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...And also exceptional research scientists who can't take care of themselves.

This thread is primarily for autistic people to write about their experiences.  The experiences may involve, but are not limited to, online autistic trait sites, difficulty recognizing people, difficu

@Stanley79 "How are family gatherings for you?" I am comfortable around family because I know them and my family are pretty much the only people I ever see really as I have no social life, a

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My Thanksgiving gathering was small this time. I invited an autistic friend who doesn't have family in my city to spend time with mine and it was fun. I'm hoping we can make it a regular thing. I find I feel more comfortable to have someone there who I don't feel like I'm performing for, as much as I love my cousins and such.

(Also, I find that most of my friends were girls, just as Jill and Silvermoon find they spent a lot of time with the boys... I wonder if many opposite sex friendships are a common autistic thing. Though among my family, I found both sexes to be equally weird growing up... lol.)

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On 11/26/2021 at 4:38 PM, silvermoon said:

I wasn't aware until she said something, and I didn't care either way. It's just underwear.

Ms. @silvermoon you are the first person who expressed the attitude about how to sit while wearing a skirt was no big deal; exposing your panties was no big deal because it’s just underwear. I had always been one to try to see up a girl’s skirt. I was a college prof and had a class in which one woman always sat in my direct line of sight, wearing a skirt and keeping her legs spread showing me her panties. Sometimes it was difficult to maintain a professional demeanor and keep my focus on the subject at hand. 

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7 hours ago, scinosensation said:

Ms. @silvermoon you are the first person who expressed the attitude about how to sit while wearing a skirt was no big deal; exposing your panties was no big deal because it’s just underwear. I had always been one to try to see up a girl’s skirt. I was a college prof and had a class in which one woman always sat in my direct line of sight, wearing a skirt and keeping her legs spread showing me her panties. Sometimes it was difficult to maintain a professional demeanor and keep my focus on the subject at hand. 

It just seems like such a trivial thing to worry about. My mind is already occupied with enough things as it is.

It's something my male friends like to do to, though I could never understand it, nor could they adequately explain it.

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1 hour ago, silvermoon said:

It just seems like such a trivial thing to worry about. My mind is already occupied with enough things as it is.

It's something my male friends like to do to, though I could never understand it, nor could they adequately explain it.

Please make no mistake; I’m very impressed with your attitude. IMHO the world would be a better place if your attitude were the norm. 

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6 hours ago, Stanley79 said:

The difference between exposing swimming suit bottoms and panties eludes me.  However,  a while back RachelKirwan discussed sitting with her panties visible while drinking chai in a coffee house.  So it does get mentioned here.

It eludes me as well. I don't think there's a proper explanation, either. As far as I know, the only significant difference is material used in manufacture. There were some members of my high school's swimming team who wore their swimsuits as underwear on days of swim meets, but those were one-pieces, not bikinis.

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On 11/26/2021 at 6:40 AM, silvermoon said:

My grandmother thought it was inappropriate for a girl to be talking about "masculine pursuits" (video games and computers).

 

On 11/26/2021 at 6:58 AM, DesperateJill said:

Video games and computers were the main thing that I did with my cousins all the time.

 

On 11/26/2021 at 11:52 AM, LizJWetting said:

I don't think I've ever been, or really wanted to be "ladylike". I've often found it easier to get along with guys, boyish stuff seemed more fun, and I never felt particularly feminine.

And now women who developed technological interests have engineering and managerial employment.  I've worked under women engineers and managers.  One was very demotivating.  The others were among the best. 

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I wish all of us autistic omo types could, like, meet somewhere once a week just to talk about stuff, omo and not-omo related. We'd all also have various sensory toys, visual and otherwise, for ourselves. I'd have that screen saver I couldn't tear myself away from at times and clocks that move just so, while there'd be a fan going at just the right speed for @silvermoon, for example.

