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How did people here reveal this fetish to their partners?


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Every time I've had to mention it to an SO, it's usually been a really casual conversation. A few months into dating, usually (but not always) after we've had sex, the topic of fetishes usually just casually pops up. Sometimes I'm a little hesitant, but often times I found just being straightforward about it is best. It's often well-received and I've never personally had a partner who was unwilling to try, though I have had some that didn't like the experience.

I have consistently found that if you act like it's a big, embarrassing deal, they'll be more nervous and anxious about it, but if you mention it casually they typically take it in stride. One of the first times I had to mention it, I was really nervous, and I played it up to be a big, secret thing, and the girl I was with smacked me playfully and said "Is that it?" when I told them I had a pee fetish.

I'd like to point out that my success with this in the past probably isn't universally applicable to all situations, and probably has something to do with me as a person and the people I date, as well as my particular age demographic. I'm in my mid-20s and judging from the fact that you've been married for 30 years you're likely significantly older than me (assuming that's what you meant by "wife of 3 decades"). Naturally the people I date are going to be around the same age as me. Beyond that I'm a pretty open guy so typically people already know I have a bit of a perverted side going into the relationship with me, even though they don't know specifics.

Ultimately the strategy will probably depend a lot on what kind of person your wife is, but my main advice is be upfront and straightforward about it, and don't make it a big deal.

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I've had similar experiences. I generally tell my lovers about it quite early on (before or after the first time we have sex). One thing that I think has worked well for me is saying up front, "I'm not asking you to do this." (The second part, "...but I'd love it if you did", can wait a bit.) 

Another trick is comparison. My old standby is the sneeze fetish, and how there are websites dedicated to celebrities with head colds. 

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On 9/4/2020 at 4:47 AM, Railgun-sama said:

Every time I've had to mention it to an SO, it's usually been a really casual conversation. A few months into dating, usually (but not always) after we've had sex, the topic of fetishes usually just casually pops up. Sometimes I'm a little hesitant, but often times I found just being straightforward about it is best. It's often well-received and I've never personally had a partner who was unwilling to try, though I have had some that didn't like the experience.

I have consistently found that if you act like it's a big, embarrassing deal, they'll be more nervous and anxious about it, but if you mention it casually they typically take it in stride. One of the first times I had to mention it, I was really nervous, and I played it up to be a big, secret thing, and the girl I was with smacked me playfully and said "Is that it?" when I told them I had a pee fetish.

I'd like to point out that my success with this in the past probably isn't universally applicable to all situations, and probably has something to do with me as a person and the people I date, as well as my particular age demographic. I'm in my mid-20s and judging from the fact that you've been married for 30 years you're likely significantly older than me (assuming that's what you meant by "wife of 3 decades"). Naturally the people I date are going to be around the same age as me. Beyond that I'm a pretty open guy so typically people already know I have a bit of a perverted side going into the relationship with me, even though they don't know specifics.

Ultimately the strategy will probably depend a lot on what kind of person your wife is, but my main advice is be upfront and straightforward about it, and don't make it a big deal.

I’m not that much older. Life in the West Virginia coal mining towns is rough.

 

(Yes, I’m much older than you).

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2 hours ago, PrincessPeeach said:

In what way? 

If you for example want to pee yourself- do you do it in all secret or it is possible that your husband get know it even if he does not participate on it?

My ex wife got know about my fetish, she did not want to participate but there was not problem to pee myself, clean all and hang clothes after washing without her bad comments about my fetish.

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20 hours ago, PrincessPeeach said:

I’ve been married 20+ years. I told my husband last year. I found it incredibly hard, it took me like an hour to finally get it out. He was like ‘huh, that's it?’ After my dramatic build up I guess he was expecting something more exciting....

He hasn’t mentioned it since. 

Isn't that very disappointing for you. If I shared with a life partner, I'd hope that they'd recognise it for the important fetish that it is and at least do something about it.

