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Remaining "Professional" at Work When Your Bladder Is Ready to Explode


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This topic is sort of an offshoot from my other thread about worst jobs for women needing to pee where one of the things that repeatedly comes up about women at jobs where they have to hold it all day is how we are expected not just to hold it in all day, sometimes while our male coworkers are able to relieve themselves, but on top of everything we are supposed to remain "professional" about it, pleasant, polite, uncomplaining and helpful. This is something that I think has sort of been indoctrinated into most women, not just in regards to work, but as regards to most things. It's a situation where women's needs, such as the need to urinate, are considered to be secondary and if cannot be met immediately that we are supposed to be stoic and just sort of endure it while still at the same time not complaining about it, being good, being nice and overall pleasant to all regardless of what is going on with us. Men telling women to "smile" is another example.


The thing that I have heard again and again from other women in this situation since I have started my job outdoors where I don't have bathroom access most of the time, is how we are all supposed to always be professional about it and how they maintained their professionalism despite the fact that their bladder is ready to explode. Before I had this job I was thinking that those women are crazy, I mean how can you continue to be cordial and polite and everything as you are standing there with a bladder that is on the brink of exploding?


And yet what happened when I found myself in such a situation like that? I found myself not mentioning the fact that I need to go to the bathroom, if a coworker needs me to come over I get up and try not to show the fact that I am struggling not to cross my legs, or I cross my legs discreetly but try not to be in your face about it. I talk to them politely in a calm manner and do my job because that's just what you have to do. And that's what I have kind of learned about it, being professional means doing what you have to do however uncomfortable or unpleasant the situation. And again I seem to think that this is more of an expectation for women than men, because men's needs are typically met, but women I think are taught to suppress natural urges, including the natural urge to urinate.


And this is what other women here that I have been chatting with have told me, from the bus driver who has to keep a straight face and stay in their seat while male passengers go and pee on the side of the road, to the waitress who has to pour drinks for her customers while not getting to relieve herself, to somebody out in the middle of nowhere having to help customers and give advice on tourism most likely sitting with her legs crossed the entire time and still being cordial and polite about it.


And for me the most insane thing that really tried my patience was that once I was talking to a male coworker, who knew that I didn't go to the bathroom outside and that I wouldn't, while I was standing there with my legs crossed very visibly desperate, he once interrupted our conversation to go relieve himself, then came back and continued the conversation like nothing happened, and I just had to stand there keeping a straight face and nodding while the whole time I was screaming on the inside, and yet I was outwardly polite.


And then last night I was chatting about this and somebody found the idea of me being professional rather amusing. Sort of a funny thought to think Jill is at work right now with six hours of pee in her bladder and she's standing there chatting with her coworkers and keeping a straight face pretending it is ok and trying not to let it bother her. You are thinking "If only they knew what she was really thinking!" I think a lot of people are enjoying my situation on that level in particular, lots of those I even teased previously.


The thing that really puts this into perspective is that before I had this job I had this friend who is a nurse, which I posted about in another thread. She was at a job where she often couldn't pee for most of the day because nurses are very busy and all of that, and I was thinking it's crazy how you are supposed to continue to be professional and just try to ignore the need to urinate even when your bladder is exploding, and yet she somehow managed to do that and I was kind of teasing her for it.


She actually says that to me as well, remaining "professional" Jill she sometimes says with the quotes and all. The idea of someone like me having to remain professional in a situation like that amuses her after all the teasing and ribbing that I gave to her before. She said she wishes she lived closer so she could see me at work. She says until I have changed a person's catheter bag when I haven't peed in eight hours I haven't truly learned what it means to really be "professional" in the same way she did, minimizing my current struggle.


But then this sort of brought up something else about a picture of me that I think puts this all into perspective. I almost wish that I could share this picture that somebody took of me at work but it would compromise my remaining anonymous in fetish land. Trust me you'd be cracking up big time. It was actually a picture from me in the summer part of the job with my coworkers taken at the end of the day, like after 6 1/2 hours of no toilet right before we were leaving.


I showed it to my nurse friend and she totally cracked up when she saw it. It shows me with my five male coworkers where we are all standing there like sort of smiling and giving a thumbs-up but in the picture, I honestly didn't notice that until I saw the picture afterwards, you can see that my legs are crossed and from the stare on my face she said it looked like I was practically mouthing the words fuck LOL. Basically you can see that I had that stare of come on already let's leave!


So she set that picture as her computer wallpaper and said it always makes her smile. Maybe I should see if Beloved wants to draw a version of that picture. I'll admit it was a kodak moment! She calls the picture Jill being "Professional" at work, also joked, pun intended, I look "pissed!" If I didn't wish to remain anonymous that would be like an excellent cover for my book, one of the few pics of myself visibly desperate. A  family member asked why I looked annoyed in that pic. "Um no reason" was all I answered.


So my question to other women here who are at work all day without a bathroom is how do you interact with your coworkers or customers or whatever and still remain "professional" without screaming your head off about how you are about to piss yourself?! What's your coping strategy, because I could really use some advice. I have done good so far but it's weighing on me mentally, not gonna lie about that!

