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Chapter 4: Stalked Despite her confusion what Annabeth had found was amazing, possibly the first of its kind. But now the temple had been unearthed it was a race against time before other people

Chapter 6: With great power It had taken her about an hour to get to the airport and rearrange her flights, paying Miia generously for her time and discomfort the pair had parted ways. She had to

Chapter 3: Awakening Blinking slowly Annabeth quickly sat upright as the panic and hazy memories of what had just happened came flooding back to her. She wasn’t sure how long she had been there,

First of all I just wanted to thank everyone for being so Positive and for reading in the first place. Also, if anyone has any ideas feel free to chuck them in a post, no guarantees I will incorporate them but you never know what thoughts it might create and hopefully lead to something you will enjoy!

 

On 2/20/2021 at 4:18 AM, HopBop said:

I love the bladder budgeting she has to do. I hope the budget gets tight soon... 😈 

Thank you, its a bit of a niche thing and I was worried might turn some people off the story. But im happy to see you are enjoying it and yes im sure there will be some more...opportunities for mistakes or oversights to be made in tight situations. Although quite what these might be im not sure yet.

19 hours ago, Night Rain said:

Wouldn't mind seeing Mila return again and the rune's effects used on her again.

I think that can probably be arranged.

 

8 hours ago, holdinginpee said:

if people can lose control before the 100% mark, perhaps they can also retain control beyond it. would be fun if annabeth happened to cross paths with joy again and discovered she was still holding despite being well over 100% by that point.

Its an interesting idea, it might not happen with Joy but could come up again at some point. 

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Given that you asked for ideas, here's a couple of things I thought could be fun:

- Giving Courtney a demonstration while explaining Annabeth's new abilities to her

- Getting people to go to the bathroom 'for someone else'. E.g. having Courtney take Annabeth's pee to the bathroom for her while she is working.

- Solving bathroom lines by getting some out of a group of people needing to pee to go for all of them.

- On that last thought: could Annabeth transport urine into the bladder of someone she can't see? E.g. someone who is - conveniently - on a toilet at that time?

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22 minutes ago, ola93 said:

Given that you asked for ideas, here's a couple of things I thought could be fun:

- Giving Courtney a demonstration while explaining Annabeth's new abilities to her

- Getting people to go to the bathroom 'for someone else'. E.g. having Courtney take Annabeth's pee to the bathroom for her while she is working.

- Solving bathroom lines by getting some out of a group of people needing to pee to go for all of them.

- On that last thought: could Annabeth transport urine into the bladder of someone she can't see? E.g. someone who is - conveniently - on a toilet at that time?

I can confirm that the notes for the next chapter or two, do include at least two of these. Although I hadn't thought about the idea of Annabeth using it to give her assistant a new role as a peeing assistant while she works! So I might have to put that in too.

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I enjoyed Joy's role in the story a lot. Her being in control while holding in so much was the best part of the last chapter for me. Would love to see her or a character like her deal with being taken to that limit again. Really do wonder what how she plans on lasting through a cab ride when she's at 99% capacity before even setting off.

Thanks for writing and definitely looking forward to more!

 

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I'm a slow reader, so it took me a bit to get through your 7 incredibly well written chapters. Fantastic world building and wonderful characters, I loved each and every one of them. I'm super drawn into the story you're crafting. I love how you write and describe scenes of tension and action, like the water filling the chamber and I really enjoyed how you had Anna slow down and think things through, while still maintaining the sense of fear and urgency by describing how it made her feel.

Speaking of Anna she's a really good protagonist, she feels so real, she makes good decisions when faced with difficult choices, and has complex thoughts and feelings about all the weird new things happening in her life.

All the powers you're giving the rune and all of the mystery and history behind it, keeps me super engaged and ultra excited to see how you continue this masterpiece.

I can't wait to read more, thank you so much for sharing your brilliant writing with us.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Really enjoying the story so far, also very excited for what's to come.

