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female She Said/He Said


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I sensed I was being followed before I was consciously aware of it. 

Heard the engine probably. His headlights must have been turned off at that stage. I'd have seen that they were keeping pace with me otherwise, and I don't remember that. I don't turn around to look, just walk quicker. More than half a mile from home. 

"What are you doing out this late? In this weather?" He sounds angry as he yells from his beat-up car when he pulls alongside me.

"Just heading home. Weather is fine." I don't sound friendly. Random strangers who tail me at night and then yell at me don't get "friendly". But I try not to sound too hostile. Don't provoke anything.

He accelerates down the street and I'm relieved. It was lightly sprinkling an hour earlier and I've put on a bright yellow raincoat just in case. It's not even that cold. And I'm dressed warmly anyway, sweater, jeans, boots.

He's turned the car around to wait for me at the end of the street. Lights off. That's not good. It's a T-intersection and I ignore him and cross the street. Turn right onto the bridge. There is a fence between the sidewalk and the road. It's a low fence but he isn't going to stop his car on the bridge, get out, jump the fence. If he does I'm sprinting. I need to pee. I'm scared, but I have a plan. At the end of the bridge you can walk left onto a bike path instead of continuing down the street. When I get alongside that I'm going to turn and run away down that. He won't be able to follow.

My plan goes poorly. I get 20 yards down the bike path, running, but not all out, when I see headlights behind me and hear an engine revving. Oh, fuck fuck fuck.

I sprint the next 20 yards and all but throw myself around the first possible corner and onto a cul-de-sac. Keep walking, can't keep running. My heart is pounding. I feel like I'm going to wet myself. What the fuck can I do? I'm going to die. I'm going to get abducted, raped, and murdered. Fuck fuck fuck.   

"Why did you run?! Why did you run?!" He pulls alongside me again and yells from his car.

"Because I'm terrified you are going to hurt me!" I say it as loud as I can without screaming. Maybe someone is up and will hear me. And save me? Yeah.  

Should I scream? Run to a house? A backyard? Will he get scared off or just accelerate a confrontation? What friends live nearby? It's only 11! Why are no one's lights still on?

The block I'm on is small. I'm scared to try to cross the street. He might hit me. I'm not even walking toward my home anymore. I have to get off this block, get some more space. He keeps stalking me, sitting in my blind spot, high beams turned on.

I get to a corner where he won't be able to tell exactly where I am for a moment, large bush. On a whim, I start sprinting again. I run across the street before he can do anything. He doesn't like that.

"Why are you running toward the creek?!"

"I'm scared you are going to kill me! Leave me alone you psycho!" I regret saying that last bit. Why would I antagonize him?

I am walking toward the creek though, really a river, far, far too broad for me to swim. There is a wide bike path alongside it. The same one as before, but further up. I can't run on it again. It's too far to another way off the path. He'll catch me easily and it's too remote for anyone to hear a scuffle. Fuck fuck fuck. I've been isolated. While I kept walking, hoping for better circumstances to escape, he kept driving, steering me beyond help.  

It's a cul-de-sac ending in the bike path. I can't turn around. I'd get too close to the car and he could get out and grab me. I think of all the self-defense classes I've never taken. Instep, solar plexus, groin, throat??? Maybe. Use teeth and nails. Fight as if your life depends on it. 

When I step onto the bike path he follows in his car. If I start down this path I'll die. I run back down the other side of the cul-de-sac instead. Forcing him to turn around. I think about overturning some trash bins. And don't because I don't want to inconvenience people. Ugh. Running is better anyway. 

He doesn't get back beside me as quickly as I'd expected and when I risk a glance back I see he's got caught up on some bollards, those wooden posts that... keep people from driving onto the bike path. Temporarily stuck off-road. He has to reverse to get back on the street. I run again. As hard as I possibly can. Around a corner. He'll be back in a moment. 

I duck behind a car parked in front of a tree. I can't run fast or far enough to escape, hiding is all I've got. I regret that I haven't taken off my raincoat. I regret that I didn't think to hide behind a front wall instead. My legs are freezing, I've wet myself at some point. It's in my boots. You are meant to do that anyway right. Be less appealing.

His car flies past me. Missed me? It pulls a violent U-turn 40 yards ahead and comes back my way. Fuck fuck fuck. I don't move. Run when he slows down. I'm not sure I can. 

He doesn't slow down. He didn't see me. He thinks I've run the other way and is checking now. Hope surges.

I can't run. I've hurt something in my leg. I walk quickly though. Straight toward a friend's house, because it's closer than mine. I don't knock on her door though. It's late and I haven't seen him for nearly five minutes. Maybe he's given up on me. She has kids, it'd be rude to disturb her. 

