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This thread is primarily for autistic people to write about their experiences.  The experiences may involve, but are not limited to, online autistic trait sites, difficulty recognizing people, difficulty seeing another person's feelings, narrow interest range, anxiety among non-autistic groups, depression, stimming, famous autistic people and more.

Many autistic people must fake normalcy to fit into their communities.  Others avoid religious denominations requiring unified group emotions (because our feelings don't always link to those around us).

We would like non-autistic people to understand autism is in our neural wiring and can not be changed at this time.  In many cases we would feel quite uncomfortable (that we were not ourselves) if normalized.

The autistic spectrum ranges from people who can't take care of themselves to exceptional research scientists.  

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...And also exceptional research scientists who can't take care of themselves.

Depends on the size, but I can usually manage if it's just family. I get more and more nonfunctional the more people and/or strangers are present.

Whenever we were away from adults, my next older cousin encouraged me to hydrate as she did herself.  She reported her bladder status.  If I had any bladder signal at all, I'd report needing to pee to

@Stanley79

"The experiences may involve, but are not limited to, online autistic trait sites, difficulty recognizing people, difficulty seeing another person's feelings, narrow interest range, anxiety among non-autistic groups, depression, stimming, famous autistic people and more."

I've never been formally diagnosed but pretty much everybody who knows me can easily recognize all of these traits in me pretty much. I have a very hard time recognizing people, I have a very hard time relating to people, as anyone who has read my posts now I can have a very narrow and fanatical interests in very specific topics, tend to be anxious most of the time and depressed most of the time, so it's all things that I can really relate to.

"Many autistic people must fake normalcy to fit into their communities.  Others avoid religious denominations requiring unified group emotions (because our feelings don't always link to those around us)."

I couldn't fake normalcy if I tried nor would I even want to, but I do tend to avoid group activities such as organized religion and political rallies or any type of large gathering of people, which admittedly does decrease my chances of seeing women in line for the restroom!

@trekkie

"...And also exceptional research scientists who can't take care of themselves."

I think this is something a lot of people have a hard time understanding. My dad figures that there's no reason why I shouldn't be able to take care of myself seeing as I had a 4.0 GPA in college and an above average IQ and everything like that. I can easily write a book within a week and yet I can't drive a car or do most basic things to take care of myself that most people half my age have mastered by their teenage years.

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1 hour ago, DesperateJill said:

I've never been formally diagnosed but pretty much everybody who knows me can easily recognize all of these traits in me pretty much. I have a very hard time recognizing people, I have a very hard time relating to people, as anyone who has read my posts now I can have a very narrow and fanatical interests in very specific topics, tend to be anxious most of the time and depressed most of the time, so it's all things that I can really relate to.

Hi Jill,

I just read about your suspected autism.

Than I understand your reaction about my jokes, which included punning/wordplay/word joke – what means:
Using words with 2 meanings in a sentence , so that the whole sentence can have 2 different meanings. One meaning is logical and the other meaning is whimsical and is considered funny – at least by many people.

So when you did not understand one wordplay after I gave you hints and did not react on the second wordplay a few days later, I suspected autism or the Asperger's syndrome. But there are also people with non of these diagnosis, who just don't like such wordplays and other silliness.

You are an intelligent woman. So I would say Asperger's syndrome is much more likely than autism in this case. I know a woman in UK, who is diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome

If my posts make no sense in your eyes, don't hesitate to ask me in a private message!
I am used to also write in a quite logical way!

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@Peter-P

I suspect that I have Asperger's syndrome rather than full-blown autism and I think that that's what most people think of when they think of me, although I heard that they have gotten rid of that classification now and they just refer to all autism as autism spectrum disorders, where everybody is just somewhere on the spectrum rather than having the specific subcategories of disorders. I also think it has something to do with Hans Asperger having collaborated with the Nazis euthanasia program, which I think has tainted the association.

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58 minutes ago, DesperateJill said:

@Peter-P

I suspect that I have Asperger's syndrome rather than full-blown autism and I think that that's what most people think of when they think of me, although I heard that they have gotten rid of that classification now and they just refer to all autism as autism spectrum disorders, where everybody is just somewhere on the spectrum rather than having the specific subcategories of disorders. I also think it has something to do with Hans Asperger having collaborated with the Nazis euthanasia program, which I think has tainted the association.

