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female Is It Just Me Or...


When you are out in public with a large group of people without a bathroom for a while do you start wondering how many have to go to the bathroom and how bad?  

126 members have voted

  1. 1. When you are out in public with a large group of people without a bathroom for a while do you start wondering how many have to go to the bathroom and how bad?

    • No, it's just you...
      16
    • Yes' it's not just you, I regularly find myself wondering...
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When you are in a large group of women or other people who haven't been to the bathroom in a long time at some type of large event, or even just when you are together for a while do you automatically start thinking how many of them have to go to the bathroom and how bad at any given time? Or just when you are out in public in a public place and you wonder how many people happen to be holding at the moment, just statistically speaking. You gotta figure in any large group for a while you must be around at least a few people needing to go, often badly!

I know I sure do, even more so now after my year of holding it my job without a bathroom. Now when I see women outdoors or in any type of situation where there's not a bathroom immediately available I wonder to myself how many of these women are holding on for dear life at a given moment. It's an exciting thought but makes me feel weirder even than usual when thinking of this when I'm out in public.

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@trekkie

I guess you are not alone because rather predictably I suppose that 88% of people who answered the polls so far seem to agree. I suppose asking a question like this in this community is like going to a bunch of fat people and asking who want seconds and dessert when the first meal is over! It sort of a community where you are going to get a heavily biased response LOL.

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It even happens in the company of one other person who I know has not used the bathroom for a considerable time. I start to wonder increasingly what might be developing. Are they getting full?  Are they wanting to ask?  Are they planning to hold?  Are they comfortable with a large capacity or secretly struggling...  You know how it goes.   Or in my office days when a group meeting was dragging on...

Edited by rebeljaffa (see edit history)
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On 1/13/2022 at 9:56 AM, DesperateJill said:

When you are in a large group of women or other people who haven't been to the bathroom in a long time at some type of large event, or even just when you are together for a while do you automatically start thinking how many of them have to go to the bathroom and how bad at any given time? Or just when you are out in public in a public place and you wonder how many people happen to be holding at the moment, just statistically speaking. You gotta figure in any large group for a while you must be around at least a few people needing to go, often badly!

I know I sure do, even more so now after my year of holding it my job without a bathroom. Now when I see women outdoors or in any type of situation where there's not a bathroom immediately available I wonder to myself how many of these women are holding on for dear life at a given moment. It's an exciting thought but makes me feel weirder even than usual when thinking of this when I'm out in public.

I used to go on a lot of dates, and one thing I learned from growing up is that a lot of women are shy, not all of course but many definitely are, and many women I've met were scared of asking. This is more one-on-one though. Often I'd go on dates and we'd be out and about for a while (before COVID), we'd eat dinner out, watch a movie out, driving around, going to the mall, etc. So I'd always ask if she wanted a break to use the restroom after a few hours of being out, it's just my way of being polite because I have a habit of going all day but not everybody can handle that, they can't handle the hustle and bustle, I'll even offer to hold her purse. I grew up with a trucker parent so he'd often take me all over but I know not everyone can handle that kind of lifestyle.

So it's on my mind, but not in a bad way. I can definitely tell there are service workers who had to hold in pee that I feel bad for, but I order my stuff and go on with my day, sometimes they make it very obvious with their fidgeting. I'd see female bartenders drinking along with us during events and I've seen them hobble to the toilets after a few hours, sometimes even with wet patches. 

But I know what you mean Jill. In an old job I used to do a lot of work on a college campus, often I'd take dozens of prospective students on tours and everybody is scared of being judged because they have to be students and they're scared it's going to mess up their application etc even though they're adults and it shouldn't matter. I've learned to always give an opportunity for the groups to use a washroom because again, they're not used to the hustle and bustle lifestyle, they need a break once in a while. I'd tell them "hey there's a restroom there before the next event if you need a break" and I'll see like 5 women sigh with relief saying "oh thank god finally" under their breath.

These tours are more strict than regular college life, in college nobody cares you can use the toilets whenever unless in an exam then you need permission, but on these tours they don't know the college life yet, they'll follow the tours and orientation to the letter without taking a toilet break sadly and if you're giving a tour they want to make sure everyone is safe.

