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Part 3   We were standing in silence in the hallway for a good five minutes. Neither of us wanted to say anything that Mom would hear on the recording. It was clear that Sarah was trying to

Sorry about the delay. I have a plan of wrapping up this story by the end of part 5 so please leave any suggestions to let the story end better.    Part 4   After Mom taught me how

This is my first story I’ve written here. This part contains desperation and wetting. Future parts will have messing and diapers.    Part 1   Hi, I’m an 18 year old boy in my final

On 5/18/2021 at 3:44 PM, FR123FR said:

“Oh God!” She said through her tears. “I can’t have her find out about this. She’ll give me a crazy, awful punishment that no normal parent would give their child. Just like she does whenever we do anything wrong,” Sarah continued.

I enjoyed this first chapter overall, but I can't help feel like this line is just a bit too on the nose, unless this is going to be a parody of the usual sorts of stories, in which case that's probably fine.

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6 hours ago, FittedForMe said:

I enjoyed this first chapter overall, but I can't help feel like this line is just a bit too on the nose, unless this is going to be a parody of the usual sorts of stories, in which case that's probably fine.

Sorry, this is my first time writing anything like this. I’m just trying to get across how this mother is absurd with punishments to set up future parts. Do you have any suggestions to write it a bit better?

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This part will be relatively short. Please give whatever feedback you can good or bad. I really want to improve as this story goes on. 

 

Part 2

 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Sarah muttered quickly. “What should I do?” She asked me. 

 

“I don’t think there’s anything you can do, she’s definitely seen you,” I shrugged. 

 

I felt really bad for Sarah’s predicament but I couldn’t help feeling quite mad that she couldn’t hold her pee for two more minutes. I didn’t know how bad Mom would punish Sarah for this but I knew that I would suffer from it too. 

 

It didn’t take long to figure out that Mom was in a foul mood. She climbed out of the car with her bag in her arms and slammed the car door shut all in one motion. She stormed into the house and immediately all hell broke loose. Sarah’s face was already red from her tears and embarrassment from a few minutes ago and it didn’t take long for Mom to make more tears come. 

 

“I tried to go at school but there wasn’t enough time before the bus left. It was an accident! I’m so sorry Mom, please don’t be mad at me.”

 

“That apology was pathetic,” I thought. “Surely she knew she wasn’t going to get away with this by trying to get some sympathy from Mom.”

 

“Not only have you embarrassed me by pissing yourself in the garden, you also have the nerve to cry like a baby standing in your pissed pants?” Mom asked rhetorically while visibly stressed. “You couldn’t hold your piss in for another minute? Is there something wrong with you?”

 

I prayed that this wouldn’t turn into a long rant. Thankfully Sarah started talking again. 

 

“This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this. I normally go at the end of school but class ended late and I had to make the bus. It’ll never happen again, I promise Mom.”

 

Mom was clearly about to furiously respond but suddenly stopped herself. A thought had definitely occurred to her, one that I knew almost certainly had to do with Sarah’s punishment. 

 

“I’m going to run to the store real quick. You are to stay right where you are, standing, no sitting. Darren, use your phone to record Ms. Pissy-pants so I can see she hasn’t moved. I want the recording to be from when I shut that door until I open it again. Is that clear?”

 

“Yes Mom,” I said, reluctantly taking my phone out. 

 

Sarah just slightly nodded her head in shame. 

 

The door shut and just as I was about to hit record, Sarah said something I really didn’t want to hear about for a long time. 

 

“Darren, I still need to pee. Badly!” She added. 

 

Could this day get any worse? Yes, yes it definitely could. 

——————————————————————

I know this is probably annoying but please let me know any improvements or of any suggestions you have for the story. 

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15 hours ago, FR123FR said:

Sorry, this is my first time writing anything like this. I’m just trying to get across how this mother is absurd with punishments to set up future parts. Do you have any suggestions to write it a bit better?

Maybe instead of: “I can’t have her find out about this. She’ll give me a crazy, awful punishment that no normal parent would give their child. Just like she does whenever we do anything wrong.”

Instead write: "I can’t have her find out about this. You know how she gets whenever we do something she doesn't like. She'll blow it all out of proportion, and we'll both get roped into it. You know we will."

This gets the same point across, that the mother has a history of reacting poorly to things that displease her, and will likely punish both the son and the daughter in an unusually harsh way.

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2 hours ago, FittedForMe said:

Maybe instead of: “I can’t have her find out about this. She’ll give me a crazy, awful punishment that no normal parent would give their child. Just like she does whenever we do anything wrong.”

Instead write: "I can’t have her find out about this. You know how she gets whenever we do something she doesn't like. She'll blow it all out of proportion, and we'll both get roped into it. You know we will."

This gets the same point across, that the mother has a history of reacting poorly to things that displease her, and will likely punish both the son and the daughter in an unusually harsh way.

That’s much better yeah. Thanks for your help!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ah. Lol I always hope this kind of batshit insane narcissistic parents doesn't exist in real life but they're sure an important trope of ABDL stories. 

This had a great start and it's getting even better.

I really love that last thing Sarah said.  It's so good to see the apprehension and disgust turn into indifference, and then even enjoyment. After all, she is right. It does feel nice and warm. The best thing you can do is admit it.

Also I saw the messing tag and I'm getting excited about it. That fart was a good omen 😛

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