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I can't speak to what women want/think since I am not one. However, I can speak to my general interest in male wetting.

It's not my primary interest, but it's not something I have no interest in. As I've written here before, I believe our sexuality is on a spectrum and very, very few of us are 100% hetro/homo. We all are a little bi, basically. With me, it's truly a "little," but it's not zero. So, yeah, the occasional male wetting is of interest. I've been around enough blocks that I have no hangups about this. At all.

That said, to be more serious than maybe you wanted, in most male wetting scenarios that I engage with I typically imagine myself as being the male involved. There's a car video of a guy in grey pants that is a favourite. I'm sure some know it.

All that said, I do think that there is a lack of male content because male bladder issues are less accepted by society than female issues are. I say this from the perspective of a male with OAB issues. I'm not going to suggest that if I was female that there wouldn't be shame and embarrassment associated with bladder control problems -- clearly there would be some -- but it is 100% is more acceptable. People make fun of the girl with the weak bladder; they think a male with a weak bladder is not a real man. 

Google Overactive Bladder and you'll see page after page of support for women, but what male content is out there is mostly focused on prostate issues and men over 65. That's despite the fact that I know I'm not alone. What makes me rare isn't a weak bladder, it's that I admitted it to a doctor (and truthfully I'm not sure I would have if I wasn't diagnosed when I was young.) 

So, basically, part of the reason there's less male content is because  men who have had an accident just keep it to themselves, where women often learn to laugh about it.

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10 hours ago, NotARealName1 said:

I can't speak to what women want/think since I am not one. However, I can speak to my general interest in male wetting.

It's not my primary interest, but it's not something I have no interest in. As I've written here before, I believe our sexuality is on a spectrum and very, very few of us are 100% hetro/homo. We all are a little bi, basically. With me, it's truly a "little," but it's not zero. So, yeah, the occasional male wetting is of interest. I've been around enough blocks that I have no hangups about this. At all.

That said, to be more serious than maybe you wanted, in most male wetting scenarios that I engage with I typically imagine myself as being the male involved. There's a car video of a guy in grey pants that is a favourite. I'm sure some know it.

All that said, I do think that there is a lack of male content because male bladder issues are less accepted by society than female issues are. I say this from the perspective of a male with OAB issues. I'm not going to suggest that if I was female that there wouldn't be shame and embarrassment associated with bladder control problems -- clearly there would be some -- but it is 100% is more acceptable. People make fun of the girl with the weak bladder; they think a male with a weak bladder is not a real man. 

Google Overactive Bladder and you'll see page after page of support for women, but what male content is out there is mostly focused on prostate issues and men over 65. That's despite the fact that I know I'm not alone. What makes me rare isn't a weak bladder, it's that I admitted it to a doctor (and truthfully I'm not sure I would have if I wasn't diagnosed when I was young.) 

So, basically, part of the reason there's less male content is because  men who have had an accident just keep it to themselves, where women often learn to laugh about it.

There is a double standard.  Women who wet themselves are likely to get sympathy.  Men who wet themselves are scorned and/or made fun of.  Someone will find a toilet for a lady in distress, but often men are expected to hold it or to fend for themselves.  

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j'ai du mal a imaginé qu'une femme puis (me) trouver  attirant en étant désespéré ou mouillé 😕

c'est une des choses qui me rendre triste avec ce fetishiste c'est que j'arrive pas a imaginé un futur ou je partage ces gouts avec une fille par ce que c'est des gouts qui ne sont que très peu partagé cher les femmes  . . .

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I find it hard to imagine that a woman could find ( me ) attractive by being desperate or wet 😕
It's one of the things that makes me sad about this fetishist is that I can't imagine a future where I share these tastes with a girl because these are tastes that are very rarely shared by women . . .

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3 hours ago, Spectator9 said:

There is a double standard.  Women who wet themselves are likely to get sympathy.  Men who wet themselves are scorned and/or made fun of.  Someone will find a toilet for a lady in distress, but often men are expected to hold it or to fend for themselves.  

Not sure if I'd call it a double standard, but it's absolutely viewed differently. There's an acceptance that women have "small bladders" (which isn't always the case, of course) so people will go out of their way to help a desperate woman. They may gently tease them, or laugh *with* them, but a woman showing viable desperation or saying something like "I'm going to pee my pants" isn't treated with scorn.

Again, a woman that experiences this is still going to feel embarrassed and shame, but there isn't a...hatred, or anger at them.

In my experience, there is with men. I've only had one legit accident in front of people and that was, all things considered, fine (I knew them and they were sympathetic), but I've been viably desperate many times and the looks I get are outright hateful and disgusted if they figure out what's happening. I try to hide my public desperation as much as possible for that reason.

