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female A desperate Khajiit's diary. A weird Skyrim playthrough/comic/story


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Foreword:

It has come to my attention that you can mod Skyrim to be a lot more realistic, peeing included. So I decided to have a new playthrough. And I somehow got the idea to write down Omoana's story like this. I am trying to roleplay as best as I can and pretend to be an actual adventurer, with manners, that likes to keep a diary. So, no peeing in front of people or places that could become dangerous very quickly. And now, let's get started.

Day 1:

This was supposed to be a calm week of camping. But as I heard the commotion and woke up to a creature that I ahve never seen before flying overhead, I knew I was in for trouble.

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I don't think anybody can blame me for what followed. Still standing in shock and awe, I felt something warm and wet snaking down my legs. I stopped myself before I made a real mess though.

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I quickly gathered my belongings and had the brilliant idea to head back to the place that creature came from. It had left Helgen a smoldering wreck, nobody left alive. Or so I thought, I met a man named Ralof in the caverns below and we made our way back to Riverwood. Hopefully these news would help, because I am sure I won't be much help. I can hold my own in a fight and hunt, but a dragon? That game is too large.

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I stopped for a quick drink at the river, something that would come back to bit me soon enough.

 

Following a rabbit, I accidentally stumbled into the Embershard mine and was promptly attacked by a band of rogue bandits. They stood no chance, despite my rather quickly growing need for relief. Had one close call as one of them swung his hammer and a sting of pain in my abdomen saw me lose focus for a second. Well, nothing a potion could not fix. I continued to clean up and felt the potion course through me and straight into my bladder.

 

Crossing their flimsy bridge, the tempting waterfall behind me, I gave in. I tore off my armor and shamelessly squatted right in the middle of the empty cave. There is something to be said about peeing from up high into a large body of water. The pitter patter intensifies into its very own waterfall.

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A minute later, I regretted my decision. I was thirsty and had just dirtied the only source of water around. Well, one bladder full won't do much harm to a body of water, this large.

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Day 2:

I had a nice nap in the cave, although I think I now smell of bandit sweat. In turn, I decided to do my morning business right there. The powerful stream of deep yellow completely drenched the furs and leather. A heavy scent filled the air, making it clear that this was now my mine.

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I did a lot on day two of my journey. I informed Riverwood and they promptly told me to speak to the Jarl of Whiterun. Don't think I am the right person for that, never thought much off lords and ladies. I helped the elf guy out with whatever in Talos name they got for that woman, and he decided to track along on another quest. Good hearted as I am I promised the shopkeep to retrieve something precious from the top of a very cold and very bandit filled mountain.

 

I had barely made it inside when I regretted putting adventure before basic needs. My bladder brimmed with a days worth of urine and threatened to spill with every further step I took. But I could not risk a squat when there were bandits around every corner, so I soldiered on.

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I am now sitting on an old chest a bit further in, waiting for my armor to stop dripping. MAybe this will serve as a lesson. You can not fight your body as well as you can fight bandits. I had just turned a corner when a very intense wave of urgency hit me like a hammer to the gut. I tried to stop the flow with my hand, but pressing on the armor plates just made it worse. A second later, all I felt was all encompassing relief as my overstretched bladder emptied itself hard against the leather. It just kep pouring and pouring, stained my fur and armor, but I just did not care. I even moaned in pleasure ( and wonder what the Elf though, he has not commented on it yet). And now, I have to clean up and prepare to head in deeper.

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I hope my 1 am ramblings are somewhat readable. xD Roleplaying the normal bladdered dragonborn sure is fun.

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Free from the burden of my throbbing bladder, I ventured deeper inside and found the thief. I should've known it would be spiders, I hate spiders. Its fangs got my leg good and I had to chug quite a few of my precious potions. My bladder won't like that.

 

With the thief dead, I recovered the claw and ventured deeper still. As it turns out, the claw was a key. And there, in the deepest,dankest depths of the cave, something curious happened. I found a wall with strange symbols. Never seen them before, but somehow it felt familiar, known, as if the knowledge had been burned straight into my mind. It's a word, but not just that, just thinking about it makes my throat quiver and clench and I can not speak it. Maybe I should ask a scholar about it.

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The draugr, that had waited until I had learned that word, nice guy, fell to a scroll of fireball I picked up on the way.

 

Thankfully, the exit was right there and I stepped into the cold outside. The sudden bite of cold reminded me of a pressing need and the drizzle of rain did not help either.

Nobody was around and the view exceptional, so I decided to add to the peltering rain myself. One of the skills an adventurer quickly picks up, is to urinate standing up.

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I have to admit that I got lost and stumbled right into a necromancers cave. His deadly ice magic tore into my already thin supply of potions.

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And as if a necromancer wasn't enough, I stumbled upon a witches cottage on my way back to Riverwood. I never knew this neck of the woods was filled with the likes of them. And to think that I was camping just an hour away.

