DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 6, 2022 ✨ Legendary Member Popular Post Share Posted January 6, 2022 I actually thought of this story recently when I watched the excellent political satire science fiction disaster movie Don't Look up. It showed how stupidity and irrationality tended to take over politics when we are facing a crisis, but the whole time I was watching the incompetent president deal with the crisis of the asteroid that was going to strike the earth, I sort of got this idea that it would be kind of fun seeing her desperate to pee, and then and from that I thought of this story about a female president trying to address the end of the world while fighting with her own ready to explode bladder with the two situations basically paralleling each other in terms of personal versus global crisis, and I am very pleased with how it turned out. I think that it also works a little bit as a political satire about women in politics, but I always thought to myself that female politicians probably had to have bladders of steel, seeing as they were often dealing with the public and often didn't get a moment in enough to even relieve themselves, and I thought that would be particularly terrible for a female president, who obviously doesn't want to stain her reputation, no pun intended, by being the politician who pissed herself in a crisis. But all in all I am especially pleased with this story as I think it was one of my better funnier desperation stories in general in a while and I hope you all enjoy it as well. A Very Desperate President Addresses the End of the World President Florence had drank a bit too much at her national security meeting that morning and found that she was desperately in need of a bathroom as quickly as possible. "Who knew that being a president would be so busy that I wouldn't even be able to take a piss," President Florence said under her breath, as she desperately looked around for a bathroom. Unfortunately all of the bathrooms in the halls of government seemed like they were like every other women's bathroom on the planet, with a long line in front of it, and she couldn't exactly claim executive privilege to use the bathroom without seeming like a bitch and without it being headline news. "Madam President we have a major emergency that needs your immediate attention," her national security advisor said as she started inching her way towards the bathroom line. "Can it wait just a moment, or maybe five minutes at the absolute most," she said as she crossed her legs under her skirt and looked longingly at the bathroom line. "Mdm. President this is the most urgent matter of national security that I may ever give to you, whatever it is it can wait." "Well I'm not so sure about that," she said as her national security advisor took her into a small room and sat her down on a couch, where she quickly crossed her legs tightly and began shaking her foot nervously. "Well come on let's get on with it, if this is the most serious thing I'm going to have to deal with in my presidency let's at least get it over with quickly as possible, cause if it can't wait let's get on with it!" Her national security advisor started playing a video of what looked like outerspace and what looked like some type of asteroid or a comet. "Mdm. President the news has just broken that a comet that we call a planet destroyer is on a collision course with the planet and the nation is waiting for you to address them on this matter." "How long do we have until this planet destroying asteroid or whatever is going to strike the planet and kill us all?" "According to the best estimates of our best scientists they estimate that it's going to hit the planet in about two years, three months and five days." "Okay two years, that is some time, and right now I could just use two minutes to compose myself and just give me a moment," she said as she started getting up to excuse herself to the bathroom. "But Mdm. President this is the most important news in the entire history of mankind, the press is going to want you to go to a press conference immediately." "Absolutely, I will immediately hold a press conference on this breaking news, I just have some matters of state, some very important business that I have to attend to." "Mdm. President could be more important than the breaking news that all life on earth is going to be wiped out in two years and we don't have the slightest clue how we are going to stop it?" President Florence was now struggling not to make it obvious that she was crossing her legs and tapping her feet impatiently. "It's top-secret, something that even you aren't entitled to know about, now out of my way I have to take care of it and then I will immediately address, you know the freaking potential end of life on the planet." President Florence walked out into the hallway and saw that the line to the ladies room looked like it had cleared up a bit, as her national security advisor was herself running to the bathroom. President Florence was about to follow her to the bathroom but as she started walking towards the ladies room that was when a barrage of press started coming and blocking her way. "Mdm. President we need a statement right now," they said as they started taking pictures and thrusting microphones in her face. Right now she had to pee so bad that she could barely think clearly and know how to address the situation. If she didn't get to a bathroom soon she was going to find herself in a really embarrassing situation, as the last thing that a worried nation and planet needed was to see their President piss herself on national television at the news of the worst catastrophe in the history of the world being imminent. "Mdm. President there are some who are saying that a huge explosion could divert the course of this comet from the planet, what do you think about the idea of making a huge explosion?" one of the reporters said. "I think that the idea of making a huge explosion is