I especially like the worldbuilding-part with the dreamsequences, for me it elevates a story and gives it more spice.

With the Egyptian/Archeology setting so far, my imagination keeps mixing the story together with The Mummy movie, just without the Mummy. (And Brendan ofc, haha)

 

The characters feel quite human and realistic.

Courtney is probably going to be my favorite character, her offering to take the burden from the others on the Bus really made me respect her. (Just a bit afraid she might sacrifice herself, based on how bad things are looking towards the end of this last part.)

She is giving me Sam-Vibes from Lotr.

 

Cutting this last chapter short didn't bother me at all, getting a cliffhanger actually makes me want to theorise on what's going to happen in the continuing part.

Also, getting a writers block is perfectly normal, and you shouldn't feel bad for taking so long to post.

For me atleast, Quality > Quantity.

And there is no problem asking for help/ideas when you feel like you are writing yourself into a dead end or have another writers block.

Dont underestimate the imagination of the people here, I am pretty sure atleast 1 suggestion getting tossed out would grant you the inspiration needed to contine the story, so long as you feel the motivation to do so.

 

 

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On 3/13/2021 at 11:00 PM, Melificentfan said:

That was a fantasmic chapter can’t wait to read what will happen next 

 

On 3/14/2021 at 1:14 PM, Rinatro said:

Amazing chapter again. This has quickly turned into one of my favourite stories on the site. Can't wait for the next part! 

 

18 hours ago, Manticore said:

Great scenario again! Hope Annabeth siphons a little (or a lot!) into unsympathetic Monica. Courtney's playing a likeable role in the story too, she's a brave one buying the rest of the passengers some time.

Looking forward to more!

 

Thank you all for your continued Support! It means a lot.

 

On 3/14/2021 at 6:06 PM, darkdealer89 said:

Really enjoying the story so far, also very excited for what's to come.

I especially like the worldbuilding-part with the dreamsequences, for me it elevates a story and gives it more spice.

With the Egyptian/Archeology setting so far, my imagination keeps mixing the story together with The Mummy movie, just without the Mummy. (And Brendan ofc, haha)

 

The characters feel quite human and realistic.

Courtney is probably going to be my favorite character, her offering to take the burden from the others on the Bus really made me respect her. (Just a bit afraid she might sacrifice herself, based on how bad things are looking towards the end of this last part.)

She is giving me Sam-Vibes from Lotr.

 

Cutting this last chapter short didn't bother me at all, getting a cliffhanger actually makes me want to theorise on what's going to happen in the continuing part.

Also, getting a writers block is perfectly normal, and you shouldn't feel bad for taking so long to post.

For me atleast, Quality > Quantity.

And there is no problem asking for help/ideas when you feel like you are writing yourself into a dead end or have another writers block.

Dont underestimate the imagination of the people here, I am pretty sure atleast 1 suggestion getting tossed out would grant you the inspiration needed to contine the story, so long as you feel the motivation to do so.

 

 

Thank you, thats very kind!

Its good to know people enjoy the world building, while the desperation is always fun to think about. The world building in a strange way considering that its on this site is probably the most enjoyable part of writing it. 

 

I do like a good cliff-hanger too, its kind of why I decided to stop where I was. Although there may still be some twists to come. 

as for the writers block its something I get from time to time as I think everyone does. I had the main points / events written out but just didn't have the mojo to write the story around them in a way I was happy with.  But im happy with how it turned out so far so thats always good.

 

Ideas are always welcome, despite the block in my brain I actually figured out the end of the story haha. So I will be steering towards from now on but that doesnt mean I cant stick an extra chapter in with an idea from you guys in. And dont worry im not ending it any time soon!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Another great chapter! I think Monica and Philippa didn't take the opportunity to make themselves comfortable after the bus ride - hoping it might come back to haunt them. Philippa seemed sympathetic enough during the bus ride but it would be interesting to see Annabeth getting her boss out of an embarrassing accident (at Monica's expense!)

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