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I tried my hands at some of the alchemical recipies I found, but my bladder had different ideas, it stopped me mid process as I had to grab myself to fight a rather intense wave of desperation. So I did the most logical thing and excused myself to water her garden.

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A few hours of uneventful walking later, I finally arrived back in Riverwood, delivered the claw and paid for a room in the local inn. After reading a few of the various journals and books I looted, my sly hands found their way further downwards. It had been a while since I had any relief of the more sensual kind, love is hard to find. I swallowed my moans as to not disturb the other guests and brought myself to a leg shaking orgasm. After which, I fell into bed.

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The night was shorter than expected, all these potions earlier had me nearly burst as I got up. And what is the deal with the lack of outhouses and bedpans around here? I figured the kettle would do in a pinch. The clena up however, I might just carefully empty it into the corner and wash it down with a jug of water.

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I'll say it again, roleplaying a semi-normal person in Skyrim is quite fun. Your bladder can really sneak up on you in these adventures.

The main mod I use for this is AlivePeeing and, since it needs that in the first place, SexLab.

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Day 3:

Preparations took me a while. Said goodbye to the Elf, picked up my old camp and when I left the village, the sun had already set.

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The way to Whiterun was pretty un-eventful. Well, unless you count the pack of wolves that attacked me just outside the village as an event. Every traveller in Tamriel has one of these stories to tell. The only thing that kept me company was my ever filling bladder and the concern about whether to pop a squat in the deepest night or just hold it until I reached Whiterun. I decided on the latter. On second thought, I should have chosen the former, because I barely made it up to the stable with my hand firmly planted in my crotch. Since it was night and the patrol far away, I decided to pop a squat right behind the building.

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Funnily enough, I met two people as I rounded the corner of the building. I am pretty sure that Uthgerd knew what I just did, not very hard to guess when somebody crawls out of the dark, straightening their clothes and has that relaxed smile on their face. Now, I don't know what was wrong with that woman, but she challenged me to a late night brawl, that I barely won.

 

Then she dragged me to a tavern, the only place even open this late or early. I met an interesting wizard lady, edwayn-something, can't remember these names. Now she liked wine. I like wine too, drinking it, so needless to say that we got along. But, I've got a problem with alcohol. Not drinking it, not drinking too much, but rather, it ending up on the ground faster than I'd like. All I'll say is that we talked for most of the night and I do not remember getting up from my bar stool even once. That still counts as spilled rinks though, right?ScreenShot18.thumb.png.b5c87879f559c44a02b2b00626bb4581.png

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Day 4:

I am once again sitting here in damp furs and I have to tell you, a lot of things happened. And by a lot, I mean too many for this small diary. After waking up with a terrible headache i delivered the message to the jarl and then, for some reason got roped into giving his court wizard an old stone I grabbed from that old tomb. And then, because of course that would happen to me, a dragon attacked. And I was supposed to help deal with it.

 

Irelith basically dragged me down towards the gates with her. Didn't even have time for a bathroom break, because I never have that. Sometimes I wonder if I am the only one with a need to pee out here. While the matter in my abdomen was quite a hassle and distracting, I figured I'd just go after we looked at a burned tower. I could slip away into the bushes there.

 

None of that happened. Two guards came running, screaming from the top of their lungs that "It wasn't gone". And then I heard it, a shattering roar, then I saw it,a dragon, an actual dragon and it came straight at us. I dived for cover and pulled out my bow. I was only barely aware of the hot wetness spreading around my bum as I hid and knocked the first arrow. For once I feel confident in saying that I probably was not the only one that wet themselves. One misstep and I was dead, flames engulfed the fields, teeth tore through armor like a hot knife through butter. We  fought from the shadows, pelting it with arrows from all sides while those brave or foolish enough stood up to its face with only a shield in hand. And, I still can not believe it, we killed itScreenShot19.thumb.png.f062a4e1c604dd2e98bffe23520588be.png

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Maybe it was luck, or fate, but it fell by my arrow and the body slumped down right in front of me. And then, it disintegrated. Now I am no expert, but dead bodies do not normally do that. And something they really should not do was pick me to disintegrate into! I felt pretty violated as fiery tendrils reached for my mind. I caught glimpses, glimpses of flight, of dead soldiers and most of all, language. A singular idea, a thought condensed into the word I learned from the wall in that crypt.

 

"Fus." I spoke the word as it came to me and by whatever gods are ready to deal with this, it was as though I blasted away everything in my path.

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The Nords had an idea. Dragonborn they called me. I am but a humble camper that wandered into skyrim for the sights and adventure. I am not some kind of local hero, and yet, I did just absorb a dragon. I need a nap.

 

I woke up very early, before the sun had even risen, in one of the beds in the destroyed tower. The guards did not mind, they were still obsessed with what happened to me. I am not so sure that  want any of that, I want to go my way, want to have my adventures. I snuck out from my admirers and showed the dragon what I though about it putting so much societal pressure on me. Now I can scratch "Pee on a dead dragon" from my bucket list. Guess I should report back to the jarl now.

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