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Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve noticed that many of you seem to be slightly embarrassed by your fetish. I see posts asking for advice on how to break the news to their significant other. I see posts talking about how embarrassing it would be if you ever got caught. I’ve seen posts from married people talking about hiding from their spouses.

I used to do this. I was embarrassed about what I like. I was afraid that someone would walk in on me wetting, or my pissy pants would be seen in the laundry. I had to date a woman for months before I’d bring it up.

One day I just kinda said Fuck It. I’m pretty open about it now. Most people don’t care. It occasionally gets brought up as a joke, but I’m not subjected to ridicule or anything. The real magic of being open with it lies with how word spreads. If you’re open, you might meet someone who’s into this as well. I’ve met the love of my life partially because I don’t hide what I am anymore. Even before her, you’d be stunned at how many people are ok with a little piss play if you just bring it up like any other fetish.

Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you 

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I agree with most of what you´re saying, but I think you can own your fetish without telling the whole world about it. I don´t go around and talk about how often I masturbate, or give out details about my sex life, and that´s not because I´m ashamed of it, it´s just private stuff that I don´t think people want to hear about.  But if some friend asked me and really wanted to know about my kinks, or accidentily found out, I would have no problems with sharing it. 

With partners it´s a different thing of course, and I´m very happy that i came to the point of not being ashamed anymore, and able to open up about it early on in a relation. But I think you have to start being totally ok with it yourself, then it should be easy and not such a big deal to tell someone else. At least that´s how it worked for me.

I was very ashamed of it before, dead scared someone would find out. I was on a date then with a guy and we became very honest after a bottle of whine, and then he dragged it out of me, and it didn´t work out well at all. Not because of his reactions, but because I regretted it immedeately, and became awkward about it. I just wasn´t ready to tell someone yet, especially not a person i barely knew.  

With my current partner it was a totally different thing. By then I had made that decision to work my way out of the shame and pretty soon succeeded, much thanks to being an active member on this site.  I just told him like it was no big deal, and it wasn´t. It made it easy for him to open up about his kinks too, and now we´re having lots of fun. 

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Lol I’m not suggesting announcing it with a loudspeaker, I just quit being shy about it. If I’m with a group of people and the conversation turns to sex stuff, I’ll bring it up

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I think I'll always keep this just between my partner and I (and I guess Internet boards like this that don't show my real name). For most people, this is a particularly squicky thing and I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable around me. Or think I'm going to prevent them from using a toilet to indulge my fetish, or something. Nobody but my partner really needs to know about this, after all. 

The closest I've come to telling anyone else was when some friends were joking around about fetishes and asking one another if they had any. A few of my friends named their kinks, and when it was my turn I thought about bringing up this one, but chickened out. It was a bit easier to bring up the things I have for uniforms and feet than to admit to liking pee desperation.

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Guest CanbeWonders

I honestly aspire to this level of confidence.

Usually I am at least moderately open about my kinks, but I think this one has always left me a bit more scared and embarrassed because even within bdsm and kink communities it seems that anything involving pee is still a bit stigmatized, or least brings judgement. It's a bit of a hurdle for me for sure. 

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I'm no longer ashamed of it, recognizing that, like sex, there's harmless parts of it that don't hurt anyone and is fine to be into in those ways. But I am also really shy about this stuff and want to keep it to myself (except under anonymity like here).

If I do get more comfortable about talking about sexual stuff with people and they express fetishes and stuff... maybe. People I know, including almost all members of my family, find pee to be funny, but I'm not sure they even know it exists as a fetish. Though of course I'd be more willing to say I fantasize about girls wetting themselves than reveal that I engage in it myself.

I might be slowly working to this point though, but will take time and several steps.

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I am ashamed and have only recently started to reveal my fetish to potential sexual partners.

I am ashamed because my fetish originated when a girl in first grade peed her pants.  It makes me feel sick.  That I am attracted to accidents.  I’m not attracted to kids obviously but I think I am attracted to the fantasy of roleplaying a school accident of a potential sexual partner.  And it just seems wrong to me.

I don’t know.  I do wish I wasn’t born this way.

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9 hours ago, wet39 said:

I am ashamed and have only recently started to reveal my fetish to potential sexual partners.

I am ashamed because my fetish originated when a girl in first grade peed her pants.  It makes me feel sick.  That I am attracted to accidents.  I’m not attracted to kids obviously but I think I am attracted to the fantasy of roleplaying a school accident of a potential sexual partner.  And it just seems wrong to me.

I don’t know.  I do wish I wasn’t born this way.

