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Bladder shy vs. Bladder expressive


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During my life there have always been linear scenarios where there are two types of people involved. I’m talking blue vs red, dogs vs cats, extroverts vs introverts, etc. These things all depend on the type of person you are and what experiences you have. When I come across the concept of desperation I came up with a claim that there are two types of people: those who are bladder shy and those who are bladder expressive. I thought today I would dive deeper into this so let’s get to it with some questions.

1. What’s the difference?

There are very distinct differences between these two types of people yet they can also be very similar. Let’s get to some details.

Bladder shy: this person can be an extrovert or an introvert, it doesn’t matter. They just find it hard to express their need to pee to others in fright of embarrassment. These types of people are usually the ones who would end up waiting until the last second to use the bathroom when they are on the verge of wetting themselves. The first signs of knowing they are desperate usually come from visual queues such as shaking and dancing from side to side. You can also see it in their face expression, but not all the time since people like this are very good about being subtle about their desperation. This person never says they need to pee out loud and dreads having to answer questions such as “do you need to go to the bathroom?” and “do you want to stop by a bathroom?”. When they answer it’s almost always the same response depending on how much they truly need to go: “Nope, I’m fine!” In reality this statement is false most of the time and can cause false awareness of the situation on hand. This type of person also likes the comfort of their own bathroom too rather than public restrooms.

Bladder expressive: This person is way less shy about their needs (not just pee) and is very open to expressing them to their friends, family, and even strangers sometimes. This is because they don’t have the fears of being unrelatable with others because they know that peeing is a normal bodily function and that others respect that. This person is also open to tell others when they are going to the bathroom and sometimes offer to go with others. From them you can hear types of lines such as “I really need to pee!”, “I’m not sure I can make it!”, “I’m going to pee my pants!”, and others as well. I remember a girl in my Spanish class once said out loud to the whole class, “guys, I’m going to pee my pants”; the teacher asked her if she knew she said that out loud and she responded, “yeah I know, but I’m going to pee my pants” (and for all of you curious people she didn’t. It was a sad day for me lol). People like this are also open to talk about peeing and joke about it too. This person may end up peeing themselves just as often as a bladder shy person but people would be way more aware it would be happening.

2. What makes these two similar?

Well, this question is a bit tougher but let’s think about the reactions people get from wetting in public. I’m sure it’s happened to most of us and I’m pretty sure to say most of us were embarrassed when it happened. Even though bladder expressive may have not been embarrassed for sharing their desperation their feeling on wetting themselves hits them in a whole different area. That may be the big similarity between the two, but I know for certain that this whole community isn’t on one end of the spectrum. This will be brought up in question 4.

3. Is this really as linear as vanilla vs chocolate or any of the other two sided arguments?

It’s actually funny that vanilla vs chocolate was brought up because the thing is it really isn’t linear. There’s more than two flavors to choose from such as strawberry, blueberry, and raspberry. Ice cream is a perfect analogy to desperation because to me you can choose middle ground or add extra flavor to one end of the spectrum. It may not be common to see but humans are hybrids and our society generates a ton of desperation hybrids. People can be bladder shy but are not too shy to go when they need to go, people could be bladder expressive and can deny to go pee because they don’t want to show weakness. There are people who post clips of their desperation but are also bladder shy. The world offers us a blend so that we aren’t unsatisfied by the lack of color in this world. Everyone was built different for a reason.

4. What type are you?

There are many ways you can identify yourself but when it comes to desperation it’s pretty easy to tell. I, for example, am very bladder shy. I always find it socially awkward talking to my friends about needing to go pee and bathrooms and stuff like that. Most of my friends I can identify as bladder expressive, but let me ask the community as my send off. What type are you and what type do you prefer? Thanks for reading!
 

 

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I am incredibly bladder-shy, to the point it's considered an actual medical problem in my case. (Called Paruresis) Not only is it difficult for me to speak up about needing a pee, when I get to a toilet I can't actually go if something is making me feel insecure. Those muscles just won't ease up and let me pee. It can get painful, there have been tons of times throughout my life where I've been extremely desperate to pee, but then I get to a toilet and can't get any relief no matter how hard I try to just relax and let it flow. My partner has been an amazing help to me with this, though, and him helping me out led to us exploring this kink together so there's a silver lining to it all there. 

As for my preferences, it varies. I really enjoy omo fiction where the character suffers from Paruresis because that makes the story a lot more relatable to me.  But, my partner tends to be extremely vocal and expressive when he's bursting, and that's very, very hot to for me to watch. 