There would, however, be plenty of our favorite things to drink, and for those of us with gut issues, all our favorite "that tastes great, but I'd better know exactly where I'm gonna be twenty minutes after I eat it, or else!" foods, and just one bathroom. 😉

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@trekkie

"(Also, I find that most of my friends were girls, just as Jill and Silvermoon find they spent a lot of time with the boys... I wonder if many opposite sex friendships are a common autistic thing. Though among my family, I found both sexes to be equally weird growing up... lol.)"

I think it's just that people on the spectrum tend to be more prone to gender atypical behavior and less aware of typical social rules relating to these matters and don't care as much about those things. In my case I mostly hung out with the boys simply because I mostly hung out with my cousin and his friends who were all guys because I wasn't really great about making my own friends when I was younger and just sort of hung out with whoever happen to be around and they made friends with me rather than the other way around.


I always thought that everybody man or woman in my family that was rather boring and not very intellectually stimulating other than my cousins who were my own age. I can honestly say almost everyone I know over the age of 40 is overly conservative and holds views that I find repellent so I'm not really eager to talk to them to any great degree.


This year I didn't really do anything for Thanksgiving because my cousin was feeling really sick with diarrhea from his chemotherapy and I was feeling incredibly tired that day as I wasn't used to leaving the house during the afternoon since I haven't done that since Covid began, but hopefully I will make Christmas which will make it to full years since I have seen anyone in my family.

@Stanley79

"The difference between exposing swimming suit bottoms and panties eludes me.  However,  a while back RachelKirwan discussed sitting with her panties visible while drinking chai in a coffee house.  So it does get mentioned here."

This is something I never understood either how some women will be extremely embarrassed about being seen in their underwear and yet they don't have a problem being seen in a bikini, as I feel that a bikini is basically the same thing as underwear except more water resistant and meant to get wet. It's just as revealing at any rate.


It's weird in that I feel self-conscious at the idea of wearing a bikini so I have always worn one-piece bathing suits, and yet if somebody had seen my underwear exposed it wouldn't really bother me, but I'm often rather oblivious. My dad is often yelling at me that my ass crack is sometimes exposed and he doesn't know how I cannot be noticing that, but I think that a lot of people on the spectrum are oblivious to a lot of these things, where we don't notice things that a lot of other people would be appalled if somebody had seen them in that state. I think there is some degree of social obliviousness that goes along with it.

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1 hour ago, DesperateJill said:

In my case I mostly hung out with the boys simply because I mostly hung out with my cousin and his friends who were all guys because I wasn't really great about making my own friends when I was younger and just sort of hung out with whoever happen to be around and they made friends with me rather than the other way around.

Pretty much the same thing with me, except it was my brother rather than my cousin. And I didn't make any friends in the religious private school, but once I started going to public school I gravitated towards the boys on the playground, who would often have intellectual conversations about before beginning their games (unlike the girls), and then in junior high they put everyone with any form of autism in the same special homeroom as those with learning disabilities, which is where I met most of the friends I still have today, though there are a few from earlier.

2 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

It's weird in that I feel self-conscious at the idea of wearing a bikini so I have always worn one-piece bathing suits, and yet if somebody had seen my underwear exposed it wouldn't really bother me, but I'm often rather oblivious.

I get called that sometimes, oblivious. Often alongside "sweet summer child", whatever that means. I feel self-conscious with any swimsuit, not just bikinis, though I'd happily stand there in my underwear and have a full conversation with someone if they were so inclined to do so. I typically wear bikinis, though. Once I put a one-piece on, I always need help taking it off. My brain simply refuses, or maybe it can't, figure out how to take it off. Same thing happened with overalls.

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@silvermoon

"Pretty much the same thing with me, except it was my brother rather than my cousin. And I didn't make any friends in the religious private school, but once I started going to public school I gravitated towards the boys on the playground, who would often have intellectual conversations about before beginning their games (unlike the girls), and then in junior high they put everyone with any form of autism in the same special homeroom as those with learning disabilities, which is where I met most of the friends I still have today, though there are a few from earlier."