You meet someone > You say about this fetish > They leave > Repeat the cycle

 

Like that?

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On 3/22/2021 at 7:43 PM, segaface said:

I think I'll always keep this just between my partner and I (and I guess Internet boards like this that don't show my real name). For most people, this is a particularly squicky thing and I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable around me. Or think I'm going to prevent them from using a toilet to indulge my fetish, or something. Nobody but my partner really needs to know about this, after all.

This is exactly why I don't intend to tell anyone. I do not want my friends to make inaccurate assumptions about it, especially that I've been secretly getting off in public every time I've needed to pee around them or vice versa (which I haven't, my fetish isn't that simple and it's mostly hypothetical/fictional).

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There's still a lot if people around who don't see the difference between ageplay and pedophilia, and think that being kinky is some kind of a mental disorder.

While I agree that it's better to not hide it from your significant other, or in other way - not settle with significant other who can't at least understand such important side if you, telling about your kinks left and right isn't always wise idea imo.

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On 3/22/2021 at 6:51 AM, DesertTortoise said:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve noticed that many of you seem to be slightly embarrassed by your fetish. I see posts asking for advice on how to break the news to their significant other. I see posts talking about how embarrassing it would be if you ever got caught. I’ve seen posts from married people talking about hiding from their spouses.

I used to do this. I was embarrassed about what I like. I was afraid that someone would walk in on me wetting, or my pissy pants would be seen in the laundry. I had to date a woman for months before I’d bring it up.

One day I just kinda said Fuck It. I’m pretty open about it now. Most people don’t care. It occasionally gets brought up as a joke, but I’m not subjected to ridicule or anything. The real magic of being open with it lies with how word spreads. If you’re open, you might meet someone who’s into this as well. I’ve met the love of my life partially because I don’t hide what I am anymore. Even before her, you’d be stunned at how many people are ok with a little piss play if you just bring it up like any other fetish.

Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you 

Flip the script! 

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On 3/22/2021 at 11:51 AM, DesertTortoise said:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve noticed that many of you seem to be slightly embarrassed by your fetish. I see posts asking for advice on how to break the news to their significant other. I see posts talking about how embarrassing it would be if you ever got caught. I’ve seen posts from married people talking about hiding from their spouses.

I used to do this. I was embarrassed about what I like. I was afraid that someone would walk in on me wetting, or my pissy pants would be seen in the laundry. I had to date a woman for months before I’d bring it up.

One day I just kinda said Fuck It. I’m pretty open about it now. Most people don’t care. It occasionally gets brought up as a joke, but I’m not subjected to ridicule or anything. The real magic of being open with it lies with how word spreads. If you’re open, you might meet someone who’s into this as well. I’ve met the love of my life partially because I don’t hide what I am anymore. Even before her, you’d be stunned at how many people are ok with a little piss play if you just bring it up like any other fetish.

Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you 

I'm really happy that you're this open with your fetish and that it worked out so well for you. I even agree to very much you say!

 

However, there is always risk involved with being open about sexual themes. I assume you're a straight guy telling this who never needs to think about any kind of repercussions it could have to be open about sexuality and stuff. It's different for homosexual people like me, or any LGBTIQ* people in general. There are still many places out in the world where being open and confident about yourself pretty much means that you're going to get killed.

I really agree with your general point, don't get me wrong. I'm not shy about my fetish when it comes to the dating scene, and I am very VERY lucky to live in a country where there are at least no legal consequences to fear for being anything other than heterosexual, though I find it a bit inconsiderate to suggest to everyone to just stop caring. When me and my ex boyfriend walked out on the streets one day holding hands, a group of kids saw us and one boy started laughing his ass off and shouting "Look, they're gay!"

Not that I care, obviously, it's just a hurtful reminder that there is still not the level of acceptance needed and deserved for differing sexualities and, in consequence, sexual practices, kinks, fetishes et cetera in everyone's mind.

 

So, wearing "I'm a gay dude who likes it if other dudes piss themselves, and what's your name?" like armor in, say, Iran, or even in my own home country of Germany some eighty years ago during the Nazi dictatorship, it would end up in someone poisoning me. No armor in the world would protect me then.

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On 3/26/2021 at 6:38 PM, younggermangay said:

I'm really happy that you're this open with your fetish and that it worked out so well for you. I even agree to very much you say!

 

However, there is always risk involved with being open about sexual themes. I assume you're a straight guy telling this who never needs to think about any kind of repercussions it could have to be open about sexuality and stuff. It's different for homosexual people like me, or any LGBTIQ* people in general. There are still many places out in the world where being open and confident about yourself pretty much means that you're going to get killed.

