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Anyone ever wants to quit the fetish?


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I've always had a very oversexual personality although I at the same time am quite chastic, I suppose my pee fetish (watching others wet themselves or at worst me drinking it) was formed as most in early childhood when I played pee games with a distant niece, but I always struggle to keep it under control. I've done nofap for a month or two which was very frustrating because it opened me up to overfantasizing at times (only way i can put it) and have thrown away all videomaps from my laptop over 40 times now i think, only to slowly at some point make new ones again. The problem isn't access, the problem is my mind that just once in a blue moon starts loading the hormones that emediately connect, through the fetish pathways to get me all riled up. I tend to call that process "tilting" because its the same as when you get angry at a game and continue to play to lose that frustration hoping for some dopamine.

I've learned that working out helps, but only partially, I suppose its just withdrawal, like when you quit smoking.. however its a bodily thing and the examples of consequence after total abstinence are legion in the 'monk profession'. Its not good for the body nor the mind.. but we always have to be careful not to lose control (yeah i know, ironic for our fetishism based on just that..) and let sexuality decide or define our behavior.. So that's my dilemma. Sure I enjoy the fetish, but its also a curse. Sometimes i wish i never had it and would see someone peeing as someone peeing instead of something sexually arousing.

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I can fully get where you are coming from on this. I enjoy the fetish but sometimes I enjoy it too much to the point where I can hardly think about anything else, sometimes for a week or more at a time, which I call a fetish binge.


The problem has also been compounded lately about the fact that I have a job where I now have to hold it all day. I hate the fact that I don't get to go to the bathroom but at the same time the situation is so exciting and arousing, so it provokes conflicting feelings, and ever since I have had this job on a long-term basis I find myself constantly thinking about bathroom related matters even more than ever before. I think that when you have a fetish like this it's impossible not to think about the fact that, oh my God I'm going end up having to hold it on a regular basis.


So I don't think that there's anything wrong with the fetish but sometimes I wish it wasn't so intense and all-consuming and that I could just ignore it as though it were something normal, but for me it will never be, even in a situation where I would rather not be desperate the fact that I am desperate I will still find arousing and it will be hard for me to get my mind on anything else when I am in such a situation.

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I used to. When I was younger and realized the good part of having a shy bladder and getting desperate all the time was that the release would always feel incredible, I started sometimes holding as long as I could deliberately so that I could enjoy the feeling of letting it go more. It didn't register that the enjoyment I was getting was sexual for a while. When I finally did realize that, I felt horridly confused and ashamed. I was fetishizing a medical condition of mine that had consistently brought me hours upon hours of pain and misery throughout my life. What was wrong with me? The only answer I could come up with was that maybe my brain was trying very, very hard to make the best of a bad situation I was stuck with. Like some sort of defense mechanism or something. 

But, I was very ashamed of it. I felt like I was sick. Eventually I realized that I was ultimately hurting no one. This was just a very weird thing I enjoyed, it was strange and silly, but it didn't harm anyone. Reminding myself of that made some of the shame go away, but I still kind of felt it. But, now that I've got a partner to indulge in this thing with, the shame is pretty much all gone. I see now that I can have a perfectly wonderful and healthy relationship that includes this kind of kink-play, so I don't feel that stress and shame anymore. 

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Not the fetish specifically, but there were times (mostly in my twenties) when I disliked my strong libido. It has waned a little bit - I'm in my forties now - but it's still probably above average in my age group. I watch too much porn and I masturbate almost daily (unless I have sex of course 😉). I've learned to accept it as a part of me. Also I'm lucky that my wife also has a rather strong sexual desire and is very open-minded. Unfortunately I do have issues with sexual and emotional fidelity sometimes (which almost killed my marriage), but that's a different story. Would love to try polyamory but my wife doesn't agree. I have finally decided to settle for her, she's just too good of a partner and human being.

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You’re certainly not alone in this. I think this is the true definition of guilty pleasure.

