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I still get so embarrassed when it happens. I try to sneak off to a forgotten corner or empty conference room (or utility closet!). But sometimes there is no stopping a ripping loud fart.

Once I had a female co-worker cover for me. "Damn, burritos!" she laughed and rubbed her stomach. I would have kissed her, but HR would have put me on the rack (not in a good way) and I am not adept at knowing if that was a proper response. 

A guy I worked with at University would yell "VIRGIN!" (Yes, he yelled in all caps.) anytime someone farted loudly. Inevitably, someone would take the bait and ask how he knew.  They would get the full "Oh, let me tell you, honey ..." explanation. I would blush, but at least it wasn't just me.

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23 minutes ago, tennyson said:

I still get so embarrassed when it happens. I try to sneak off to a forgotten corner or empty conference room (or utility closet!). But sometimes there is no stopping a ripping loud fart.

Once I had a female co-worker cover for me. "Damn, burritos!" she laughed and rubbed her stomach. I would have kissed her, but HR would have put me on the rack (not in a good way) and I am not adept at knowing if that was a proper response. 

A guy I worked with at University would yell "VIRGIN!" (Yes, he yelled in all caps.) anytime someone farted loudly. Inevitably, someone would take the bait and ask how he knew.  They would get the full "Oh, let me tell you, honey ..." explanation. I would blush, but at least it wasn't just me.

I saw a man fart on a candle and his ass caught fire

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1 hour ago, tennyson said:

I still get so embarrassed when it happens. I try to sneak off to a forgotten corner or empty conference room (or utility closet!). But sometimes there is no stopping a ripping loud fart.

Once I had a female co-worker cover for me. "Damn, burritos!" she laughed and rubbed her stomach. I would have kissed her, but HR would have put me on the rack (not in a good way) and I am not adept at knowing if that was a proper response. 

A guy I worked with at University would yell "VIRGIN!" (Yes, he yelled in all caps.) anytime someone farted loudly. Inevitably, someone would take the bait and ask how he knew.  They would get the full "Oh, let me tell you, honey ..." explanation. I would blush, but at least it wasn't just me.

I once had severe diarrhea at work🤣🤣🤣

Edited by DrJerry (see edit history)
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7 hours ago, jboarder64L said:

I always thought that was just a myth until I saw it myself 😂

its fireshow🤣🤣

6 hours ago, Emilylovesmusic said:

Every now and then I say something and laugh or laugh at someone else's joke and without warning I will fart kinda loud. It is always super embarrassing when it happens lol

I had a conference and a woman farted loudly while I was talking.I had to stop myself from laughing.

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18 hours ago, Emilylovesmusic said:

Every now and then I say something and laugh or laugh at someone else's joke and without warning I will fart kinda loud. It is always super embarrassing when it happens lol

Really sorry to hear that, I know I'd be super embarrassed if I ever farted in front of someone. (Not that I don't find it fun to fart otherwise...)

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24 minutes ago, The Dark Wolf said:

Really sorry to hear that, I know I'd be super embarrassed if I ever farted in front of someone. (Not that I don't find it fun to fart otherwise...)

And at home you can at least fart into the microphone

On 1/7/2021 at 8:53 PM, tennyson said:

I still get so embarrassed when it happens. I try to sneak off to a forgotten corner or empty conference room (or utility closet!). But sometimes there is no stopping a ripping loud fart.

Once I had a female co-worker cover for me. "Damn, burritos!" she laughed and rubbed her stomach. I would have kissed her, but HR would have put me on the rack (not in a good way) and I am not adept at knowing if that was a proper response. 

A guy I worked with at University would yell "VIRGIN!" (Yes, he yelled in all caps.) anytime someone farted loudly. Inevitably, someone would take the bait and ask how he knew.  They would get the full "Oh, let me tell you, honey ..." explanation. I would blush, but at least it wasn't just me.

Did you have severe diarrhea at an official event?

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On 1/7/2021 at 8:53 PM, tennyson said:

I still get so embarrassed when it happens. I try to sneak off to a forgotten corner or empty conference room (or utility closet!). But sometimes there is no stopping a ripping loud fart.

Once I had a female co-worker cover for me. "Damn, burritos!" she laughed and rubbed her stomach. I would have kissed her, but HR would have put me on the rack (not in a good way) and I am not adept at knowing if that was a proper response. 

A guy I worked with at University would yell "VIRGIN!" (Yes, he yelled in all caps.) anytime someone farted loudly. Inevitably, someone would take the bait and ask how he knew.  They would get the full "Oh, let me tell you, honey ..." explanation. I would blush, but at least it wasn't just me.

I almost took a shit in the bank once

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53 minutes ago, DrJerry said:

Did you have severe diarrhea at an official event?