a really great idea, I would love to make a huge explosion," she said as she pressed her thighs together in an attempt to take some of the pressure off of her bladder. "According to scientists the comet is mostly made up of a tremendous amount of liquid ice and water, it is a wet one, so do you think a big explosion would be enough to break up all of that ice and water and liquid flowing off it's surface," the next reporter said. As President Florence thought of that comet giving off all of that water ice liquid she could only think about how she would like to be doing the exact same thing at that moment as she struggled her hardest not to make it obvious that she was bending at the knees. "I think that right now a big explosion might be the best possible solution to this problem," President Florence said, her eyes still looking over in the distance at the bathroom that was being blocked by the horde of press and media. "Mdm. President why do you keep looking off in the distance, is your mind elsewhere," one of the reporters said noticing that she was looking over in the direction of the bathroom as her national security divisor came out with a look on her face of incredible relief as she wiped away sweat from her forehead. At least she got to relieve herself, she probably was in a rush to brief the president for similar reasons that the president was, to get herself to a bathroom as quickly as possible! "She's looking at her national security advisor, maybe her national security advisor know something," everybody said as they started storming her security advisor. She thought if only she could find some way to get to the bathroom with made it making it obvious that that's what she was trying to do the whole time, but as the press blocked her way she realized that she wasn't going to be getting to going to that particular bathroom anytime soon. "Mdm. President we are waiting your state of the union address, a worried nation knows that you have to address this question right away," somebody said grabbing her by the hand and leading her towards the podium where she would address the nation. "But there's something else I have to do right away as well," President Florence said as everybody looked at her until she realized that she gave it away and had better think of something to save with so that she wouldn't lose face in the situation. "And by that I mean of course I have to pray to God that he will protect our country in this time of need because there is nothing a nation needs more than faith." She fingered the cross around her neck and gave a smile and a thumbs-up as people began taking pictures as she struggled not to be shaking at the legs with how badly she had to go to the bathroom. "Mdm. President I have nothing against people of faith, but I think in light of the mounting threat that this comet poses we should be pressing our trust in the scientists to save us from this disaster," one of the reporters said. "I think that under the circumstances that we need more than just useless platitude like thoughts and prayers." "Of course, science has done really great things in this world and I have every amount of faith in our scientists to solve this problem," President Florence said as she thought that science still hadn't designed a female bathroom that could be used efficiently in a time of need, and that once this apocalypse was taken care of she knew that she was going to be passing some other legislation through Congress to that effect. As she was forced in front of the podium at least she could hide behind that and hide the fact that her legs were shaking and that she could barely stand still. She figured she had better read the statement that had been prepared for her to reassure the American people. And she knew it was against her better instincts, but she drank down the glass of water at the podium that had been provided for her because her mouth had gotten dry with all of the anxiety of being both desperate to go to the bathroom and learning about the imminent end of the world just moments before. "My American people, we have a grave crisis and an emergency right now," she said thinking about the emergency that was going on between her legs more than she was about the comet that still wouldn't be colliding with the earth for at least another two years, which seemed less urgent to her than her own urgent need at the moment. She tried her best to focus on that matter at hand but her bladder was screaming out to her like she couldn't even imagine. She couldn't remember the last time she had to go to the bathroom this bad, it was probably on the campaign trail when she found it really hard to find a moment just to take a piss. A woman in politics really did need to have a bladder of steel, among other things. "And according to scientists if we do not divert the course of this asteroid, I mean comet, it's going to make a huge splashdown in the Pacific Ocean with huge waves of water that will be washing over everything for hundreds of miles, flushing away tons of farmland and cities," she said as her eyes were struggling not to water as she thought of all of that water being displaced by the comet. "Flushing away cities and farmland," she repeated, and the words were like agony to her at that moment. She knew was against her better instincts, but she drank the next cup of water that had been provided for her and somehow managed to finish her epic speech to the country. She knew that the body language that she was giving off probably gave away the fact that she had to go to the bathroom, but then she thought to herself maybe under the stress of the situation they would think it was just natural stress from the fact that the apocalypse was looming. Either way she figured that she could be forgiven for being a little bit antsy under the circumstances of learning of the perhaps imminent demise of the human race. When she finally finished her speech she was about ready to piss herself, but she knew if