Yes, I read about autism spectrum disorders (ASD) at Wikipedia.

IMO Hans Asperger lived at the wrong time, as without Nazis and their bad thoughts, classification and exclusion and killing of Jews, Sinti and Roma and their exclusion and killing of disabled or just a little different people, – then Hans Asperger's scientific results could just been very helpful from the very beginning. And at least after WWII Asperger's scientific results are a good base for more and better medical research and for helpful ideas.

And I think a differential diagnosis between a mild autism like the Asperger syndrome and a heavy and really dysfunctional way of autism can be helpful – e.g. when you look for a job etc.

A differential diagnosis IMO ever can be helpful. Also with other, more or pure physical illnesses or diseases, it is helpful or at least can be helpful to be able to differ between it in a full spectrum.
If you just say: "I hurt my leg", that can mean that you just scratched it a little bit or you have a broken bone or a heavy truck crushed it totally.

But it is also helpful to have a comprehensive collective term, if you don't want to tell too much – not too many details.

But also it can be very positive to use the words 'Asperger's syndrome' instead of 'autism' or 'ASD', as Asperger's syndrome is a very mild and still a really very well functional version in the spectrum of autism disorders! in a communication you create an idea of your words in the listener or reader of your words. And the word 'autism'  creates the idea of a average version or probably worse in the listener or reader of the words. So the question comes up, how dysfunctional will that person with the autism be. And if you say 'Asperger's syndrome' that includes "just a mild version, can be intelligent or even very intelligent". So this word of classification is an advantage compared with not talking about what special version of ASD is meant.

Edited by Peter-P (see edit history)
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8 hours ago, trekkie said:

...And also exceptional research scientists who can't take care of themselves.

There is a reason for the stereotype of the absent-minded professor existing.

Anyway, aspie here.  Wasn't officially diagnosed till I was 12 (as in having it in writing), but the first time somebody said I have it was when I was 5.  People just didn't know what to do with me, and this translated to all sorts of misery, to put it lightly.  This wasn't helped by the fact that my parents got me involved with all sorts of different quacks, from ones that were more interesting in hawking their books, to ones that pushed pills with contradictory effects on me, to some who resorted to...Pavlovian conditioning (read: torture) to try and mold me into whatever people wanted me to be, and I'll never forgive some of these people for what they did.  All it did was instill in me a strong distrust of authority in general and turn me into even more of an introverted hermit than I already was.  Of course, my travails didn't end with childhood, but they persisted into adulthood too.  The unemployment rate for people on the spectrum is something like 75-80% last I checked.  My employment history is a revolving door of different jobs, none of them lasting more than a year before some cunt of a manager, coworker, or customer has to ruin everything.

Anyway, something interesting I've noticed.  Some people say that people like me don't pick up on non-overt social cues.  On the contrary, I pick up on all the cues, even the ones they might not be intending to send me, and those could confuse me.

Edited by D0nt45k (see edit history)
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51 minutes ago, Peter-P said:

Asperger's syndrome

Asperger's syndrome has been dropped in the USA.  It might be in use elsewhere.  A major problem is drawing a diagnostic line between Asperger's and autism.  My doctor originally diagnosed me with Asperger's, then functional ASD.  But since then I've discovered more of my behaviors fail further along the spectrum.  My own driving frightened me to the extent I quit driving.  I sometimes have total amnesia about a period of time.  When I reconnect with the my surroundings, I feel like I'm coming out of a trace (stimming which is not not diagnostic to my knowledge, but associated with ASD).  Working in electronics laboratories, I can perform repetitive data taking for hours without discomfort (nearly all other high level technicians and low level engineers hate such activity) and so on.  I have a master's degree in applied physics, but more often than not can't write a check to pay a bill.  I just can not pick up the pen.

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While I've never been formally diagnosed, I'm fairly certain I'm on the autism spectrum. I've had several misdiagnosises over the years, as my "symptoms" (AKA my natural way of being and my reactions to stress and sensory overload) were misconstrued for other conditions that I did not actually have. Through doing my research and seeing how my experiences line up with those of other autistics I've been able to better understand my own needs and I have since been more accepting of myself, knowing that the way I relate to the world and how I experience it is all tied in with my neurodivergence. That said, I'm not ashamed of it, nor is there any reason to be. It's simply another variation and I think it ought to stop being so stigmatized. 