I really agree with your general point, don't get me wrong. I'm not shy about my fetish when it comes to the dating scene, and I am very VERY lucky to live in a country where there are at least no legal consequences to fear for being anything other than heterosexual, though I find it a bit inconsiderate to suggest to everyone to just stop caring. When me and my ex boyfriend walked out on the streets one day holding hands, a group of kids saw us and one boy started laughing his ass off and shouting "Look, they're gay!"

Not that I care, obviously, it's just a hurtful reminder that there is still not the level of acceptance needed and deserved for differing sexualities and, in consequence, sexual practices, kinks, fetishes et cetera in everyone's mind.

 

So, wearing "I'm a gay dude who likes it if other dudes piss themselves, and what's your name?" like armor in, say, Iran, or even in my own home country of Germany some eighty years ago during the Nazi dictatorship, it would end up in someone poisoning me. No armor in the world would protect me then.

I feel the same way, but in 1950s America where you'd get sent to a "conversion therapy camp." 

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"I feel the same way, but in 1950s America where you'd get sent to a "conversion therapy camp." 

Unfortunately you don't even have to go to the 1950s for that, they still have them today, but luckily now there has been an effort to ban them as abuse.

As a radical lesbian feminist socialist in the 1950s I'd have certainly found myself blacklisted or institutionalized.

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I get where you're coming from but it has been a deal breaker with some otherwise very nice relationships.  To cheer myself up I tell myself that it was still better to be honest, as I'm beyond having a relationship with it hidden away, and that they can't have really been right for me. I just respect their aversion to the subject and quietly move on (wondering what the hell they think of me for that!) But it does take me back to "If I didn't like pee the way I do, I would have had so much more fun in other ways". I have spells of really envying people who are a little more "standard issue". 

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Well, of course a potential partner would need to know this as it is part of who I am, whether my partner and I like it or not. Sexual topics can get uncomfortable in general. If part of your sexuality does not follow the norms this only multiplies. Omorashi is usually seen as "weird" and with that it is one of the sex topics that is hard to bring up for others. But no matter how difficult it might be, it is definitely better if your partner knows about it. In that light it is a good thing if you manage to bring it up.

To others, like friends, it's not as important. I feel like they don't need to know everything that you like sexually. Especially since sex is out of the question in most friendships. I personally add I have "a fetish" and leave it at that when it's relevant. At that moment it's all the infomation they need.

I have to add that I do need to grow more confident in my fetish. As it is now I do still have a hard time bringing this fetish up to romantic partners, and I am afraid they will reject me for it. I am planning to work on that. And for anyone who wants to work on it as well, you can learn to overcome your insecurities. It just takes a lot of practise and time.

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2 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

"I feel the same way, but in 1950s America where you'd get sent to a "conversion therapy camp." 

Unfortunately you don't even have to go to the 1950s for that, they still have them today, but luckily now there has been an effort to ban them as abuse.

As a radical lesbian feminist socialist in the 1950s I'd have certainly found myself blacklisted or institutionalized.

I'd have to flee to Eastern Europe, and even there, I'd be unwelcome. 

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I definitely agree that you should own up to your fetish. Afterall you didn't choose the fetish, it simply developed, so no matter what your fetish is about it's never your fault. You can only condemn someone for their actions. 

However in my case for example acting out the fetish isn't possible. I'm only into real accidents, I get turned on when people are stressed, in fear of wetting themselves, uncomfortable in general, and later on humiliated and upset. When my partner mentions they are going to use the bathroom my first instinct is to deny them access in whatever kind of situation. I prefer them to not be consenting. 

If I told anyone about my fetish or even tried to live it out I'd put them in a stressful and extremely uncomfortable situation which would affect them in their everyday life multiple times a day. So I can only internally own up to my fetish.

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I kept my wetting and diaper fetishes a deep dark secret until my second year of college after a girlfriend wet her pants on the way home one night and we went on a long walk the next afternoon, then the next year after a gf and I got back from a visit to her parents then she got me drunk and refused to allow me out of her dorm room to use a restroom. I became open in relationships about my wetting fetish after I was out of college. My plastic panty fetish was only revealed to to woman I married. I married her in part because she accepted my wetting. (Turned out she was only pretending to accept my wetting fetish)

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On 3/23/2021 at 8:17 PM, wet39 said:

I am ashamed and have only recently started to reveal my fetish to potential sexual partners.

