground. She let out a whaling exhale along with the rest of her obviously overfilled bladder. Her clear pee cascaded down between her legs, it sounded like a rainstorm hitting the pavement. Many of the other waiting girls turned away, unable to bare the sight, but Ashley was entranced watching someone else experience the humiliation that she had so many times in her life. The pee went on and on and on, soaking through the thin white fabric of Lyne’s romper and turning the fabric translucent, exposing Lyne’s tiny lime green thong. Lyne sank to her haunches and buried her face in her hands, letting out a few sporadic sobs as she flooded the ground, forcing some of the other waiting girls to take a few steps back. As Lyne’s stream began to taper off, Courtney emerged from the mens room, looking relaxed for the first time in hours. “Oh my God” she said, seeing Lyne as Michelle bolted past her and slammed the door shut. Absolutely needing to go next, Ashley carefully stepped around Lyne’s puddle and positioned herself just outside the bathroom door, and taking advantage of the distraction and the slight privacy the wall provided, she gave her womanhood a long hard squeeze, and closed her eyes tightly, focusing on breathing until she finally felt the door open and Michelle exit. Wasting no time, Ashley slammed the door shut behind her and used both hands to rip down her legs and collapse on to the toilet, peeing furiously before she had completely sat down. As she reveled in the relief, Ashley felt proud of herself, despite everything, she had managed to control herself and maintain her dignity. Hopefully this finally marked the end of her accident prone adolescence. Ashley peed for just over a minute, taking a deep breath at the end and standing up. Pulling up her pants she felt her warm, but proudly dry underwear come in contact with her privates which were throbbing with relief. She quickly washed her hands and yielded her place to the next girl in line. Exiting the dingy bathroom and feeling the next girl dash past her, Ashley spotted Lyne sitting alone on the curb of the parking lot, still hunched over. She put a comforting hand on her back, which was still wet with sweat and sat down next to her. “It’ll be ok” she said comfortingly “Trust me I would know” Lyne looked up and flashed Ashley a quick smile and a little giggle. With the weight of the world off her shoulders, Ashley took a look around, it was a beautiful day. Although some were still waiting anxiously outside the bathroom, many of her new sisters were strewn about the parking lot, relaxing and recovering after their ordeals. Ashley felt at home here, maybe this college thing wouldn’t be so bad after all. Babyfxce3, Kei, biblio474 and 3 others 5 1 Quote Link to comment
WiiGuy86 641 Posted January 27, 2022 Author Share Posted January 27, 2022 On 1/19/2022 at 6:42 PM, LifeIsStrange said: Wow you must've read my mind cause I was thinking of writing a sequel to this story exactly like this for years! Really well done, I was wondering if you'd considering writing to sequel to some of Gillian's other stories? I've got ideas for a few(and also ideas for sequels to stories by other authors on Shara and Ger's). Just one minor quibble, the whole "scrolling through social media" thing I found a bit distracting as the original story was written in 2003-well before social media and smartphones were a thing, just a minor nitpick. So i'd recommend trying to keep the story period accurate. Other then that great job! Looking forward to what happens next, i'm hoping you also follow up on the ending of the original story with Ashley's sister desperate while on her way to ballet class(and i'd also like to see her parents get some karma for deliberately manipulating their daughters like that). I definitely thought about her sister, or even doing flashbacks of Ashley's previous accidents. So many possibilities! Glad you enjoyed. I was conscious of the cell phone thing - but since the original story never really specifies a time period I put it in anyway. So many of the best stories are old and I feel like stories that include references to modern society increase the realism for me. Quote Link to comment
LifeIsStrange 1,003 Posted January 27, 2022 Share Posted January 27, 2022 8 minutes ago, WiiGuy86 said: I definitely thought about her sister, or even doing flashbacks of Ashley's previous accidents. So many possibilities! Glad you enjoyed. I was conscious of the cell phone thing - but since the original story never really specifies a time period I put it in anyway. So many of the best stories are old and I feel like stories that include references to modern society increase the realism for me. I guess that makes sense. My idea for the sequel was for Ashley to join a secret sorority of women that enjoy wetting themselves for fun and having sex with one another, maybe you could potentially incorporate that into the story? Quote Link to comment
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