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Are Women More Patient about Waiting for the Bathroom?


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@Pisikak

"This is indeed a fascinating subject - how all that programming only works to an extent, and ceases to work when she's on the brink of wetting. Or does it?"

I think the programming runs pretty deep for the most part. I know that even when I am absolutely bursting I still wait patiently in line and I don't attempt to cut in line or anything like that, nor would I use the men's room or attempt to go to the bathroom outside except for maybe one time in my life and that was very hard to deal with. So yes even though my mind is screaming at me for relief I still nonetheless wait patiently. I'd like to say that I don't let society's programming get to me like that since I am so nonconformist in every other way, but when it comes to going to the bathroom I guess I really am like most other women in that I will wait patiently with my legs crossed tightly no matter how badly I have to go, even if there is an empty men's room right next door. I will get frustrated, I will get annoyed by it, but I will still go on waiting nonetheless.

"I once read an article by some American urologists explaining that we get the first sensation of needing to pee at about 40% bladder capacity. After the first sensation, they define several more stages:

- can hold it no problem, would casually use the toilet if one was available

- constant urges to pee, though can still hold it, there's no pain or risk of leakage

- constant urges with pain and/or leaking and risk of wetting"

I definitely think this is true because at work I usually need to go to the bathroom after about two hours and then by hour three it's pretty difficult to ignore and then by hour four all's I can think about is going to the bathroom. By the time I finally do get to go at about 6 1/2 hours I'm guessing that my bladder must be pretty close to 90% full.

@SoBursting

"Couldn’t agree more, not wanting to be viewed as weird and have people’s opinions of you change to the negative I often don’t enquire for that reason and basically most not into omo wouldn’t understand,"

I have to admit it sometimes hard to keep a straight face when you are waiting in line for the bathroom or something like that you know all these other women around you need to pee, or like when I am at work and I know my coworkers are absolutely bursting, they would probably be far less sympathetic to me being in the similar situation if they knew how much pleasure I was taking in the fact that they were in bladder pain as well. But again they are like me, even though we all know we have to go to the bathroom extremely bad we all wait patiently saying little about it, and then at the end of the day we line up in an orderly manner, we may fight each other to be first in line and really bolt for the bathroom, but in the end if we are not the first one in line we wait patiently for the others to go before us no matter how explodingly full our bladders are.

 

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I can totally relate.    I don’t like telling people I need to pee. I don’t know why, I just think girls grow up with the idea that we shouldn’t share that kind of need with people because it’s

I have noticed that women out with a group of friends will often wait until a few people mention needing the toilet before they all go together. I hardly ever see a woman leave a group in order to go

During my years at high school I hated using the loos as older kids smoked in them so I was afraid to go myself. During Uni it felt antisocial to interrupt a group talking to run to the loo too so I w

6 minutes ago, SoBursting said:

I explained I liked to know how desperate like out of 10, when was she first needing, how long was she needing for etc, eventually I got what I was looking for and have shared some stories of her on here,

In my experience, fetish-based relationship of any kind don't really last, so there's a frequent need to look for a new partner. It's not necessarily a bad thing because it might as well be because of you - like when you already read all her desperation experiences, perfectly know how she reacts, what she does to hold it, what she says etc. etc. She's already explored in this sense and it there's no other attachment there's no further need to maintain this kind of relationship.

And with every new girl it's a bit of a chore introducing her to this. You need to explain to her that you need:

- a story, that has a beginning, the has an end, and has some logic in between

- objective details (how much beer did she have with her girls, when did she go last, how long did she hold it?)

- subjective details (her feelings, her emotions, what did she do to help herself wait for longer, her body language and what not)

On the other hand, once she figures it out you've probably struck gold, because we already figured out in this thread that society expects ladies to always have desperation experiences to share 🥰

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13 minutes ago, Pisikak said:

With alcohol, all this stages are flying by rapidly, and if she's on the bus or a train, she has to get out before reaching her stop and desperately look for a place to pee.

This is indeed a fascinating subject - how all that programming only works to an extent, and ceases to work when she's on the brink of wetting. Or does it?

