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female Do you feel guilt, shame?


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1 minute ago, lovetohold said:

I have times when I engage in an EXTREME amount of solo play, too! Never using a toilet, multiple orgasms throughout the day, as many holds as I can safely do until I'm squirting pee into my pants uncontrollably...but it's a few hours a day, and the rest of the day is productive. To an extent, though, I know what you mean. 

 

Also, to answer this thread overall, I used to feel shame, because of how taboo this is. 

Knowing how common this fetish is helped ease the shame. 

Also, the older I get (I'm in my early thirties), the less I care. Find out I like it, and you think it's gross? Then don't engage in it yourself. Whatever.
Potential love interest hates omo? Okay, we move on.

This is well said.  It also took me a long time to be comfortable with all this.  

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I grew up with a mother who was very much into causing me to have accidents then both shaming me and showing great caring and affection when I did pee in my pants. When I was 11 1/2 I became addicted to the feeling of release after holding until I lost control. I only had “accidents” after I started my first year of kindergarten when I was at home or with my mother and sisters. I was ashamed that I like holding and wetting, but I also wished I could go back to wearing diapers. I stopped wetting just before I turned 14. When I went to college I saw two women friends have wetting accidents then I had 3 wetting accidents and a night in health center diapers that year. The woman who “caused” my accidents had an accident herself. She thought she had hidden her accident while laughing at me for having an accident. The next year I had a girlfriend who was so shy she did not tell me she had to go to the bathroom until she was obviously desperate.(a long time ago when college dorms were segregated, all men or all women on a floor). She didn’t like any of the arrangements I could make so I walked her to her dorm, 5 blocks away. She didn’t make it but her skirt stayed dry. She seemed so traumatized that on Sunday afternoon, when no dinner was served in the cafeteria, I made her go on a long walk to a distant secluded part of the sprawling campus. I had set up me so that an “accident” was likely. After we had been out until near sundown I demonstrated that she wasn’t the only person who had accidents. So I could overcome my shame and embarrassment. .I peed in my pants 3 times each of my first 2 years in college and I think 5 times my third year. In my 4th year of college I made friends with one woman in my dorm who had UI or SI, and we did a lot of things together in which one or the other or both of us would be wet. She did not enjoy wetting so I had to act like I did not enjoy it either. I also had a woman friend that year and the 2 years after I finished college. I saw wet her pants on the way home after parties, and as a party broke up in her apartment. She did not like rest stop or gas station restrooms, and we did 2 drives of roughly 750 miles each way. One was a drive to her parents. When we got there her mother mad no fuss, just told her she knew what to do. I stayed dry until on the drive back she didn’t want to stop. I recognized that holding to the point of wetting could be a substitute fir sexual activity. I went to a New Years party in which I got very very drunk. On New Year’s Day I had wet pants 5 times before I made it to the toilet in time. On Jan. 2 I discovered that plastic panties for “over 35 pounds” fit over my briefs and did not leak until they contained a full bladder full. A new world opened for me, but I mostly used them for late night walks. I kept the secret from everyone I knew.
 

Then 6 years after that I shared an apartment with a woman who worked as an on call nurse for a big hospital chain. She could talk endlessly about people, her coworkers, friends, etc.(but not her) wetting their pants. She got home one night not expecting me to be up and there was a large yellow area at her crotch and and butt and down the insides of her legs. She also introduced me to a magazine, Penthouse Forum with stories of sexual activities, and letters from readers. She described one letter in which a woman had written about the day she had more coffee than usual band got stuck in a traffic jam. She was a block or two from home when she had a choice, run the red light and maybe get home in time or stop and wet her pants. She stopped at the red light. She got home, parked her car and was ready to get out when her husband arrived, went to her car and opened her door. He stared at what he saw then she saw a wet spot appear that rapidly grew around his crotch and down his legs and a puddle formed. They became otherwise engaged and did not eat dinner. After that frequently on weekends one or the other would suddenly have an “accident” followed by great sex. The on call nurse and I had a holding contest that we declared to be a tie, with both of us denied access to the toilet for 24 hours. The next day we were eating lunch and each of us told the other we were wet. Just after lunch there was a knock at the door. She told me she forgot she had invited a friend. While I hid she answered the door wearing her wet shorts. He came in and I heard him say that he needed to use the bathroom otherwise his bladder would empty itself. This guy had been around before and had told me his bladder was going to empty itself soon. All of these things showed me that I was not a unique in all the world unworthy freak of nature. I felt liberated. My girlfriend at the time was repulsed by my “accidents”. I broke up with her after I met my future wife. After she had what she called a very very close call (to this day, 40+ years later I am convinced she did wet her pants) I had at least one accident ever weekend for the next 3  months, and after a break of a month had several accidents on our honeymoon. These were all kept private with some risk of being seen by outsiders. After we got home I stayed dry for about 3 months when the addiction came back and on a weekend night took her on a long walk after my bladder had filled. We talked after my “accident” and she bought toddler sized cloth diapers and adult sized plastic panties for me. 