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I am probably the most bladder expressive you can be. I have no fear in just pissing myself for all to see. It doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter where, it doesn't who with. I will piss myself the moment I feel that I need too. Having people see it and watch (and participate in the case of my boyfriend and friend group) Is just so fun. In fact, I will go out of my way to make sure I'm being witnessed sometimes if I'm especially in the mood.

The only times I won't just flat out piss myself are: A) In front of my parents and other relatives (even though my parents undoubtably know by now), and if it is really not a good time (aka it's a public place + it could stain + I would have no way to clean it myself.)

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I think it depends heavily on who I am with. With friends and family everybody knows that I go to the bathroom everywhere I go every chance I get and I would not be shy about saying that I need to find a bathroom. With strangers or coworkers or people that I don't know as well I am more reserved about announcing my need and will try to find a bathroom on my own, but if I really need to find a bathroom I will not be shy about asking because I would rather ask for a bathroom than risk any type of accident or extended discomfort.


Personality wise I am definitely introverted to a very very large degree and am uncomfortable in most social situations. But if I need to go I will not be shy about pursuing my need for relief, although I do find it somewhat embarrassing if I announce that I need to go and then it dawns on me I'm not going to get to go and that now everybody knows I need to go to, which makes me somewhat self-conscious.

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2 hours ago, LizJWetting said:

I suppose I'd describe myself as more on the bladder expressive end of the scale. I might not go as far as loudly admitting to a crowded room that I have to go, but I'm also not at all embarrassed about it either. To some extent I wonder if it's a cultural thing, like I'm British and it often seems to me that Americans are less comfortable talking about bodily functions than we are. Of course it depends on the person as well.

This actually is what I’m planning on writing about next. It feels to me that American culture is less accepting of an Omo kink and that’s why most of the stuff I watch comes from Britain.

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I am certainly bladder shy. For some reason, I find it very difficult to get the words that I need to pee out of my mouth when I am around people. Any people, it doesn't matter if it's friends or not. I will mostly try to sneak away with an excuse and visit the toilet. Or I wait till someone else needs to go and then say casually: "Oh, I will visit the toilet too in the mean time!"

I think this partly comes from the fact that I need to pee so frequently. So I rather do it in a discreet manner, so I don't get singled out with the comment "do you need to pee again?". I cannot handle it well when people start making fun of me that way, makes me feel awkward, so I try to avoid it.

The trouble is that I can get quite fidgety when I need to go bad. And I sort of turn more silent because I cannot concentrate on conversations. So it is then even more embarrassing when someone starts commenting on that and I have to admit I could use a toilet. Which causes comments like: "Why didn't you ask earlier?"

So lately I have tried to be a bit more open about it. And also acknowledge to people that I have a rather small bladder. Although some people react a bit surprised on it, I now get more empathic reactions. I even noticed that, as a side effect, many women suddenly open up about their pee adventures! So I certainly want to go further on the path to get less bladder shy.

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Guest Pineapple_

I have no issues telling people I need to pee. My only issues is peeing in the mens room. I have to sit because Im trans and it freaks me out that someone might figure that out. I know it's unlikely since I pass but it still scares me a lot.

Edited by Pineapple_ (see edit history)
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Guest Pineapple_
3 minutes ago, segaface said:

Have you tried any prosthetics to help you go standing? 

I've never tried it before. I bought a packer a few years ago which I only used a few times. It actually ended up making my dysphoria worse. It's turned me off from the whole idea tbh.

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im mostly bladder shy. I wont say anything until i'm on my last leg. Even then I'll usually just be like "Hey, I need to use the restroom real quick," to whoever i'm with and just kinda start looking around for one myself. and that's when I'm on the verge of wetting my pants. Obviously online I;m more expressive, especially here, but not in person.

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On 4/25/2021 at 4:01 PM, Pineapple_ said:

I've never tried it before. I bought a packer a few years ago which I only used a few times. It actually ended up making my dysphoria worse. It's turned me off from the whole idea tbh.

I've known a few transmasc people who don't like STP devices for that exact reason.  Urinals are a real challenge if you're trans.

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On 4/27/2021 at 7:52 AM, CarmenCD said:

I know how you feel. I also have to pee frequently and get remarks like "You have to go again?" or "Didn't you just been there?" Because of that, I tend to hold it as long as I can until I go again or sneak off, if I can.

Same. I alwayw feel like I'm an inconvenience to everyone when I'm on a road trip.

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  • 1 year later...

I am bladder shy for sure. However, there are people I have developed enough comfort with to be very expressive about it….probably a handful of people. 90% of the time I am shy. It is unfortunate for me and I am working on it because it would make me feel a lot better to just be free about it. I think because I am into omo I am self conscious about mentioning pee or needing to for fear of being found out. But I’m working on not caring because honestly it is what it is and everyone has close calls.

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