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Telling people you have accidents?


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One evening without thinking after several drinks with a colleague I said something like “had a lot to drink, hope I don’t wet the bed tonight”.  Expressing surprise/concern he wondered how frequently it happened.  Totally regretting the comment, I quickly changed the subject and moved on.  In the days/years that followed I’m sure he remembered and wondered but never said another word on my “mistake”.

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This reminds me of a couple of years ago, when I was hanging around in the woods with some other families. Me and the parents were talking and I said “This morning didn´t have a good start. I was waking up in a big puddle”. Everybody went quiet and got weird looks on their faces, and then I realised I forgot to mention it was my kid´s puddle, not mine! 😄

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I tried using a situation once to involve my wife in my desperation chat to gauge her response,

i got home really late one night after being out with friends in a few bars, I was at work next day worse for the alcohol when she text me to say ‘what time did you get home last night’ I replied saying ‘yea sorry, overdid it a bit, actually would have been home sooner if I wasn’t bursting while waiting in the taxi Q, had to leave the line and go pee was so desperate, had to join Q at the end again’ she replied ‘too much information’

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Guest Steve_pee

I've often told girl friends I might wet myself if I get drunk, several also admitted that they have had a few accidents when drinking. So no big deal if accidents happen

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I've written on here about the accidents that I have had in my life (and how I have a very conflicted feelings about the fact that I have an OAB that has caused issues throughout my life). Telling people that I'm close to, or what to be close to, has always been a struggle. It's embarrassing and I worry about what they'll think.

However, with people that I'm not that familiar with or worried about impressing them I have on occasion worked a conversation around to the subject. When I was on the dating apps I sometimes would ask them about embarrassing moments as an ice breaker and then tell them about the time I peed my pants in seventh grade. I didn't go beyond that as it was long ago that it wouldn't cause them to think I was a freak (but I was old enough to make the story embarrassing). The hope was to have them share a similar story. It sometimes works, but, sadly, the details they give are generally pretty vague -- "Oh, yeah, that happened to me when I was 12" type stuff.

Funny enough, however, I had this happen this week when I had three friends over. People I know better too, so I was stretching my comfort level out. We were having a few drinks so I was looser, which is why. Anyway, the one girl randomly started to tell a story about having stomach issues at a gym when she was in her early 20s. She let gas out and, yeah, shit herself a bit. She was just laughing about it, which is when I jumped in and said "It's fine, I'm pretty sure everyone here has a story like that." She then asked "Have you shit yourself?" I didn't skip a beat and said "no (I actually haven't -- close a couple times, but...) my issue is the other. My bladder has betrayed me a couple times." It was a rush to say it and everyone was laughing and egging me on. Another of the girls said "I bet you are a bed pisser when you're drunk." I laughed and said, "Not for a while (a lie), but no I actually full on pissed myself walking home when I lived at your place (true)" and then told the story about the last accident I had (at the door, trying to open it). Then said, "sadly not the only time I have peed myself."

I would have told more, but the second girl laughed and then asked if we wanted to her her worst pee story. She told us about peeing in her jeans while sleeping on someone's couch a few years ago and how she had to tell them in the morning and then go home in her pee jeans on the bus."

Then, the final girl goes "I pee myself all the time. I happened last month when I was in the kitchen and had to go. I decided to hold it and then suddenly it just came out. I'm such an idiot." That was the final story. No one was concerned about me, but I quite enjoyed admitting it and hearing the other stories.

The lesson: Share your stories when the opportunity occurs. I think the key is not forcing it so it doesn't come off as weird. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

I find it so difficult opening up about this subject IRL, even in kink situations.

I went to one school role-play event. It was based around corporal punishment and I got a lot of spankings for messing around.  One female teacher took a liking to me and took great delight in having me pull my pants down so she could make her mark on my bottom.

During break she took me aside and asked me if there was anything specifically that I liked. This was the perfect opportunity to open up about my omo interests.  Instead I could hardly get the words out and she had to try to encourage me.  Finally in a small voice I said that I wanted her to make me wet myself. She said that she had absolutely no problem with that, then started pressing on my bladder.  Things could have gone a lot further had I been bolder.

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I've literally wet myself in front of my friends, so I'm pretty open about it. That said there is one time I'd rather I hadn't wet myself, and that was when I was visiting my parents with my husband, and he kept on making me laugh, even with tickling, until I ended up wetting my dress. I'd really prefer for my parents not to see me have an accident like that, especially when I'd have totally made it to the toilet otherwise. Since then though I've worn diapers around them without mentioning it.

Edited by China Girl (see edit history)
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I haven't told most of my friends about my problems. The few who know took it as no big deal, so I should really not worry about telling the others, I guess. It really shouldn't be the hardest thing in the world by now.

Of course, I don't really need to tell anyone. If I'm going to sleep away from home for one day, I just bring a couple absorbent pads that are easily hidden, and so far I've been able to sneak away to clean up with bad stomach days (and it's rare that they're that bad.)

It's funny, I have a friend with IBS who knows about my (less severe) stomach problems and we talk about gross physical stuff whenever it comes up. So, when she asked what I was doing online at a time I'm usually not, I started to just immediately tell her that my stomach was bad and I'd just got done showering after an accident. Then suddenly my heart starts racing and making my fingers move to write each letter is a strain... then I start talking about it in way too much detail because it's weird territory to be on the other side of bringing up the subject and I don't know what to do. I felt kind of dumb for still having such trouble talking about it with her of all people, but that's how it's been every time. (She also knows I wet the bed. Next time it happens, I think I'll casually throw it into conversation just to see how fast I can throw myself over that barrier, just because I need to be braver.)