It's fine. I make it home. Scan the street one last time to make sure he doesn't know where I live.

Change. Tell my husband. He calls the cops. They don't care, it's a she said/he said situation. They don't even file an incident report that night. He pushes them to do one a couple of days later. They still don't contact the guy in the car. I have hurt my leg, and can't put weight on it for days. I have nightmares and am always plotting how to run away when I walk outside. Cars slowing down near me give adrenaline spikes. Strangers saying 'hello' are terrifying. 

I haven't been outside at night since.

---------------------------

This is actually a true story from about a month ago. Except I didn't wet myself. So it's better filed here. That's all I've got.

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To quote roughly from something I've read a while ago but couldn't remember what it is: “It's always the abused who has to deal with things the abuser has done.”

Couldn't really find words to comfort you right now, and being one with mental health issues myself, I can only imagine how traumatic this is for someone already dealing with anxiety (I remember reading somewhere that you have anxiety of some sort; correct me if I'm wrong). Surviving in society is tough, surviving in society as a female even tougher, and while I am typing this line in anger and despair, I'm sure things will get better and I hope you think the same way when you go to bed tonight.

To quote from Orwell's “1984” (this time I remember the source): “We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.”

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On 7/7/2021 at 11:55 PM, Psalm23_4 said:

To quote roughly from something I've read a while ago but couldn't remember what it is: “It's always the abused who has to deal with things the abuser has done.”

Couldn't really find words to comfort you right now, and being one with mental health issues myself, I can only imagine how traumatic this is for someone already dealing with anxiety (I remember reading somewhere that you have anxiety of some sort; correct me if I'm wrong). Surviving in society is tough, surviving in society as a female even tougher, and while I am typing this line in anger and despair, I'm sure things will get better and I hope you think the same way when you go to bed tonight.

To quote from Orwell's “1984” (this time I remember the source): “We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness.”

Thank you for the kind words ❤️

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This is Bullwarky, that the police continue to allow this to happen by being lazy with "He said, she said."

This is NOT a case of He said, She said.  This is a case of assault and attempted battery!  Those FFFF ng police pig-dogs need to stop harrassing people that aren't doing crimes and go after the real criminals.  If you Identified your attacker as black, I wonder how fast a white cop would be to answer then?

Don't get me wrong.  I don't always believe the news narratives, but it does tick me off to know that some innocent black guys get screwed with for just minding their own business, and when you report a real crime, and they lay back and say there is no evidence!

AT the very least, they should file a restraining order so that that creep is not allowed within a certain distance of you.  Then, if he comes within said distance, then it is a crime, and not a he said, she said!

Actually, wetting your pants is very smart, not so much because you'd be less appealing.  I'm not sure how important that is to someone that is already committed, but if you get your pee on that guy, especially in his clothes from him trying to fight you down, there would be DNA evidence that would link him because it would take a good washing to get your pee out of his pants.  It is probably much more useful to wet your pants or poop them for that matter, if that's something that is going to happen, only after he has you and you are so close to him, that you can wet his pants or shirt with it. 

DNA is also the same reason you should bit him on the shoulder or other places your saliva can get into his clothes.  You scratch him so you get his DNA in your finger nails, and after you get DNA tricks, you surprise him with a move that allows you to get away again, and hopefully one that makes it hard for him to follow you.

Use your head from a bent knee stance and jump up into his face.

Kick his knee as hard as you can and then knee his baby-maker!

stomp the FF out of his instep, especially if you are wearing shoes that have heavy heels.

Smack the back of your head into his jaw and nose!

Sorry if I'm just ranting on some things that you probably already know, but I think it is important to remember them for if or when you need them.

Hugs*** Hugs*** Hugs**** Mostly I hope, from your husband!  I am so scared of being a girl in America, and for all the girls I know in America.  Yes, this is a world problem, at large, but recently, it seems to be very much more of a problem in America than we've heard of before.  It could just be because of better communications, but I'm not really sure or sold on that.

 

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This is confusing. He was driving on the bike path?

9 hours ago, Riverstone76 said:

Hugs*** Hugs*** Hugs**** Mostly I hope, from your husband!  I am so scared of being a girl in America, and for all the girls I know in America.  Yes, this is a world problem, at large, but recently, it seems to be very much more of a problem in America than we've heard of before.  It could just be because of better communications, but I'm not really sure or sold on that.

