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Parents reaction when you needed to pee as a child


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Earlier this week I went to collect my child from high school. Another mum was there two with her two boys in school uniform from a nearby school which I knew finished half an hour previously. One of the boys, aged about 9/10 was very fidgety, dancing around and several times holding his crotch discreetly. He was doing a very obvious pee pee dance. He went up towards his mum and asked when his sister was coming out and said he really needed the toilet. 
What struck me most was the mum’s reaction. She seemed to not be concerned at all just answering that his sister would be out at 3:30 and not even responding or commenting on his very obvious need to pee. 
The boy continued pee dancing and moaning to his younger brother how he hadn’t used the toilet at school all day and he’d forgotten his sister was at the new school and not his (this was just the 3rd day back to term) now and he thought they would be going straight home. The mum would clearly have heard her son but chose to just ignore him completely which I thought was strange. 
The sister came out and they all set off walking for home. I passed them later in my car and the lad was openly holding himself as they walked. They had walked past a supermarket with toilets and I couldn’t help thinking why the mum hadn’t let him use their loos. 
 

in contrast my own mum was more anxious and would almost panic if me or my siblings said we had to pee. She would stop everything and ficus entirely on finding us a loo. In the situation above she’d probably have found a teacher and very embarrassingly insisted we were allowed in to use the high school toilets even at 9. 
 

if you were ever publicly bursting and with your parents as a child how did they respond? I’m sure the mum above really cared for her son but maybe she was embarrassed herself by his behaviour or felt he had no choice but to hold? 
 

I do hope he made it home though in time! I could certainly empathise with him as I was always desperate after school like he was. 

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I've thought about this a lot and I think this may be (at least partly) where my omo fetish comes from. My parents, particularly my mum, were really strict while I was growing up and if I said that I needed the toilet their reaction was usually something like 'tough, hold it', or 'tie a knot in it'. On long car journeys they refused to stop on the way so I'd always have to hold on until we finally got to our destination. If we were visiting family, I wouldn't be allowed to go to the toilet straight away after arriving as it was 'rude', so I had to wait until an 'appropriate' time to ask arose later.

I feel sorry for the boy you mentioned as I've been in that situation so many times, coming out of school bursting for the toilet but then having to wait ages while my mum drove to a different school to pick up my younger brother, or straight into town to an appointment or to the shops before they closed. I remember once playing in a school concert and afterwards begging my parents to let me go back into school and use the toilets because I was desperate to pee, but them refusing because it was late and they wanted to get home. I even pleaded to be allowed to pee in the car park but of course they made me wait until we arrived home, where I literally had to run to the toilet because I was close to wetting myself.

I also remember getting home from school one day, bursting for a wee as usual after waiting all day, but my mum wouldn't let me go because I'd misbehaved really badly (can't remember exactly what, but I know it was bad) and she wanted to tell me off. She made me sit on the sofa and wouldn't let me leave despite me telling her I was desperate for a wee, and at one point she even pinned me down onto the sofa and sat on me until I apologised at which point I was able to squirm away and run to the toilet before she stopped me.

I do recall one occasion on holiday where we were on a really long coach journey to the airport and I was desperate to pee to the point where I was actually having to hold myself. My parents didn't care and said I'd have to wait until we got to the airport, and that others on the coach also needed to go but if they could wait then I could too. I think they must have finally realised it was a real emergency as after speaking to the holiday rep who then spoke to the driver, the coach eventually pulled over and I was allowed off to pee by the side of the road. I still recall the embarrassment at having to stand up and walk to the front of this busy coach while everyone on board must have known I was getting off for a wee! I remember an older girl on the coach also needed a wee but she was too embarrassed to pee by the road so had to wait another hour or so until we finally reached the airport where she sprinted to the toilets. 

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My mother had same show of concern as mbgpeelover experienced, she would be focussed on the job in hand asking questions like can I wait much longer, how much did I need, was it really urgent while she scanned for options to find a solution, she even said to me once if really urgent would I be ok to go in bushes as no other option, I had peed outside before when fishing with my dad but not with my mum there I just said I don’t know if I can, i was usually ok to wait for her to find me the next best opportunity,

i once saw shocking bad parenting after school hours outside high street shops where a young girl about 8 was extremely desperate pee dancing while her mum stood chatting, I assumed they went to shops after picking up from school as she had uniform on, the girl pulled at the mother’s arm interrupting her, the mother said to wait a minute and not to interrupt, the girl was at her holding limit pee dancing holding herself saying ‘mummy mummy I’m needing I’m needing’ the mum scolded her again saying just a minute and don’t you dare wet yourself, a few seconds later the girl stopped holding and dancing and opened her legs peeing a big puddle, the mother grabbed her arm and hit her on the bottom for wetting herself, 