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26 minutes ago, Stanley79 said:

Asperger's syndrome has been dropped in the USA.  It might be in use elsewhere.  A major problem is drawing a diagnostic line between Asperger's and autism.  My doctor originally diagnosed me with Asperger's, then functional ASD.  But since then I've discovered more of my behaviours fail further along the spectrum.  My own driving frightened me to the extent I quit driving.  I sometimes have total amnesia about a period of time.  When I reconnect with the my surroundings, I feel like I'm coming out of a trace (slimming which is not not diagnostic to my knowledge, but associated with ASD).  Working in electronics laboratories, I can perform repetitive data taking for hours without discomfort (nearly all other high level technicians and low level engineers hate such activity) and so on.  I have a master's degree in applied physics, but more often than not can't write a check to pay a bill.  I just can not pick up the pen.

But exactly that was the advantage of the old differential diagnosis:

AS:    Motoric disorders were just part of the Asperger syndrome (AS),
ECA:  but not shown at the other early childhood autisms.

AS:    built up a early development of grammatically and stylistically high level language,
          often pedantic language style, problems understanding metaphors and irony.
ECA:  Other autistic disorders have in half of the cases absence of language development;
          otherwise delayed language development, initially often echolalia, interchanging of pronouns.

AS:    normal to high intelligence, partly high ability,
ECA:  while the other versions were mainly categorized as mental retardation,
          partly normal to high intelligence, partly high ability.

ECA:  And early childhood autism starts with first abnormalities from the 10th-12th month of life,
AS:    while AS much later: from the 4th year of life onwards.

AS + ECA:      Common in both shall be: eye contact = rare, fleeting.
 

All this according to Wikipedia – translation in this case with https://www.deepl.com/de/translator.

So I would conclude: the wanted political correctness is partly a medical disadvantage.

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I don't describe myself as autistic, but in my career as a school counselor and as a special education teacher I've worked with children who have been identified as such.  I've concluded that "normal" is a misleading label.  There are many individuals whose natural abilities and behaviors fall within that description, but there are also many who are forced into pretense just to cope with society.  We don't let them be who they are.  We don't help them find their own niche.  There are too many expectations.

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I have Asperger's syndrome and yes Asperger's is a form of autism. Also there are a bunch of Asperger's people on Fetlife too and have created a kik group for it. What a weird way to find a Asperger's kik group right? Well I guess same thing can be said about finding one here but here we are lol. I have found out from years of chatting online with people that there seems to be some sort of a small correlation between bathroom topics and Asperger's syndrome or other forms of autism. Also a correlation between bathroom topics and people that work in the IT field.

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I am formally diagnosed with The Autism and it's a challenge to accept that I have true limitations that don't amount to "laziness" or "eccentricity" (ex: I didn't have the cognitive skills to drive until adulthood) while at the same time not letting this word some Ukrainian dude coined 78 years ago define me. Being undiagnosed and adrift without therapy was awful, but so was being absorbed in an autism identity movement that encouraged me to self-infantilize and refuse to change and grow. My current strategy is to be kind to myself without turning "I'm autistic, I'm autistic, I'm autistic" into a mantra.

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I'm in a similar situation as DesperateJill, I'm positive I have Asperger's Syndrome, but I've never been formally diagnosed with it. I don't really see the point in getting diagnosed with it since it's not like I can't work as a result of it or anything. I don't see what getting therapy (or medication if it exists) for Asperger's could do to help improve my life or well being if I did get diagnosed with it. My two brothers both have it as well.

I don't match all the typical symptoms of autism, but I definitely have some of them (like difficulty with social interactions, avoiding eye contact, preoccupation with specific topics). I actively avoid group gatherings when I can, and I'm often the first to leave them and go back to work whenever there's a group gathering to celebrate something at the office.

1 hour ago, Lovetoholdin said:

I have found out from years of chatting online with people that there seems to be some sort of a small correlation between bathroom topics and Asperger's syndrome or other forms of autism. Also a correlation between bathroom topics and people that work in the IT field.

