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2 minutes ago, BladderLad said:

Thanks for the insight- have only ever heard female work colleagues mention before so not really able to discuss in detail! So nothing to do with bladder size? You could be affected even with an average/ large bladder??

They don't fully know what causes it, but the anatomy isn't different.

It's just how my body works. I often read people that try to create a "real" accident by holding to the brink and are frustrated that it never really happens. That tells me that they don't experience desperation the same as me. I'm pretty convinced the sudden jolt that I can get would cause pretty much anyone to struggle with control and likely experience the odd accident too.

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Definitely! But, as others have said, there isn't as much content out there. That's not to say there isn't any content out there, it's just that because there is a much smaller amount, the variety is limited. 

Along the lines of what others have mentioned, I do agree that there seems to be a discrepancy between how women's and men's desperation presents. I can really only speak on this anecdotally, but I feel that I have heard considerably less verbal declarations of needing to pee from men than women. I don't know if that's a matter of what's deemed more societally acceptable or what exactly.

I feel like I'd feel empathetic towards anyone who was desperate and didn't want to wet themselves because I'm a shy person who embarrasses very easily and would never want someone to feel awful for what they can't help. 

When it comes to watching omorashi content though, as a woman, I have a sort of physical empathy/enjoyment of what another woman is feeling. But, I don't know what desperation feels like for a guy but I'd be curious to. 

All this being said, I am noticing that there seems to be a slow but steady increase in desperation wetting videos of men in cars which is an interesting niche that I'm glad to see lmao. 

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je ne suis pas assez vieux pour dire de mon temps mais de mon expérience que j'ai peu observé depuis 10ans je trouve que le contenue diversifié se trouve plus facilement avant il existait mais soit il était payant soit était perdu sur un site assez obscure . . . 

et oui le contenue diversifié a permis a plus de personne de donner son avis et donc de créé encore plus de contenu diversifié !

j'ai l'espoir que dans les années a venir nous soit notre communauté deviennent plus actif en encouragent la partie silencieuse de la communauté a participé soit en augmentant naturellement la taille de notre communauté avec de plus en plus de personne intéressé ^^

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I'm not old enough to say of my time but from my experience I've observed over the last 10 years I find that diverse content is more easily found before it existed but either it was paid for or was lost on a rather obscure site . 

and yes the diversified content has allowed more people to give their opinion and therefore to create even more diversified content!

I hope that in the years to come we will either make our community more active by encouraging the silent part of the community to participate or by naturally increasing the size of our community with more and more people interested ^^

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On 9/6/2021 at 10:23 AM, NotARealName1 said:

All that said, I do think that there is a lack of male content because male bladder issues are less accepted by society than female issues are. I say this from the perspective of a male with OAB issues. I'm not going to suggest that if I was female that there wouldn't be shame and embarrassment associated with bladder control problems -- clearly there would be some -- but it is 100% is more acceptable. People make fun of the girl with the weak bladder; they think a male with a weak bladder is not a real man. 

So, basically, part of the reason there's less male content is because  men who have had an accident just keep it to themselves, where women often learn to laugh about it.

This is indeed an interesting point that I have noticed too. In the "female world" the subject of needing a pee and even having an accident is a common thing. It's like part of those difficulties of being female. When you would talk about this as a guy, most people start looking weird at you.

I have quite a small bladder, so I need to go pee quite frequently. It's always a bit of gamble to mention this, or to mention that I am really desperate. Some people react empathetic, but a large part give me a puzzled look. Like looking at me if I am serious.

It's even more divided when we talk about fidgeting or other expressions of desperation. If you are with a group in a car and a girl starts fidgeting and complaining about her need, it is seen as something "girly" and cute. She will get some gentle teases, but also lots of sympathy. If you do that as a guy, it's like people never have seen anything like that in their lives and they act a bit nervous and uncomfortable.

I carpooled with a female colleague to a course we had to do for work. Because of a strike in public transport, the traffic was huge and we got jammed for over an hour. I got seriously desperate from my morning tea - I had not calculated in such a long ride. To the point I just had to mention my urgent need to her because I was falling quite silent in the conversation. When we finally arrived with me bursting, we had to take an elevator up from the parking garage. It took some time to arrive and I just could not help myself from fidgeting on the spot, sighing "o god, I need to pee so bad!"
She burst into a laughter, saying: "My god, Dennis, you sound like a girrrlll!"

So it is seen as a more feminine thing. And if you are among men and need to pee badly on a car trip, they will use that to their advantage to put you down a bit. Like stretching the time to a pee pause even longer, so you are really desperate before they give in.

So indeed, I am more discreet too about my peeing troubles than my female friends, that often have no shame to just tell them among friends. I only tell them to people I can trust they won't be weirded out.

 

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@DespLoveDennis

"It's even more divided when we talk about fidgeting or other expressions of desperation. If you are with a group in a car and a girl starts fidgeting and complaining about her need, it is seen as something "girly" and cute. She will get some gentle teases, but also lots of sympathy. If you do that as a guy, it's like people never have seen anything like that in their lives and they act a bit nervous and uncomfortable."

