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Wet Note - A Multi-Part Omorashi Epic


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It's okay. Just stop giving me false hope by posting witty comments so that when i check for updates, it says you made the last post, and i get excited, and i just see a witty comment.

Wet Note. Part 1. *warning: This part contains minor lolicon and minor incest. When I say minor, I mean minor, though. -Discovery- 11:59 PM, Saturday. Satou Nakajima sat alone in a dark bedroom,

Chapter 8 -Limits- “I still can't believe you...!” Satou roared between gasps of breath as he sprinted down an empty sidewalk. It was odd for him to be running at all, let alone dashing at a break

Ah fortunately I have read/watched Death Note , so I understand . The Death Note allows anyone's name who's written in the book to die of heart attack , unless otherwise stated . So I believe this "Wet Note" , makes the person whose name is written in the book wet herself . Oh I would die for a book like that .
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Although I hardly believe anyone here doesn't know how Notes work, Diesel and Ichijin, obvious spoilers are still spoilers, so you might want to hide them.

Zryouiki, good writing. I'm not into lolicon or siscon either, so I mostly skimmed this part, and am certainly hoping for a continuation. In fact, this is making me think of writing a Code Geass fanfic where a particular geass user tries to arrange some interesting moments, too, but I think I'm going to wait with that until I have more of a plot.

A few tips: having text that denotes timeskips so directly is generally considered poor form. A paragraph that leads the reader to the next part is generally considered better. Other than that, English does not allow multiple people to speak in one paragraph. Most of the mistakes are connected to the use of speech, actually, you may want to read up on the rules if you care about such things.

Finally, would you mind if I made a PDF of this? If it grows to be more than three chapters, I think it may be nice to have the text compiled into one document.

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As soon as i thought this i thought "Oh, Death note fiction where misa, sayu, or lights mom will wet themselves. How cool. But then i read and as soon as i saw the "Wet Note" i had to stop myself from bursting out into laughter! That is HILARIOUS! You are...You are intelligent for thinking of that...Big props...Big props....

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A few tips: having text that denotes timeskips so directly is generally considered poor form. A paragraph that leads the reader to the next part is generally considered better. Other than that, English does not allow multiple people to speak in one paragraph. Most of the mistakes are connected to the use of speech, actually, you may want to read up on the rules if you care about such things.

Finally, would you mind if I made a PDF of this? If it grows to be more than three chapters, I think it may be nice to have the text compiled into one document.

Surprising as it is, I'm an English major and rather "famous" author in other areas of the internet. The time indicator is a stylistic choice, and I don't recall writing nor do I currently see any paragraphs with two people talking. I will admit that dialogue is my worst area though, and any pointers or critiques are appreciated. And sure, go ahead with a PDF.

As for part 2, it's incredibly long, almost awkwardly so. I need to finish it and trim it. If it isn't up within the hour, I'll have it up tomorrow. Sorry for the delay, all :)

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I've looked at the dialogue again, and indeed, I must have imagined the two characters speaking at once. Perhaps it was the places where the main acting character was Yui, but Satou was speaking. For example:

“I...think I understand. Let's go to your room.” Yui nodded in return, and sneakily left the room. Lucky for them, their parents' room was on the opposite side of the house, and they were heavy sleepers. Also lucky for Yui...her older brother knew exactly how to handle a situation like this.

While quite easy to understand in-context, simply reading this part gives the impression that it was Yui who said it and then left the room alone.

Another thing I had noticed is that you tend to capitalise the word right after speech, which looks weird but is correct, seeing as you often omit the `x said'. The one place I'm not sure about is almost at the end, where his mother calls up to him. I think `his' should not be capitalised, but this is minor, really.

I'm glad to see that this is going to be written by a known writer, gives me hope that it won't vanish. ^^

I've added a PDF and the corresponding LaTeX file. Minor note about this: your first paragraph starts with a time+place which I split off into a separate section. Also, the tildes aren't working all too well, I'm going to try to fix those when I'm more awake.

wetnote.tex

wetnote.pdf

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Oh god now im afraid of his take over the world and become god of it speech. "I will make people wet themselves, and BE THE GOD OF DESPERATION! I shall be called....OMO!"

My thoughts exactly. o_o

Great story, Zryouiki. Keep up the good work! ^^

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Part 3

-Further Experimentation-

3:00 PM.

Though, by now, it had been several hours since Matsumoto-sensei's accident, Satou's mind was still abuzz thinking about it. He wasn't alone, either. Though classes had ended for the day, and people were heading to clubs, jobs, or back home, it was hard not to hear someone talking about the event. Word had spread quickly, as such things often did in high schools, and the story had been warped and changed many times over. Satou, however, was the only one who knew the true story, cause and all.

He'd spent much of the day with the Wet Note on his mind. Mostly recalling its success over and over, unable to believe that it had actually worked. He occasionally pinched himself, cliché as it was, to see if it was just a dream. Also swimming through his mind were fantasies and plans, eager thoughts of how he'd use the note to achieve his wildest dreams.

