Jump to content
Existing user? Sign In

Sign In



Sign Up

Are Women Less Sympathetic Towards Other Women Who Are Desperate to Pee?


Recommended Posts

I was just thinking of this in regards to my other topic about worst jobs for women needing to pee. As I have mentioned in numerous threads I recently had a job all summer where I didn't have bathroom access the whole time and had to hold it for six hours or more without a bathroom. I think that many people found the situation to be amusing, especially given my history of enjoying other women in a similar situation like that, some would even say it was rather poetic justice and everything like that.


As I have said numerous times I found the whole experience really humbling, and I could understand now understand from personal experience how frustrating it was for women in situations where they had to hold it all day at work or for other reasons, and realize just how annoying and aggravating it could be. At the same time I am thinking that now that I am finally back in a situation where I have toilet access again I am once again taking more enjoyment of hearing of other women in that situation knowing that I am no longer in that situation, which I fully admit makes me sound less sympathetic and sort of evil, and that got me wondering whether other people have this attitude, particularly women.


I have talked to lots of men and women into female desperation over the years and one trend that I noticed is that I think that more women are into seeing other women desperate than men are seeing other men desperate. And I think that men are little bit more sympathetic towards a woman needing a bathroom than other woman are towards another woman needing the bathroom. Although I think there are plenty of men who take a little bit of a sadistic joy in being able to see us waiting in line for the bathroom and stuff like that, I have talked to a lot of people and a lot of supposedly heterosexual women still seem to also find it more amusing to see another woman desperate in a lot of situations compared to a man.
There was one situation that I frequently brought up about a situation where I remember once where I was in the city and there was a 30 minute line to the ladies room, but only 15 minutes to get to the bathroom, so I ended up having to hold it the whole ride home. But when I tell the story to both men and women I always bring up a hypothetical situation, if you found a bathroom I could have used without a wait so that I wouldn't have to wait the entire ride home would you have told me where the bathroom is, the interesting thing is that the men seem to have more chivalry about it and were more likely to help the woman find a bathroom, whereas other women seem to be more vindictively interested in seeing me not get to go to the bathroom. I wonder if it's partially because men are more sexually attracted to women and they think by being the potential savior and finding the bathroom for a damsel in distress maybe that will win them sympathy points or something like that, or maybe men are just more sympathetic towards women in general than women are towards other women.


Another thing that I noticed though that was after I got my job without bathrooms I think that although lots of men seemed to be more likely to like hearing me in that situation, when I started talking about this to men and women alike I think that men were a little bit more sympathetic to the situation, whereas women I think where little bit more like, tough, suck it up bitch! Again maybe it's because seeing as I enjoyed seeing lots of other women in that situation myself the fact that I was now in that situation and a lot of people view would be sort of like poetic justice, so I fully admit that maybe I am not totally deserving of sympathy in that regard.


I also thought that maybe partially it was because of the fact that I had always been spoiled by access to bathrooms where other women didn't have access to bathrooms, so it was more easy for me to find amusement in other women in that situation of aggravation since I didn't have to be in it myself. So a lot of people probably thought that the fact that I now had a job where I was the one stuck holding was sort of like, well well well Princess Jill now has to wait for a change, so maybe she will realize now that she is not quite so special and privileged and will have to learn what it's like to really have to go without a bathroom and everything like that. Not quite so funny anymore is it?


But one thing that I noticed was that a lot of the men responded by saying that they thought that maybe I should be able to find a toilet whereas lots of the women I talked to seem to think "a lady should have to hold it!" And I am wondering if that was just some type of societal conditioning where women sort of expect women to hold it and expect to hold other women up to that same standard (If I can't pee why should you be able to?). I am thinking that maybe women are little less sympathetic because they are in that situation themselves, so they feel that other people shouldn't have the right to complain if they put up with it, and the fact that I didn't have to put up with it before and now have to put up with it was just sort of kind of fitting, again given my previous attitudes and everything like that.