I was a proctor for exams and I noticed the same thing, there will be a 4 hour exam and nobody will ask to use the toilets at first, but only when the first person maybe 2 hours in asks then I'll get loads of people asking to use it. Again, they probably all use the toilets before the exam and don't get the need to use it until a few hours in, but I still think it's like Ashe's conformity tests if you've ever heard of that, people are scared to use it until one finally does. I think this is how groups of women go to the toilets, one will finally break and ask and then they'll all go. Not a bad thing, it's just the way our culture is and I suppose the group of women all using the toilets at once will end up making a line for them. 

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11 hours ago, SoggyShorts said:

Not only do I find myself wondering that . . . .

I also look at what people are wearing, and whenever I see black nylon or polyester or other synthetic materials, I wonder if that person uses them to wet in plain sight without being seen. 

And when I see people wearing clothes that show wetness, such as light blue jeans, I think that they must be confident in their ability to hold it, or have never had an accident. 

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When I was young and a bit shy, I wouldn’t want to be the one in the group to speak up and ask for the bathroom. So I’d be looking at the others and thinking that surely someone else must also be desperate to pee and will speak up first. I’d be checking who had drunk a lot or who showed any signs of desperation and willing them to speak.

Nowadays I’m quite the opposite and will speak up and ask for the bathroom even if I don’t really need to go, just so that the others can have the opportunity to go without being embarrassed to ask. 

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@John

"But I know what you mean Jill. In an old job I used to do a lot of work on a college campus, often I'd take dozens of prospective students on tours and everybody is scared of being judged because they have to be students and they're scared it's going to mess up their application etc even though they're adults and it shouldn't matter. I've learned to always give an opportunity for the groups to use a washroom because again, they're not used to the hustle and bustle lifestyle, they need a break once in a while. I'd tell them "hey there's a restroom there before the next event if you need a break" and I'll see like 5 women sigh with relief saying "oh thank god finally" under their breath."

This actually brought back a memory, and it's hard to believe it was 20 years ago already, but I remember in the summer before I started college they had like an orientation day at night where you could go and they would give you a tour of the college and they would show you all of the places and how things work etc, and I remember that there were a bunch of people smoking on the breaks and they took breaks for everybody to smoke, but they didn't really take a break for the bathroom, and then finally when we all got a chance to go to the bathroom there were lots of people who went charging for the bathroom. I remember that because I really hate smoking and hated inhaling all of the smoke from the students who are smoking and thinking they're stopping for five minutes so that people can have a cigarette break, yet when we going to get a break to go to the damn bathroom?!

I guess it was just another one of those instances where there is the expectation that there won't be a toilet break until the whole thing is over. Once again I think that the reaction of the women is typical in that women are just sort of used to not getting to go to the bathroom and waiting, and when you finally see them get to go to the bathroom we are all greatly relieved, and sometimes even overjoyed, because we have been holding it for so long!

"These tours are more strict than regular college life, in college nobody cares you can use the toilets whenever unless in an exam then you need permission, but on these tours they don't know the college life yet, they'll follow the tours and orientation to the letter without taking a toilet break sadly and if you're giving a tour they want to make sure everyone is safe."

This reminded me that early on when I started college I remember this one girl raised her hand in class and the teacher said that she didn't have to ask permission to go to the bathroom and she said that she didn't know and she looked rather relieved to be able to go to the bathroom.


It also made me think of my friend in college who couldn't even get through like a 50 minute class without going for a bathroom break because her bladder was so small. She had no idea how her shaking and squirming all class long was making me so excited!


But I think that it's sort of a carryover from high school, because in high school and elementary school you always pretty much had to ask permission to go to the bathroom during class if you didn't go between classes. So in college it's just sort of naturally assumed by a lot of people that you have to ask permission, not thinking that your adults and that you're paying to be there so that the teachers don't really care one way or another if you are in the class from the most part or even if you show up to class because it's your money one way or another. And I remember that there were some students who would show up on the first day and the last day and I would be like why did you even take a course like this if you aren't going to come to class?

"I was a proctor for exams and I noticed the same thing, there will be a 4 hour exam and nobody will ask to use the toilets at first, but only when the first person maybe 2 hours in asks then I'll get loads of people asking to use it. Again, they probably all use the toilets before the exam and don't get the need to use it until a few hours in, but I still think it's like Ashe's conformity tests if you've ever heard of that, people are scared to use it until one finally does. I think this is how groups of women go to the toilets, one will finally break and ask and then they'll all go. Not a bad thing, it's just the way our culture is and I suppose the group of women all using the toilets at once will end up making a line for them."