Currently Satou sat in the library, at a secluded table furthest from the entrance, and more importantly, far from the wandering gazes of others. Both his biology notebook and the Wet Note sat opened in front of him. He did, after all, take his day's notes in the wrong notebook, and was in the process of transferring them from note to note.

The work was tedious, of course. Satou's mind began to wander, and his eyes occasionally left his paper to scan the library. The only other occupants were a pair of girls and, of course, the old hag of a librarian. The girls he recognized from a few classes. They were the inseparable duo, Akemi Nakanoi and Midori Tarumi. The former, Akemi, was the more well-known of the two. Her beautiful and long black hair, along with her family's great wealth, were among her biggest talking points. She was also a renowned athlete, and managed decent grades at the same time. She received at least one confession a week, or so the rumors said.

Midori, on the other hand, was the typical foil to the more-outgoing Akemi. While she was, in Satou's opinion, just as pretty as Akemi, she hid it underneath glasses and a rough ponytail. Other than being Akemi's best friend, Midori was overall rather unremarkable. She had a middle-class family, managed average grades, and played second-chair flute in the school orchestra. Other than that, Satou had no idea what she was like. She was always overshadowed by Akemi, especially in the gossip department.

As Satou absentmindedly copied notes and performed subtle character interruptions, a sudden gust of wind from nowhere blew the Wet Note pages around. Satou scrambled to keep his loose paper from blowing away, creating such a clamor as to attract the gazes of Akemi and Midori. Both of them sported raised eyebrows, and Akemi stifled a giggle. Satou's face was dyed red with embarrassment even after the wind had subsided, thinking how foolish he must've looked. He looked down at the contents of his secluded table. He'd lost in place in all of his books, some worksheets had simply disappeared, and the Wet Note sat dangerously opened to the inside cover...the instructions.

-If the circumstances leading to the loss of control are written within 40 seconds of writing the person's name, it will happen.

A single line of the rules caught his eye. Of course! While Satou had managed to prove the note's abilities, he hadn't tested the full extent of them. Indeed, specifying circumstances would make further uses of the note even more interesting. Obviously, this was something that need immediate testing.

Once again, Satou's thoughts turned to the inseparable duo, Akemi and Midori. At this time of day, most potential targets were already out of the building. While Satou didn't exactly hold a grudge against either girl, well...Akemi had laughed at him, after all. Besides, he had a magical notebook to make girls pee. This was not the time to question morals.

He picked up his pen, carefully made sure that no one was watching, and opened the Wet Note to its first page. Instantly he began brainstorming. For now, he decided to keep it simple, but it still needed to be specific enough to know for sure. He glanced up at the clock. It was almost 3:15, nearing the time when even the library would close up. At that point, the idea dawned on Satou. A specific time of wetting...that'd be the best way to make sure. Grinning to himself with the hint of a mastermind in his eyes, he put his pen to the paper, underneath the biology notes and both of Matsumoto-sensei's possible names.

Akemi Nakanoi. 3:25 PM, Today. In front of only Midori Tarumi and Satou Nakajima, in the hallway near Satou Nakajima's locker.

Satou was, obviously, still a bit uncomfortable and unsure about the use of the book, so he tried to be as descriptive as possible. Just as he finished writing, the pair of girls stood up, packed away their books, and exited the library. Satou took it as his sign, and, like the girls, gathered his books and exited the library.

3:23 PM.

“Any minute now...” Thought Satou, who'd been standing at his locker for at least five minutes now, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible. He tapped his foot anxiously and checked his watch. Still not quite time. Sighing, he absentmindedly shuffled around the items in his locker, trying to look convincingly busy.

“Ah...Midori-chan...why do you have to forget your stuff all the time? You should...be more careful...” A strained voice reached Satou's ears. Akemi's voice.

“Sorry, Akemi-chan~” Midori's voice responded cutely. “H-hey...you don't look so great...” She soon continued, voice sounding more worried than cute.

“It's nothing, it's nothing,” Akemi shakily assured, “I just gotta use the toilet pretty badly.” Obviously the two hadn't noticed Satou, speaking so frankly. The soon-to-be witness to a humiliating accident checked his watch. 3:24. Any minute now...

“Hmm...can't find it anywhere in here...” Midori sounded disappointed, oblivious to her friend's anguish.

“J-just...you can use mine!” The volume of Akemi's voice steadily rose as her level of panic increased. “Let's...come on! To the bathroom, now!” She slammed Midori's locker shut, and began pushing her in the direction of the toilets, a direction which, of course, crossed right in front of Satou's locker. Soon they'd notice him, and stop talking so casually about the situation, but if the note worked as described...modesty wouldn't matter.

Satou faced his locker, but kept his eyes turned toward the pair. Midori was leading the way, Akemi not far behind, walking with a pained expression on her face.