I think pretty much every friend that I have ever had made friends with me rather than me initiating things as I never really initiate anything with anyone except maybe on the Internet. I was always shy and socially awkward and sort of antisocial and I probably only had maybe one friend that I was close to at a time outside of my cousins and his friends. But it is true that when you are in the emotionally disturbed class like I was the majority of students there are boys. In elementary school I went through the entirety of elementary school being one of only three girls in a class that was otherwise all boys, so that definitely made a difference as well.

"I get called that sometimes, oblivious. Often alongside "sweet summer child", whatever that means. I feel self-conscious with any swimsuit, not just bikinis, though I'd happily stand there in my underwear and have a full conversation with someone if they were so inclined to do so. I typically wear bikinis, though. Once I put a one-piece on, I always need help taking it off. My brain simply refuses, or maybe it can't, figure out how to take it off. Same thing happened with overalls."

I am basically the same way and that if I am not going out I pretty much spend all my days just sitting around in my underwear and a T-shirt at home and it doesn't really bother me. However being out in public and on display in a bikini feels more self-conscious as I feel much more exposed and on display.


One-piece swimsuits can be difficult to get out of and I find it rather irritating that I would pretty much have to get naked in order to go to the bathroom in one, which once resulted in my female cousin stealing my swimsuit from me and leaving me naked in a bathroom stall as a practical joke!

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15 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

One-piece swimsuits can be difficult to get out of and I find it rather irritating that I would pretty much have to get naked in order to go to the bathroom in one

Another reason I prefer bikinis.

I'm reminded of a friend of mine who I'm pretty sure wore a bikini instead of underwear on the rare occssion she wore a dress. Or else she wore underwear for swimming? Her response was noncommittal when I queried her about it.

 

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On 11/23/2021 at 3:54 AM, Stanley79 said:

How are family gatherings for you?

In my childhood Thanksgiving and Christmas brought 9 to 12 family members in to one or another aunts house.  That was too many for me.  I'd get anxious in the extreme.  This year we'll only gather 4.  Hopefully it will be OK.

For me, they can be fine as long as people give me my space when I clearly want it.  Thankfully, most people get the hint with little if any prompting.

  

On 11/26/2021 at 8:40 AM, silvermoon said:

My grandmother thought it was inappropriate for a girl to be talking about "masculine pursuits" (video games and computers).

My maternal grandmother was the opposite, she only married my grandfather on the condition of being allowed to manage their expenses (and she taught herself accounting in order to do so).  Partly because of this, my maternal grandparents were early adopters of the personal computer, buying a TRS-80 in the early 1980s and teaching their daughters how to use it for school work.

That said, she did forbid my mom from taking up acting as her major in college (or rather, she said she wouldn't pay for my mom's college if she went ahead with it)...which was probably for the best.

Edited by D0nt45k (see edit history)
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41 minutes ago, D0nt45k said:

My maternal grandmother was the opposite, she only married my grandfather on the condition of being allowed to manage their expenses (and she taught herself accounting in order to do so).  Partly because of this, my maternal grandparents were early adopters of the personal computer, buying a TRS-80 in the early 1980s and teaching their daughters how to use it for school work.

This was true of my paternal grandparents. My paternal grandfather got me into computers.

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  • 1 month later...

When I was diagnosed at age thirteen, I thought I was the only teenager in the world who was as strange as me. When I was eighteen, I thought I was the only young adult in the world who wasn't ready for college. When I realized I had a fetish for pee, I was sure no one else on the planet could possibly enjoy something as odd as fantasies involving pee. When I learned about omorashi and the many other people around the world who feel the same way about pee as I do, I thought I was the only autistic person who liked omo. Autism has made me feel very isolated and having a pee fetish and a couple of other fetishes doesn't help, so thank you everyone for sharing your stories.