she pissed herself that nobody would take her seriously as keeping her cool in a crisis situation. Literally the last thing any American president wanted to do was to piss themselves at the news of an emergency, but right now the main emergency was in her pants, and if she didn't get to a bathroom immediately it was going to be a bigger catastrophe than the end of the world, because for her it would be the end of the world, or at least the end of her political career. People would end up calling her President pissy pants or something like that, and that's if she was lucky given the deterioration and partisanship of the current political climate. Congress really wasn't all that much different than a bunch of third-graders, except a bunch of third-graders tended to be more mature about bathroom issues. As soon as the press conference was over she slowly started hobbling into the hallway where she saw that the line to the ladies room was now astonishingly long and there was no chance that she was going to be able to use it. For a moment she felt like claiming executive privilege, and that's when she said screw it, some things come first and right now she was looking out for number one, literally! "Everybody clear out we have to secure this area," President Florence said as everybody got off of the line to the bathroom. As she cleared the area out she was about to use the bathroom but then she realized that by declaring an emergency situation now she couldn't use that bathroom either without it looking suspicious. She painfully crossed her legs together and Secret Service agents came and took her to a secret underground bunker where she finally managed to sit down on the toilet and let loose as she moaned with relief. As she came out of the bathroom with a smile on her face she shook her head. "Now that's proof that an explosion can really solve a problem!" Luckily for President Florence the fact that she looked nervous during the press conference actually gave her more political capital, as people said that it humanized her to see the president so visibly distressed by the news of the end of the world, little did they know what she was really distressed about, about how the opposition called her a desperate looking president looking for relief from the current situation, so maybe they weren't all that far off after all. Of course the end of the world was terrible, but when your bladder is full even the end of the world can wait. Fortunately the geniuses at NASA were able to find a way to deflect the comet from destroying the earth, even if it was an expensive mission. But using her political capital she figured she would now do the thing that the American people had wanted for the longest time, or at least she knew that she wanted it for the longest time. "And now we will vote on Senate Bill 654, a bill that would provide for greater numbers of female restrooms in all government buildings in Washington DC," Sen. Snyder said as he put it to a vote. When the vote came back and failed to pass President Florence shook her head as she realized that spending so much money on new bathrooms after the ludicrous amount of spending that went into preventing the comet from destroying the earth would not go over well with Congress, which was overwhelmingly a bunch of stodgy old conservative men who didn't quite see it as urgent as the president did, probably because none of them ever had to wait on line for the bathroom during a moment of national crisis. "Well you win some you lose some, I guess we all have to make sacrifices for our nation," President Florence said as she crossed her legs, took an agonizing glance towards the direction of the ladies room and walked past it has she prepared to address the nation once again. And the worst thing was that as torturous as it was to her to address the end of the world with a full bladder, she thought that it was probably a piece of cake compared to having to now address the greatest bursting of a dam disaster and subsequent flooding of the city of Flushing in the history of the nation. markurinerj, AlwaysOmo, Leaky Bunnie and 4 others 5 1 1 Quote Link to comment
rebeljaffa 562 Posted January 6, 2022 Share Posted January 6, 2022 It's sometimes still said that some politicians and public speakers use a full bladder to help to focus them. Great writing as always! AlwaysOmo and DesperateJill 2 Quote Link to comment
DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 6, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted January 6, 2022 Although this precise story was inspired by the movie that I saw the other day it's an idea that I've had sort of for a while now. I have really wondered how often politicians, particularly female politicians, end up holding it due to a lack of options. I'm pretty sure I had a story on my list that I never got around to writing that involved a female politician with a full bladder debating a male politician with no such handicap! Maybe one of the days I will get around to writing that one as well. Something about combining bathroom stuff with politics just seems like a natural fit. It also reminded me how during the 2016 election in the United States people commented on the fact that Hillary Clinton had to use the bathroom, as though it's still sort of a crazy thing the idea that a female politician also urinates just like everybody else! And I forgot to mention it in my first post but as always you can also read the story in my blog at https://desperatejill83.livejournal.com/8804.html rebeljaffa 1 Quote Link to comment
markurinerj 62 Posted January 8, 2022 Share Posted January 8, 2022 I wanna see more of this. Give us more desperate President. That'd be cool. Quote Link to comment
DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 8, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted January 8, 2022 @markurinerj "I wanna see more of this. Give us more desperate President. That'd be cool." There could be the possibility of that in the future as I always wanted to explore the idea of a politician experiencing desperation frequently on the campaign trail, and combining political satire with desperation is an intriguing idea, so I wouldn't entirely rule it out. AlwaysOmo and markurinerj 2 Quote Link to comment
Lapis Lazuli 213 Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Let me guess. Don't Look Up? Quote Link to comment
Antispam 307 Posted January 10, 2022 Share Posted January 10, 2022 Odd thing but why does this blog have the "warning may have 18+ content" , yet your old one didnt? Cant you just set your blog as safe or something Quote Link to comment
DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 10, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted January 10, 2022 @Lapis Lazuli "Let me guess. Don't Look Up?" Yes I mentioned in my introduction that seeing that movie inspired me to write this story as I thought to out while watching that what if the president was desperate to go to the bathroom! @Antispam "Odd thing but why does this blog have the "warning may have 18+ content" , yet your old one didnt? Cant you just set your blog as safe or something" I'm pretty sure that my other blog also was listed as adult content because both of them have lots of naked pictures of them that I include with each update. Pus both are kind of about omorashi fetishism. Lapis Lazuli 1 Quote Link to comment
Antispam 307 Posted January 11, 2022 Share Posted January 11, 2022 (edited) 17 hours ago, DesperateJill said: @Lapis Lazuli "Let me guess. Don't Look Up?" Yes I mentioned in my introduction that seeing that movie inspired me to write this story as I thought to out while watching that what if the president was desperate to go to the bathroom! @Antispam "Odd thing but why does this blog have the "warning may have 18+ content" , yet your old one didnt? Cant you just set your blog as safe or something" I'm pretty sure that my other blog also was listed as adult content because both of them have lots of naked pictures of them that I include with each update. Pus both are kind of about omorashi fetishism. https://web.archive.org/web/20220110055149/https://desperatejill.livejournal.com/ Vs https://web.archive.org/web/20220110055519/https://desperatejill83.livejournal.com/ Edited January 11, 2022 by Antispam (see edit history) Quote Link to comment
DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 11, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted January 11, 2022 @Antispam Why are yo using it through the web archive instead of just going through the direct links? I don't really have control over whether it's designated as adult content as one day I just got an email saying that my blog has been designated as adult, I guess whoever runs LiveJournal decides not the person who owns the Journal. Quote Link to comment
The Shark 255 Posted January 12, 2022 Share Posted January 12, 2022 Lol it’s omorashi content. It’s all adult based stuff. Idk what anti spam is getting on about. Dumb drama. anyway- WOW I loved that story! Seriously it’s very well written and first PERFECTLY into the lore of Dont Look up. Your descriptions were wonderful. I only wished she had wet herself at the end but that’s my personal preference. I would love to see some continuation of politicians in desperate situations. It’s definitely something that probably happens more than we know. Quote Link to comment
Lapis Lazuli 213 Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 Huh. I thought you just said it was inspired by a movie you saw recently. Guess I'm going insane LMAO Quote Link to comment
DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 13, 2022 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted January 13, 2022 @The Shark "Lol it’s omorashi content. It’s all adult based stuff. Idk what anti spam is getting on about. Dumb drama." True it is basically a fetish website even if I talk about bathroom related matters in a serious non-fetish related way often. But the focus is basically omorashi so it was always adult content pretty much from the beginning, but until I started including all of those pictures I didn't get an email telling me that my site had been designated as adult content, so I think that as long as it's just writing they don't make as big of a deal about it. But I had been posting pictures like that in both of my blog for pretty much the longest time, so I guess maybe it just didn't get flagged as adult until maybe somebody lodged a complaint or something, I don't know how it works, but I just know that one day I got an email to saying that my blog was designated as adult content and it has been for a pretty long time so it's not like it was something new. "anyway- WOW I loved that story! Seriously it’s very well written and first PERFECTLY into the lore of Dont Look up. Your descriptions were wonderful. I only wished she had wet herself at the end but that’s my personal preference. I would love to see some continuation of politicians in desperate situations. It’s definitely something that probably happens more than we know." Glad you liked it, I think stories like this come to be more naturally because under my own name I write lots of post-apocalyptic dystopia, so I think it was probably inevitable that someday I would combine that with desperation as I do with basically every topic that interests me, I usually sometimes eventually find some way to make it about women needing to pee. The inspiration came when I was watching that movie and I saw the president and I just kept picturing what if she needed to pee or something like that during a crisis, and then I thought that that would be the absolute worst time to be desperate to pee, where you are trying to show that you are not nervous and that you have strong firm resolve, so I thought that a president trying to display strength would have to also then deal with the anxiety of a full bladder and while people think that her anxiety is naturally about the