 

Edited by SoBursting (see edit history)
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1 hour ago, SoBursting said:

My mother had same show of concern as mbgpeelover experienced, she would be focussed on the job in hand asking questions like can I wait much longer, how much did I need, was it really urgent while she scanned for options to find a solution, she even said to me once if really urgent would I be ok to go in bushes as no other option, I had peed outside before when fishing with my dad but not with my mum there I just said I don’t know if I can, i was usually ok to wait for her to find me the next best opportunity,

i once saw shocking bad parenting after school hours outside high street shops where a young girl about 8 was extremely desperate pee dancing while her mum stood chatting, I assumed they went to shops after picking up from school as she had uniform on, the girl pulled at the mother’s arm interrupting her, the mother said to wait a minute and not to interrupt, the girl was at her holding limit pee dancing holding herself saying ‘mummy mummy I’m needing I’m needing’ the mum scolded her again saying just a minute and don’t you dare wet yourself, a few seconds later the girl stopped holding and dancing and opened her legs peeing a big puddle, the mother grabbed her arm and hit her on the bottom for wetting herself, 

 

Sadly I have seen similar too and not just from mums! 
 One time in particular I remember was when I was in a local supermarket shortly after schools had come out. Two girls, one maybe 10/11 and the other a little younger at maybe 8/9 were in school uniform and had come into the shop at the same time as me with a man, who I presumed was their dad. As they came into the foyer bit, which in this shop was a large area with customer services and sandwiches on display and a bit that leads to the cafe and toilets I saw the older girl look towards the cafe and toilets and say to her dad that she was bursting and could she just go to the toilet. Her sister piped up right away that she was desperate too and would come with her but the dad said he was in a hurry and not in for much so they could maybe go once he was finished shopping. 
player on while I was doing my own shopping I couldn’t help seeing both girls pee dancing about by the yogurt fridge both very obviously desperate but the dad just carried on shopping and seemed to ignore them. It wasn’t my place to say anything but I felt awful for them as they clearly needed to go very badly. 
I next saw them in another aisle and one of the girls had a hand pressed into the front of her skirt and was begging her dad to hurry up as she was absolutely bursting for a pee. I thought they were old enough that he could have let them go themselves, especially together, but again he just said he was nearly finished and wouldn’t be much longer. Part of me actually wanted to take the girls myself as I could empathise with them so much! 
the next and last time I saw them was right at the far end of the supermarket where the breakfast cereals were. Both girls were very openly pee dancing now with the youngest holding constantly herself and the oldest moving around loads, fidgeting, squirming and occasionally holding herself too. Both were asking their dad to go to the toilet again and then the older girl gasped and marched on the spot frantically almost in tears and her sister asked if she was ok. ‘No!’ She said, ‘I’m going to pee myself!’ It was only at this point the dad see,Ed to pay attention and turned, sighed and tutted at his daughter telling her that if she seriously was going to embarrass herself then she’d better go to the toilet. At this both girls raced the length of the store to the ladies. 
 

Another time I saw a mum act very differently though. This time I was on a train returning from the city when a mum got on with an older daughter, maybe 11/12 and a baby in a buggy. The train had no toilets and the girl had barely sat down when she started fidgeting and told her mum she needed to pee. The mum immediately sat beside her and told her the journey wouldn’t be long and unfortunately there was nothing she could do but ‘try not to think about it’ and ‘I’ll get you home as soon as possible, I promise.’ For the rest of the journey the girl never mentioned her need again but she kept changing position, biting her lip, crossing and uncrossing her legs and looking very tense. About 25 minutes later the mum told the girl they were nearly there and that was when the girl said ‘it’s really really bad mum. I’m been trying hard not to think about it like you said but it’s not working! I need to go really bad.’ The mum was so sympathetic and understanding saying she understood and it would be ok etc. She then said ‘if you really can’t wait I could try Sandra’s house. She stays quite close.’ The girl was so embarrassed and said she’d try and hold until the got home but when they stood to wait to get off the girl was frantic bouncing on her feet and twisting her body and her mum looked at her and said so kindly, ‘we’ll stop in at Sandra’s sweetheart. You’ve done amazing waiting this long but I can see how bad it is. I don’t think you’d make it home no matter how much you want to.’ 
 

the difference in the two parents was so contrasting! 

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My parents always found it annoying how often I would go to the bathroom constantly all the time and when I was a child I definitely had a severely overactive bladder, was hyperactive and could not wait for even the smallest amount of time, and was just constantly going to the bathroom and they eventually took me to a urologist.


