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I have to admit... I'm a little ashamed to have this fetish.


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Hello.

I am someone who's been in other fetish circles for quite some time, I recently found out i had a fetish for filling diapers and holding your pee for so long that your bladder bulges, but i remember someone telling me something along the lines of

"As long as you're not into that pee stuff it's fine"


That has been in the back of my head. I've been trying to get rid of this fetish for a while now but... i can't help it. I keep going back to it. I don't know WHY i like it.
I don't know HOW I like it
It doesn't make ANY SENSE to me.

I want to socialize more in this community but... it's just, it feels wrong. I don't know what to say about it. I feel like i need some help with this...

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It's understandable that you feel this way. Honestly, I'm not really sure why I like this fetish either. I just do, and I'm ok with that. You shouldn't feel like you need to fix or be ashamed in your interests. If someone has a problem with you having a pee fetish, then that's their problem not yours. I hope that you starting to engage more with this community can help you be more accepting of your fetish.

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As another person who is in multiple fetish circles, I know exactly what you mean. Finding out I was into other things beyond what I though is always rough. I don't really have too much of a reason to be into any of it, but I still am. Nobody really has an 100% surefire reason for being into certain things, it's just a case of trying to work with it. I hope you can learn to accept it for what it is. Just ignore those who tell you how to act or what to like, they aren't worth your time.

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Most fetish circles claim to be friendly to all kinks, though I have also found that many people don't have much tolerance for water sports.  Whenever I became interested in a woman in our fetish circle, I always asked her what her "hard lmits" were very early on, and there were indeed many who listed water sports as a hard limit. But there were always a few who were interested. I kept my ears open at munches and socials and tried to get to know anyone who talked about peeing. I met a few lovely ladies that way. While most of them were into more conventional golden showers, a real golden shower girl will seldom refuse such a harmless request as wetting her panties.

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27 minutes ago, dirtyoldman said:

Most fetish circles claim to be friendly to all kinks

Honestly, I've found it more so that people that I share no fetishes with tend to be much more friendly about my other fetishes than people I share one with. Someone who knows nothing about what any of my fetishes are will be super interested in it to any ends. Someone I share my fat fetish with will absolutely lose it at a single mention of pee.

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5 hours ago, puffybladder21 said:

(...) but i remember someone telling me something along the lines of

"As long as you're not into that pee stuff it's fine"

That has been in the back of my head.

I grew up ages before the internet as we know it today came into existence. I remember very well what a burden sentences like the one you quoted and the feeling of being a one-of-a-kind can put on you.

I'm not sure whether getting rid of a fetish would work. For me: I stayed away from wetlook and wetting for a couple of years in my early twenties. But it came back with force and I enjoyed more than ever. I think around that time I fully accepted what I was and still am. Learning that I'm not the only one with these kinks a few years later was a huge relief.

In my humble opinion you should start to accept yourself with your fetishes. You found a friendly site here with like-minded people. Come to a rest and enjoy your time here.

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I understand, at many points in my life i get embarrassed about it, at some points it was the only thing that excited me. It was always my little secret, and i would be horrified if someone were to find out to this day. But i have learned from close friends, everyone's got their thing.  My fiancee loves dirty socks and feet, and its honestly allowed both of us to glow closer to each other dipping into each others fetishes. Be happy and comfortable especially if it doesnt hurt anytone.

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Quote

Don't waste your time judging yourself for what you get off to, if you're not hurting anybody it's nobody's business.

 

Well said. Each person has an individual erotic landscape. It is part of who we are and part of what makes us unique. The media tries to tell us what should turn us on. Men, for example, are supposed to be atracted to women with yellow hair and large mammary glands, and the proper way to treat them is with five minutes of the missionary position. (I am sure the media must have its own messages that it sends subconsciously to women, but I don't really know what they are.) While some people may genuinely have such attractions, there are too many who just orient themselves to whatever society wants them to do -- or lust for. They may have very different feelings deep inside, kinky and fetishistic, and they try to push these feelings -- their true feelings -- away into some dark corner of their minds. This never works; it only confuses us and makes us unhappy -- or, as in the beginning of this thread, guilty. To embrace your own erotic landscape (as long as it harms no one) and to explore it to the best of your ability is to learn valuable lessons about your own uniqueness and individuality. It is part of learning who we really are.