It's probably just a coincidence more then anything. Also a quick Google search says that 1 in 54 in the US have autism, and I.T. (and other tech fields) probably attract more people with autism due to how the work often plays to the strengths people with some forms of autism have.

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@Peter-P

"IMO Hans Asperger lived at the wrong time, as without Nazis and their bad thoughts, classification and exclusion and killing of Jews, Sinti and Roma and their exclusion and killing of disabled or just a little different people, – then Hans Asperger's scientific results could just been very helpful from the very beginning. And at least after WWII Asperger's scientific results are a good base for more and better medical research and for helpful ideas."

I suppose that's a good point, just because their research was morally compromised doesn't make it wrong in terms of scientific accuracy. Like the Nazis were evil but the fact that they were the ones who figured out that cigarette smoking caused cancer wasn't any less true just because they were Nazis.


It reminded me about when we were learning about the Holocaust in high school there was this debate that the teacher brought up about whether they should use research that was obtained through human experimentation during the Holocaust, and my reasoning was that you should use the data because it could benefit people even if it was obtained through unethical means, because then at least even though  the victims shouldn't have gone through that maybe their death can at least help somebody else with the knowledge that came from them, even if they were done through unethical means.

@D0nt45k

"This wasn't helped by the fact that my parents got me involved with all sorts of different quacks, from ones that were more interesting in hawking their books, to ones that pushed pills with contradictory effects on me, to some who resorted to Pavlovian conditioning (read: torture) to try and mold me into whatever people wanted me to be, and I'll never forgive some of these people for what they did.  All it did was instill in me a strong distrust of authority in general and turn me into even more of an introverted hermit than I already was.  Of course, my travails didn't end with childhood, but they persisted into adulthood too." 

I went through similar where when I was younger I was diagnosed with hyperactivity and attention deficit disorder and they gave me all of these drugs such as Ritalin that I later learned is supposedly like a mild form of crack and I wonder if that caused me a lot of my later difficulties. And then when I had a mental breakdown in high school they put me in a psychiatric facility where they gave me all of these new drugs and it was shortly afterwards that my stomach problems began. I can't prove that there is a direct link but I secretly suspect that there is some link between that.


As a result of that I am very distrustful of psychiatrists and psychologists who seem like they are some of the most hyper conservative and controlling people who want to force everybody to conform to the suppose it norm. The way I see it most of them come across to me as little more than run-of-the-mill drug dealers who are just trying to profit.

"The unemployment rate for people on the spectrum is something like 75-80% last I checked.  My employment history is a revolving door of different jobs, none of them lasting more than a year before some cunt of a manager, coworker, or customer has to ruin everything."

Other than self-publishing novelist, which is pretty much an almost nonpaying job given my meager book sales, my first actual real job wasn't until I got my outdoor job without bathrooms at the age of like 36 or 37 and, so far as the only real formal one that I have had, and even then that wasn't a full-time thing.

"Anyway, something interesting I've noticed.  Some people say that people like me don't pick up on non-overt social cues.  On the contrary, I pick up on all the cues, even the ones they might not be intending to send me, and those could confuse me."

I think I am sort of like that in that I am hyper analytical of every little social interaction or every little thing that people do and I tend to notice these things and I think that I tend to over analyze them, as some of my posts here have revealed where I was trying to determine people's behavior and perhaps reading too much into people's social cues, particularly in regards to me being desperate.

@Stanley79

"Working in electronics laboratories, I can perform repetitive data taking for hours without discomfort (nearly all other high level technicians and low level engineers hate such activity) and so on.  I have a master's degree in applied physics, but more often than not can't write a check to pay a bill.  I just can not pick up the pen."

That is where I am different in that I am very bad at technical work and stuff of that nature. I'm not really a big fan of repetitive tasks either although I am very repetitive in my routines. But like you I really don't know how to write a check and I always need help with that if I need to write one in my dad has a guardianship over me so that he can take care of all of my medical and financial stuff for me since I really don't know how to deal with those type of things.

@AlwaysOmo

"While I've never been formally diagnosed, I'm fairly certain I'm on the autism spectrum. I've had several misdiagnosises over the years, as my "symptoms" (AKA my natural way of being and my reactions to stress and sensory overload) were misconstrued for other conditions that I did not actually have."

