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Are Women More Patient about Waiting for the Bathroom?


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@China Girl

The issues are more mainstream and accepted is America but in a lot of regions of the country there would be a lot of people who would take offense or actually promote violence towards women holding hands like that or men holding hands more likely. Homophobia is a problem worldwide but some cultures are more open about it than others. But I'm just glad that I say don't live in the Bible Belt where that thing would be widely disapproved of and where there is still a lot of discrimination against gay and transgender people.


I mean I'm sure I could get an Asian schoolgirl outfit but I said I am just I would feel weird wearing it as a 37-year-old white woman. Most of the people around me already seem to think that I have a lot of issues and that I am weird and judge me for it and think I should be institutionalized, that probably wouldn't help…

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I can totally relate.    I don’t like telling people I need to pee. I don’t know why, I just think girls grow up with the idea that we shouldn’t share that kind of need with people because it’s

I have noticed that women out with a group of friends will often wait until a few people mention needing the toilet before they all go together. I hardly ever see a woman leave a group in order to go

During my years at high school I hated using the loos as older kids smoked in them so I was afraid to go myself. During Uni it felt antisocial to interrupt a group talking to run to the loo too so I w

If people think you should be institutionalised where you live you probably need to change your behaviour. There's nothing wrong with being into omorashi but don't act in an inappropriate way around strangers. I've worn diapers and fetish uniforms in public before with zero issues, even though people would be pretty shocked if they knew why I was doing it. Just be modest about it and don't force it on people.

You could get a school girl outfit to play with a girlfriend at home. Just don't wear it out in public in a way that bothers people.

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The people around me know nothing about my personal sexual fetishes and probably just assume I am a sexual since I have never been in a relationship, it's just from the youngest age I've been constantly told him abnormal, I am weird, I'm autistic, why can't be normal and that I belong in a mental hospital because I'm a poorly functioning individual and I am just weird all around. I don't really come from the most tolerant of backgrounds really as I have basically been constantly put down and everything for basically everything that I do. Really it's only in communities like this and I ever felt any small degree of acceptance at all really. But now things are getting way off topic from women being patient about not getting to piss LOL.

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People definitely want mentally ill people put away here too, but really it's for their own safety since they can't look after themselves. If it's not fetish related then I don't know what makes them think you're crazy, since all I've noticed is that you write massive essays on why omorashi is mostly a female fetish (something I agree with, in a lot fewer words...). But without that, I'm not sure what advice I can give. I find it sad that you as a lesbian have never had a relationship. I've only ever had the relationship with my husband but without that life would be a lot less for me. Even if she isn't into pee at all, it helps to have someone to share your troubles with.

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11 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

@China Girl

The issues are more mainstream and accepted is America but in a lot of regions of the country there would be a lot of people who would take offense or actually promote violence towards women holding hands like that or men holding hands more likely. Homophobia is a problem worldwide but some cultures are more open about it than others. But I'm just glad that I say don't live in the Bible Belt where that thing would be widely disapproved of and where there is still a lot of discrimination against gay and transgender people.


I mean I'm sure I could get an Asian schoolgirl outfit but I said I am just I would feel weird wearing it as a 37-year-old white woman. Most of the people around me already seem to think that I have a lot of issues and that I am weird and judge me for it and think I should be institutionalized, that probably wouldn't help…

You should try wearing it inside and have fun. Who cares what others think, love yourself. I enjoy wearing outsides inside, I don't have the guts to go outside haha. But with omo, yeah, I told my previous gf's about omo and most of them got mad and even told our group of friends and everybody treated me like a freak too, but don't worry about those people they really just want to bring you down. As long as you're not doing anything unlawful who cares? 

Also - Asian cultures have so many amazing outsides. I don't know much about China (I want to learn more from China Girl!), but I really love Japanese outfits. Having a woman in a kimono holding it in is one of my biggest fascinations - and I've seen that in a lot of Japanese media too because it's a common situation - the women drink a lot of fluids during a festival and then they can't easily take off the kimono because it's a complex outfit to take off!

Look into "office lady" outfits too, I always get my spouse to dress up to mix things up a little! 

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In China we have the 旗袍 which is a very cute traditional dress. I have one but my husband won't let me wet it, unless I have a diaper underneath. He says it's too nice for my silly pee games, LOL.