I have. Both as a speaker and guest. Thank the gods I wasn't the main speaker. I can speak in public and if I do not think about it I am OK, but I do think about it and have severe anxiety. Usually, I can't eat beforehand and am shaking so much after, I cannot tell you what I said or did or if I was half decent. 

But I have shit myself severely more than a few times. Luckily, I like to wear dark clothes/pants. A colleague, not the one mentioned above, unfortunately, but one who is a close friend, told me she gave a lights out presentation (the room had to be completely dark) and started to shit her pantyhose. She was in a dress. She ended up using one hand to control the presentation and the other to shove her finger up her bum (with table napkins).

When the lights came up, she barely had time to yank her hand out of the back of her pantyhose and end the presentation. Since she was a woman, the guys rushed the stage and mobbed her. She did not have time to run off to the bathroom, but she took her "panty hand" as she called it, and put it behind her back. She shook hands with her other hand. After 2 hours of standing Q and not being listened to, she cleared the session and had to wait for everyone to leave. She was backed against the podium and the napkins had slipped out and she was soaked from her bum to her feet. Ruined a good pair of shoes.

Anyway, she told me that had happened at a previous event to commiserate with me before I had to go up to give my presentation. I had to go out of the hall and queue for my presentation when my bowels went.

The hall was fake marble. I really didn't have much warning and ruined my pants, underwear, socks, and shoes. Luckily, my shirt was untucked in the back. I went into the men's and luckily it was next to the gym/shower sauna. I punished the toilet. I stood up. I repeated. All the while holding my stomach. My clothes were in a pile, wrapped in towels. I shit until I was dizzy.

Luckily no one was around. I ran into the showers with my shitty clothes and showered off. Free shampoo! I peed in the shower. I felt OK. I couldn't hand off my presentation to anyone else. I check the time. Still 20 mins to go. I debated on what to keep. The sauna was on, but no one was in there, so I threw in my clothes.

10 minutes to go. I dried myself with towels. I peed some more. I went over and shit some more.

5 minutes to go. Shit they were going to be looking for me in the hall. I went into the sauna and the socks did not dry at all. The pants were sort of dry? The underwear wasn't dry. I used towels to try to blot dry everything. I used the wall air dryers ... I was late. OK. I felt like I was going to shit myself again. I remembered my colleague's story. No napkins. No paper towels.

So I took my underwear and shoved a finger-full the damp, but clean, crotch area  up my ass. OW. But it worked, I guess. I got over the oddness of it all by pretending my colleague had told me (kind of mental telepathy ) to do it on a dare. That made it OK. That she "knew" and wouldn't judge me for doing it.

I put on the damp pants and my "presentation" shoes. (I wear comfortable shoes up until the moment I go "on", then I put on the shoes that look the best. I have very odd, narrow feel and can only wear one type of shoe (Brooks) and I had just lost a new pair. Now I was in my dress shoes which would kill my feet.)

I rushed to the backstage entrance saying someone got sick or something in the hall and I fell - but was OK and don't worry, I won't sue. The organizer PA was saying that the previous presenter had run over and bored everyone - then he realized what I said. He turned white and told me that he hoped I did a better job or the "mob" may lynch me. (Great ... public presenter humour ... just what I needed)

I got up on stage and froze. Everyone looked relieved and bored. This was not good. I could feel the sweat running down my neck, back, butt ...

Oh shit.

I could not reach back and shove my underwear back up my own asshole. I had to stand there and give my entire presentation with the hot lights, the people staring at me, and the feeling of a rivulet of shit running from my cheeks and down between my legs. 

It isn't like I could even enjoy it. My pants were, by the end of it, room dried to my body. I have a shy penis. Even if I am excited, sometimes it decides to vanish. I do mean negative inches.

I guess I did well in the presentation. I did not get fired. I left the stage after Q&A and went to my room and showered, and cried, for hours. 

Sorry it wasn't a sexy story. Pretend it was for both our sakes. 

 

OH, and this was posted with very minimal editing. I have to get to Lowe's before the Friday rush. The factory sealed replacement toilet seat I bought last night came with the screw holes stripped out. So, there will be lots of errors, Sorry.

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4 hours ago, DrJerry said:

And at home you can at least fart into the microphone

Did you have severe diarrhea at an official event?

I would advise that if you fart into a microphone that it's not one you plan on talking into soon afterward.

I noticed something in a commercial for Miralax the other day.  They mention taking it at night, then when you wake up, "IT'S SHOW TIME!"  Umm, does that mean it's a "shit show"?  I mean, what other kind of show time would it be?