I argued that it's mainly alcohol's diuretic nature that makes ladies abandon their principles and look for the bushes, because similar effect can be achieved with energy drinks, watermelon, coffee, green tea, also if she takes blood pressure or kidney medication and what not.

@Pisikak the nature of the ex girlfriend I refer to is this, yet would hold forever if with me rather than pee openly in front of me like she would when with others,

i met her off a train once for drinks, she was double booked so attended a party left a gift had 2 drinks then left to meet me, got the train to meet me I was at the station waiting, when we met I went to greet her, hold and kiss she did so quickly and said cmon no time for this i need the loo, we walked to my car and drove the 1 minute to car park behind the pub, she reiterated her need and said as soon as were in the pub she would have to go straight to the loo, she was unnaturally squirming trying to conceal how bad it was yet I knew?

she left the party to catch train, no time to use loo in station as train was boarding, no time to go before at venue as had stayed politely just long enough to catch train, no loos on train so here she was,

when we walked from car park to pub she was taking Mindy small steps I noticed, she again announced her need as we reached the entrance, once inside I went to the bar to order we didn’t know where the loos where, she stood in a strange pose legs crossed and spoke over me to ask the barman where the loos where, he pointed them out and she went, she fills up really quickly and was probably bursting by the time she got off the train,

 

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8 hours ago, Pisikak said:

In my experience, fetish-based relationship of any kind don't really last, so there's a frequent need to look for a new partner. It's not necessarily a bad thing because it might as well be because of you - like when you already read all her desperation experiences, perfectly know how she reacts, what she does to hold it, what she says etc. etc. She's already explored in this sense and it there's no other attachment there's no further need to maintain this kind of relationship.

And with every new girl it's a bit of a chore introducing her to this. You need to explain to her that you need:

- a story, that has a beginning, the has an end, and has some logic in between

- objective details (how much beer did she have with her girls, when did she go last, how long did she hold it?)

- subjective details (her feelings, her emotions, what did she do to help herself wait for longer, her body language and what not)

On the other hand, once she figures it out you've probably struck gold, because we already figured out in this thread that society expects ladies to always have desperation experiences to share 🥰

Yeah I'd agree not to base relationships on fetishes. I'd been with my boyfriend/husband a few months before we even had sex, much less revealed our pee kinks to each other. In fact they only came out because I pissed my skirt while drunk underage at a party and he got turned on by it.

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I think it depends on the individual.... but in general, yes.

As some examples: my girlfriend and her sister will pee wherever they might be.  They are both outdoorsy types and if we are out hiking or whatever, they will just pop over to the side of the trail and squat and pee without a second thought.

Where I work, we spend time outside working on nature projects and are often away from civilization for hours at a time (sometimes nearly the entire day).   During this time the guys (myself included) will pee whenever we feel the need.

However, we have a female on staff who is often out with us and she will absolutely not pee anywhere except a toilet.   She has commented many times on how desperate she is, but only once ever mentioned she was seriously considering popping a squat because she was nearly at her limit, though she ended up holding it until we got many miles to a bathroom.  By the time we got there she was visibly desperate, having difficulty walking, and making the face you make when your body is trying to pee and your bladder is contracting and you're holding it back with all your might.     I think this may be the only time I've actually seen someone so desperate I wondered if they were going to wet themselves.

She isn't shy and she and I have talked about why not just popping a squat.  For her, it's not so much about "someone might see me" as much as it is about "I will make an absolute mess when I pee, probably peeing all over my shoes, pants, down my leg, etc".  So for her, she will hold on until the very last minute to avoid making a mess.

As I think more about this, at least for myself, normally when I'm peeing it's because I'm a little uncomfortable but not because I'm "extremely desperate".

If I'm out driving around by myself I might stop somewhere and pee, or just pee in a bottle.  However, when I'm driving around and this female is with me I hold much longer up to the point where I'm now desperate and won't pee until I'm starting to question my ability to hold more.  At that point I just find a tree, or piss against the truck tire.  