 

 

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7 hours ago, China Girl said:

Actually sometimes I've comforted people by telling them that I have accidents too. Some people don't think a fashionable lady like me would ever shit herself, so one time when my friend was really embarrassed to have pooped her skirt on her doorstep, I told her I do it too.

Could you provide some more details about your friend's accident? The situation seems to be very interesting.

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Well I didn't see it personally, but what happened was that she was out shopping and there was a long queue for the ladies' toilet, so she decided to wait to poo until she got home. But her stomach was upset, and by the time she got back to her street, she was so desperate. Then she had to walk up stairs to get back to her apartment carrying shopping, and the exertion was so much that when she finally got to her door, she pooped all down her legs. She was wearing a cute red skirt and white panties, which weren't so white after that! Later that day she was even more humiliated because her boyfriend found her messy skirt and panties soaking to remove the stains, and discovered her accident. She promised never to put off going to the toilet again, but I said having an accident is no big deal, and diapers can fulfil that need. She said she didn't want to wear diapers at all, but it was good to know that even beautiful ladies like her and me can have an accident sometimes.

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My then new gf claimed she had a very very close call, but I thought she wanted to find out what I would do if she wet her pants. She spent so much time in the bathroom and ran the faucet for so long, and changed her panties, that I was convinced she did wet her pants. We went to bed and talked. I was very turned on and we had very good sex. I told her that it wouldn’t bother me if she wet her pants, and more of my previous girlfriends had wet their pants than those who had not. I also told her that I wet my pants if I wait too long. The next weekend I did have an accident getting home from a drive that took about twice as long as it should have. She was very sympathetic. I tested her, devising ways to be wet every weekend for over 2 months. She was always sympathetic. After we got married and got home from our honeymoon I was dry for 3 months. I finally couldn’t contain it and on a Friday night we went for a very long walk after I had drank as much as I could hold. She didn’t acknowledge that I had an “accident” until we got home. 
 

Then 20 years later I was recovering from an horrific auto accident that resulted in a broken back and spinal cord injury. I pooped in my pants more times than I could remember, often with no warning. I told her that I seemed to have nerve damage that caused me to not know, so when I got home it would be easier to change diapers than to change pants. After she had to change me each day for 3 days she did put me in diapers. Then I started wetting with minimal or no warning. I wore a chin to mid-hip brace and had a broken arm so I could not get my pants down or the fly open.  I wore diapers for 2 months, until the brace came off. She changed me but after the brace came off she demanded that I not wear diapers. I had more accidents that I can remember. 9 months after the injury I had a very public wetting that convinced me that either diapers or be a shut in. I chose diapers, and a month later she announced she was going to divorce me because I seemed to be more interested in wearing diapers than in her.

 

Edited by scinosensation
Correct errors (see edit history)
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17 hours ago, China Girl said:

Well that went in an unexpected direction...not sure how wearing diapers meant you weren't giving your wife enough attention.

Meanwhile, my husband stuffed me into diapers after I wet the bed with him in it...I have no regrets about that.

My ex wife demanded all the attention. She was convinced I was wetting and pooping in my pants just to get her attention. She also was adamant that grownups don’t wear diapers. Before my injury diapers were an occasional thing for me that I used only at home when there was no chance anyone other than my then wife would know. For as long as I can remember I did wish that I could wear diapers whenever I wanted, that I could freely choose diapers as my regular choice of underwear. She had known that from the beginning. She even bought some for me when adult diapers became commercially available.

Ms. @China Girl, does this explanation help you understand? I never understood it myself. 

Edited by scinosensation (see edit history)
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On 8/6/2021 at 6:58 AM, China Girl said:

Were you still having sex while wearing the diapers? Did she feel neglected?

Yes we were, but sometimes the thrusting led to a wetting after orgasm. She told psychotherapists that I would have sex only if I were wearing a diaper. She told them she felt like she was always in a competition with my love of diapers. Before I was injured I had not worn diapers that she knew of for 7 years. What got me was that she never objected before I was injured.

Edited by scinosensation (see edit history)
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I've had to tell many people.

My mother and father were very negative.  My childhood play mates mildly teased me about peeing so often.  My first wife and I very immature and negative about each others' leaks.  (She was also extremely negative about her sister's 3 to 4 per week bed floods.)  Around age thirty one girlfriend would serve up lots of coffee with breakfast, set up a desperation country drive and then be really negative when I got desperate in a place where she "couldn't pee" (usually a place where my previous, locally raised, girlfriends would have been delighted to pee like their farming ancestors or, in one case, like Jesus's traveling companions).

Of course doctors and pharmacists always remained professional (except one pharmacist who congratulated me for treating needing diapers like needing glasses.

My older girl cousins, one steady and a landlady mildly mothered me around my small bladder.  They reminded me to pee before car and bus rides, sent me to pee first when arriving home, showed me restroom locations when introducing me to places they liked and helped me find restrooms where neither of us new the locations.  Sometimes that embarrassed me.  Now that I know some people do it for fun, I miss it.

Most everyone else just shrugged. 

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I don't have any sort of bladder issues, but if someone told me that they did, I'd try to reassure them and let them know that they can't help it any more than someone can help sneezing a lot during allergy season. 

I never would want anyone to feel uncomfortable around me. ❤️ 

If I did have these sorts of issues, I would probably only tell close friends and anyone else would only be if it was relevant. 

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Someone said to me once "you still piss in your bed" when we were arguing. It was meant as an insult to make me stop arguing. And it worked. Not sure if the person knew that I actually have wetting accidents or just wanted to degrade me when he said that. He caught me by surprise and I actually answered "how do you know?". He laughed and said "I can tell just by looking at you". It was pretty stupid of me to answer, because by doing so I actually admitted I pee in my sleep and that made me look incompetent.

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