The stats say about 10% of men have OAB. I suspect that's under reported.  It's probably closer to 20%. And, if you have OAB you've. at the very least, been very desperate to pee in public at least once. There's probably a slightly higher percentage of women because of pregnancy, but it's not that much different and it's a bit unfair to not treat anyone in that situation with sympathy and compassion.

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1 hour ago, peelion said:

j'ai du mal a imaginé qu'une femme puis (me) trouver  attirant en étant désespéré ou mouillé 😕

c'est une des choses qui me rendre triste avec ce fetishiste c'est que j'arrive pas a imaginé un futur ou je partage ces gouts avec une fille par ce que c'est des gouts qui ne sont que très peu partagé cher les femmes  . . .

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I find it hard to imagine that a woman could find ( me ) attractive by being desperate or wet 😕
It's one of the things that makes me sad about this fetishist is that I can't imagine a future where I share these tastes with a girl because these are tastes that are very rarely shared by women . . .

Putting what I said above aside for a second...I can't speak to whether they'd find it attractive.  That woman is probably a unicorn, you're right. But, on a personal level i suspect you'd find most woman you have a relationship with to be  very sympathetic and supportive of a desperation/wetting situation. In general, woman have a sense of compassion and empathy that we idiot men could learn from.

It's the strangers that are bad...

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21 hours ago, Euin said:

I would like to but Ive never met or talked to a guy who can feel that sort of desperation and/or wet themselves. Its kind of weird but I think its because men has a secondary muscle

Heh, I don’t get that. I’ve wet myself before and seen other guys desperate before. I figure anyone who has a bladder knows what it’s like to have it fill up! 

7 hours ago, imleaking said:

I definitely do! I try to write as much male desperation I can bc of the lack of content. 

Thanks for that! I like variety.

 

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I think sympathy for desperate people tends to go along gender lines based on sexual attraction to a large degree. I have had a lot of discussions with somebody and we came to the conclusion that a lot of times men will help a desperate women out of a sense of chivalry, where as people are more likely to be more judgmental towards people of the same sex for not being able to hold it, and I have noticed that women seem to be a bit more sadistic and judgmental towards other women needing to go to the bathroom than men are towards women.


But I think that a lot of men are just more likely to make fun of each other and be cruel to each other than women tend to be in general. With guys they always have to be constantly proving that they are a man and to never show any sign of weakness, like everything is a contest.

Personally I have always been mostly just into female desperation because to me desperation does come across as sort of a feminine thing in a lot of ways. But again I'm a lesbian, so I just don't have any attraction to men in general. And it does seem strange when you actually see male desperation seeing as men can usually relieve themselves fairly easily in most situations.

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42 minutes ago, DesperateJill said:


But I think that a lot of men are just more likely to make fun of each other and be cruel to each other than women tend to be in general. With guys they always have to be constantly proving that they are a man and to never show any sign of weakness, like everything is a contest.

Personally I have always been mostly just into female desperation because to me desperation does come across as sort of a feminine thing in a lot of ways. But again I'm a lesbian, so I just don't have any attraction to men in general. And it does seem strange when you actually see male desperation seeing as men can usually relieve themselves fairly easily in most situations.

You're 100% right that other men would be cruel. I am very thankful that my only accident I had in front of people was with women. They were protective. Men would have just made fun of me and would have likely shared the story with others. As far as I know the two women that were with me never told anyone. For similar reason's, the only people I've talked about my OAB issues with have been women.

I think you're onto something by suggesting that wetting somehow seems feminine, at least as far as traditional gender roles go. A man who wets his pants, or even comes close to, is seen as weak. Meanwhile, a woman that does so is something that a man wants to protect and help. Obviously, that's a broad stroke and there will be individual men/women/others that will fall outside their expected norms. But, from a societal level those stereotypes still hold weight.

Finally, yes it is *slightly* easier for a man to relieve himself in public, but if you live in a city it can still be difficult to find a spot, especially during the day. You're also not thinking straight when you're close to an accident. The two times I've lost control at my door/outside the bathroom I was outside before and probably should have found a tree. However, it honestly didn't occur to me on either occasion. I was only focused on holding it until I got home. I suspect it might have ended the same way it did anyway if I tried. Body would have gave out when I went to undue my pants, probably.   

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15 minutes ago, NotARealName1 said:

You're 100% right that other men would be cruel. I am very thankful that my only accident I had in front of people was with women. They were protective. Men would have just made fun of me and would have likely shared the story with others. As far as I know the two women that were with me never told anyone. For similar reason's, the only people I've talked about my OAB issues with have been women.

I think you're onto something by suggesting that wetting somehow seems feminine, at least as far as traditional gender roles go. A man who wets his pants, or even comes close to, is seen as weak. Meanwhile, a woman that does so is something that a man wants to protect and help. Obviously, that's a broad stroke and there will be individual men/women/others that will fall outside their expected norms. But, from a societal level those stereotypes still hold weight.