She doesn't mind and has said "it's the joys of being a male, why should you suffer?  You have a penis, I just have to hold it".

I think for guys, it's more of an "I can, so why should I hold it and be a little uncomfortable" vs "I really need to go so I'm going to."

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@alleycat89

"Where I work, we spend time outside working on nature projects and are often away from civilization for hours at a time (sometimes nearly the entire day).   During this time the guys (myself included) will pee whenever we feel the need."

Sounds like my job...

"She isn't shy and she and I have talked about why not just popping a squat.  For her, it's not so much about "someone might see me" as much as it is about "I will make an absolute mess when I pee, probably peeing all over my shoes, pants, down my leg, etc".  So for her, she will hold on until the very last minute to avoid making a mess."

For me it's a matter of both, but the fact that I will make a mess and the fact that people will see me and certainly the fact that people could see me making a mess is incentive enough to hold until you are in agony if necessary.

"As I think more about this, at least for myself, normally when I'm peeing it's because I'm a little uncomfortable but not because I'm "extremely desperate".

I think that this is true of most people, most people will tend to go to the bathroom when they start to feel uncomfortably full. The difference is that with guys they can usually go and relieve themselves just when they are uncomfortable, but for women they might have to patiently wait until they are extremely desperate before getting that opportunity and that's what makes it especially frustrating for us.

"She doesn't mind and has said "it's the joys of being a male, why should you suffer?  You have a penis, I just have to hold it".

I kind of agree with this as well, I mean I'm not going to prevent a guy from relieving themselves since he can easily relieve himself, I just get really jealous and frustrated over the fact that I can't do likewise. I mean if I had the same opportunity to relieve myself I would do so so I'm not going to criticize someone for doing something that I would do if I possibly could just because I can't.


"I think for guys, it's more of an "I can, so why should I hold it and be a little uncomfortable" vs "I really need to go so I'm going to."

Exactly! Guys can go so why would they be uncomfortable, but women can't so sometimes and up having to wait until they really need to until it's an absolute emergency simply because the opportunity doesn't present itself right away. So I do think it's often a case of the men will just relieve themselves at the first need or opportunity, where as women will often end up be stuck holding it for a really long time to the point where it is more likely she will end up not getting to go until she is really truly direly in need. I think it's rare for guys to have to wait until they're nearly bursting to relieve themselves whereas the women I think it's not all that uncommon if not the norm for certain people.

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21 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

@alleycat89

 

Exactly! Guys can go so why would they be uncomfortable, but women can't so sometimes and up having to wait until they really need to until it's an absolute emergency simply because the opportunity doesn't present itself right away. So I do think it's often a case of the men will just relieve themselves at the first need or opportunity, where as women will often end up be stuck holding it for a really long time to the point where it is more likely she will end up not getting to go until she is really truly direly in need. I think it's rare for guys to have to wait until they're nearly bursting to relieve themselves whereas the women I think it's not all that uncommon if not the norm for certain people.

Regarding the incident I described, she's usually pretty good about holding her bladder (which amazes me at times), but this time we had both gotten large coffee before heading out for our day's work -- I think she had thought we were going to be closer to civilization on this job.

I guess what got me most about this incident I described is she seemed literally willing to risk an accident to try to get to a toilet.    We were in the literal middle of nowhere when she mentioned she needed to pee badly and was considering popping a squat, but really didn't want to if she could avoid it.   Plenty of cover, absolutely no chance of anyone coming around.   Then as we finished what we were doing and were heading back, it was probably a 30 minute drive - at which point we were in open fields on a highway until we got to a service center, so no where to stop if she changed her mind.

And this wasn't just "I could use a pee", it was "hey before we head off into the brush to collect things, can we stop somewhere?  I need to pee.. it's not an emergency, just precautionary?".   Unfortunately, we were already well beyond the area of any civilization at that point so she admitted defeat and carried on.    I think the coffee just hit her way quicker than she anticipated it would because shortly there after the conversation kept turning repeatedly to how desperate she was, how full her bladder was, and how she really needed to pee badly.