But I think that there is also the fact that women also have to use the bathroom together, so lots of women have been in situations where they have been in line and in competition to get to the bathroom first, so perhaps were less sympathetic to other women who might come after them or who might hog the stall and increase their own waiting time. So I do think that with women there is more of a competitiveness in gaining access to bathrooms, so it is sort of like an every woman for themselves scenario. I definitely witnessed this at my job where after a long day where all of us didn't have a bathroom, every woman was basically stampeding towards that bathroom to be first in line and to hell with all the women who came afterwards! And again, I am totally no different in that regard.


So all of this got me thinking about women in general, particularly women who have a fetish for desperation. In my other thread about worst jobs for women needing to pee I have to admit it made me feel a little bit better whenever I heard of women in worse bathroom related situations than me. But every time I heard of a woman, such as even a nurse, like my friend that I talked to who I mentioned in my other thread, having a bathroom more often than I do kind of made me aggravated and frustrated just knowing that other people had bathroom access when I did not, particularly people who used to not have the bathroom access and now had it when I didn't, again a reversal of fortunes.


And then the inspiration for this thread was specifically in my other thread about worst jobs for women needing to pee where I thought about my own feelings where HoldingPrinces mentioned she was at her job where as a dancer she had to work with a full bladder all day, and I was thinking that after where after everything I went through I should be more sympathetic, but all I could think about was that I was now once again in the favorable position of being at home with access to a toilet and my long bathroomless nightmare was finally over, and enjoying the fact of knowing that other women were still in situations where they couldn't go to the bathroom when I could. It was like I was suddenly back in that privileged spoiled position again and I was really liking the feeling, almost vindictively so, of knowing that I could go to the bathroom and other women couldn't, that I was no longer in that frustrating position they are still in.


So my question is given all of that is that somehow make me totally undeserving of sympathy? Particularly to other women who are still in situations where they are often in situations where they can't go to the bathroom all day at work or some other similar situation, does the fact that I enjoy the fact that I am now in that privileged position makes me kind of a bitch or something like that? And if the situation were reversed and you suddenly found yourself in a more favorable position where you now had access to the bathroom whenever you needed it, and you were still hearing about me stuck at my job without a bathroom, would you be thinking, well good she deserves it and enjoying your access to bathrooms all the more?


I guess overall my question is is there some type of vindictiveness among women who enjoy seeing other women having to go to the bathroom? Like the fact that they have been in that situation now you enjoy seeing others in that situation or being free from that situation yourself. Is the fact that we have all been in the same situation and had to suffer through it making you feel less sympathy for those who complain about still being stuck in that situation? This is something I am now very curious about.

 

Link to comment
  • 2 weeks later...

Been meaning to reply for a while but was working as a poll worker earlier this week, and... well, you know the rest.

After reading a couple of papers and studies on socialization of kids, and how parents react differently to the same activity depending on if the child is a boy or girl, I wonder if that might be related. There are cultural expectations for how men and women are supposed to act - men are expected to show no weakness, women are expected to be caretakers when weakness does get shown, that kind of stuff. In your situation, when women don't demonstrate compassion or sympathy that they're expected to, that might be where real world psychology runs into cultural mores and folkways. There's cognitive dissonance between what's expected and what's there.

I also remember reading that women who are bullies end up being drawn to nursing, and I remember a family member throwing their back out and the nurse basically saying they could suck it up for a few minutes, which caused no small amount of lasting resentment between our family and that particular woman. I wonder if the backlash would have been as strong if it came from a male doctor. Likewise, I wonder if women in certain careers are more or less likely to be sympathetic in these kinds of scenarios. No idea how to collect and measure that data though.

Link to comment

I think the most compelling point (at least for me) that you tap into there is the fact that women are used to holding it for long periods with limited bathroom access, and as such will (perhaps counterintuitively?) be less sympathetic. As you put it “why shouldn’t she suffer when I am?”

From my POV as a heterosexual man with an omo kink, I can only throw my hat into the ring of sympathy. Despite my fetish and propensity for fantasy, whenever a girlfriend has been in a genuine emergency in real life, I automatically go into “let’s find a bathroom” mode rather than any even vague thought of “hahaha let’s have fun and make you pee”. Which, you would expect of any man I suppose, but the fact sympathy is my default, unwavering response even as an omo fetishist is perhaps somewhat telling.