I often find ‘fetish binges’ coincide with low points in mental health. It’s like in times when nothing else can bring joy, this fetish just runs rampant in me. I find it confusing whether to blame the same/guilt/discust etc I feel because of the fetish for feeling low, or whether to blame the chemical imbalance making feel low for also making my interest in sexual things higher. Drives me mad.

The thing is though, if someone offered me an ‘anti fetish’ pill tomorrow I’m almost certain I’d turn it down. Would you?

Edited by Charlie Kirby (see edit history)
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Honestly? No. I can understand what you're saying, but to me, this fetish is one of the only consistent, constantly enjoyable things in my life. I have an irritating personality and don't feel satisfied very often. Even before I knew this was sexual I got a lot of excitement and relief out of thinking of desperation, needing to pee, having my weird dreams where I'd go in the shower drain, etc. And once it became sexual and I started incorporating it into my fanfiction and masturbation I discovered how cathartic it can be. When I still had contact with my best friend I felt extreme relief when we'd have phone sex and she'd partake in the kink with me, or let me write for her without judgment. I can remember once a really long time ago she texted me while on a road trip to say she was having to hold it for a long time since she was with her family and it just meant so, so much to me for her to send me that unprompted. I've never felt more loved or accepted than when I would indulge myself in my kink with her in various ways. 

That having been said, as I said I do get where you're coming from; I was always more sexual than my friend and we went through periods of time where we'd have disagreements about how much or how little sex we should be having. So when that would happen I would feel embarrassed for being way more sexual and having such a fixation on phone sex with her or us having sex irl when we met up. And I was a little embarrassed because I can only get off thinking/talking about omo. So I struggled a little bit with feeling like I was forcing it on her. But she has some obscure kinks herself and I always indulged her in them even though they don't do anything for me; in a way I got off seeing/hearing her get off. So the embarrassment/shame was always more in my head and pretty short-lived. But it was never really to a degree where I didn't want the fetish so much as I wondered why I couldn't also have more "normal" kinks. But it is what it is and I haven't thought like that in a long time now. I love omo and have no desire to not have it in my life. 

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3 hours ago, Charlie Kirby said:

You’re certainly not alone in this. I think this is the true definition of guilty pleasure.

I often find ‘fetish binges’ coincide with low points in mental health. It’s like in times when nothing else can bring joy, this fetish just runs rampant in me. I find it confusing whether to blame the same/guilt/discust etc I feel because of the fetish for feeling low, or whether to blame the chemical imbalance making feel low for also making my interest in sexual things higher. Drives me mad.

The thing is though, if someone offered me an ‘anti fetish’ pill tomorrow I’m almost certain I’d turn it down. Would you?

I rarely come across posts and find myself agreeing with them so much.

For the past few years, I have been struggling with strong depressions and I already noticed that, despite my medication, there are times when I just feel down and nothing helps. During these times it's not uncommon for me to constantly think about omorashi and jerk off several times per day, directly before going to sleep as well as directly after waking up plus three, four or sometimes even more times in between.

I used to feel quite alone in terms of my sexual preferences, growing up in a very rural area as gay and with a pee fetish, let's just say I used to think I'm the only human being on earth who likes these things. Obviously that's not true though (luckily), and I have accepted the fetish as a part of my person. I am able to enjoy omo much more consciously as a consequence, and the (futile) wishes to stop having an omo fetish turned into wishes that more people would be into omo 😛 😄 I'm actually rather glad to see beyond the - let's face it - mundane task of urinating and being able to squeeze this much enjoyment out of it. It's a super power in some regards, why would I want to give it up!? 😉

 

Long story short: I can see why someone might feel guilt and shame for liking what they like, especially if it is frowned upon by society as a whole ("Urine is gross and liking gross things is unnormal, right?"). Though I have to say, because I think of one's kinks and fetishes, and one's sexuality as a whole, as given and unchangeable... accepting, embracing and enjoying it with like-minded folk might be the easier and mentally healthier way to deal with these feelings 🙂