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This really isn't that bad as far as fetishes go. Just be lucky you're not into something really vile like necrophilia or cannibalism.

4 hours ago, dirtyoldman said:

Well said. Each person has an individual erotic landscape. It is part of who we are and part of what makes us unique. The media tries to tell us what should turn us on. Men, for example, are supposed to be atracted to women with yellow hair and large mammary glands, and the proper way to treat them is with five minutes of the missionary position. (I am sure the media must have its own messages that it sends subconsciously to women, but I don't really know what they are.) While some people may genuinely have such attractions, there are too many who just orient themselves to whatever society wants them to do -- or lust for. They may have very different feelings deep inside, kinky and fetishistic, and they try to push these feelings -- their true feelings -- away into some dark corner of their minds. This never works; it only confuses us and makes us unhappy -- or, as in the beginning of this thread, guilty. To embrace your own erotic landscape (as long as it harms no one) and to explore it to the best of your ability is to learn valuable lessons about your own uniqueness and individuality. It is part of learning who we really are.

Nothing wrong with fucking a blonde woman with big boobs, but it's even better if she pissed herself first!

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Puffybladder21 ... I really understand what you are saying. It is really very hard when it seems you are the only one who enjoys certain fetish(es). 

All it takes is one person saying "EWWWW" or one look or even one incident to happen that makes sharing your interests again so much more difficult.

Here is one time for me (but all is not lost see after the story)

I remember at university it was the first Halloween "Kiss or Treat". My very first girlfriend and I had broken up and I was devastated. (And it was my fault. I was clingy and didn't know it. I'm still sorry, Jan. ) Anyway, I wanted someone to knock on my door. So I could open it. The body painted naga (neck up with fangs), said, with sibilance ">SSSS or Treat". And I said, not thinking "Oh gods, that is my favourite kink!" ">SSSS" please. 

She opened her eyes (which I now realized were closed and she had eyes painted on her eyelids. They were really well done. She stopped and said "You aren't Kurtssssss". 

"No?" (Kurt was my roommate who went somewhere every weekend. It turns out it was with an Australian TA from the History Department.) "I can be Kurt ... if you want?"

The Naga looked me up and down and started into the room. I could not believe my luck. I was at least going to get to kiss her, right? Maybe? (I had never heard of Kiss or Treat until this morning.) 

She sat on his bed and motioned me over. I started to lean in to kiss her. She did have some alcohol on her breath ... but I was only going to kiss her. I think our lips touched. I want to say they did ... but she pushed me back a little.

"Did you ssssay Psssss?" she hissed through plastic fangs. 

"Huh?"

"Did you think I was going to give you a PSSSS or Treat?"

"Um ..." "Er, " (OH, no ... Here it comes again. Do I lie and give up the chance she is into it or do I admit it?)

"I thought that's what you said ..." 

"You're weird..."

She got up and left.

And that is kind of the reaction I get (at best). Or the people around me go silent. And that's how I usually ended a fun evening of "What is YOUR kinkiest fantasy?" game between drunk friends.

 

But, Here - on this site - I have gotten a lot more courageous. And a LOT of emotional support. It was only after being on here a couple of years that I told my best friend about my interest in women peeing (I did not tell him everything 😛 ). He was and is cool with it. 

I don't feel alone here. And that is good. I hope it helps you not feel ashamed to like what you like. 

Cheers!

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You don't have to feel ashamed of it. Whoever told you that must just be really turned off by omo. Provided everything is consensual when engaging in it, no one's property is being damaged, etc., it is harmless.

Why do you have the fetish? Why do I? Same reason anyone has any fetish. It just is.

I know, I've felt ashamed of it too and would fight it for years, but eventually I was able to accept it as part of who I am, and realize it was all harmless as I was never forcing anything on anyone and wouldn't wish a humiliating pee accident on anyone (though sometimes I do fantasize).

Furthermore, as has been mentioned above, this is a friendly community. You're past the stage with the "newbie" restrictions, know why those are there? To keep creeps out of this site. And if they do get past that phase, they get banned. So just about everyone here who hasn't been banned is all right.