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11 hours ago, tennyson said:

I have. Both as a speaker and guest. Thank the gods I wasn't the main speaker. I can speak in public and if I do not think about it I am OK, but I do think about it and have severe anxiety. Usually, I can't eat beforehand and am shaking so much after, I cannot tell you what I said or did or if I was half decent. 

But I have shit myself severely more than a few times. Luckily, I like to wear dark clothes/pants. A colleague, not the one mentioned above, unfortunately, but one who is a close friend, told me she gave a lights out presentation (the room had to be completely dark) and started to shit her pantyhose. She was in a dress. She ended up using one hand to control the presentation and the other to shove her finger up her bum (with table napkins).

When the lights came up, she barely had time to yank her hand out of the back of her pantyhose and end the presentation. Since she was a woman, the guys rushed the stage and mobbed her. She did not have time to run off to the bathroom, but she took her "panty hand" as she called it, and put it behind her back. She shook hands with her other hand. After 2 hours of standing Q and not being listened to, she cleared the session and had to wait for everyone to leave. She was backed against the podium and the napkins had slipped out and she was soaked from her bum to her feet. Ruined a good pair of shoes.

Anyway, she told me that had happened at a previous event to commiserate with me before I had to go up to give my presentation. I had to go out of the hall and queue for my presentation when my bowels went.

The hall was fake marble. I really didn't have much warning and ruined my pants, underwear, socks, and shoes. Luckily, my shirt was untucked in the back. I went into the men's and luckily it was next to the gym/shower sauna. I punished the toilet. I stood up. I repeated. All the while holding my stomach. My clothes were in a pile, wrapped in towels. I shit until I was dizzy.

Luckily no one was around. I ran into the showers with my shitty clothes and showered off. Free shampoo! I peed in the shower. I felt OK. I couldn't hand off my presentation to anyone else. I check the time. Still 20 mins to go. I debated on what to keep. The sauna was on, but no one was in there, so I threw in my clothes.

10 minutes to go. I dried myself with towels. I peed some more. I went over and shit some more.

5 minutes to go. Shit they were going to be looking for me in the hall. I went into the sauna and the socks did not dry at all. The pants were sort of dry? The underwear wasn't dry. I used towels to try to blot dry everything. I used the wall air dryers ... I was late. OK. I felt like I was going to shit myself again. I remembered my colleague's story. No napkins. No paper towels.

So I took my underwear and shoved a finger-full the damp, but clean, crotch area  up my ass. OW. But it worked, I guess. I got over the oddness of it all by pretending my colleague had told me (kind of mental telepathy ) to do it on a dare. That made it OK. That she "knew" and wouldn't judge me for doing it.

I put on the damp pants and my "presentation" shoes. (I wear comfortable shoes up until the moment I go "on", then I put on the shoes that look the best. I have very odd, narrow feel and can only wear one type of shoe (Brooks) and I had just lost a new pair. Now I was in my dress shoes which would kill my feet.)

I rushed to the backstage entrance saying someone got sick or something in the hall and I fell - but was OK and don't worry, I won't sue. The organizer PA was saying that the previous presenter had run over and bored everyone - then he realized what I said. He turned white and told me that he hoped I did a better job or the "mob" may lynch me. (Great ... public presenter humour ... just what I needed)

I got up on stage and froze. Everyone looked relieved and bored. This was not good. I could feel the sweat running down my neck, back, butt ...

Oh shit.

I could not reach back and shove my underwear back up my own asshole. I had to stand there and give my entire presentation with the hot lights, the people staring at me, and the feeling of a rivulet of shit running from my cheeks and down between my legs. 

It isn't like I could even enjoy it. My pants were, by the end of it, room dried to my body. I have a shy penis. Even if I am excited, sometimes it decides to vanish. I do mean negative inches.

I guess I did well in the presentation. I did not get fired. I left the stage after Q&A and went to my room and showered, and cried, for hours. 

Sorry it wasn't a sexy story. Pretend it was for both our sakes. 

 

OH, and this was posted with very minimal editing. I have to get to Lowe's before the Friday rush. The factory sealed replacement toilet seat I bought last night came with the screw holes stripped out. So, there will be lots of errors, Sorry.

did you remember this presentation for all your life?

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22 hours ago, tennyson said:

I have. Both as a speaker and guest. Thank the gods I wasn't the main speaker. I can speak in public and if I do not think about it I am OK, but I do think about it and have severe anxiety. Usually, I can't eat beforehand and am shaking so much after, I cannot tell you what I said or did or if I was half decent. 

But I have shit myself severely more than a few times. Luckily, I like to wear dark clothes/pants. A colleague, not the one mentioned above, unfortunately, but one who is a close friend, told me she gave a lights out presentation (the room had to be completely dark) and started to shit her pantyhose. She was in a dress. She ended up using one hand to control the presentation and the other to shove her finger up her bum (with table napkins).