I have had loads of fun in office lady outfits, but I don't actually wear one to work. I wear a much comfier flared skirt with deep pockets that gives me freedom of movement, or even a miniskirt if I'm feeling naughty. I'm a huge skirt fan but restrictive pencil skirts just suck to wear. I really don't get the appeal since they ruin the whole point of skirts, which is to give freedom to the wearer's legs compared to the restriction of pants. To achieve this you either have a short miniskirt or a longer flared out skirt, both of which are great fun and comfy to wear. Long tight skirts are dumb.

Edited by China Girl (see edit history)
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I take the train there and walk. Cycling on busy streets where I live is dangerous and I don't fancy it. Sometimes when I'm walking up stairs in a miniskirt, diapered underneath, I like to think of the people below seeing my secret. But they probably hardly even notice if they're not into omorashi. After all the diapers I wear are plain and not so different from panties at a distance.

Edited by China Girl (see edit history)
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On 6/15/2021 at 9:00 AM, John said:

Having a woman in a kimono holding it in is one of my biggest fascinations - and I've seen that in a lot of Japanese media too because it's a common situation - the women drink a lot of fluids during a festival and then they can't easily take off the kimono because it's a complex outfit to take off!

Sorry. Actually, it is surprisingly easy to go to the restroom wearing a kimono. Otherwise, the coming-of-age ceremony that requires getting dressed early in the morning and taking off in the afternoon, will be full of accidents. lol
A kimono is a superimposed front robe. The lower part becomes a long wrapped skirt because it ties up several places between the underbust and the hipbone.

The method is, roll the skirts up, insert them between the belt and fix them with a clip. The ancestors in the era of no clips were carrying them their back.
It is also easy to take off. Just untie the belt and a few cords. The three-dimensional kimono returns to a flat surface like origami.

I borrowed a furisode (the most formal female kimono) for the ceremony. I had to keep it from stain, so I decided to hold it without trying this method. It was a thrilling mission, but I didn't feel like to go it because I met my friend after a long time. A furisode is too expensive (the price is for a compact car), so a yukata which wear at summer festivals is more reasonable. A culture that requires excessive modesty may give you the scene you want.

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Maybe another good question to ask to steer this back to the original topic is that are some cultures are more expecting of women to be more patient about going to the bathroom than others? I definitely think that that's probably the case even though I think worldwide women have to learn to be patient about getting to the bathroom regardless of their clothing or culture. Once again no matter where you look in the world you don't really see women making a big fuss over our lack of bathroom access most of the time. There seems to be lines everywhere in every culture and the women just continue waiting patiently in them.

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I'll steer this topic back on track; I know I can do so because I've literally read none of the replies. Whoosh, flew em by, didn't even skim them.

I'm only here because I scrolled by the topic title and immediately thought "Fuck no." I'm an office secretary, and when there isn't a global goddamn catastrophe happening, I am very often the one to close the office, being one of the only people in the entire building aside from janitors, after working several hours later than we're meant to be open because I specifically need to make sure stuff gets done. Stuff where I literally cannot get up to use the bathroom.

There is no patience then, and no mercy for anything on the physical plane that gets in my way. I wanna pee and go home, dammit!

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Well I can say in my cultural experience of drunk Chinese women who need to pee there's not a lot of patience. And I can't see how that would be different elsewhere. My best sightings are when they shamefully pee themselves outside because they can't wait, but there's also some naughty relief in there, too. After all, it's dark and it's not like people tend to notice unless they're looking for it.

Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a real unplanned pee accident which wasn't a result of alcohol. My friend and I peeing our skirts while running is kind of on purpose and doesn't count.

Edited by China Girl (see edit history)
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I think that alcohol definitely makes a difference because you lose control of your normal inhibitions and things of that nature. I think there has to be a distinct and made between when a woman is drunk and sober though. Now that I think about is actually a pretty good point because when I hear about most people witnessing accidents, or witnessing women using the men's room or something else that shows a lack of patience alcohol is usually involved.