So anyone who reads this will see the evolution of my feelings. I did feel guilt and shame and wanted to get rid of my addiction but it took a spinal cord injury that caused me to be diapered 24/7 for me to lose all sense of guilt. 

 

Edited by scinosensation (see edit history)
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On 8/28/2021 at 11:22 AM, Shoshana said:

Everyone here seems comfortable with their fetish and open about it. But I was wondering if anyone, for whatever reason, feels guilt or shame while or after they hold or pee. And where do you think that's from?

No... I mean, I'm just a watcher.

Still can feel shame for having this fetish, and the answer is no, because is normal, the point is in the measure.

This also happends with the feets, yeah, legs are cute, but if you REALLY enjoy that, like seeing tits, so there is where you can feel "Shame" but still, depends on person.

 

For example, who doesn't enjoy to see your couple taking a piss after sex? Even if you dont had a "Omorashi Fetish tags" (Watersport, ashaming, etc.) You can like that.

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@Shoshana

"That sounds intense! Have you had one of these binges recently?"

In the beginning of the month which I blame on my job because then I end up getting desperate at work involuntarily and then that puts me totally in desperation mode and it's hard to think about anything else. But then I got sick and that sort of kills my fetish binge as always tends to be the case. So this month was kind of a loss as a result of that between that and being sick. So I feel bad about how little I accomplished this month.

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It depends on what specifically we are talking about. Am I ashamed that I'm turned on by this? No, not really shamed. Confused sometimes, but not ashamed. I can't control it. It's just part of me, so feeling ashamed is a wasted emotion.

Am I ashamed while engaging in the kink? Different question. When it comes to my wetting/desperation, part of the turn on is the shame. As I'm written before, I have OAB and, as a result, have had bladder issues throughout my life. I legitimately feel shame/embarrassment about that on occasion and, although I eventually do get aroused at the memory of that, I truly am ashamed/mortified/frantic at the time. If I wasn't terrified of embarrassing myself I don't think it would be a turn on. I don't want to have an accident even though I know that I would eventually find the memory arousing.

So much so that I get really frantic and single-minded about finding a bathroom when things even slightly start to act up. Actually happened today -- like a 4/10 situation, but still. I was on a subway at about 6pm when I felt the urge. I was 7 stops from home and pulled into a stop that has a bathroom. I was debating getting off but thought it would be fine. As we were pulling out of the station I started to panic that I had misjudged. That, in turn, made me feel that I had to go worse. Started to squirm and subtly hold myself. Two stops later, I jumped up and left the subway because I knew there was a public bathroom outside the subway. Made it without incident, but I was embarrassed that I was viably desperate and that I had briefly held myself. Would I have made it home? Probably. I've only had a legit accident three times as an adult and the few times a year I dribble I have to go much worse than I did today, but the worry of it made everything worse. And, that's all rooted in a fear and shame of having someone see me have an accident.

When it comes to watching others desperate/having an accident. I don't feel shame, but I do feel a need to hold myself to a few ethical rules. Basically, I can never put myself into the situation. The person should not be aware that I am aroused by the situation and if that's going to be difficult I need to remove myself from the situation (not that public sightings are all that common, but when they happen I'll watch from a distance and won't go out of the way to follow them or move to a better viewing spot). When I've been with people that have become desperate I go out of my way to help them find a place to go. If they were to have an accident, I'd make sure I was not viably aroused (which might require me leaving tbh -- hasn't happened yet in a way where I saw it coming (saw desperation) so I'm not sure how well this would go, but when I've been around people that have had an accident, I've managed to control myself). So long as I follow these rules, I do not feel ashamed about being turned on about it. In terms Of watching videos of strangers having accidents -- no shame. They posted it. But, for the love of God, do not interact with them in the comments. That's creepy.     

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I can't separate my answer from what it would be if you asked about sexual feelings altogether.  Which is "no, no guilt" but a huge potential for social embarrassment if anyone found out.  And that was my attitude towards my fascinations as a 9-10 year old child, because I had *no idea* anyone else, *ever* had had such feelings.