They never stopped me from going to the bathroom though because they realized that they didn't let me go to the bathroom I would probably end up peeing myself. But if there was no bathroom available it was understood that I would hold it until one was available. This extended to outside where I was never to pee outside but they had a double standard where the boys in my family were allowed to pee wherever they wanted, such as when I was with my boy cousins. I was an only child though. But when we did stuff with my boy cousins and everything like that they would get priority relieving themselves, so I think that definitely influenced the trajectory of how my fetish developed. And on road trips they used car urinals but I had to hold it.

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A different type of bad parenting I can recall but really in those days it wouldn’t be seen as such,  maybe today it could be?

we had neighbours they had 7 kids, were in a working class council estate, late 70s early 80s,

Not a lot to go around although my mum and dad worked we could make ends meet,

the family were on ‘the social’ benefits/welfare, no parent worked,

the oldest girl was about 13, every day after school she would have to go to pick up the youngest her brother, he’s 5 or 6, then she would have to take the brother with her on shopping chores, green grocers for potatoes or dairy for milk, there was always something she had to go shop for on the way home, trouble was like many she would be needing to pee after school and the brother plus the shopping would delay her getting home,

 I would seen her walking home with the brother and the shopping they’d arrive at their front door, as they’re  waiting to get in she’s standing  seriously pee dancing knocking the door vigorously with her free hand the other jammed between her legs, sometimes it would take an age to open the door she would be calling out hurry open the door, I need the toilet,

today I wonder why someone else couldn’t do the shopping, why her everyday often bursting to pee,

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My parents attempted to avoid needing to stop to pee by making us make "our finals"before leaving the house or going to bed. ( To this day I still must do this ) If we needed to go while we were out doing something we were we had to wait until it was  convenient to stop and let us go.  Their general attitude towards the subject made my siblings and I reluctant to say anything until we were already desperate. If we were seen holding ourselves, squirming, or pee dancing etc. we were told to stop acting like babies and control ourselves .  Peeing anywhere but a proper toilet was also forbidden. God help us if we wet our pants. We would be punished . They were very, very strict in these matters.

I think this had a lot to do with my developing pee shyness, not admitting I had to go, even if it was obvious I was struggling , about to or even wetting my pants. For years I could not pee with others around. So ironically this did lead to me peeing in my pants a few times, but my parents never knew. It happened a couple of times in front of friends, but fortunately they never made a big deal of it. 

All this could have influenced the development of my pee fetish.

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Aeons ago, when I was growing up, it was my grandmother who took me places, and there was no problem with me going into a men's room unattended at age 8 or so.  Now things are different, and it's a problem for a parent with an opposite-gender child and public rest rooms.  There aren't enough "family" rest rooms, so a child might have to hold it.  

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In my case it was much like the  lady in the OP.  Mother would ignore me at first. Then if it got to the point she couldn't ignore me she'd get annoyed and act as if  I were inconveniencing the whole would.  "You always have to go" Can't you even wait 10 mins....(fill in time)" "Why can't you hold it like everybody else?!"  Then some mild threats: "You better not wet your pants again, or else!"  Then if I did happen to have an accident, more often than not, it was some more shaming and maybe mild punishment e.g. scolding, standing in the corner with wet pants for 20 mins.   I think she occasionally saw where she maybe had contributed to the situation and concluded it wasn't actually entirely my fault and she'd show some sympathy.

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Toileting matters were always pretty matter of fact with my parents - if we needed to go, and could go, we went. 

I recall only one incident where I was worried about reaction, and it didn't end well. I was probably about 9  when I managed to soak my pants in public for the first time since I was 4. I was visiting my Dad for a week in the school holidays (I lived full time with my Mum) and  I was weeing quite a lot that week - it actually led to a first bedwetting accident for many years as well, think I was drinking a lot more than I did at home and my dad had commented on how I was always needing the toilet. One night, after we'd eaten tea we were out walking to one of his friends for him to get some money when I started to need a wee, but I didn't say anything. We got to his friends where he conducted his business and I drank a glass of juice (oops!) before setting off for the walk home. I had been too self conscious to ask to use his friends toilet. Part way home I started doing the telltale weewee dance, in itself an embarrasment for an 9 year old but my dad didn't pick up on it and natuarlly by this stage I was too mortified to say anything as I felt an accident was imminent. I was right, and only a couple of minutes later I started to go in my pants (red briefs, black tracksuit bottoms) at this stage I felt I needed to say something to my dad but was too ashamed so I just tapped his hand and pointed at my crotch. As my bottoms were black they didn't appear wet (even though I was part way though wetting them) so he just thought I needed to wee again and made some comment about us being nearly home so I could go then. By then it was too late, but at least I was spared the shame of him knowing that his 9 year old son had just wet himself in public without even asking to use a toilet! Once again I got away with it by hiding my clothes when I got undressed that night.