 

 

 

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They really need to improve workplaces like those. I don't even fantasize about situations like this (and I've had some fantasies involving major humiliation before, including bondage-induced wettings). And if they make it so men can use the bathroom when they need to but women can't... that's sexist and unfair and probably put in place for fetish reasons (whatever their pretexts), and an egregious abuse of fetish on account of being non-consensual. It's like they think their workers - or at least their female workers in the cases where men can get their relief - aren't even human.

And they expect you to not only hold it for way too long (possibly resulting in reaching bursting point multiple days in a row leading to bladder damage) but hide it too? I mean, yes, it looks more attractive (to people without the fetish), but that can be achieved if there is no desperation to speak of.

If one day wettings reach a point where people don't bat an eye at it and anyone can shrug it off or even laugh it off without the slightest embarrassment, it'd be different (like, "I really have to pee, but if I don't make it, it's no big deal - if it happens, it happens, nothing to be ashamed of"), but now, as long as wetting is considered "taboo" and humiliating...

UNLESS they warned you of this on the contract and you willingly signed up for it?

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@TheDarkWolf

I will admit as much as my current situation gets on my nerves the fact that I now have female coworkers who also have to hold it almost makes it, almost, emphasis on the word almost, makes it worth it. So I guess I can't be a hypocrite if I fully admit that if it weren't me stuck holding that I probably would enjoy seeing someone else in this situation, which is why I can't get mad at other people enjoying my situation.


It's interesting that so far the three people who liked this post were all guys who probably find the idea of a woman trying to remain professional at work while her bladder is exploding amusing and exciting. And I know from reading the posts here that lots of guys find it really attractive when a woman tries to hide or suppress her desperation, and again I totally get it because I kind of find that attractive as well, when I see it on other women, so you just kind of have to laugh about these things, but I did think that that was something interesting that I noticed. As much as I complain I do keep a fairly good sense of humor about these things because it's better to laugh than to scream. However I think it is a manifestation of male privilege when a man sort of enjoys a situation where a woman has to suppress her needs like that and finds it amusing. It's different when a woman enjoys it I suppose, seeing as she is still in the same boat technically.


Now that you brought up the contract I have to admit that until you brought that up I actually didn't read every single last word of it in full. When I took the job they basically went over every major detail of it with me point by point explaining it in detail, and then at the end of it I sort of asked if this is an outdoor job what do we do about the bathrooms? The woman that was interviewing me said that you bring your own toilet paper, implying that it was implied that you would go to the bathroom outside. But you also said don't worry most of these places have bathrooms and that you could use the bathrooms on the site.


But when I looked at the specific words in the contract it actually does specifically and explicitly say that while at work you're expected to say on the work premises where you are assigned for the day. As far as breaks are concerned we can pretty much break whenever we want if we want to go take a bathroom break or whatever. Our work day is actually very unscheduled, we have sort of like a certain amount of tasks that we are supposed to accomplish in a certain amount of time, with some jobs taking more than one day where we return to the same site multiple times. So again break time is pretty much whenever we want it, and there is a lot of downtime at this job, especially for me since I'm mostly just the secretary of the group. So in theory we could go stop at anytime we want to use a bathroom.


The problem is however when I signed this contract it was pre-Covid when there was sort of the assumption that all of these bathrooms would be open. But what the reality is that a lot of these bathrooms have been closed down since nobody is going to these public places during the pandemic, so again the timing has kind of screwed me on that. So yeah it says we can go to the bathrooms on site, it doesn't say anything specifically about what should we do if the bathrooms are locked.


It did however cover that if we choose to go to the bathroom outside that we should bring our own toilet paper and that we should dispose of things in an environmentally friendly way. Because again this is an environmental survey group, so very green so to speak. Even the bathrooms back at base the stall doors are made of wood rather than plastic. So yeah, they are very concerned with the environment.


So I suppose if you want to get really technical I guess I sort of did agree to these conditions perhaps without fully realizing the implications or how the conditions could change. I guess then some people might say that I have no right to complain then? I mean I'm still gonna but, yeah I am thinking that looking at the technical language of this now I think that I might have screwed myself over on this one or maybe that I was just naïve in assuming that all these places would have open bathrooms, because as a person who has been hardly any time outdoors prior to this I guess that I am not the outdoors type, so I was sort of unprepared for this. I'm sort of the suburban I always have a toilet girl before this, but I guess that's why it has been such an adjustment for me in particular.


I have always been a very domestic indoors type and I really never spent many times going to parks or walking in the woods or anything like that since I was a child prior to this job. So I guess I just sort of naturally assumed these places would always have bathrooms open, but it seems like even pre-Covid a lot of these places have poorly maintained bathrooms or that they locked them to the public. So now I am sort of learning the hard way I guess, rather than just in the abstract, how difficult it is to be a woman in a location where toilet access may be limited or nonexistent. Again I'm hoping that this will change as maybe Covid starts to go away, but it's another situation where it seems like I just have like the worst timing in the world.


