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non-binary Should I pee on the carpet before it gets cleaned?


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I got an unexpected call from a carpet cleaning company the other day — apparently, my landlord has put a work order in for a carpet cleaning. I've always thought the idea of peeing on carpet is super hot: It seems much naughtier than peeing on a non-absorbent surface, and watching the puddle soak in? Delicious. However, I've never been bold enough to try it. I don't want my carpet to stink, of course, or get permanently stained — and I definitely don't want to get stuck with a carpet replacement bill when I move out.

But what if I peed on the carpet shortly before the cleaner arrived? I could hit the puddle with some enzymatic cleaner (which I keep on hand in case of pet-related mishaps) and soak up as much as I can with towels. I'm sure the cleaner wouldn't notice a slight damp spot (and I could always claim to have spilled something or cleaned up cat puke if they did). And if the carpet gets shampooed immediately, there's basically no chance of a smell or damage, right?

So, should I? Dare I? And should I film it if I do? 

 

Edited by X_cristatus
Accidentally posted prematurely (see edit history)
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  • The title was changed to Should I pee on the carpet before it gets cleaned?
3 hours ago, liesjeversteven said:

I'd have a moral problem with it. Even if you're gonna kind of sort of clean the carpet before the cleaners arrive, you're still saddling up an unwilling participant with the consequences of your actions.

They're being paid to clean the carpet regardless, will not be in direct contact with pee (enzymatic cleaner is not "kinda" cleaning, it's just cleaning?), and would have no way of distinguishing any remaining damp spots from melted snow on the floor or a spilled drink or whatever. The whole carpet's gonna be damp by the time they're done, after all. They're not getting saddled with anything, best I can figure.

I'm morally opposed to making a mess in public spaces, sure, but I'm having a hard time seeing a moral objection to this.  Like, I've had sex on the floor before; surely that doesn't make paying for a carpet clean immoral?

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I would be very careful, personally I wouldn't do it because it's not my carpet, but the cleaners have likely cleaned up much worse things than pee that has already been cleaned up. I would cover the carpet with a thick towel so there is less pee for you and the cleaner to deal with. I would also make sure to really scrub the carpet with pet stain remover and a scrub brush. Also, the cleaning people will tell your landlord how dirty the carpet was when they cleaned it and they will charge extra if there are any traces of bodily fluids. Your landlord won't be pleased if they receive extra charges for dealing with pee. I would just make sure you leave no trace so you don't get charged for the cleaning.

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58 minutes ago, MaleOmoFan94 said:

I would be very careful, personally I wouldn't do it because it's not my carpet, but the cleaners have likely cleaned up much worse things than pee that has already been cleaned up. I would cover the carpet with a thick towel so there is less pee for you and the cleaner to deal with. I would also make sure to really scrub the carpet with pet stain remover and a scrub brush. Also, the cleaning people will tell your landlord how dirty the carpet was when they cleaned it and they will charge extra if there are any traces of bodily fluids. Your landlord won't be pleased if they receive extra charges for dealing with pee. I would just make sure you leave no trace so you don't get charged for the cleaning.

Useful tip, thanks!

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Hmm, I feel really split on this. I can definitely see the argument of people who are saying this could be immoral. I'm always very serious about not involving unwitting bystanders in any sort of kink/fetish activity. However, in this case, it's literally the carpet cleaner's job to clean carpet, and it's quite common for all manner of things to get spilled on carpet/rugs, especially if pets and/or small children are around. I worked in a couple of preschools, and I've scrubbed and steam cleaned my fair share of rugs. 

I guess I would still err on the side of no, though. I can definitely see how it's extremely tempting to fulfill this fantasy, but it is true that it's not your carpet, and if you really open the floodgates, it could even soak into the foam beneath the carpet. If you can somehow mitigate the damage, like putting a towel down to soak up most of it, then maybe, but that might ruin the fantasy of actually wetting the carpet?

Maybe, if you can afford it, you can get a rug that you use for the express purpose of wetting so that you can still live out this fantasy. That rug probably wouldn't last very long before it got super gross and had to be thrown out, though, but it would let you achieve your dreams, lol. 

Anyway, that's my two cents. 🙂

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3 hours ago, PrincessInTheP said:

Peeing on carpet sounds AMAZING. If it's a lot of liquid it saturates quickly and then it gets very loud and splashy. 