Link to comment

I'll provide a different perspective here. I have friends that are men and friends that are women, and I respect them all equally, but there's a part of my subconscious (the monkey brain, shall we say?) that insists I treat them differently. For example, I had a pregnant co-worker a couple years ago. Before her pregnancy, my coworkers and I knew what she was capable of and would only intervene if she asked for help. During her pregnancy however, people were much more protective of her, and often went out of their way to help with ordinary tasks she normally completed.

With that in mind, I think your male friends are generally more protective of you and your female friends see you as an equal, and are presumably closer to you.

 

Link to comment

"I also remember reading that women who are bullies end up being drawn to nursing, and I remember a family member throwing their back out and the nurse basically saying they could suck it up for a few minutes, which caused no small amount of lasting resentment between our family and that particular woman. I wonder if the backlash would have been as strong if it came from a male doctor. Likewise, I wonder if women in certain careers are more or less likely to be sympathetic in these kinds of scenarios. No idea how to collect and measure that data though."


I had not read that about nurses as most of the nurses I know have been fairly nice (unfortunately as a person who goes to the hospital constantly I'm sort of like a celebrity at the hospital, and pretty much all the nurses know me by name there) but I think that there is some truth to what you say perhaps, because if you are in a situation as a nurse you have sort of power over people who are in a helpless state, so it gives you sort of like a situation of control over other people, which admittedly would appeal to bullies.


It almost reminds me of this Stephen King story called "the Little Green God of Agony" where this billionaire is crippled and his nurse is completely unsympathetic to him because he figures he can just buy his way out of doing the work to get himself better, and she is sort of cruel to him. And then of course there is Stephen King's other novel Misery, about a woman who is sort of a sadist being a caretaker to the man whose legs she breaks. I have to admit I think of those Stephen King stories when you brought that whole thing up.


You are right that it would be hard to measure data like this directly, and it would be kind of an interesting survey to put out there I suppose. But I think the nurses might be a little bit less sympathetic or that doctors are supposedly close off their emotions because they see so much pain that if they connected too much with the people experiencing the pain it would be painful for them to do their job, so to be a doctor or a nurse or any type of medical professional you have to harden yourself to what you are seeing and encourage other people to toughen up for their own good.


I also feel like nurses, being that they are in a situation where they experience lots of bladder pain since they don't get to go to the bathroom often, might be less sympathetic in this regard, figuring that if they can wait that long and they have to experience that they are not going to feel bad for other people who have to hold less than they do. Incidentally a lot of the people who seemed to be less sympathetic towards my situation were nurses, such as my one nurse friend that I have chatted with online, who seemed to be almost positively delighted to see herself in a situation where she now no longer had to go to work and suffer bladder pain, and where I suddenly did, sort of like a serves you right sort of situation now you know how much it sucks.


There is another woman that I knew in high school where I also had a bad bathroom situation where bathroom access was limited, and she seemed to think that it shouldn't be a problem to just hold it at school all day. Incidentally when I brought up the topic of potty parity, about giving women more toilets to even things up, she felt that that was unnecessary and unfair. Now she is a nurse, and although I haven't specifically asked her about the bathroom situation, I kind of wonder if sort of that attitude carries over into the nursing attitude that people should be able to hold their pee or something. But she was also a bit of a sadomasochist who liked cutting herself and enjoyed pain, so maybe that makes her less bothered by human pain.


But she was always a nice person and everything like that, even if she was on the dark side like all of my friends were, and now she is a very loving mother, but she is a nurse and I think that nurses probably have an attitude of they don't want to take crap from people in general, which I have to admit must be hard for healthcare workers now having to deal with lots of people not wanting to wear masks and socially distance etc.


"I think the most compelling point (at least for me) that you tap into there is the fact that women are used to holding it for long periods with limited bathroom access, and as such will (perhaps counterintuitively?) be less sympathetic. As you put it “why shouldn’t she suffer when I am?”"