I had occasionally read about women saying that they couldn't find a bathroom at a park or a baseball field or in the woods or something like that, but until I had this job I never gave it much thought, now that I have experienced it myself of being a woman on the lookout for a toilet and not finding one, I realize just how serious it is and how uncomfortable it can be.


And no there was nothing in the contract that specifically said anything sexist or anything like that and I really doubt the ones who wrote it have a fetish. I guess the assumption was that men and women would just use the bathrooms on site or that they would go outside if that wasn't an option, even though everybody knows that men are more likely to go to the bathroom outside than women. But again it sort of a very masculine environment, just outdoors in general, so I think that the assumption that they had was that any woman who took a job like this was probably used to going outdoors and stuff like that, which again I have to totally admit that I am like the opposite of that, pretty much always indoors.


It's actually kind of ironic in that I am probably getting out more now at my job and going out more into the actual environment tha I did pre-Covid, which again is the irony because now everybody's at home and they have toilets like I used to, which makes everything extra frustrating, and I supposed to the people who used to be in the opposite position probably find it extra-amusing, like all of the people who liked this post. Now I have to learn to be "professional" meaning put on a happy face. Like I could picture of a lot of guys following my journey were one of my actual coworkers they would probably be taking that photo with me with the thumbs up and be thinking come on Jill, smile, don't frown! All the while sort of secretly snickering on the inside knowing that my bladder is bursting.


When I said that women were expected to sort of the polite and cordial and everything like that I didn't mean in sort of a sense of the contract or anything like that. All it said is try to represent the group and its environmental principles and stuff like that. What I meant was that society in general sort of expects women to always be smiling and polite and accommodating to others, to put their needs second to others, specifically men. Again I realize that is sort of a sexist assumption of society, but I think it's deeply ingrained into women in general, not just in regards to the bathroom, I'm just talking about that because this is a forum about pee. A woman who complains or is angry or anything like that is likely to be called a bitch or unpleasant or uptight or something like that. Women in society in general are expected to just be smiling and polite and nice all the time regardless of what happens to be going on in their life, or in this case, our bladders.


When it comes to matters of bathroom related things such as my current situation I think that that is still the assumption.  I mean I know I definitely have to pee, I know my female coworkers have to pee, but aside from that one time when my coworker asked if we could leave early because she was desperately in need of a bathroom, for the most part we have been quiet and uncomplaining and sort of just taking it in stride and suffering in silence I guess you would say. But you can tell just from our demeanors towards the end of the day when it's almost time to get back to use the bathrooms that our male coworkers, who I presume are peeing throughout the day, not that I see them doing it necessarily, always seem like they are more lighthearted and carefree, whereby the end of the day I can say that all of the women on the crew are definitely looking a little bit more antsy. Again we don't say anything about it, but if you look at the men and you look at the women the women are definitely more reserved and the guys are definitely more boisterous I suppose you would say. And I think that it really does a lot has to do with it the fact that they are going to the bathroom throughout the day!


And my female coworker who complained about wanting to leave early only did so very in the beginning of the job probably not anticipating that she would have to go without a bathroom. Much like the first day I had the job back in the summer I ended up having to run out into the woods and spread my legs and sort of relieve myself outside because I was totally unexpected it. Once you have an experience like that you get very careful very fast. So I think that like me the other women on the crew learned from the first few days, okay we definitely have to mind our bladders carefully, and I haven't heard anyone else complain since. So I think that after that first day she firmly got the message, okay I guess that I will have to learn to hold it.


It's sort of like the thing I mentioned with my nurse friend. I used to tease her when she was at work and couldn't get to a bathroom and she would get grouchy and annoyed and I would find it sort of amusing, I know I know, karma, but it's true that if you can't go to the bathroom all day it tends to make you a little bit irritable and grouchy. So when she finally quit her job I couldn't help but notice that she always seemed like she was more cheerful, more loose and lighthearted and everything, and she was noticing and even made the comment, "well Jill you now sound like me back when I had my job" like I should lighten up, but when you really have to pee it's kind of hard to not be a little bit agitated by it. But again in spite of that I still smile politely, I am not rude with my male coworkers, even if I am jealous of them, and I do my job without much complaining. I complain a lot more in my blog and in my stories and on here, but that's a different matter altogether!


So yeah before I was in this situation I always thought I couldn't understand how women could be polite and cordial when they have to pee all day, and yet it is something just totally ingrained in society. When I found myself in that situation I still fell back on that be polite, don't complain, be nice be pleasant etc. and above all be "professional" about your interactions with others. Professional simply means to put your needs second and put others first.


I feel like now maybe I'm going off on one of my monologues again and branching off into another topic. But this is something that I think does apply to this topic in general. I think that women from a young age are taught to accept things even when it's unfair, and I think that the bathroom is something very much one of those things. Women are sort of conditioned to wait in line for the bathroom without complaint, to hold it in if no bathroom is available, and that in a lot of cases a woman's urinary needs are sort of an afterthought, especially at outdoor events. Women are expected to adapt to the environment they find themselves in, not try to adapt the environment to their needs.


