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Dating apps that lean towards the fetishistic?


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I've been thinking of trying out some of the usual suspects in terms of the dating/hookup apps, but I have a caveat that's holding me back. I'm not really a "hookup" person, but if I were to give it a shot, I would like for it to be amongst the type of people who might be into this sort of thing. Many dating apps seem to either work off of the basis of appearance/attractiveness, or deep meaningful profiles meant for long-term commitments. Personally I'd like to find one that operates on fetishes first. I don't know if anything like this exists. Obviously there is FetLife, but the more I investigate that site, the more it seems to be a place for people who are already in relationships to flaunt their photos and material, rather than for single people to talk or meet up. Also, there seems to be a massive gender ratio difference in a lot of these more fetishistic communities; i.e, a lot more men than women. I also refuse to blatantly describe these sorts of interests of mine in a Tinder bio or something. Finding some kind of happy medium would be nice.

In short: Is anyone aware of a legitimate dating app that has a higher chance of success for this sort of thing?

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First off, I guarantee you that there's probably a dating app or site for whatever somebody happens to fancy.  However, human nature and the law of averages being what it is, you just have to accept that unless it's explicitly a lesbian dating/fetish site, it's gonna be a sausage fest by default, and a large portion of the "women" are either gonna be guys trying to catfish you or bots trying to sucker lonely/desperate guys into sharing financial details, spending more time on the site, or spending money.  Even the big, mainstream ones like Tinder and eHarmony are guilty of this, and they won't do anything about it because, often, they're the ones doing a lot of the catfishing/botting (doesn't help that a lot of them are owned by the same people).

Edited by D0nt45k (see edit history)
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I don't know a lot about dating apps and fetishes. BUT, My best friend has used a LOT of dating apps with not much success - fetish and not. (I promise I am getting back on topic!) It was very hit and miss - he only dates one person at a time - and really tries to make it work. He is kind of an non - fetish person himself (he is open to fetishes but doesn't have any himself). When he met someone, it would seem like 'where were you all this time?'. And they had to be looking and he had to be looking to find (match?) each other. It does not mean to stop trying or keep your options open.

(This may be different now because of the pandemic...)

What I found was FetLife munches were very welcoming. I was scared as shit to go. I am an introvert. It took forever for me to get up the courage to join the local FL online group. Then it took forever for me to finally go to the meet. (I also went a couple of times and hyperventilated in my car, but did not go in.)

When I did go in, the group was welcoming. Not everybody was into my stuff, BUT because it was clearly in my profile, they could look it up and see what I was interested in. I did not get ignored or laughed at or shamed or anything. I could not even initiate conversation my first time. There were some very nice people who asked gentle questions about me (and since it was busy lunch time at a Chinese buffet - it wasn't "HEY DO YOU LIKE TO ..."). I felt really welcome. I talked more the next times I went. 

This may be another way to meet people. You are in a larger setting with people with kinks. You can see most everyone who is coming.  No one wants to be embarrassed. The place hosting doesn't want to lose the business. People in the munch group have their kinks listed (not all of their kinks!) and the group moderators are usually good judges of who will fit if you read the group chat for a while. And you can always ask the mods in a private message if you would be welcome. 

 

I hope this helps. I KNOW this is super difficult for everyone. Please stay hopeful and support each other!

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3 hours ago, China Girl said:

Just date normally and be open about your kinks. Omorashi really isn't so bad, I've talked about it with several friends (and obviously my husband) without being shunned.

Pretty much this.  Of course my advice to the OP that I'd add on to this is it's a good idea to try and get a feel for how receptive to kink in general that your partner is before you actually bring up your fetish, though try not to make it seem forced.  If for some reason the opportunity presents itself (say that they end up desperate and have an accident)...maybe then you can open up about finding it attractive.  Even somebody who's about as vanilla as they get at first might eventually open up to their more fetishistic side if you expose them to it gradually and gently enough.

Edited by D0nt45k (see edit history)
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53 minutes ago, China Girl said:

Even I only got into wetting because I happened to wet myself in front of my boyfriend in an erotic situation, and liked it.