Finally, yes it is *slightly* easier for a man to relieve himself in public, but if you live in a city it can still be difficult to find a spot, especially during the day. You're also not thinking straight when you're close to an accident. The two times I've lost control at my door/outside the bathroom I was outside before and probably should have found a tree. However, it honestly didn't occur to me on either occasion. I was only focused on holding it until I got home. I suspect it might have ended the same way it did anyway if I tried. Body would have gave out when I went to undue my pants, probably.   

Can you give me more insight into OAB? Is it that your muscles won’t let you hold as much- I thought it was a frequent urge issue rather than the amount you can hold? And you are right- I have only heard females discuss it before!

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@NotARealName1

"I think you're onto something by suggesting that wetting somehow seems feminine, at least as far as traditional gender roles go. A man who wets his pants, or even comes close to, is seen as weak. Meanwhile, a woman that does so is something that a man wants to protect and help. Obviously, that's a broad stroke and there will be individual men/women/others that will fall outside their expected norms. But, from a societal level those stereotypes still hold weight."

I think that when a woman is desperate to go to the bathroom it triggers that damsel in distress response that men want to help her. I mean maybe it's a stereotype but I think that a lot of men just find that attractive in general. I do think that a woman is sort of allowed to be vulnerable and desperate and that is seen as normal, although the irony is I think that women are the one who have to be stronger to endure a full bladder in most cases, given the lack of chances to relieve themselves, as I have said in numerous posts of mine. Women are the ones who are expected to stoically hold a full bladder due to circumstance most of the time.


Society may be more forgiving of a woman who wets herself or can't control herself, but society also is more expecting of her to hold in situations where men often aren't. But it's true that men are always expected to be in control whether that is a bladder or otherwise.

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24 minutes ago, BladderLad said:

Can you give me more insight into OAB? Is it that your muscles won’t let you hold as much- I thought it was a frequent urge issue rather than the amount you can hold? And you are right- I have only heard females discuss it before!

It's twofold -- yes, frequency is a significant part of it. The most significant, really. On a typical day I will need to go to the bathroom about 10-12 times. If I've had something trigger my bladder (certain food and drink do) that might go up as high as 20.

There are two types of OAB -- OAB-D and OAB-W. Dry and Wet. I think you can figure out the difference.

OAB-W involves some form of Urge Incontinence. The bladder spasms, which causes a sudden and urgent need to go. When that happens and you already have a full bladder it can be a real struggle. I've detailed the major incidents I've had a few times, so I wont go into detail again, but the take away is that it's a rare event. What's less rare is to have an urge hit when you're not immediately near a bathroom. That can cause some leakage before you get to the bathroom - anything from a dribble that barely dampens my underwear, to losing control for a second or so and having a small wet spot visible on my pants. That happens maybe 2-3 times a year. and almost always at my door or as I'm entering a bathroom.  I don't consider those incidents as accidents because I've dealt with them my whole life, but to others they might be far more significant. They are concerning while happening, of course. I'm always aware that a fourth full on accident is probably in my future.

Edited to add this: I suspect my ability to hold urine is similar to non OAB folks. The issue is the spasm. It's like a fire hose and it is far harder to control than a normal full bladder. When I have leaks (and the full accidents) what's happened is that I got a double whammy --  a fairly full bladder already and than an intense urge hits at same time.  

Edited by NotARealName1 (see edit history)
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8 minutes ago, NotARealName1 said:

It's twofold -- yes, frequency is a significant part of it. The most significant, really. On a typical day I will need to go to the bathroom about 10-12 times. If I've had something trigger my bladder (certain food and drink do) that might go up as high as 20.

There are two types of OAB -- OAB-D and OAB-W. Dry and Wet. I think you can figure out the difference.

OAB-W involves some form of Urge Incontinence. The bladder spasms, which causes a sudden and urgent need to go. When that happens and you already have a full bladder it can be a real struggle. I've detailed the major incidents I've had a few times, so I wont go into detail again, but the take away is that it's a rare event. What's less rare is to have an urge hit when you're not immediately near a bathroom. That can cause some leakage before you get to the bathroom - anything from a dribble that barely dampens my underwear, to losing control for a second or so and having a small wet spot visible on my pants. That happens maybe 2-3 times a year. and almost always at my door or as I'm entering a bathroom.  I don't consider those incidents as accidents because I've dealt with them my whole life, but to others they might be far more significant. They are concerning while happening, of course. I'm always aware that a fourth full on accident is probably in my future.

Edited to add this: I suspect my ability to hold urine is similar to non OAB folks. The issue is the spasm. It's like a fire hose and it is far harder to control than a normal full bladder. When I have leaks (and the full accidents) what's happened is that I got a double whammy --  a fairly full bladder already and than an intense urge hits at same time.  

Thanks for the insight- have only ever heard female work colleagues mention before so not really able to discuss in detail! So nothing to do with bladder size? You could be affected even with an average/ large bladder??

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