This was definitely true in my family growing up where my family had no problem with the boys peeing outside since it was convenient and discreet but they would never allow me to do so, and thus I never learned to squat outdoors. Likewise they would have never tolerated me using the men's room if there was a long line at the ladies room. It was always you wait until there's a toilet available no matter how long that is. Meanwhile if we didn't have enough time to use the ladies room they would still stop and let the boys use the men's room. So again very strong double standards.  Maybe it's not true for everyone, but I know that I was definitely raised that way, and you don't overcome this societal programming easily, even a radical feminists like me. So while I might be a social justice bathroom warrior at heart, as far as my actual actions go I guess I am just as complacent as anyone, and sometimes that makes me feel bad about myself, but that's just the way I am I guess. Bathroom revolutionary Che Guevara in my mind, but in my actions crosslegged lady smiling politely.


And one final point it kind of makes me remember my high school experience where because they found drugs and alcohol in the girls bathroom they decided to punish the entire female student population for the actions of a few girls. So they locked all of the girls bathrooms except for one, leaving five stalls for hundreds of girls with four minutes between class, meaning that for the most part it was unreasonable for most women to be able to use the bathroom. I occasionally complained to my parents who said then you should probably drink less, not sort of getting the fact that it was unfair that we were all being punished, especially when all of the boys bathrooms with a good 30 toilets and urinals or so between all three of them remained open during all that time. Or my guy friends who just thought it was kind of funny because they weren't the ones who were locked out of their bathroom. And although I am sure that I couldn't be the only member of the female student body of hundreds of girls who wasn't really aggravated by the fact that there was no opportunity to use the bathroom most of the day, I never heard anyone make a formal complaint and I never made one myself. Again conditioning, it was a terrible situation for the girls at my school, and yet it seemed like as far as I can tell everybody accepted this no matter how unfair it was and it continued pretty much until the end of high school for about a year or two. And all the while, the boys bathrooms, open and free to use. Occasionally I would see other girls try to go to use the bathroom and then look annoyed when they found it was locked, but again they just sort of sucked it up and dealt with it, and I think that that's the attitude of society towards women who need to go to the bathroom in general.


I suspect a lot of those girls from high school have now learned to be "professional" in that regards as well. And I am sure a lot of guys from that high school never give it a second thought and find that a woman getting aggravated maybe because she hasn't peed all day means that she is crazy, having never themselves known what it's like to have to hold it in all day while the opposite sex gets to relieve themselves more easily.


So yes, this is kind of what I am getting at when it comes to being "professional" when your bladder is full.


End of rant.

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The school thing was mean and probably an excuse to try to cause some female wettings. It's really unfair and it sounds like you live in a misogynistic society.

I'd also not work at a place like that if they close the bathrooms even to the workers and expect you to hold it all day. They should put security protocols and hand sanitizer in place like they're doing where I live. Can't you explain the situation? Or would they not listen to what a woman has to say?

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@The Dark Wolf
I don't think that the people who closed the bathrooms had any type of fetish intention in mind, honestly. It was just one of those cases of school administrators deciding to punish everybody for the actions of a few, which is one of my other personal pet peeves. They figure that if the girls are doing drugs and alcohol and hiding drugs and alcohol in the girls bathroom instead of just punishing those girls they figure it's easier to close all of the bathrooms except for the one across from the nurse's office where they can watch what is going on.


But the book I was recently reading today (No Place To Go) brought up a similar point that one of the reasons why there is a large scale closing of public bathrooms in general is because that they often lead to lots of behavior like drug use and sexual liaisons and stuff like that, so the bathrooms are a place where people police the public morality.


In the case of my school situation it was figured that if we want to stop the girls from doing drugs and alcohol in the bathroom was simply close all the bathrooms, regardless of what that means for the majority of girls who need that bathroom and did nothing wrong.


Tthe thing that did have a sexist aspect to it though was the fact that they left all of the boys bathrooms open, which aside from having more stalls and urinals (like I said five stalls in the girls room and I think two or three stalls and then seven or eight urinals in the men's room according to my male friends) to begin with were now just providing the boys with a whole lot of places to go. Even before they shut the majority of the girls bathrooms there were often lines so that you would sometimes have to wait several periods before you got to go, but now they had a scant five stalls while the men had basically 30 places to urinate. There was a male bathroom open on every single floor with about 10 places to pee, and then there was the girls bathroom on the first floor with five places to pee, meaning that you could only use it if you happen to be going by the first floor and had time to spare and there wasn't a huge line.


To be fair though in the second year towards the end of the year they actually found drugs and alcohol in the boys bathroom as well and they started locking some of the boys bathrooms, but yeah for the most part for the last year or two of high school it was one girls bathroom for everyone, while the boys had three open bathrooms and about six times as many places to go as the girls. As a result of that I never heard of a situation where the boys weren't able to use the bathrooms between classes whenever they happened to need them, but I know that the vast majority of girls had to have been going most of the day simply not using the bathroom. I pretty much was reduced using it at lunch time when you can afford to wait 20 minutes in line for the bathroom since nobody takes attendance at lunch. But I do think that it was those experiences in high school where I was starting to realize the fetish and starting to have my awakening about the fact that something about this just wasn't fair! Then I learned about potty parity shortly after.