I once lost it while trying to get into my hotel room ( I'm horrible with keys/licks, it's laughable) and the sound was phenomenal.

Omg, I would have loved to have seen that! I'm 🥵 just thinking about it. 

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12 hours ago, slothmallow said:

 

I guess I would still err on the side of no, though. I can definitely see how it's extremely tempting to fulfill this fantasy, but it is true that it's not your carpet, and if you really open the floodgates, it could even soak into the foam beneath the carpet. If you can somehow mitigate the damage, like putting a towel down to soak up most of it, then maybe, but that might ruin the fantasy of actually wetting the carpet?

Tbh, though I fantasize about making a big puddle, for practical purposes I was thinking more along the lines of just a few little squirts. (Which I probably should've specified in my original post, but oh well.)

Edited by X_cristatus (see edit history)
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I would go for it! However, if it were me, I would do it a few days in advance so that when the carpet people got there, everything was already dry and clean.

 

I agree that peeing on a carpet/absorbent material is a fantastic feeling. When I was younger, I would just use a bunch of blankets and miscellaneous towels to wet myself on right before I did my laundry so my mom never noticed. Now that I have my own apartment, I like using a memory foam bath mat. They are super absorbent, cheep, and they can go right into the washer.

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I don't find anything wrong with it at all and say do it.  In fact, I'd start now and do it several times before Tuesday.  One, you have to try just sitting naked on the floor, and peeing.  Another, probably clothes but standing so you can hear the sounds and feel it on your feet.  Then you will probably want more, lol.  The cleaners are used to getting pee out and likely won't have any clue.  They use a giant want and always wear gloves anyway.

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20 minutes ago, Redd said:

I don't find anything wrong with it at all and say do it.  In fact, I'd start now and do it several times before Tuesday.  One, you have to try just sitting naked on the floor, and peeing.  Another, probably clothes but standing so you can hear the sounds and feel it on your feet.  Then you will probably want more, lol.  The cleaners are used to getting pee out and likely won't have any clue.  They use a giant want and always wear gloves anyway.

Nah, too much of a risk of stains/a smell for my taste.

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Given it's not your carpet (as sexy as it would be and if you do it, definitely film it) I have to be honest and say I would advise against it. 

Several years ago I was dating a girl who didn't have a fetish for omo but got really turned on by how much it turned me on. She'd not been aware of my fetish for that long at the time and didn't yet feel comfortable wetting the bed but wanted to wet herself on me whilst we were having sex. So we decided to do it on the carpeted floor thinking that was the more sensible idea. Whilst she was riding me, she lifted off put her underwear back over herself and peed all over my dick through her panties. Now it was incredibly sexy, but despite the fact we cleaned it very thoroughly immediately, it began to smell within a day so we cleaned again and again but couldn't get rid of the smell. Granted we didn't have professional cleaners in and eventually the smell did go but it took a long time. 

If you've got a long time left in your house and don't have people over at all & don't mind that it will smell yourself for a bit then go for it, it should be fine eventually but if anyone comes over they will notice a bad smell. 

It's a hot experience but theres a lot cleaner things you can do with the fetish, but that's just my experience 🙂

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The only problems I really see about it is your carpet is probably composed of an upper carpet layer, then a lower layer of foam, and whatever kind of flooring you have underneath that.  The carpet layer being the easiest to clean, their cleaner might work well for that, but the lower layer of foam might take extra time or money to even start cleaning, consider it like a big thin sponge under all of your carpet, especially if no one knows what happened.  Then if it's untreated wood under that then the smell can and will soak in and then you or someone else might have to deal with the smell for a long time until that part of the flooring is replaced. 

 

I had an old house where that was a major problem after years of cats and dogs peeing in random spots from time to time, and yeah the carpet cleaner with pet shampoo didn't do a damn thing to it after a certain point.  Still though I see how it could be a big turn on so if it were me I'd try to soak up most of it in a towel or something over the carpet and then some could still get in the carpet but maybe not enough that it should soak in with a deep and wide puddle.  Then I would just soak up whatever was in the carpet with another towel and then use some good cleaners and vinegar for the carpet to get rid of as much of the smell as possible

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