I know we chatted about this and I do think that desperation is a feminine thing in general, like you said after I got my job and found myself desperate more frequently you said that it made me more feminine because I was dealing with that personally first on a regular basis now.


But I do think that it reminds me of another quote that I said about how men feel like a fish looking for a worm and women feel like the worm on a hook who was squirming around and feeling like they are a bunch of wiggling flesh.


That is what I think it goes back to, men are supposed to be always in control and sitting still and stoic and everything like that, where as women are just naturally squirmy and when a guy sees a woman squirming around he thinks jiggling female flesh! But when somebody sees a guy squirming around they think, does he have ants in his pants or something? I also think it might be somewhat safe to say that I think that women often are expected to be more at the mercy of their biology more than men.

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3 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

That is what I think it goes back to, men are supposed to be always in control and sitting still and stoic and everything like that, where as women are just naturally squirmy and when a guy sees a woman squirming around he thinks jiggling female flesh! But when somebody sees a guy squirming around they think, does he have ants in his pants or something? I also think it might be somewhat safe to say that I think that women often are expected to be more at the mercy of their biology more than men.

I have no doubt that woman are expected to be more at the mercy of their biology than men. I can think back in my experiences and recall multiple times when a female I've been around has expressed desperation and visually shown her need to pee. Bending, grabbing, even saying that she might pee her pants. Everyone just laughs and, more often than not, the desperation hasn't really ever crossed over into anything significant. They may have said they were close to an accident, or made a scene of it, but it never really was close. She wasn't desperate, so much as she was just slightly uncomfortable.

Contrast that to times I've been desperate. When it happens, I would probably only be obviously desperate to someone that is very tuned into what desperation looks like. I do not make over the top movements to hold on and I most certainly do not verbalize what is happening. I mostly just sit there as still as possible. Only when it gets bad will I bend forward, or press on myself to hold it. I can feel the stares and judgment when that happens. Occasionally, I have told someone that I badly needed to go to the bathroom and in all occasions they have been irritated and judgmental about it. 

It's just viewed differently.    

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To see a man desperate to pee is rare as they don’t show it In public often like pee dancing yet I did see a man with his female partner at night walking I presume home, as they passed a building hoarding her gestured with his hands he was going in behind it to pee and he slipped in, she stood waiting and she was flicking her heels up behind her generally shifting around I presumed she was desperate to pee to, when he returned they continued on their way she preferring to wait for a toilet I guess ?

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@NotARealName1

"I have no doubt that woman are expected to be more at the mercy of their biology than men. I can think back in my experiences and recall multiple times when a female I've been around has expressed desperation and visually shown her need to pee. Bending, grabbing, even saying that she might pee her pants. Everyone just laughs and, more often than not, the desperation hasn't really ever crossed over into anything significant. They may have said they were close to an accident, or made a scene of it, but it never really was close. She wasn't desperate, so much as she was just slightly uncomfortable."

I definitely think this is true as even occasionally when I have heard men peeing loudly after not being for a long time in most cases I would have never guessed they were desperate, as they didn't show any real visible signs. With women though there is often a lot of body movement and squirming around.


Again I think this is due to anatomy seeing as the men have longer urethras, which means that women feel the pressure twice as much in their bladders as men do, so there is actual research from urology that suggests that women actually do feel a full bladder more than men do and have a harder time holding it. And with a shorter tube like that the only way to take the pressure off a squirming around and crossing legs and doing the pee dance, where as with men they can usually just hold it in without so much dramatic motions.

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Well there seems to be general agreement here that it is less socially acceptable for a man to admit he needs to pee, let alone show obvious signs he is dying to pee! 😕😕    and it would appear that in this case, women can be as judgemental as men! 😠😠

Although as has just been pointed out ,  there may be biological  reasons a woman's desperation is more visible, plus the realty of it being both harder sometimes for a woman to find somewhere to pee.

Ironically this can frustrate a few women who  WANT to see a man visibly needing to pee, and are frustrated by such rare sightings.!  😐😐  I would be in interested to hear more from them.  😊😊

Some may feel empathy towards a full bladdered man, hoping he can hold his pee in, maybe trying to help him find somewhere to empty his bladder?

I know there are even a few women who admit that they find the sight of a man desperate to pee so arousing, that they wouldn't  want that man to pee (yet),  and ideally hold it in longer (for them?), loving to see his efforts visibly to hold his pee in.......as long as possible! 😈😈

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I have to admit that I can will ever seeing a man visibly desperate to pee even though I have seen numerous cases of women needing to pee, so it definitely is rather rare by comparison. How sympathetic I would be as hard to say, given that men can usually pee in so many situations when I cannot I feel like my sympathy might be less simply because there is that sort of vindictive attitude of at least a man is waiting for once. I don't find male desperation to be attractive but it is interesting to actually see the reverse situation like that just because of how rare it is.