I am ashamed because my fetish originated when a girl in first grade peed her pants.  It makes me feel sick.  That I am attracted to accidents.  I’m not attracted to kids obviously but I think I am attracted to the fantasy of roleplaying a school accident of a potential sexual partner.  And it just seems wrong to me.

I don’t know.  I do wish I wasn’t born this way.

I always feel sorry when I read answers like yours. You were born with a rather sweet and utterly harmless kink that you should be rather proud off.

That doesn't mean you need to tell everyone, but you should be happy that you have a kink that is both harmless and wonderful.

When that girl peed her pants, I guess you were about the same age, so what the hell is there to be ashamed of?

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I'm not ashamed and I can't actually remember a time when I was (I know it happened, it's just that far back in the rear view mirror) but I learned through painful experience in other matters just how important circumspection is, even before I got into survivalism.

Fortunately I haven't had to pull a "you know too much" on anyone in my personal life.

Yet.

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On 3/31/2021 at 5:49 PM, David_E said:

I always feel sorry when I read answers like yours. You were born with a rather sweet and utterly harmless kink that you should be rather proud off.

That doesn't mean you need to tell everyone, but you should be happy that you have a kink that is both harmless and wonderful.

When that girl peed her pants, I guess you were about the same age, so what the hell is there to be ashamed of?

We were the same age.

I don’t know why I feel the way I do.  Probably irrational.  I’m also clinically depressed.  So my thoughts and feelings are probably not sensible most of the time.

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7 hours ago, PrincessPeeach said:

I guess what bothers me about the whole “own your fetish” thing is that it’s founded on the notion that any of us “should” feel differently about our own personal experiences.

I think it’s great if you’re a person who feels comfortable and confident embracing this kink. But I don’t understand why that needs to extend to telling other people how they “should” feel about it.

Feelings are a personal thing. It’s absolutely normal to experience a range of them about this kink at different moments in time. It’s a journey to acceptance that we all go through at our own pace, and someone telling me I should be at the point of acceptance, isn’t going to get me there any quicker. 

I definitely have to agree with this. Like the own your fetish idea is... like I can see why it's a nice one and it's super empowering for Some people. But for some people, they aren't at the stage they're comfortable with it. Or maybe, they're in a position where they'd rather keep it to themselves for one reason or another. It's... kind of like um. Sometimes, you want to keep something to yourself explicitly bc it's yours. And maybe sharing it won't hurt anyone (maybe not even your relationship!) but it's your thing, and you don't know how your partner is going to react and its not necessarily hurting you Or Them to keep it to yourself.

my thoughts on the whole thing are closer to if you're in a position where you want to share that aspect of yourself, and you're comfortable, go for it! I'm not going to say anyone should be ashamed of themselves. But its also okay to not be there yet. 

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On 3/22/2021 at 6:51 AM, DesertTortoise said:

Ladies and Gentlemen, I’ve noticed that many of you seem to be slightly embarrassed by your fetish. I see posts asking for advice on how to break the news to their significant other. I see posts talking about how embarrassing it would be if you ever got caught. I’ve seen posts from married people talking about hiding from their spouses.

I used to do this. I was embarrassed about what I like. I was afraid that someone would walk in on me wetting, or my pissy pants would be seen in the laundry. I had to date a woman for months before I’d bring it up.

One day I just kinda said Fuck It. I’m pretty open about it now. Most people don’t care. It occasionally gets brought up as a joke, but I’m not subjected to ridicule or anything. The real magic of being open with it lies with how word spreads. If you’re open, you might meet someone who’s into this as well. I’ve met the love of my life partially because I don’t hide what I am anymore. Even before her, you’d be stunned at how many people are ok with a little piss play if you just bring it up like any other fetish.

Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you 

Just wanted to point out the last line is a quote from Tyrion Lannister.  Definitely applies here.  I admire your confidence.  I'm certainly not up to that level partially because of the way that they may react, but more so just that it's a private thing.  Even if we were talking about another fetish I'm into that is more "mainstream" like facesitting, I realize that is pretty common and if I mentioned it, I'm sure there would be many people who would be into it, but even this is not for the general public.  I don't need to tell random strangers what I'm into (says the guy who is telling random strangers on a website what he's into).  But there are more times than not where I don't need to bring up my kinks and it would be inappropriate to do so.  It's not so much the specific kink as it is the fact that I don't need to reveal that I have any kinks to them.  If I'm going to be intimate with you, I might tell you, beyond that, it won't likely come up in conversation.

The few times it has come up in conversation, most of the time, I just nervously chuckled and don't say anything about me being into it.

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