Edited by younggermangay (see edit history)
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14 hours ago, JensH2 said:

Not the fetish specifically, but there were times (mostly in my twenties) when I disliked my strong libido. It has waned a little bit - I'm in my forties now - but it's still probably above average in my age group. I watch too much porn and I masturbate almost daily (unless I have sex of course 😉). I've learned to accept it as a part of me. Also I'm lucky that my wife also has a rather strong sexual desire and is very open-minded. Unfortunately I do have issues with sexual and emotional fidelity sometimes (which almost killed my marriage), but that's a different story. Would love to try polyamory but my wife doesn't agree. I have finally decided to settle for her, she's just too good of a partner and human being.

Yeah I also kindof hope that now im going into 40s my libido will lessen a bit, Its been a hell of a ride at times but lately I do sense I got those "hazy moments of arousal" under some control.

12 hours ago, Charlie Kirby said:

You’re certainly not alone in this. I think this is the true definition of guilty pleasure.

I often find ‘fetish binges’ coincide with low points in mental health. It’s like in times when nothing else can bring joy, this fetish just runs rampant in me. I find it confusing whether to blame the same/guilt/discust etc I feel because of the fetish for feeling low, or whether to blame the chemical imbalance making feel low for also making my interest in sexual things higher. Drives me mad.

The thing is though, if someone offered me an ‘anti fetish’ pill tomorrow I’m almost certain I’d turn it down. Would you?

I also noticed that when i am stressed and in need of dopamine the urges get way stronger, that's why i called it tilting. As for the anti-fetish pill.. well I've tried a 2month nofap and at the end of it I noticed how not only life was way more bland itself (contrary to all the success stories on the net) I felt like i was often missing a drive to be around people. It's still a big part of our motivation, I mean.. physicality = sexuality, literally. When one represses their sexuality whole they repress physicality. So no i wouldn't take an anti fetish pill, the first thing that came back to me after 2 months nofap was that seeing pee drips on a toilet became irresistible. ;( Perhaps I'm attracted to rarity or something.. Been introspecting for years about this as I'm sure most of you have.. and i never take "everyone just has a kink' for an answer. And If I ever met anyone that shared my fetish (one of the 3 girls i was with did 'try' to pee for me but couldn't sadly) I wouldn't feel as if i lost shame. Its not a shame/normal thing for me, just a matter of volume. I can live with my fetish but as some of you also said.. the libido is just to strong when i come across it. Like it goes from 0 to 100 with no time to fight the urge. Just gotta watch or taste it ;l

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@Charlie Kirby

"I often find ‘fetish binges’ coincide with low points in mental health. It’s like in times when nothing else can bring joy, this fetish just runs rampant in me. I find it confusing whether to blame the same/guilt/discust etc I feel because of the fetish for feeling low, or whether to blame the chemical imbalance making feel low for also making my interest in sexual things higher. Drives me mad."

I definitely find that is true because I have poor mental health in general and I am depressed most of the time, but I realize that my fetish binges do tend to get really bad when I am in a low point in mental health. Usually I find that when my sexual interests become all obsessing and all-consuming also my ideological hatreds tend to go up, my general anger and frustration go up, my feelings of worthlessness and self-hatred go up, and just all of my negative stuff tends to come at once.
And it can become like a truly all-consuming obsession where for like 7 to 10 days at a time is typically how long they last. Like usually every couple of weeks every couple of months I go on these binges where I literally can barely concentrate on anything else at all. I can't focus on any writing that doesn't have a fetish theme do it, I spend all night chatting about my fetish or posting about it or writing about it almost to the exclusion of everything else and I find it hard to sleep or concentrate on anything else.