I think it's kind of true, sort of like with the me too movement, all of those women were silent about their abuse for years but then when the first woman starts coming forward than the other women start coming out of the woodwork saying if she is willing to come forward then we are going to support her and get justice for ourselves as well. It's always hard to be the first one because when you are one person against the powerful and the authorities it's kind of hard to stand up to them, but when you have a power of a group behind you once the first person comes forward it's easier to ask demands when you have power in numbers. Justice is if anything a group effort.


But I think that particularly in schools it sort of understood that you aren't allowed to go to the bathroom during class. Teachers generally don't allow students to go to the bathroom during a class, especially during an exam, regardless of the length of the exam, so I think that most probably don't even want to ask the teacher because the teacher will most likely just get annoyed and give them the same response that they should have gone before the exam.


Of course this can be especially cruel because when we had long exams like those Regents exams lasting hours, where we would only have like a brief 15 minute break like half way through and once again because of the large number of women needing to use the bathroom and the limited number of bathrooms available it goes without saying that a large number didn't get to go, and yet despite the fact that they clearly needed the bathroom desperately they will then go back to the exam and sit with their legs crossed squirming for the rest of the exam eagerly awaiting for when it's over. Again women are conditioned to wait and generally do so obediently no matter how uncomfortable we are.


I still remember this because I remember how desperate I was buy some of those exams at the end, and although I was one of those students who tended to finish the exams quickly because I was a good student, not boasting or anything, I was always hoping that we would be able to go to the bathroom but a lot of those exams that make you stay a minimum amount of time before you can leave. I can still remember I had one really easy exam that I finished super quick and I had to go to the bathroom really bad but I wasn't allowed to leave for a minimum of 45 minutes after that so for the next 45 minutes I was pretty much just bouncing up and down in my seat, and I could see that some other girls in the class were doing likewise.


So yeah I do think that sometimes it's hard to be the first person to ask permission but of the first person asks permission and is told no it also tends to be discouraging to other people asking permission because you know the response is going to be the same. Sometimes no matter how many people ask the answer is still no unfortunately, and I think the teachers are generally unsympathetic to students needing to use the bathroom.

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When I was young ,my early teens through my twenties I was too shy to admit I had to pee. Every high school day, I held it all day long, and was very desperate and in pain by time I got home. That was not fun at the time, but later I appreciated my circumstance,because as long as I can remember, I was always interested in people needing to pee.

So, yes to this day I always wonder if people need to pee and better yet are they holding it, perhaps even desperate, maybe even leaking a bit.

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I work with a lot of girls and women. When I see someone going towards the ladie's room I wonder of their current state. Are they casually walking to pee or they hold it till it becomes urgent and they rush towards the toilet trying to look calm and discreet.

I often heard phrases like "I'm dying to pee" or "I'm about to piss myslef" from girls in my life. Many aren't shy about it at all, but some are.

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I'm suddenly remembering a bad memory haha. There was once I was in a college classroom with other students and the instructor was there too.

There was this one building and it was old, maybe from the 1940's and the walls weren't insulated properly. One woman had to go badly to the toilet and for some reason the toilet was right behind the wall with the chalkboard (the room next door).

We heard her sigh audibly and heard everything like the pee hitting the water hard for a full minute before a flush. The instructor even stopped writing for a second then continued again because he was wondering what that noise was until he realized it was just a toilet. In most buildings you'd only hear a loud toilet flushing, but here you could hear everything, it was so terrible.

I suppose in this case it was like wondering how desperate someone in the class was, and it was answered and the answer was pretty badly. Thankfully they restructured the building and made new toilets and closed those old ones.

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Some two close to three years ago, I meet a girl in a group who say something like "We can go to a pub because she need to go to the bathroom".

I ask "Why you didint go in the college?" And she says "she forgot"


That turn me on, she was holding for hours now and acting normal.

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I have a couple of friends who I've noticed will always be the first to go and will go more often than others. It's never been something I "enjoy" in an omorashi sense, I just find it a bit funny, like an inside joke that I only notice because of my interests. It's one of those things I just expect now, but I don't find myself really wondering about when anyone else would have to go.

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