But yes it's true I do live in a misogynistic society, it's called human civilization, ruled by patriarchal institutions from the beginning of time up until now and continuing, and while occasional improvements are made, the backlash always ensures its two steps forward one step back, or in a lot of cases one step forward two steps back.
As far as my work situation goes though I can honestly see sort of the point that it's not always practical to have a bathroom available. I do think that a lot of it just comes down to Covid, I am really hoping that once this goes away they will start opening the park bathrooms again. But it was true that even before Covid that a lot of these places where being closed down. I mean essentially we can take a break at any time to use the bathroom, but when the bathroom itself isn't open what can you really do about it? I mean that's just a situation with public bathrooms in general right now, when you rely on public bathrooms you have to basically take what you can get. But the fact that one of the times when I went to work recently the bathrooms were open give me a sign of hope that maybe things are starting to change and hopefully there will be better luck in the future.


In the meantime I guess I am just sort of learning to suck it up and deal with it just like millions of women before me. In some ways I almost feel like I am doing penance for having enjoyed others in the situation in the past or to have trivialized the situation, and now have to deal with the full practical implications of it outside of just sort of a fetish interest. Now I am learning the practical side of things, and as I have said numerous times it is quite humbling, but still no less frustrating!

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I used to work in retail and I found that one of the most difficult parts of the job was trying to remain professional and polite when absolutely desperate to pee. I'd be sat there smiling and nodding, or laughing politely at their jokes, trying to keep my composure while all I could really think about was how much longer I'd have to sit there with an extremely full bladder before I could finally get to a toilet. There was one occasion near the end of my shift where a customer noticed that I was distracted and I actually ended up admitting my predicament to her, which of course was highly unprofessional but thankfully she was very sympathetic. Even though it was a difficult, badly paid and bladder-straining job I look back on those days with some fondness as I was lucky enough to see my co-workers caught out in desperate situations which was always secretly enjoyable for me. I have to admit, it was always a huge turn-on when a female colleague admitted to me that she was bursting for a wee and then had to try and hide her predicament from customers and keep a straight face.

I know that teachers often find themselves in this situation too, and it must be extremely difficult to keep control of a class of 30+ noisy teenagers when you haven't peed since first thing that morning. When I think back to my school days I can recall a few situations where teachers ended up rather desperate for a pee and let their professionalism slip as their focus and attention became solely on holding their bladder until the next opportunity for a loo break. I remember a 2-hour long double English lesson one morning where our very attractive, red-haired teacher gradually became more and more distracted and fidgety before admitting that she needed a wee, and by the time it was finally break time she was standing at the classroom door jiggling from foot to foot, ushering us all out of the room as quickly as possible so she could go to the toilet! I also remember being in the music office at the end of lunchtime and seeing one of the music teachers, a very attractive young woman with dark curly hair, hopping up and down trying to put some sheet music back into a holder while singing 'need a weeeeee, need a weeeee'. She then asked a teaching assistant to watch her class for her and literally ran out of the building in search of the closest loo (there were no toilets at all in the entire music department).   

I have to say, the whole 'desperately needing to pee at work while trying to stay professional' thing is one of the hottest desperation scenarios, in my opinion! Although I feel sympathetic towards those who find themselves in that situation, having been there myself so many times, I can't help but enjoy it to some degree.

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It seems that in Italy there is no "misogynistic" society, in fact if some girl need to go to the bathroom, but the girl's room is locked, they can simply use male ones, and next to none males are concerned about that, at least 10% of the italian aren't, in fact where I work, there's unisex's rooms, and turns out, this isn't a rare exception. BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT NOBODY CLEAN THOSE TOILETS, IT'S SO DIRTY THAT I REFUSE TO USE THOSE TOILETS, (it was the same at schools, but the male's room were dirtier, and they didn't care about)

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With long meetings back to back I have experienced this a lot. Not having time to go the loo before the next meeting but able to refill the water bottle on the way and getting more desperate and having to stay professional

 

when myself and a female colleague went on a trip abroad we took turns to ask for a break so neither looked like they had a small bladder. She drank a lot of coffee first thing while I drink lots of water throughout the day so in the morning she’d be separate and me in afternoon but we tried to look out for one another but some workshops did last a long time and we had to stay fully professional representing our company abroad 

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I had an issue at school after they removed the dividers from the urinals and the stalls from the toilets, so there was zero privacy whatsoever. They said it was to stop kids from smoking, but I don't understand how it helped anything. It was like the sort of thing you'd see in a prison. The lack of privacy would make me so anxious that I wouldn't be able to relax and pee at all, no matter my level of desperation. Some days it would get so bad that I'd have pain up and down my back, just beneath my ribcage, and I still wouldn't be able to go no matter how long I stood there trying. I would be unable to concentrate on anything because of how uncomfortable I got, and once I got home I'd always pee for at least a minute since I'd just held it for around eleven hours. I think my grades ended up suffering as a result, because I couldn't focus on tests, or assignments, and it was hard to speak normally when prompted or put any of my thoughts into words. Having to pretend to be fine when I was in so much pain was a challenge, and trying to control myself to keep from squirming was awful. It was humiliating to be fidgeting around and obviously desperate, yet unable to get any relief even when I was stood at a toilet. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