In general though I think that under normal circumstances, i.e. sober, women still tend to be more patient about waiting for the bathroom. Even if you feel impatient about waiting for it if you still wait all day to use the bathroom, even if you are charging for the bathroom at the end of the day, which is something that I can definitely attest to, you still patiently waited all day just for that opportunity. If you didn't try to pee somewhere else during the day or do something about it or lose control, you still maintained some degree of patience, you may have felt impatient, but the fact was you still patiently held it all day.

Again I'm not saying that when women finally do get to go to the bathroom they're not like out of my way I have to go, or that they don't feel impatient about it, but going by actions most of those women nonetheless still end up waiting to go to the bathroom regardless, and to me that is what true patience is about, it's about the actions you take rather than how you feel. Feeling impatient to get to a bathroom yet still waiting to get to the bathroom for however long it takes shows that you do have patience.

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I see there's several new subjects to address.

1) The need to be discreet about your fetishes. That depends, and might not be necessarily true. During my college years I'd ask many girls I studied with about their desperation experiences. While some wouldn't say anything and would consequently view me as a weird one (to put it mildly), quite some others would be perfectly fine with talking about it, sharing their experiences, some would show interest in this fetish and try holding it intentionally. Ever since high school I didn't really make much of a secret I'm fond of this, and can say this approach has earned me a lot of experiences over the years. Also, by being straightforward about this in my relationships I was always able to ensure that I wouldn't be wasting time and otherwise on people not interested in it.

I perfectly realize that this sounds outlandish to most, as the majority is very reliant on the opinion of others and it is not uncommon for fetishes to be hidden even from their partners. Many people go online and look for communities like this one for acceptance - because they're afraid to practice their fetish in their life.

2) Are some cultures more expecting of women to be patient than others? Not really. I believe it would be right to say most women try to make it home, some wouldn't even consider public toilets for one reason or another, and most would only view the bushes as the last resort. The programming we spoke of earlier is largely the same wherever you look. And the suffrage took place in a roughly similar time frame as well.

Of course, there are edge cases, deeply rooted in culture and religion. Like the Arabian countries. Or India, which is a poster child for female toilets problem to the point they make movies about it. So long story short, the more certain society was patriarchal historically, the more "expectations" there are. Or, to word it better, the less accommodation and general regard for female needs there is.

3) Alcohol and wetting. I believe this has little to do with losing control of normal inhibitions, unless the lady is royally drunk, at which point she ceases to be of interest to me personally. Because my requirement is for her to be aware of her need, to feel the related discomfort and what not. When she's drunk, that's no longer the case.

9 cases out of 10 we're talking about alcohol's diuretic effect. In my experience, after a couple bottles of beer or a can of energy drink most ladies will have about 90 minutes before they must use the toilet or there's a puddle. Because of society's expectations and female programming (shyness and what not) sometimes that's simply not an option. This gives birth to numerous just made it and wetting scenarios, using the bushes and what not.

Most extreme desperation/wetting experiences follow a similar pattern:

- she had a lot of liquid and/or with diuretic properties before leaving (and/or haven't gone before leaving as she was in a hurry or otherwise);

- she felt a slight urge but it was not comfortable / not socially acceptable / too shy to address it;

- she got desperate to the point she would not care about about shyness anymore, but now there was objectively no way for her to do it (traffic, stuck in the elevator, long line to the ladies etc.);

- the ending 🙂

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@Pisikak

Point by point.

1) I think that the vast majority of people are discreet about their fetish, particularly with the opposite sex like that. Although I have talked to numerous guys who have talked to women about the topic and they have opened up about that, but even I have to admit as much as I talk about this I don't talk about it really with men or women outside of these type of communities. I talk a lot about bathrooms in general with basically everyone though, just not in a fetish context. But it's true that if you open up to somebody they might open up and share a lot of experiences, and as it has been said every single woman has a desperate experience to share if you ask her about it and she is willing to tell, most don't write entire books about it the way I do, but even when I do that I do it under a pseudonym, so I am not really as open about it outside of these communities really.

2) I largely agree with this assessment as it's largely pretty true throughout the world, but it's definitely true that in theocratic and patriarchal societies like the Middle East that there is much more sexual repression and that goes into all bodily functions, since a lot of religion seems to be obsessed with bodily contamination and purity and things of those nature. So anywhere that is important will probably also shortchange women our needs, much like in the past during the repressive Victorian era when they didn't provide female bathrooms thinking that they would be havens for immoral behavior like prostitution.