She was already in obvious urinary distress before we started back to civilization - like I said, probably one of the more desperate events I've witnessed and as we were talking as we drove she would stop, and her face would go into kind of little contortions and her breathing would shudder a little bit.

Being "into" this sort of thing - I know exactly what that all means.  You're fighting your body's urges to involuntarily urinate.

I will say that when I'm working with her I will generally hold it longer than I would if I was by myself, just because I kind of feel guilty about taking a pee when she can't/won't - almost like ignoring that fact that females yes also pee.  I used to ask her "hey, do you mind if I take a quick pee?" because I felt so bad about it.     But at this point she's reiterated on multiple occasions that yes she does have penis envy at times.

The one time we were on a business trip and stuck in serious traffic - like bumper to bumper not moving for hours.   We had stopped at facilities along the way a little while ago, but it was a dumpy little gas station and had no bathrooms open to the public.  Well then we hit this traffic jam.   We had already been driving for probably 5 hours at that point and were both extremely desperate, looking for an exit with something when we got into this mess.

That was when she told me that if I really had to go there was no point in holding it and being uncomfortable I could just use one of the coffee cups in the car.     I told her I'd keep that in mind as I was almost at the point of no return, but wasn't there yet.   Plus, I felt really bad about this.... I don't know for sure how desperate she was, but I was literally at the point where I could barely walk to the toilet when we finally got somewhere and was holding back urges.     Probably another 30 minutes or so and I would have used that cup -- but again, it just seemed horribly unfair, and I was also worried doing that right in front of her might push her bladder over the edge, so alas..... it was a desperate sprint to the bathrooms when we arrived lol.

 

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@alleycat89

"I will say that when I'm working with her I will generally hold it longer than I would if I was by myself, just because I kind of feel guilty about taking a pee when she can't/won't - almost like ignoring that fact that females yes also pee.  I used to ask her "hey, do you mind if I take a quick pee?" because I felt so bad about it.     But at this point she's reiterated on multiple occasions that yes she does have penis envy at times."

Once again I feel that it's not specifically the penis we envy, so much as the convenience of which it provides for urination. It's just like it's amazing how that little difference the fact that you have something you can aim like that discreetly makes life so much easier when it comes to relieving yourself, like totally a world of difference it makes. It's nice that you try not to rub it in her face that you can pee when when she can't like that, but again in a situation like that I would probably be the similar, I mean I would tell the guys go pee, I would be annoyed that they are peeing but it's stupid for them not to relieve themselves when they can do so easily, why should we all be uncomfortable, it's just still very very frustrating! And again it really is crazy to think that that means the difference between being able to go as soon as you feel the urge or whenever you need it, versus having to hold on uncomfortably for hours just to get basic relief.


I remember one time at my job in the summer that one of my male coworkers was having a conversation with me and I think that I was very visibly desperate and I don't know if that just sort of triggered in the having to go himself, but he asked if he could be excused for a moment and he went off and relieved himself and then came back and just continued our conversation like nothing happened, and I am standing there trying to keep a straight face and I'm like thinking, did you just leave to go to the bathroom in the middle of our conversation and then returned knowing that I am not getting to go?! That to me felt like maybe he was just screwing around with me. Again maybe I'm reading too much into it but to me that was just like seriously, come on now!

"That was when she told me that if I really had to go there was no point in holding it and being uncomfortable I could just use one of the coffee cups in the car.     I told her I'd keep that in mind as I was almost at the point of no return, but wasn't there yet.   Plus, I felt really bad about this.... I don't know for sure how desperate she was, but I was literally at the point where I could barely walk to the toilet when we finally got somewhere and was holding back urges.     Probably another 30 minutes or so and I would have used that cup -- but again, it just seemed horribly unfair, and I was also worried doing that right in front of her might push her bladder over the edge, so alas..... it was a desperate sprint to the bathrooms when we arrived lol."