Exactly, sometimes just having another person there to enjoy the moment can help you learn things about yourself you never knew.  It's how I discovered my fetish for this sort of thing...although in my case the circumstances were...well...much more fucked up, to put it bluntly, and I'll just leave it at that.

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I had a lot of luck with regular dating apps (Tinder and Bumble) while using an omorashi profile (a very discrete and softcore one, of course).

You said you are not into hookups, so I recommend giving these hookup apps another chance with a fetish profile. The people I met like that were much nicer and kinder than the average Tinder user. Just be careful with explicit illustrations and how trigger appy the users are in your country when using the report button: if people get offended easily, soon you will have your phone number perma-banned.

If you are seeing someone regularly and the person likes you, I'd follow @China Girl advice and just be open about it. Very rarely someone who really likes you won't accept such fetish. It helps if you can make them say something sexually embarrassing about themselves first. You would be shocked at how many people think their vanilla "sex in the car" fantasy is more shameful than omorashi - as a plus, you get the chance to also satisfy their fantasy.

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16 minutes ago, JulesH said:

I had a lot of luck with regular dating apps (Tinder and Bumble) while using an omorashi profile (a very discrete and softcore one, of course).

You said you are not into hookups, so I recommend giving these hookup apps another chance with a fetish profile. The people I met like that were much nicer and kinder than the average Tinder user. Just be careful with explicit illustrations and how trigger appy the users are in your country when using the report button: if people get offended easily, soon you will have your phone number perma-banned.

If you are seeing someone regularly and the person likes you, I'd follow @China Girl advice and just be open about it. Very rarely someone who really likes you won't accept such fetish. It helps if you can make them say something sexually embarrassing about themselves first. You would be shocked at how many people think their vanilla "sex in the car" fantasy is more shameful than omorashi - as a plus, you get the chance to also satisfy their fantasy.

Gotta ask, what did you set your profile up with to make it discrete and yet have enough info for an omorashi enthusiasts to find? I've wanted to try it but don't what to get banned or get reported endlessly. Any advice would be great. 

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40 minutes ago, TheEvilDog said:

Gotta ask, what did you set your profile up with to make it discrete and yet have enough info for an omorashi enthusiasts to find? I've wanted to try it but don't what to get banned or get reported endlessly. Any advice would be great. 

I posted screenshots and other details on this old topic:

I'm not on Tinder anymore, but I used that profile for years in Japan with no problems. But be aware I got banned almost instantly when trying it in some other countries. In some places I just put one single non-hentai drawing of a woman wetting. Most people didn't get what it was about, but at least it would arouse their curiosity and give them a topic for their first line.

Edited by JulesH (see edit history)
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2 hours ago, JulesH said:

I had a lot of luck with regular dating apps (Tinder and Bumble) while using an omorashi profile (a very discrete and softcore one, of course).

You said you are not into hookups, so I recommend giving these hookup apps another chance with a fetish profile. The people I met like that were much nicer and kinder than the average Tinder user. Just be careful with explicit illustrations and how trigger appy the users are in your country when using the report button: if people get offended easily, soon you will have your phone number perma-banned.

If you are seeing someone regularly and the person likes you, I'd follow @China Girl advice and just be open about it. Very rarely someone who really likes you won't accept such fetish. It helps if you can make them say something sexually embarrassing about themselves first. You would be shocked at how many people think their vanilla "sex in the car" fantasy is more shameful than omorashi - as a plus, you get the chance to also satisfy their fantasy.

Sex in the car is such an odd thing to fantasise about. I've actually only done it once, one time when I'd used my diaper on a road trip and we were both just so horny we had to fuck before going inside, but it was cramped and uncomfortable. We have quite a small car though.

And that's how people who don't like omorashi see it!

Edited by China Girl (see edit history)
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On 7/4/2021 at 5:47 AM, China Girl said:

Sex in the car is such an odd thing to fantasise about. I've actually only done it once, one time when I'd used my diaper on a road trip and we were both just so horny we had to fuck before going inside, but it was cramped and uncomfortable. We have quite a small car though.

And that's how people who don't like omorashi see it!

I can see the appeal of mutual masturbation in a car, but full-on sex?  Unless you've got something like an SUV or a van with a lot of room, it's going to be pretty tight trying to do much fucking in there.

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