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It's interesting how many of us on the autism spectrum are into this, or vice versa. I was diagnosed as a teen due to social difficulties at school. Making friends was difficult, dating was and remains impossible. I'm in my 30s now and only recently have I embraced my diagnosis. But by and large, my life is normal: I have a 9-5 job and am socially active. Other than that I don't want to get too much into my personal life but I'm glad there is a space here to talk about this sort of thing.

Edited by p33sh33tz (see edit history)
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Sometimes, having a circle of good friends who like you for who you are and understand your quirks  is better than dating. I've surrounded myself with a group of friends who have become like siblings, we support each other and just enjoy having fun together as a chosen family. For right now, I'm just happy to hang out with my chosen family and not worry about dating.

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  • 5 weeks later...

I am on the spectrum and in my forties. Since childhood I have had difficulty recognizing faces, understanding facial expressions, understanding any gestures more complicated than head nodding, head shaking, and shoulder shrugging. I also had some difficulties getting to toilet in time and using unfamiliar restrooms. My difficulty with unfamiliar rest rooms was worst at age eight and younger.
 

For example (on the subject of facial recognition), I often don’t recognize familiar people if they change their hairstyle. One day in fourth grade the teacher’s aide in my Special Education class had a perm and I didn’t recognize her. I saw her nearly every school day (except when she was occasionally out sick) in grades one through five. This was back in the 1980s when parents were telling their kids to “never talk to strangers”. One day after lunch she asked me why I wasn’t talking to her and I asked her who she was. She was surprised that I didn’t recognize her and she indicated to me that she was concerned that I might have some type of amnesia. A short time later she somehow realized that it was her new hairstyle that caused me to not recognize her.

 

As far as my conversational skills growing up are concerned, I just realized yesterday while watching an Arthur marathon on PBS Kids that George’s friend, Carl, is actually much more high-functioning than I was at his age. I noticed this while watching the relatively new episode “Making Conversation” when Carl gave George some pointers about conversational skills. George asked him how he knew so much about it and he indicated that his special education teacher works with him on this for about three or four days out of every week.

 

They don’t actually say where Carl is developmentally in other areas such as toilet training but I would assume that he is further along than I was growing up. For example, I only learned how to stop the flow after starting around age ten (when I was in fourth grade). Also, their depiction of Carl’s development is sometimes a bit uneven. For example, in one episode Carl said, “The peas are touching the potatoes.” which is a line that DW’s three-year-old friend Vicita said in one episode while crying. I don’t know if the writers intended to depict Carl as being socially and emotionally at a three-year-old level, but for at least a moment or two it came across that way.

I clearly remember the moment (at age ten) that I figured out how to cut the flow of urine after starting. One day (before a physical at my doctor’s office) my mother was collecting a urine sample from me first thing in the morning. I felt like I was about as full as possible (since that time I went the entire night without urinating). As instructed by the doctor’s office, I started urinating into the toilet and my mother was standing next to me with a plastic cup in hand. When she moved the cup into position I accidentally peed on her hand. When this happened I first tried to change my aim to “go” in the toilet bowl. She kept moving the cup into position to collect the sample (without explaining what she was trying to do at the time) but mostly just ended up getting her hand wet in the process.

 

I realized that my only choice at that point was to try to at least slow down the flow so she would realize that I wasn’t peeing on her hand on purpose. I didn’t actually know at that point that it was possible to stop after starting but I actually managed to for the first time ever.  My mother didn’t realize at first that I stopped the flow before I was finished and asked me if I was done already. I said “no” but I didn’t want to pee on her hand. By that point the sample size was still too small to be useful and she explained to me what she was doing. When she realized what I did she said, “Good job stopping your pee-pees! I’m so proud of you!”. She then asked me to finish up so she could collect the rest of the sample and make my breakfast.