@DesperateJill At the risk of being a broken record about it, I wonder what part of "it's either the bathroom or a 10-hour hold, there are just no options whatsoever" is socialization. Here and elsewhere I hear women talking about 'popping a squat,' making use of a tree or some such thing (often with a friend or two being a lookout for safety/privacy reasons, naturally.) It's not something all women see as law!

While it's true that a woman's body makes that more difficult and time consuming than the male version, there's a big gap between that and "the squat thing others talk of is this TOTAL non-option that you will die for even considering and so there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EVER to be done about it because a woman must ALWAYS AND FOREVER be above that no matter WHAT suffering it brings." Are you sure that that law you seem to see as being so ironclad will actually be enforced by anyone other than the lingering voice of whoever taught you as a child that it's better to die than to fail to fit some impossibly perfect idea of "ladylike" that includes "good girls don't go to the bathroom, only gross boys, or at least the illusion must be maintained?" Because if you want misogyny, the slavery-to-"ladylikeness" rule is very misogynistic, even if other women have sadly been taken in and are enforcing it. Even if it sounds like it's about women being refined and men being crass, there's this need that everyone has but half the world is expected pretend not to, for no reason. Whoever shoved that insanity down your throat, and however they phrased it, it's still insanity.

I'm not saying I know your situation better than you do or anything. Maybe I've missed some mention of someone trying and getting into some sort of trouble. It's just that when you talk about this, it really sounds like nobody has ever even considered saying "I'm gonna squat behind that tree; you look out, then we switch?" I'm not hearing "it's too dangerous" or "the bosses get mad if we do it but not the men," (both of which would be a legal matter!) Rather, it's "When the bathroom itself isn't open what can you really do about it?" as if it's a foregone conclusion with not one inch of room for the idea that the answer might not actually be "nothing."

Has this really never been tried there? And if not, are you sure you'd be hung, drawn, and quartered if you were the first to suggest it?  And if you would answer yes to both, can you tell me that, if pretending the need doesn't exist is seen as this kind of law, you're sure others are not already doing this and not telling you? Would you know?

Edited by trekkie (see edit history)
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51 minutes ago, trekkie said:

@DesperateJill At the risk of being a broken record about it, I wonder what part of "it's either the bathroom or a 10-hour hold, there are just no options whatsoever" is socialization. Here and elsewhere I hear women talking about 'popping a squat,' making use of a tree or some such thing (often with a friend or two being a lookout for safety/privacy reasons, naturally.) It's not something all women see as law!

While it's true that a woman's body makes that more difficult and time consuming than the male version, there's a big gap between that and "the squat thing others talk of is this TOTAL non-option that you will die for even considering and so there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING EVER to be done about it because a woman must ALWAYS AND FOREVER be above that no matter WHAT suffering it brings." Are you sure that that law you seem to see as being so ironclad will actually be enforced by anyone other than the lingering voice of whoever taught you as a child that it's better to die than to fail to fit some impossibly perfect idea of "ladylike" that includes "good girls don't go to the bathroom, only gross boys, or at least the illusion must be maintained?" Because if you want misogyny, the slavery-to-"ladylikeness" rule is very misogynistic, even if other women have sadly been taken in and are enforcing it. Even if it sounds like it's about women being refined and men being crass, there's this need that everyone has but half the world is expected pretend not to, for no reason. Whoever shoved that insanity down your throat, and however they phrased it, it's still insanity.

I'm not saying I know your situation better than you do or anything. Maybe I've missed some mention of someone trying and getting into some sort of trouble. It's just that when you talk about this, it really sounds like nobody has ever even considered saying "I'm gonna squat behind that tree; you look out, then we switch?" I'm not hearing "it's too dangerous" or "the bosses get mad if we do it but not the men," (both of which would be a legal matter!) Rather, it's "When the bathroom itself isn't open what can you really do about it?" as if it's a foregone conclusion with not one inch of room for the idea that the answer might not actually be "nothing."

Has this really never been tried there? And if not, are you sure you'd be hung, drawn, and quartered if you were the first to suggest it?  And if you would answer yes to both, can you tell me that, if pretending the need doesn't exist is seen as this kind of law, you're sure others are not already doing this and not telling you? Would you know?

I think Jill has said previously that she did try squatting outside once but ended up making a mess because she's not good at it. I don't know what can be done about that really, all I can think of would be to practice doing it in the shower. 

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My ex (nonbinary but female-bodied) once told me a story that ended up with them having to ask, with utmost professionalism, where the restrooms might be... a few moments after literally screaming with desperation at the poorly-designed stoplight keeping them from getting to their destination. That image will stay with me for a while. 