But again it's true that even in Western society and secular countries and stuff like that that women still generally do have to wait in line for the bathroom and are expected to do so patiently. Obviously the situation in Europe or the United States and Japan in places like that are better than in the Middle East or India, and even there they are trying to address the problem, but worldwide it is generally expected that women will hold it patiently if a bathroom is not available whereas men will just relieve themselves pretty much anywhere.

3) You are right that it's probably mostly did the diuretic effect, but alcohol often does lead to a loosening of inhibitions. When you look at a lot of these stories that we read on boards like this alcohol is frequently involved in a situation where women resort to popping a squat or something of that nature or where they end up having an accident. I think it's a combination of the fact that you are having to pee more as well as the fact that you are less inhibited, so I think it's a combination of those factors is why alcohol features in so many of these type of stories.


It kind of makes me wonder if in the past one of the reasons why women were forbidden from going to the saloons and bars, aside from the male atmosphere, was simply because a lot of people as the saying goes felt that women could not hold their liquor, which a lot of people still believe to these days, which again is another double standard suggesting that women need to show more self-control than men do.

I can't really speak of this from personal experience though because I don't drink alcohol. I have a family history of alcoholism, I'm a writer and I have severe acid reflux disease to the point where a doctor examining my stomach said that I had the stomach lining an 85-year-old alcoholic, and when I said that I have never drank they found that hard to believe! So if I did drink I am sure that it would not go well for me, and given how much I go to the bathroom just drinking a small amount of water I probably couldn't hold my liquor very long, I'd probably be peeing every 20 seconds!

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Very well explained @Pisikak the alcohol issue is the obvious difference from normal waiting longer than one would prefer but can manage it to a point to the alcohol fuelled after a shorter period of time one WILL pee soon regardless of the struggle to wait,

when that need to pee again point comes around is all dependant on how much alcohol taken in, over what timescale, when last peed and how long the individual can wait before having to go again, in my experience the next pee is usually screaming  an hour later,

some don’t think of toilet issues when drinking and deal with situations as they arise, examples - I have seen women who have been bursting on way home say they forgot to visit the loo before they left explaining they never felt the need to go at leaving time and never considered the situation they are in now could arise, or example an ex girlfriend would be conscious usually to always go before she left and would go again if the last pee wasn’t the minute we were leaving as she knew she would be bursting again before arriving home and wanted to avoid peeing in public that she did often when the journey home was delayed and she couldn’t wait till home,

another experience I heard when out with friends was the discussion on how we met our partners and the female friend said surprisingly as she was quite professional and proper tall slim girl that she was home one night in a new town where she got a new job and didn’t know people yet she was in the rented room after being out with the girls from work she was needing the loo but the flat owner an older lady was running a bath, she was always running a bath at inconvenient times, she waited and waited until the bathroom was free but this wasn’t happening, as it wasn’t too late and having met the girl in the next door house a few times she decided to ask her if she could use her loo, when she did the girl had a visitor, her brother, who was now the girls husband, that was where they met for the first time,

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@SoBursting

I think that would be a funny story to tell the kids that someday if they ever have kids. You wouldn't exist if mommy didn't have a bursting bladder and couldn't wait because otherwise she would have never met daddy that way!


Another factor with alcohol though that I think results in desperation and accidents is that your judgment tends to be impaired if you are drinking a large amount, so a woman who would normally go to the bathroom before leaving a place might be thinking because she is drunk all I can probably make it home, and she doesn't take into consideration the fact that alcohol is going to make her need to pee sooner, which results in these types of situations. So it's probably a case that when you are blasting the full and drunk that you probably also have poorer judgment about estimating how long you can wait.

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1 minute ago, DesperateJill said:

@SoBursting

I think that would be a funny story to tell the kids that someday if they ever have kids. You wouldn't exist if mommy didn't have a bursting bladder and couldn't wait because otherwise she would have never met daddy that way!


Another factor with alcohol though that I think results in desperation and accidents is that your judgment tends to be impaired if you are drinking a large amount, so a woman who would normally go to the bathroom before leaving a place might be thinking because she is drunk all I can probably make it home, and she doesn't take into consideration the fact that alcohol is going to make her need to pee sooner, which results in these types of situations. So it's probably a case that when you are blasting the full and drunk that you probably also have poorer judgment about estimating how long you can wait.