 

I didn't have sexual interests and feelings and then later, on top of that or as a kinky subset of that or whatever, also develop specific omorashi fascinations.  Instead, I had sexually eroticized feelings *about the place girls pee from*, about the shape of them there, and since at that age that's what you associate those body parts with, not reproduction (even though I knew "how babies get made" in a clinical sense), all the eroticized interest in control and urge and loss of control and "doing unto someone" got wrapped up with wetting, wanting to see girls desperate and then wetting themselves, wanting to make that happen somehow.

 

I recognized it as harmless.  I mean, I wasn't going to ACT on it!  I just couldn't let anyone know, ever.  I didn't know the word "pervert" but I had no trouble understanding the concept immediately.  So.. harmless perversion.  Not just omorashi, but the whole bundle. 

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I get what you mean, I totally experience it. It usually comes after I wet. I think it comes from that "post nut clarity" where I wet, and then usually masturbate. After finishing, I go back into normal brain mode, and think "I can't believe I just did that, I'm so gross." That's usually where the shame comes in, and for me it's not like a good type of shame.

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13 minutes ago, amasonbo1 said:

I get what you mean, I totally experience it. It usually comes after I wet. I think it comes from that "post nut clarity" where I wet, and then usually masturbate. After finishing, I go back into normal brain mode, and think "I can't believe I just did that, I'm so gross." That's usually where the shame comes in, and for me it's not like a good type of shame.

 

I really like that phrase, "post nut clarity." It's like waking up in the morning after being very drunk the night before.  What did you mean by not a good type of shame? I never thought of shame as being positive, unless I guess the person likes the feeling of shame.

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I don’t feel ashamed anymore since I dated a young woman who I could share my kink with.

In the early start of our 1-year relationship, she told me that she recognized the feeling that my orgasms feel so much better with a full bladder. She told me for her it was exactly the same, and she sometimes also delayed peeing for better orgasms during her masturbation sessions.


During a sexting session, I told her that I sometimes intentionally pee on the edge of my orgasm - instead of ejaculating. She confessed this thought turned her on. She wanted to see it, to feel it, to experience it, and we started experimenting with full bladder sex and peeing during our real life sex. She loved to see me peeing with my erection, feeling my hot spray against her swollen clit and abdomen.

During her own masturbation sessions, she started experimenting with trying to pee while orgasming - which wasn’t easy for her. After a while, she managed to let loose a small trickle just before or during her orgasm.

Once I asked her if she thought my kink was weird. ‘No’, she said, ‘it’s special, you know very well what feels best for you, be proud on it. I love it that we trust eachother so much that you share it with me, I recognize the better-orgasm-with-full-bladder feelings, I also want to be able to pee when aroused. I like sex best when it’s wet and messy, so… no, it’s definitely not something you should feel ashamed of… and please know that I think it’s very very very sexy…’

Unfortunately we had to break up for various reasons, but 3 months after our breakup, she confessed me that sometimes she still masturbated to the pee videos I made for her during our sexting sessions.

This relationship felt as a relief. It convinced me I’m not the only one, that exploring my kink might arouse and inspire others, and that I should be proud on it, instead of ashamed. 

 

Edited by StephenLion (see edit history)
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19 hours ago, Shoshana said:

 

I really like that phrase, "post nut clarity." It's like waking up in the morning after being very drunk the night before.  What did you mean by not a good type of shame? I never thought of shame as being positive, unless I guess the person likes the feeling of shame.

Well I don't know, I think that some people in the kink world look at shame as a something that might turn them on, but to me when I'm done peeing and all that and I'm left sitting in a pair of piss soaked pants I start wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. Some might look at it in a way where it's "oh, I shouldn't have done that. How naughty!" But I look at it more like "I shouldn't have done that, this is gross."

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7 hours ago, amasonbo1 said:

Well I don't know, I think that some people in the kink world look at shame as a something that might turn them on, but to me when I'm done peeing and all that and I'm left sitting in a pair of piss soaked pants I start wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. Some might look at it in a way where it's "oh, I shouldn't have done that. How naughty!" But I look at it more like "I shouldn't have done that, this is gross."

 

On 9/7/2021 at 7:52 PM, Shoshana said:

 

I really like that phrase, "post nut clarity." It's like waking up in the morning after being very drunk the night before.  What did you mean by not a good type of shame? I never thought of shame as being positive, unless I guess the person likes the feeling of shame.

Yes, some people get a sort of "naughty pleasure" in things like wetting.

As to the "not good type", you don't have to feel that. Someone somewhere decided it was "taboo" or "disgusting", doesn't mean it has to be (though of course many of us, myself included, still don't want to be seen wetting ourselves). Lots of people here wet for fun and it's all harmless fun. But I know, I've been there too and fought it for years before embracing it.

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