And I think a big part of it is the fact that I have no real outlet for it really because I'm a 37-year-old virgin who has never been in a sexual relationship and has poor social skills, so I literally have no other sexual outlet to really release all of this pent-up frustration. I have literally nobody to share it with except for people on the Internet so it becomes pretty much all-consuming to the point where I don't do anything else. Whenever I hear someone else say that they are sexually frustrated because they haven't been in a relationship for a couple of weeks or months I almost want to smack them and say, you don't know what frustration is unless you have gone your whole life without having any single sexual experience with another human being directly.


The fact that I now have a job where I have to hold it all the time definitely is compounding the problem because when I am at work on a workday practically all I am going to think about is my need to piss all day and I probably won't get much else done. I think that I have been going on more fetish binges as a result of that. The situation is really frustrating and everything like that but I also can't deny that it's made me horny like nothing else in my life before it, which makes it even more awkward because you don't really want to be in a state of sexual frustration and agitation when you are out in public among other people and have to interact with them, so that has definitely accelerated the problem to a very large degree.


So I don't think that the fetish is necessarily wrong morally or anything like that but sometimes the disproportionate all-consuming obsession with it is definitely not healthy. I've often said that when I die and people read my journals they're going to say that she was an interesting and eccentric person but good God how could any one woman be so fixated on having to pee and everything related to bathrooms!

"The thing is though, if someone offered me an ‘anti fetish’ pill tomorrow I’m almost certain I’d turn it down. Would you?"

I would never take any type of pill or medication for this, no. In fact am very opposed to psychiatric drugs in general as I have had nothing but negative experiences with them. I don't drink, I don't do drugs and I steer clear of all of that stuff because I have an extremely addictive neurotic personality in general, so I feel that that would probably just make the problem worse.

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Many years ago when I was a teenager and starting to explore this fetish I did have periods where I was ashamed. Before I discovered omo content on the internet, I was wetting myself and jerking off to fantasies of girls I knew from school being desperate and wetting themselves. As I am sure many here can relate, I thought I was a weirdo and the only person out of billions who could be turned on by such things.

Of course, I soon realized that was not the case and so that lessened the shame. Though I was still feel guilty after cumming, but I now know that is a normal feeling during the refractory period and that people experience that even when jerking off to vanilla porn.

Reading some of these responses, I guess I am lucky that for me omo is a kink rather than a fetish. I can still get off from regular sex or from jerking off to regular porn (something that I do rarely). Omo content just gets me their much faster.

My wife has come to realize this when giving me handjobs. She will sometimes tell me stories about when she was last desperate and that will speed things up. Just this weekend we had spent the afternoon enjoying the nice weather and I was drinking tea and ended up getting pretty desperate. When we returned home I headed straight for the bathroom and started peeing a lot! I hadn't had time to close the door and my wife had commented about how much pee I had been holding. Later that night while giving me a handjob she, unprompted, started talking about how desperate I must have been earlier and asked why I didn't pee in my thermos in the car if it was that bad. Just her talking about my desperation and suggesting such a thing made me cum very quickly.

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I've found that most people who want to "get rid of" their omorashi fetish feel this way because they view it negatively due to beliefs from society or family/friends/etc pushing them into believing it's "not normal"/"not acceptable". There's really nothing wrong with it though, and the solution isn't to get rid of it but to learn to open up and accept yourself for who you are, and to take time to get more comfortable with what you like. 

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12 hours ago, AquaVitae said:

First it's not possible. For better or worse, this is a part of me forever.

That is the point. I have no choice either, so there is no room for a discussion for me.

 

14 hours ago, DesperateJill said:

I don't think that the fetish is necessarily wrong morally or anything like that but sometimes the disproportionate all-consuming obsession with it is definitely not healthy.

I fully agree. I have experienced those obsessive periods too throughout my life. They are powerful and unpredictable.

 

On 3/22/2021 at 9:41 PM, surrealexp said:

I'd say the biggest downside of this fetish is just that it's so niche compared to others. It's very difficult to find partners that will even try desperation/accidents, let alone getting pleasure from it themselves.