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4 hours ago, segaface said:

I think Jill has said previously that she did try squatting outside once but ended up making a mess because she's not good at it. I don't know what can be done about that really, all I can think of would be to practice doing it in the shower. 

And here I mighta wasted that whole speech. 😛

Practice makes perfect! 😄 I wonder if there's a thread for that sorta thing, most efficient poses and whatnot. 

I once talked a female friend into trying peeing in the shower to practice doing it standing. She could never keep it from running down her legs. I didn't know her quite well enough to ask for  super detailed reports, alas. (Was the kind  of person you can have fun talking about "gross" things with, but I never told about, well, all this.)

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Yes that is true, on my first or second day of work I did end up having to run out into the woods and pee and I got most of it on my legs and it was really embarrassing. I really can't squat for my life as I am just totally uncoordinated, and when I was younger I even had sort of special occupational therapy for neurological issues. As soon as I try squatting I fall down right on my ass and everything like that. I have peed in the shower but that's only because it doesn't matter if I get pee all over myself when there is already running water going down my body!


So some people simply don't have the coordination to be able to squat effectively, and even so I wouldn't want to get half undressed in the middle of winter outdoors when I have coworkers not far away. And as far as I can tell my female coworkers also aren't peeing all day, at least judging by how they rush to the bathroom at the end of the day like I do and then pee very loudly and very long. So I don't really think that they are squatting throughout the day and not telling me about it. One time we left early cause one of my coworkers complained she needed to go.


I'm hoping that it will become a lesser issue though because at least the last couple of places we have went the restrooms were open, so I'm hoping that now that maybe Covid is finally in retreat they will start opening the bathrooms at these places again like it was originally supposed to be when I took the job in the assumption that all the bathrooms would be open. I sort of took the job before Covid started but then I started the job after Covid, so again bad timing. But I'm hoping that things are now finally changing for the better.

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I have been in several situations at work and school where I've not had access to a bathroom and it sucked. The two that immediately come to mind are when I worked security and when I was going to school to be a pilot.

When I worked security, there was one section where if you were assigned, you were out there all the time. Someone always had to be assigned there. 24/7 coverage was required. This was in a outdoor mall btw. One evening, my relief didnt show up, I had already been on that patrol for about 4 hours having had plenty of water to drink as it was summer, so I had to pee pretty bad already. That was when my shift was SUPPOSED to end. I kept getting told that my relief is going to be late, and that they were on their way. Then it turned into no one can get a hold of them, and then they just called out for the day. For reference, I was supposed to be off at 4pm. My last pee break was at 12pm. At 8pm, all the stores had been closed for 2 hours (Sunday hours if I remember right), after all the walking around and the next shift not coming in until 12am, I ended up peeing my pants.

The staffing issue never got fixed.

I quit that job a couple weeks later.

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1 hour ago, NearNudeLayla said:

I have been in several situations at work and school where I've not had access to a bathroom and it sucked. The two that immediately come to mind are when I worked security and when I was going to school to be a pilot.

When I worked security, there was one section where if you were assigned, you were out there all the time. Someone always had to be assigned there. 24/7 coverage was required. This was in a outdoor mall btw. One evening, my relief didnt show up, I had already been on that patrol for about 4 hours having had plenty of water to drink as it was summer, so I had to pee pretty bad already. That was when my shift was SUPPOSED to end. I kept getting told that my relief is going to be late, and that they were on their way. Then it turned into no one can get a hold of them, and then they just called out for the day. For reference, I was supposed to be off at 4pm. My last pee break was at 12pm. At 8pm, all the stores had been closed for 2 hours (Sunday hours if I remember right), after all the walking around and the next shift not coming in until 12am, I ended up peeing my pants.

The staffing issue never got fixed.

I quit that job a couple weeks later.

Oh no, that's awful for you. Did anyone notice?

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@NearNudeLayla

I had a similar situation in high school as well where because they found drugs and alcohol in the girls bathroom they locked all of them except for one, such that there was five stalls for like hundreds of girls. They technically gave us bathrooms but unless you just happen to be lucky enough to get their first you aren't going to have much of a chance to use one. I should have seen it as just a sign of things to come in a lifelong situation of having an inadequate number of bathrooms.


Our job we actually can take a break whenever we want. We basically have a bunch of assigned tasks that we are supposed to complete each day and as long as we complete all the tasks we can spend as much time as we want just basically killing time. But we are supposed to stay on site and everything like that and use the bathrooms available on site, but because of Covid the bathrooms have often been closed, although fortunately that seems to be changing, so I'm getting somewhat optimistic about that.


Fortunately I have never wet myself aside from that one time I ended up having to pee outside in a messy way. But I have gotten cautious and now I can carefully balance how long I can hold it, although every time we leave work a little bit later where there is traffic or other delays it really is quite awful, because every 15 minutes or 30 minute delay seems like a little thing, but if you have already been holding it for 6 1/2 hours it really makes a pretty big difference! So now I find myself in that role also of the woman who is sitting in traffic and being like come on already I have to pee!