 

When I had breakfast that morning she told my sister and my father about my dry diaper when I woke up (it was a Pamper that was probably the 1980s equivalent of a size four, five, or possibly even six in today’s sizes. I was born prematurely and was only about the size of a four-year-old and so any of those sizes would likely fit). She also gave me an extra Cherry Flavored Pop Tart and some extra soda as a reward for stopping my urination after starting for the first time ever. My father said “Good job, little buddy!” and told me that the night-time diapers would probably come off before I know it.
 

My parents told me that I might have some accidents during the day with the larger breakfast and extra soda and that they wouldn’t get mad if it happens but I should still try to use the toilet if I can. At the doctor’s office I made it to the toilet after my mother saw me squirming around in the waiting room and suggested that I try using the toilet. Later that day I went to the bathroom in my shorts while sitting down playing with a yellow Tonka toy dump truck in the sandbox (both ways) and as promised my parents didn’t get mad. I did, however, get a bath and change of clothes. I don’t remember if I was put in a diaper after this, but it is possible (even likely) that I was.

Before this my mother would always get a urine sample by placing a plastic baggie in my diaper at night and she would usually get what she needed that way.

 I was around eleven before the night-time diapers finally came off for good.

I could post more, but this post is probably long enough already.

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  • 2 months later...
Guest AromaticPee

Well... I'm autistic. I always have been, and always will be. I'm sick of hearing and seeing autism being called a "sickness" when in reality, it's just what makes me different from most others! And people everywhere should know that autism is NOT  a bad thing! If we're to accept diversity, I think that's the first step.

I don't have parents; I think I was born in a lab of sorts, then given away for adoption. The people who adopted me were pretty accepting at first. They diagnosed me for autism when I was 5 or so, and they readily dismissed it.

But when I turned 14, they gaslighted me because I couldn't hide my fetishes and my foster mom said I was "way too intrigued by pink marshmallows for it to be healthy. I mean, come on! We never saw you play with your food before that Kirby thing got into your head!" There was a bit of truth to this: I was afraid to eat strawberry-flavored marshmallows because they looked like Kirby. And I did reenact scenes from the Kirby anime with these marshmallows and other foods I didn't like.

I retorted, "But people at school love it! And I made friends with people who readily share my fantasies! Is that really so bad, now that you heard my perspective?!"

"I also heard from the school that you like peeing your pants in front of girls. And that's illegal-"

"They wanted to see how boys did it, and they're so mesmerized by the way the stain spreads on my pants! No one minds the smell, either! Not even the teachers!"

"...The teachers must've gone so ill, they couldn't smell it."

"That. Is. Not. It. At. All! Mom, I personally asked the teachers if they were bothered by the smell of my pee! All of them said no! And they're all normal teachers, none of them sick or otherwise impaired!"

"Why are you like this? Just wake up and see how wrong you are!"

"I am awake! You just think my eyelids are invisible!"

...

"HONEY! THE CHILD WANTS TO LEAVE US!" she yelled.

"NO!" I shouted. "THAT'S WRONG!"

...

I heard my foster parents conversing.

"What's the big deal here?" asked my foster dad. "I don't get why you would say such things to our son."

"He's a disgusting slob who won't even admit to his crimes!" my mom lied. "He mentally molests women and gets away with it, no explanation given whatsoever!"

I couldn't take it anymore. "You guys have been so supportive of this... this... ALIEN LIFEFORM I am, that you would die to keep me alive!" I explained. "I'm not a slob, just different than what you think is ideal! Dahlia liked what I did with her, and she wasn't scared a bit!"

"OH MY GOD. I'M CALLING THE POLICE AND MAYBE EVEN THE LOCAL JURY!! RIGHT! [REDACTED]! NOW!"

"Language, Mom!"

She left the room.

Dad sighed. "I know Mom gets riled up and sets up straw men sometimes," he said calmly. "But when you mentioned Dahlia, that was a big mistake. I know what her parents saw in you. And I don't think that her feelings can be an excuse for what you did with her."

I stated, "It's not an excuse, Dad! We legitimately had fun together, and it wasn't naughty business!"

"I've heard otherwise. Now, do you want to leave like your biological mother says you do?"