Very true. In my case, the fetish does not match the rest of my personality at all (I think). My partnerships were always based on "showable" qualities, and I was never lucky to find a girl who considered to live with me and simultaneously turned out to be one of us. I learned to pluck up all my courage and address a girl directly (but not vulgarly) on our topic when a - rare - situation arose that made me suspect she might be into it (obviously holding it in for no visible reason as toilets were easily available, or even wetting herself or leaking). While the reaction in those few cases was never negative (in a sense confirming what I had hoped to be true), it would always be just this incident that made us feel close to each other on that occasion out of the blue, but without any further base for a serious follow-up. I am 100% heterosexual and really love women, but I am sorry to say that this fetish damaged a big part of my sexual gratification. It is frustrating to love a woman without being understood in your ultimate sexual trigger.

Edited by farseladosso (see edit history)
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8 hours ago, farseladosso said:

really love women, but I am sorry to say that this fetish damaged a big part of my sexual gratification. It is frustrating to love a woman without being understood in your ultimate sexual trigger.

I feel you. I felt this way for a long time with my current partner and it was an awful black cloud in our otherwise really strong relationship. Thankfully openness and honesty prevailed, and we are able to find happy mediums at the moment.

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On 3/23/2021 at 5:42 PM, FallingDusk said:

I've found that most people who want to "get rid of" their omorashi fetish feel this way because they view it negatively due to beliefs from society or family/friends/etc pushing them into believing it's "not normal"/"not acceptable". There's really nothing wrong with it though, and the solution isn't to get rid of it but to learn to open up and accept yourself for who you are, and to take time to get more comfortable with what you like. 

Don't really agree with this one, always sounds like an excuse to blame it on not being accepted, no offence ofcourse. I personally have always been able to tell people, friends, family' and they always said nothing bad of it. ..but even if you couldn't that shouldn't have any sway. I just don't like being controlled by any need or addiction, heck I don't smoke, drink alcohol or even take coffee, lol.

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37 minutes ago, PPjustwatching said:

I personally have always been able to tell people, friends, family' and they always said nothing bad of it. ..but even if you couldn't that shouldn't have any sway.

Tricky one. I totally see where you’re coming from, but in my opinion that’s a confidence/self image thing. Some people (myself included) feel societal and social pressures a lot more. Truth is, our fetish is a taboo, doesn’t matter how individual friends and family see it, society in general has shut it out. You probably already know right, but England, for example - pee fetish material is outlawed as indecent.

If by your nature you have low self belief, it is hard to overcome that perceived negativity, even if the perception itself is incorrectly biased.

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If you'd have asked me a few years ago, my answer would have probably been yes without a second thought. But, I've changed my mind lately... Despite all the feelings of shame and anxiety it may have brought me in the past, it has still also brought me so much pleasure as well. Like, it's part of my sexuality! What good does it do for me worrying about other people's opinions?  I've never even gotten a negative reaction out of the few people I have told about it! Not much to do about it except embrace it. Especially after joining this site and realising that I really am not alone with this, have I truly started to accept this as a part of me. So, if you ask me now whether I want to quit the fetish (even if it was possible), my answer now would be no.

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 Give up Omorashi ? Nope, absolutely not. That will never happen as long as I draw breath. It is one thing that gives me pleasure, both sexually and in general.  I have enjoyed it since I began exploring my sexuality when puberty arrived, and continues today just two months shy of my 69th birthday. I have had regular sex with women, but even then it was always on my mind. With my ex-wife it enhanced our sex or replaced it if she was not in the mood. 

Since I have been single masterbating to pee stories or videos is 100% of my sexual pleasure. My only regret is I have done it so long having regular sex may not be possible. So, I continue to enjoy it. Not nearly as frequently as I used to , but at least once a week .

Only two people other than myself are aware of my fetish  IRL . It is not something I broadcast, but I am not ashamed of it either. It is part of who i am . But then again who does talk about their sex life, and particularly any fetish they have with someone they are not intimate with.