I do think that actually is a large part of it, because you are all sort of in the same situation. The way I see it I think that they be there is some type of solidarity and being in the same situation, but also if a person tries to escape the situation you get more angry at them. Sort of like if you are all poor and you're unionizing against someone who is mistreating you economically, you resent the person who is a scab who works for better pay while you are trying to fight for equality.


In the same why I think that when you are a bunch of women waiting together in the bathroom line when you all have to wait together, you sort of accept that you are in that situation, so you resent the idea of a woman who suddenly thinks, hey I'm going to go into the men's room, or I'm going to cut in line or something like that. A man seeing a woman in agonizing pain in a bathroom line might offer to help let her use the men's room, but I think that a woman in that situation is probably thinking, wait she should have to wait if we have to wait, why should she get a special privilege like that? It's because you are stuck in the same boat together you are sort of competitive with each other, like you have to compete for the bathroom access, and people who find loopholes and leave you hanging, you resent them and the sympathy evaporates.


I do have to admit that in my case specifically it was almost a little bit of a case of serves you right type of situation. Seeing as everyone knows that I enjoy seeing women in desperate situations like that, to suddenly see me in that situation all the time on a really regular basis is sort of like, now you know how it feels and you have nothing to complain about. So I think that after I enjoyed so many others in that situation, for others to suddenly see the situation completely reversed, where now everyone else was at home and had access to bathrooms and suddenly I was the one dealing with having to keep my legs crossed for six hours desperately holding on for dear life, it's kind of harder to be sympathetic after the way I had behaved in the past. So I think that on some degree there is some understandable vindictiveness, of all people it definitely serves her right to be in that situation, poetic justice at its finest. And as a person who appreciates poetic justice in my stories I can understand that, but when you are the one on the receiving end of that it is certainly not as funny!


So certainly in my case it was sort of a reversal of fortune situation where I think a lot of people have this attitude of, well Princess it looks like now you have to hold as well, so you just going to have to suck it up and deal with it just like everybody else does, even if my situation was a lot worse than most women when it came to bathroom access, so worst of all possible worlds.


"With that in mind, I think your male friends are generally more protective of you and your female friends see you as an equal, and are presumably closer to you."
I think that there is definitely truth to that. I think that people are trained to see the opposite sex more sympathetically, maybe in part due to the fact that, at least for heterosexual people anyway, is that your sympathy might win you some type of points with the opposite sex so to speak.


But I think that this also extends to the fact that you see men frequently putting down other men and roughhousing other men but they don't do the same with women. But likewise even though women are not usually physically combative with each other the way men are, women are still tending to be competitive towards one another. So I think that you are definitely right, you see people of the opposite sex more protectively, where as you see people of the same sex as you as in the same situation, and maybe a little bit in competition with each other. You're basically on the same boat so you are less sympathetic to those who might complain about being in the same situation you are, and you deeply resent those who try to get out of the situation. Men are bigger assholes to other men who ridiculed each other for their lack of manliness, as I think that women are more competitive with each other, sort of like how a lot of women who I chatted with about this said that a lady should be able to hold and I should basically just suck it up.


If you really went into a deep analysis of this you could probably and analyze things along race, class, national and economic lines as well, but I think that that goes beyond this topic. But I think that there is sort of the expectation that people who are more like yourself you might be giving them same expectations and expecting them to behave similarly, and less sympathetic if they complained because you are all in it together in the same situation.


Although to be fair I think men can definitely be more big jackasses in general even if they have greater chivalry. Like I have mentioned elsewhere before back in high school when they locked all of the girls bathrooms except for one, and I was stuck holding it all day, my guy friends thought it was kind of hilarious to see me in that situation, where as my female friend, the one who is now the nurse that I mentioned above, she didn't really see it as funny or as mockingly, but she didn't have the attitude that it shouldn't be a problem. But I think that that's just the way friends are, friends tend to be more prone to tease each other in general regardless of the sex.
 

Link to comment

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...