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How do women feel about others enjoying your desperation and bathroom inconveniences when you would rather just pee?!!


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I guess this is a topic that I have addressed in numerous other threads but I felt that it deserved a thread all of its own seeing as it's something I think about pretty often. This came up when I was thinking about my other thread about worst jobs for women needing to pee and I couldn't help but think that I can totally understand why somebody would enjoy a situation where a woman is really in desperate need of a toilet but honestly can't get to one, even when she really really wants to desperation fetish be damned. Again I totally get that because I love to see other women in that situation myself, so I'm not gonna be a hypocrite about it or condemn it, but when you are actually in that situation it is insanely frustrating.


So I kind of read comments here about men basically talking about how great it is when they can pee and when women can't and everything like that, and again I totally get it, it's an exciting situation, but at the same time when you are a woman who doesn't get to pee and you read that you think of all the situations where guys are going to get to see you in a state of desperation where they don't find themselves similarly inconvenienced, do you ever sort of maybe feel a little bit like it's like a punch to the gut almost?


This is especially true if you are actually at a situation where you are in a bathroom restriction situation and can't get to a bathroom. Sometimes when I am not able to get to a bathroom like at my job, and I am reading some of the posts here about all of the guys enjoying it and liking my posts, I mean I'm glad that I'm getting lots of positive attention, but at the same time I'm really wincing as it's really rubbing it in the fact that they don't have to go to the bathroom at the moment. Reading comments about how great it is that women can't get to pee and everything while you are actually in a situation where you can't pee, it just almost makes you want to involuntarily cross your legs and start whimpering.


So I guess my question here is for other women, how do you feel knowing that people, especially guys, are enjoying your desperation even if you are in a situation where you would much rather be going to the bathroom at the moment? I suppose it brings up lots of conflicted feelings because on the one hand you know that they are enjoying it and you can understand why they are enjoying it, but at the same time sometimes it just makes you want to screen you know!


Sometimes I even find it is true of just the topic in general. Like when you go to a message board about the topic of potty parity and you see like 95% of the guys dismissing it and even some of the women joining in and you are thinking of all the situations in which you could really really use a bathroom right away but aren't going to get to, where the guys are similarly not, it's almost like an exercise in masochism, especially knowing that in the end it will probably prevail where they get their way and where they get to see us keep squirming when they don't have to. I have a good sense of humor about it though, probably because of my fetish, but at the same time you can't help but thinking of all the times when you are going to be in a situation where you would rather just get to a bathroom and thinking of all those people, mainly guys, who would be enjoying your situation who don't have to deal with a similar inconvenience.

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What do you think of men who are enjoying the situation? Say you are on a bus and the guy next to you is taking joy in your desperation and he isn’t desperate? I get you think it’s a punch in the gut but how about how you feel towards a guy enjoying it? Do you think he’s a sadist, want to blame him or just think it’s natural because men could pee easier? 
 

would you think the men is perverted, would you be mean to the guy and try and prevent him from going too?

 

do you think most men not understand potty parity or the real reason why women have a longer line and not stereotypes as to why that is so

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"What do you think of men who are enjoying the situation? Say you are on a bus and the guy next to you is taking joy in your desperation and he isn’t desperate? I get you think it’s a punch in the gut but how about how you feel towards a guy enjoying it? Do you think he’s a sadist, want to blame him or just think it’s natural because men could pee easier?"

Like I said I don't judge him in any way, because I would love seeing a woman next to me desperate while I didn't have to pee as well, so I'm not going to be a hypocrite about that. But if I knew he was actively enjoying it depends on how well I knew him. If it was just something stranger I might feel uncomfortable and frustrated. If it was a person that I knew I would think they were probably just joking around with me and teasing me in a lighthearted manner. If it was a person I knew had the fetish we had talked about it before I would be understanding about it but still kind of frustrated and awkward.

Honestly I would be understanding up until a point if the person wasn't being particularly sadistic or mean about it, but the whole time I would be thinking God when are we just going to get to a bathroom already?!