Good point if they had kids that would be a funny story to tell 🙂 I recall that story as she explained it matter of fact my head was racing to ask discreetly about the situation in more detail but the conversation had swiftly changed and the moment had gone, dam!

absolutely agree judgement can be impaired, the many many desperate accounts I have are mostly from alcohol induced situations, 

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@SoBursting

That is always the conflict when you have a fetish like this as you always want to hear more details but you don't want to seem like you are too interested. You don't want to seem too excited or something like that they will probably think that it's rather strange. I know that everyone who knows me knows that I want to hear more about bathroom related things and anything related to bathrooms, but I don't want to seem so enthusiastic that I am actually aroused by it!

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7 minutes ago, DesperateJill said:

I think it's a combination of the fact that you are having to pee more as well as the fact that you are less inhibited, so I think it's a combination of those factors is why alcohol features in so many of these type of stories.

When a girl is holding it for me in a controlled environment so to speak, I like to ask her how she would behave in public upon reaching this or that stage:

- would try making it home ASAP

- would look for a cafe or smth

- would consider the bushes

- would pee literally anywhere as it's better than wetting

With alcohol, all this stages are flying by rapidly, and if she's on the bus or a train, she has to get out before reaching her stop and desperately look for a place to pee.

This is indeed a fascinating subject - how all that programming only works to an extent, and ceases to work when she's on the brink of wetting. Or does it?

I argued that it's mainly alcohol's diuretic nature that makes ladies abandon their principles and look for the bushes, because similar effect can be achieved with energy drinks, watermelon, coffee, green tea, also if she takes blood pressure or kidney medication and what not.

14 minutes ago, SoBursting said:

some don’t think of toilet issues when drinking and deal with situations as they arise, examples - I have seen women who have been bursting on way home say they forgot to visit the loo before they left explaining they never felt the need to go at leaving time and never considered the situation they are in now could arise

Indeed. Often it's a combination of "expectations" - was too shy to ask, there was a huge line, there was no toilets around and the lady's "it's no biggie, I can hold it".

I once read an article by some American urologists explaining that we get the first sensation of needing to pee at about 40% bladder capacity. After the first sensation, they define several more stages:

- can hold it no problem, would casually use the toilet if one was available

- constant urges to pee, though can still hold it, there's no pain or risk of leakage

- constant urges with pain and/or leaking and risk of wetting

After the initial sensation, it escalates to the next stage roughly each 30 minutes. So there's about an hour and a half from the first sensation to the wetting. All that provided she was sufficiently hydrated with beer, energy drinks, herb tea and what not.

So when she thinks she can hold it, she fails to realize two things:

1) when she starts to feel it, she already has quite some pee accumulated there;

2) like @DesperateJill says, she's rapidly filling, so that's stuck in traffic desperation waiting to happen.

To conclude, for a desperate experience to emerge, there needs to be a combination of factors - diuretic liquids (including alcohol, yet not necessarily) and a lady that conforms to the society's expectations for her to be patient and hold her pee home. That conforms, perhaps, a bit too much.

 

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4 minutes ago, DesperateJill said:

@SoBursting

That is always the conflict when you have a fetish like this as you always want to hear more details but you don't want to seem like you are too interested. You don't want to seem too excited or something like that they will probably think that it's rather strange. I know that everyone who knows me knows that I want to hear more about bathroom related things and anything related to bathrooms, but I don't want to seem so enthusiastic that I am actually aroused by it!

Couldn’t agree more, not wanting to be viewed as weird and have people’s opinions of you change to the negative I often don’t enquire for that reason and basically most not into omo wouldn’t understand,

the only person I ever confided in to see if she would tell me more of her desperation experiences for my own gratification was an ex girlfriend, she was reluctant at first but started emailing me things like ‘hey was out with girls last night, peed a lot’ I had to like but she wasn’t getting it, I had to try and explain I would like to know if she was desperate on the way home etc, she would reply ‘yes was needing when I got home’ again not enough info, I explained I liked to know how desperate like out of 10, when was she first needing, how long was she needing for etc, eventually I got what I was looking for and have shared some stories of her on here,

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