 

It's far from worst in America. We're blessed to be here compared to the sexual assault rates in some countries. 🙏🏻

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1 hour ago, Theonlysaneperson said:

It's far from worst in America. We're blessed to be here compared to the sexual assault rates in some countries. 🙏🏻

Some countries, yes, you are likely right about that, but I would argue that as a nation that is SUPPOSED to be the world leader in free markets and such, that we are the worst of the most developed countries where we recognize it to be a crime.

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On 7/12/2021 at 2:57 AM, OmoL said:

That sounds awful... I feel like I should say I hope you get help if you need it, but that won't change the source of the problem; that the threat experienced here exists, and that the victims (basically always women) aren't always lucky enough to escape. 

On 7/12/2021 at 10:16 PM, Manowar said:

What an awful situation... I feel sorry that you have been stalked that way. It woluldn't be strange if you ended like the narrator of your story. Good for you that in real life you avoided humiliation but still... The police were completely assholes :-(

On 7/13/2021 at 8:57 AM, LifeIsStrange said:

So sorry you had to go through that.

On 7/15/2021 at 8:07 AM, Ranpalan said:

I'm really sorry to hear this happened to you.  Take care.

Thanks everyone. I appreciate it. ❤️
 

On 7/16/2021 at 7:54 PM, Riverstone76 said:

This is Bullwarky, that the police continue to allow this to happen by being lazy with "He said, she said."

This is NOT a case of He said, She said.  This is a case of assault and attempted battery!  Those FFFF ng police pig-dogs need to stop harrassing people that aren't doing crimes and go after the real criminals.  If you Identified your attacker as black, I wonder how fast a white cop would be to answer then?

Don't get me wrong.  I don't always believe the news narratives, but it does tick me off to know that some innocent black guys get screwed with for just minding their own business, and when you report a real crime, and they lay back and say there is no evidence!

AT the very least, they should file a restraining order so that that creep is not allowed within a certain distance of you.  Then, if he comes within said distance, then it is a crime, and not a he said, she said!

Actually, wetting your pants is very smart, not so much because you'd be less appealing.  I'm not sure how important that is to someone that is already committed, but if you get your pee on that guy, especially in his clothes from him trying to fight you down, there would be DNA evidence that would link him because it would take a good washing to get your pee out of his pants.  It is probably much more useful to wet your pants or poop them for that matter, if that's something that is going to happen, only after he has you and you are so close to him, that you can wet his pants or shirt with it. 

DNA is also the same reason you should bit him on the shoulder or other places your saliva can get into his clothes.  You scratch him so you get his DNA in your finger nails, and after you get DNA tricks, you surprise him with a move that allows you to get away again, and hopefully one that makes it hard for him to follow you.

Use your head from a bent knee stance and jump up into his face.

Kick his knee as hard as you can and then knee his baby-maker!

stomp the FF out of his instep, especially if you are wearing shoes that have heavy heels.

Smack the back of your head into his jaw and nose!

Sorry if I'm just ranting on some things that you probably already know, but I think it is important to remember them for if or when you need them.

Hugs*** Hugs*** Hugs**** Mostly I hope, from your husband!  I am so scared of being a girl in America, and for all the girls I know in America.  Yes, this is a world problem, at large, but recently, it seems to be very much more of a problem in America than we've heard of before.  It could just be because of better communications, but I'm not really sure or sold on that.

 

It's funny how in the adrenaline of the moment all the good ideas that you in theory know don't come easily. Probably we should all practice until it's instinctive what to do. Which is a bleak as fuck thought.
I'm Australian but we have similar problems. It is scary to exist. It sucks. And a story like this is not at all uncommon. So many women I know told me similar stories after this happened. 

18 hours ago, Theonlysaneperson said:

This is confusing. He was driving on the bike path?

It's far from worst in America. We're blessed to be here compared to the sexual assault rates in some countries. 🙏🏻

Yep. Drove down a bike path. Too narrow for a car really, but navigable if you were committed. To, say, pursuing someone. 

 

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7 hours ago, WaityKaty said:

It's funny how in the adrenaline of the moment all the good ideas that you in theory know don't come easily. Probably we should all practice until it's instinctive what to do. Which is a bleak as fuck thought.
I'm Australian but we have similar problems. It is scary to exist. It sucks. And a story like this is not at all uncommon. So many women I know told me similar stories after this happened. 

Oh, I certainly agree.  I think girls should start learning to defend themselves like this from the age of ten, even to the point of practicing wetting their pants along side the other stuff, so that if something spooks them, it becomes second nature, and to be honest, some of this stuff would not hurt men to pracitce as well, because though men are usually targeted for a different reason, mainly to rob them, they can still be victims and should learn how to deal with cowardly criminals trying to get someone on their own.

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