That is actually kind of what I was getting at a lot with my question, because pretty much everybody who is going to answer this question probably has the fetish to some degree, including the women in question. But even women with a desperation fetish definitely have situations where we would just like to pee already, even if we were with someone who enjoyed our situation. I am sure that there women who enjoy desperation who have been with a male companion who also enjoys their desperation but are in a situation where they just desperately want to go to the bathroom but the guys just totally are taking advantage of the situation and enjoying it in a way that she probably isn't.

"would you think the men is perverted, would you be mean to the guy and try and prevent him from going too?"

I'm not going to think somebody is perverted for having the same fetish I have, just be frustrated that they were in the advantageous position. But no, I wouldn't be mean to him or try to prevent him from going to the bathroom, because honestly that would be sort of a strange thing to do, in particular in a public situation like that. Again I don't begrudge guys the fact that they can go to the bathroom more easily, it's just kind of frustrating when you really have to go and you can see them getting to relieve themselves. The bus might not be the best example though because we would both be presumably in a situation where there was no bathroom to relieve ourselves. Of course that if we get off the bus and the bathroom for the ladies room was out of order or there was a huge line but none for the men that would just be more frustrating of course. That is a situation where women would be thinking "screw desperation I wanna go!"

"do you think most men not understand potty parity or the real reason why women have a longer line and not stereotypes as to why that is so"

I do think that most men tend to blame women for the line and not realize that it's because of inequality and everything like that, but I also think that a lot of guys simply don't care because the situation doesn't affect them directly. I also think that a lot of guys are thinking that women want twice as many toilets feel that women are asking for more, when they are just asking to have a near equal amount to begin with, because I think guys don't realize just how much of an advantage they have to begin with and they feel that their personal privilege is under attack. I think that this applies to lots of other situations involving privilege as well, where a lot of men think that feminist gains are an attack on men, or where white people see equality for black people as being antiwhite. It's not, but I think a lot of people have that perception because they feel that their privileged situation is coming under attack and that people are blaming them for something wrong when they are just trying to equal the playing field.

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It's frustrating to me, not because I've experienced a big difference in my personal life, but because I really dislike anything non consensual. Personally, I think not having access to a restroom is a health and human rights issue. So employers restricting restroom access just infuriates me, especially if there's a simple solution to the problem. It can cause health issues too. I find it hot if someone CHOOSES to hold it even though they have restroom access. This is more in general, though.

Otherwise, I do find it annoying when men think it's hot that we can't go when they can, and/ or that they usually have easier access to a restroom while women just have to hold it. Honestly, I haven't seen this too much in my personal life, but I've heard of it a lot, so I know it exists. It just seems sexist to me. So yes, long story short, I find it frustrating. I do kind of feel like a killjoy at times, though, ngl.

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"It's frustrating to me, not because I've experienced a big difference in my personal life, but because I really dislike anything non consensual. Personally, I think not having access to a restroom is a health and human rights issue. So employers restricting restroom access just infuriates me, especially if there's a simple solution to the problem. It can cause health issues too. I find it hot if someone CHOOSES to hold it even though they have restroom access. This is more in general, though."


I totally understand that but one reason I can't get too mad at people enjoying my experiences, especially when I openly talk about them here, is that I know that even if I felt it was wrong for someone to be in that situation I would enjoy seeing someone desperate no matter the circumstances. You can't help but feel excited by a situation like that even if the person doesn't want to be in the situation. You can feel sympathetic but at the same time just seeing somebody desperate and seeing them having to deal with that can't help but be exciting. So for that reason I can't get too mad at people without being a hypocrite for now enjoying hearing about me in a situation like that. But it still is rather frustrating for sure.


"Otherwise, I do find it annoying when men think it's hot that we can't go when they can, and/ or that they usually have easier access to a restroom while women just have to hold it. Honestly, I haven't seen this too much in my personal life, but I've heard of it a lot, so I know it exists. It just seems sexist to me. So yes, long story short, I find it frustrating. I do kind of feel like a killjoy at times, though, ngl."


I can relate fully here as well. I actually have experienced a lot from having mostly guys as friends growing up, to having them locking all the girls bathrooms in high school, to the unfair bathroom pass system in elementary school, to just lots of situations where guys were able to relieve themselves where I wasn't, so it has become something of a fixation to me and something that I have really really come to notice, and it can be frustrating when you are the only one not getting to go to the bathroom really quickly.