Yeah when I was younger I was diagnosed with lots of things like attention deficit hyperactivity and stuff like that and a whole bunch of other things that I can't even remember now, things that now are often diagnosed as Asperger's syndrome or are confused with that syndrome. But this was back in the early 90s when Asperger's syndrome wasn't really a common diagnosis at all, particularly in women.

@LizJWetting

"Now as more of an adult I function pretty well in daily life, but still struggle with some things like not quite knowing how to start conversation with a stranger, or getting stressed if my familiar routines suddenly change."

Yeah I am the same way and that other than on boards like this that have my specific interest in topics in mind I pretty much never initiate social contact or conversations with anyone. In fact that's why like message boards on the Internet like this because I can respond point by point where other people are responding and then I am responding back, for me that's a much more structured conversation than the anarchy of a regular conversation face-to-face.


And if my routine differs by even like a few minutes I get completely bent out of shape and I find it very hard to function. Like I literally do everything at the same exact time, like a few minutes ago it was 8:37 AM which is when I go downstairs to see if the cats want to come upstairs, always at that particular time, which is also the same time I usually go to the bathroom and get more water and all of this other stuff. If you spent a day or two with me you would know my routine down to the minute, in fact even the cats know my routine because they can tell my routine is off when I am sick.

@Lovetoholdin

"I have found out from years of chatting online with people that there seems to be some sort of a small correlation between bathroom topics and Asperger's syndrome or other forms of autism. Also a correlation between bathroom topics and people that work in the IT field."

I have noticed that as well and I think that it's because when you have this type of disorder or whatever is that it's hard to drown out external stimuli. such as a full bladder and everything like that. like when I'm starting my job where I didn't have the bathroom access all the time I was freaking out because it's almost impossible for me to not completely fixate on the fact that I have to go to the bathroom, and to take someone who has a fixation on bathrooms and bathroom access, a fetish for this, and put them in a situation where it's a constant issue and it's almost impossible for it to not completely dominate my thinking.

@notthewees

"I am formally diagnosed with The Autism and it's a challenge to accept that I have true limitations that don't amount to "laziness" or "eccentricity" (ex: I didn't have the cognitive skills to drive until adulthood) while at the same time not letting this word some Ukrainian dude coined 78 years ago define me."

Yeah that's what I get all the time with my father constantly saying that I'm lazy and selfish and can't behave in a normal manner all the time. Unlike many here I totally am unable to drive, and I also tend to be anxious even leaving the house by myself unless I am going to a really familiar place and always have somebody that I can call to rely on. I am somewhat mildly agoraphobic.

@FullBladder85

"I'm in a similar situation as DesperateJill, I'm positive I have Asperger's Syndrome, but I've never been formally diagnosed with it. I don't really see the point in getting diagnosed with it since it's not like I can't work as a result of it or anything. I don't see what getting therapy (or medication if it exists) for Asperger's could do to help improve my life or well being if I did get diagnosed with it. My two brothers both have it as well."

I have heard it can take a long time and cost lots of money to get diagnosed so I don't really feel there is any necessity either as I don't intend to do any type of medication for it or change my life in any way based on a diagnosis, although it's nice to know because it does explain a lot about me, so I have been reading and watching a tremendous amount about it online and finding it amazing how many people have similar issues that can actually relate to, so it's nice to know that I'm not the only person on the planet like this. There is sort of a method to the madness.

"I don't match all the typical symptoms of autism, but I definitely have some of them (like difficulty with social interactions, avoiding eye contact, preoccupation with specific topics). I actively avoid group gatherings when I can, and I'm often the first to leave them and go back to work whenever there's a group gathering to celebrate something at the office."

I am exactly the same way and that I always tend to look down at my feet and rarely make eye contact with people, social situations and group situations are always extremely difficult and I go to great lengths to avoid them and anyone who has ever read anything that I have posted here I can be extremely preoccupied and extremely fixated on very specific topics and subcategories of those topics, not just with bathrooms, but that's what everybody knows about me from here of course.

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I'm another one who's never had any sort of diagnosis, nor do I really think there's any value in me seeking one, but I'm pretty sure that I'm up there on the spectrum somewhere.