 

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19 hours ago, China Girl said:

That's so harsh for a child! Fortunately I never had to wet myself at that age like that. Though I did witness an accident on a train where parents held up their son to pee out of the window because he couldn't wait, and then the mom actually wet her skirt eventually because she couldn't hold it either. That was very embarrassing for them.

Ha, I must admit there were times when I was wishing something like that would have happened to my mother because she was often reason I had an accident  by making me wait or thinking something else was more important at the moment. 

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It really boggles my mind how many parents or other adults in some sort of authority position treat a kid needing the toilet as some sort of massive inconvenience.

Fortunately, my parents were not like that. As someone else said, it was kind of matter-of-fact. If you asked to go we'd just go assuming a toilet was available. In fact, it was really the opposite of toilets being refused. I absolutely hated to interrupt anything I was doing to go to the bathroom and had frequent accidents because I always thought I could go "later". This led to lots of my parents trying to encourage me to go to the bathroom when they saw me fidgeting or pee dancing or whatever. And this happened up to a rather embarrassingly late age where I needed to be reminded to go for a pee break.

In other words, they did get quite frustrated with me from time to time but it wasn't because I needed to go toilet but because I wasn't telling them I needed to go in a timely fashion or admitting I needed to go when asked.

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 8/20/2021 at 11:06 AM, Mbgpeelover said:

Earlier this week I went to collect my child from high school. Another mum was there two with her two boys in school uniform from a nearby school which I knew finished half an hour previously. One of the boys, aged about 9/10 was very fidgety, dancing around and several times holding his crotch discreetly. He was doing a very obvious pee pee dance. He went up towards his mum and asked when his sister was coming out and said he really needed the toilet. 
What struck me most was the mum’s reaction. She seemed to not be concerned at all just answering that his sister would be out at 3:30 and not even responding or commenting on his very obvious need to pee. 
The boy continued pee dancing and moaning to his younger brother how he hadn’t used the toilet at school all day and he’d forgotten his sister was at the new school and not his (this was just the 3rd day back to term) now and he thought they would be going straight home. The mum would clearly have heard her son but chose to just ignore him completely which I thought was strange. 
The sister came out and they all set off walking for home. I passed them later in my car and the lad was openly holding himself as they walked. They had walked past a supermarket with toilets and I couldn’t help thinking why the mum hadn’t let him use their loos. 

I do hope he made it home though in time! I could certainly empathise with him as I was always desperate after school like he was. 

It's strange that the Mum ignored him and didn't at least encourage him to hold it and reassure him his sister would be out soon. Perhaps she didn't want him using the supermarket toilets because of Covid? Hopefully he made it.

 

On 8/20/2021 at 11:06 AM, Mbgpeelover said:

If you were ever publicly bursting and with your parents as a child how did they respond? 

They would normally find me a toilet, or occassionaly somewhere to go outside. They would sometimes encourage me to wait a bit longer but they would always try and find somewhere for me if I was desperate.

 

On 8/20/2021 at 12:04 PM, SoBursting said:

i once saw shocking bad parenting after school hours outside high street shops where a young girl about 8 was extremely desperate pee dancing while her mum stood chatting, I assumed they went to shops after picking up from school as she had uniform on, the girl pulled at the mother’s arm interrupting her, the mother said to wait a minute and not to interrupt, the girl was at her holding limit pee dancing holding herself saying ‘mummy mummy I’m needing I’m needing’ the mum scolded her again saying just a minute and don’t you dare wet yourself, a few seconds later the girl stopped holding and dancing and opened her legs peeing a big puddle, the mother grabbed her arm and hit her on the bottom for wetting herself, 

 

That's awful! Didn't the person she was speaking to notice? If I was the person the Mum was speaking to, I would have said something and if the Mum didn't want to do anything about it, wrapped up the conversation to try and help the poor girl.

 

On 8/20/2021 at 12:04 PM, SoBursting said:

My mother had same show of concern as mbgpeelover experienced, she would be focussed on the job in hand asking questions like can I wait much longer, how much did I need, was it really urgent while she scanned for options to find a solution, she even said to me once if really urgent would I be ok to go in bushes as no other option, I had peed outside before when fishing with my dad but not with my mum there I just said I don’t know if I can, i was usually ok to wait for her to find me the next best opportunity,

 

This is exactly how parents should react if their child is desperate to pee.