Even if the day comes when I can no longer perform, I will still get psychological pleasure from Omorashi. I still get a tingly excitement even if not aroused . Give it up ? No . Why would I do that ?

I mean no disrespect to those that want or need to stop , it is just not me.

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Sometimes yes, but I suffer from depression and have extremely low self-esteem, so I tend to think there's something wrong with most things I like. I've been feeling very low for a super long time because of the pandemic, and I'm finding myself COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

I think most people think a fetish like this is gross, so I'm too embarrassed to reveal that I'm into it.

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This... I have wanted to do this for the longest time. Obviously, I couldn't. Desperation is the biggest fetish I have, my biggest source of arousal. As an asexual I didn't like what it did to me. This is my main reason why I made an account on this site. And yes, I feel you with the overindulging part. Every time I tried to quit it would just come back a few weeks later, and it seemed stronger than when I left it. It was as if the fetish was trying to make up for lost time, seeming irresistable.

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On 3/24/2021 at 8:19 AM, Charlie Kirby said:

I feel you. I felt this way for a long time with my current partner and it was an awful black cloud in our otherwise really strong relationship. Thankfully openness and honesty prevailed, and we are able to find happy mediums at the moment.

My partner isn't into anything kinky as far as I can tell. However, it would not be reasonable to choose a partner just on the #OMO issue - so I think it is best to try to think of ways to cope.

When I give her oral sex, I find that sometimes she will smell and taste of pee down there. I find that an unbelievable turn-on, and it obviously relates to OMO quite a bit.

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On 3/22/2021 at 8:50 AM, PPjustwatching said:

I've always had a very oversexual personality although I at the same time am quite chastic, I suppose my pee fetish (watching others wet themselves or at worst me drinking it) was formed as most in early childhood when I played pee games with a distant niece, but I always struggle to keep it under control. I've done nofap for a month or two which was very frustrating because it opened me up to overfantasizing at times (only way i can put it) and have thrown away all videomaps from my laptop over 40 times now i think, only to slowly at some point make new ones again. The problem isn't access, the problem is my mind that just once in a blue moon starts loading the hormones that emediately connect, through the fetish pathways to get me all riled up. I tend to call that process "tilting" because its the same as when you get angry at a game and continue to play to lose that frustration hoping for some dopamine.

I've learned that working out helps, but only partially, I suppose its just withdrawal, like when you quit smoking.. however its a bodily thing and the examples of consequence after total abstinence are legion in the 'monk profession'. Its not good for the body nor the mind.. but we always have to be careful not to lose control (yeah i know, ironic for our fetishism based on just that..) and let sexuality decide or define our behavior.. So that's my dilemma. Sure I enjoy the fetish, but its also a curse. Sometimes i wish i never had it and would see someone peeing as someone peeing instead of something sexually arousing.

I don't want to sound like a psychiatrist (because I am a software developer!) but to me, it sounds as though you haven't really come to terms with being sexual and enjoying OMO. OMO is harmless in any normal scenario (but I suppose if you got enough people to pee in a pool you could drown in it) - so just do it! I suspect that whatever aspect of OMO excites you most, will also be the thing you hate most. So I'd guess from what you say, drinking pee if the 'worst' and the best for you - so do it!  Since the kidney's extract pee as waste material, it might not be good to recycle most or all of it by drinking it, you could still drink a wine glass of the stuff, but it might make you a bit nauseous - so that would be the time to stop.

Heck, everyone is controlled to some extent by their sexuality - that is how couples form and babies start! My big message would be to take a deep breath and lighten up a bit (actually a lot) - it isn't as if you are doing anything to be ashamed of - which is not the same thing as the intense embarrassment you would feel if someone else found your videos (assuming they don't involve anything underage, of course). I wrote a program to encrypt the embarrassing stuff on my computer.

Actually I suspect the best way to loose the urge to play OMO, would be to do it to excess - but why spoil it?

Going nofap for a month or two sounds dreadful to me, and I'm 71!

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