“You really are an idiot...dragging me back...” Akemi muttered angrily, hands pressed firmly at her side, thighs pressed firmly together. Satou was surprised that she kept a dignified look despite her desperation. A combination of her natural beauty, masterful use of makeup, and the school's elegant navy and white uniform gave her an aura of sophistication one wouldn't expect from someone so close to wetting themselves. By now, the girls had noticed Satou, silencing them both and deepening the red hue of Akemi's face.

“I can't...” Akemi gravely began to proclaim in a low whisper as she stopped walking.

“You can. We're close!” Midori interrupted, grabbing her best friend's sleeve and tugging, forcing Akemi to begin walking anew. Satou knew Midori had good intentions, but that tug would almost certainly be the--

“N-n-...” Akemi collapsed to her knees. Midori released her grip and spun around, eyes widened in realization of what she'd caused. Indeed, Akemi was seconds away from losing control, mere feet away from Satou's locker. The pained expression on her face disappeared, replaced, appropriately enough, with one of relief. Satou got the feeling that she could've walked a bit further, struggled against her urge a bit more, but in the end, resolved herself to her inevitable fate.

“I'm gonna...d-don't look...” Akemi managed to squeak out, lifting her skirt up to reveal already-damp pink panties. Not a second later, the panties were further darkened and soaked, golden liquid flowing through them, down her legs, and onto the floor. Midori, unable to look away, stared in shock as her best friend's pee splashed onto the tiled floors, creating a puddle large enough to reach the tip of Midori's shoe. Akemi's face remained calm, if ashamed, in stark contrast to Matsumoto-sensei's twisted expression of grief. Satou couldn't help but suspect this wasn't Akemi's first loss of control.

“I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...” Midori repeated over and over, her voice barely managing to cover the sounds made by Akemi's streaming liquid. For what seemed like an eternity, the pair of friends continued, Midori with her apologizing, and Akemi with her wetting. Satou only half-watched, not wanting to be noticed peeping, but neither could take their eyes off of each other to notice, anyway. Finally, after a chorus of finishing droplets falling into the puddle, Akemi stood up, letting her skirt back down.

“There's no way I can walk back home in these...” Akemi said, half sobbing. Satou turned his back on the pair as Akemi reached into her skirt and removed her soaked pink panties. His sudden movement, however, reminded the pair that he was there the entire time. Akemi's face, which had already been mildly red just from wetting in front of her friend, darkened even further as her eyes meant Satou's. She stepped over her own puddle, hid her soaked panties behind her back, and quickly walked toward the restrooms, leaving Midori behind.

“You saw...didn't you...?” Midori asked in a small voice, startling Satou. Girls rarely addressed him at all, let alone in situations like this. All he could muster in response was an ashamed nod.

“So...will you tell?” The girl continued, approaching Satou, carefully avoiding stepping in the puddle of urine left by her friend. Once again unable to say words, Satou just shook his head rapidly, a mild blush forming on his cheeks.

“Embarrassed? Well, I can understand why. I'm the same way.” Midori said, hands behind her back, as she stood next to Satou's locker. “Thanks. I'm sure Akemi will appreciate it...nice to know some gentleman still exist.” Her words only intensified Satou's blush. “As for the...mess...well, I'm sure the janitor will get it. Let's just...um...well, let's get out of here. Wouldn't want to be spotted at the scene of the crime, hm~?” Satou couldn't help but chuckle at Midori's attempt at a joke.

“Right. I'll...uh, I'll...get going. Umm...take care of her...” Satou managed to sputter out, unused to talking to anyone, especially girls.

“Mm, I will! Thanks again, um...what was your name?” Midori asked, scratching the back of her head.

“S-Satou. Satou Nakijima...” He replied, still embarrassed.

“Ah, right! English class~! Well, I'll catch you later, I guess. Time for some damage control...” She waved goodbye, then hurriedly walked toward the lady's toilets. Satou half-managed a wave, but only at her back. He couldn't help but think...Midori was a lot cuter than he'd first assumed. With one last look at the puddle Akemi left, one last recount of the scene, Satou shut his locker and headed for home.

5:22 PM

Satou lazily docked his bicycle outside his garage, ready to go to his room and think after such an exciting day. The cold November air bit his skin, once again making him regret having a large winter coat. He just wanted to go in to the nice, comfortable warmth...

Before he could enter his house, however, a figure caught Satou's eye. There was a person frantically searching his backyard, darting back and fourth and checking under and around various objects. Upon closer inspection, it was a girl, blonde hair bound in a bun and wearing a long, dark robe of some sort. Satou carefully approached the figure, who continued searching for...something, completely unaware of Satou's presence.

“Umm...excuse me?” Satou spoke, attempting to get the girl's attention.

“A-ah!” She turned around, mouth agape in shock. “W-what are you doing here?!” She had a cute voice, at least...

“It's kind of my house...” Satou replied sarcastically.

“Oh! Then...you can help me~!” The girl replied with a grin. “Have you seen a little black notebook lying around? It has white words on the front that say 'Wet Note'! It belonged to me, but...I seem to have lost it!”

Oh dear.

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