When the lights came up, she barely had time to yank her hand out of the back of her pantyhose and end the presentation. Since she was a woman, the guys rushed the stage and mobbed her. She did not have time to run off to the bathroom, but she took her "panty hand" as she called it, and put it behind her back. She shook hands with her other hand. After 2 hours of standing Q and not being listened to, she cleared the session and had to wait for everyone to leave. She was backed against the podium and the napkins had slipped out and she was soaked from her bum to her feet. Ruined a good pair of shoes.

Anyway, she told me that had happened at a previous event to commiserate with me before I had to go up to give my presentation. I had to go out of the hall and queue for my presentation when my bowels went.

The hall was fake marble. I really didn't have much warning and ruined my pants, underwear, socks, and shoes. Luckily, my shirt was untucked in the back. I went into the men's and luckily it was next to the gym/shower sauna. I punished the toilet. I stood up. I repeated. All the while holding my stomach. My clothes were in a pile, wrapped in towels. I shit until I was dizzy.

Luckily no one was around. I ran into the showers with my shitty clothes and showered off. Free shampoo! I peed in the shower. I felt OK. I couldn't hand off my presentation to anyone else. I check the time. Still 20 mins to go. I debated on what to keep. The sauna was on, but no one was in there, so I threw in my clothes.

10 minutes to go. I dried myself with towels. I peed some more. I went over and shit some more.

5 minutes to go. Shit they were going to be looking for me in the hall. I went into the sauna and the socks did not dry at all. The pants were sort of dry? The underwear wasn't dry. I used towels to try to blot dry everything. I used the wall air dryers ... I was late. OK. I felt like I was going to shit myself again. I remembered my colleague's story. No napkins. No paper towels.

So I took my underwear and shoved a finger-full the damp, but clean, crotch area  up my ass. OW. But it worked, I guess. I got over the oddness of it all by pretending my colleague had told me (kind of mental telepathy ) to do it on a dare. That made it OK. That she "knew" and wouldn't judge me for doing it.

I put on the damp pants and my "presentation" shoes. (I wear comfortable shoes up until the moment I go "on", then I put on the shoes that look the best. I have very odd, narrow feel and can only wear one type of shoe (Brooks) and I had just lost a new pair. Now I was in my dress shoes which would kill my feet.)

I rushed to the backstage entrance saying someone got sick or something in the hall and I fell - but was OK and don't worry, I won't sue. The organizer PA was saying that the previous presenter had run over and bored everyone - then he realized what I said. He turned white and told me that he hoped I did a better job or the "mob" may lynch me. (Great ... public presenter humour ... just what I needed)

I got up on stage and froze. Everyone looked relieved and bored. This was not good. I could feel the sweat running down my neck, back, butt ...

Oh shit.

I could not reach back and shove my underwear back up my own asshole. I had to stand there and give my entire presentation with the hot lights, the people staring at me, and the feeling of a rivulet of shit running from my cheeks and down between my legs. 

It isn't like I could even enjoy it. My pants were, by the end of it, room dried to my body. I have a shy penis. Even if I am excited, sometimes it decides to vanish. I do mean negative inches.

I guess I did well in the presentation. I did not get fired. I left the stage after Q&A and went to my room and showered, and cried, for hours. 

Sorry it wasn't a sexy story. Pretend it was for both our sakes. 

 

OH, and this was posted with very minimal editing. I have to get to Lowe's before the Friday rush. The factory sealed replacement toilet seat I bought last night came with the screw holes stripped out. So, there will be lots of errors, Sorry.

I like your stories very much)))

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I have. Usually I try not to fart or mess my diaper/skirt in front of other people, but sometimes I have an upset stomach and I can't help it. One time at work, and I should probably write a full messing experience about this, I was laughing with my colleagues while needing to poo, and I just full on dumped in my diaper. It contained the mess, but I'm sure some people realised I'd done a poo in my skirt. I had a change of diaper in my bag, so it wasn't a big deal, but it was pretty embarrassing. As for farts, I'm pretty good at just squeaking them out so people don't notice.

Edited by OmorashiOnna (see edit history)
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@DrJerry

I don't recall anything of what went on during the presentation. I was scared "shitless". LOL?!

I am glad you like my stories. I guess it helps when someone likes them or understand them or even gets excited by them. Otherwise, I kind of feel alone in the universe when things like that happen. I know a lot of people who have fetishes seem to have trouble finding someone who "gets" them without judging them. 

It means a lot when everyone likes or understands what another member says/writes/creates/etc. (Sorry, it's been a difficult week and being able to see all of the wonderful posts and art and video links everything helps.)

🙂 HUGS

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