"I wasn't born to you! This boy you see now is a lab subject!"

"Don't put it that way. I know you came out of your mom's vagina on October 6th. And we love you."

"LIES! YOU'RE JUST TRYING TO CALM ME DOWN, AND IT'S NOT GONNA WORK! I KNOW YOU ADOPTED ME, AND NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT!"

"But there's a time and place for everything. Now is definitely not it. *sighs* Look, I'll go talk to the cops and plead you not guilty. Just stay here, all right?"

"... You know what?! Mom's right! I'm a fugitive of the law!" I decided to play Mom's little game of truth-or-dare. "Good. Freaking. Bye. Dad!" I ran to my room, grabbed my clothes, scrubby, shampoo, body wash, toothbrush, toothpaste, money, video games, toys, and books, and hastily put them all in a couple of travel bags.

"Wait!" he cried. "Come back! We can discuss this better and we can be happy together!" I know it was crocodile tears, for he never cried before except when playing the victim.

I wet my pants in front of him for the last time, waited for it to dry, then ran away with the travel bags. Then I realized I had dog tags on. I threw those away, because I was never to return to that wretched residence I once called home...

Then I found Dahlia, who was about to move with her parents. I told them everything that transpired, and then Dahlia said in a sad tone, "...Tom, I never knew that side of you... you're so brave to confront your parents like that..." she peed herself in front of us all, then hugged me while her pants were still wet. It was so wholesome...

Her mom said, "Me and my hubby are going to sue your parents for child abuse. Then, you can live with us. Dahlia will be in charge while we're out and about, and when we move, Dahlia can stay here." Then, she crouched and whispered in a much sweeter voice, "I know how much you love this place, my little Tootsie. You can see how much Tom here loves it... yes, you can..." she patted Dahlia on the shoulder, and Dahlia farted loudly.

*pffffffft*

"Well," she said, "excuuuuuuuse me, Prince Charming!" Everyone laughed heartily, and I wet myself. Dahlia hugged me again, tighter this time...

And I, alongside Dahlia and her family, lived happily ever after.

The End.

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  • 1 month later...

A couple days ago I looked up "potty training an autistic."  One site mentioned a child not potty trained at age 7.  (I still wet regularly at age 5.)  Nearly all, recommended reward for successful days (pants neither wet nor soiled).  The sites all put emphasis on positive training.

My parents were the opposite.  I remember their "method" from age 5 onward.  Mom would tell me if I wet again, I'd be put into training pants or diapers.  She kept a pair of training pants with my underwear so I'd see it every day and remember her threat.  Mom restricted my fluids and constantly sent me to the bathroom.  (The web sites say this deprives children of learning to recognize bladder signals.)  Tending to space out, I probably didn't notice my bladder signals.  Dad would tease me unmercifully anytime I didn't notice my bladder signal until it got bad.  At age 11 mom outed me to the doctor about my returned bed-wetting without preparing me.

Mom could have told me other kids sometimes wet.  A boy cousin a year older bed-wet in part due to type 1 diabetes.  A girl cousin 5 years older had giggle incontinence that never cleared up.  One of my playmates could only hold a few minutes.  Another bed-wet (and told me).  My mother knew their mothers (and was aware of more wetting offspring than I was at the time.)  If she'd thought it through, she could have lightened up about my bed-wetting.  She could have given me diapers for long car trips and nights in motels.

I didn't get over my embarrassment about my bladder until adulthood when I started adding up all the people I knew with some sort of wetting.  By then I knew at three twenty-something women who said they still dribbled or wet.

 

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@Stanley79

"A couple days ago I looked up "potty training an autistic."  One site mentioned a child not potty trained at age 7.  (I still wet regularly at age 5.)"

I was also late to potty train. Although I would pee in the toilet until around the age of 7 I'd typically poop in my underwear and didn't wipe myself until long after as well but had an obsession with all things toilet related even at that young age.

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