My job's in an industry heavily governed by rules and regulations, and it's an industry that I've always been drawn towards, probably for that very reason. I suspect that a lot of the people that I work with are similarly on the spectrum, some of them very much so (and indeed I know quite a few have been formally diagnosed), despite having jobs carrying a great deal of responsibility. It's an industry with a significant voluntary sector too, which I'm involved with, and it's even more noticeable there.

My day at work is planned out to the minute, and I like it like that. I find the underlying planning deeply fascinating. I don't like it when things that directly affect me change outside my control. I don't like it when I don't know what I'll be doing. Outside work, I don't like crowded places with lots of different things going on, etc..

 

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1 hour ago, homeanddry said:

My day at work is planned out to the minute,

My job in TV broadcasting was planned to the second.  That worked nicely for me.  Typically when we came out of a movie running on our projectors, we would run a couple commercials and a 10-second station break.  At the same time we're watching our clock and timing ques from a low-budget sports network.  Right on the hour we faded out from our station break and faded up on the network.  (We liked a blank-screen moment to flag viewers we were changing video sources.  We had fudges or other situations.  Still the owner wanted us right on the second so channel surfers wouldn't get caught by other channels while we were still running commercials.  New master control operators could practice on late movies to avoid too many viewers seeing our blunders.)

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8 hours ago, Stanley79 said:

My job in TV broadcasting was planned to the second.  That worked nicely for me.  Typically when we came out of a movie running on our projectors, we would run a couple commercials and a 10-second station break.  At the same time we're watching our clock and timing ques from a low-budget sports network.  Right on the hour we faded out from our station break and faded up on the network.  (We liked a blank-screen moment to flag viewers we were changing video sources.  We had fudges or other situations.  Still the owner wanted us right on the second so channel surfers wouldn't get caught by other channels while we were still running commercials.  New master control operators could practice on late movies to avoid too many viewers seeing our blunders.)

I dabbled briefly in radio a few years ago. One of the two stations that I was involved with was a hospital radio station that took the news from the network on the hour, every hour. For me, as it should, everything revolved around timing it right with a jingle to hit the news to the second without cutting anything short or any awkward silences. It used to pain me immeasurably when someone else did it and came up a minute or two late, fading gently into the middle of the news broadcast...

It's a different world in my current job, with lots more to go wrong outside my control, and it does make me feel a little apprehensive when things start to run late and plans are changed to recover from it.

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@LizJWetting

"I personally never really fitted the type of being really skilled at maths or science or whatever. I wouldn't describe myself as unintelligent either, but the stereotype of us always being gifted geniuses is something that somewhat annoys me. Of course it does apply to some people though."

I was always a really good student in school but math and science wasn't the thing I was particularly good at. I was good enough for science like biology and stuff like that, and space related things I was always interested in, but I was never very good at math, which I think is more of the stereotype that people on the spectrum are associated with, whereas my more expertise is sort of along the liberal arts and social sciences, which people with these type of issues tend to be considered not to be as good at. I think there is sort of a stereotype that people who are on the spectrum are more math science and technical oriented than literary, social studies and liberal arts oriented.


But then again I do write science fiction so I guess I sort of them on that more nerdy science-y sort of realm of the fiction and literature area, so maybe it's not totally a wrong stereotype either, but I write more social science fiction than that hard type of really technical kind, which tends to bore me, even though I try to make the science accurate/plausible.

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I am autistic as well! Good to see so many of us in this thread, it's actually really nice. It's interesting how one can form a community within a group of people only brought together for fetish purposes. 

I would describe my experience as an autistic person as balanced between pros and cons. I don't need as much support as some people, and I can usually talk. I am able to live by myself and I'm currently in college. 

Pros: 

- I have a good memory for small details

- I'm good at recognizing patterns. An example of this is my ability to find things quickly

- I can follow written instructions well, and I like to do things correctly. An example would be cleaning machinery. 

- I love my special interests and I have a really good time with them

Cons:

- It's hard for me to make friends, especially in person. 

- I get overwhelmed easily by bad sounds, sensations, bright lights etc. 

- I'm not good at reading social cues and I'm not the best at making the right facial expressions or inflection in my voice

- I'm very clumsy and awkward 

This was the best way I could think to describe my experience. I have enjoyed reading everyone else's posts in the thread! 

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