But I wouldn't really quit my job because aside from the bathroom issue it really is a pretty good job where most of the day you're just sitting around doing nothing, it's only once or twice a week, usually only for a couple of hours, so it's good for someone who is lazy and doesn't get out much. Plus is the first actual job I have had other than self published novelist in 37 years and beggars can't be choosers. So here's just hoping as Covid goes away the bathroom situation will continue to improve. But fortunately I have never had an accident, and at least I get to watch my coworkers squirming as well!


I imagine security is a job that you wouldn't want to do with a full bladder though, basically any job where you are moving around a real lot I think would make it a lot more difficult, like in the movie Miga Miga Avasaram. I am lucky in that most of my day I am sitting sedentary on my ass in the back of a van so it's not like I am moving around and jostling the bladder constantly, it mostly stays at rest, even though it is very very full!

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@DesperateJill

I feel so bad for you, though, and any woman who has to hold it that long all the time. The bathroom issue wasn't the only reason I left the job. There were other reasons, but that was a big one since I could be fired for leaving the place unattended for just a moment. There are times I like to be a little desperate at work or on my commute home, though. But I like at least having the choice. And if I have an accident or it gets REALLY bad, then yeah, it's my own fault.

My middle school did like your school, except they locked all the bathrooms before the last bell to get out. So many days I would have to ride the bus desperate to pee... even in high school, but that's because our driver would leave the school like 2 minutes after school is out. I barely had time to make it to the bus at all, much less relieve myself.

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@NearNudeLayla

I have to admit that I feel like my situation is rather karmic because I used to enjoy seeing other women in situations where they couldn't pee all day, and out to be on the other side of the fence while everybody else is seemingly at home with bathrooms all the time is extremely frustrating. So although I still complain about it I do feel like to some degree it's like doing penance, humbling as I say.


My school situation was probably what made me realize my fetish in the first place because although it would frustrate and annoy me like all living hell I would find myself masturbating to thoughts of it when I got home. And it was true that sometimes they did end up closing the bathrooms before the end of the day but luckily I was really close to home. Also the last year I only had sort of a three or four hour day, so at least it wasn't as bad. But in 11th grade, damn was that annoying! By the time I finally got to my lunch  period I was always virtually ready to explode!

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@DesperateJill

That describes me pretty well to be honest. My first time realizing I was into girls was actually seeing one in my class desperate to pee while we were in lockdown in middle school. After that, I'd kind of notice more girls who were desperate, especially after school on the bus, and even others during school. In high school, sometimes I would get home, and instead of peeing right away, I'd get myself off, then go.

I had some awesome desperation experiences in college though. My commute being one hour, and my morning consisting of a fuckload of coffee. It felt good the one time I went the whole morning driving there, classes, driving back, without peeing.

 

Edited by NearNudeLayla (see edit history)
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@NearNudeLayla

I didn't fully realize I was a lesbian until college when I started exploring on the Internet but definitely in high school that's when I noticed that I was getting aroused over my frustration over being desperate and as much is I hated it when I would go to sleep at night I would masturbate to thoughts of myself or other girls desperate. I didn't really see many other girls desperate visibly but maybe back then I wasn't looking for it as much. But I did constantly think, God I can't be the only girl who must be bursting all day long!

Also going back to the original topic I think that having a pee fetish is what makes the job even more awkward as far as remaining professional goes. Not only do you have to remain professional while holding a full bladder and trying to ignore it, but the fact that even though you want the situation to end and want to get to a bathroom the frustration of it is partially what makes it so damn arousing. On top of having a full bladder you have to remain professional while that full bladder is arousing you and while you are seeing others with full bladders and getting aroused watching them! So it is a very tense type of situation and sometimes it's hard to keep a straight face. I am just lucky that I am alone most of the day at work so I don't have to be directly confronting my other desperate coworkers and be thinking constantly about how we mutually have to piss really bad!

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1 hour ago, NearNudeLayla said:

@DesperateJill

I feel so bad for you, though, and any woman who has to hold it that long all the time. The bathroom issue wasn't the only reason I left the job. There were other reasons, but that was a big one since I could be fired for leaving the place unattended for just a moment. There are times I like to be a little desperate at work or on my commute home, though. But I like at least having the choice. And if I have an accident or it gets REALLY bad, then yeah, it's my own fault.

My middle school did like your school, except they locked all the bathrooms before the last bell to get out. So many days I would have to ride the bus desperate to pee... even in high school, but that's because our driver would leave the school like 2 minutes after school is out. I barely had time to make it to the bus at all, much less relieve myself.

My school did the same, locked the toilets after last break because of the misuse smoking and vandalism so often if I needed to pee at end of school it would be a case of calculating if I could make it on the bus to home or if desperate already walk home through the park that was much longer but I got to go in the bushes as soon as I entered the park,

worst was When my sister a few years after me was at same school and I had to make sure she got home with me, a few times if I was really bursting after school I had to convince her to walk with me through the park instead of the bus so I could pee in the bushes,

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