I share with all sorts of women just on the off-chance that they'll play up to it. It's a dangerous activity. 😄

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I told my partner some years ago. Very early in our relationship, the topic of kinks came up on its own, and I thought it made a good opportunity since I wanted her to know and hoped she would be into it. I really thought she might be, given her enthusiasm for gross-out and toilet humor and the fact that should did wet herself on more than one occasion. She didn't find it any of it sexual, though. So when I told her, her response was literally "Oh god, not another one!" It turned out that her partner before me was also into omorashi and pee play (which one of you was it!? LOL). She was teasing, though. She wasn't upset about it, and she has indulged my kink on a few occasions, even though it's not her thing. I was glad I told her even though she wasn't into it. It seemed much better than her finding out inadvertently or much later on in the relationship. I still indulge in my kink from time to time, but I keep it to myself. 

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8 minutes ago, David_E said:

Ultimately people often have to choose between a partner who is perfect sexually and one who is ideal in other ways.

This ^^^. I wouldn't lie that I haven't seen couples where both 'perfects' seemed to be included between them, but it's rare, very rare. Mostly you have to choose one out of two outlined above, whichever is more important for you atm, especially if "sexually" means for you not just plain vanilla stuff but also kinks. I think revealing your major fetish(es) to your partner is kind of important, because living for decades hiding such things is simply uncomfortable. But expecting that your partner will jump onboard and will be your ideal omorashi partner in crime is like expecting to win a million in a lottery. 

My partner knew about my omo interests from the beginning, for some time she seemed to be into it too, but her interest in it vanished years ago with sexual desires overall, so while she knows, at this time in my life it wouldn't be much different from if she wouldn't know at all.

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It's a story I've posted before, but I'll post it again because it's great.

At the time of this story, me and my boyfriend (We'll call him John) had been together for two years, and lived in a house together. He didn't know I liked omo, and I wasn't keen on him knowing. I'd just indulge in peeing when he wasn't home. (He's very active and would often be out for jogs, or to the gym.)

On this particular day, I had been holding for a while, knowing it was Saturday, which meant John was going to be headed to the gym soon, and I would have a chance to wet myself and clean before he got home.

By the time he was out the door, he had been running a little behind, and rushed out. I, with a bladder that was about to burst, sat down at my desk to get ahead on work, and began to wet myself almost instantly. I was happily working while pee filled my pants and ran off the sides of the chair, to the hardwood floor.

As I was in the middle of peeing, I hear the door open. I can't see John from my office, but I hear him speak:

"Ethan? Have you seen my waterbottle? I almost forg--" He stops, then speaks again, "What's that noise?" I know he's referring to the sound of pee hitting the floor around me.

I hear him start to approach, and I quickly begin to try and hold, but can't, my bladder still going strong. John's footsteps grow louder and faster, and suddenly he's in the doorway. He stops. He stares for a minute

Then he wets himself, right where he's standing, full force, his face a mix of relief and surprise.

Once we both finish, we're silent. There's pee all over the floor, both of us in soaked pants, just staring at each other.

"Please tell me you did that on purpose, or I'm gonna look like a fool." John finally speaks.

"Yeah... are you... into wetting?" I ask nervously.

"I mean, duh. I literally just wet myself on purpose." He smiles, "I guess I'm not going to the gym today, because it seems like we have some talking to do."

And that we did. We talked about how we had both been into omo long before knowing each other, and how we had both been wetting ourselves every chance we had.

 

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I’m not really shy about letting people know I’m into pee in a very broad sense— very few people know the specifics of it. I finally told my husband after two years because we were having a series of conversations about sex and having more open kink communication. I just prefaced by saying “it’s hard for me to say because I feel like it’s weird and I experience shame around it sometimes” so he knew to be gentle with his reception of it. He guessed that it had something to do with pee and I told him the details and why I like it and he was like “that makes sense” 

He doesn’t want to engage in any of it still— but he took it really well and we’re both glad I told him 

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I've told three girlfriends, including the one I am currently dating. In one instance, I said it pretty early on in the relationship (it came out when I was drunk), and that didn't go as well.

The other two times, I waited until we were more comfortable about things (maybe 4-5 months). I never wanted to wait too long because I felt I'd never tell them if I waited. The responses from both girls were positive enough. Neither were into it themselves, but both indulged me on occasion - and that's honestly all I could ask for. 

My only problem was building it up in my head to be this horrible thing each time. I would hint at things and they would ask what I meant, but then getting me to actually admit it was like pulling teeth. It would've been better not to make such a big deal about it because, in both instances, they were sort of relieved when I finally told them. I think my reluctance to spit it out made them think it was going to be much worse than the reality.