apocalypse the funny part is that the reader knows it's because she has to go to the bathroom! I'm pretty much exclusively into desperation so I usually don't include wetting in my stories, and I figured that the whole point of the story was that her challenge was not to wet herself and make it look like she was pissing herself in fear so if she ended up wetting herself it would pretty much be like she failed in her struggle. I kind of like it when women just make it at the very end or where it leaves off without their relief being certain one way or another. @Lapis Lazuli "Huh. I thought you just said it was inspired by a movie you saw recently. Guess I'm going insane LMAO" Nope I named it by name in my intro where I said "I actually thought of this story recently when I watched the excellent political satire science fiction disaster movie Don't Look up." Maybe the confusion comes by the fact that although it was that particular movie that inspired this particular story that it was an idea that I have had for a while, the idea of politicians being in desperate situations. In fact it's something I have wondered for a long time going back to when Hillary Clinton needed to use the bathroom during the 2016 presidential debates, and that really got me thinking that there are probably a lot of situations where women in politics have to pee. In fact even goes back before that where I read about how in 2010 that they didn't have a ladies bathroom on the Senate floor and they had to use the bathroom with the visitors and I just thought that even in the halls of government with the most powerful people in the world even their women still have to wait to go to the bathroom. And I figured the politicians on a campaign trail would probably be another one of those additions that would go along with my other thread about worst jobs for women needing to pee. And I did mention that I had another story that I had a long time for for this that I never got around to writing that would involve people having a debate where the woman was desperate and the male politician was not and she had to deal with that added pressure of a full bladder, literal pressure! And then I had another one that I was going to make novella length treatment of involving poop desperation involving a world where some women do the pooping for everyone and a politician tries to hide the fact that she is a pooper, but what she doesn't know is that her candidate who is against people who poop also is a pooper but is hiding it and is a hypocrite about it! So yeah while this story was a new idea the idea of female politicians desperate has been on my mind a long time! Quote Link to comment
AlwaysOmo 148 Posted January 13, 2022 Share Posted January 13, 2022 Loved this story! This was my first time reading any of your fictional works, and needless to say you exceeded my already high expectations. Love what you did with this concept and the dialog is superb! I've thought about the idea of politicians being desperate before, as I'm sure it happens very frequently. But on top of the types of situations they find themselves in with no oppurtunity to go to the bathroom, they must also remain totally professional, lest they risk their career/reputation. I have toyed with this idea a bit in my own writing, but never in a situation like this one! I may have to take some inspiration for my next project. Well done! DesperateJill 1 Quote Link to comment
Antispam 307 Posted January 14, 2022 Share Posted January 14, 2022 On 1/11/2022 at 7:00 AM, DesperateJill said: @Antispam Why are yo using it through the web archive instead of just going through the direct links? I don't really have control over whether it's designated as adult content as one day I just got an email saying that my blog has been designated as adult, I guess whoever runs LiveJournal decides not the person who owns the Journal. Just confused me why it was being skewed and would show one but not the other Quote Link to comment
JD0417 114 Posted January 11, 2023 Share Posted January 11, 2023 2 things 1. Is there more to it? Because it seems like there’s more to it and it didn’t have a conclusive ending And 2? What’s the movie? Quote Link to comment
DesperateJill 3,789 Posted January 11, 2023 Author ✨ Legendary Member Share Posted January 11, 2023 @JD0417 "2 things 1. Is there more to it? Because it seems like there’s more to it and it didn’t have a conclusive ending And 2? What’s the movie?" This was the full story although a lot of my stories end on sort of a situation where the character doesn't get relief so it could be mistakenly assumed to be open-ended. And the movie that inspired it was Don't Look up available on Netflix. Quote Link to comment
JD0417 114 Posted January 12, 2023 Share Posted January 12, 2023 23 hours ago, DesperateJill said: @JD0417 "2 things 1. Is there more to it? Because it seems like there’s more to it and it didn’t have a conclusive ending And 2? What’s the movie?" This was the full story although a lot of my stories end on sort of a situation where the character doesn't get relief so it could be mistakenly assumed to be open-ended. And the movie that inspired it was Don't Look up available on Netflix. Ok well thanks for the name of the movie and for future reference I prefer stories with conclusive endings Quote Link to comment
JD0417 114 Posted January 13, 2023 Share Posted January 13, 2023 On 1/11/2023 at 2:09 PM, DesperateJill said: @JD0417 "2 things 1. Is there more to it? Because it seems like there’s more to it and it didn’t have a conclusive ending And 2? What’s the movie?" This was the full story although a lot of my stories end on sort of a situation where the character doesn't get relief so it could be mistakenly assumed to be open-ended. And the movie that inspired it was Don't Look up available on Netflix. Ok so I just looked up the movie and I’m imagining JLAW as the very desperate president Quote Link to comment
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