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I can see why you would, to be honest. I can relate to it, personally.

I do occasionally really like to unpack fetishes and what they often are linked to / what are they manifestations of etc. 

From past posts I've seen of others discussing this in the same way you are, they've often consulted people like counsellors and psychologists to help them with various aspects of their lives, including their wetting habits which naturally they often are most concerned about. I think most can agree that this fetish is generally not something the average person does, or at least not a sign of good long-term mental health in most cases. But also not too dissimilar from other fetishes that are popular, such as golden showers and watersports etc, which is something I imagine to be relatively common (not that I'm really in to that aspect of it myself).

Anyway, I'm yet to find any studies on this, but from what the posts I've seen previously conclude, the poster's issues (including their omo tendencies) usually stem from childhood issues. Different for everyone, though, naturally.

I can see clearly why someone would want to drop the fetish, as I'm always on-the-fence about it myself. I did once stop, at the height of my hormonal teenage years when I decided I needed to focus more on studies and personal well-being. I think it took a real, genuine accident a couple years later to sway me back though. I'd also never tell anybody I actually know about it either, as I'd expect them to give me the same advice you received. Moreover, I don't actually think they can be blamed for dishing that advice out, no matter how much I enjoy the fetish. It's a privilege to have people who look out for your wellbeing, which I imagine may be what they were trying to do.

But it could also just be good ol' fashioned kink-shaming. 

Ultimately, it's up to you how you feel at any one time about it. I'd recommend worrying less about reaching an 'overall' opinion/mantra to stick to on it, unless you want to commit to never doing it again and would be perfectly happy with that. 

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On 10/7/2020 at 10:31 AM, puffybladder21 said:

"As long as you're not into that pee stuff it's fine"

Look, one person said that to you.  One.  That person found it a turn-off.  So what?

Surely you have things that turn you off?

It's okay, though.  You have found your tribe.  We are here for you.  Make yourself comfy and unleash a nice, long, warm, wet stream, and make sure you get good and wet doing it. 

We accept you, one of us!

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And don't let that person's words get to you. A lot of people have it stuck in their heads that pee is evil due to side effects of potty training, since everyone gets potty trained at a very young age. Of course you still don't want to force it on anyone or make them uncomfortable but as long as you do nothing immoral or creepy with it (and fantasizing is fine even if it's of a humiliating scenario), there's nothing wrong with it.

Of course it's still natural for a lot of us (myself included) to keep it to ourselves, or in many cases, only a sexual partner. (Excluding the anonymity of sites like these of course)

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I think perhaps it helps to distinguish how you would feel if someone accidentally found out your wetting/messing fetish - probably pretty awful - and how you feel about it yourself. I think embarrassing things probably make far better fetishes than non-embarrassing things. I mean how could anyone get turned on by eating an apple or doing a maths problem!

Even ordinary sex has quite a lot of embarrassment - putting your tongue into someone else's mouth, getting naked with someone else, etc.

I think everyone in this thread has given you great advice, so relax and do  it all in your pants!

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I used to feel awkward when I first learnt my love for this fetish but a I have got older and moved out to my own place I find the fetish more and more enjoyable. Living at home was difficult which added to the stresses for me. I love the independence knowing I can hold when I want and have an "accident" without answering to anyone which has made the whole fetish enjoyable. 

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 10/12/2020 at 11:37 PM, CarmenCD said:

I guess most of us are a little ashamed to have this fetish, otherwise we wouldn't hide from our friends and family etc.

Not talking about fetishes with friends and family is just basic decency. I don't want to hear about my buddy being into bald women or something, any more than he wants to hear me gush (pun intended) about a drunk woman helplessly wetting her skirt because she can't get to the toilet.

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For me sexual desires are something like sports. Most people like football and hockey. Some of them like water polo and just few likes boxing-chess or sth. It's everyone's thing what they like or not. I know, sex is still kinda tabu, but you get the thing. Don't be ashamed of your taste. It's their problem, if they don't like it. You are not forcing them into it. You don't blame them to like some food, that you don't like. It's the same thing. It's just that sexual things of this kind are from some reason still tabu in our society. Nothing else. I hope, that this community will help you. 🙂

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