It's easier said than done, but I think it's important to not make too big of a deal out of it.

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28 minutes ago, Max1990 said:

I’m not really shy about letting people know I’m into pee in a very broad sense

I'm on the same boat with that. My boyfriend was the only one I really got nervous about because I didn't want to ruin our relationship. I told multiple friends that I was into it, and many more just thought I was careless when I kept peeing around them.

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Sometimes it's come up naturally believe it or not.  In the shower with my gf and she says she needs to pee -  I say go for it and when she does, I put my hand down there and kiss her as she lets go.  (That's happened a couple times and is an easy way to start exploration for sure).  

The tried and true method I've found is simply:  when a gf or potential gf and I are hanging out and she says she needs to pee...?  I just ask:  "Can I watch"?  It's a pretty harmless way to get their reaction.  The LAST time I asked this the girl was pretty shocked and not at ALL into that notion...which surprised me as she was super kinky otherwise.  If she says yes?  I follow her in and as she's going (if she's not too shy to....if she is I just give her privacy and try again another day) lean over to kiss her as she sits on the toilet.  One time I'd already had a semi experience with a girl (via the shower) and I took it further right then and there.  I'll post about it in my 'pretty girls that peed their pretty panties' thread later this week. 

All in all?  If they're not into it, I don't push it.  And i've found that's the easiest way, by far, to approach it.  Simple.  To the point.  Easy gauge.  Opens the door for further exploration if you're lucky.

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I've told all the somewhat serious(knew for over a month) girlfriends I've had. Two of them had some kinks themselves and they pushed the conversation of fetishes early on in the relationship, so I told them. One of wasn't really kinky but we were just talking about different fetishes and she straight up asked me if I had any fetishes. I just said I like when girls have to pee or are peeing, and she said it's gross but she could see how it could be hot too. So nobody I've known(even a fairly vanilla girl) were rejecting of it.

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(Joint account, that's why there's two answers)


I revealed myself first. Honestly,,, I just couldn't help myself. Me and my boyfriends were all just chillin' one day and I just decided to wet myself right then and there. Made a huge puddle on the floor. It was fun 😛

Though it wasn't till much later on that I actually began to admit to each of them that it was fetish thing. (Though Erian found out much sooner)

-Ryan
 

After seeing Ryan do his business just, on the floor in the middle of the living room, I wasn't sure if he did on purpose or not. I gave it a couple weeks, and had basically forgotten about it, until I walked in on him peeing onto the bathroom floor. Just like, pants off, peeing on the floor of the bathroom at our house. 

He blushed real hard (only time I've like actually witnessed him blush), before I just closed the bathroom door behind myself, dropped my pants and joined him. We both had a laugh about it as we cleaned it up.

I later came out to our other boyfriends, and although none of them are into it, it was well received all around.

-Erian

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  • 1 month later...

For the past few years I tell most people I meet with the purpose of dating within the first 3 or 5 dates. I just start some kinky talk and slowly get into the subject ("what the weirdest thing you ever done in bed?", "what's your kink?", etc). And most of them indulge me on it, often on the same day I tell them about it - even the ones that laugh and say it's gross. But I still rarely tell someone I already knew before start dating (like a friend).

I was frightened of telling any serious girlfriend. Nowadays I realize how stupid I was, I'm sure all of them would have appreciated and participated on it happily.

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On 11/13/2020 at 2:32 AM, Shygirl11 said:

I actually just came out to my husband, who I've been with for almost 20 years (married 10). It was a lot of stumbling over my words and hiding under my pillow, but ultimately it's better now. He doesn't bring it up much, except to say I seem more relaxed now. 

Before you said it to your husband- did you pee yourself in all secret? Now is it possible to wet yourself without to hide it?

Will he participate on your fetish or he is not into it?

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  • 4 weeks later...
On 11/14/2020 at 11:35 AM, Lukhas said:

Before you said it to your husband- did you pee yourself in all secret? Now is it possible to wet yourself without to hide it?

Will he participate on your fetish or he is not into it?

He's actually already offered once, and I'm the one who chickened out! He has never done anything before, so he's not even sure if he likes it. He just said he's worried about a mess. I told him I've done it tons of times and never been caught, so it can't be too bad haha! He chuckled. 

All the kids are out for the night tonight...wish me luck! 

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