I have to admit I think I am more inclined to be less sympathetic to women who have to go to the bathroom because again I feel we are in the same boat and that we are competing for the same toilets, plus I like seeing other women have to go to the bathroom! But I did bring this up in another thread where I think that women are less sympathetic towards other women having to pee than men are towards women who have to pee. Plus men can usually relieve themselves so it is strange to see a man in dire state of need, but pretty normal for women.

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Lots of interesting replies, but is there really a likely situation where a man would be absolutely desperate to pee and unable to find somewhere? Even in the most difficult of predicaments,  man can always find a place to go. You see young men especially downing pints of beer which will need to be let out later, but they will invariably find a solution to relieve themselves.

Has anyone ever actually seen a guy who is not into enjoying this sort of thing, unable to wait and have an accident? Very very unlikely.

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7 minutes ago, Guyandee said:

Lots of interesting replies, but is there really a likely situation where a man would be absolutely desperate to pee and unable to find somewhere? Even in the most difficult of predicaments,  man can always find a place to go. You see young men especially downing pints of beer which will need to be let out later, but they will invariably find a solution to relieve themselves.

Has anyone ever actually seen a guy who is not into enjoying this sort of thing, unable to wait and have an accident? Very very unlikely.

If a desperate man "finds a place to go" in public, he's taking a risk.  It's not just a charge of public urination (which happens fairly frequently), but in some cases a lewd act by exposing his penis, which makes him a sexual offender.  Having that on his record can have serious consequences for years.  I've seen men desperate to pee and not willing to take that chance.

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2 hours ago, Guyandee said:

Lots of interesting replies, but is there really a likely situation where a man would be absolutely desperate to pee and unable to find somewhere? Even in the most difficult of predicaments,  man can always find a place to go. You see young men especially downing pints of beer which will need to be let out later, but they will invariably find a solution to relieve themselves.

Has anyone ever actually seen a guy who is not into enjoying this sort of thing, unable to wait and have an accident? Very very unlikely.

3 times when I lived in London I saw young guys in wet jeans but never saw it actually happen!! 

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On 9/7/2021 at 6:12 AM, NotARealName1 said:

It's twofold -- yes, frequency is a significant part of it. The most significant, really. On a typical day I will need to go to the bathroom about 10-12 times. If I've had something trigger my bladder (certain food and drink do) that might go up as high as 20.

I don't consider those incidents as accidents because I've dealt with them my whole life, but to others they might be far more significant. They are concerning while happening, of course. I'm always aware that a fourth full on accident is probably in my future.

Edited to add this: I suspect my ability to hold urine is similar to non OAB folks. The issue is the spasm. It's like a fire hose and it is far harder to control than a normal full bladder. When I have leaks (and the full accidents) what's happened is that I got a double whammy --  a fairly full bladder already and than an intense urge hits at same time.  

Great explanation.  I suffer from the same thing and have since I was a kid.  Some days everything is normal, then some days I have to go constantly, but the volume is much lower.  I can hold well over a liter on a good day, and on a bad day maybe not even 400ml.  I have had to stop the car at the side of the road and couldn't even get around the passenger side to unzip before I was wetting.

The issue that I've noticed as time goes on is the spasms have slowly gotten worse in every way.  It's not a good recipe.  They come on faster, they're stronger, and the duration has increased.  I can usually clamp down pretty well, but my bladder contracts like crazy when it's nearing full.  If this starts happening when I'm not near a bathroom, I know where it's going to end up.  At that point I quickly find the nearest discreet/private spot and let the full accident happen.

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On 9/12/2021 at 10:28 AM, Guyandee said:

Has anyone ever actually seen a guy who is not into enjoying this sort of thing, unable to wait and have an accident? Very very unlikely.

Well..yeah, me.

Like I outlined above there's a difference between the feeling of having to pee when you've just help it for a long time and when a legit urge hits. Imagine someone turning the hose on full suddenly and with very little warning. You have to squeeze with everything you have and sometimes it's just not enough. Usually it's a minor thing and you get control before it becomes a significant issue, but, well...in my experience, not always.

As I type this I'm remembering the last full accident I had (at my door, walking home, about 3 years ago). All I can say is that I was squeezing as hard as I could and it just wasn't  stopping. Like, there was nothing I could have done. Seriously. 

I get that it isn't common, but it's also not never. As someone with OAB, I have educated myself about it a lot -- OAB in men is under reported.  Men who struggle with it, hide it. And, you can. As I've admitted on here, I've had three full on accidents as an adult, but two of the three were in a situation where no one other than myself was aware. I suspect I'm typical. It's the same with women, but women are far more likely to admit it happened after the fact (based on my observation) so we assume that it happens to them more.

I suspect the numbers are similar, but men just never tell anyone.

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  • 3 months later...
On 9/5/2021 at 9:52 AM, Mbgpeelover said:

Yes yes yes! I love seeing a man desperate, the longer he holds the better! I often write about desperate men as much as woman because there’s never enough stories, videos, or real experiences related to men! 

If I wet my pants in school again in my next lifetime, you're the sort I would want to be among my classmates.

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