I know this torture well from personal experience as I remember when I was a kid they had these little sort of portable urinals in the car that my boy cousins can pee into really discreetly, but I had nothing that I could use, so I basically had to wait until the rest stop, so I had to sit there with a full bladder as my cousins just sort of peed into this thing right next to me, and then when we finally did get to the rest stop I was pretty much running like a crazy bat out of hell just to get to the freaking bathroom! It really is incredibly maddening. And I think that that was where it developed into my personal pet peeve but not being able to go when others are relieving themselves. It just seems like a normal thing that happens to women that you have to just get used to other people getting to go when you do not. The fact that I grew up in an overwhelmingly male family and had overwhelmingly male friends certainly did not help the situation at all!

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  • 3 weeks later...

I believe so, women are more patient, example, sad situation but I was at a funeral for an elderly family member, after it was over we were back at a relatives house for tea, there were about 30 of us all ages men and women,

a female relative of mine caught my eye as she was sitting chatting with others I could tell she was longing for the loo, she kept looking out the door down the hall to where the toilet was, as we were just back in the house from the service a number of people wanted to pee so one by one they organised themselves to visit the loo, 

everytime one came out another from the kitchen would go in, there was no line just an organised path of users, as we were in the living room my female relative was slightly out of the agreed line and mentioned she was waiting for a chance to visit the loo, I could see she was bursting as she was shifting in her seat a lot, her face was worried looking, she glanced down the hall waiting for the bathroom door to open and be vacant so she could go but everytime it opened someone from the kitchen would hear the door and walk in passing the person leaving at the door, 

my female relative got up and went to the kitchen (I followed) and asked if anyone was waiting for the loo next as she was wanting to go, she was informed an old uncle who was in the kitchen had been patiently waiting his turn and he was next, he offered my relative the opportunity to go before him she said no she would wait to go next, just then a female from the living room made her way to the bathroom before the person exited in front of the uncle not knowing people were waiting, she went in as the person exited,

a few tuts and huffs were exchanged at this only for uncle to hear the toilet flush shortly after then he made his way to the bathroom, as soon as he left my female relative couldn’t stand still and was doing a stepping on the spot pee dance crossing and uncrossing her legs, now standing she was more desperate than she was sitting, an elderly female commented she had better go next she said she would if it’s vacant, she was glancing down the hall to the bathroom and decided to not risk missing her turn and walked down to wait outside, as she waited alone in the hall adjacent to the door she was marching on the spot pressing a hand into her black skirt at the front, she was very uncomfortable about to piss herself I thought, I decided to join her, I arrived saying hi explaining I was going soon so had better use the loo first, she stopped holding herself and changed her pee dance to a less obvious legs crossed bobbing up and down arms folded, she stated the obvious saying she was waiting for a chance to use the bathroom but it’s been busy and she can’t wait any longer, she returned to the stepping and pressing a hand in apologetic saying she was nearly peeing herself she was so desperate excusing her desperate dance and holding, just then thetoilet flushed and the water was running he was washing his hands, she was muttering and stepped closer to the door, just then the door opened and she squeezed past locking the door then I heard a frantic swishing of skirt material and her black tights and panties before a hissing pee noise, 

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I'll be honest I'm gonna have to say it's a mixed bag.  They're probably willing to wait longer in a line because they're used to there being lines, but they're also not usually conditioned to hide their desperation as much as men are from my experience and, more importantly, women seem to be pickier about the condition of a restroom than men tend to be (which I find odd because my time working in retail and having to clean restrooms revealed to me that, most of the time, the women's restrooms were the dirtier ones...mostly because women tended to be too germaphobic to actually want to sit on the seat and instead try to "hover" over it, and this is coming from a guy who's a bit of a germaphobe myself).

Edited by D0nt45k (see edit history)
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@D0nt45k

Your patience in waiting for the restroom is not about how much you show it it's just how much you are willing to wait. Just because you show desperation doesn't mean that you still aren't patient about waiting for the bathroom even though you are desperate. But you are right that women tend to be pickier about toilets because when you actually have to make physical contact with the seat you care about whether it is in good shape.


I was sort of the weird one in my family and that I used the bathroom everywhere and the other women in my family avoided public bathrooms like the plague because they literally thought that it was a plague in that they would get sick from using it.

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