And I also get what you mean about being a killjoy at times like that. It sort of like when you are with a group of guys and there is a long line for the ladies room and they don't want to wait, you don't want to be the killjoy holding everybody up so you become what I call a "go along girl" where you just sort of suck it up and go along with the group because you don't want to be the killjoy, while meanwhile your bladder is going to explode and you try not to complain even as your bladder grows fuller and fuller. I haven't been with guys like this who are interested in it in a fetish sense that I know of, but it still just as frustrating. I feel if I was with someone who is into the fetish that I would be willing to joke about it and I would be lighthearted about it, but only to a point. After a certain point it becomes not so funny, and even though the guys might still be enjoying seeing me hopping from foot to foot at some point you really just do want to pee and get on with it already.


But as I have said again and again, I'm not going to be a hypocrite and get mad at people for enjoying it. If I was in a situation where I was with a guy who I knew enjoyed the fetish where he was able to relieve himself and I wasn't I would again be good-humored about it, up until a point, that I can understand how he was enjoying it, but at the same time I would be like, I just want to get to a bathroom already! So I can understand that if you get in a situation like that voluntarily or involuntarily, you really can't blame somebody for enjoying the situation if you have no control over it but at the same time you can't help but be a little annoyed that you are the one in the desperate situation while they are just enjoying every minute of it without having to experience any desperation themselves.


Like I said in my other thread about female fans of female desperation versus male fans of male desperation it can lead to a feeling of jealousy the fact that men have so many good opportunities to see us in a desperate situation, often entirely unexpectedly, wearing almost any situation where I am likely to see real good female desperation my priority is probably on the fact that I am myself desperate and I really just want to get to a bathroom!


So again if I was in a situation with a guy where I knew he was enjoying seeing me desperate, I totally wouldn't be mad at him for enjoying it, but the longer it took me to find a bathroom the more agitated I would be getting and while he would want it to keep going on and on I would just be mainly fixated on getting relief. A guy in a situation where he can pee and you cannot would naturally be finding this was enhancing the experience, but especially if you were doing something unrelated to desperation for you it would just be kind of aggravating and an added burden that was distracting you from doing other things. But the opposite situation pretty much never arises, it's always a situation where as the woman you are the one who is likely to be desperate, and often the only one desperate if everyone around you is a guy, and that can really get frustrating when it happens very frequently.

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  • 2 weeks later...

As a guy, the idea of a woman not being able to use the bathroom at work gives me the same kind of feeling as anyone who isn't able to use the bathroom at work.  That feeling is that everyone should have access to take care of their basic bodily necessities, regardless of their gender.  That said, as a guy, I can't just whip it out and go wherever I want to either.  That is how you get your name on a list that you have to explain to your new neighbors when you move.  Ultimately, I think that no one should that sort of indignity against their will.

If you are restricted access to restrooms for your job, that's seriously messed up and probably illegal, depending on where you work.  Heck, I remember when I was a kid reading about horrible companies that forced their employees to wear diapers rather than allowing them to use the bathroom and they were shut down by OSHA.

If you were desperate by your own choice, that's one thing, but if you do not have access to restrooms, that's not cool.

I guess I could suggest that you could wear a diaper at work, but that should be a personal choice and not due to employer restricting bathroom access.

I'll leave my soapbox right here now.

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I think the problem in this case really is Covid which has really limited bathroom access for a lot of people. When I originally took the job they explained that I could go to the bathroom outside but that most of these places had bathrooms seeing as most of the places we go our parks. We don't really work at the same location every day but in almost all cases it's pretty much outdoors. So there's always kind of the hope that the bathrooms will be open but if the bathrooms aren't open I guess it's just a case of being fresh out of luck.


But one time one of my other female coworkers had to go to the bathroom really bad and we ended up leaving early to get to a bathroom, so maybe if we spoke up more we would get more of a chance to go to the bathroom, but it's kind of a hard thing to ask in a mixed sex environment I have to admit. Even when I am really bursting I am kind of shy to say can we maybe go look for a bathroom. But I am hoping that maybe as Covid gets better they will start opening these bathrooms more again, because the other two times at work the bathrooms were open at the place we went, but then at this current park I think perhaps because of the snow the bathrooms weren't open and boy did I have to go by the end of the day!

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