 

On 8/20/2021 at 2:05 PM, Mbgpeelover said:

Sadly I have seen similar too and not just from mums! 
 One time in particular I remember was when I was in a local supermarket shortly after schools had come out. Two girls, one maybe 10/11 and the other a little younger at maybe 8/9 were in school uniform and had come into the shop at the same time as me with a man, who I presumed was their dad. As they came into the foyer bit, which in this shop was a large area with customer services and sandwiches on display and a bit that leads to the cafe and toilets I saw the older girl look towards the cafe and toilets and say to her dad that she was bursting and could she just go to the toilet. Her sister piped up right away that she was desperate too and would come with her but the dad said he was in a hurry and not in for much so they could maybe go once he was finished shopping. 
player on while I was doing my own shopping I couldn’t help seeing both girls pee dancing about by the yogurt fridge both very obviously desperate but the dad just carried on shopping and seemed to ignore them. It wasn’t my place to say anything but I felt awful for them as they clearly needed to go very badly. 
I next saw them in another aisle and one of the girls had a hand pressed into the front of her skirt and was begging her dad to hurry up as she was absolutely bursting for a pee. I thought they were old enough that he could have let them go themselves, especially together, but again he just said he was nearly finished and wouldn’t be much longer. Part of me actually wanted to take the girls myself as I could empathise with them so much! 
the next and last time I saw them was right at the far end of the supermarket where the breakfast cereals were. Both girls were very openly pee dancing now with the youngest holding constantly herself and the oldest moving around loads, fidgeting, squirming and occasionally holding herself too. Both were asking their dad to go to the toilet again and then the older girl gasped and marched on the spot frantically almost in tears and her sister asked if she was ok. ‘No!’ She said, ‘I’m going to pee myself!’ It was only at this point the dad see,Ed to pay attention and turned, sighed and tutted at his daughter telling her that if she seriously was going to embarrass herself then she’d better go to the toilet. At this both girls raced the length of the store to the ladies. 

Why would he make them wait like that? I could perhaps understand it a bit more if the shop had no toilets and he was nearly done and in a rush, but it's just cruel to make them wait if they're that urgent with toilets that close and they can accompany each other to save him needing to stop what he was doing.

On 8/20/2021 at 2:05 PM, Mbgpeelover said:

Another time I saw a mum act very differently though. This time I was on a train returning from the city when a mum got on with an older daughter, maybe 11/12 and a baby in a buggy. The train had no toilets and the girl had barely sat down when she started fidgeting and told her mum she needed to pee. The mum immediately sat beside her and told her the journey wouldn’t be long and unfortunately there was nothing she could do but ‘try not to think about it’ and ‘I’ll get you home as soon as possible, I promise.’ For the rest of the journey the girl never mentioned her need again but she kept changing position, biting her lip, crossing and uncrossing her legs and looking very tense. About 25 minutes later the mum told the girl they were nearly there and that was when the girl said ‘it’s really really bad mum. I’m been trying hard not to think about it like you said but it’s not working! I need to go really bad.’ The mum was so sympathetic and understanding saying she understood and it would be ok etc. She then said ‘if you really can’t wait I could try Sandra’s house. She stays quite close.’ The girl was so embarrassed and said she’d try and hold until the got home but when they stood to wait to get off the girl was frantic bouncing on her feet and twisting her body and her mum looked at her and said so kindly, ‘we’ll stop in at Sandra’s sweetheart. You’ve done amazing waiting this long but I can see how bad it is. I don’t think you’d make it home no matter how much you want to.’ 

This is how parents should treat their child. It's not a great situation for both of them but she reassured her daughter and came up with options. Hopefully the girl made it but I bet the mother would have been just as kind and understanding if she had accident and would have told her she did very well to wait as long as she did and even adults have accidents sometimes.

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My mum's reaction would be the total opposite. As soon as I mentioned I need a pee, they would be in fear I would have an accident. I had a very small capacity as a child and have had quite some accidents. I even had a special permission for some time during primary school that I could just leave the class to go pee if I felt the need to it.

So I grew up in an environment where people started to panic when I mentioned my need. And immediately went looking for a toilet or another solution.

I sometimes feel this has had a sort of negative effect too, as I was encouraged to go as frequently as possible. Or to go to the toilet beforehand "to be safe". So I still have this small bladder capacity and also a sort of sensitivity that when I need to pee, I cannot really shut that feeling out. If my bladder has to hold greater amounts, it starts to get very aggressive and increasing this feeling of need. I don't know if this is the cause of this upbringing, or if this is just the trouble with my bladder as it has always been.

I just know that the idea of "crisis" when needing to pee got planted firmly in my mind. So I still find it hard to stay calm when I am getting desperate.

 

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